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J. VAN 8LYKE. EdKw and Pub*li«h«. MCHENRY, ILLINO^. 1 f i l L M J W l ! B E V I t l l . THE EAST. THE late Marshall O. Roberts, of New ork. leaves a fortune estimated at a^ont $15,- 000,000 The summer residence of Prof. Alexander Agassis, at Newport, built about five years ago, and never occupied, has been de- Btroyedby Are. the bearded that he has shaved iu his time no less than seven Presidents. The trouble is that som« sharper in Delaware, where ho lives, paid him a debt of about $300 in Confederate money, which, in his ignorance, he accepted and re­ ceipted for. supposing it wa» genuine legal tender. « ffofcmouu_ »• ' i,. THE Missouri Greenback State Xfen- tral Committee met at St. Louis last wock, and under authority given them by the Stata Con­ vention held some time ago, elected a full elec­ toral ticket for the State, with Andrew lioyal and O. H. Barker as electors-at-large, and adopted plans to push the Greenback campaign is* the State Chairman Harimm has declined the nomination to Congress from the Fourth district of Connecticut, because of his duties on the Democratic National Committee. DISPATCHBS of the 16th inst. from MBS. LYON, the bearded Portland, Me., say tho vote on Governor is so troraan. for many years traveling with Bar- close that the official returns will be required to nnm's ForepauKh's. and other shows, has just decide «bo is elected The Congressional del- num s, * orepaugu R, •» * ©Ration stands as follows: Reed, Republican, died at Syracuse, X. X. owwi re-elected iu the First district by 109 plurality; BOSTON'S celebration Of its ^OUTLL Fl Republican, re-t-lecled ill the Second .nnWmrv which occurred Sept 17, was i district by 1,800 majority ; Lindsay, Republican Hnniversaiy, wnicn oc v ^ th(! Third dl8tnct by 451 majority ; creditable in every respect. Th' - Ladd Fusionist. re-elected in the Fourth dis- crf sightseers, and the programme bv a reduced majority;'Murch, Fusionist, oat to the satisfaction of all. ^ re-elected in tlie Fifth district by from 1,000 A DISPATCH from Bridgeport, Ct., says to 1,500 majority. The Republicans have a that a terrible ex plosion occurred in a small good working majority in the legislature that a lernme ..... T. • The Missouri Republican Convention, in sea- wooden building occupied by the union Metal sjon at Louis, nominated the following lie Cartridge Company as a fulminating build- i can(julate.s for State offices : For Governor, jn<v Hituated some distance west of their main | CoL D p Dver ; Lieutenant Governor, Milo factory. At the time of the explosion Eve per- j B1#ir . secretary of State, J. C. Broadwell; eons were at work in the building, all of Auditor, L. A. Thomas; Treasurer, W. Q. whom were killed. The building was com- | x)nllr.u-yer; AttoriWy General, H. H. Hard- pietelv blown io atoms, and the debris blown a j jn. i> ,iiroad CommisHioiiev, Howard Barnes PASSING SMILES. creat distance. A small lake, some distance awav, was litorallv strewn with fragments of the buiidiwr. Two of the bodies were found in the lake, one with the head and arms gone A 15ft-HOUK race between men and haras was brought to a conclusion at Chicago last week. The first prize was taken by a (colored): Supreme Judge, J. E. C. Carnes ; Register of Lands, Adam Theis The Democrats of New Hampshire met in convention at Concord last week. Hon. Frank Jones was unanimously nominated for Gov­ ernor. Col. W. H. D. Cochrane, Joseph Good­ win and Jolm \V. Dodge were nominated for Railroad Commissioners, and G. B. Chandler and John C. Maulton were chosen Electors The Massachusetts Republican Convention re-, nest, and the hornets swarmed out at a lively rate, giving him a sharp recep­ tion. The farmer ran, wli»n it was the hired man's turn to quote Bcripture, which he did by the following : "Tho wise man foreteeth the evil and turneth aside, but the fool passath onand i»; punished.** v,i< --"» I Vy& ? Chicago Grain Elevators. Their aggregate capacity is 16,840,000 bushels; individual capacity from 90,000 to 2,000,000 bushels. They are in dif­ ferent parts of the city, but those at the disposal of the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy railroad give nearly one-third of the whole capacity. One of' the newest of them, Armour, Dole & Co. 's elevator I "D,"may be taken as what it is the | fashion to call a "representative" ele- f-vwtor. It certainly is a very fine one, j and should be seen by all inquiring vis- I itors. It was begun in 1875, is 386 feet j long, 100 feet wide, and 145 feet high, j required 5,000,000 feet of lumber in its : construction, and cost $350,000. One girl asked him wny lie didn't wear a i can easily obtain permission to inspect black instead of a light mustache. J it; and the superintendent will enlighten THE animal carries his tail at tho op- ' his ignorance, or increase and qualify posite extremity from his head; a man j his knowledge, as the case may be. He carries his tale "in his mouth. And thus j is conducted to a little " elevator" (here does many a man make both ends meet. ! is this confusion of names again; it is IT is learned from the Salt Lake Herald j « hat our English friends call a " lift"), that Galileo discovered Limberger cheese ! hoisted to the top floor. At one end floating through space in 1609, and made • sees swiftly passing.over a shaft, the an entrv in his diarv at the time that he i largest belt in the United States, 280 thought it in a very poor state of pre- I feet m length and eighty indies m width, serration. - Tn* person who does nothing is this world is Qy. ' MARRIAGE mokes the man--'-THE woman was maid before. ^ A WESTERN paper informs its readers that its candidate for Congress slings the most eloquent lip of man in the State. A DOWN-TOWN physician reports busi­ ness "terribly dull considering the state of the markets."--Kingston Freeman, THK farmer sowed the Kuli'fin grain* And sewed tho farmer's daughter; " With her ft charming episode, For soon she'd soda water. IT is said that Ohio wives do their own housework. Now, that is the kind of an no hire idea we like.---1 ankers , Statesman. ! HANCOCK'S father wanted him learn j the printer's trade. Had he dqje® so, in- : stead of being a West Pontile might ' have been a setter. ^ .* " 'Tis sweet to dye tgfr those we love," exclaimed a young man when his best •ounc man named Byrnes, the score at the I nominated Gov. Long and all the other State finish standing as follows : Men--Byrnes, 578 j officers, with the exception of Treasurer, whom w~. v mr /l.lCOfl . CaIiaaIi AOf) • I <t nx i . fw\m KnMinrr o miles; Krohne, 535; Colston. 529 ; Schoch. 420 ; Jackson, 203. Horses--Betsy Baker, 568 miles; Rose of Texas, 545: Bathman's entry, 527; Crockett, 525. THK last of a very successful engage­ ment in an artistic way is announced for this week. Palmer's Union Square Theater Company concluding their engagement at Haverly' Chi­ cago house, with the "Banker's Daughter as the play for the last week. Mr. Thome and all the other favorites of this strong and well-bal- anced company are in the cast C. W. WEST, of Cincinnati, has given •150,000 for the erection of an art museum in that city, upon condition that the citizens will raise an equal amount. THE number of hogs slaughtered and salted by Chicago packers from March 1 to SMITH says: "My wife, who has just read that * it takes a J apanese girl thir­ teen hours to dress for a party,' lias sent to Japan to know how she does it. She can't occupy more than four, for the life of her." As they were about to hang an Irish­ man in London, one of his friends who had come to witness the ceremony, cried: " I always told you you would come to this!" "And you have always lied ! I have not come--I was brought!" A GENTLEMAN who possessed an imita­ tion rat tobacco pouch, thought he would Governor Tho Greenback-Labor party I enj(w the nervous shock of a friend by i? Tv^°n ati H'^v' placing it where his friend's eye would see .ted Milford Shmde.1 and the L»oL i g 8ud(fenlv. He was much mortified when the friend"quietly took it up, helped him­ self, and then passed it about till the con­ tents were gone. the State constitution prohibits from holding a second term The Democrats of Dakota have nominated M. S. McCormick for Delegate to Congress. THE Prohibitionists of New Hamp­ shire have placed a full State ticket in the field, headed by George D. Hodge, of Hampton Falls, for ~ ~ •-- of inated Graves Electors-at-large. They also made the following Congressional nominations : Second district, E. A. Treadway ; Third district, J. H. W. Onion ; Fourth district, Samuel W. Pierce ; Fifth district, Oliver Bryan; Sixth district. Nathaniel Sener. THE official vote of Vermont for Gov­ ernor at the recent election foots up as follows: Farnham, Republican, 47,852 ; Phelps, Demo- Below him are great scales, and bins ( sixty feet deep. A fine and suggestive j dust gradually covers his clothes as he j listens to the polite cicerone, who is tell- I ing him that there are twenty-six stand- | ard Fairbanks scales in the building, and ! that they weigh so accurately that in ' all aggregate of six car-loads there was | only a shortage of thirty pounds be- : tween " St. Joe" and Chicago, But ! "look out for the engine when the bell rings." A train has come in below full ! of grain in bulk. Into a car goes a i great x/nite or nozzle ; somebody pulls a i lever, and, presto! away has gone that ! grain up into a weighing bin, then j down into another receptacle of pro- ! fluidity and security. It dawns on the | observer's mind that one man's property ! is by no means kept separate from an- | other man's. This grain is all graded by a State inspector; it is " weighed inr* AMUSEMENT NOTES. ^ • Annan is coming back next season for fnotz ker farewell tour. JOHN MOCULLOUOH is under engage­ ment to play at Drury Lane, London, next year, • MiSs NrcrtiSON uked this language in a farewell speech at Booth's Theater, not long since: "I am not only leaving friends, but happiness itself; the. skies can never again lie as bright as they have been to me here, nor flowers bloom, nor music sound any more." WHEW Adelina Patti was a little girl of ten years, she had a filial attachment for Ole Bull, whom she always called"Oley." He is quoted in the Washington Post as once saying that lie relied more on her criticism ol his playiug than upon that of any other judge, for the development of her musical powers, even at that early age, was marvelous. Mlfcs DICKINSON has written a four act comedy entitled, An American Girl, and Miss Fanny Davenport will person­ ate the heroine. The play Miss Dickin­ son wrote specially for Miss Davenport was a tragedy called Esther A mini, but the actress discovered that she was not suited to the leading part, nor it to her. MADAM PATTI'S recent arrival at Craigynose Castle, her new Welsh home, was greeted with fireworks and popular rejoicings which smacked somewhat to the taste of some careful operatic manager. Crowds of people cheered the Boman candles, and about the castle, in con­ spicuous places, appeared the names of Patti's favorite operas, quantities of flags, and the inscription: " God bless Adeline Patti." infinitely divisible ; trine extension into purfacas, surface into lines, lines info points, and points into infinitesimal frac tions of position, which compose the in­ finitude of space in a number which is formed by the involution of relatively infimte number to the seventh power." " A Most Respectable Jury." < The law provides for an ideal jury, that is, one which is not prejudiced for or against the prisoner. But in prac­ tice it is difficult to secure twelve men of "cold neutrality." All men are ALL SORTSk &W-1. CAUltottiHA girls prefer runaway riages. f A STOBTB in A stocking is the neare|i approach the Chicagoans have to mistle­ toe. .r A St. ' Lotns firm is building a steam­ boat for tlie exclusive use of its com­ mercial agents. | INOEUSOLL says: "Ton have got to j fight for everything thiatis good, and the ; work is never done." more or less influeiced by unconscious ! „ T™ prejudices, such as arm/ from birthi i that m tlus country professional beimt.* education, social position, or habits of j life, Lawyers know the power which sym­ pathy has over the judgment of men. In defending criminals, they not infre­ quently finesse to secure a * jury whose unconscious sympathies will be in favor of the prisoner. A. thief's counsel would not be grieved if he believed Shakspeare's words true of those trying his client: The jury, passing on the prisoner's life, May iu the sworn twelve have a thief or two Guiltier than him they try. An anecdote of a distinguished lawyer of Kentucky, the late John J. Critten­ den, sets forth tliis trick of advocacy. He had been retained to defend a man indicted for biting off another man's ear in a .fight. The trial came off before Judge Broadnax, a stately, high-toned gentleman, who dressed in short trous­ ers, silk stockings and top-boots. The Judge hated rowdyism, and, though a warm admirer of Mr. Crittenden, often chided him for taking fees of low rascals are crowded out by amateurs. THEBE are two distinct kinds of bom in this world--the human boy and. tne- boy who exists in Sunday-school books. DUBINO the past twenty-five years, sixty persona have gone over the Ni­ agara Falls, and been washed into eter­ nity. THE people of the United States con­ sume more coffee than those of any other country -- some 333,000,000 pounds yearly. A SCIENTIFIC man will study all day- over a poor little worm's work, when he might get at the hole tiling in g. nutshell by eating a few chincapins. THOSE troubled with flatulent dys­ pepsia may do well to replace the sugar in their tea and coffee with glycerine---a teaspoouful or two to sweeten it. CORSETS are said to have originated from an iron waistband, in which tryan- nical husbands in the early history of" the human family encased their wives. COLORE!; BOB INGERSOLL says that when a man smokes or chews he should confess the fault to his intend**! wife, who habitually engaged in brawls. After much sparring between the court JOHN T. RAYMOND, the actor, says of j and State's Attorney and the prisoner's ; and if after that she accepts him, he his experience in London: " The people | counsel, eleven jurymen wtre obtained, j " has the dead wood on her." I met were most delightful. They re- j Many respectable men had been reject- i CRYSTALIZED water or ice has hitherto- ceived us cordially, and treated us splen- j ed by Mr. Crittenden, a fact which had j furnished the only good surface for skat- exasperated the Judge. An ill-looking ; ing> But by a mixture of a carbonate fellow, with a tattered straw hat, a piece and sulphate of soda an Englishman has of his nose torn off, and a bruised face, j been able to make a new skating surface was brought up to be sworn in as the twelfth juryman. Mr. Crittenden asked him a few ques- didlv--as individuals--but they couldn't stand our play, The, Gilded A(/e. The fact is, they couldn't understand it* Of course, the character of Colonel Sellers was plain enough, and they laughed at it. The Colonel's speculations took enorm­ ously, but all the localism of tho play fell ! tions, and then coolly said : "WILLIAM, you have again come up j and " weighed out," and all that is need- unprepared!" "Yes, sir." "But from < ful is that the contents of each bin what cause?" "Tiftrinfiss. sir." "John- I should be homocreneous. But here Sept 14 was 2,359,000, against 1,481,000 for the j crat, 21,240 ; Prohibition, 1,579; Farnham's corresponding period last year Hall, the | majority, 25,033. Laziness, sir." "John- should be homogeneous. But here son, give William a good mark for up- , comes another train--empty cars to be tightness." " Bates, you proceed." "I filled for defaulting treasurer of Lucas county, Ohio, has returned to Toledo to settle up his business affairs. It is said that his assets are more than sufficient to cover the deficit.... A block of buildings on Fourth street. St* Louis, has been burned. Loss estimated at §200,000... .The people of St. Louis are clamoring loudly for a new enumeration of the census of the city, claiming that the first count was a false one. THE village of Waitesburg, Wash. Ter., has been almost completely destroyed by | VORBICIR. j THE Queen of Spain has been safely ! defivered of a daughter. Both are doing well | The French expedition up the Niger river, i in Africa, met with a repulse in Barbary. Capt. ! Gallieni's force was attacked by 1,000 fierce i natives, and after several hours' hard fighting i the French retreated with a loss of fourteen i killed, eleven wounded, and all their baggage 1 captured. Thev returned to the coast, refitted, and . . _ _ have started bv another route to try their luck fiie Mav Clarke 13 years of age, has been i once more A serious insurrection lias broken , ,T ' . ' ru „ rr„- ' out at Herat, in Afghanistan, and the Governor held to bail at Lancaster, Ohio, for arson. Two : mTm|ere<i Four persons were of her playmates allege that she set a barn on flre Gen. Busbrod Johnson, a well-known Confederate General, died recently at his farm in Macoupin county, 111. A DUEL between a Ute and a Navajo occurred recently near Santa Fe. Their quar­ rel was about t- squaw, and they fought with knives. The Ute was killed. Isr a trot against time, at Chicago, Maud 8. covered a mile in 2:11% Two large cranberry warehouses, well stocked with the fruit, owned by Carey Brothers, at Berlin, Wis., have been destroyed "by fire. killed and thirty wounded by a railway collision near Loudon. AN unsuccessful attempt was recently made to blow up a railway train near London with dynamite Prince Bismarck has aban­ doned the project of a bi-metaUic system Politics in France are in a chronic state of un­ certainty. De Freycinet, the Premier, and Gambetta are far from friendly, and changes in the Ministry are considered probable The Mark Lane Express, in its last review of the foreign grain trade, reports the wheat harvest nearly completed in most English counties. _ . * , , , I The crop has proved generally disappointing, _ THE remains of a mastodon nave been i considerable portion of the grain being blighted unearthed at Paw Paw, III A negro named j and the yield having been overestimated. George Mitchell was hanged at Troy, Ohio, last j THE new Finance Minister of Russia, week for wife-murder Nine men were in- ! M. Bunge, is said to have found the finances sb stantly killed m the shaft of the Consolidated : ^organized and incrusted with defalcations Imperial mine at Virginia City, Nev. They were • 6 o. o , .. r . being raised to the surface in the cage when the i that Gen. Melikoff has advised the Czar to cable broke, precipitating them to the bottom,, * distance of 300 feet. Their bodies were ter­ ribly mangled. TH> MOTH. SOUTHERN papers chronicle the death, at Ha home in Clarksville, Tenn., of Hon. Gus- tavus A. Henry, an old-time Whig leader in that State. He was a member of the Balti­ more Convention which nominated Bell and Everett; he ran for the Governorship of Tennessee in 1853 against Andrew Johnson, but was defeated; was a member of the Con­ federate Senate, and one of the con­ fidential advisers of Jefferson Davis. His elo- rnce and clear, ringing voice won for him title of the " Eagle Orator of Tennessee. The 150th anniversary of the founding of j Baltimore will be celebrated in grand style by the people of that city on the lltn of October. I THE young man, De Jarnette, who lulled his sister at Danville, Va., has been sen­ tenced to death. Two CONVICTS belonging to a gang working on the railroad near Mount Sterling, Xj-, went into the woods, in charge of a keeper, to cut poles. When well in the thicket the pris­ oners turned their attention to their guard, chopped him to death, and escaped In a shooting affair at Buffalo Springs, Tex., 3. T. Lamb received twelve buckshot in his per­ son. George Edwards five, Col. Youug four, MM Press Chandler was shot in the head. All the wounded axe in a critical condition. Mal­ treatment of a hog was the origin of the diffi­ culty. *" A BAILBOAD company, known as the -Chicago, Texas Mexican Central has been chartered at Dallas. Texas, with a capital of •7,000,000, to construct a road from the Itio Grande northward to some point where connec­ tions can be made for Chicago... .The town of Columbia, Brazoria county, Texas, has been al­ most destroyed by fire. Loss estimated at •150,000. A LAWIIB named William Means, at Pocahontas, Ark., entered the store of Charles Nichols, purcheaed a revolver, and, going to where Nichols was sitttng, shot him dead with­ out a word. •ENEBAU THS island of Dominica, in the West Indies, was rained upon in torrents for four days and nights, while high winds swept the aea upon it, with the result of almost total sub mersion, and the destruction of crops. No loss of life is reported Nothing so dangerous, and RO difficult of detection, as the current tioo counterfeit note has ever been known m America. The plate is so arranged that it CM* be adj j»t«d to suit the issue of any national hank. Thw makes discovery of the fraud almost impossible, except at the treasury, and there, strange to say, the cheat can only be proven by the superiority of the workmanship expended upon it. THE Catholic Archbishop of Quebec issued a pastoral letter, deploring the emi- appoint a commission to investigate the de­ partment A St. Petersburg dispatch states that a political prisoner, confined five months, recently hanged himself. Before he died he disclosed the names of the Nihilist leaders, and that of the author of the Winter Palace explosion It is announced that Dean Stanley will pay a final visit to the United States m 1881 in company with Thomas Hughes. The visit will be of a special character, for the pur­ pose of investigating the church question in the United States. A CABLE dispatch of the 16th inst. says: '"Telegrams from Rigusa say the A1 banians continue resolutely to oppose the ces­ sion of Dulcigno, and are hastening thither en masse. It is asserted that they have resolved I to kill Biza Pasha, who is at Katerkol with ouly 11,500 men. The Albanians have forwarded a fresh threatening address to the Porte.' ' DISPATCHES from South America state that there is a prospect of peace between Chili aud Peru. England, France and Italy are said to have convinced its conquests have- States Minister Cliristiancy is now at Arica, where he will meet certain high Ch.lian officials to discuss proposals for peace. have not prepared, too, sir." " But why i not?" " From laziness, sir." "Johnson, j give Bates a bad mark for plagiarism!" j THE young Positivists are multiplying. Passing a group of children the other I evening, we heard a little girl of a dramatic I turn of mind remark to a little boy per­ suasively, " Now, you are a bad angel, aren't you?" "No," was the dogmatic rejoinder, " I ain't a bad angel aud i ain't a good angel. There's no such things as angels, anyway." A BACKWOODS preacher once elucidated as follows in connection with the parable of the virgins: "Iu ancient times, my beloved hearers, it was the custom, after a couple had been married, for ten virgins to go out with lighted lamps and meet 'em on tlie way home, five of these virgins being males and five females."-- Huffcilo Express. JONES is proud of his wife, and with reason, for Mrs. Jones is pretty as well as smart. She was lecturing on temper­ ance reform, aud got naturally worked up as she rehearsed the many things that should be done, but which nobody •eemed ready to do. "Oh demf* Ac exclaimed, " I wish I were a man!" " I object!" exclaimed Jones, rising from his seat. It brought down tlie house. WK'VK often beard tell how the great an-1 the good Georae 'gan his career with a hatchet; And, since when a boy, about three-ten we stood. W e've looked for a yarn that would match U, the East. Men wanted, with shovels, to laboriously handle the grain? Not at all. Down comes that shute again ; boards are put across the doorways of the cars, and in one of them after another the grain runs up foot by foot, In less time than any one would think possible--a few minutes to each car--the train is entirely loaded, its doors are closed, and the engine is drawing it out again, to ibe delivered to one of the Eastern trunk lines.--A. A. Hayes, Jr., in Harper's Magazine. Quietly Caught. Parisian justice, once on tlie track ol a criminal, is almost as inevitable as fate A letter from the French capital ( i ecnniaril it is now aemonstrated illustrates the ingenious Potion ol the , ^ be\.e .isk/ioell gage liim. We can fiat. When the stove fell down, in the third act, it all went for nothing. Tlie audience didn't see anything funny in that. On the other hand the trial scene, which we consider rather ordinary, was one of the few redeeming features of the play in the eyes of the Londoners. They were almost willing to regard that much of it as a success." WE pity Mr. Emmet as much as we blame him. With some men the craving for liquor is a disease. The passion to get at it is stronger than anything else within them. It is a species of dementia. Emmet is really not responsible for his actions. With the best resolutions, he can not resist tlie smell nor the sight of liquor. But, true as this is, it is never­ theless, in his position, little less than a crime. He entails not only loss of money upon managers, but loss of prestige. It does not pay a manager to have his house closed in this way, and merely have Mr. Emmet make up the actual losses brought about by him. He is booked over the country for the season, but, attractive as ' Well, Judge, rather than be the cause of any more delay, I'll take this man." "I knew it!" exclaimed the angry Judge, springing to his feet. " Yes, I knew it! The moment I laid eyes on the fellow, I knew you would accept liim ! Did any living man," he con- which can be easily made and repaired. As old bachelor out West, who years agone was jilted by a woman, became such a woman hater that before he died, recently, he ordered that none of the fe­ male sex be permitted to attend his funeral. It was a terrible, ra^toge.-- Norrhtotvn Herald. JOAQTTIN MILLER looks tamer than he used to. His liaii' is no longer spreading over liis coat collar, and his costume is quieter than it used to be. But he has tinued, looking contemptuously at the | ^ loom dream a "t of old aud mrv-linv " ever see such a jury be- - h . .1 could Say he closed, like she, And we've got it at last--we thought that we would-- A h°n 'gins her life with a hatch, yet She discounteth George, for sure there's aojpnc ith a hatchet. --Oil City Derrick. \ CULTURE.--She--"Of course you went to Monsieur Kenan's lecture on Marcus Aurelius?" He--"No, I didn't. Who's Marcus Aurelius?" She--"Why, a Roman Emperor, to be sure, and a stoic!" He--"Haw--what's a stoic?" She--"A stoic? Well, at all events, j Marcus Aurelius was one--at least he didn't go so far as most stoics." He-- " Didn't he? How far do they go?" Slio ' "What a ridiculous question!" [Col- j lapse of conversation. ] ' "OUR hearts, our thoughts, our very 'dfth'e*first-named*nation^ that I beings grow tender with age," said the ve gone far enough, and United ' pastor, thoughtfully. les, said the new boarder, with a passionate gleam of intelligence in liis mild, blue eyes, "but then we are not henB." Nobody laughed very much except the landlady. She seemed to enjoy it immensely, but when the pudding was brought in it was noticed that the new boarder got all the crust and none of the "dope," so it was generally thought that Mrs. McKerre! had dissembled. " Keep GittlnV " My friends," said Plato Johnson, in one of his oratorical moods' " de worl' am so constertuted dat while dar am jest Ixmt 'nuff for everybody who is willin' to work, dar ain't a morsel left fur de man who sits under de trees an' 'spects de apple to fall in his monf. " Now, I's studied apples all mv days, an* I neber knew one dat wouldn t hang onto de limb until it was shook down-- dat is, ob course, a sound, sensible ap­ ple. " Don't stan' roun* de corner ob de street wid a wild expectation dat the man who libs dar is goin' to come out on de cold sidewalk an' ask you to be his son- in-law. " I've seen many a man loafin' 'roun' Forty-second Street Depot as though he felt sure dat if he stayed dar long 'nuff Mr. Yanderbilt would come out an' hand him a check of one million dollars, an' say, ' Young man, take dis small pile an' be happy,' To Encourage Agriculture. The Lime-Kiln Club Committee on Agriculture reported that all space want- detective system in that city. No rogue, French or foreign, can know but that an officer is concealed under the coat of the first servant who waits on him. A young man, dressed in the height of fashion, came with all the other trav­ elers out of the train which had just reached Paris from Brussels. He had scarcely quitted the car when he was ac­ costed oourteowly f , * < " Do you wish a porter, sir?" " The very thing I was looking for. Will you take this valise, and show me the way to Hotel de la Roumania, Boulevard St. Michel? As this is my first visit to Paris, I prefer going there on foot." " At your service, sir." On they trugded. When they nad crossed Pont St. Michel, the porter, in­ stead of the following du Palais, turned to the left, went down Quai de l'Horol- ; oge, and entered the Prefecture of Po­ lice. He said to the owner of the valise, "I am going to introduce you to the master of the house," as he ushered him into the office of the head detective. The latter 110 sooner laid eyes on the stranger than he said, " Why, good-day, Mons. Vanwater. You have just come from Antwerp, where yott stole a large sum of money. You have already spent j five years in jail for a similar crime. What on earth possessed you to want to put up at the Hotel de la Roumania, j where lodgings are dear, when you knew I uad a chamber at your disposal for which I should not charge 1 cent ?" The thief was put in a cell until the legal papers to warrant his extradition reached Paris. It is well said, "The law has a long arm." Goats as Churnerg. The most striking feature of the dairy ranch of F. S. Clough, in San Mateo canon, is the new dairy house which Mr. Clougli recently completed at a cost of $1,500. It is 18x36 in ground dimen­ sions, finished externally in rustic style, and inside is as trim and cleanTy as the ed by the club at the State fair thrifty housewife's "best room." The could be secured, and recommended that the members bestir themselves on the matter of entries. After considera­ ble discussion it was resolved to offer premiums as follows in the name of the club : 1. For the largest watermelon grown I in a cornfield eighty rods from a house, i a prize of a wheelbarrow with red lian- j dies. Exhibitors must make affidavit i that they did not set a watch on the I melon-patch. In case no colored man I lived within two miles of the cornfield, I the exhibit will ifot count. " No";' de better way am to git your ! tlie biggest 'possum grown in Afived on something an' den keep i th« S^te, a pme of 50 cents in cash. 3. For the best lot of ten dogs owned eye fixed on something, an' den keep movin'. keep niovin'. De whole philos- , , , „ ... c, , ophy of life is in de little words, « Keep i ^ colored family m the State, ' anA nftor awhile von are sbo' to ! » VnzG a grindstone making forty-gittin',' and after awhile you are sho' to j fin' yourself somewliar." ^ration which is now going on from that prov- Dizzy Heights. A French journal contains the follow­ ing statement of the height of the differ­ ent highest spires and monuments on to the United States. ~ ̂ MRS. OLIVER JOLT and her three 1 Towers of the Cathedral of Cologne... 4H0 Spite of the Cathedral at Rouen Tower of St. Nicholas, Hamburg Cupola of St. Peter's nt Rome Spire ol Strasbourg Cathedral 42G children were drowned by the upsetting of a boat on the St Lawrence river, at Berthier, ! Quebec. Two men and womeu were saved by ranging to the boat. A VKSBKL from Port de Paix, Hayti, |||s been towed into New York harboî the Wftole crew being sick with yellow fever Two vessel Captains, just returned to Gloucester, Ibtss., from the coast of New Found- luid, report that their boats were fcparded by a large number of natives, who violence to prevent their fishing.... The shipment of live stock from the United B^atee to Europe, which was begun a few years i#o as an experiment, has been so successful that it now exceeds the shipments of dressed Meats. Laat year 105,324 head of cattle were Wnt, over, so far this year 118,000 head have n sent, amounting'in value to nearly #&5.000,000. WASHlIfOTOn* AN aged colored man has appealed to freuotor GiliiU&n in a matter in which he is at • kwato know how be can render anyassist- jjflaoe. Tlie negro h--oa his claim upon the fact Pyramid of Cheops 411 Cathedral of St. Stephen's, Vienna St. Martin's, LandftliiiJ, Bavaria 39i> Cathedral of Fribourx, Baden 373 Spire of the Cathedral of Antwerp 370 Dome of St. Marj V, Florence St. Paul's, at London Dome of the Cathedral at Milan Cathedral of M.i«dt;bo«rg Tower of Rathtiatis, Benin Trinity Church, N.'W York The Pantheon, at 1'arig Hotre Danic, at I'aris The Washington monument is to be four revolutions per minute. 4. For a dozen fowls which have roosted each night for six months in a hen-coop not guarded by a bear-trap, alarm-bell, spring-gun or other device to prevent a full and fair investigation of their manner of roosting, a prize of a photograph of an ice-house containing fifty tons of ice. Later on several other premiums will urg 433 j probably be offered, and the club in- ,• ^ tends to offer a prize for the best speci men of frescoing on a board fence with a whitewash brush, competition open to the world.--Detroit Free Press. Scripture Practically Applied. Many years ago, when the mowing on the farm was done with a scythe, Farmer A. and his liired man were mow­ ing together in the field. The hired man was ahead when he discovered that he was in close proximity to a large nest of hornets. He advanced as far as he thought was prudent, and jumped from his swath and ran away. Farmer A., imagining that the hired man was ...347 . ..334 327 ...311 .. .2(54 ...258 ...240 ,...204 ....60(1 UK. KINOHT'H Health Journal says that 30 or 40 grains* of chloral hydrate powdered and dissolved in a gill of water makes an excellent lotion for papulous eruption of the skin attended with se- frightened at nothing, stepped into his vere itching. A piece of rag^Wet with the same solution and applied to burns and scalds will instantly allay the pain and prevent blistering.--Dr. Foote's Health Monthly. swath with this scriptural quotation : I " The wicked flee when no man pur- jsuetli, but the righteous are bold as a jlioij," and moved ahead. Two or three ' strokes brought him in contact with the butter-room, an apartment 10x15 feet in dimensions, is as inviting as a parlor. The apparatus for handling tlie milk and making the butter is complete in every detail, and is designed throughout for the saving of labor. The churn holds fifty-two gallons of cream, and turns out from 100 to 120 pounds of butter at each churning. It is worked by goat power, the appliances lieiug a treading-wheel eighteen feet in diameter, which connects with and operates a shaft running into the dairy house, and this in turn con­ necting with oog-wlieels working the dashers. Mr. Clough says that the goats in operating the wheel indulge their natural propensities for climbing, and they apply themselves to the work with great gusto. The herd consists of some eight or ten animals, ranging from the grandmother and old "Billy" with the whiskers down to the youngling not over a foot high. When released from their pens, they one and all, great and small, run bleating for the wheel, and the only trouble to contend with there­ after is the excess of power which they are apt to give it in the course of their frolicsome gambols.--Ja>s Angeles (Cal.) Express. The Work of the Thrifty. The world has always been divided into two classes--those who have saved, and those who have spent--the thrifty aud extravagant. Tlie building of all the houses, the mills, the bridges, and the ships, and the accomplishment of all other great works which have rendered man civilized and happy, have been done by the savers, the thrifty; and those who have wasted their resources have always been their slaves. It has been the law of nature that this should be so. The Salad. "Very gritty, this salad," said one friend to another, when they were dining together; "Don't you find it sp ?" "Gritty," repeated the other, "gritty ! Why, 1 call it a gravel path'with only a few weeds on it! " » see no way for managers to do but to in­ sert a penalty clause in their contracts with Mr. Einmet, by which he should pay a good round sum indemnity when­ ever he closes up a house.--Cincinnati Commercial. FRANASQUE SARCET, the French critic, is something of a Boswell. He is giving all soyts of details of Sara Bernhardt. Here is the latest rrum hMr pen. *iTlrw Prince of Wales came the other night between the acts to pay his compliments to Mile. Bernhardt. He was accompanied by the King of Greece, whom he pre- I sented to the actress. 'My botlier-iu- ! law,' said he to her. Mile. Bernhardt j bowed her acknowledgments, and while the Prince went to congratulate the other actors she remained in a tete-a-tete with the King; but she was not aware that she was taking to a King. She called him 'Monsieur' all the time, and talked right and left in her usual cavalier style. But time pressed and she had to return to the dressing-room. 'Well,' said her colleagues to her, 'what do you think of the King of Greece?' 'What do you mean--what King of Greece?' she inquired. 'The King of Greece with whom you have just been talking,' was the reply. 'What! it was not the King of Greece! it was a King!' and away she ran down stairs to see the Prince of Wales. 'Ah! Prince,' she exclaimed, 'it was treachery on your part not to tell me it was the King of Greece.' 'But I told you it was my brother-in-law,' an­ swered his Royal Highness, to which the actress rejoined, 'Your brother-in-law! But how was I to know? It might have bflpn a tallow merchant!' And away she datted back to the dressing-room, leav- ingtlie Prince non-plussed. You may tlii^k the English have been shocked at this Nothing of the kind; they forgivj eveiything in this spoiled child." j Bible Revision. Cdacerning the revision of the Bible the Christian Union says : "The work is randly drawing to a close. We may expec\ the issue at the end of this year or thi beginning of the next. The Vistament will be published ilf. The Old Testament can- ^roperlv, be issued before [wing to its greater bulk, mid indulge in predictions we jury-box, fore ?" | "Why, your Honor," quietly replied ! Mr. Crittenden, "I pronounce this a ; most respectable jury." 1 Of course, after the Judge's speech, , the prisoner's case was decided. Hie j jury went through the' formality of a ; trial, and brought in a verdict--" Not j guilty." Their prejudices and their ir- ! ritation, excited by the Judge's con- ! tempt, were too active for them to ren- j der a verdict according to law and evi- ! deuce. ! Hints to the Consumptive. . The diet of the consumptive should be . simple and nutritious ; very strict rules as to special articles of diet are uncalled for, unless the stomach should have ex­ hibited unusual signs of imperfect pow­ er. Meat should be taken once or twice a day, with a good allowance of fat. Fish is nutritious, especially oysters. Milk is very nutritious, and two or three pints may be taken in the course of the day. At the Hospital for Consumption at Brompton many of the patients have a glass of rum aaid milk.t t,Ue first thing in. tlie morning, before breakfast, to help them to dress, and undoubtedly it often does good. Asses' milk may be taken when ordinary milk disagrees. Another favorite prescription is fat bacon for breakfast. Sugar is very fattening, and there is no objection to taking it even in considerable quantities. A moderate allowance of wine or spirits is advisable, but it should be taken with caution when it flushes the face or quickens the pulse. Moderate and frequent exercise iu the open air is essential. We do know that now and again it is very essential to " change the airbut we consider that to do that with any chance of advantage it is necessary to go far afield ; and we think also that such change of the air is only needful when sickness of the body has come upon us, or when it threatens to come. When nothing else can be done, sitting out in the open air should always be insisted on--in a garden, on a balcony, or even at an open window. he is one who cannot pass unnoticed along the busy streets. AN English curate happened recently to preach on the wages of sin and to< make some uncomplimentary references to the Prodigal Son. A young scape­ grace in ttl'e congregation fancied that the sermon was aimed at himself. He horsewhipped the curate the next day. WE are pleased to learn that sealskin dolmans, forty to fifty-two inches long, trimmed with hair in beaver, about seven inches deep, will be the fashion­ able thing iu furs this winter, and will retail at $500. We were afraid they were going to be dear.--NorHstoivn Herald. A FATHER gave unto his son $1,000, and the latter went to Chicago to enter- business. In six days he returned with­ out a cent. "You found the Chicago- people pretty smart, didn't you, Peter?" said the old gentleman. " Yes," replied the son; "but what you call pretty smart in Chicago, we call d--n mean here." IT is related that the Chinese women about the year 1200 attempted a rebellion, whereupon laws were passed that girl babies should have' their feet bandaged to prevent their growth, .[n this way it was proposed to thwart all future re­ bellions on the part of women! For any­ thing like positive action good under­ standings are quite requisite. THE Norwich Bulletin says: A violin­ ist in this city has a fiddle manufactured in 1615, which under his skillful manip­ ulation still imitates with thrilling effect the voices of nature, and sends forth soul-inspiring melodies. How many hands have commanded its magic tones, or how many feet tripped to its music in the past two centuries and a half no one- ; will ever know. t Heard in Mid-Channel. Robinson--"You have seen more of , the world than most people, Mrs. I Smart. Now, where have you met the i handsomest, pleasantest, and best-bred people?" Fair American--" Well, among i -a London Punch'. If we s should lkely say that prejudiced minds will obj«t to many changes that will be found, I Cleanse some familiar phrases, like ' Helvho now lettetli will let,' will (we douli not) be rubbed out, and some­ thing beter inserted. But thoughtful persons, ad those who desire the mean­ ing of theGreek original, cannot but bo pleased wui a translation in which forty- one Greek^eholars of all Christian creeds are agreed^ We are not afraid that in : style any iore than in translation these : forty-one i»n will go astray and shock 1 the Protesttit world. These men know | what is god[ English, and what is di nii- ! tied English They love the old En- j glish Biblefes much as Bishop Coxe i does, and tfey will see that it is not | roughly treied. Our advice, then, is i to keep quieltill the revised version ap- | pears, mid tlin let us examine it, not in | the light of or prejudices, but in the ! light of a scnlarly common sense. All ! attempts nowyj say what it is, or to as- j sail it, are premature. Our own writing | is merely to saw that we have reason to | expect the be^" f A Dettition of Space. j Tlie Rev. }f.L. Gear gives, in an ar- j tide entitled "Vhe Concept ot Space," I published in th Cincinnati Baptist He- j view, the follo^tig definition of space : i "Space is a real objective, immaterial, j extended, contitious, infinite, immut- i able, external ail absolute whole of ca- ! pacity to r^c^i* extended substance, j existing in Hue extension of i infinite length, infinite breadth and | infinite depth, wfch is ideally divisible j in each dimensuoanto finite wholes of i locality, of all preible forms and sizes, possessing the nations of similarity, difference, ratio,! direction, distance, contiguity and eoinnctibility ; and com­ prising units of ine, extension, sur­ faces. lines and poks, each of which is Anything is better than remaining shut your British aristocracy. Robinson up in the same room from morning to "Indeed! That is most gratifying to night. We heard of a man who, on be- my pride as an Englishman ! And ing told that riding was beneficial, lured where have you encountered--a--the a horse and galloped about till he was : ugliest and most offensive ^ specimens of so exhausted that he did not recover for : humanity ? " Fair American--" Well, a fortnight. Exercise should be carried ; among your British aristocracy ! to a point short of producing fatigue. In ordinary cases of consumption there is not the slightest occasion for the pa­ tient to keep his room, but still it is very important that the sleeping apart­ ment should be properly ventilated. The great thing is to get as much pure air as possible consistent with warmth and the absence of draughts. Only a moderate temperature should be permit­ ted, so that when in bed the patient does not feci cold. In summer, good ventilation should be secured by letting down the windows for an inch or so at the top. At the Hospital for Consump­ tion at Brompton the wards and galleries are kept, winter and summer, at a uni­ form temperature of a little over 60deg. The policy of this system is open to question, and, in the opinion of many competent judges, the patients would do better if the temperature were con­ siderably reduced.--Family Physician. Jones. " I don't like Jones," said Snodgrass. " No," he added, after a pause, " I don't like him. • The fact is, Jones speaks so much of himself, tells so much, you know, that he doesn't leave any room for the imagination." Does any reader- know Jones ? THE MARKETS. NEW YORK. BEEVES $T 00 RT?;10 25 IIoos 6 r.O 7 50 The " Department" Clerk The worst-abused man in Washington is the department clerk. $1,800 down to $700 per year. It is safe to say that all get as much as they are worth. Half of them who owe board bills and sport so much style around Washington could not make enough in competition with the world to wear two suits a year. The clerk is a polite pau­ per. He thinks that for some reason or other this country owes him a living. He goes to work at 9 o'clock, and is found, all slickly brushed and gloved, issuing from tlie front steps of his great asylum just before 3 o'clock.-- Washing­ ton letti r. A Widower. A Western man having lost his wife, a sympathizing friend remarked upon his woe-begone appearance. " Well, I guess you would look thin, too," was the melancholy rejoinder, " if you hail to get up before daylight, make the fires, draw water, split wood, and feed the cattle before breakfast. 1 tell you what it is, if I don't get some one to till poor, dear, sainted Maria's place, I shall bo resting by her side before many weeks." COTTON FLOUR--Superfine WHKAX No. 2 Spring Cons--Ungraded OATS--Mixed Western RTE--Western PORK--Mess LAUD CHICAGO. BEEVKK--Oholce Graded Sti-ers 5 00 Cowc and llciferB 2 40 Medium to Fair 4 30 HOGS 2 50 FLOITK--I tncy While Winter Ex.... 5 50 Good to Choice Spring Ex.. 4 25 11*4 i"1 12 3 25 <o> 4 1(V (,i 1 4M <••> 52 48 «i !W> (a 15 50 (rf X\ . 1 05 . 50 45 95 .15 25 6 5 45 3 50 4 (ill WHEAT -NO. 2 Spring... He earns from ) N°- 3 Spring 1 CoiiN--No. 2 OATS--No. 2 liYK--No. 2. BARLEY--No. 2 BI TTKH--Choica Creamery..., •F.oos--Fnwh Polik--Mr is. I.AUD . ..I' . 95 92 . 39 28 87 72 91 :w . 28 85 .15 75 WHEN you are. traveling always take some stranger into your confidence, tell him how much money you have with you, where you keep it, and what you ore going to do with it. If he doesn't relieve you of what you possess you'll haye the satisfaction of knowing that you have at last met an honest man. MlLWAl'KKK. WHEAT--No. 1 No. 2. CORN--X >. 2. OATS--No 2 KYE-NO. 1 BARLEY--No. 2. ST. LOUIS. WHEAT--No. 2 Red CORN--Mixed OATS--No. 2. RYE PORK--MINE LAUD CINCINNATI. WHEAT CORN OATS RYE.. PORK--Mesa LARD TOLEDO. WHEAT--No. 1 White No. 2 Red COBS--No. 2 OATS--No. 2 DETROIT. FLOUR--Choice., WHEAT--No. 1 White CORN--No. 1 OATS--Mixed. BARLEY (per cental) PORK--Mess INDIANAPOLIS. WHEAT--No. 2 Red... 92 CORN 40 OATS 91 PORK--Clear 15 75 • EAST LIBERTY, PA. CATTLE--Best 4 75 Fair 4 25 Common 3 50 HOG8 4 90 BHEEF 3 25 (a 17 (iu 1 '06- (a, 99 2^ sr. 15 85 7\(i$ 98 95 <$ 44 32 W 94 (.f, 95 10 00 (.t 16 25 33 . 4 75 (<$ 5 00 97 W>, OK . 40 <,4 47 . 34 :I5 . 1 50 .16 50 (.«• 1 (a. lti <S> 99 H 41 48-- UVlo 00 5 0» (a) 4 50 <4 4 00- <n\ 5 45- ® 4 6t>