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6EN. GARFIELD. y '*• ' * • i Answer to HjjjPp- ^Jitictd. Traducers' . k m a Speech Delivered at War­ ren, Ohio, in 1874. Charges Against His Careei Met and Settled. Solid Fads Which So OM Can Go v Behind to Disprove. ifeteir is the greater portion of the famous 4g>eech of Gen. James A. Garfield, delivered at Warren, Sept. 19, 1874, in which he fully met 4ihd answered all the charges that have ever "keen made against him, and considered all the criticisms that were at that time offered by his •enemies upon his official career. The speech in fall is a powerful campaign •document, and should be printed as such and •circulated among those who desire honestly to investigate Gen. Garfield's official career. He has remained silent on no great question that . has come before the people for the past twenty years. He has never been on the wrong side, hot has ever raised hiB voice, not on the side that the superficial observer considered right, .hot he has invariably been vindicated by the verdict of time. THK 8FEKCH. . FELLOW-CITIZENS : I have thought for a •number of years that we should reach a point where our political discussions would not relate mainly to the past; where, in the language of ,-aome politicians of thedav. we should "let by- _gonos be bygones," and the politics of our timo • would look mainly to the future. But the presence of great events, such as have trans­ pired within the past few days in one of our Btates, leads me to fear we must again discuss some of the questions connected with the late war. To-night I should prefer to discuss that and other questions of public policy. Thus far in my public speeches there has been but little personal discussion. I have tried to make my public life as impersonal as possible ; bat the • oourse taken by some citizens of this district Justifies me, I think, in departing from the or­ dinary rule, and I shall discuss to-night mainly •4}Uestions of a somewhat personal character. In the first place, I recognize it as a peculiar­ ly important element in our American politics .that the full blaze of public discussion, investi- -gation' and inquiry concerning all men who serve the public as a safeguard to our institu­ tions. I do not complain if sometimes the fierce light of the public presB burns rather than en­ lightens. That perhaps is one of the necessary incidents to a full discussion of individuals and •communities. I indorse and rejoice in the principle of the utmost individual liberty of judgment about all men, whatsoever their sta­ tion and career. That right of private judg­ ment is absolute in every American citizen. I find no fault with any man for exercising it upon me in the fullest possible manner. I only -demand that it shall be exercised upon me in Justice and for the sake of truth. Whenever it is exercised for any other purpose and in anj .other spirit, perhaps it is all the worse for the man who BO exercises it; but I have in that case a right to respond. I have come here to-night to reply to .a class of criticisms that have been made upon me during the ljist two years. When I have fully stated what I have to say to you on any •of those points, I invite any man, friend or •enemy, to put any question he chooses concern­ ing that point. I am of course addressing myself to ail who are in the audience ; but I there is one class of men whom I do not care to address--I mean those who are .glad to find me wrong, and who would be .un­ willing and grieved to know that I am not wrong. That class of men I do not address with any Hope of chauging any sentiment they may hold concerning nie. But there is a class into whose hearts and whose minds, for the last 'eighteen months, at least, a series of repeated .accusations have been poured, until they havo .come to think there must be some truth in the •charges. I have great sympathy for that class of men ; thev have been made to doubt where they formerly trusted, and, hearing but one aide, came to believe there was no other. To that class I address myself, with the utmost de- .aire to have them know what I am and what my public lif^ has been, and to give them whatever I Information I may possess on any point touch- 1 ing that career. THE CREDIT MOBILIEB. There is a large number of people in the Un-i ted States who use those words without any adequate idea of what they mean. I have no doubt that a great many people feel about it very much as the fishwomaii at Billingsgate market felt when Sydney Smith, the great humorist of England, came along and began to talk with her. She answered back in a very | . «aucy way, and he finallv began to call her | mathematical names. He called her a paral- ] •lelogram, a hypotheneuse, a parallopipedon, | and other such terms, and she stood back : aghast and said she never heard such a nasty- j talking man in her life--never was abused so j before. Now, people think they have said an | • enormous thing when they say that somebody I had something to do with the Credit Mobilier. > I ask your attention just for a very few mo- j ments to what that thing is, and, in the next place, to understand precisely what it is that I . am supposed to have had to do with it. The Credit Mobilier was a corporation char­ tered in 1859 by the State of Pennsylvania, and . authorized to build houses, buy lands, loan moi»ey, etc. No tiling of consequence was done with that company until the year 1867, when a • number of men bought up whatever 6tock there was in it and commenced to do a vcrv large business. In the winter of 1867 Mr. Train came .to me and showed me a list of names and sub­ scribers to the ktock of the Credit Mobilier •Company, and asked me to subscribe 41,000. 1 .should say there were fifteen or twenty members >of Congress on the list, and many more promi­ nent business men. He said that the company was §oing to buy lands along the line or the Pacific railroad at places where they thought there would cities and villages grow up and de­ velop, and he had no doubt that the growth of the countrv would make that investment double itself in a very short time. That was the alleged scheme that the Credit BKbilier Company had undertaken,--a thing that, if there is any gentleman in Warren who would feel any hesitancy in buying, it would be because he did not believe in the growth of the -country where the business was to be done. 'That stock was offered to me as a plain business proposition, with no intimation whatever that it was offered because the subscribers were mem­ bers of Congress, for it was offered to many -other people, and no better men live than at least a large number of the gentlemen to whom it -was offered. Some of them took it at once. Some men are cautious about making an investment; •others are quick to determine. To none of these men was any explanation made that this Credit Mobilier Company was in any way connected with a ring of seven men who owned the princl- P*!. portion of the stock, and who had a contract with the Directors of the Union Pacific road for building 600 or 700 miles at an extravagant price --largely above what the stock was wortlu That -was a secret held only by those seven men who -owned the principal portion of the stock. It ia now understood that Mr. Oakes Ames, who was the center of thatcompanvof seven men, sought to gain the friendship of fifteen or twenty prom­ inent Congressmen, with the view of protecting himself and the Pacific railroad against any in­ vestigation which might be made ; but it was a necessary part of his plan not to divulge that purpose, or m any way intimate to them that he might draw upon them for favors. Long before any such purpose was realized, long l>efore any pressure came upon Mr. Ames, most of the men who had been invited to pur­ chase that stock had either declined to pur- xhase or had purchased and realized, or had purchased and sold out. Bat, in 1872, in the midst of the Presidential campaign, an article was published in the public journals charging that sixteen prominunt members of Congress-- Senators and Representatives--had sold them­ selves for money or stock ; that they had ac­ cepted bribes. You remember that I was run­ ning for Congress in this district at that time. When that news came I was away in the Rockv mountains. I came home, and the first * dav after my arrival at Washing­ ton I authorized to be published a statement concerning what I knew about the Oakes Ames business. A great many people suppose now and say, and it has been repeated hundreds of times in this district, and especially in this town during the last two weeks, that Mr. Gar­ field hedged and denied any knowledge of the Credit Mobilier business until finally the investigation brought it out. I repeat that immediately on my arrival in Washington 1 made a statement to the correspondent of the Cincinnati Qwettt, of which the following is a copy : , .. WASHIXOTOX, Befit. IK, Mil Ctao. GarAsM* who has just arrivsd bete from the '***-• < »**• " * Indian country, has t<vd»y had the first opportunity of seeing the charges connecting his n&me with re- Mtvlng share* of the Credit Mobilier from Oakes Amen. Ho aathorl»)B the statement that he never subscribed for a share of the ntock, and that he never received or HW a share of it. When the company waa first formed, George Frauds Train, then active In It, came.to Washington and exhibited » list of mih- aenbera, of leading capitalist* and some members Of Congress, to the stock of the company. The subscription was described as a popular one of $1,000 cash. Train urged Gen. Garfield to subscribe on two occasions, and each time he declined. Subse­ quently he was again informed that the list was nearly completed, but that a chance remained for him to subscribe, which he again declined, and to thia day he has not antacrlbed for or received any Share of stock or bond of the company. Now, I want my audience to understand that in the midst of that storm, and tempest, and accnsatiou, and only a little while before the election, I stated it, and let it go broadcast to the daily press, that I did know something about the Credit Mobilier; that I had been invited to subscribe to it; that I had on two occasions dis­ cussed the matter; that I had taken it into con­ sideration, and that finally I had declined to subscribe; that I never had owned or held a share; had never seen a certificate of the stock. Now, I am not asking you at this moment to dis­ cuss the truth of that statement, but onlv to say that I stated it long before there was "any investigation talked of ; that I never dodged, or evaded, or denied having any knowledge of the subject, but at the first declared plainly and fully what I did know about it When Congress met, Speaker Blaine and the rest of UB whose names were concerned in it at once, on the first morning of the session, de­ manded a committee of investigation to go through with the whole subject, from beginning to end. I want those gentlemen who talk about Mr. Garfield being got after by committees of investigation to know that no investigation into any public affair has been held in the last three years in Washington that I have not helped to organize and bring about THE COMMITTEE OF INVESTIGATION. Now, what was the investigation ? You will remember that l^efore the investigation had gone far a feeling of alarm and excitement swept over the whole country that has hardlv been paralleled in American history. Some men whose names were connected with the charges of the Credit Mobilier matter, shocked at the terrible charge of bribery thrown at them, in the hurry of the moment so far forgot themselves as to give equivocal answers as to whether they knew anything about the matter or not, and the impression was made through­ out the country that the most of them had de­ nied that they knew anything about it. The fact was that the countrv was settling down to the belief that the whole thing was a mere campaign slander, and had no foundation in fact Looking at the subject from this distance, I am inclined to believe that the impression left upon the American mind is that the faults of thoso who were charged with buying stock was not that they did anything wrong in reference to the stock," but that'after- ward they prevaricated or lied about it Now, without discussing anybody else, 1 call yon to witness that I stated at once what I knew about it, the first time that I knew the talk was going the rounds of the newspapers. When the Com­ mittee of Investigation came to make up their report, there was one thing in that report to which I personally took exceptions, and only one. I understood that a gentleman occupied this room a few nights ago who undertook to make the impression upon his audience that Mr. Garfield was found guilty of some improper re­ lation with the Credit Mobilier. Let me read you a sentence or two from that report The committee says. " Concerning the members to whom he has sold, or offered to sell, the stock, the committee say that they 4 do not find that Mr. Ames, in his negotiations with the persons above named, en­ tered into any details of the relations between the Credit Mobilier Company and the Pacific Company, or gave them any specific informa­ tion as to the amount of dividends they would be likelv to receive, further than has been al­ ready stated--viz.: that in Borne cases he had gu ranteed a profit of 10 per cent. They do not find as to tne members of the present House above named that they were aware of the object of Mr. Ames, or that they had any other pur­ pose in taking this stock than to make a profit­ able investment. * * * They have not been able to find that any of these members of Con­ gress have been affected in their official action in consequence of interest in the Credit Mobi­ lier stock. * * * They do not find that either of the above-named gentlemen in con­ tracting with Mr. Ames had any corrupt motive or purpose himself, or was aware Mr, Ames had any, nor did either of them suppose he was guilty of any impropriety or indehcacy in be­ coming a purchaser of this stock. And, final­ ly, that the committee find nothing in the con­ duct or motives of either of these gentlemen in taking tins stock-that calls- for any recommen­ dation byTBe committee of the House." [See pages 8, 9, and 10.] In Mr. Ames' first testimony he names sixteen members of Congress to whom he offered the stock, and says that eleven of them bought it, but he sets Mr. Garfield down among the five who did not buy it. He says : " He (Garfield) did not pav for it or receive it * * * He never pni<J any money on that stock nor re­ ceived money on account of it." Let me add that the last grant to the Union Pacific railroad was bv the act of July, 1864. and that Oakes Ames had nothing to do with the Credit Mobilier till more than two years after that date. The point to which I took exception to the report of the committee was this: the report held that Mr. Ames and Mr. Garfield did agree upon the purchase of the stock, and that Mr. Gartield received »329 on account of it I in­ sisted that the evidence did not warrant that conclusion, and rose in my place in the House and announced that I should make that state­ ment good before the American public ; that I held nivself responsible to demonstrate that the committee was wrong; that, although they charged me with no wrong, they still had made a mistake of fact which was against the evi­ dence and unjust to me. Soon after I pub­ lished a pamphlet of twenty-eight pages, in which I carefully and thoroughly reviewed ail the testimony relating to me. I have now stood before the American people siuce the 8th day of May, 1873, announcing that the following prop­ ositions were proven concerning myself : That I never agreed even to take the stock of Mr. Ames ; that I never subscribed for it, never did take it; never received any dividends from it and never was in any way made a beneficiary by it. Seven thousand copies of that pamphlet have been distributed throughout the United States. Almost every newspaper in the United States has had a copy mailed to it. Every member of the Forty-second Congress--Demo­ crat and Republican--had a copy, and there is not known to me a man who, having read my review, has denied its conclusiveness of these propositions. I have seen no newspaper review of it that denies the conclu­ siveness of the propositions. It is for these rea­ sons that a great public journal, the New York Evening Post, said a few days ago that on this ixnnt (Jen, Garfield's answer had been received by the American people as satisfactory. I understand that a Mr. Tuttle, of Paiues- ville, said here on this platform a few nights ago that cither the Committee of Investi­ gation of the House of Representatives or Mr. Gartield lmd committed perjury in regard to this Credit Mobilier matter. I think that gentleman is a Proimte Judge. I wonder if he ever heard of two men making their statement of a case differing materially from each other without one or the other of them lning a perjurer. If I were in the habit of calling names it would not be difficult to find a name for a man whose in­ tellectual vision leads him to such a conclusion. If there is any gentleman in this audience who desires to ask any questions concerning the Credit Mobilier 1 shall be glad to hear it. [No response.] If not, would it not be about as well to modify the talk oil that subject hereafter ? No. The next thing I shall mention is a ques­ tion purely of official conduct--and that is a subject which has grown threadbare in this com­ munity, and yet I desire your attention to it for a few minutes. I refer to THE INCREASE OF OFFICIAL SALARIES one year and a half ago. First what are the accusations concerning me ? There are several citizens in this town who have signed their names to statements in the newspapers during that discussion, declaring that Mr. Garfield had committed n theft, a rob­ bery ; that, to use the plain Saxon word, he wus a thief. In one of these articles it was argued in this wise : " If I hire a clerk at my bank on a certain salarv, and he, having the key to my safe, takes out $500 to $5,000 more than we agreed for and puts it in his pocket, it is simply theft or robbery. He happeued to have access to the funds, and he got hold of them; so did Congress. You can't glosa it over," says the writer ; " it is robbery " Now, fellow-citizens, I presume you will agree that you can wrong even the Devil himself, and that it is not right or manly to lie even about Satan. I take it for granted that we are far enough past the passion of that' period to talk plainly and coolly about the increase of salaries. Now, in the first place, I Bay to-night what I have said all through this tempest that for a Congress to increase its own pay and make it retroactive is not theft or robbery, and you do injustice to the truth when you call it so. There is ground enough in which t< denounce it without straining the truth. Now, if Congress cannot fix its own salary, who can? The con­ stitution of your country says in unmistakable words, that '-Senators and Representatives shall reoeive a compensation to be ascertained by law and paid out of the national treasury." No­ body makes the law but OgogtvM. It wttt *> very delicate buanesa ia the beginning for ear fathers to make a law paying themselves money. They understood it so, and when they sent the constitution out to the several States the question was raised whether it would not be better to put a curb upon Congress in refer­ ence to their own pay, and in several of the States suggestions were sent in. When the First Congress met James Madison offered sev­ enteen amendments to the constitution, and finally Congress voted to send twelve of the proposed amendments to the country. One of them was this : " No law varying the compen­ sation of the Senators and Representatives in Congress shall take effect until an election has intervened." In other words, the First Con­ gress proposed that an amendment should be made to the new constitution that no Congress could raise its own pay and make it retroac­ tive. That was sent to the States for their ratification. The States adopted ten of those amendments. Two they rejected, and this was one of the two. They said it should not be in the constitution. The reason given for its rejection by one of the wisest men of that time was this. He said: " If we adopt it, this may happen: One party will go into power in a new Congress, but, just before the old Congress expires, the defeated party may pass a law reducing the pay of Congress to 10 cents a day. It will never do thus to nut one Congress into the power of another • it would be an engine of wrong and injustice." For this reason our fathers refused to put into the constitution a clause that would prevent back pay. Now, it will not do to say that a pro­ vision that has been deliberately rejected from the constitution is virtually there, and it will not do to say that it is just to call it theft and robbery for a Congress to do what it has plain­ ly the constitutional right to do. I use the word right in its legal sense. Mow, take another step. I hold in my hand here a record of all the changes of pay that have been made since this Government was founded, and in every case--I am not arguing now that it is right at all. I am only giving you a history of it--in every single instance when Congress has raised its pay it has raised it to take effect from the first day of the session of Congress. Six times Congress has increased its own pay, and every time it made the pay retroactive, I say again I am not arguing that this was right and proper; I am onlv arguing that it was lawful and constitutional to do it In 1856 the pay was raised, and was made re­ troactive for a year and four months, and the member of Congress from this district threw the casting vote that made it a law. That act raised the pay by a larger per cent, than the act of last Congress. Joshua R. Giddings was the one hundredth man that voted aye ; ninety-nino voted no. Joshua R. Giddings' vote the other way would have turned the score against it. That vote gave back pay for a year and four months. That vote gave Congress nine months' back pay for a time when members would not have been entitlod to anything whatever, be­ cause under the old law they were paid only dur­ ing the session. What did this district do? Did it call him a thief and a robber ? A few weeks after that vote this district elected him to Con­ gress for the tenth time. Hjtve the ethics of the world changed since 1856? Would I be a thief and a robber in 1873 if I had done what my predecessor did in 1856? In 1866 the pay was raised. That time it was put in the appropria­ tion bill, a very important appropriation bill; a bill giving bounties to soldiers. It passed through the Senate and came to the House. There was a disagreement about it Senator Sherman, of Ohio, had charge of the bill in the Senate, and voted against tne increase of pay every time when it came up on its own merits. But he was outvoted. Finally it went to a com­ mittee of conference. The conference report between the two houses was made in favor of the bilL Mr. Sherman brought in the report, saving, when he brought it in, that he had been opposed to the increase of pay, but the Senate had overruled him. He voted" for the confer­ ence renort, voted for the final passage of the bill, liiat bill gave back pay for a year and five months. Was John Sherman denounced as a thief and robber for that ? Was Benjamin F. Wade called a thief and a robber? At that time I was not Chairman of the com­ mittee, and had no other responsibility than that of an individual Representative, f voted against the increase of ~ salary, then, at all stages. I voted against the conference report, but it passed through the House on a final vote by just one majority. I do not remember that anybody ever praised me particularly for voting against that report, and I never heard anybody blaming John Sherman for voting for it. Now, in 1873, the conditions were exactly the reverse. I was Chairman of the committee that had charge oif the great appropriation bill. There was put upon that bill against my ear­ nest protest a preposition to increase salaries. I take it there is no one here who will deny that I worked as earnestly as I could ta praveut tb» putting of that increase upon that bilL I did not work against it because it was a theft or a robbery to put it on there ; I worked against it because I thought it was indecent, unbecoming, and in the highest degree unwise and injudi­ cious to increase the salaries at that time, first, because they had been increased in 1866, and, in proportion to other salaries, Congressmen were paid enough--paid more in proportion than most other officials were paia; second, the glory of the Congress has been that it was bringing down the ex­ penditures of the Government from the highest level of war to the lowest level of peace ; and if we raised our own salarv, unless the raise had been made before, it would be the keynote on which the whole tune of ex­ travagance would be sung. I believed, too, that it would seriously injure the Republican party, and on that score I thought we ought to resist it. I did all in mv power to prevent that pro­ vision being added to the bill. I votod against it eighteen times, and spoke against it. But by a very large vote in the House, aud a still-larger vote in the Senate, the salary clause was put upon the bill. I was Captain of the ship, and this objectionable freight had been put upon my deck. I had tried to keep it off. Wnat should I do ? Burn the ship ? Sink her ? Or. having washed my hands of the responsibility for that part of her cargo I had tried to keep off, navigate her into port, and let those who had put this freight on be responsible for it? Using tho figure, that was the course I thought it my dutj to adopt Now on that matter I might have made an error of judgmont. I believed then and now that if it had been in my power to kill this bill, and had thus brought on an extra session--I believe to-day, I ssy, had 1 been able to do that I should have been the worst- blamed man in the United States. Why? Dur­ ing the long months of the extra session which would have followed, with the evils which the country wouid have felt and by having its bus­ iness disturbed by Congress, and the uncertain­ ties of the result, you would have said : "All this haB come about because we did not have a man at the head of the Committee on Appro­ priations with nerve enough and force enough to carry his bill through by the end of the ses­ sion. The next time we have a Congress we had better see if we cannot get a man who will get his bills through." Suppose I had answered : "There"was that salary increase." "That won't do. You had shown your hand on the salary question ; you had protested against it, and you had done your duty." Then they would have said there were six or seven sections in the bill empowering the United States to bring the rail­ roads before the court and make them accoun for their extravagance. They would have said : "We have lost all that by the loss of this bill." And I would have been charged with acting in the interest of railroad corporations, and flight­ ing to kill the bill for that reason. But be that as it may, fellow-citizens, I considered the two alternatives as well as I could. 1 be­ lieved it would rouse a storm of indignation and ill-feeling throughout the country if that increase of salary passed. I believed it would result in greater evils if the whole failed and an extra session came on. For a lit­ tle while I was tempted to do what would rather be pleasing than what would be best in the long run. I believe that it required more courage to vcte as I voted than it would to have voted the other way, but I resolved to do what seemed to me right in the case, let the conse­ quences be what they would. I may have made a mistake in judgment--I blame no one for thinking so--but I did what I thought was the least bad of two courses. My subsequent conduct was consistent with my action on the bill. I did not myself parade the fact, but more than a year ago the New York Worbl published a list stating in chronological order the Senators and Representatives who covered their back­ pay into the treasury. My name was first on the list I now pause to inquire if any gentleman in the audience has any questions to ask touchiug this salary, or anything concerning it If they have, I shall be verv glad to hear it [The speaker here paused, but no questions hwng asked, he proceeded as follows:] If not, I pass to the subject my friend over yonder has seemed so anxious I should get to before I finished the last; and here I approach a question that in one sense is not a question at all, and in another sense it may be. I under- siand that several persons in the district are saying that Mr. Garfield has taken a fee for a so-called law opinion, but which, in fact, was something which he ought not to have done-- which was in reality & kind of fee for his official influence as h member of thA Committee on Appropriation; or, to speak more plainly, that I accepted pay for a aervice aa a kind of bribe, and that, too, in THE SO-CA1X.KD DJI Now I have tried to *nj, with the br >LYXJB PAVEMENT. in th«broade8t hrwwH ̂ 1 aak the attention of this audience for a few mo­ ments to the testimony. In the first place I want the audience to nnderaland that thecitv of Washington is governed, so far as its own improvements are concerned, l,v its own laws and own its people, just as much AS Warren has been governed by its own coporate laws and author­ ity. I remember perfectly well what has been paraded in the papers so" much of late that Congress has full power to legislate over the District of Columbia. Well, Congress has full jurisdiction over the ten miles square of what is now called the District of Columbia, and Congress could, I suppose, make all the 'police regulations for the city of Washington- but Congress always allowed thecitv of Washing­ ton to have its City Council or a Legisla­ ture until the present time. We have abolished it, because wo had a cum­ brous machine. In the year 1871 a law was passed by Congress creating the Board of Pub­ lic Works, appointing a Governor, and creating a Legislature for the District ol Columbia. That act stated what the Board of Public Works could and what the other branches of the Dis­ trict Government could do, and, among other things, it empowered the Legislature to levy taxes to make improvements on the streets. The Legislature met the Board of Public Works, laid upon them an elaborate plan for improving the streets of Washington, a plan amounting to $6,000,000 in the first place, and the Legislature accepted the plan, ana provided that the third of the entire cost of carrying out that plan should b® bv assessing the foot front on the property-holders, and the other two- thirds should lie paid by money to lie borrowed by the City Government: in other words, bv the issuing of those I>onds. The City Gov­ ernment of Washington borrowed monev and raised by special taxation enough to carry on a vast system of improvements. When they got ready to execute their plans one of the questions that came before them was, What kind of pavement shall be put in, and in what way shall we go about the business by letting our pavement contract? In order to settle that question they wrote to all the principal cities and found out all the methods pursued by them, and finally appointed four leading officers of the army : Gen. Humphrey, Chief Engineer; Gen. Meigs, Quartermaster Gen­ eral ; the Surgeon General; and Gen Babcock, of the Engineer Corps ; and those few men sat as an Advising Board, having no power but merely to advise. They took up all kinds of pavement ever made. Specimens were sent in. They looked over the whole, and, as a result, recommended this : We recommend you. in­ stead of letting this work to be done by the low­ est bidder, with all the scheming 'straw bids' that may come in, to fix a tariff of prices you will pay for different kinds of pavements, and we recommend as follows : If you put down concrete pavement, you had better say you will pay so much per square yard for putting it down. We have looked tho cities all over, and find that it is the proper amount to pay ; but for stone, so much ; for gravel, so much; for asphaltum, so much ; and for wood, so much." Now, that Board of Public Works adopted the plan and that schedule of prices, and, hav­ ing elected that, if they put these various kinds of pavements down, they would put them down at that rate, they then said to all comers, "Bring in your various kinds of pavements and show us their merits, and when we have examined them we will act." Then the various paving companies and pat­ entees all over the country who had what they called good pavements presented themselves; but in almost all cases through their attorneys, i They sent men there to represent the relative j merits of the pavements. A pavement com- I pany in Chicago employed Mr. Parsons, of Cleveland, as early as the mortth of April, 1872. i to go before the" Board of Public Works and I present the merits of their pavements. Mr. j Parsons had nothing whatever to do with the i question of prices ; they had already been set­ tled in advance by tne board. Mr. Parsons was Marshal of the Supreme Court at that time, aud was just about running for Congress. He asked the Chief Justice of the Umted States whether there waB any impropriety in his taking that case up and arguing it merely because he was an appointee and under his direction, and the Chief Justice responded there was none in the world. He proceeded with ihe case until the 8th day of Juue, when for the first time I heard anything about it. This was two days before the adjournment of Congress. On that day Mr. Parsons came to me and said he had an important case; he had worked a good deal oil it, but was called away. He must leave. He did not want to lose his fee in it--was likely to lose it unless the work was completed. He must go at any rate. He asked me if I would argue the case for him ; if I would examine into the merits of this pavement and make a state­ ment of it before tho Board. I said: " I will do it if I, on examination, find the patent is . it |wfjm tw to 1»" wrxxl-f>BT»- ment patent thore is ; but I can't do it until af­ ter Congress adjourns." Congress adjourned two days later. The papers were aent to me of patents, mod­ eled specimens, and documents showing where the pavements had been used. The investiga­ tion of the patents and the chemical analysis r..presenting all the elements of the pavement was a laborious task, and I worked at it as faith­ fully as anything I ever worked at I did it in open daylight I have never been able to un­ derstand how anybody has seen anything in that on which to base an attack on me. I say I a in to-day intellectually incapable of under­ standing the track of a man's mind who sees in tliis any ground for attacking me. I made the argument There were two patents con­ cerned in that pavement itself; there were some forty different wood pavements pro­ posed ; and to carefully and analytically ex­ amine all the relative merits of those was no small work. Mr. Parsons was to get a fee pro­ vided he was successful, and not any if he was not successful, and hence the sum offered was iarge--a contingent fee, as every lawyer knows. Now, I understand that it is said by some of thefie gentlemen that that was in some way or other with the United States treasury. How? That pavement was to be paid for by the city of Washington; one-third of it assessed directly on the property-holders, and paid for just as you pay for a pavement here in Warren ; and ihe rest has to lie paid by the city of Washing­ ton in money that it borrowed, and for whicn the citizens are ultimately to be taxed to pay. But I was Chairman of the Committee on Ap­ propriations, you say, and the House of Repre­ sentatives appropriated money for the District of Columbia. How ? Whenever a pave­ ment on any given street is laid in front of the United States Postoffioc, or tho Patent Office,, or Treasury, the Government of the United States, as a mere matter of decent justice, pays its proper pro­ portion in front of its own "buildings as any other piopertv-Jiolder would do, and that was all. Whatever was the legitimate, proper share of the United States to pay, it paid. Now, does anybody see in what possible way that fact made it in any way improper for me to practice my profession in a locatio \ when I was not needed in the public service ? But some one says : " The pavement was a bad one. It was a swindle. " Who told you that ? Why, a man that went to Washington to testify, and that ha 1 a different pavement Of his own ; ho was glad to say that the Do Golyer pavement was a bad one. Now. I want. you to understand, fellow-citi­ zens. that of the 156 miles of pavement in the city of Washington fifty-three miles of it only are wooden paveiuent, and of the fifty-three I miles of wooden pavement laid in Washington I there were 80,000 square yards of it only of the | De Golyer pavement. There are 1,005,000 I square yards of wooden pavement laid in Wash­ ington, "and 80.000 of it only was of this patent ! There are ten or twelve different kinds of wood- j en pavement in Washington, and only one- i twelfth of this is of this kind, and the price of I this pavement was fixed by a Board of Engin- 1 ters before Mr. Parsons or I had a word to say ! on the subject. It was only a question which ! of the two or three or ten pavements will you • adopt, and 1 am here to-aav to affirm that it is the best wood pavement that was ever laid. i Now, I do not believe much in wood pavements ' «s compared with concrete or some other forms ! of pavements, and this Board of Engineers ! recommended concrete in preference to wood, i But what were the facts? There were thirty- two different streets in Washington along which 1 the people petitioned to have wooden pavc- • rnent They preferred wood pavement. It was j cheaper than the asphaltum. They wanted ' wood pavement, and the American people gen- ! erallv believe in wood pavement and the ques- : tion "was, if the people want the wood pave- i ment and are determined to have it which I pavement shall we give them, the best or not , the best? j Now, I have before me here, what I had I when I made the argument, certificates from I Chicago, St. Louis, San Francisco and all the I other cities where the pavement was laid, that | it stood better than any wood pavement that ; had ever been laid, and in the renort of this | committee of investigation in Washington a i letter was received from the Board of Public ! Works of Chicago, dated Oct 31, 1874, in these words : "Since 1869 there have been laid here in Chicago 160,000 square yards of the De Gol- I Ver pavement, and thus far it stands well and ! is in good condition." There is twice as much i of that pavement in Chicago to-day as there is | in Washington. Now I will tell you another fact about it The testimony before this committee discloses the followingThat in the city of New Yorl they paid ££50 to $6.50 per square yard. In the cltv of Brooklyn they pay $5 per square yard, and in the city of Baltimore, for putting down Nicolson pavement (which is not so ex­ pensive), they paid #4 per square yard. Now, all the De Golyer pavement pat down in Wash­ ington was put, down at 63.50 per square yard under this tariff of prices fixed by the Board of Public Works upon the recommendation of the Board of Engineers. Well, now, fellow-citi- sens, who has raised this storm of criticism about the De Golyer pavement ? Who ? Early last winter several of us came to the conclu­ sion that the Board of Public Works was an expensive machine ; that it was costing the city of Washington too much ; that it was overload­ ing them with taxes, and that we were bound to pay too much money out of the treasury to keep up our end of the business. But we set on foot an inquiry into the cause of the large expendi­ ture, and a committee of investigation was ap­ pointed, and they have published some 1,900 pages of a report. They liave gone over the whole ground of the doings of that Board of Public Works and the City Government, and as a result of it we have abolished that form of government and had the President appoint Com­ missioners, and he has appointed Gov. Dennison, of our State, as one of them, to manage the af­ fairs of the District of Columbia until winter. That Committee of Investigation went over the whole ground of this business in Washington. # T,a? a committee that had Senator Thurman, of this State, on it for one; Judge Jewett, of Columbus, for another man, who is now Presi­ dent of tho Erie railroad, both of them Demo­ crats of the strongest stamp. We had on from uie House, as Chairman of that Committee, Judge W llson, of Indiana,, one of the strongest and ablest and best of our members, and they went over this ground most thoroughly and se­ verely. Mr. Parsons went before that com­ mittee and told them all he knew about this pavement; told them what he knew of its merits, and told them he and I argued that case. It was early in the session when he told them that Now, what has been said about that in Washington ? Don't you think some of the 100 Democrats would have been exceedingly willing to hit me a blow on the head if they had discovered anything in that to find fault with ? Tho committee made its report in full, and not only made no possible reflection on me, but when asked about it said there was nothing whatever in the case that reflected in the slight­ est degree upon Mr. Gartield. Now, in the midst of this tempest that was raised in the Painesville teapot a few weeks ago, the Hon. George W. Steele, of Painesville, wrote a letter to the committee who had charge of that in­ vestigation, and ho wrote back the following letter: * _ CoNNKitsviiA*, Ind., Aug. 1,1874. The Hon. George W. Steele-- DEAR SIB : TO the request for Information as to whether or not the action of Oen. Garfield in con­ nection with the affairs of the District of Columbia Wan the subject of condemnation by the commirtce that recently had those affairs under consideration, I answer that it wa» not, nor was there, in my opin­ ion, any evidence that would have warranted any un­ favorable criticism upon his conduct The facts disclosed by the evidence, so far as he Is concerned, are briefly these: The Board of Public Works was considering the question as to the kind of pavements that Bhould be laid. There was a contest as to the respective merits of variolic wooden pavement*. Mr. Parsons repre­ sented, as attorney, the De Golyer ft McCIellsiul j patents, and, being called away'from Washington about the time the hearing was to be had before the i Board of Public Works on this subject, procured I Gen. Garfield to appear before the board in hiB stead I and argue the merits of this patent. This he I did, and this was the whole of his connection | with the matter. It was not in question as to the j kind of contract that should be made, but as to i whether this particular pavement should be laid, j The criticism of the committee was not Upon the Eavemcnt in favor of which Gen. Gartield ar»nied, ut upon the contract with reference to it, and there j was no evidence which would warrant the conclusion I that he had anything to do with the latter. Very re- | spectfully, etc., JAMES WILSON. | Now, fellow-citizens, it is not pleasant for me j to be reading things of that sort concerning my- I self, that the man who had charge of the iii- I vestigation in the District of Columbia, tho man I who wrote the report on the part of the House, l who was tho Chairman of the committee, who | knows all the facts in regard to it says there | was nothing whatever in the case that in tho i slightest degree reflected on me. It is left tho | excessively virtuous Judge of the Probate Court ! of Painesville, and perhaps the Judge of the j Probate Court in Trumbull county, to discover j that this " De Golyer business " "was a fearful business on the part of Gen. Garfield. ! If there is any gentleman in this hall who has I any question to ask in regard to the De Golyer Eaveinent business, I should be very glad to ear it j Question--Was the appropriation for the pay- | ment for the pavements made before or after j it was accepted by the Loard ? I Gen. Garfield--I am very glad to answer that j question. By the first act of the Legislature of ; the District of Columbia no contract was to be j made, no work was to be donq. except upon ap- I -profn-tations already made. Congress nad aa- j journed. The appropriations for the District of ! Columbia were made before I touched or had | anything to do with this matter. It is true that ! the next year there were appropriations made ; for the District of Columbia, but the appropria- I tion that Congress made never had anything to , say about one pavement or another. Congress knew no more about the De Golyer pavement or any other pavement, than you in Warren did. ; It simply made the appropriation to pay fox ; paving in front of its own building, if it thought ; proper to do so, and that is all. i I understand Mr. Parsons was retained by j these parties in Chicago, and they paid him a ; retaining fee of $5,000 for his services, whethei | he succeeded or not And they were to pay ! him -1?10,000 as a contingent fee if he succeeded, i Mr. Parsons had done tne bulk of tho work. He ; came to me saying there were# 10,000 depending j upon his success, of which lie would pay me half in case I made the argument and was sticcess- i *fnl. I suppose that is a fair explanation. I un- , derstand some gentlemen think that is a largo | fee. Well, it is a large fee ; but it was nothing 1 for that. Either all that was done weut for | nothing, or else it would be more. I don't know i that tiiose gentlemen said it was a large fee I when Judge Trumbull made an argument in the ! Supreme Court and received $10,000 out of the United States treasury for it I Question--Gen. Garfield, allow me to ask you j one question : What question of law was sub- j mitted to you in that case? Was it a question ' of law, or a question of the difference between j the pavements? Gen. Garfield--There were questions both of | law and of merit In the first place, there were I forty-two different kinds of prvement present- I ed. If the Government took one, there might | be a question of conflicting patents--there might j be a patent lawsuit growing out of it--and I felt i it to be niv first duty to inquire whether the two | patents that extend into this pavement were | valid patents that could properly be sustained. I I made that examination as the very first step I j took in the case. I understand that the Board ; of Public Works Baid that they did not care j very much about that, on the ground that they Sro'bably would not pav a royalty in any case, iut the fact was that the contractor himself-- the owner of the patent--regarded it as a valu­ able franchise, and the validity of the patent was to him the first consideration. Now, where there are forty patents, or nearly that, concerned, it is of some importance to know the relative validity of the patents. If no further questions are to be asked, I will conclude with a few general questions on the whole subject. Nothing is more distasteful to me than to speak of my own work, but tliis discussion has been made* necessary by the per­ sistent misrepresentations of those who as­ sail me. During my long public service the relation be­ tween the people of this district and myself has been one of mutual confidence aud independ­ ence. I have tried to follow my own convictions of duty with little regard to personal conse­ quence", relying upon the intelligence and justice of the people for approval and support. I have sought to promote, not merely local and class interests, but the general good of tho whole country, believing that thereby I could honor the jxisition I hold and the district I represent. On the other hand, my constituents have given me the great support of their strong and intel­ ligent approval. They have not always ap­ proved my judgment or the wisdom of my pub­ lic acts, but they have sustained me because they knew I was earnestly following my convic­ tions of right and duty, and because thov did not want a representative to be tho mere echo of the public voice, but an intelligent and inde­ pendent judge on public questions. In all this I have relied upon the good sense and justice of the people to understand both my motives and the motives and efforts of my enemies. On some questions of public p. hey there have been differences between some of my constituents and myself. For instance, on tliis currency question I have followed what seemed to me to be the line of right and duty, and in that course I believe that the majority of the people of this district now concur. Whether right or wrong in opinions of this sort, I have believed it to be my duty to act in­ dependently and in accordance with the best light I could find. Fellow-citizens, I believe I have done my country aud you some service, and the only way I ran still continue thuB to serve you is bv en­ joying in a reasonable degree your confidence and support I am very grateful for the ex­ pression of confidence which you have again given me by choosing me a seventh time as your candidate. It was an expression which 1 have reason to believe was the result of your deliberate judgment, based on a full knowledge of my record, and it is all the more precious to me because it came after one of those storms of public feeling which sometimes sweep away the work of a lifetime. And now, in conclusion, if there is any ques­ tion or amrthiqg I have dii--».d, or that I have not which any gentleman de- .^r£rOIKTd' ^ ver* ̂ hut, no questions be­lt. _ . . ing asked, closed his remarks as follows : wank the audience for the verv patient tion with which they have honoreame. 'JJ. A Bashful Young1 Man's Escape. Some people never seem to get the Tight idea of the subject somehow. They were talking at McAllister's, the" other evening, of the sufferings of the poor people turned out of doors bv the re­ cent hurricanes in the Southern States when a bashful young man with a green necktie, who was silently squirming on a straight-backed chair in a corner, was asked how much exposure he thought it was possible for a human being to en­ sure. •'Exposure, mum? Yes, mum. Well, the most terrible instance of exposure I ever knew was something that happened to myself a few years ago." " Indeed!" said a young lady. " Tell us all about it." " Well, you must know, I had a great habit of walking out through the park and strolling on the beach near the Cliff Dim riTAf*** w X.TDIA r. mnuK, TiWS? > meadow*, half Mien > M through the arasMMi flMiiste' An idle youth in qtiet lay, While at hl« aide a bluo-eyed tmj Sat weaving with rach artful cam A dainty chain of d«W« fair. Hi* eyi* were closed in Hweet contents Her tiraagMg alone on mischief bent: 8be wonnd Uie chain* about bin heai And arntfl, and form, and o'ar hhu Ml he seemed but a bed. •'*•: Thf laughing eyea then opes flew, • -•>" And peered into the eyes of bine; Op ro«e his hands, and with a boum| The chain lay broken on the ground; The blue eyea flaahed w ith sudden And, pelting him with daisies white, . The vengeance in her eyes he read, 1 Aa haughtily the midget paid: "Young man, another time IH m.it# • A «ton6er chain you cannot break." The little witch! could it be true How well die spoke her dear heart kaS#f Tot, sure enough, around his heart She wove a chain he could not part. And if thin very day you pom Acriw the meadow's wavy grass Ton']] see the children of the twain A*#eaving each a daisy DAITIIU, Wis. V ^ i * PITH AND POINT. House. One Sunday morning, very I"" JM? ,"tT.eme «> conversation. "sTL, . do "I HAVE a great ear, a wonderful : tA A Al COCQV&" - donkey/ replied a bystander. " I RISE for information," said a mem­ ber of a legislative body. "Iam very glad to hear it," said a bystander; "up man needs it more." A KISS without a mustache is like heat to slip into the surf and take a bath, which, as there was no one around at that hour, I finally did Judge of my horror when I came out and found that the tide had risen and carried oft my clothes." "Ahem!" interrupted the hostess. " Won't--won't you try some chocolate,; without salt.--Spanish Pinvetb, Mr. Skidmore ?" j Always remember that, girls, and never " Thanks--in a minute--just as soon k\8s without the mustache; always hi-- as I finish my story. Yes, every stitch' ^ I had in the world was gone--everything i WHEN a young farmer's wife tn^n except a chest protector, and I was j fi»t boy's pants precisely as simple be- arced to walk into Van Ness avenue, j tore as behind, the father exclaimed; where I lived, with nothing but that be- "Goodness, he won't know whether lie tween me and the sneers of the heartless going to school or coming home ?'or}i: i TU teUyou how 1 managed. I PHTSICIAN (to Government clerk>-- just tied the pro-- " Well, what do you complain of?" €K But just here the ladies fainted, while C.--"Sleeplessness, doctor." Physician another, with great tact, sat down at the --"At what time do you go to bed?" piano and shrieked "Nancy Lee" at the G. C.--" Oh, I don't mean at night bat top of her lungs, under cover of which during office hours." the dead and wounded were carried off, j PBOFESSOB^" Can you multiply to- while the sincere but misguided young ! gether concrete numimr Z clw out into the hailjind are uncertain. Professor--" What will handed his hat.--San Franoiaco Pott. be the product of five apples multiplied by six potatoes ?" Pupil (triumphant­ ly)--" Hash!" GRANDMOTHER : " You are stupid, siJwT" me to Ideal Husbands. " I have been wondering," writes a correspondent of the Detroit Free „ - -- - Press, "if most girls ever expect to ^,,fc^' 'he dullest boy I ever find their ideal husbands. The stand- j ' ey : " ipu must not expect ard raised is so high, and so very few unc*er8tand things as quick as you do, attain to that degree of excellence, that' ^"r^her, because you don't have I fear were it adopted by all young' , ® trouble to get 'em through your ladies the i*ector's marriage fees would J ^ur". We very light, and, 4 like angel's visits, j IT is said that the deepest gorge in tite few and far between.' Almost all men j world has been discovered in Colorado, have their faults, which are perhaps not | We always had the impression that the realized or seen by the wife until after j biggest gorge in this country might be marriage; in fact, the very nature of [ witnessed at a railway station where courtship seems to make it impossible 1 the train stops " five minutes for din- that a full knowledge of character can ! ner." be acquired. A man, or woman for that j SUNDAY-SCHOOII scholar (to the teaeh- matter, as there is no material differ-1 er)--" Did you say that the hairs of my euce in human nature, ought at least j head were all numbered?" Teacher-- to behave well and show an amiable, "Yes, mv dear." Sunday-school schol- disposition at least once or twice a j ar--" Well, then " fpnllin" out a !>*«• week, on 'courting nights,' and they and presenting it) «rwhere?6 the number generally do. The only way I can j on that one ?" see is to know whether there is a simi- j «Ten dimeg make one dollar," said aaity of tastes, whether the stations in ; the schoolmaster. "Now go on, sir. life are equal, or nearly so. I don t ên dollars make one--what?" "They mean in ^nut of money, but m point of make one mi ht lad the8e family and education, for no matter how | wliej the bov: ^A t.h« , agreeable either party may seem, it should be remembered there are the as­ sociations which must be taken into ac­ count. How could a refined, educated woman be happy in her home life if her plied the boy; and the teacher, who hadn't got his last month's salary yet, concluded that the boy was about right. SCHOOL teacher to little boy whose father is a grocer--"Now, Jobnny, if husband's family and associations were \ y°.u^ father has a barrel of whisky con­ taining forty gallons, and one-fourth of it leaks out, how many gallons does he lose ?" Johnny--" He dou't lose none. He fills it up again, right off." AT a camp-meeting last summer ft' coarse and illiterate, although he might be all that was required ? Such connec­ tions cannot be ignored, nor can people be snubbed, and they are too old to learn better. The ties of early associa- ^ tions with family and friends ciuinot lie j erable sister began the hymn : severed with a word of mouth, and any | » My soul, he on thy guard; , ^ man or woman will resent a slight put, Teu thousand foo« arise.; upon their friends or relatives by the ; She began too high. "Ten thousand,** partner of their life, which must cause ! she screeched, and stopped. " Start twhappiness, and sooner or later a i her at five thousand! " cried a convert realization that a mistake has been ,- stock-broker present. mad®*" ' | Ax old Judge of the New York Su- ' preme Court, meeting a friend in a neighboring village, exclaimed: "Why, what are you doing here?" "I'm at work, trying to make an honest living," was the reply. ".Then you'll succeed,** said the Judge, "for you'll have no com­ petition." " ELDER, will you have a drink ol cider ?" inquired a farmer of an did Reserved Seats. In traveling, one meets with many selfish people ; among them countless : women wlio insist on monopolizing two , seats in a railway car under the pre- ' tense that one of them is engaged by an j attendant gentleman, supposedly in the I smoking-car for a brief* interval. We j saw two women of this sort rightly j jjerance man who was spending an even- served during a-slimmer trip. For fifty i i„g at his house. "Ah--hum--no, miles they succeeded in warding off; thank, ye," said the old mau ; " I never travelers who sought the shady side of j drink any iiquor of any kind--'specially the car, and the seat m front of them ; ci<jer . imti if you will call it apple- juice, I'll take a drop." was the convenient receptacle of their baggage. Finally, however, an uncouth- looking individual quickly removed the baggage and turned the Beat. The astonished ladies paused in their con­ versation to ?acli other and raised their hands as if in remonstrance, but it was ONE of the Iadv teachers in a public school, a few days since, was laboring with an urchin on the science of wmpla division. This is what came of it: " Now, Johnny, if you had an orange too late; the thing was quietly and j ^ch to, ^ your • 11 i- i i i.„.. t little sister, how much would you give quickly accomplished, and the two for- J w Q„ «< a J 45 eigners who were seated there seemed to understand no words or gestures. Public opinion, in that car, at least, sided with them. On another occasion, her?" Johnny--"A suck.' TBOY limes: "Will you be so kind, my little friend, as to tell your grand­ mother that the man who is taking the when our party entered a car, not a seat census would like to see her ? " said was available. One person was guard- \ census-taker to a miss of 7 summers, ing four, others one and two; the aisle ' ̂ little one hesitated a minute and. was uncomfortably crowded. "Tliis ! then replied : "Yes, sir! I'll tell- bar, way," said the conductor, " room in the * don't believe she has any. palace car for those who are standing." j A CALIFORNIA^ was speaking about The engaged Beats were at a discount J "a man with an iron jaw," when a mel- (plenty of room now), but the conductor • ancholy-looking man, just from the East, insisted that they should be retained by j exclaimed : "Ah, yes, I know what their occupants, and all were made com-1 that means. The wife from whom I fled fortable. " Do as you would be dene was a woman of ire an' jaw." The Cali- by," is a good rule when traveling as j fornians showed their sympathy |qr elsewhere. drinking at the stranger's expense. , ... , V . A LONDON tourist met a young woman ^ild Pigeons' >ests. goiu the ^ ̂ ̂ wafnot ^ One nesting of wild pigeons is about j usual, she was carrying her boots in her the same as another, and the first nest! hand, trudging along barefoot. " My you come to like the million others in i girl," he said, "is it customary for afi the vicinity. When these migratory ; the people in these parts to go bare- birds have mated, decidcd v.Y^ere to sei^ ! foot ? " " Pairtly they do," paid the tie and staked off their claim, they pre- ! girl, "and pairtly they their own ceed to construct about the slightest, business." nest tliat will hold an egg and a bird ' "WHAUBS are becoming numerous m " Three sticks and a feather" constitute j the ocean," says an exchange. We like about the material, according to one au- ! ft statement that gives the full facte as thority. The feather is often wanting, ; that one does. It relieves one of the but a few more sticks are generally add- ' suspicion that whales are becoming nu- ed. The nest is placed in the crotch of merous on the prairies, or that they are a tree, on t wo forked branches, or anv- < infesting the woods or hiding in cavea on where else in the tree where suitable j the mountains. People now know support can be found. Cedar trees ! along the river bottoms seem to be pre- I ferred, but when the nestings are large ! beech aud other trees are occupied. ; From half-a-dozen to fifty or sixty nests j are built in a tree, and only one egg is , I laid in each nest. to be on the lookout for whales. AN experienced matron The Capital Prize. Prayer of a pious Italian who is play­ ing 4-41-44 in the lottery of the mor­ row : " Kind Heaven, grant that I may win the capital prize, and I solemnly vow that I will give half of it to the poor. But if you have any doubts of my says: "A man will eat soggy biscuit twice a week without complaiut, when his best girl invites him out to tea. But after the girl becomes his wife, if there is the faintest indication of a touch of salens tus in them, the neighbors will think there is a district school out for recess by the racket he makes." " WELL, you'll own she's got a pretty fo< t, won't you ? " " Yes, Til grant m that; but it never made luUf as much of an impression on me as the old man*®.** ! honesty, distribute to the poor theii'j _^OT7S.° student--" Look! I half vn>irsi>lf and civH ma tii« second ; 1--iere half voorself, and give me the secoud! Therw is our drawing-muster's picture, prize." What do vou tliink of it ?" Om-. Oyn- ICKI party--'* Why, it surpasses every- SEVENTY-SIX years ago aLoekport man ; thing we have seen." Y. L. A. S. "In out his initials on the shell of a turtle, what do you think it ehutiv excels f* Last Thursday the same initials were ; C. P.--"Imbecility. It surely surpam- found at the'bottom ol a newspaper ar-1 es anything we have looked at in M tide. quality."