McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 22 Feb 1882, p. 7

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Ah welll dM harhcr oonld not hoHKl̂ i fft many sails ss that* wo«J4 be If all my ships mmm w ta mm. U half ay i i earn ktmlMa im (ad brought Ah well! I should Iiave wealth a* | As »ny King who a. fa ta state, go rich the treasures thai wmild ha la ha.f my ships now ant at ssa. If just one ship 1 have at «aa Should ooma a-sailing home to AJh we.l! the atom elouds thai "or if the other* a'l want down, 8£'i rich and proud and glad I d to It that oue ship came back to Mb If that one abip went down at aaa Alid all the others came to ma Wt-ighed down with gem* and With g ory, honors, ricbws gold, The poorest soul on earth I'd to «that one ship came not to ma. O skiee be calm! O winds blow frail Sow al i my chips safe home to ma. It if tho«: seudest «ome g-wrsek T® never more o- me sailing back, ' JMnd any, all. that skim the aaa, Bfct bring my love-ship home to mil MRS. BILKINS. Fax tip on the Atlantic stood, years ago, two fine mansions built by British Tories, who had intended to become great landed proprietors and to gather a huge tenantry around them. But, paving been dissatisfied with the re­ sult of the Revolutionary war, they had returned to England, leaving for the use of anybody who chose to occupy it the property they could not sell. A few of their workmen and servants remained behind, and soon a number of fishermen and wreckers joined them, and formed a squatter oolony in the grand houses which had, of course, been stripped of everything that oould be carried over the sea. The houses soon suffered for want of repairs. The hinges grew rickety and creaked; the loose clapboards flapped in the wind, and owls and bats reared their young in the garrets, adding their bootings and flatterings to the other wild noises. Soon trfoor three of the families built little board houses near by, and it was noised abroad that the ".Howard Man­ sion " and the " Vaughn Mansion" were haunted. Then everybody heard unearthly knockings and groanings, and when a good, sturdy ghost was said to have been actually seen promenading the broad halls and staircases,' there was a general stampede, Famlies slept in their boats, or in sheds, till they could put up a better shelter, rather than re­ main in the old mansions, where their fears gave them no peace. Some of the squatters proposed build­ ing from the materials of the "man­ sions but a keen Yankee, wljo set up a saw-mill near by, assured them that the only way to get rid of the ghost was to bum the houses up, and volunteered, if there was no objection, to do the work for them. Instead of this, however, he palled them down, Used the lumber, and sold new boards for building the houses of the fishermen. Tlie ghost was six feet high, and so was the Yankee. As there were no schools and churches near enough for the people to attend, we need not wonder that they were superstitious and ignorant. While the men worked hard a portion of the year, the greater part of their time was spent in- lounging about their boats, or at a miserable tavern a mile up the coast. The only person of real energy in fisherman's settlement at the time of which we write was Molly Ann HnH, a gaunt, homely girl9 who oould fish, tow boat or hoe potatoes faster than any of the men. She might have been seen 'in the offing almnst any morning, while 'the men were all sleeping, fishing, with her father's old pea jacket on her back and somebody's else tarpaulin hat on her head. Notwithstanding her homeliness and rough ways, her energy, kindness to the poor and strong filial affection made her a heroine there. She had supported her aged parents ever since she was 15 years old by incessant and hard toil. Near the Hull shanty was a deep gorge in the lofty sand-MHp, down which a stream poured in torrents at certain sea­ sons. People often wished to cross this stream, life Molly Ann tied a tin horn to * stunted pine tree on both sides of the stream, and at the first blast of the horn she flew to her boat and rowed men, and even hones, over in her boat, for 10 cents each. All the girls of Squattarville, as the place was playfully called, married as they grew up except Mary Ann. The idle fellows were afraid of her. They knew she would want them out of their beds in the morning, and make them work ft* she did herself. But her day oame at last! One winter's night, a vessel was wrecked just off the coast, and Molly Ann, hearing the signal of distress, roused the men and went out with them to endeavor to save the passengers. Sev­ eral were saved, and from among them she took home to her father's poor cot­ tage a great, brawny down-East sailor, whose hands were frozen, and also a wee little pink-and-white tailor, who said he had oome from Liverpool to America to get into business as a 'aberdasher. That long, strange word charmed Molly Ann! Before they were able to leave, each of those men had asked Molly Ann to be his wife. When questioned about it, without any prudish airs, she said : " I'm at my wits' end to decide be­ tween 'em ; whether to marry for love or money ! Hendry Kdwards "has a face likft a chanv doll, and is so ladylike! But he has only $50 that was in a belt around him, and a trunk full of traffic he saved to sell. Jin kin 8 looks just like our own men, but then he's got $300 in the bank, and a farm down Maine way, worth $300 more." The little pink man said, "if she re­ fused him he'd drownd himself in the stream she'd made sacred by rowing over." e But the other great, hearty fellow said. "If she refuses to me, I'll go home and marry some smart Yankee girl, and quit the sea and live on my farm ! " So Mollv concluded to marry the man who would " drownd " himself for her sake; and Jenkins, whose ardor was considerably cooled by the time his frozen hands were well, gave her $50 for his board and for her trouble in taking care of him, and departed in high glee. Molly Ann's ambition had long been to set up a little store in a deserted fish- house, and thus meet a great want in the hamlet. So, putting Henry Ed­ wards' trunk of suspenders, buttons, cravats, etc., in there; she set off with him to be married by the nearest Justice erf the Peace. \ After the ceremony\ she returned home, and he went on to a large town beyond to order a sign and buy more goods. The store was to be hers and he was to do tailoring in the back pari of it The opening of Stewart's np-town store in Mew York made not half the stir that Molly Annj^Bpterprise did in that poor filiate hX^^Bpa. The sign, ordered of a painter five miles off, was looked for much as the first church bell was by the early colonists, after the little man's letter came to Molly an­ nouncing what he had done. You may like to see the letter ; the handwriting we cannot show you. It ran thus : 'PORT L , Martch 1. Dni MOU.Y HAS: I horder th® «ir>, and *grae w® will pa *im six shillings six for hit wen put hap hover urn dor*. '£ will tak hit flown Ihax and nail hit tap. Hi Stordar are nam hoa it, for u wil bee more merchant than me. hi RIM NOR we wil mske money and be# writoh. Wen my bus'ues dntt I will take wings band fly to a and hold foikee. bee snr not to let *im nala the un hon hap-ude down, hi ham til dctJi HKUKRI EDWARDS. Next came a man into the hamlet ask­ ing for the new store. Down flew Molly Ann to meet him. "Are you Mrs. Bilking ?" he asked. " No, I hain't, and no more Is anybody else," replied Molly Ann. " Their hain't no such woman. " I've brought down the sign for the new store," said the man, meekly; and attha same time displaying it and read­ ing, to the horror of the owner: "MRS. M. A. BILKING Dry and Fancy Goods." "Who is this Miss Billinsf* cried Molly Ann, in no gentle tone. " How do I know ?" asked the man, growing a little angry; and adding, " Where s the new shop to be ?" "Right here; but no Miss Billing-- nor ncthin's--goin' to keep it! I'm go- in' to do it myself, and you better go home and tell her so!" cried Molly. "I never see her!" said the man; "but I'm goin' to put this up where I was ordered and go home." " Don't you do it, or our men will make you rue the day !" was the warn­ ing he got. The man mounted a barrel with his hammer, and Molly Ann ran screaming to the boat houses, a little way off, " Boys, boys, there's a Miss Billins from up shore says she's comin* heoe to setup' shop in my fish house, and has ' took time by the forelock' and sent a man down to put up her sign before mine gits here 1" These men and boys were never lazy when there was any fighting to be done; and, making common cause with their townsmen, they rushed toward the poor man who, mounted on a barrel, was but roar. " Heave rocks at him!" oried another to the crowd. " You go home," cried a third, " and tell that Miss Billins to mind her own business. One of our women's goin' to keep that 'ere store; and if she comes down here to head her off, we won't buy a thing of her and will burn the shanty over her head, beside!" The man, seeing that the barrel was to be knocked from under him, sprang down and cried. " Hold on your stones till I tell you all I know about this sign. What's the name of that crazy woman there--that should have gone on to the sign ?" " Molly Ann Mull," roared the bride. " And I ain't no more crazy'n you be nuther I" " What's your husband's name ?" asked the man. " Henry Edwards !" cried Molly Ann. " Then you're Miss Edwards!" cried a woman near by, laughing. "Are you sure ?" asked the man. " I reckon 1 be ! Do you think I'm such a fool that I don't know my own husband's name? I reckon I'm Miaa Edwards now, though I never thought on't afore !" cried Molly Ann. "I reckon you ain't!" replied the man. " A little speck of a fellow came into my shop, and said his name was ' H. E. Bilkins,' and ordered this sign for his wife, ' Mrs. M. A. Bilkins.' Who is he ?" Molly Ann's neighbors, who had now gathered in force, all stared at her, and one asked, " Did yon ever hear of any­ body named Bilkins ?" " Bilkins ? Bilkins ? When the Jus­ tice was a-marryin' of us, it seems to me he did say that now, and I wondered what it meant; I'd never heerd it afore." "Go look in that gilt-kivered pra'r- book o' his'n, Daddy Hull, and see if there's any name into it!" cried a man. Old Hull set off, and soon produoed the book, which he meekly presented to the stranger, who had resumed his place and was speaking from the barrel, as his rostrum. "Well, my%good woman," he cried, laughing, " I reckon you'll find out be­ fore long that you are ' Mrs. Bilkins,' whether you want to be or not! Hear, all of you !"--and he read from the fly­ leaf of the prayer-ljook--" Henry Ed­ wards Bilkins. His Book, Liverpool, May 7, 1887." A few more taps of the hammer, a spring from the barrel, and into a boat where a boy was waiting him, and the painter was gone. The "bride," as the neighbors now called her, looked a little sheepish as she asked, "Well, what is my name now, any way--Edwards or Billins ?" "Nother one nor tother," replied a big hoy. "It's Bilking. Now try to remember that, 'cause you'll have bills to sign some day." And what had threatened to be a mob now resolved itself into a quiet, laugh­ ing company, going up from the beach and parting at the doors of the cottages. A First Class Liar From Deadwood. When a man has been to Deadwood, he somehow feels called upon to lie about it. There was a man from that region who came on to call upon us one day. He# said he was from that city. "Ah," we said, "pretty live town." "Live!" he exclaimed, "why, it's the awfullest place in this country. I once got hard up there, and went and made money by betting that three minutes couldn't pass without the sound of a pistol shot." "Indeed!" we said. He saw we were interested. He said: "In the early days of the town the bartend­ ers used to remember whose blood it was in the different spots on the floor. But fights got to be so numerous that folks lost interest in keepin' track of it. And besides, the spots got so thick on the floor that you couldn't tell where one left off and another began. When I first -went out there such things used to make me nervous. I remember one night they wanted to lynch a man, and my doorway came handy. I was out, and when I came home and found the fellow swinging there, it kind of startled me!" We tried to look shocked, and being thoroughly warmed up, the liar contin­ ued: "I recollect seeing 'em hang a man because he got euchred on a lone hand. He didn't object. He owned up that he deserved it." And so the liar went on until completely exhausted. Then we asked him how many killings a day it averaged there. "About forty," he said. "Poor Deadwood!" we mur­ mured. "Poor Deadwood?" said he. "Yes," we replied, "poor Deadwood! How stupid it must be! How it has gone down since the good old days when we were there! The days when we averaged eighty murders, seven lynching®, nine free fights and a cleaning out of the Chinese per day! Then there was enter- prise at Deadwood!" FACTS FOB THE CURIOUS. Tm tarnishing of rih«r when exposed to the air is due to sulphuretted hydro­ gen, the metal having a strong attraction for sulphur. OTSTEBB CAN live ftwentyjfoor hours in an exhausted receiver. The flame of a candle goes out in one minute, "Hatiwl in five mixmtes. THB horns of the water-snail are hol­ low tubes, and when it draws in its horns the eyes disappear down the tubes. When the "optics" are needed again it is only necessary for the musolea round the tube to contract, and so to squeeze the tip gradually out STRBTT, an English authority on games and amusements, speaks of a Yorkshire jumper, named Ireland, whose powers were marvelous. He was six feet high, and at the age of 18 leaped, without the aid of a spring board, over nine horses ranged side by side. EXAMINE the thread-slime how we will we oan find in it no mouth, no stomach, no muscles, no nerves, no {jarts of any kind. Yet it eats and >reathes and grows. When it is too large to be comfortable it splits in two, and each half goes its way as a living animal, TOPHAM, an Englishman, born in 1710, was possessed of astonishing strength. His armpits, hollow in the cato of ordin­ ary men, were with him full of muscles and tendons. He would take a bar of iron, with its two ends held in his hand, place the middle of the bar behind his neck, and bend the extremities by main force until they met together. OSB of the most curious railroads in the world is a ten-inch gauge road run­ ning from North Billerioa, Mass., to Bedford. It was first hooted at by the people, but was completed, mAlring a length ot about eight, and a half miles. There are eleven bridges. The rails weigh twenty-five pounds to the yard. One grade is 155 feet. The cars and en­ gines are constructed so as to be very near the ground, giving them greater safety. The cars have an aisle with one seat on each side, in the same manner as ordinary oars have two seats. The cars weigh but four and a half tons, or­ dinary cars weighing on an average eighteen tons. Trains run at the rate of twenty miles an hour with perfect safety. The engine is placed behind the tender, giving it greater adhesion to the track. They weigh eight tons, and draw two passenger and two freight cars. The cost, of the road was about $4,500 per mile. IN Colorado is a ten-acre field, which is no more nor less than a subterranean lake covered with soil about eighteen inches deep. On the soil is cultivated a field of corn, which produces thirty bushels to the acre. If any one will take the trouble to dig a hole the depth of a spade handle, he will find it to nil with water, and by using a hook and line fish four or five inches long may be caught. The fish have neither scales nor eyes, and are perch-like in shape. The ground is a black marl in nature, and in all proba­ bility was at one time an open body of •water, on which accumulated vegetable matter, which has been increased from time to time, until now it has a crust av«<I «><A1> OU1UU^ «UU 1IVU Ml £FAVUUV>d fine corn, although it has to be cul­ tivated by hand, as it is not strong enough to bear the weight of a horse. While harvesting, the hauds catch great strings of fish by making a hole through the earth. A person rising on his heel and coming down suddenly, can see the growing corn shake all around him. Any one having sufficient strength to drive a rail through the orast will findr on re­ leasing it, that it will disappear alto­ gether. A Battle Between Birds. A gentleman from Stone County gives the particulars of a remarkable incident which he witnessed while crossing White Biver on the ferry just above the mouth of Sycamore Creek. When nearly half way across the stream an enormous eagle swooped down on a flock of geese, which were swimming in the river some eighty rods below the boat. Th© fowls, upon observing the eagle approaching, in­ stinctively dived under the water just as the bird struck the wave. Baffled in the first assault the eagle flew slowly up­ ward, and when the geese came to the sur­ face, darted downward again, and bury­ ing its talons in one of them, attempted to bear it sway. The goose struggled violently, while its companions swam around uttering shrill cries and the per­ sons on the ferry boat watched the strange scene with keen interest. One® the eagle lifted its prey clear out of the water and seemed on the point of convey­ ing it to the mountain cliff that rose grandly in the air on the other side of the stream, but the struggles of the goose forced the captor downward. When water was again reached the goose made a supreme effort and plunged below the surface, dragging the eagle after it and causing the latter to loosen its hold and rise upward with a fierce stream. The eagle next attacked another goose, but with the same result, being com­ pelled to relinquish its hold when its in­ tended victim plunged beneath the waves. This strange contest lasted fully thirty minutes, at the end of which time the eagle gave up the fight, and, rising, soared away to the mountains westward, while the flock of geese swam further down the stream. None of the flock w ere killed, but the water in the vicinity was dyed with blood, and the surface of the stream was covered with feathers for a considerable distance.--Little Rock Letter to Atlanta Constitution. Obeying Orders. During the siege of Paris in 1870, M. Arthur Ranee was Mayor of the Ninth Arrondisement, One night, when a sortie had been made, the streets were crowded with people anxious to learn news from the battle-field. With great difficulty M. Ranee forced his way to the door of his office, but there two sentries crossed their bayonets before him. "No one «••"» pass in here without an order from the Mayor." "But I say I am the Mayor." "That makes no difference-- you can't pass in her® without an order!" Thereupon M. Bance gravely drew out his pocket-book and wrote on a leaf: "Allow me to pass. (Signed), M. Ranee, Mayor;" which precious order he handed to the sentry. "Ah, that's all right! Pass in, sir. Oar orders are imperative, you know." Hunting Turkeys In Georgia. The boys on Wallan's creek have adopted a novel way to gobble wild gob­ blers. When they take it into their heads to make a raid on this monstrous wild bird they simply provide them­ selves with fleet horses and a pack of dogs as their only implements of war­ fare. Thus equipped they hie away to the woods, and when they find their game they simply put spurs to their horses and proceed to chase as though it were a fox instead of a turkey, A fat gobbler, it is said; cannot fly a great dis­ tance, and when he pitches, if on the ground, he takes to his heels till he is so closely* pursued by the dogs that he is compelled to resort again to jhis wings far safe|f. Thus the chase is kept up continuously until the gobbler becomes completely fagged ont and can neither run nor nv, when, of course, he has to succumb to his pursuers. It was in this way that C. M. Bozar, John Peacock and Charley Flood captured two fine gobblers, weighing respectively sixteen and eighteen pounds. The smaller one was chased about nine miles and the other about eight--Wallan (Go.) Timet. OVjk PROGRESS. As stages axe- qwokly abandoned with the completion of railroads, so the huge, drastic, cathartic pills, oempoeed of erode and bulky medicines, ace qaieluy abandoned with the in­ troduction ot Dr. Piaroe's '• Pleasant Purgative Pellets," which are mgar-oosted and little larger than mustard seeds, bat composed of highly concentrated vegetable extracts. By oU»«r Fusee diss aad PfafwaUM Imim U«d to aSaat * earn. JKRKXIAB '--RIM IIMN.-n- r. I JU_ tbnt bin wtta bad msOIUI CO»MIIIhSi, irf Despotim of Fashion. An eminent English writer says that Americans enjoy less real liberty, outside of political rights, than the people of any oountry in Europe. He says we accept our fashions in everything from Europe in a blind and slavish acquies­ cence in marked contrast with our jeal­ ousy of political interference and des­ potism. Even in polities, he says, the Hame disposition ia apparent, for a third, or independent party, is impossible. In Germanyv|Hui France there are many parties, but in great, free America there is only room for two. Independence in thinking is rare, and more rarely takes j shape in action. The aesthetic craze hae , not developed any American standard ol taste. From somewhere comes periodi­ cally a decree in fashions, against which no American wompoi dare to rebel. However ill-suited to climate or com­ plexion, the style is inexorable. The oontest is simply as to precedence in acquiescence, No one dares to revolt. Thus upon the American people are forced fashions in dress for men, women and children, house furnishings, and even house architecture, often most pre­ posterous and barbarous. The cart­ wheel style of bonnets occurs as one of the abominations in dress, s flagrant violation of good taste as well as of the rights of others in public assemblages. But somebody must originate these never-ending novelities. Some brain has been tortured somewhere to invent something startling. The wonder is that the decree is accepted so uncomplain­ ingly. However preposterous or absurd, there is no remedy. It is this meek subservience of Americans to the behests of fashion which makes the birth and growth of any real standard of taste im­ possible. The spirit of discontent and rebellion must precede every successful revolution. As in China, the inherited spirit of obedience stands squarely in the way of every effort at progress. There was a people once who had, in dress and architecture, a standard which has passed unquestioned. It did not fluctuate at the bidding of milliners oi clothiers. It had a foundation below the question of dollars and cents. Nothing more plainly evidences our singular backwardness in some of the higher at­ tributes of civilization than the f»ct that we must dress at the dictation of some imperious and invisible tyrant whose exact location, tenure of office, or extent of power no one knows. There are na­ tions yet which have a national costume. Any one who has ever attended a fair at Buda-Pesth has seen men and women from provinces dressed in most grotesque outre fashion, but just as their ancestors have dressed for ages. The effect is striking, novel and sometimes beautiful. It is a question whether their never- chaugiug fashion i® more inimical to the growth of correct taste than our ever- changing styles. About as much liberty and discretion is allowed in one as the other. They accept their grandparents' clothes because they were the fashion, and we often do the same thing because they will be. The authority is equally shadowy and doubtful in both cases. A woman on the Danube has no more no­ tion of making a dress to suit her in­ dividual taste and complexion, shape oi stature, differing from her set, than one here. The goddess there is as fixed and changeless as Brahma. Here, like the Romans, we naturalize all the gods, no matter how inconsistent, only stipulating that any new ones shAll come in like terms.--^-Indianapolis Journal. Dmr Girl*--Let me entreat yo* i to font a habit of borrowing--Sorrowing in season and out of season; borrowing ureases and wraps, ribbons and pins, scissors and thread, dimes and pencils, until your friends will expect to hear you say, "Please, may I borrow," each time you look into their rooms. Lend­ ing is a real kindness, and betokens an obliging spirit; but borrowing shows careless maoftgement and no proper re­ gard for the rights of others. To be sure, it is sometimes neoessary even with the best regulated household, wardrobe or work-box. Still I have a • real regard for those who will deny them­ selves a pleasure or put off a time of enjoyment rather than borrow. But of all things, never ask the loan of clothing! Some persons are so sensitive that if they oould afford it they would rather throw away a garment another had worn than appear in it themselves. Although you may think this foolish, you must bear in nrnd that the garments belong to their friend, and by asking to borrow them, you force her to choose between punishing herself with complying or offending you with a denial. Perhaps the girl readers are not ad­ dicted to this exasperating habit, and do not need this talk. There is, how­ ever, among my acquaintances a maiden who makes herself one of my greatest trials. She asks for my scarf to wear to the city, for my shawl when she visits ber aunt, for my hood when she goes Bkating. One of my dresses figured at her cousin's wedding ; one of my neck­ ties is seen in her photograph; she pro­ tects her hands with my mittens, walks dry-shod in my rubbers, and warms her fingers in my mutt. Yet she is so help­ ful, and sociable, and amiable, and re­ turns so readily and neatly each article borrowed, that 1 seldom venture a re­ fusal, 'especially when I remember that her wardrobe is scantily furnished. Still I often take myself severely to task for allowing a girl with such excellent traits to pass into womanhood with this disa­ greeable one. So full of the hope that she will see this talk, I send it on its mission, trusting it will help some maiden to become a more agreeable woman.--"Aunt Oliva" in Country Gen­ tleman. CONSUMPTION etTRE. Da. R. V. PIEBCK, Buffalo, N. Y.: Bear Sir-- Death wu hourly expected by myself and friends. My physicians pronounced my dis­ ease consumption, and said I must die. I be- fan taking your "Discovery" and "Pellets." have used mines bottles and am wonderfully relieved. 1 am now able to ride out ELIZABETH THOHNTON. Montonso. Ark. A Remarkable Statesman. The French Republicans have lately erected a statute to the eminent Repub­ lican statesman Of Normandy, Jacques Charles Dupont; better known as Dupont de 1 Eure. This honest, and simple poli­ tician, who was born in 1767, and lived to preside over the provincial govern­ ment of 1818, was deservedly called by his admirers " The Aria tides ot French Liberalism." When Dupont de l'Eure was made a minister he was offered the customary grant for personal expenses incident' upon change of residence. " My ex­ penses have been so small," the old man replied, " that I will not charge the state with them. I paid six francs for my seat in the diligence, and thirty sous for a commissionaire who carried my trunk. I had no other outlay." If he had de­ manded some round thousands of francs the sum would have been paid to him, and no detailed account asked in return. --.London Echo. The M Uoldaa RIMSI •( Yraih" may be retained by using Dr. Pierce's " Favor­ ite Prescription," a specifie far " female com­ plaints." By druggists. A GENTLEMAN contributes to Nature the following account of his experience in India bearing upon the question whether ants produce sounds or not: " Whilst lying awake early one morning before the servants were stirring,, when camped in the Deccan, at the present small station of Chota or Chick-Soogoor, on the G. L P. Railway, during the win­ ter 1868-69, I heard a sound repeated at intervals of about a second. It sounded as though the wall of the tent was being struck by a light fringe along one side; but noticing that the air was perfectly still, I listened for some minutes wonder­ ing what it was and trying to fix the lo­ cality. I got out of bed cautiously and looked out; the whole of one side of the tent, for a height of two feet, was covered with white ants so thickly, that at the first glance I thought the wall was covered with a gray-reddish mud to this height." The noise ceased suddenly as soon as the ants seemed to become aware of the writer's presence, and in a few minutes they had all disappeared. The impres­ sion produced was that thev had all been striking the tent wall at the same time with their heads. ONB of the drawbacks of married life is sick­ ness at the little ones. For a Cold or Cough you cannot find a better remedy than Dr. Boll's Congh Syrup. Nearly all physicians preecribe ££ ftBd no family shun^ he without it* The Ktndnetm of Nature. Nature intended that the art of healing, the sustaining of animal life, the enjoyment of per­ fect health, and the road to longevity shoula be searched for principally among the herbs and vegetables of the earth,'and not oue in a thous­ and who seeks to be relieved by the use of min­ eral poisons And the panacea hoped for. Then away with mercurial medicines! Let nature be assisted by nature ! Invigorate the system and improve the animal economy of nutrition and assimilation, by using such well- known and tried harmless yet effective vegeta­ ble touics as Yellow Dock, Saraapanlla, Junip­ er, Celery. Calisaya Bark, etc., all of which enter into the composition of Dr. Gnysott's Yellow Dock and SarxapanlLa. If you are weak, nervous and debilitated, or suffer from sia, weak kidneys, impure blood, etc., it will do you more permanent good than any other remedy known. [Cincinnati Saturday Night.] It is natural for man to brag. And frequently the less he has to brag over the more bragging he has to do. The most trifling incidents are sufficient to keet> some men brairtrine all their lives. We once knew a man whom Heniy OUj kicked out of his way, and the fel­ low bragged about it all the rest of his life, and he was proud to be introduced ss **the man Henry of the West booted." Men brag over things that never hap­ pened, though they repeat it so often that they come to believe it themselves. It has been estimated that it would re­ quire a vessel like the Great Eastern to carry all the people claiming to have been on Fulton's first steamboat when it made its trial trip. We have ourselves shaken hands with twenty-eight men, each of whom boasted that ti@ was the first man to walk across the Niagara suspension bridge. The woods are full of men who are willing to swear that they were standing right alongside of Gen] Grant when he said "he would fight it out on that line if it took all summer." ^ Mas. LUCY T. COI,-*AK, of Hamilton, Ohio, writes: "Foreman years I suffered from a complication of diseases. Dyspepsia, impure blood and irregularities were my greatest troubles. I was also very nervous, and at times my heart ached most severely. 1 often suffered from heartburn, belching, nausea, etc., after meals. I was advised bv my neighbor, Mrs. Longmore, to try Dr. Gnysott's Yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla. Having tried so many things, 1 did so with very little faith. 1 was highly pleased to find it just the medicine I needed. It surely must contain some secret ingredients, for I can not believe that simple Yellow Dock and Sarsaparilla would create sucti a remarka­ ble change as it did in my case. That queer sensation of bearing down and pam in the loins never troubles mo any more at all." ; Why She Couldn't do Any Faster. In the bustle attending the departure of a boat from the iron pier at Coney Is land, while the strong-voiced young men were calling out, "All aboard," a very fat woman approached, her reddened face bedewed with perspiration. Al­ though it was evident that she was mak­ ing the best speed she could the young men shouted to her to hurry up, or she would miss the boat. She suddenly stopped and said : "lam hurrying up all I can; I guess if you weighed 825 pounds and was laced as tight as I am, you couldn't get along any faster, either." Then she resumed her prog­ ress and missed the boat.--New York Sun. What a Hotel Clerk Sap. TBKXOHT HOUSE, CHICAGO, HL,) Oct 2,1881. ) H. H. WAKKBR A Co. : Sirs--I have used your Safe Kidney and Liver Cure for kidney disease, and found it very beneficial. GEORGE A. COBB. A MILK-SKIMMING machine has been invented by an Englishman, which sep­ arates the cream from new milk without awaiting the slow process of having it " rise." Instead of taking off the cream with a spoon or ladle, the dairymaid will, hereafter, pour the milk into a cyl­ inder, which revolves at the rate of 6,000 revolutions a minute. It might be supposed that the results would be butter, but not so. From perforations in one side of the vessel tiows the rich­ est of cream, from the other side skim- milk of a heavenly blue. LYUIA E. PINKHAX'8 Vegetable Compound will, at all times snd under all circumstances, act in harmony with the female system. TALK to the point and stop when you have reached it The faculty some pos­ sess of making one idea cover a quire ot Eaper is not good for much. Be compre-ensive in all you say or write. TH* Kidneys us nature's slaice-waje, Kidney- Wort keeps them healthy and activa. LESS time spent in idle dreaming and devoted to the duties of life would give us wealth and contentment. OB Tblrty Pays' Vital. The Voltaic Belt Co., Marshall, Mich., will •end their Electro-Voltaic Belts and other Eleo- tric Appliances on trial for thirty days to any person afflicted with Nervous Debility, Lost Vitality and kindred troubles, guaranteeing oomplete restoration of vigor and manhood Aadress as above without delay. N. B.--No risk is incurred, as thirty days' trial is aUew«4 Water. Water is so common that few psiwns think of it as the most important factcv in the building up and civilization of the world. The rocks were mud and sand made by water and laid down by it, one kind on top of another. Coal,'made ol plants, was covered up by water, so that the lotten plants were kept there and changed to coal. Veins of 1* ad, copper, gold, silver and crystals, were cracks in the rocks, filled with water that had these precious things dissolved in it. And water, as ice (glaciers), ground up rocks into earth, in which plants can grow, the sea and streams helping to do the work. Water builds plants, and animals, too. Three-quarters of what they are made of is water. When you pay twenty cents for a peck of potatoes you are really paying fifteen of the cents for the water that is in the potatoes. A boy who weighs eighty pounds, if per­ fectly dried up, would only weigh twenty pounds. And there can be no potatoes or boy without water. It must dissolve things to make them into new things; and it carries them where they are wanted to build the new things. It softens food, and then as watery blood carries the food to every part of the body to make new flesh and bones, that we grow and have strength. It carries the plant's food up into the plant. Water carries man and goods in boats, and, as steam, drives the cars. It makes the wheels go in the factories. It is a great worker, and we could not get along without it. It makes much of the beauty in the world. A WEAK, mind is like a microscope^ which magnifies trifling things, but can­ not receive great ones. O. II. Keith 41 Co.--What the Chica­ go Tribune 8ayi, O. R. KEITH A Co, the representative Fancy Dry Clc.ods, Notions and MiUinerv house of Chicago, have made the ami lest arrangements for a greatly enlarged trade the present spring season. Their mammoth store of six floors, 160x175 feet, shows an immense stock of almost everything ia the dry-goods line. For several years they have been adding new lines of goods to their former stock, and their business has near­ ly doubled each year for the last three years. This new departure of a house with such an established reputation, large capital and busi­ ness, by which it practically becomes one of the great genera's dry-goods houses for which Chicago ia so famous, is of general interest to the trade and the public. Its great cnu rprise, Isige experience and unsurpassed facilities for obtaining the choicest fabrics and latest styles from the great fashion centers of Europe, and WH pronnmmd IKOtnUMJt NUMr theme of Allan'* Loi( BUam Dmtt.T OCUB sia H« wr.l« that be and tils naigtilw tlilak it the H3 mwlk-m# ta *»• world. Wm. 11. Dtaon. Mmkut, at BowBaa flu Ml T* WTi'es. Apr 1 4th. lffil.Uut ba wantsaatobuwthat<5 Lusu BALSAM wnr frrrim TTS MoTirrn ill fossilMF TIOK AFTER the physician had (ivaa bar «p aa tseafa&C He iut<rs others knowing ber ease haw takn the BSIMB a'triai'**'11 cnr"1; tUl>^s *° aflheted •hnshl slia M Dr. MFKKDITB, Dtmttat.,of Cincinnati, waa thoMhkte be in ttw last fiTAOFC or ComOMPTCOXand VWUMH by bis to try Allen'* Lane Balaam altar the 1» mul% wm shown him. We have Ma letter that SaS sees eared his cough, and that he wm able ta naeaae Ms JWCt-ce. **: A. GRAHAM a CO.. Wholesale " si' " £•» rule. Otilo, writes ai of the cure of StUitaiFnieMLi 1 well-known cit SAR, who has been afiieted vtth CHITIB in its worst form for Iwwin yers. The Lav B«l«am cared him, a* it haa many (itinera, of BaaSMBEOC -AS ALSO- CMS, Asthma, Croup, All MSSUH •! the Threat, Lisn i Pnlmonary ttrfaos. 0.8. Pi-iiiorist, at Oaklr. Kj, writae ladies think there t« no ramedjr «qtm1 to ~ hi CROUP and WHOOPING COUGH. s:" -.. Mother* will fitMl it * safe and snr» moadr to |N* thsh " i-children when afflict d with Croup. ': : R to harmless to tite met dallcsls dM! -- v H coatafos M Opiusi h say M Recommended bjr Phyateloaa, tflslatersnd In fact, hi ereijbodjr who h« «i*en it • |W >< It "S><ST«r ritlb to Bring K*llaC K trial M a n E I P E C T 0 BA8T it lis IsEpL SOU) BY ALL MEDICINE DEALERS. Y0UN8 I fowl •etioo, addraes VALRNTINK BROS, JrtSaritfc. Wta. F R BROO- JA*£rtiftL Wta. CHARLIES 8. HIRES, M H. Delaware AMU Phlla.. ? i fe NO eulat% DR. WM. Saaal aefBroacbial «ltiRHi&r siring a KIN, permanent care, #Hh*a>« risk of future or ezpenae, BBU] a< is effected, will addrea* at once fcr £ M. HAMBOHB, CentimevUle. Ind. ABEHT8 I' •fM OorantT in the U. S. to sell,and establish i the family medio ins in th« world. inclosing et&mp r< r i>nrMcul»f*» «r |Si1) lor **pisb*rfv Of nn^doz-n bottle PHELPS k CO., WOiS Smith I . rfMplsbi i reinUn «t t&OOKIMEe J. It*: ith Haktted St., Chkaco* BL ; Pmw OOD-LITU OIL, from selected livers, on the seashore, by Caswell, Hazard & CO., N. Y. Absolutely pure and Bweet Patients who have once taken it prefer it to all others. Physicians declare it superior to all other oils. CRAPPKD BAUDS, face, pimples uu cough skin cured by using Juniper Tar .Soap, made by Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York. FREE too SELECTION for Aatawte^ Albums, 1 pk Transparent CaitU.1 alt Furs Cards, 1 pk Kecort Cards, 1 pit nits nua an All the above sent i tion Cards, Laneuace of F 'owe.p,6 Aotiesans* Ptetoiaa^ , ,« .... ^ ^ ...... Star Pun e. 2 Chemical Pur.zirs, and an e<cht-paas': in the world s best markets, must make it thg^ uterer? paper on trial s months. leading bouse, in its lines, in this country. Don't Die In the HonieT Ask druggists for "Rough on Rata." It dears out > a. s, mice, bedbugs, roaches, vermin, flies, ants, insects. 15c. per box. Da. Wnonu'i Teething Syrup hM mw failei to give immediate relief when used in cases of Summer Complaint, Cholera-infantom, er pains in the stomach. Mothers, when your little darlings ar* suffering from these or kin­ dred causes, do not hesitate to give it a triaL You will surely be pleased with the charming effect. Be sure to buy Dr. Winchell's Teething Bjrup. Sold by all druggists. Only U& oanta per bottla. THOUSANDS of persons who are bald to-day might have full heads of hair if they woul^ only use CAHBOUMB, a deodorized extract of petro­ leum, which ia the only preparation ever dis­ covered that will really do this. FOB Headache, Constipation, liver Complaint and all billons derangements of the blood, then te no remedy m smtfand safe as Eilert's Day lip fat liver Pills, They stand unrivalled in re­ moving bile, toning the stomach and in giving Vrer. Sold by all druggists. receipt of "15c. in »tamps to e. -ver postac<% Ao. Addsnst KKSIV-M. ft. CO^Boeton, Mm. ~THE OFFICIAL HISTORY OFTHE CUITEAU TRIAL Thia Is tbe only eoraplete aad fall awl Trial of Odtm.' It contains i its aad other noted witnesses; all tbe i, the cnnalaa issssstn In hiasreataSartste* >wsbyMctunsrtassnlty. BewaieflfesMfc Millions of people are waiting fa* I" Agent* Wmmtmi. Olrenlars free. Eztn tens* i_ ___ Address WATTOKAI. PCTUS-- Oo.ObkJi>l iMffTSBn 1 have a positive remedy for the above dlssase; by Its ase tlionwnd? m' ense* ot the worst kind and Oi iMMpx! •tending liave BEEN curin). Indeed. FO struns Is say raitjat in it R s»tfiraey that 1 will M*nd TWO BOTTCEB rMt'I together with >• VALUABLE TREAT1SK on this di».' ; eaae to any sufferer. Give Kipress and P. O. address;- t DR. T. A. 8 LOCUM, lsl Pearl St., New York. & $ FOB Rheumatism, Sprains and Bruises, use Uncle Sam's Nerve aud Bone liniment, sold by all druggists. IIOW TO NECCUK HKALTII. It Is strance »ny on* will suffer from twoaghton by impure blood,when SCOt 1LL*8 PA KILL A AND STILLINUIA, o. KLAHID A MI LIVER SYRUP, will restore ..OHIOI to toe i>TAY«i>uil or­ ganization. It 1* a strengthening syrnp, p eaaant to take, and the BEST BLOOD PUKIFlKit ever discovered, curing Scrofula, &yphil tic disorders. Weakness of the Kidneys, Erysipelas, Malaria, Nervous disorders. Debil­ ity, Bilious complaints, and Diseases of the Bl^od, Liver, Kidneys, Stomaeb, Sk.n, etc. BAKKR'8 PAIN PANACKA eons pain la ana aad beast. DR. ROGER'S WORM SYRUP instantly destroy* WORMS. Employment for Ladies. Tbe Queen City Suspender Comusy of cinnati are now manufacturing MtnatrodwiMf their new fitorfclat gi»irUw for fiiii ClIMm, *nd their unentitled SUvt fenpeaiiMf# for and want reliable l.vly agents In tt!lgp; \ .them in every household. Our agentseverf*^-fwliu-re meet with ready success and make e salaries. Write at once for term nd W*'?--.' cxclusivc territory. Address rJ • ## m ^ Citf ©Mew4#:; Leading Physicians recommend ibese Supporters. AGENTS WANTEDte^r LIFE, TRIAL EXECUTION of Uhntp'nt#hfotoiy M bis fthamefQl lit*; rrctan!i »wt iwt«»r OQR TR'FIL in tti* Anrutls of cHut*. Pwn ll't'tftr"iwl. Low ^.-i< * i. r*i r*nis. D.r BULL'S COUGH S Y R U P WATCHES r--- irrlcaa WaUh C*..FiUskarsh.ra. 1 $20 bornn. Sani] iaronlea worth (t free. ildress imsos A Co., Portland, Ma. BOOK on tbe proper traatnaenfc of the Throat and . Lunss.by R.Hunter.M.D^lUS State St..Chicago, fret. A WEEK. $1) a day at home easily mads. Costly oetat fn*. Addisss Tmtns A Co., Ancnsta, Ma. $72 CSTTlgg Msvolvarsu Ostaistee One. ASSM* " W Al O ®rea» WastCa* Wark*. riustank. ft $66 a week ut yuur own tem. Terms and 96 oattt free. *4drew H. H*Li.h.TT A Co., Portland,Mai BEST IN THB WORLD I I1 DsllTared on Trial, HUW OW OHAROS V VrXJLBOM-B QBCTT.T.A-TTtTq- 1: Shuttle Sewing Machine t B U Y N O O T H E R I ; > uin a un Tm. wamutt«« s m--r- ^ • SEND FOB CIRCULAR «&» **4 >I AQENT8 WANTED In Unoccupkd TwrftMp ^ .. . Address WILSON 8KWIMO BACBIXI<% agg a l» Wsbsth ATS^ Cfclisgsi PI SO": C I J HE R CaaaaaspclTM and peopla who have weak lane* or asth­ ma, should use Pieo s Cur* fcr Consumption. It has earsd tkaasauids. It has not injur­ed one. It ia not bad to tak* It I* the best cough STTOD. Sold every when. 9S«<«tL FITS'* I I I V I I 4-rm Isadlsc tsslas flfi' atclan rstaMhhtt ss OSIn la SfcwYsrk brth*Cst«*f EPILEPTIC FITS. Ffoim Am. Jwmml *f JWWWL Bi'. Ah. Meoerole (late of London), who wofkm mectol» tyof Epilepflj.has without doubt t»»Ud aad eared not* ea§ee th&nnnyother Ufinf phjiWin. HksraooowkM •imply been attoniihioi; wo hsre board of cnoooot ovw SO mm1 standing eucoeaofiiily eerod by him. HoJbaa published a work on thia dlaeaaa, which ho aaoda. with* laiso bottle of his wonderfnl euro, nee to any settwer who may send their expreoa and poetomoe address. We ^ advise anyone wlahin* a enre toaddiess _ . DB. AB. MKSEROLKS NO. 9C Joha St, New Yocfc. ." -Y^it . 3 : , ForBnilt^s® at the Oldest 4 Beet 'Commerei&l College. Cirettlarfrees Address C> B ATLIBS, Dubuque, LI $777 A YEAR and expense* ts Agenta. Outfit free. Address I*. O. Vlchery, Angt»sti£. Ma, A MONTH -AGENTS WANTED--<10 bssi sailing articles In the world; S mmplvfre*. Address J ujr Bi-ensua, Detroit, Mich Aljl-NT* WANTED for tha Best and Fsatest-Selling Pictorial Books and Biblea. Pricee reduced SS per et. NATIONAL PUBLISHWO CO., Chicago. Ill wnwannm MS BE * HALL'S CONSUMPTION CAN BE CURBS* DE WM KBALSAM STONK'* IIAKOY BLACKKKRKV, The hardiest in eolti* >tion. For description and mots, Sddreaa 1. N. 8TONE, Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin. atMl Bl 11 B The is Cheap*•* 3^ ••• III 2%FnrI.>e$criptiretHr W^WV • •nsBw^JpVui&t i? Prices vmte THE AULTMAX * TAYLOR CO.. M&sraiield. Oliic. PATENTS! R. S. k A. P. LACKY, Fntent Solicitor*, WnBiunston, D. C. _ Our "Scientific Record Hand Book" ad " Ham to Procure Patents" THE FAMILY LIBRARY Oontainc gplendld tmw and complete Novell. f eeate for sample number. !>"TEft!%" ATiOX A.I* N£WI CMS., %W and SnvTu!}'al?^iSSses^irtko S Ztseaso, and praveatsi the night sweats *s4 s " • »aa tha cheat whlefc accsiaaiiy lea Is net aa lacarmhla asafady. * *. t ^ fHSIS .• *< , ghtnees scrsn ia£C •aagh S BALAAM wll prswaslstsl aid fklta. aw* WHT WASTE MOJfET! IA mhi » TS Eii»V. * •••el WK-asi»ch«. Imm ef bftir UU •TtiUMiTrtSSI *m4 b« httmbngee*. s- NiVtRltf tO.XXA. a ,r,t „ j. , -• •* a ts.v. Bo. 8 New i orsii. St WHEN WBlTUti TO ADTEBTISKiM. ?! please sajr JM a*tw the siTcrtiseauat this putter. /r t' f JLmmiimmH*n mf Jhm» Mn--yts eMrrtirMt *jf - -• ^0: Haktib's I box ToMC In my praotloe, aad In an expjrteaea s* in medicine, have nerer found snythtofr to.ldye the result* that Pa. £A«TK*^ IREOIF TONIC DO^S I®1 OF Servons Prostvailoa, Female Diseases, I>y^wp6h, tsj 1®^* DoveiStoedcondit^ii of the blood, this peertess remedy, has In my hands, made son* wondertal Cases have baffled some of our most e ml neat tfit&s timedjT.""I prescribe it in preference to any as DB. HAJ»X*U'» laos Toxic Js a iratheaUhfuitonei §Me dlgesiive meneou* sy stews, malrfu# it mpplietMe to Oomerml mmUty, Los* of Apv*- tUe,Pr--tr*Ho»oftUal Awm ssi latpotunoe.i •ANUFACTUBSO BY THK DR. NAKTKft Ml neceaaltT ST. tons. Mo.

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