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^ MT Avm ; ;-W -- I've and oldish maiden aunt, >.}Wh» to growing gray and «»ont, -•» | ..*W» r« tortr MH tor y*#-: ' Ktnriu-rMktrnt. EVERYBODY IOT«* my aunt: • *" SajtiiiK soiuehow, what I can't, : • 4 la iMr I'hfsugh I l*T« her 1uH a* well, ADDOT E quite iunoeaoUy t«U Her queer Vy aunt Hannah Unthnt y«t, *: And get* straightway in a pet, • h«r youth you dans debate, , Or doubt insinuate Ora 4;: Of her at* Jrhito tli* "men folk " deep at mora, ' $7 Heeding never bell or horn, . . . . At our doors; *:Md I abe alumbereth not, nor aleepeth. . > .•' But abe riaeth np and aweeppth A" *he l«n &uatH)i the ny own snug study, AskethSuaan, " Weren't It mo Uy f- . 1V Lata o* afehtsf* 1 * MB she 3<re#' fth aye ** siiuta, And | lennially putt elk tuiuge "Ail terigtoa." *T aaat Hannali wean a cap; Such another y.>u, mayhap, * „ May haveaeao; U yeu .now one Mrs. F<irnham, »>. u, tiaply, o'er at Burnum'a You have been. . *«#. her autumn groweth dwiy, Site guelii wan and weary, ' . , To her gtav»t None she leavea, to those who know her: v Nobler, gentler, Under, truer, *,«' Or IIMM*LMW.! • • • --Steu.f>en9iiJe Hermit . fllE COFFEE-POT. ' Frm the rreoeh. by Thraphite (taatlrr. Last year I was iuvifced, Tfith two of »y Btudio companions, Arrigo Cobie and Pedrino Borguioli, to pass a few days at » country Louse in the heart of Nor­ mandy. The weather, which at the time of our departure promised to be su berlt, changed suddeuly, and so much rain fell that the roads which we passed were like the bed of a torrent. We sank in the mud up to our knees, the soles of our boots were clogged with a thick coating of clayey mud, the weight of which re­ tarded our steps so much that we did arrive at our destination until an hour aftef sunset. , We were harassed, and so our host, Beeing the eftbrts that we had to make m order to repress our yawns and to keep our eyes open, had us shown each to our chamber as soou as supper was over. My chamber was vast; [ felt, as I en­ tered it, ae it were, a shudder of fever, for it seemed to me that I was entering a new world. Indeed, you might have be­ lieved yourself in the days of the Re­ gency, to see above the panels by Boucher, representing the four seasons, the furniture overloaded with rocaillc ornaments iu the .worst taste, and the heavily carved looking-glass frames. Nothing had been disturbed. The toilet table, covered with combs, brushes arid powder-boxes, seemed to have beeu in use an hour ago. Two or -three dresses of changing colors, a fan covered with silver spangles, lay carelessly on the pol­ ished oak floor, and to my great aston­ ishment« tortoise-shell snuff-box, open on the chimney-piece, was full of fresh tobacco. I did not notice these things until the servant, after placing the candlestick on the table, had wished me good night, aud I confess, I began .to tremble like a leaf. I undressed myself promptly, went to bed, and in order to have done with my fo >lish fears, I soon closed my ey<. s aud turned my face toward the wall. But it was impossible ,,for me to remain iu this position ; the bed began to move beneath me like a wavo, .my eyelids were drawn violently back. I was* obliged to turn aud see. ___ __ ^ _ , T!T6 hlazin^'Sre cast mretfrefleetion in the apartmeiit, so that the figures of tho tapas&ry, and of the smoky portraits that ; huiigcn the walls, could be easily dis- tinguiehttd. They were .the ancestors of our host, chevaliers swathed in iron, councilors in periwigs, .and fair ladies with painted faces and white-powdered hair, holding a rose in their hand. Suddenly, the fire became strangely active, *a bleared light illuminated the chamber, and I saw clearly what I had taken Sor vaiu paintings, was a reality, for the eyes of the framed beings begau to moweandto spar kip in a strauge man­ ner, their lips opened aud-closed like the lips of people speaking, but I heard nothu^ibutithe ticktick of ttlie clock andt the whittling of the autumu wiud. An insuperable .terror seized me, my hair stood on end, my teeth chattered, my body was lxttlied iu n cold sweat. The clock struck eleven. The vibration of the last, stroke sang long in the air, aud when it died away entire * * * Oh! m;'! T-clare not say Trihftt happened^ no one would believe me. I -should be tpkeu for a. madman. The .candles light­ ed of themselves; the bellowe, without any visible being touching ithem, began to blow the fire, rattling tlike an asth­ matic <*ld man, while the .tongs stirred the billets of wood aud the shovel gath­ ered up ithe fashes. Then a coffee-pot bounded irom. the table on which it had been yJaeed, and went hobbing along toward the fire-brands. A few min­ utes afteward the arm-chairs begau to move, sad, agitating their rtwisted feet in a surprising manner, came and canged themselves, around the fire. I did IK*1; know what to thiiik'Of .what I saw. Ins*, what-remained for (to see was still more extraordinary. One of the portraits--the oldest of all, that of a fat, chubby, gray-bearded man, resembling .remarkably the idea I had formed to May self of Sir John iFalataff, pushed his head out of the fraistte with a , grimace, and after having, with great ef­ fort. forc-il Jiis shoulders and Ids fair, -lonnd belly te*4ween the narrow-gilded border, he jumped down heavily. He had no sooner taken breath than be drew from is be poci*;t of his doublet* wonderfully st»all key ; he blew on it to aee that the hole was olear, ariQ then ap- pli«d it to all the frames, one after the other; aud all the frames became en- Jurired, so JUS 1VI allow the figures which tiiey<^ontainedt(i>3&fcs6'tb9ough with ease. Li&le, doll-like babies, dry and yellow .dowagers, grave sag&gistrttes buried in large Llack robes, petits maitres iu eilk stockings aud pruuello breeches--all these parsonages presented su<'h an old specta- «e that on spite of naif M^kt I could oat 8»elp laut,fling. These worthy folks sot <down ; tbk£ coffee-pot bounded lightly on 4jhe table. They took coffee in cu])s of vine and irtfcite Japaue*^ jwrudaia, which *au up spostaueously fr«»m the top of a aeeretary; «ach one provided with a LUMP «f suijjw and a little silver spoon. When the ooffee had ieien, cof- fee-pot, cu»)s #.ud spoons disappeared all a£<jnee, iincf conversation i»egan. S<x>th to my, it was tie most curious conversa­ tion that I hitve ewer heard, for none of tho*e strange talkers looked at the ,<a£her while he spoke ; iltey nil had their <#yes fixed upon the ciotk. At htst tnid'ki^ht struck; a vr^oe, ihn tone of which WAS identical with tin* of the bell of tta clock, was heard : "This is the hour; ««; mnst dance." I forgot to say that the subjects of the •tapestry were, on one side, an Italian concert, and on the other a stag-hunt with huntsmen, and the musicians, who, until then, had not made auy gestures, bowed the head in token of adhesion. The maestro raised his wand and lively dance music sounded from one end of tho room. The first dance was a minuet. But the rapid notes of the soore har­ monized badly with those grave courte­ sies, and so fitter a tew minutes each of the couple began to pirouette liko a Dutch top. The silk dreSses of the wo­ men, crumpled in the gid.lv maze of the dance, gave forth an odd sound, like the •ound of whirring pigeons' wings. The wind filling them Horn beneatu puffed them out so that they looked like swing­ ing bells. * r The bows of the fiddlers passed so ^rapidly over the strings that electric ^sparks flew out. The fingers of the flute players moved up and down like quick­ silver ; the cheeks of the huntsman were swollen out like balloons, and all that iormed a deluge of notes aud rills so hurried and of ascendiug and de­ scending gamut so complicated, so in­ conceivable, that the very demous could Hot have followed such a measure for two minutes. It was pitiful to see all the efforts of those dancers to catch the time. They bounded and whirled round and pirouetted until the sweat poured down their foreheads over their eyes, and carried away their pain and patches. But it was all in vain, the orchestra "was always three or four notes in ad­ vance. The clock struck one; they slopped. 1 then saw something which had escaped my notice--a woman who was not danc­ ing; She was seated on a low chair in the chimney corner and did not seem to take the least part in the world in what was goiug on around her. Never, even in a dream, had anything so perfect presented itself to my eyes ; a skin of dazzling brightness, hair blonde oendre, long eyelashes, and blue eyes, so clear and transparent that I saw her soul through them as distinctly as a stone in a brook. And I felt that if ever I came to iove any'iKidy it would be her. I jumped out of bed, from which I had not yet dared to stir, and weut\toward her, conducted by some iustinct iu me which I could not explain. I found my­ self at her knees, one of her hands in mine, talking with her as if I had kuown her for twenty years. But a strange prodigy, while speaking to her, I marked the music with a move­ ment of my head. It had not ceased to play, and, although it was for me the height of happiness to talk with such a beautiful woman, my feet were burning to dance with her. 'Still, I did not dare to make the proposition. It seems she understood what I wanted, for, raising her hand toward the dial of the clock, she said: "When the needle shall be there, we will see^ my dear Theodore." I know not how it happened, but I was in no way surprised to hear myself call­ ed by my name, and we continued to talk. At last, when the appointed hour struck, the silvery voice vibrated ouce more in the chamber, and said: " Angela, you may dance with the gen- tlemau, if you please; but you know what will be the result. ** " No matter," replied Angela, in a pouting tone. She passed her ivory arm around mv neck. " Prestissimo"!" cried the voice. And we began to waltz. The bosom of the young girl touched mine, her velvet cheek skimmed mv own. Never in my life had I experienced «ucli emotion ; my nerves quivered like springs of steel, my blood flowed in my vein* like torreuts of lavs., said I heard my henrt beat as if a watch were ticking in my ear. Still thfs state had nothing paiuful in it I wasiu a Mood of ineffable joy and I could have wished to have remained always as I was, and remarkably enough, althongh the orchestra had tripled its quickness, we needed no effort to follow it. i The bystanders, astonished at our agil­ ity, cried bravo, and clapped their hands with all their might -without producing any noise. Angela, who until iihen had waltzed with surprising energy and precision, seemed suddenly to become fatigued; she hung on my shoulders as if her limbs lnul failed her: her little feet, which a miocte ago had hardly touched the floor, rose elowly as if they had .been weight­ ed with lead. "Angela, you ar<r weary,"I said to her; " let ns rest." '•res." she replied, wiping her brow with her handkerchief; "but while we h^ve been dancing -they have all sat xlow»; there is only .one chair, and we are me. " " What does that imotter, my angel ? I will take you on iny knees." Without making the slightest objec­ tion, A ngela sat down, threw her arms like a white scarf round my neck, and hid her head iu my bosom to warm her­ self a little, for she had become cold as marbk:. I know not how long-we remained in that position, for my -senses were all absorbed in the contemplation of this mysterious and fautasAic creature. I had no longor.any idea of itime or plaoc ; the real W<J®1£ no longer existed for me, and all the bends which bound me to it were broken, my sottl, disengaged from its earthly poison, was flwstiug in vague in­ finity. I understood tiist which no anan can understand; the tlmv.ghts of Angela were revealed to me without her neeiing to speak, for her soul S1»©IM> through her body like .a ilamp of alabaster, and the rays from her breast piereeJ .mine. good opportunity for the® to simper and give themselves airs." r" " It is only weakness," I replied dryly ; I am subject to these flk" I rose and divested myself of my ridiculous oostnme. At breakfast my three companions at* heartily; I hardly tasted anything. The memory of what had passed distracted me. After breakfast, as it was raining steadily, there was no possibility of go­ ing out: each occupied himself as best he could. Borgnioli beat a warlike devil 8 tatoo on the window-panes : Arri­ go and our host played draughts ; I took out my sketch book and began to draw. The almost imperceptible lineaments fccaced by my pencil, without my having thought in the least what I was draw­ ing, resembled with marvelous exacti­ tude the coffee-pot which had played such an important role in the scenes of the night. " It is astonishing how that head re­ sembles my sister Angela," said our host, who had finished his game and was watching me draw. Indeed, that which just now hid seemed to be a coffee-pot was in reality the sweet tad melancholy profile of An­ gela. " By all the saints in Paradise ! Ts FACTS FOB THE CURIOUS. WHEN reduced to extremity by han­ ger, the wolf will swallow mud in order to allay the uneasy sensations of his stomach. THERE is a species of crow in Flor­ ida that gives vent to a series of haw I haws ! in exact imitation of the human voioe 1 } A WILD elephant may generally be tamed, so as to be conducted from place to place unfettered, in about six months. IN the Guildford Endowed Grammar School, in England, where the school­ master is held responsible for every vol­ ume, which, if lost, he is bound to re­ place, one master, to decrease his risk, carefully packed all the books under the floor, where they proved a banquet for the rats and mice. THE curious library erf old Samuel Pepys, the well-known diarist, is im­ prisoned in its original book-cases at Magdalene College, Cambridge. No one can gain admission to it except in the company of two Fellows of the col­ lege, and, if a single book is lost, the whole collection goes to a neighboring college. Thb Norwegian lemming is an about the size of , „ri iu larautse: is aDout tbe size of a mouse. Thev live L i ^ , * • * . « « » » * « > • voice, as if my life depended on hiB answer. " She died two years ago from inflam­ mation of the luugB, caught coming home from a ball." " Alas !" I replied, painfully. Aud, restraining a tear that was ready to fall, I closed my sketch book. I felt that there was no longer any happiuess on earth for me. 'From the Chicago Western Catholic.) TnE latest man who has been made hap­ py through theuse of this valuable liniment is Mr. James A. Cnnhtn, Librarian of the Union Catholic Library of this city. The following is Mr. Oonlan's indorsement: Ukion CATHOLIC LIBRARY ASSOCIATION, ) 204 Dkakbohj* Stkkkt, . Chicaoo, Sept. 16, 1880. ^ I wish to add mv testimony as to the mer­ its of St. Jacobs Oil as a cure for rheuma­ tism. One bottle has cured me of this trou- blesome disease, which gave me a great deal of bother for a long time; but, thanks to the remedy, I am cured. This statement is un­ solicited by any one in its interest JAMES A. CONLAN, Librarian. woman, and followed by a company of young maidens, who were called bride - maids. The Saxon forewistaman of tn? ninth century is the prototype of the English " best man " of the nineteenth. ** Wama Jleve? Thiak," If the crabbed otd bachelor who uttered thia sentiment could but witness tUe luteuee thought, deep study and thorough investigation of women in determining the Ltc-gt medicines to keep their families we ), and would note their sagacity and wisdom in selecting Hop Bitters as the bent, and demonstrating it by keeping their families iu perpetual health, at a mere nominal expense, he would be forced to acknowledge that xtich senti­ ments are baseless aud false.--Picayune. THK Milwaukee Enening Wisconsin says tl e NBRTHWEFTRUNR HORSE NAIL Co., the " home in tbe count rv. whos« great niccesa is due to its entetpnuiig Vnaniger. A. W. Kingalaul, makes five Ions daily of the best horse nails in the world, and has more ordi r* than it can fill. Ukcle HAH S COMMON POWMMI ARE rec­ ommended by stock-owners who have used mem as the lieet Horse and Cattle Mcdicine to be Lad. If the animal is Scraggy, Spiritless, or ! has no appetite, these Powders" are an excel- I lent remedy, and every ovrner of stock will do j well to try thitn. They are prepared by the i Enunert Proprietary Co., Chicago, UL, a van i reliable firm, and eold by all good droggifta. j 1*"*® COD LIVEB OIL made from selected • on ,ho ashore, bv Caswell. Hazard & Big Water on the Mississippi in 1844. ^:.,. tNe^,Yott* ft is absolutely pure and -- -f-wwuwiClT sweet Patients who have once taken it pi it to all others. Physicians have pure en it prefer Fencing. Fencing is fallen very far from the high estate it held in the time of the great Italian and French masters, who brought it to a degree of perfection scarcely conceivable by those who have not read their elaborate treatises and studied tho almost-endless variety of beautiful drawings by which their pre­ cepts are illustrated. Fencing is now recommended, not oidy because it is the best method of giving grace and agility to the body, but because it supplies a resource which at any moment may be­ come of value, so that its claims sure still strong to hold a place in the pro­ gramme lor the education of the finished gentleman. Beside these motives fcnc- mg possesses historic interest, and that eve must be unappreciative, indeed, which cannot see a high degree of beauty in an encounter between two ac­ complished fencers. Franco can to-day claim the best. There arc many rea­ sons for this fact. Some attribute it to the agility and acknowledged power of rapid physical action possess id by this nation ; others to their natural vivacity and natural nimblenoss ; and still oth­ ers to tneir almost romantic love for physical training. The French were inade to be good swordsmen. Tho na­ tional standard (about hve feet seven inches) is the height best calculated to contain all the elements of strength without superfluous weight. With them every regiment had its fencing-school, and of so much importance was the proper teaching^ of this art considered that Lotus XIV. granted lettors-patent to a number of eminent teachers who alone were permitted to teach in Paris. When a vacancy occurred neither iufln ence nor lavor could suffice to obtain this privilege. The applicant was obliged to fence in public with six chosen teachers, and if by any of them he was beaten by two more than a majority of kite he was rejected as unqualified to teach iu the capital. The moat eminent European physicians have earnestly recommended fencing to all men between the ages of 17 and 40 years. It is ap­ parent that the altitudes and exertions of fencing are conducive to the most symmetrical physical development. Sir Kserard Home says of tins beautiful art; " Of all the different modes in which the body can lie exorcised, there is none in my judgment that is capable of giving strength aud elasticity, as well as precision, to the action of all the **»!- uutarv muscles of the body in an equal degree as the practice of fencing, and uooe moie conducive to bodily health." Main' similar extracts from letters ot able physician" might be given, Iwt it is sufficient to ku>ow that they all speak highly of it. Morning or evening is the best time for fencing for exercise. In England we may iind in at least hole ot tike houses of professional men tails aud masks. Of late years feucmg has b.-guu to regain its old position. The man feels better, works 1 letter and has a clearer bruin who takes this exercise. Broad shoulders, expanded chest and Hi) erect ciu-riagc are certain results of it. snow in winter. They hiss and bite. About once in ten years they migrate in large armies. They march in a straight line. They cross lakes and rivers. They go straight through hay-stacks rather than go around. Nothing stops them, not fires, cascades nor swamps. If a man stands in their way thev will • » i » i - i . , » •' J »Jv*aav v* W'lv. UUiilKOi J.UC1C WOO UU J? I m MI I1 88 knee. If ! means of locomotion except the skiff ftrnii'l/ thnv nrill tnmi J i i_ • .* . . . t * , and the humble but ever-serviceable dug-out--nowhere to go and nobody within a day's journey otherwise or more comfortably situated. The only sense of sympathy from without was had from remote and infrequent glimpses of the gallant steamer J. M. White, which, leaping from Doiut to point, made bet­ ter time from New Orleans to St. Louis than was ever made, before or for many years after. That year, nineteen plantations out of twenty failed to produce a single pound of cotton or a single bushel of corn, and when the flood was over and the swamp Noahs came out of their respect­ ive arks, they were, to say the least, malcontent. They were not ruined, of course, but they had lost a whole year's gross income. Moreover, the prestige of the swamp as a cotton country' was wofully diminished. The planters in the " Hills," as the uplands are denom­ inated, began to hold up their heads, no longer overcrowed by the extraordinary crops alleged to have been heretofore produced in the swamp. The swamp-planters set to work to re­ deem the disaster, and to provide, as far as possible, against its recurrence. With the purpose of retrieving their financitd fortunes they took some unique measures. There is a tradition that, at a public meeting hold in Green­ ville, Miss., in October, 1814, among other more commonplace resolu­ tions one was gravely and uuauimously adopted to the effect that a demand for payment within twelve months from that date of any debt, great cr small, iq>ou any planter who had lxien over­ flowed that year, should be considered distinctly "personal"--a claar case for pistols and coffee. Tho code w&s cer­ tainly si. curious institution, but proba­ bly this is the only instance in which it was expected to do duty aa a stay-law.-- " The Lever# of the MisvinHpfii," in Sttribncr. Trodhakds testify to the curitive properties of Ltdia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound , ,^ife f .to® Mississippi swamp is . »wu,re. rnysician. have decide^ila^ unique, but, perhaps, never so much ao perior to any of the other oils in market, as during that memorable summer. The shallowest water, for indefinite miles in any direction, was two feet deep, the nearest land the " Hills of Arkan- saw," thirty miles away. The mules wore quartered on the upper floor of the gin-liouse; the cattle had all been drowned long ago; planter, negroes and overseer were confined in their re­ spective domiciles ; the grist-mill was under water, and there was no means of preparing corn for culinary purposes ex­ cept a wooden Hominy-mortar. The hog-and-hominy diet (so highly extolled by some people who have never lived on it) was adopted of necessity, the former being represented by mess pork, salter than tongue can tell. * There were no visitors, except now and then a so­ ciable snake, which, no doubt bored by swimming arornd indefinitely in the overflow, and craving even human com­ panionship, would glide up on the gallery of some of the houses. There was no KL:*t l hl> I'KO.LL DEATH. WUH*m J.Coogblm,of 8om*rrlll«, I*r»: In Uu fall of 1876 I ni taken with bl«*dlne of the hrnga, fol. Sowed by a MTar* cough. I loat my appatito and 1--h j aad waa oonfined to my bod. In 1877 I w»* admitted to the hoapitai. THT doctor* sold 1 had a hole in my lcnx aa " • W dollar. At one time a report inmt aryntul ' "*• da*d. 1 |att np hop*, but a friend told ma of Da. W 11,1.5am Hall's BALSAM WOa THE Lroroa. I |ol a bottle, when, to my nirprhc, I oommenoad to feel bet- ! *ae, and to day 1 f«il batter than for thi*« yean paau I i wHU thia hopisc «vary on© sfflicted with dtaoaaed longs < wUl take D».WILLIAM HALL'S iSUx.IAK,and bacon- I vtDMd th«tcn*arj(ri »ON C<,n RJC cs iub. I oan poai- 1 ttanjr Bay fit hu doot moi« good than %I1 tiu other i mmm I but UUfcen since bu fi^mi j struck they will turn around and bark and bite like a dog. Foxes, lynxes, owls, hawks and weasels will follow them and destroy large numlnrs of them, but it does not check them. They continue their course until they reach the sea into which they plunge, as persistent and progressive em ever, until the waves exterminate them.' THE microscope shows a variation in the thickness of luimau hair from the 1-250th to tho l-600th part of an inch; but, notwithstanding such fineness, it is a massive cable iu comparison with other fibers. Tims the thread of the silk-worm is many times finer, being from the 1-1,700th to the l-2,000th of an inch. This, however, is nothing to the slenderne8s of the spider's thread, which has been found ill some instances to be no more than l-30„OOOtli of an inch in diameter. The fibers yielded by the vegetable kingdom are al o of astonish­ ing minutenoss. Thus, every fiber of flax is found to be composed of a bundle of other fibrils, which are about 1-2,500th of an inch in diameter. Simi­ lar filters obtained from the pineapple plant have been ascertained to be no more than 1-5,000th or even 1-7,000th of an inch in diameter. IN the British &ouse of Lords Lord Brougham once mentioned two some­ what-remarkable .facts showing the ne­ cessity ot haviug a safe place for the deposit of wills. The first case is one in which one of his noble friends, as heir- at-law, lost, and another of his noble friends, as a devisee, gained, £30,000 a year. How the first lost it, and the last gained it, was by a will lieiug found in an old rusty box, in an old traveling carriage, and which, therefore, might have been very naturally lost by acci­ dent or destroyed by ignorance. The second case was one, also, in which some of liis noble friends were con­ cerned, and the sum in question was no less than £160,000. This sum would have been entirely lost for the purposes for which it waa-intended if the inquiries relative to the existence of a will with respect to it had lioen instituted in win­ ter instead of in the summer. The will was searclied for every« nere, but could nowhere be found, until, at last, it was discovered in a grate, and stuffed like a piece cf waste paper through the ban* if it had been winter instead of summer, in all probability when the tire lnul l»«eu lighted it would have been destroyed. " 1 Don't Waal thut scuff!" Is what a lady or Boston suit] to iter husband when he brought JUouic some mtdietne to cure her of sick headache and neuralgisi wbicii had made her miserable for fourteen years. At the lirst attack thereafter it wan administered to her with such good results that she continued its usti until cured, aud was so enthusiastic in its praise that she luduoel twenty-two of the Lost families in her c tele to adopt it as their regular tamly nu-dicine. That "stuff" ts Hop Bitten. --StaivlanL in all female complaints. Kissing Fair. If any had supposed it would turn out tbe way it did, the scheme would not have I men adopted, but the object was a cliuriiable one, and the committee on in­ vitation were very careful to avoid the presence of any disagreeable or unpopu­ lar person. The following price-list was finally adopted. For one go-as-vou- plcaao squeeze of one minute, ud one kiss, terms cash, ill advance : Glr « under l'S <ah-i« /iu.n IS to 20 Ladies from to 'JA Muinwl laditw under 30 Marrlnl Urita* from SUUM U iilowa under -I I M.Jden ludltw fmm :h) to 4u kUidcu Jldiea over 40 fl'rom the Kan-u? City Mall.] MEMRF.it of this Department relieved of Rhcumatiksm by the use of St. Jacota Oil, says Goo. W. Walling, Esq., Superintendent Police, Jfew York, iu oae of our exchanges. Air Tour Beds.. Be sure to let the £resh air, and, if possible, the sun have free acoess to it an hour or more before making up. Have the sheet k>ng enough to turn under the mattress at the foot, the lower one tbe same at the head, but fold the upper The ltrit «ang, a pale slight played among tlus curtains. As soou as Angela saw it, she roue precipitately:, nsade a sign cf farewell, and after a <ew.«teps, she aoreamed and :fcll. •Seized with tterror, I sprang forward. My blood freezes at the thon^bt:; I found nothing but the coffee-pot broken into a ' sheet well oa er tho bedding. This will ith«Kisand fragmec^«. Wave the epulis from bec-oaiing soiled by Ait the sight of jthis, peroaa£t>2 that I ,the sleep's ibreath. When a bed has had been the spout of some diabolic de- . Veen occupied all winter, everything luflioM, I was so ©Kerpowered witk fright about it should be washed in the spring. fa* wash a feather-tick, choose fair weather so thai you can dry it out-door. Crowd the feathers iuto one end of the tick and tie firiajy iu the eenter. Wash tlie<empty end and when dry shake the feathers into thai, tie again and wash the otiter half. Corn-husk beds are much nicer than straw, oc fcliey are not *o dusty, and with the addition of a fresh husks /rom time to time, will last for years. They may he freshed by turning the hunks out iu the sun and air for a day or two aud siftiug out the ftue stuff. In winter never keep sheets on a bed that is seldom used. They will gather dampness aud render themselves very uucomfortalrfe, perhaps fatal, to your guest. Make up the bed without the sheets and add them when needed. that I fainted. •WIkmi I became •conscious acaiii J was in my bed : Arrigo O>hio and Palrino Borgnioli were staiK%2)g at the head. As «oon as X opened my^yes, Arrigo .died: "Ah! at last! For the last hemr I have beeu rubbing ymrr temples with eav de Cologne. What on earth have von been doing in the night ? This morn­ ing. seeing that you did not come down, I entered your room ctid found y<*i stretched fail length upon the floor, dressed m ait old Louis XVI. costume, and pressing in your arms a fragmeut of broken porceKan. as if it had been a beautiful vouug lady." " Punii^u ! it is grandfather's wed­ ding coat." said the other, lifting up one of the tails cf th<' rose-colored silk with a green figure. "There are the strass and filigree buttons that lie used to l>oast about Theodore must have found it in All the assembly rost. Tiit arm-chairs j corner, and have put it on for fnu. dre,v back of their own accord; then 1 it-* nm r«i»f v" nAAaA Ron? each cavaiier took the liadkl of a lady, and the same voice said : "Come, gentlemen of the orchestra, begin." Jfcti what made you famt ? ' added Borg- nicfli, " Tbn* is all very well for young girls with white shoulders; you unlace her , coreeta, tak e off her necklace, and it is a The Wit «r Words. A pun, to be perfect iu its kind, should contain two distinct meanings--the one common aud obvious; the other more remote; aud iu the notice which the mind takes of the relation between these two sets of words, and iu the surprise which that relation excites, the pleasure of a pun consists. Hiss Hamilton, in her book on education, mentions the in­ stance of a boy so very neglectful that he could never be brought to read the word patriarchs; btit whenever he met with it he called it partridges. It could hardly lie considered ns a mere piece of negligeuce, tor it appeared to her that the boy, in calling them partridges, was making game of the patriarchs. Now. here are two distinct meanings contained iu the same phrase ; for to make game of the patriarchs is to laugh at them, or to make game of them i», by- a very extrav­ agant aud laughable sort of ignorance of words, to rank them among pheasants, partridges and other such delicacies which the law takes under its protection and calls game; aud tbe whole pleasure derived from the puu consists in the sud­ den discovery that two such different meanings are referable to one form of expression. I have very little to say about puns; they are in very bad repute, and so they ought to be. The wit of language is so miserably inferior to the wit of ideas, that it is very deservedly driven out of good company. Sometimes, indeed, a puu makes its appearance which seems for a moment to redeem its species; but we must not be deceived by them; it is a radically bad race of wit By unremitting persecution it lias been at last got under and driven into clois­ ters from whence it must never again be suffered to emerge into the iight of the world.--Sidney Smith. "DID you find Mr. Bpriggins, Pat­ rick?" "I did, sun*." "What did he say?" " Niver a wormd, surr," "Not a word?" "Not a wormd." "Why not, Patrick?" "Because he was out, surr." "Out! I thought you said vou /onnd him." "I did, surr; I found trim on'," • The Bridegroom's "Best Man." The custom of a bridegroom's being attended on his marriage by a friend or relative, who is styled the " best man," HO practiced at weddings in the present day, is of great antiquity, descending from our Saxon ancestors. In thpir time marriages were always celebrated iu the house of a bridegioom. On the day before the wedding all his iriends and relations, haviug been invited, ar­ rived ai his house and spent the time in fe istiug and in preparing for the ap- proachiugf ceremony. Next came the bridegroom's company mounted on horseback, completely armed, who pro­ ceeded iu great ttate and order, under the command of one who w;w culled the fbrewistatnanorforemottouui, t > receive and conduct the bride iu calefy to the house of her future hmbend. Ti.e bride, in her turn, was itteii iea by her j guardian and other male relative.*. Jed t>y a matron, who wat> cali%id the bodes* J • .2". 5d 7> . 1. 0 a» v. 5J ... Two fur a tiick<-| The gentlemen were all gathered in the diunig-l'oom and the hidies in the parloj. Iu the library was u committee of two--a lady aud a gentleman (the hit­ ter being time-keep.'r)--and they called in the gentlemen oue oy one. E:ich was shown a schedule of prices aud n list <>f the ladies preseut, and, when one selected the laJy he wanted to kiss, she wait called in and the trau&Lctiou oc­ curred iu the presence of the committee. In cases where the squeeze was pro­ longed beyond the schedule time, or an additional suiack taken, a line of double price was charged for every miuute in excess, and in several cases the fines were lieavy, but were paid without a murmur. The whole affair was confi­ dential, aud nouc but the committee were to know who kissed who.-- Home (Qa.) Courier. ltiDXKY-WonT abvays relieves and cures the worst cases ot piles and c >iistipt<lion. A Uhost Oar* Says a San Francisco paper: "The Ex­ press Company frequen tly carries corpses over the Central Pacific Railroad, and until recently the messengers paid no more attention to a 'bone box' than to a sack of potatoes. But it is different now. One of the express cars, which was noted as having been the conveyance of more occupied coffins than any other on the line, a short time since was the scene of most unacoonutable movements. The employes credit the mysterious effects to supernatural causes, and the messen­ gers unite in saying that they would rather be discharged than run another trip in what they call 'the haunted car." Warner** Safe Kidney and Liver Cure. GREAT GERMAN REMEDY torn RHEUMATISM, NEURALGIA, SCIATICA, LUMBAGO, BACKACHE, GOUT, SORENEM ortas CHEST, SORi THROAT, QUINST, SWELLING* AH® 8P14IWB, FROSTED FEET Am EARS, sxjxisrai in lOAXiOSp QauMBotfflyM* TOOTH, EAR HEADACHK, ILL DTHIR PURS ______ ACHBFT No Pr*|*ratloa oa with aqasli IT. JACOBS OIL M a UL% «»«!». n«it and cat*r External Rtmni?. A trialMlftQi bat THE <wmparatlT«lT trifling c-utUy ot SOCKNTS. an<«*M* «M suffering witk pailn eu hare ehtap aoA pojittT* gnttm TOMMS, BIUCRIOMI IH ILXTXK LAMCAOIH. «*• IV *U MtMISTS jun UMUSIR A. VOQELER * CO« £<*Uimor», Md., k*^T2, ,or **• and VtotrtU A. Sailing Pictorial Boolu and B'.blsa. Prices nduccd U per ct. NATIONAL Pcblishino CO.. Chlcaco, 11L YOUHS MEN^~0,S3!ifi.S™.Sa,Sr TAS OAEES. Addrm Vauxtikb BROS..J*M<VU1*.WU 1PTII111 Corod by German Aathma Core. Atrial HA I (IIMBcnvincva Hip most skept.cal. Free of • llllinI)U K, Schiffmann, Si. Paul, Minn._ alA A WKRK 91Sa <ta; at home ea'lly mad*. Oo«U> 9l outfit froK. A<1<1roaa TSCC A CO.. Anfricta. Me D" iOS Ststa»t.,Ohtcm*o, treat*no-ceMlulir Throat and Lung DIMUH bjr InhalaUoa. DOES IWONDERFIII. CURES! it aete m tl» LITER. Mffl u4E»5mittt«i Became It elcMms tb«*yat*nof( l o a h u m o r s t h a t d e v e l o p s i n T T t r t -- m Inary Diaeasea, BiltotwiMRM, TaniliUee. < Ipstlon.PUcs, op la BIm |V«i ruaa Dieorders u<i Tmval® CowpMtta' an WIIAI nam bat > Eagene H. Stork, of JunrUeB CKr. Kauw.l "•**» Kidm-jr-Wort ctir«i liim kflemcnlaj' Phy- (Kionii ha«l been for fonfe JIr=. Joint Arnall.cf Waabiagtea, ' ber iiojr vntgimn uti t<> til* by tm-- physicians mid tliat lie was nil Kid:icr-Wort. M. >1. B. Cooilwlii, an editor la leajsiiewas »i..t oxpevt»{ to lite, Ibejroiitl belief, but Kliiiu-j Wneie I Anna J.trrOt «f Bonth Salea^ IV. I tbat Keren jears sufTeriutr from kfdMJ land other complication* mu i'aded b» II IKIURej-Wort. Jolm B. l^arrreiwe of Jarksoil. Tenn., *•! I for years from lt*er mid kidney troll MM lafter taking "Imrrel* of other nJlet IKUr.ey-Woit made bin well. Ulclm'l Con of Houtiromerr Center, l*off»rcd olght year* with kidney dlOeaity i Iwas imsiile to work. Kidney-Wo " " well Merer." K i D N E Y - W O R T PERMANCNTLV CUKKS IKIDNEY DISEASES, LIVER COMPLAINTS*! |Constipation and Piles. I Wll Is put u» in Dry Yt«t>aMe , I tin one pacua^e of whicu nukttnx quart*I lof medicine. Al >o lii reirati H I i ft--HI |ee»»r*f^.i«. for tbo«* ths'. CMUKM mduy ure-| Ipueli. | nfno* (jHn«nei l» either /orm. I GET IT ATTHK DltfOGIBTS. PRICE. WELLS. UiCIIAUUSON AC*.. Prop'*. IfWUl tend the dry poet-naid.) Bt KUXfiTM. tl. S10.60 for 40c honest oSer. re?ail for flott. Thia Is an •r. K yon waist * fortone, dont let H ifa. 1».J. Ht.MlY, Box 127. Buffalo, ,V. V. Golibia Bicycle. Apermanent practical mad rehWe. wtta which % penon c&n tide thus niras «s *Mtlj ss ho cr.nkj wcAt aot. bona 3-cent vtomp for 34-DIM ttik logUQ. • - wwTHE POPE M'FO CO. t Wuhincton St, Boeton, M. O n e C e n t win buy A po«tAl cwd on which to send jrour adM and roceiT© free (po#U«7© prepaid) a 100-paee boofca* Mlhf Mver» I(« OinfHseii nnd their Trettt* iDclodiDf tmnbies, HtidMihi, p«p^a, Jaandioe, Constipation. Hihousneaa, etc. DR. BANFORD. 11H Broadway, New Toel. For Olilllai and AND ALL DiSBASKS Caneti by Material Poiaoala««C «k« A WARRANTED CURB. Price, Sl-OO. For tale by an DnwJit LECTBIC LIGHT!!! rWNKRVOUfi DFBILITT. Loet Man nid Impaired (>owerm eared by MATH Improved RlecUo-Maxnetlct Belt and Itmiilieiil Pad combined; siso of Pad, TxIO iri tict hn • imps la rite r than others. ll> not r>.;rcb *eaay ol.i ytyk> Kulta velum .vou can *ret the UtaZ improved for $2. *• I'lectric l.itrht." a iUja iHiH i, tss'sis im« unseiiwl. soiilpd. 6c. D. 8 D. MATHEWS & CO.. ' " M, 86 aud 88 Fifth Avenue, Chicago, fir Ttal&rffii $86 a weak In year own town. Terma and 9i ootJU Addreaa H. Hallbtt * Oo., Parti and. ME ortii $i'5. For sale for 25 I "HUrsHEEMAK'S Kooekxxpm% includinc all blank* needed ka make aettlcmenta with cmrtoaatM. Monoy refunded if not entirely aa^ latactory. Addiesa „ f T H I AULTYAN k TAVIO* CO^ Unmntsld, RtchlandOo, O. C E L L U L O I D ^ E Y E - C L A S S E 3 . ~ BIO WAIJRK, atunmerand winter. Saoiplea free Rational Oopyin«Oo..3UO W**t Uadiaon-al., Ohioa«« jfcR to ft9fl P*r rtayat home. Bamplea worth tt frae. 90 to 9fcU Add ret* SVoaoN * Co . Portland, Me 1841 "AIM.i:\yooI» institj-th.-iooi for Yonn* ladles, Pitt*field, Mass. xOOX» paif mlvniilHWu. Locntlnn of norivnlert braiity ami unliibrlty. Rcv.O. V'.f t KAR, Principal. JUST OUT! LIFE OF GUITEAU bjr himself, and other*. His erratic career. Fully Olai*rated. Prlee only 10 ceatn. Pnbllabed by NEW YORK ILLUSTRATED TIMES. No. 7 Frank- foit Stroot, New York. EV E R Y M A X A X B V O M A K c a n l i a v e l i i r h t and pri>titAbi»» bn^inoss nt home at all Mtaanns, and •are jnany dollni-a In per»oiial .tnd home expenses. Par- t cnl.ira. with valuable inforinntinn for everylmdy, free. Ktrk tly KIRHI »nd honor.! K-. Do better than we promise. > Addrcrn 0. L CHALMICHS « CO., liaiiKor. Mtdne. j Repreeenting the choioeat-eelected Tortaia»- Bhell and Amber. The lightest, handsouieaL And Rlronpest known. Sold bv Ontictana IBi Jeweler*. Mado by the SPENCER OPTIOAii M'F'O CO.. 13 Maiden Lane, New York. CONSUMPTION CAN BE CURED! i i H A L L ' S E K B A L S A M Hoar* c Kin;. Lltemtuiv l I'm Rf •"•part lsino *1.1. bamitomely IV tmtmk*m bound, foroalf inIT J*Z. MAMILATL AN BOOK CO.. is W. IMii St.. N.T. P.O. B«B «M SIX fiTC Wbtikeit *r • **9 9 ot to TrllCS KN, WILT W48TB 140!CXTI T«A*CWU«T»M. Laxmisat awiiMU, trswe* 9t b«ir oa „ . rllCS KNa 0TKC2«UT?U:« vni KKTLGOHARIK »H« QAIR UPTURN 4«E'« W HW-NBN/TM. trr BpMiisb 4twcr«rr kM Nl>VfcR YKT fAnXD. O.NLT H1X CENTS M Dr. J. (<ONZA> AM IMS. Bui--, Kw. JMVAT* * &U irntmWM. Cough Oranna, u aooinra itna teaii tiie nrmkraa* of tor Lingn. inflamed aud pelaoaedl by tho ri I urn nr. nnd prevents the nlaht awmla tal tiKlitui'NN acroaa the cheat which arconMUif S"*a an Inearable mafadT. Atil' S IIA will earo yoa, *T«a oash profeiwioaal nid fuila. HICAGO PITTS 1 IMPORTANT. Ktiidenta of Music. The KW t .. , t.VI.KMIAR at the sciv Kn&rlmifl ('OHM'rvntory nnU College of liualt in sent FRKK. Anply (o E. TOUlUKK, Ronton, Maaa. SOOO Aaenta wonted to aell the Lift af PRESIDENT GARFIELD, IuciiuliriK a .full and accurate account of his brief but +truij'ut adminidtration; the great ctinll ct witu the iiended by Cnnklitir; the dtaboltoal attempt to aasieMnato him, with full part culnrs of rti* case, one ot' the most critical and mnarkabf* on record. T«rn>i liberal. Oufii/."Mk*. Circulars iroe. Addreac UUBBAUD llliOS, Polw.. Chivago, 111. oMnHabto BLACK HAWK Cyclopedia War. The (Trr-at Llbrnry of llitlvrmftl Knowlfdffe aowoomplet^Kl, InrKe-tyiw edition, nearlv topic*in •verydepartment of huniBTi knowled^.alxiut^ii^rceiit. Urfer than Chambers1 Kncyrlopedia. 10 per cont. larrer than Apploftm'e, P*T cent. larjf©r than Johnson's, A mere fraction ot their cont. Hfteen large Octavo Vol­ ume*, nearly p.i#r<^s, complete In cloth l)lndtfif. ll I »> ; in half Rushm, O; in full library sheep,rnarWoo edges,, ISpecial t«jriiiH tu- vlulie. $10,000 REWARD ins :: opths of July and August. Mend quick for •P»<'IMKMI twee* and tou lwrtirab-. AMERICAN HOOK KXUHANGK. JOHN B. •*.• •• Manager, 764 Braiilway, New York. AMERICAN AND FOREIGN PATENTS UEOROE E. LEMON, Att'y at Law, WA8UI\GTOX, I>. C. i* A. PITTS' SOUS MFB. C0. m*- 19 ». JHhwon CHICAGO. UX. WHEN barreled O.N.U. some one can invent revolver which can be sold No. 31 twenty-five cents, everv city can do away with at l£ast two school-houses at the end of the first year. It is simply neces­ sary to boy a little more burying-ground. --Detroit Free Prest. Fraser Axle Cwwi Beat in the world, Mado only by the Frazcr Lnbhoator Co., at Chicago, New York and St. Looia. Bold evervwliere. Files nnd noaqnltm 15a box " Ilough on KaW keeps a house free from flies, bed-bugc, roaches, rats, mice, eta Eiijebt's Extbact or Tab and WILD Chkbbt hM beeu used for twenty yeare, and during that time lias saved many very valuable lives. Do not mglect a cough or wild until it i* too lata. Try lii in excellent remedy, and we are sure you will be convinced of its merits. Chronic Coughs, and even Consumptives, are curt.'d by following the directions. Every bottle is war­ ranted to give satisfaction. Prepared by the Enuntrt Proprietary Co., Chicago. Bold by nil good drugK'ists. TUF. OliiiK'b'- must go,sad all Americans ahoukl go--aud buy a bottle of Carboline, tbe dcodor- iiced ^eum hair renewer a ud diooser. Hiooe tlio iLM-nt UupiOicmeiit, uu j.rep;'ration ever had auch a ^alc or gave bUch genera: t&ia>/»> j tiou aa CaixOk'lie. Hold by all dru^'gisu. » A fivo ' Referonoee *iven ti actual client# in nearly tTen 1 ,n V-.8- jTespt)ndence invited. Send WHEN WR1TIKU TO ADVERTlSEKifc* lold for "etch or model for opinion oa to p itenUbllHy. No I please May 3mm HW tlie advcHUfiUFia charge for bervlcea unless BuccesifiU. Batibliaiied' 1866 • In this AGITATORi AGITATOR! THE MOST PERFECT THRESHER AND SAVER I. X. CASS TXXRESBXNG MACHINE CO., &ACHVB, MADE.