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f l l r n r g | ? l a t u d c a l n J. VAN SLYKE. Editor mi ruMw. [cHENRY, - - ILLINOIS. FARMER GARFIELD. Knml Some of *1M PI Elect--The Farm, tlM Impure* *-«»• "««"•» the Stock. Ik* Crop* -- A»»e Hewitt'* Fraeat of m VHav- •uchbred Aldternry Bnll CtU) Ul How it CJot ft* Name. [Special Correspondence Chicago Timet,] HON LOT. UIHTOI, Ohio, Deo. 16.--Gen. Oar- eld finds much rest and recreation in attending to the, details of work on his farm. Calling on liim yesterday I found him tramping about his fields in a rough suit of cassimere, his pantaloons tucked into his boots, and a slouch ornamented with hayseed, protecting his head. While tbe General was engaged in inspecting his winter wheat, and ob­ serving the condition of his cattle, Mrs. Garfield was standing^ in the back-door of the house giving directions to the "hands " about the shipment of a dozen barrels of cider which she was sending away to market. The scene led me to make some inquiries in regard to Gen. 'Garfield's farm and farming, and the facts elicited may be interesting to many readers. The farm contains 155 acres, all under cultivation, except a few acres of timber. It lies twenty-five 'miles east of Cleve­ land, fronting on the old wagon road from Cleveland to Buffalo, and the Lake Shore railroad runs through it. The soil is a rich, sandy loam, and is very productive. The fences are kept in good repair, and are the best in the township. When Gen. Garfield purchased the farm, about eight years ago, there were eight acres of swamp land near the center of it, which were considered almost worth­ less. The General's knowledge of en­ gineering here came into practical use, and, under iiis personal supervision, the swamp was drained. It is now very valuable land. Besides the drains fur­ nish a constant and abundant supply of pure water, which, by means of* a liy- draulic ram, is forced up to the elevated site of the house and barns, where it is used. The very simple and inexpensive - kind of water-works is a model farm im- ; provement, which might be adopted with advantage by many farmers. ! When Gen. Garfield made this im- i provement it was much talked about among the farmers in this vicinity, and many visitors came to see it. One old farmer in Geauga county heard of the hydraulic ram, but got a wrong idea of its natrfre. He came to see the General one day, and said : " Gen'ral, I'm told you hev a hy--what d'ye call it?--hy­ draulic ram. Now, I don't know noth- in' about thet breed, but I've been im- provin' my sheep o' late years, and hev got some mighty fine Cotswolds and , merinos; and I thought as how, mebbe, as you were a Congressman, you might ; a got hold of sumthin' a little high- toneder ; an' I jis' druv over to-day to see that ram o' vourn." The old farm-house has been entirely reconstructed within the past year, it | is now a quaint but sightly building, ap­ parently new throughout, and contain- , ing about twenty rooms. It is plainly but tastefully furnished. The exterior i is painted white, with red roof and green window shutters. There are forty win- i dows. The General's public office is a • small building standing a few feet from the northeast corner of his house. In llie rear, a few rods away, are other out- "uildings and the barns--one for horses and another for cattle--the sheds for : cattle and sheep, etc. The barns are models of neatness, cleanliness, and con­ venience. There are five horses, a matched team of light dappled grays, a : very fine pair of matched blacks, and a i Kentucky mare which the General ! bought of Orville Grant. Gen. Garfield is not a very expert I horseman, and he sometimes shows a lit- • tie absent-mindedness that amuses his 1 neighlx>rs. It is his habit to drive to church on Sundays with his family, un- ; attended by a servant. He will not al- ; low his team to stand out in the cold ) during s&vice, but unhitches and puts his horses in a friend's bai n near the church. Last Sunday, after service, he hitched his span of black colts to his 1 wagon and forgot to buckle the lines to • the bits. The consequence was that when he got into the wagon and started the team he came very near having a runaway. When the team was stopped . and the lines buckled an old farmer gravely remarked: " General, you'll : have to do better than that when you I take the reins of Government, or the po- j litical mules will git away with you !" J Of cattle there is a herd of twenty- ' six, mostly grade Durhams, but there are three Alderney cows and one thor- , ouglibred Alderney bull. The latter ; was presented to Gen. Garfield by the j Hon. A. S. Hewitt, before the unfortun- j ate unpleasantness growing out of the i Morey Chinese letter. At the last session of Congress, after , the hot debates on the " riders" to the : Appropriation bill, Gen. Garfield and j Mr. Hewitt were engaged in friendly 1 conversation. It will be remembered ; that Garfield had denounced the action : of the Democrats as revolutionary. : Said Hewitt : "General, I have some I very fine Alderney stock, and I will send ; a thoroughbred bull calf to your farm on ! one condition." "What is the condi- i tion ?" asked Garfield. " That the bull j ehall be named by me," said Hewitt, i "All right," replied the General ; " and ' what name will you give him?" " Revo­ lution," said Hewitt. "Well," rejoined the General, " it shall be that, if you say j so, but I think a more appropriate name | would be Congressional Rider." The i calf soon came*to the farm, and beirs I the name that the donor gave him. j The milk from Gen. Garfield's dairy j is carted to the railway station every I morning and evening, and shipped to ! the Cleveland market. Near the barns j is a biiiall building in which is kept a I steam engine, wliioh was manufactured ! by the J. I. Case Threshing Machine ; Company, Racine, Wis., used for sawing ' wood, cutting feed for the stock, etc. ' Besides the stock already mentioned, j there are eighteen thoroughbred Cots- I wold sheep and a dozen swine of the | Berkshire and Poland-China breeds. Notwithstanding the alleged depreda- j lions of visitors, very fair crops were j harvested as the result of tne past ; season's work. From fifteen acres of j corn there was husked 1,030 bushels; j seven and one-third acres of wheat aver­ aged thirty-three bushels per acre ; j fourteen acres of oats yielded 575 bush- j els; six acres of barley, 240 bushels; i eight acres of rye, 272 bushels; from j thirty-five acres of meadow were har- t rested 75 tons of hay; and two acres of • mangel-wurzels yielded 500 bushels. There is also a small buckwheat crop, Hot yet threshed. There are fifty acres qf pasture. There is a small orchard, which bore, this year, about 500 bushels of apples. The farm, with the improve­ ments made an it by Gen. Garfield, is estimated to be worth $25,000. Gen. Garfield has the reputation among his neighbors of being a good farmer--one of the best, indeed, in this region, where good farmers abound. They tell me that he manifests a deep interest in everything pertaining to agri­ culture and stock-raising. He finds recreation in farm work, and personally takes a hand in it whenever he can find time to do so. Although he has three men employed on the farm, and several servants about the house, he is in the habit of doing any little chores or er­ rands that may came in his way. It is not an uncommon thing for him to go to the postoffice, half a mile away, on horseback, and carry home on the pou- j mel of his saddle a large and well-filled ! mail bag. His plain and farm-like man- j ners and habits greatly endear him to j the country people about him. I It is unjust to mention the other ani­ mals on Gen. Garfield's farm and say nothing of his big black Newfoundland dog, "Veto." He is a very kind and in- ' telligent fellow, and seems to share in | the genial and hospitable spirit which pervadeB the premise. He expects re­ cognition from every visitor. Going into : the General's office, once, after a few | days' absence, I greeted the gentlemen j who were there, but did not speak to Veto. He looked at me expectantly from I the opposite side of the room for a miu- ! ute or two, and, when I failed to speak to him, he saluted me with a bow-wow- | wow that was perfectly comical in its , peculiar tone of reproof, and then sprang | across the room and laid his head on my knee for the customary patting. THE FAMILY DOCTOR. FACTS FOR THE CURIOUS. A SCIENTIST says : " The whole globe contains 1,200,000,000 inhabitants. If each man, woman and child could .pull with a force of 100 pounds, to move a bar of steel 5,280 feet •wide and as many thick, it would require the united efforts of 2,000 such worlds as this." IN the middle ages cats, once the ob­ ject of veneration in Egypt, were in France looked upon as satanic agents, and were burned alive. In Paris every St. John's day a number of the abhorred animals were heaped up in baskets and bags in the Place de Oreve, to afford an auto-da-fe, the sovereign Uhnself setting tire to the pile. ACCORDING to the best authorities, the quantity of salt contained in the sea amounts to 400,000,000,000,000 cubic feet, which, if placed in a pile, would form a mass 140 miles long, as many broad, and as many high ; or, otherwise disposed, would cover the whole of Eu­ rope-- islands, seas and all -- to the height of the summit of Mont Blanc, which is about 16,000 feet high. IT is difficnlt to realize the enormous 1 an attack in the poww of the bright speck, Jupiter, shin­ ing so quietly in the sky. A writer has shown that the power which the sun has J* we add a pint of pure water to a pint of impure water, we dilute the im­ pure water, and it is made that much the more pure. If we add a dozen pints of pure water to it, we dilute it still more, and bring it nearer purity yet; but n we add a certain number more, instead of the impurity becoming di­ luted, it is absolutely destroyed, and Dr. Letherby, of London, says that the water is perfectly pure. It is the same way with impure air. A certain quantity of pure air added to it, dilutes the bai air and makes it less noxious, while if a certain quantity more is added, the im­ purity of the air is destroyed, as is the case^ with impure water. Any person can judge of this from the good effect of much pure air upon bad air. THE following lunts concerning the use of tea may prove useful: 1. Whosoever uses tea should do so in great modera­ tion. 2. It should form a part of the meal, but never be taken before eating, between meals, or on an empty stomach, as it is too frequently done. 3. The best time to take tea is after a hearty meaL 4. Those who suffer with weak nerves should never take it at all. 5. Those who are troubled with inability to sleep nights should not use tea, or, if they do, take it in the morning. 6. Brain- speak to | workers should never goad on their brains^ to overwork on the stimulus of tea. 7. Children and the young should never use tea. 8. Tho overworked and underfed should never use tea. 9. Tea should never be drunk very strong. 10. It is better with considerable milk and sugar. 11. Its use should at once lie abandoned when harm comes from it. 12. Multitudes of diseases come from the excessive use of tea, and for this reason those who cannot use it without going to excess should not use it at alt DB. DAY savs in a late lecture : What­ ever be the plan of treatment decided j upon rest is the fi;%t principle to incul- J eate iii very severe headache. Rest, j which the busy qian and anxious mother i cannot obtaiu so long as they can mau- J age to keep about, is one of the first I remedies for every headache, and we | should never cease to enforce it. The brain, when excited, as much needs quiet and repose as a fractured limb or an inllamed eye ; it is obvious that the chances of shortening the seizure and arresting the pain will depend on our jKiwer to have this carried out actually. It is a practical lesson to keep steadily in view in that there may lurk l>ehind a simple headache some lesion of unknown magnitude, which may remain stationa­ ry if quietude can be maintained. There is a point worth attending to in the treatment of all headaches. It is that the head be elevated at night, and the pillow hard ; for if it be soft the head sinks into it and becomes hot, which, with some }>eople, is enough to provoke morning if sleep has •her wrapper, firmly grasping the mouth of the pocket to prfevent the escape of the dangerous animal. The garment was then turned over to the man of the house, and he, armed with a club, pro­ ceeded to the back yard to dispatch the offender. The pocket wan oj>ened grad­ ually, but no mouse appeared. Filially, gaining courage, he ventured to investi­ gate, and found the causti of all the ex­ citement to be a pocket tape measure, from which the spring had become - de­ tached and had un « ound with a whirr." so short a period are very trying to those who are really and often do them more harm than the pure sea air can do them good. Australia, also, is reached in the middle of their summer; and at Melbourne and Sydney, where most in­ valids go, it is too hot. In Tasmania and New Zealand the climate is more like that of our own Euglish summer, been long and heavy. EXCEPT a Turkish bath, nothing is more efficacious in the sore throat of to put forth to hold Jupiter in his orbit J children or adults than a wet compress ™ ,the con\hmed length of | to the throat. Double a towel two or 170,000,000 bars of solid steel, each one a mile in diameter. Jupiter's pull upon the earth, according to the same author­ ity, is equal to the strength of 23,000, three times, so as to make a pad that wi 11 fit snugly under the chin and over the throat, and let it extend around from ear to ear. Then bind a thickly- 000,000 bars of Bteel, each of them one j folded towel over the wet pad, having -oot m diameter. So, if the mere power " " * of gravity wtre all that was required to make Jupiter's approach dangerous to the earth, evidently he is not lacking in tlio power. But no one need fear that the sisterhood of worlds which acknowl­ edge the dominion of the sun will prove equally destructive. HANS BCCKNEB, a skillful German experimenter, announces a discovery of the towel wide enough to overlap the edges of the pad. It is best to pass this outer covering over the head, and not around the neck after tbe style of a cra­ vat, the object being to exclude the air so as to keep up a ]>erspiration over the diseased parts. But if the soreness is low down on the throat, tke outside towel may be passed around the neck ; yet, when this" is done, it is much more great interest and importance in its { difficult to exclude tho air. The wet 1 tearing upon the theory of evolution. He has succeeded in transforming one kind of microscopic fungi, which is a dangerous agent of disease, iuto another kind of fungi which is perfectly harm­ less. This remarkable result was reached by a continuous treatment of the fipigi for six months, during which time 1,500 generations were produced. He was through this process enabled to transform the bacteria which cause " milzbrand," tho dreaded inflammation of the spleen, into the "heupilze," or harmless fungi of hay, and vice versa. compress may be put on cold or warm ; but, when cold, it soon becomes worm from the heat of the skin, and is really a warm vapor bath. When the pad is taken off, the throat shoidd be washed in cold water to close the pores, and then well dried with a towel. This is appli­ cable to croup and to all kinds of sore throats, and will be found more cleanly and equally as efficient as grandmother's stocking filled with ashos. He Had to Attend • Funeral. Old Chief-Justice Bumpus was ob- j streperous on the bench. His dignity ! waS unassailable--his self-esteem like a | triple wall of granite, or gate* of brass, j through which the familiarity of the j common herd could not make its way. In ; dispensing justice he knew no friendship; j and in dealing out the duties of those • who served about him, he would sooner ; have cut off a finger than show favor to | one more than to another. On a certain occasion, when an import- j ant case was on the docket, which might run through several days, one of those Srho had been drawn to serve ou the jury asked very modestly and very po litelv. to be excused. He gave * as a ' reason for his request that his business was pressing him hard for time. "Should i I be called from my business during the two or three days next to come," he said, "the loss to 'me and to my partners would lie more than I can tell. For my- | self I would not care so much; but I ought not to bring loss to others." The Judge looked at him tremendously 1 --a l<K>k that might have paralyzed* a weaker man. The look was majestic and awful--a lmik of paiued surprise and of ; mingled reproof. ; "Sir! Man!--How dare you present personal business in the balance against the demands of the law? Though your business were to uphold the arching lieav- ; ens it should not excuse you from per­ forming the solemn duties to which you have been regularly subpoenaed and ap- i pointed! Sir!--you will remain upon ! the jury!" j Shortlv after this--when his Honor had recovered his breath, and a look of com- ; placency had crept over his corrugated i visage, up to him sidled a pale-faced, ! cadaverous looking man, with a mournful expression of countenance; a bend in his back; and a solemn shade in his garb-- and he, also had come to beg that he might lie excused from serving on the jury. | " O ^rour Excellency! Your Honor, I mean!' as he saw the old jurist just upon i the point of exploding, "I would not nsk < this--indeed, I would not,"--he carried : his handkerchief to his eyes, and put back the rising Hood of emotion--"I ' would not ask it for myself; but a solemn, sacred duty--a duty, your Honor, which j no other calling of earth can transcend. I It is the melancholy duty, your august i Honor, of attending a funeral! Ah me! | Those whom we love are dropping from us--dropping one by one! and I shall ! ere long go to join the host upon the ; other side!" I The Judge lifted his spectacles and wiped a mote from his eye. i " My good man, your feelings do you j credit. Under such circumstances I will j excuse you. You may j?o, sir, and attend upon the sail ceremonies that await the stricken mourner." I The man went out in a hnrry. He was careful to drop a tear of gratitude to the Judge, and then he sidled away with the swiftness of a shadow. " Poor man!" muttered the august ; Court, to itself, after the juror had goue; and then, to the clerk: ££ | "Mr. Clerk, who is that man whom I have just cxcused from service as a juror?" "His name is Digandberry, sir." " What a curious name. What is his business?" " H>' if an und> rlaker. sir!"--New York Ledger. cuuifois mwii ILLINOIS has 2,500 druggists. THE Ottawa mineral springs property was sold by the Sheriff last week for $2,500. B. F. AIJIEN, a prominent ooal dealer, of Normal, has become insane from the effects of jury service. j-*-* oper,j«*££. »>,o ^ & ; the'ST «E* UEEd i î 32i •«*•* ALL SORTS. PBESBBVXD POBTEB is ft* resident of Newark, N. J. CINCINNATI mi»ufactured 12,390,4ft) gallons of whisky lost year. HOBACE GREELEY'S brother lives m Eastern Pennsylvania, on a farm of 800 acres, but has not made farming pay. Side, has been appointed Justice of the Peace, vice Justice Wil­ son, resigned. STATE TBEASCBBR Rtrrz, who during his former term of office occupied the private residence of Gov. Cullom, at Springfield, will this time board at the Lelaud, and Attorney General McCart­ ney has rented the Cullom homestead. THE stock of provisions in Chicago last week included 191,220 barrels of pork, of which ]4S,918 barrels were new vember.--British Medical Journal. | Recollections of Aaron Burr. i " You want me to talk about Col. Burr," said Col. James Watson Webb to j a newspaper man who called upon him j at his home in New York. " Well, 1 ! knew him ; he was a brave soldier in the • Revolutionary war. He succeeded my ; father as aide on Gen. Putnam's staff af- ; ter the battle of Bunker's Hill. Burr , n„re).0, . . . _ , was a selfish scoundrel. I met him often mess perk ; 2,V5*,53o P™"«ls short rib during his last years. He used to urge sides, 17,ol2,0ol pounds dry salted " ' - - - - | have subscribed $40,000 toward estab- j lishing a cotton factory in the ontskirta t of the city. I THE new ice factory in course of eretv i tion at New Orleans will turn out about ! 25,000 tons of ice annually, and employ ; about seventy-five hands. | VIBGINIA is making extensive prepanh- ; tions for the Yorktown centennial next j October, and proposes to consolidate her ! entire militia into two brigades Fitz Hugh Lee for the occasion. SPECIAL schools to be held on hol .idaja shoulder^ OR b-rt 'la *2 t L ' Xatt.hew L Dftvis write his (Burr's) ' in every rural district of Italv have been b,rt added, • only ou one condi- decreed bj the Slhmto of" Pnblie SH i ' _ , * , you know what that is. Davis struction. Holidays are numexotxo, and • 1 HE State Horticultural ^Society held : turned to me and explained that Burr it is hoped that the new schools will keep J a satisfactory meeting last week. It j wouldn't permit iiis life to be written un- many out of the wine shops. j meets next year in Chicago. The offi- ! less the biographer would agree to ' tell j A NAKKD man on^knoftsin thflRn™ i cers elected were: C. N. Dennis, of the truth about Washington,'by which I th«rmnm«kr at ««« JL (Hamilton, Presideut; H. K. Viekrov, of ! Burr/]meant abuse him and deny liim any I Htranire a snectaele that MIA ! No,™.. Vce Present; OB. 0».u^ ' jpT.ualitie., eitter • . i . J. | STifflS i^waf ^ 'SnTr train. The man said that alop , ^ • won 1 /Ja. e 8 i voice commanded him to hang hw to Burr in my presence. Then yon i clothes on a limb and p ' sha n t write my life! responded Burr. , . .. * , , The fact is, Burr never forgave Wash- i , An. ex,chan?e W 1^, ^ Secretary; S. G. Menkler, Treasurer.!' I A FEW days since the employes of the ! Streator Coal Company attempted to 1 lower a fresh mule into the mines. , Wli£u the cage started down the animal i was almost overcome with terror, and j when they went to take him trom the j cage they found he had died from fright • while descending. j ' A siNGULAB accident befel a farmer's 1 wife in Blue Mound township. Mrf. | Charles Byer was watering cattle at a j well in the pasture, when a pet cow sud- j denly turned its head aud brushed her | into water seventeen feet deep, where I she struggled four hours for life, and in- I saintly expired on being release 1. ' NIKL HAINKS, Hopey Devoll and an­ other man whose name is not given W >re arrested near Quiney on the ciiarge ot murdering a farmer named Haverish, a Swede, near Lake City, Minn., on tho uigton for refusing to appoint him Min­ ister to France in 1795, when his party in the Senate unanimously recommend­ ed him for the distinguished place. Washington always disliked the brilliant New Yorker, whose various qualities were just the opposite of his own, and the feeling was naturally reciprocal. During the last year of his life, when he was 81, Burr withdrew the condition, but then he could not talk much, and about the mind of Paul Morpliy, tho chess-player, being affected are mere moonshine, and that Mr. Morphy often takes a hand in the game at New Or­ leans, his residence, giving a knight sniV' cessfully to the strongest players of thft Chess Club of that city. A HAN at Greenville, S. C., made reek- less by drink, made a wager that ha could ride his horse across a railroad track, several hundred yards distant. Davis' materials were too meager, ahead of an approaching train. South- 4 Send for Webb and Verplank,' said ern locomotives are proverbially slow. Burr. We went to his bedside. 4 You , hut this one beat the horse, and tho two write out all the questions you can rider was killed. think of about my life,' Baid Burr, 4 and ! THK fashionable English rage atprea- then come here and read them and I will i ent is |t'or everything American. Amer> _ answer them.' We did so, and tho an- ican ladies are the most eagerly sought 8th of July last. They hired out as j swero formed the basis of Davis' biog- \ for in London society; American writ-era harvest hauds to Mr. Haverish, and on j raphy--which was very partial, like Par- command their own terms in magazines, the night mentioned murdered him and i ton's, and not half true. | especially if they have certificates to robbed his house. i "One day the doctor told Burr that | show that they are real 44 American hn- THE Rock Island County Supervisors I h® would not live till morning. Burr have been investigating the accounts of j turned his eyes toward us and said : past Treasurers, and find $6,267 due 1 'He'8 infernal old fool. Open that from incumbents of the office in the yi ars ! bureau-drawer. It was opened. ' D > - t o from 1866 to 1873 inclusive. Ouo of the ' you Bee a letter on that box? Verplank j oli tlitxt day, and had scarcely finished inculpated Treasurers is Chairman of the i took up the dainty missive. 4 It is from gpeaking when the weapon was accident- Finance Committee of the l>oard, and he , a lauy, said the dying man, 'and she ; ally discharged, and the ball struck her promptly resigned, saying at the same say8 8'ie on ,me . to-morrow. jn breast a little above the hearts time that he was prepared to defend his Anybody who thinks I will die with such g]je died almost ins tan tl v. "• " ' • an appointment as that on hand doesn't know Col. Burr!' in oris ts. A YOUNG man in Warsaw, N. Y., waa found by his mother cleaning a revolver. She reprovt*! him for doing such work 44 How did Burr get a living at the last ?" I asked him. ! 44 He was supported by friends for ! years. He pretended to practioe law; but : he never practiced much. He had no ; sense of honor in money matters. He would borrow $50 on one corner, and j distribute it to anybody who wanted it 1 on the next corner." i Artemus Ward. When, in 1863, Ward conceived the He also produced an organism, hitherto i ,,^'a cf making a lecture tour tlirough unknown, which forms a connecting link between the above-named fungi. GLOVES have a strange, eventful histo­ ry. In the third century a glutton named Pithvlius never dined without gloves. This enabled him to seize, be­ fore his. fellow guests, the hot meats with rapidity; and, to prevent his tongue from being burned, he had it incased in a leather sheath. The origin of gloves is uncertain. However, in the eleventh century, the nobles wore gloves, highly ornamented with cameos, rubies, pearls and emeralds. The dignitaries of the Venetian republic wore gloves, heavily embroidered with gold and pearls. Charlemagne was as famous for his splendid gloves as for his walnut wine. Later, Italy -and Spain introduced the fashion of wearing gloves, with subjects painted thereon like fans. In the six­ teenth and following century, sovereigns accepted presents of gloves, which was more pacific than picking one up when thrown down. How to Cure Exaggeration. Some habits are so uneonsciouly prac­ ticed that a movement to mend them is the only way to detect them. The beam in one's own eye is less noticed than the mote in another person's eye. A family while at the breakfast table one morning pledged to observe the strictest veracity for that day. A mem­ ber ol'the family tells the "consequen­ ces." As a first-fruit of the resolve, we asked the one who suggested it: 44 What made you so late at breakfast this morning?" She hesitated, began with 44 Because I couldn't"--and then, true to heV com­ pact, said: "The truth is, I was lazy and didn't hurry, or I might have been down long ago." Presently one of them remarked that she had been very cold, adding, "I never was so cold in my life." An inquiring look caused the last speaker to modify her statement instantly with: 44 Oh, I don't think I was so cold, after all." A third remark to the effect that 44 Miss So-and-so was the homeliest girl in the city," was recalled as soon as made, the speaker being compelled to own that Miss So-and-so was only rather plain, instead of being excessively homely. So it went on throughout the day, causing much merriment, which was good-naturedly accepted by the subjects, and giving rise to constant corrections in the interest of truth. One thing became more and more sur­ prising, however, to each one of us, and that was the amount of cutting down which our most careless statements de­ manded under this new law.-- Youth's Companion. One passenger is killed by the rail­ roads for every 41,778,775 miles traveled, and one is either killed or wounded for every 11.374,633 ailea. California--a great undertaking in those days--he engaged the writer to accom­ pany liim as an agent, offering a salary that made the insignificant pay of a Cleveland "local" blush with shame. Not knowing that lecturers, aud espe­ cially humorists, have a way of engag­ ing every man as agent who professes a desire to travel, I made all preparations to go, resigned my situation, and anxiously awaited my summons. As I waited various articles were sold to pay expenses. I ate my stove, I re- mcml>er: I think I drank up mv bureau. At length, when nearly everything had gone, I learned that Ward had gone, too, taking another agent. I was nat­ urally incensed, and resolved that there would be a severe settlement when next we met. I rehearsed the anticipated scene frequently, and resolved just how I would go to work and annihilate him. Our meeting was in New York in July, 1864. I had heard of his return from California, and prepared to empty the vials of my wrath upon his head. My slumbering indignation flamed up at once. I thought of the cooking-stove I had devoured, and the various articles of household furniture I drank up, and was about to go for him, when Ward suddenly rushed forward and, grasping me warmly by the hand, exclaimed: "Why, Gris, old boy, how are you? When did you get back from Cali­ fornia?" As I looked at him, speechless with amazement, he continued: 44They told me you came home 4 around the Horn,' but I never knew you to go around a horn yet--join me. ' Now Ward had a very persuasive way of locking his arm in with another's, and in a momentary fit of weakness I went along. " "Ward!" Baid I eternly, "I owe you a licking on account of that California agency business, but will put it off until we drink." "Put it off as long as you want to," replied Ward, in a tone of generous ao- commodation, as though I was speaking about returning him a loan. 44 If you owe me a licking pay me when you get ready. I am in no hurry. Don't care if you never pay it." Numerous were the unavailing efforts that I made to bring Ward to a settle­ ment. When I would commence, "Now, Artemus, how about that California business?" he would interrupt--44Oh, never mind that whipping. No hurry at all. Send it through the mail--or telegraph it. Let's drink." , I have got even, however, in a meas­ ure--I have engaged a number of agents myself.--A. M. Oriswold. / Thought It Was a Mouse. The Newburyport (Mass.) Herald re­ lates the following incident: 44 An elder­ ly lady of this city startled the house­ hold with a piercing shriek and the in­ formation that there was a mouse in her pocket. Some one rushed to her rescue, hastily assisted her to divest herself of How to Be Healthy. If you want to do well, keep well, if yon possibly can. Do not let even your education rob you of your health. It is about the worst thing you can do under the whip and spur of a noble purpose, and it is what vast numbers do to tlieir life-long regret. When a fine painter took the butcher to see one of his pict­ ures, he said, 44 Aye, Maister Haydon, it's a grand picture, but I doubt whether you could have done it if you had not eaten my lieef." And I think there was a grain of truth in the remark. They say that base-ball is getting into the hands of the gamblers, and that young men are shy of it of a £ ood breeding. I should be very sorry to think so. It is the handsomest game that ever was played, and one of the healthiest. Play base-ball, and pull a boat, and get your chance in vacation at long tramps and hard beds aud rough, wholesome fare; eat well and sleep well; be as clean all through and all over as you are in a drawing-room, and then you will not only be able to do your day's work in tliis world like a man, bat when the years bring their inevitable burden you will be able to say with Adam in the play : Though I look old, yet mm I strong and lusty, For in my vouth I never did apply Hot and rebellloua liquors to my blood; Nor did with unbaxhful forehead woo The mean* of weaknexR an-1 debility ; Therefore my age is as a lusty whiter, Frosty, but kliidly. Remember this, too, that, with health and strength to back you, life means hard work, and hard work on long lines, with native ability and good conduct, means success.--Rev. Robert CoUyer An Unpopular Man. Bill collectors, who are only doing their duty and trying to make other men become honest and pay their just debts, have a hard time of it. Everybody thinks it is his right to snub the bdl col­ lector. Poor fellow ! he is perpetually trying to catch sight of the man who has just gone round the corner, -who will be back in five minutes, so the clerk says, but who never comes back until the old bill collector hns gone. It is on record that by some strange fatuity of fortune a collector once found his debtor at home. Such a circumstance nearly took his breath away, for, like the Wandering Jew, he had been flying from pillar to post for nearly a year, and had never oncc found the right man in the right place ; but he took out his battered wal­ let and presented the account, yellow with age, and humbly asked for a settle­ ment. 44 You must call again," was the stern, imperative demand of the man, who never intended to have money enough to pay that bill. The victim with the threadbare clothes and the worn-out shoes suggested that it was not easy to go up three flights of stairs three times a aay m order to find the ominous word 44 out" on the office door: 44 Well," said tbe haughty debtor, 44 perhaps you would like to have me rent a room on the first floor for the sake of my creditors." The old bill collector uttered a deep sigh, put his wallet back into his pocket, ana walked into a back alley where his home was, while the jaunty debtor sprang into his landau and went up to the park for a drive. Such is life. i official accounts. THE Illinois Dairyman's Association ! adopted resolutions calling on the Stale : Legislature to adopt striugeut and com- ; preliensive laws under which parties j guilty of adulterating articles of food : aud drink or drt g t may be severely pun- I islied. A committee was appointed to | urge on the Legislature the desirability of acting in the spirit of the resolutions. Dr. Joseph Tefft was elected President ; of the association for the ensuing year. ; COL. WILLIAM F. ELKIX, son-in-law ! of Edward A. Jones, and father of Cor- j oner Elkin, of Springfield, grandfather J of Mrs. ex-Gov. lloutt, of Denver, Col., i and one of the verv few survivors of the j Black Hawk war, clied at Decatur a few days ago, in the 89th year of his | age. A few weeks ago he was visited j by a stroke of puralysis, from which he j did not recover. Twenty-five and thirty ; years ago Col. Elkin was quite prom­ inent in the public affairs of Illinois, and i at the time of the removal of the Illinois j seat of government from Vandalia to | Springfield he was a member of the j Legislature from Sangamon county. He was quite intimate with the lamented I Lincoln, aud, after the hitter's election , to the Presidency, the deceased was ap­ pointed Register of Public Lands. For j hap, 'the briuge, when finished, was THE raising of horses in the great Yellowstone valley has become an im­ portant and profitable business. Some ot the herders have from 500 to 1,500 eaoh, and dispose of their 3-year-old colts at $50 to $100 per head. The animals feed on grass alone, and the only shelter from the weather is roughly-built sheds. HIKAM BOLTON, Santa Barbara, CaL, lassoed a wild horse and attempted to 44 What was Burr's hold on Blenner- hold by dra^g the riata around a hassett ?" live-oak tree. The tree was rotten and " Weed and others think it was the the hori4e Pu,led down upon Bolton, beautiful Mrs. Blennerhossett, but I I crushing the left side of his chest Be­ think it was Burr's own power of fascina- j verely, injuring his face and head, frac­ tion ou men as well as women. The ex- | tunng his thigh and breaking the pedition wa-t merely a filibustering trip to grab Texas--the very tiling that cost I us so much money when we hnallv sent J Sam Houston to do the same job." J Making Use of Natural Laws. ! Instances of a more complex chara<£- ! ter frequently occur where a knowledge j of natural laws or forces may l>e brought : iuto operation to assist in surmounting 1 difficulties. Thus, a few years ago, an \ iron bridge of considerable length, the j weight being about 200 tons, was con- : structed in England and erected in a re- I mote part of Germany. By some mis- the past fifteen years Col. Elkin has been a member of Mr. Jones' familv. found to be some distance 44 out" to | one side, an error which the proprietors ! insisted should be rectified. To take I down and re-erect the bridge would be i simply ruin to the contractor. But ne- ' cessity is the mother of invention, and : 80 it proved in this case. It was sum- 1 mer time, and the contractor proceeded to find the amount of expansion wnich Illinois Klver. Maj. Lydecker's report -cm the im­ provements in this stream says: The project for the improvement of this river was adopted in 1869, the object being to procure a navigable channel was caused by the heat of the sun over I of his knee into fragments. CONGRESSMAN MCCOOK, of New York, told the President, the other day, thai Miss Worth, a daughter of Gen. Worth- of Mexicrn war fame, was in distressed circumstances. '"What can I do for her?" said the President. "Anything to afford her relief," was the reply, Thereupon the President wrote an order directing her appointment as a clerk in the census office. IN 1876 more than one-half of the mar­ riageable women in England and Walee were spinsters. In 1850 five cf our East­ ern and Middle States had an excess of males, and four an excess of femalee, ranging from 1 per cent, to 7 per cent. In 18C0 only two of the States showed an excess of males, all the others a marked increase of females. In 1870 every one of the Eastern and Middle States had an excess of women, the ex­ cess in Massachusetts and Rhode Island exceediug the ratio of England and Wales. THK ROV, XJQWIA Bftvbcr tli0 the whole length of the bridge. He f most popular negro preacher in Geor- next ascertained what contraction took I ]iat| a circuit of four eongre- place in the night by cooling. Armed J gations, with a membership of about not less than four feet deep at low | water, as a temporary benefit to navi­ gation; this work being preliminary to place in the night by cooling. Armed j and, as far as practicable, a competent • with these data, he thought it might be | 3,000 persons, over whom his sway waa part of the radical improvement of the ; possible to bring the bridge to its proper | absolute in lx>th temporal and spiritna! position in a few days. The bridge, of affairs. He died several months agow course, in its ordinary condition expand- . Over the pulpit of his church in Leo ed from the center, pushing its two ends | comity an emgy of cloth and straw, outward, or farther apart, and again f blackened with charcoal, has been placed contracting toward the center. Taking \ t0 veproseut the dead pastor. This rude advantage of these conditions, one end : image it legorded with awe by the ne» was made fast in the morning, and the j groes, some of whom are said to bow he* i river by the slack-water system. The j natural channel was narrow and crooked, i with not more than fifteen feet depth at i shoalest parts. The amount expended to June 30, 18b0, is $550,450,55, and I has resulted in making channels, having not less than four feet depth, through the worst bars, the^ aggregate length of i bridge was forced to expand from that . £ore j„ WOrsliip. dredged channels being about twenty-four miles ; for maintaining these channels and contracting the water-way, alxrnt 12,000 " linear feet of brush and stone dams have been built, and a valuable immovable point, instead of from the middle, as formerly. When the iron composing the bridge had expanded to its fidl extent in the direction intended, that end was released, and the opposite outfit for carrying on this work has l>een \ end made fast. The bridge then con- procured. Co-operating with the Gen- j tracted toward its true position. Thus, t»rai Government, the State of Illinois ; whatever was gained by the day's ex- has built two locks at a cost of $747,747, ' pansion was secured by the subsequent which givts a depth of seven feet for a : contraction when the metal cooled at distance uinetv miles below LaSalle, the night, and, the process being renewed ' river terminus* of the Illinois and Michi- ( day by day, the work was successfully gan Canal. The act of June 14, 1880, , accomplished. provides that $100,000 ot the amount' therein appropriated shall be expended on locks and dams, there! »v inaugurating the work for completing the slack-water system, by which a depth of seven feet is to be obtained down to the mouth of the river. To accomplish j require, in addition to ! amount of dredging, the construction ' of two locks and dams. The appropria­ tion of $500,000 asked is to bo applied ! to this object; of this amount the sum j of at least $25,000 will be required for j operating the machinery owned by the i United States, aud the balance for build­ ing so much of the locks and dam necessary to make them safe serious damage from natural causes, such as lreslier, running ice, ot drift, , . ,A . , . ..... . etc., to which works of this character dou 1 exP** to for ^ httle are irnble when left unfinished. ! Rny more than I expect to pay y>« Ior July 1. 1HH0. amount available $148,337 81 Amount i-tii'.!ate<l) required for eouiple- tiou of exiHtin« project 800,WW Ot) Amount thxt run be profitably expended in ftacal yuar ending Julie 30, ltfc-Z 500,000 00 Sea Voyages for Invalids. The rapid traveling of large steam vessels is a disadvantage for those who go to sea for the sake of protracted nav­ igation. They reach their destination too soon, and the changes of climate are too ripid. In the voyage to Australia, for instance, a few days after the depart­ ure from England, warm weather is reached ; then hot weather, when the tropic has been passed; moist, as well as hot weather, when the equatorial " Skintillatiag." There is no telling whether a Colo­ rado mine will turn out a bonanza, or 44 peter out." "A man can't see very far into the ground," said an 44 old hand," explaining why mining is so un­ certain. Some settlers take to farming, seeing that the mining camps pay liign prices for food for thousands of men aud beasts. But even fanning, though the crops are abundant, has its risks, as tho following story, told in Mr. Hayee* 44New Colorado," plainly shows: " I was mining up Oentral City," said an 44 old timer," " a»d there came along one day a man wits onions to sell. Wo were glad to get »egetal>les about there. 44 Well, sir, Tdidn't say auything, but I allowed th*t farming must be a better Pushing in, the irate tradesman ex- ! business th*1* mining, and I had better claimed: j go into it myself. So I quit my claim, 44'You haven't got money to pay me j and str*°k a ranch, and hired a Lhitch- for the boots you have got on, but you i man P* $100 a month to take charge, can afford to pay for all manner of deli- ! my vegetables began to cocao cacies." T up And one day, Tim Ewell, a sort at The young man wiped his mustache, j »«arketman, came along and stopped to - - - • - 1 dinner, and I knew he was counting th* s in one of my fields. appearance*- : Then says he, 4 Joe, I must have You must not lose confidence in me. I j those cabbage^' and he offered EM $1,800 for the lot, and I took him up, and he pulled out a bag of gold-dust. But I didn't want it in the house, and I .told him to put it in the bank, and giva» me a check when he liked, and to send for those cabbages any time. "At any rate, there was $30,000 il that crop, and I began to feel (otw. tony* sir, I tell you. "And as I was building my castles fat the air, the sun was kind of obscured* Consolation. An honest shoemaker peering into a restaurant, saw one of his fashion­ able customers seated at a • table covered with all the delicacies of this wiU | the season, including a large bottle of large ! gree11 sea^ and two canvas-back ducks! in, the irate tradesman ex- r build- ! J-ne young man wipeu nis niusmtiie, , v ns as is aild looking arouud to see that he was ' dmner, a uTiiinst D°t overheard, responded in a whisjter: ' cabbages I 44 Don't be deceived by appearance*- • " Then i the boots^ { THOU AS JEFFERSON, the g"*5®* -^meri- I can statesman, after me'X jcars of j j public service, uttered t1®^3 j I ble words : 44 The habj4 of indulging in i i ardent spirits by me* "i office lias occa- j j sioned more injur- the Prul>hc I i all other causes, ^ere I com- j nience my adi*mi8tratlon a8*|u | and I looked up over Table mountaial tho «*,>erienc< I now have. Ule hTf* .nrl " ' - ^ the experienc question I resnectmg a candi­ date won* •• spirits ?" fgr father of a family saw his pi am despoiled of their unit. Suspect- ia, his children, he called them all to­ other, and said: 4* One of you has stolen calms have been reached. As the ves- way plums, and I know which is the sel arrives near the southern limit of ite, guilty oue, for he has a leaf on the end navigation, in the Pacific oce»o, t̂ 5 \ of his nose." And the guilty one had temperature again becomes coJfl--Als* the naivete, foreseen by |the father, to tralia being reached in about/tortyAye denoun.ee himself by robbing the end ot days. All these extreme changes *thin his nose. and saw a queer kind of a cloud. An4 while I was looking, out came the sun, and the Kir was full of millions of Ha mond points, just ikiatiUatiHff, tkitUU- lating, sir. "And what was it? Grasshoppeflf wings ! And they settled down, son* inches deep, on my ranch, and out off my $30,000 worth, I had--one hatful of lettuce that was under glaaa I " WHH the baby cries for "hraad" % ia the most natural thing in tfc* for the mother to givoit a rock.