McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 17 Nov 1880, p. 7

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, (*,w . f, • » <i» "i •*• " f . t- mnaw fiPKiwii n v. r. vjhmi. J - • > »tormy ooaat of her nattvl _ Md far o'er the bltie, # ' yher* the wave* daahed tip in splendor gnltf ~«r ganntat* on the oold ne» sand Were damp with ocean's daw, ijpy' ?" $ lie loved to come at tha claae of nd hear the billows roar, d watch the foaming, seething qjifafr juere her aalior lover had «*'H MNjf E. / To India's distant shore. % & And now a memory surged her mlnAj . One standing, fair and tall, J'«-.Vflj;:. JW«!Wi erst the, flowery jewtamlne "« , 1%*J? Bid draped in happy days tangRyi>4 ,'iJ ' A cottage garden wali. llkey stood when day was bat beg«| Beside t!ie wall of atone; • • , *Bat when the west--the dipping imtj ' • . Betokened that the day was done >_ She rested there alone. y- flbe wondered if he thonght to-nigh# Of loving friends at home; Bid he keep the ourl so brown and bright That he severed from its mates the night Be left that cottage home. e chill winds swept the rocky height-- ! he lingered by the Bea watched till tlie somber wings of nifbt borne away the fading light -% the waves of eternity. . "r:' •: On India's distant shore was he, Nut fondling her auburn curl, Hor thinking of loved ones over the #1)1, .. Ittit Mswinn bcncuiii a haoyan tree 4 '• < A croaa-eyed Hindoo#?!. Shf wearily waited and sadly prayed For a glimpse of hi* azure l>iou.-:e, Till she beard ; uiul rather than be a maid, fihe married a peddler of decent grade, And went to keeping house. . a little cottage she had to keep; ; It stood beside the main; And oft she watched the troubled deep, When night winds cradled the wavea asleap, And thought of her love again. " It might have been," she murmured low, Tear minta her bluo eyes dim: " 'And the sea birds sweeping to and fro, "The fitful shadows that come and go, Too oft remind of him. Tia ever thus. Friends change apart Stern absence gi Yea a weary pain, And gossip wings the fatal dart, To rend the sinking, hopeless heart Of one who waits in vain. And love's a sacred thing that few, Ah, very few may hhare I And lovers to-day are not so true As romance pictures them out to you, Oh, maiden with golden hair I And your Jimmy or Simmy, John or Csr!, « So noble, kind and true, Keeps one wiftful eye upon the girl With golden papa or brighter carl, The while they cherish you. Bat let not this dishearten you; Accept the trust that's given ; For love that's truly pure and tru* Can never, never be for you -- This side the ports of heaven'. . COUTON ootjxty, N. B. THE CROOKED REPORTED! OB, v|^nt BEKB-Jkbkeb'S REVKNOB ! ; A TALE or THE SERIOUS NEVADA. THE GPCKLEBUBB CLUB. A New and Thrilling Story. Since the time that the estimable gen­ tleman had consented to act as Treas­ urer of our organization got embar­ rassed and irregulated with the funds thereunto belonging we have had no regular meeting place. Because, since the Sheriff so ruthlessly fired us out into the street for non-payment of rent, we have been unable until very recently to find any one soft enough to give us a resting-place without our planking up tlie rent in advance. But patience and perseverance will accomplish wonders in the financial as well as the animal world ; so we've again achieved a local habitation and a name. And we're not going to give it away, either, for you to go and post our landlord, perhaps. As nil this scuffling round has brought us to the verge of financial collapse, it was resolved unanimously, at last meet­ ing, that something should be done to restore the late statu quo of our treas­ ury. It was, to curtail an elongated narrative, suggested that your servant try to find a buyer for his soul-thrilling memoirs, entitled " Confessions of a Reformed Paragraplier," and donate or lend the proceeds thereof to the clifb to achieve its rehabilitation. Thereupon the underwriter proceeded to read the manuscript for the edification of those who hadn't had the pleasure of perusing it, but before the second chapter was reached I found that at least half a dozen Cockleburrs imagined that they were hit between wind and water, as it were, and that the whole thing was only a malignant, insidious exposure of their little mental corns. By assuring them that I did not refer to them order was restored, but before the fifth chapter was .reached the President, Col. Bungstarter, jumped to his feet and roared at me : " Why do you dare, sir, drag my family skeletons to the light of day ? " I replied that I never dragged a skele­ ton anywhere in my life. "What do you mean, then, sir, by your impertinent refex*ence to ' Old Doo­ zlebung ?'" "Why," I replied, "Colonel, that's a purely imaginary character; I didn't think there was a Doozlebung iu tlie wide world." "Didn't know Helena, Arkansaw! I let you know now, then, that my wife's sister married a Doozlebung, and I don't intend to sit quietly by and hear family troubles exposed; no, not even to save the Cockleburr Club from the dengue." Further reading of the confession had j to cease, for it was evident that there wasn't a man in the room but was certain that portions of the manuscript referied i directly to him. I Verily, the way of the paragraplier is hard. As it was unanimously resolved that the private peccadilloes and failings of the members of the club should not be used as a fulcrum to boost the finan­ cial condition thereof, we had to cast about for some otl ler means to accelerate the velocity of the air currents. Where­ upon the undersigned, piqued at the unceremonious manner m which his cherished literary effort had been sat down on, suggested that some one else try his hand at the bellows for a wind- raiser. After considerable discussion it was decided that, whereas, it would take too long to write a novel, or anything else, single-handed; and, whereas, that all were equally implicated in the affair; 'and, whereas, that we possessed abun­ dant raw material--of the rawest kind, too--for the venture; and, whereas, that time nnd landlords wait for no wawt it was unanimously Resolved, That the members of this club each write one chapter, to the best of his abil­ ity, .tnd according to his own style and hia con­ ception of the exigencies of the case. Considerable ill-feeling was manifest­ ed as to who should name the title or block out the plot, and after much wrangling it was decided that Col. Bungstarter should name the offspring as well as write the opening chapter Plot, there was to be none, each chapter to be so beautifully rounded off that ab­ sence of plot would not be noticed! The Secretary was directed to write just what was dictated to him, as in or­ der to accelerate things the whole thing was to go right along viva voce, begin­ ning at the President and going on down to the underwriter, who was to give all the brides away (and he never gave a girl away in his life), hang all tlie villains and dispose of all the char- aoters, either by mysterious' disappear­ ance or otherwise. After clearing his throat, Col. Bung- starter begun: t It was a dark atid stormy night in the Serious Nevada. By the flashes of lightning that almost blinded our hero, a solitary horseman might be seen wend- ying his way amid the peals of thunder that lined the road through the gloomy, Indian-haunted canyon. By getting in front of him we can see by the flashes lof lightning that he is young* and ypthat. in his side-pocket glistens some­ thing it won't do to fool with too much. Ever and anon, as some horned owl Ihoots mournfully over his head far up jthe cannon, he grasps thin shining thing, ^exclaiming: "Hal" Mr. SickembuH next! CHAPTER IL We draw nearer to our Hero, and by the electric light read the legend in- ascribed upon the shining thing that he holds in a horizontal position to his face ; it is hop bitters--here a doZten mem- i)ers jumped to their feet, protesting against any advertisements being rung in on this novel without seeing the pro­ prietors first. Carried. Far above the roaring of the Alpine storm our hero hears what appears to be the voice of a female in distress. Plunging the spurs into his noble steed, he plunges madly down the mountain side, when, suddenly---- Maj. Jones, neit 1 CHAPTER IIL When suddenly tlie scene changed. Four young men are seated around a table, in a Southern California town, whose features bear the stamp of intel­ lect. They were playing poker. The reckless manner in which they won and lost thousands proclaimed their calling. They were newspaper men. Grasping a handful of gold from the table, the youngest, tossing it toward an auburn-haired maiden hard by, mur­ mured, "Three beers and a straight." As the elder dealt out three cards round, the younger began to sing in a low, plaintive voice: * , This is the psir f kmg have sought, Ami mourned beltane I drew it not. The elder seemed to tumble to his lay, for he refused to straddle tlie blind and stayed out, but the man with the long hair doubled his ante, and made it steep to come in; but the young one saw him, and was on the point of raising him out of his boots, when-- Capt. Smith! CHAPTER IV. When the cries grew louder and loud­ er, until our hero, coming suddenly to the foot of the canyon, beheld a female form perched upon a rock in the middle of a roaring river. Heedless of danger, he plunged his horse into the seething waters, and, as lie grasped her around her slender Waist, the horse broke away, and left him alone upon the rock with the maiden. The waters, with exultant gurgles, rose and ruse until it was chin-deep around there, whetii suddenly-- Mr. Siiodgra-s next 1 CHAPTER V. When suddenly they both rolled over and was drowned, and-- Here the club was in a general uproar of protest against the willful murder of the hero right at the start. Snodcrass was ruled out. Mr. Simpson next! CHAPTER VL When suddenly the old man said, "I see your twenty and raise you five." " I call you. What have you got ?" "Two pair." " No good," said the old man, gath­ ering in the pot, uutil he saw that it was two pair of aces the young one had accumulated. There would be noth­ ing strange in that, but the old man had three aces himself, and had begun to manifest a desire to go behind the returns, when a loud crash was heard, and with a shriek the fair maid with the auburn hair entered, crying, " Fire !" CHAPTER VII. The scene changes. Pacing up and down in the cell of the prison might be seen a man about forty years of age, more or less. Fifteen years have elapsed since the stormy night we left uim perched on a rock in the middle of a mountain torrent. "Will she never come?" he murmurs, as he glances toward the door. She enters; with a sob she throws herself on the prisoner's shoulder. "It's no use, Philander," she cries ; " they'll bring in a verdict of murder. The jury's bin playin' poker all night to get the hang of the evidence, and some infernal moke run in a cold hand o' fours on the foreman, an' he is in for hangin' ye now." CHAPTER VIII. The gallows are finished. The prisoner is playing a last game of seven-up with the Sheriff, when sud­ denly-- Mr. Green next! CHAPTER IX. A tremendous roaring noise is heard and an earthquake strikes the place, tearing the jail asunder, and the pris­ oner (who, the reader knows, is our hero) and the maiden fly to the railroad in time to-- Mr. Peters next! CHAPTER X. In time to get run over by the 9:15 express. A simple cross marks their last resting pi ice--United in life, united in death. This novel may be a little jerky, but it has enough raw material in it for a dozen ordinary yarns. And, if it is jerky, you must remember that no two writers view things from the same standpoint. To the hands of our countrymen we commit ourselves. Officially, Jack Homespun. P. S.--If any trouble grows out of tISis, I want it distinctly understood that I'm not implicated in the above, only as 1 amanuensis. U. H. Humbugged Again. I saw so much said about the merits of Hop Bitters, and my wife, who was al­ ways doctoring and never well, teased me so urgently to get her some, I con­ cluded to be humbugged again ; and I am glad I did, for in less than two months' use of the Bitters my wife was cured, and she has remained so for eighteen months since. I like such humbugging.--H. T., St PauL-- Pio­ neer-Press, Surely the ways of theatrical men are peculiar. When a lot of tramptf eongre- gate about the entrance to hear the music, and the policemen drive them away, the manager telegraphs all over thfe country that his play is an im­ mense success, and that people are turned away from the doors.--Oil City Derrick ALL SORTS. 1 " Thk iron horse has but one ear--the engineer. Exdeavob to f>e what yiStt would ap­ pear to be. The beehive is the poorest thing in the world to fall back on. Boston has " A Society for the En­ couragement of Study at Home." The richest ribbons represent Gobelin tapestry or the genuine old cloth of gold. It will take a pretty heavy frost to kill this speech crop that is ripening now. When does a horse enjoy his food most ? When he hasn't a hit in his mouth. John Calvin is the good old orthodox name of a Texas desperado who is in jail for murder. A moose was killed near Moosehead lake, in Maine, recently, that weighed 840 pounds. The popula^jon of the world, accord­ ing to Dr. Belim and Prof. Wagner, is 1,455,923,500. There was a marriage recently in Bristol, Vt., in which the bride was only 13 and the groom 35. .. J°HN Roach is building three large iron vessels at Chester, Pa., for the New York and Savannah line. The conscience money sent to the Chancellor of the English Exchequer last year amounted to over §30,000. The dealer in salt must have a pre­ carious time of it* The salt-cellar, you know, is always getting overturned. In England the church is said to be the only profession that can supply a living to more young men than aie anx­ ious to enter it. In Dodge county, Ga., a Mra. Wright has made twenty yards of silk, having hers* (If raised the trees, attended to the worms, and woven the silk into cloth. The Hungarian state railways are in all l,119j miles in length, and they yield an income of about 1J per cent, per annum on the capital invested in them. Dr. Louis Knox, of Putnam county, N. Y., has two pet pigs which he has taught to play euchre, so that they can vanquish the best players in the neigh • borhood. A couple of years ago, when wool was so low, a farmer near Stateville, Miss., put his wool clip into mattresses. This season he ripped open the mattresses and sold the wool in them for $250. The famous Thomas orchestra, which was disbanded, after nearly twenty-five years of existence, when its leader went to Cincinnati, is to be formed anew and placed under his directiont It is a curious fact that Anna Dickin­ son has never seen her own play, "An American Girl," yet she liyes within one block of the theater in which it is being performed. Talk about the curiosity of women. » Still another use for corn : At a re­ cent brewers' exhibition in England, good beer was shown brewed from maize and rice. The probability of American maize supplanting English barley is suggested. Another wing is in oourse of erection to the Astor Library, New York, in ac­ cordance with the will of Wm. B. Astor. When completed it will have a frontage of about 160 feet and a capacity for 400, 000 volumes. It is anticipated that the new light­ house at Eddystone, on the English coast, will be completed in the autumn of 1882, or four years from the time when the work was begun. The tower will be 170 feet high. Social Circle is the name of a town in Georgia where a member of a social circle of drinkers stood at a bar and drank seven full tumblers of whisky without stopping. Two physicians could hardly save his life. A young Englishman wrote home from New York to his mother : " This is a dreadful country. At this moment, from my window, I can see wdl buffalo of the prairif careering down the street, and a large body of citizens in full chase. I'm coming 'ome." There are at present many opium eaters in literary and artistic circles in Paris, and the practice is said to be gaining ground. In the English literary world there are to-day none. I)e Quincy remains the champion opium eater of literary England. "Can you tell me where to buy a white shirt ?" said a gawky fellow to a man at Lexington, Ga. The informa­ tion was given, and the inquirer--who was accompanied by a Washing girl-- said to the merchant while buying the shirt: " Can you tell me where to get a marriage license ?' Of the license clerk he asked • "Who's die best minister to tie the knot?" Thus the couple cau­ tiously proceeded tow aid mati iinony A World of (irood. One of the most popular medicines now before the American public is Hop Bitters. You see it everywhere. Peo­ ple take it with good effect. It builds them up. It is not as pleasant to the taste as some other Bitters as it is not a whisky drink. It is more like the old- fa^hioned boneset tea that has done a world of good. If you don't feel just right try Hop Bitters.--Nunda News. Tough Hoofs of Horses. It is stated that the Arabian horses, so largely used as cavalry in the British army in India, possess such tough hoofs that they rarely require shoeing. In a full-grown horse the hoof becomes as hard as flint, and he can make the most severe marches without injury to his feet. In ancient times, historians inform us, all horses went unshod, and to be able to do so particular attention had to be given to breed from none except those having the toughest of hoofs. Mr. Story, the American sculptor at Rome, in one of his publications speaks of the Italian horses still retaining this extra toughness of hoof, derived, doubtless, from the old Roman breed. Brittle and tender leet in horses, it is contended, come from the following neglect in breeding : First, hereditary predisposition ; second, imperfect nutri­ tion ; third, alternations of moisture and dryness; fourth, disease of the foot; fifth, faulty shoeing. Horse breeders would do well to consider all these points attentively, and beware not only of them but all < ther defects of body and limb, external and internal.--Jluml New Yorker. Editorial Troubles. If an editor omits anything, he is lazy; if he speaks of anything as it is, he is mad; if he smooths down the rough places, he is bribed ; if he calls things lav their proper names, he is unfit for the position of editor; if he does not furnish his readers with jokes, he if. stupid ; if he does, he is a rattle-head, lacking stability; if he condemns the wrong, he is a good fellow, but lacks discretion ; if he lets wrongs and injuries go unmentioned, he is a coward ; if he indulges in personalities, he is a black­ guard ; if he does not, his paper is in­ sipid. In shcrt, if he edits a paper properly, and sticks to truth and facts, ne is a fool, and doesn't know how to edit a paper half as well as his readers could. , J Health of the American Earf*. [From the Cleveland Penny Preae.j To relieve tlie monotony of the constant Important sayings of "Our Candidate," " Our Next President" and " Our Fellow- Citizen," it is a pleasure for ns to present herewith the opinion of one of Cleveland's most popular druggists, Mr. E. A. Schellen- tragcr, 717 St. Clair street. The gentleman writes: 1 know of no remedy which lias given more universal satisfaction tlian the Hiunburg Drops. 1 have Hot heard ot a case where they failed to benefit. The very large and daily growing demand for this Great German Blood Purifier is a source of high gratification, lor, aside from the pe­ cuniary gain, one takes pleasure in selling an article of such marked efficacy and su­ perior merit. Eye Memory ,Look steadily at a bright ob)(K% keep the eyes immovably on it tor a short time, and then close them. An image of the ̂ object remains; it becomes, in fact, visible to the closed eyes. The vividness and duration of such impres­ sion vary considerably with different in­ dividuals, and the power of retaining them may be cultivated. Beside this sort of retinal image thus impressed, there is another kind of visual image that, may lie obtained by an effort of memory. Certain adepts of mental arithmetic use the " mind's eye " as a substitute for slate and pencil by hold­ ing in visual memory pictures of the ' figures upon which they are operating, and those of their results. In my youth­ ful days I was acquainted with an ec­ centric old man, who then lived at Kil- burn Priory, where he surrounded him­ self with curious old furniture reputed to have originally belonged to Cardinal Wolsey, and which, as I was told, he bequeathed to the Queen at his death. He was the then celebrated, but now forgotten, "Memory Thompson." who, in his early days, was a town traveler (for a brewery, if I remember ricrhtly), and who trained himself to the perform­ ance of wonderful feats of eye memory. He could close his eyes and picture within himself a panorama of Oxford street and other parts of London, in which picture every inscription over every shop was so perfect and reliable that he could describe and certify to the names and occupations of the shopkeeping inhabit­ ants of all the houses of these streets at Certain dates, when postoffice directories were not as they now are. Although Memory Thompson is forgotten, his special faculty is just now receiving some attention, and it is proposed to specially cultivate it in elementary schools by , placing objects before the pupils for a given time, then taking them away and requiring the pupil to draw them. That such a faculty exists and may be of great service is unquestionable. " Systematic efforts to educate it, if successful, will do good service to the rising generation; and, even should the proposed training afford smaller results than its projectors anticipate, the experiments, if carefully made and registered, cannot fail to im­ prove our knowledge of mental physiol­ ogy. --Gen tleman's Magazine. HOW TO ACT. VML Tv-SMrcair'l «t "Worklai Blmicir< Op. It looks easy enough to be "natural" on the stage, but it is one of the most difficult tilings that an actor can do. This appearance of the volition and perfect ease which characterizes the great actors has cost them, Macready says in his " Reminiscences," much time and toil to acquire. It is training, too, that can alone secure a suitable and lnodemted gesticulation, Tlie commonest fault of actors is to exaggerate natural expressions in order to be effective; but to be effect­ ive gestures must be significant, and to be significant they must be rare. Upon this point we find tlie following interest­ ing comments in the Tempir liar, one of the most entertaining of the London periodicals: "The late Mr. Lewes well observed that to stand still on the stage la the "rSCamoirs of Goon* Segar" there is the following anecdote: "My mother, the Ccfartees d£ Segar, being askedby Voltiira respecMi^her health, told him that the most painful feeling she had arose from the decay of her stomach and the difficulty of find­ ing any kind of aliment that it could bear. Voltaire, by way of consolation, assured her that he was once for nearly a year in the same state, and believed io be incurable, but that f. very simple remedy .had restored hi"*. It consisted in taking no other nourish­ ment than yelks ot' eggs beaten up with flour of potatoes and water." .Though this circumstance tookplaoe as fa/ back as fifty years ago, and respected so ex- ~ ffc traordinary a person as Voftair?, it is as- j tonishing how little it is known, and how 1 rarely the remedy has been practiced. and not appear a guy, is one of the chief j y' ho?:ever' in ̂ °f Mity difficulties of the art. Physical qualities i a"not ^questioned, and the following in an actor merge into intellectual, and ! m^e P^panng this valuable in the matter of elocution it is impossible ! ^ ̂ recommended by Sir todhtogrtfc «lom. A of rythm, j X Sfe which is indispensable to an actor who walks hi the higher ranges of the art, is an intellectual power. It may indeed lie also acquired by a careful tuning of the ear to the rhythmical cadences of the best poetry ; but it is still more a natural gift, for hi the actor this sense is to all intents and pui-poses non-existent unless it is able to find spontaneous expression in that perfection of elocution which ' Ham­ let described to the players. The power of self-annihilation, again, involving that, of conceiving and realizing character, which is another requirement of the first- rate actor, is a quality which he shares in common with the poet and artist of dramatic genius: and is one which, what­ ever may lie its ultimate origin, is practi­ cally a divine gift, for it cannot be re­ duced to any laws whereby it may be acquired. But meanwhile, in this case, too, careful training and cultivation are essential ' My long experience of the stage has convinced me,' writes Mac- ready, ' of the necessity of keeping on the day of exhibition, the mind as intent as possible on the subject of portraitwfe, ! even to the very moment of entrance on j the stage;' and it is reported of this actor \ that, in the great scene of the third act of ! the Merchant of Venice, where ' Shy- ! lock' has come on in a state of intense | rage and grief at the flight of his daugli- j ter, he used to spend some minutes be- hind the scenes, lashing himself into j imaginative fury by cursing mtto voce, and shaking violently a ladder fixed against the wall." . ' I have mifftTod from ft kidney difficulty for ! the. past ten years, aecomptuiied with nervous j «;>aams. Physicians gave me but temporary re- t lief, hut sifter usius three and a half bottles of ! Warner's Safe Kidney and Liver Cure, niv uer- I von.i spasms were entirely relieved. My ace is : 77 years. I recommend this great remedy to all suffering from nervous troubles. MBS. MARY KEESfc. Banton, Pcu bowl, and then add seven table-spoon­ fuls of cold water, mixing the whole well together; then add two table- spoonfuls of farina of potatoes; let it be mixed thoroughly with the liquor in the bowl. Then pour in as much boiling water as will convert the whole into a jelly and mix it well. It may be taken alone or with the addition of a little milk, in cases of stomachic debility or consumptive disorders. This dish is light and easily digested, extremely wholesome arid nourishing. Bread or biscuit may be taken witn it M the stomach gets stronger. The Spanish Marshal Serrano's eldest son, who has lately been residing with a gentleman in London in order to acquire the English language, has just married Mile. Santonta, a young lady with a dow­ ry of £250,0Q0; and the eldest daugh­ ter of the Marshal is about to marry the bride's brother, who has a similar fortr une. UM)§4ifiL. BMMCN* GOVTS*, SORENESS „ < Cj < •• CHESrtC, ' 1^4 ORETHMT, ^ ouom; s SWELLING* gFRJJKS, FROSTED FEtT AX9 EARS, ewsJMirra* TOOTH, EAR No PrapamtioB aa (utiKqak ft tunK, mru ud ciur External 1. tattMoompumtiT«]jrtritiagMl)^«f I on roffcriuf with fuitu my* ih«»p tad yoaitm proof* itooUiias. anuKnon u Kurrn uiiiti--. MUMAUNIMISTSMiKAUttMMttCM* S frVMELER * CO. MKmm% JM.* V* Hair t»veistheSAMttd^'s. mm! BRSf: it aat« ifitfanfa nwmair.pTOdnclivwMiHMlkv' natwM shade* ofJHWck or drawA: «Ws< SOT STTAjIff '-*" the SKA*, vtuiMflAly a every weH-aj 3P-.< ^SuImq St^fewTSSSU; ORlXTBAlOJf. A#W SORE EARS, CATAREE Man? p«apln ars wSth tii«M ••set *, hat, very few erar gut woll from ibaan; thitto I* improper treatment o.-ify, »•< they sre raauillr t a prt.jMiily tnwtwl. This is no idle boaot. hot* ipl® ffll! < s: 31 ^ ' &4 " #»se«3 ID UU lUi» I IW pro*»t> <T»w nnd over Main by raj twatniert r mv little Booh^/rM to alt; U *111 t>-tl so •eo matters aod wbolom. Mylargi tbeeo matters aod who 1 HE WOn.D 1II N I.IKE LKIHTNINU. j [From the Chicago Inter-Ocean.] f Speaking of candidates and records, it is | safe to say flint it a man could be nomina- ! ted for the highest office in the land, with ! as clear a record for being the fittest, safest j and the best, as our famous German friend j St. Jacobs Oil has, there would be no doubt I of an election. Party, creed, or denomina i tion would not enter into the canvass. | Many of our most influential citizens are enthusiastic upon the subject of this won­ derful oil._ twt&nt I'owaer. Chemistry itself is at a loss to estimate the power of nitro-glycerine, and yet this new agent of death is 20 per cent, stronger. That our readers may be enabled to form a faint conception of the danger of such a preparation, we will give a brief description of the process by which nitro-glycerine, giant and Hercules powder are supposed to be manufactured, and of the extreme caution necessary in their manufacture. In the manufacture of nitro-glycerine, two tubes, each about a quarter of an inch in diameter, and six inches in length, lead into a single tube of double their capacity, but of the same length. Nitric acid is introduced into one and sulphuric acid into the other of these small tubes. The large tube contains glycerine. The two acids are then forced quite gradually into the glycerine, and the chemical combination thus forms an explosive of incalculable power. So powerful and dangerous is this article that not an ounce of it is allowed in the manufactory while this tube, six iuclies long and half an inch in diameter, is being tilled, and this tube is kept con­ stantly swathed in ice during the process. To make giant powder, this nitro-glycer- ine is allowed to drip upon a clay (simi lar to meerschaum) imported from Ger­ many. This clay is the only perfect absorbent of nitro-glycerine known. As Hercules powder is darker, it is believed that that explosive is manufactured by the same process, charcoal, an imperfect absorbent, being used instead- olU said quality of clay. If, in tfce manufacture of nitro-glycerine, a strong tube is kept swathed in ice, and a quantity of the liquid only six inches in length and half an inch in diameter is allowed in the building at the same time, no wonder that Gen. Vou Bokkelen, with Ids prep­ aration 20 per cent, more powerful, re­ marked that he would have it handled thermometer in hand 1-- Virginia City Chronicle. There is an Indiana woman, only 20 years old, who, when she went to In­ dianapolis to purchase a pair of shoes, could find none large enough, and had to leave her measure. This called for a pair of extra "fifteens," the last being a foot in length and five inclics wide. It should, perhaps, be stated, however, that the woman herself weighs 547 pounds, and is seven feet two inches in height. Kate Dashieix, a Baltimore public charge all her hie, has just been buried from Bay view Asylum, where her mother left her, 2 years old, during the cholera epidemic of 1832. Kate never spoke, smiled nor moved during all these years, but had to be fed and tended like a baby. She ceased growing when she was 6 years old, though her head was unusually large, and she used to sit all day rocking herself in a little chair specially made foi her. Albanian" women walk over rough mountain pathways with sixty pounds of fagots on their backs and spinning with distaff and spindle as they go, while the men shoot at a mark and the boys turn somersault races on the gentle slopes of the mountain sides. When tlie season for making presents oomes, make gome sufferer of your acquaintance a present of a bottle of Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup, and note the benefit it wiiifto him utdtto thanks you will receive. . "Just as Kind." Two ladies stood up in a Broadway stage, and hugged and kissed until they were jolted into a seat, when one of them said: " How did you like Europe ?" " It's too splendid for anything," was the reply. 44 And were you sick ?" 4'Yes, awfully sick." < "And was your husband good>:to you?" 44 O, he was too good for anything! •Tust as soon as he found out I was sicJk, he went and drank salt water so as to fee seasick in unison with me, and I'm not his second wife, either." The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, ITIlchn Will eead their Electro-Voltaic Belts to the af­ flicted upon thirty days' teial. Bee their adver­ tisement hi this paper,{headed, "On Thirty Days' TriaL" 44 My case is just here," said a citizen^ to a lawyer : "The plaintiff will swear that I hit him. I will swear that I did not. Now what can you lawyers make of that if we go to trial ? " 44 Five dol­ lars apiece! " was the prompt reply. Malaeiai, fevers cru bo prevented, also other roinstuari!? dis^nwn, by occasionally u»iug Dr. Sanford's Lirer Invigorator, tlw oident general Family Medicine, wliuli is recommended us a cure f or all diseases caused bj^ a disordered liver. Eighty-page book sent free. Address Dr. Banlord, 162 ltroadwuy, New York. Veoetine is nourishing and strengthening, purities tlie blood, regulates the bowels, qnieta the nervous system, acts directly upon the se­ cretions, and arouses the whole system to action. Abe nil business college* alike? By no means. H. B. Bryant's Chicago liuniness College could accommodate the students of a dozen of the smaller kind. MIL ABSOLUTE ABreiSuiMM.. * Meadicar*!**. DANIK1, P. BKATTY'H BV TUB USE OF DR. BOSANKO'S RHEUMATSC CURt, THE GREAT ALKALINE REMEDY. TRY IT AND BE CURED. 3?3rt,XGX3„ 7S Oeixtau • ASK YOUR DRUGGIST FOR IT. Address THE DR. BOSAMO MEDICINE i fiqua, o. ORGANS! , 14 STOP!*, 8ITG.BASN & (H 'i1. COUJMLRI FOI *'it si'T -- •L I RfcFDS 1 P I A N O S w • m mm m w<w>-ONLY r on Trini» U nrinntcil. \ ntnko jue * Address DANIfcL F. B£*ITY, Washington. Jer*e|7 ON 30 DM1 TRIAL. W» will our KK>ctro- V oltaio BilU and Kfeotrie Appliances upon U k! fur 90 d *ye to tltoM iftlicted with Nervous liability and cit« vi*ei nf a u# } mature. Alftoof fcht» Liver, Kidneyri, Rh«ura*tUNt sin, A#. A *nr* cure yuara 'te*H or no ptty, Adams ToIIhIc fi«I| Co., Mlek VASEUSE JELLY. ^ Silver ntPfcite KxpoattML reiRCLEUM Grand Mwtal Phi KxixMiticui. Th:» wonderful •al**t»noe duu tUivnch ;nt ttsa worUl ••vsrxi for ibo cure nf Wiiulifc. Bwnu. Khei Kkiii i. FIIm, Cttturrli, CMk klnlns,A,-. In that •tattyone trytt.ttt> pot op in IS and 35 cent bottiw tor hoomUold am. Obtain it fr»ra ?oor drugtrU?,sod yoo«1U find tt mini 111 It .' r.ythlnu you but «v«r Uk«d. W&m Frames E OKSAMKNTAl <; u i. » Picture I'Ynmea. Hlustnt-toil (Jnt.il<>Kue tent, free by !hs rasnutsctaicr. M. II. ilcll.W.VIX, 9UU to '^.6 W«ba«h-av. TOCNG KAN Oil OLD, If >o« «wt a Ufiiiknt HwiUitl. wkUk»r*. • gr*«tli of hair «• b*U hMJte. U bbl . (tu> I Mr ut » • I I It hnt •*,)« M.w. tffef Ai Gl'Ot {tpMian V ,, B»**V fei fciUi. AMrw<, r>a 'lOSIALU. IMi. U*«a. It turn" <mit. •fw I.mw. Tboow<to olSildtw --d .Mtrt oitltlWL# ' P»n«iou» date bngk todiaetntfyor rtiwith f)faM AddieM. with Momp, £€ OBOBttt ft. KJOCD96 ' :Tf ; f. O- Dnv«rn5. Wuah^ttctea, A. , MUDTACHE A Wmill t It «•>« wm --n i*w »wt wmte «• Tit-- wwh ----i»hw >IV i»m .ttwiiXa--iw W»I*H. SXlTtt KIPJMEY-WORT r~ genuine. WD know Wilhoft's Fever and Ague Tonic. This old reliable remedy now sells at one dollar. STBAionrEN your old boots and shoes with Lyon's Hoel btiffeners, and wear them again. CM <fi r . „ Ann tier da/at noma. .Sample* worth $6 free. $D 10 $£U Addreaa Stikson A Co.. Portlund. Me NCYCLOP/EDIA ^ TIOUETTE; BUSINESS This is 1ho cheapest an<l only comploto and reliable work on Etiquette and Huflitwsi and Social Forms. It telly how to perform all the various duties of lite, and how to appear to the hast advantage on all occasions. A&cnf* Spnd for c i rculars conta in ing a fnl l descr ip t ion of tho work and ext ra tonus to Agents Address NATIONAL PUBLISHING CO., Chicago* XUL IF YOO ARE SUFFERING From CATAEAH ; .? And really wnnr to be cured, just nr.me thin paper and eend 1(1 cents to Dr. C.,H. Sykeg, 169 Kast Madwon at., Chicago, 111., for "The ttoSi.Theory of Catarrh and full Information of a Sure Cure." Thousands of persona have been cored in the last Urn jroara by hi* plan. AGENTS The Croat Romedy For Thl LIVER, THS BOWELS, and the KIDNEYS. Theso preat organs the Natuml eh Mdwifcrtf , thet\v; trim. It th..y woik wil, lualth witl<£*VS*> i?" foot, if titevbeeouwologpnrt, dreadful tfiMasNt are ft tfevcJoned V'K»u?t? i' •• i>l.<od is polmncd Yilhttw iminors that i-bauld haw Men expelled BaturaQr. KIUE^G V-WORT "•<•^'1 reetorr tho natural action, •na throw oil t!;e diseaM.; Vfrovifsal cured, and all may b--. For aalf 1? KliBmynls^. WANTED lars concerning our • Extraordinary Offer! STANDARD BOOKL Addn-ss FOK*IIi:r. A .1!M.tk.i, • IMS Weil Fifth »l., ( iucluuutl,Uhl*. NATRONA"? Si the besi tn (he World. It it absolutely pat*. It t* Mm' beat for Medicinal Purposes. It is the beat for Bakiaa and all Family {Jsti, gold bjr &U Broxgiata and OrooM Feun'a Salt Mannfaet'iM CFI..FMa. glO WAGES, summer and winter. Samples free. National Copying Co.,300 Weat Madiaon «t.,Chicago. PISOSCURE for Connimptlon is also i the beat cough medicine. aaad nrefk In your own town. Terms and $5 Outf i t 9D0 free. Addraes H. Hallett A Co.. Portland, He. WANTED--444 Agents. Splendid Photo. Family Record Picture. L^rge profits. C. F. SHORT, Chicugo, IIL AfAa wes^k, $12 a day a t home eas i ly mad*. Cost ly $/4 Outfit \ roe. Addrees True A Co.. Ausu*tn. Me. $2,000 In Gold given away. Send 3r stamp for purticulars. "THK MESSK& OEK," Lewisburgh, Union Co., Pa. _ TEAR and expense* to agents. Outfit Free. Addreaa F. ~ VICKERY. Augusta, Wnntad I rid: a aam-AAPfl A MOJTTH t AsrentB 1 S35D K-TSR Vfl l lUr* MTII Learn Tei r i r raphy and earn 810 to TUUnb mun tiiloO a month. Every graduate guaranteed •< paying situation. AddreBS VALENTINE BROS., Managers, Janeeville, Wis. X'MAS OPIUM PRESENTS free. Send addreaa for particulars. F. TRIFKT, '£7 School Street, Boston, Mass. Sf»ri>hlne llnblt CurMl ia M to 20 day*. \i>pay MM t'arfC 1)K. J. »rja*Hi£N8, JUebanuu, Uhio. Mai .k a \» f rmale aoexts wasted in every town ."nd city to sell Dli Rboiies' Klet-TBIC TBAN8KU8ING Battkk*. Territory secured. Send for Circular. Address W. H. BROWN', No. 96 Tremont St., Boston, Mass. EVERY CHILD will have one of ouf Puzzles, so as to get part of the **1X9 IN (JOLD we a.e goin* U> away Kcb. 10,1^81. The first one will receive mc0 Stj cents. Addiesa P. O. Box. Button, Mass. PURE TEAS Agenta wanted everywhere to sell to families. QoVls and (large consumer®; largest ... the country; quality and terms triejn*t Ojon trr srutekeepera abonld oill or inttsTHB WETL4J TEA COMPANYVSOl Fulton rt,N. Y. P.O.Bo*46«i 70,000 SOLD YEARLY. Tbe crowing popularity ami uHciulueaa al. ('ABIMKT or I'AKI.OIt OK(;ANK is Nbotn by tlie fact that Seventy Thuu!>aii<l are Hold yearly In tbc United Mtutea. The beat are the USOI i HILLDI ORGANS, which have been awarded htghfbt distinctions fob DEMONSTRATED BUI'KllIOEITT at EVERY ONE of the OKUAT WORLD'S Industrial Exhibitions for UUitoen years, tcitKout one ejeerption. NEW STYLES are ready this season with important ImprovaoMBta. FOR LARGE CHURCHES, spU ndi.l organs, with great power and variety, at $57(1, and less prices; FOR SMALLER CHURCHES. SCHOOLS, Ac , $84 to |2U) and upwards. SUPERB ItRAW IN'ti-KOOM STYLES at $2<j0 to $610, and upwards; A GREAT VA­ RIETY of SMALLER ORGANS of equal excellence, though less capacity, or in plain cases, at $51 to and upwards. Also furnished roll MONTHLY or qcakteult PAYMKNT*. $iand upwarda. r*,.M uri/atf art rerlamty mriwaM fa mfUtmet.wkOt ' IA« prices are not murk higher tkam tkoee qf Miy <n/sriar I inttrumeut*. Before parchaatag any organ send for latest lUuntnUtd ! Catal.Hfue (32 pp. 4to), containing full descriptions and | prices, including new styles, and much useful inform* \ tion for the purchaser of any organ, which will be seat I fTte ami postpaid. MASON i HAMLIN ORGAN CO, 1 164 Tremont Street, BOSTON; 46 East 14th Stra^ NSW YORK; 14tt Wabaah Arena®. CHICAGO. RED RIVER VALLEY 2,000,000 Acres Wheat Lands beat tn the World, for sale by tha Si. Paul, lieeapolls & Manitoba G.E. 00. Three doliara per &er« allowed thaaattlw far braah l lag and cultivatioa. For particulars apply to P. A. McKINLAY, rsM.rmrt.WMi JaESTEY & CS Bbattl£B0RO m. b the "OriEtnal" Ooncentntod Lye and Family Hi,ap M.iker. Direotloaa aeuoinpany each v-- . lor making Hard, and Toilet Map qutafeW'. It is tuli v». l^iit und strength. Ask your gro-js,- tm HAL'pX t iv'E and take »ooihar. FemVa Salt Mannfae^ng Gou, FOR CHILLS AliD FgVCIt -* AND AZiII M"*1 ciisio BY Malarial Polswtag OF THE BLOOD. A Warraatai 6tfi Price# $1-00. ' rOB »•" IT UIi Al.lSGitSl'S CATHOLI will positively cure Femalo Wenkness. mrh as Falth|g of tha Ute rus, Ui.y.1,, 1'hr.mu; 1ml is.mation Ul. er.ition oi tbe Uteius fc«4»nl«l He»»otr&*g« M F;i'<i;i;n(r, i'ainfn', Suppres^et iHi-1 lrro»,-tilii Mr Jto. An o!d anil «Ksliabl<j ord tor s p.imiitilet, with treatment, cure* and ;ir»i.nd jmtieuts. to HOWARTH * BAMaliU, Ulicj.N. Y. Sold by all Uru^tcUta--4LW par 'cuttla wfweitTi'y You liave aallca tlne» before. But ttoa so often m«4e, dealet ~ for boots with 0»o<rlrt's l*atoM aser Stnl Blvtt PretMtsdWal any Sole *v«r aada. 11 *a* la lh*wnrDextUsMyoa mil booti iron and mm ZL sgeototak OboMh W Ohloago, 111. O W.U. Ro. 41 Whbn wBinra nitiBiTiHi VI »i»m> --y y-- mm Mm atmiln* aiuiikNi

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