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I tonff to In «ftrried tow <fe«rta*». [ "WiwWUjr got married iMtitgad me with right littte bant Ktirau* 'tt*» shame and a pity " bp grudged the display of aMfc 1 yonr hnnhand'H away in the city, nu «Mit you're at it for hour*. Store, play n I bid yon; tt mak*« me m toMly w ' To brood »(Vr dinuer with nothing t> do. • WeeoStf nMr»r try whwt with a pair <tf its only; !&f • £ VfJ Bet-lite*. I am hardly acrach tatter than yon. b.oka l>y the do*cn, but find that they mm me - For Home are so flippant, and some are feo deep. What a 8t i f il*pr»wrtt<ii« | fee! onmlAg o'er me! Dn j.iny, there* a darling, and netid me to s'oep. --htmrlon Fim, • ^BREAKING A BA>fcj Mt PtnillMr Manned Sceandrel.' » 1; l^y profession is nol a popular one. fr "There is considerable prejudice against Hn-n • -Jit. I don't myself think it ranch worse v> ^Jthan^ many others. However, that's * laothing to do with my story. Some -D^jears ago, me and the* gentleman who * ."was at that time connected with me in , \.fche business--he's met with reverses -ilsinoe then, and at present isn't able to •I }w> out--was looking round for a job, " , ~ feeing at that time rather hard up, &s we r f^*night say. We struck a very small ,, *-̂ oouatr7 town--I ain't agoin' to give it '} "J telling, where it was, or what *he name of it was*. There was one bank j4* the President was a rich old j,<duffer; owned the mills, owned the bank, owned most of the town. There wasn't " *>o other officer but the cashier, and t* »f'f%hey had a boy who used to sweep out v,4t * iiiand run orranda, >*/. ̂ ' The bank was on the main street, •» * |>retty well up one end of it--nioe, snug .....--'Jplace, on tho eahier of a cross-street, /with nothing very near it. ' " *• ,t , 0 . We took our ^'Observations ana found there wasn't ' frio trouble at all about it. There was an ng^ *>ld watchman who walked up and down &\ ; „ the street nights, wli^n he didn't fall , ,©sleep and forget it The vault had two ^-aii.'; doors ; the outside one was chilled iron y./- * l 4fcnd had a three-wheel combination lock- 4r r : ̂ -ihe inner door wasn't no door at all; you P 'fcould kick it open; -it didn't pretend to & . , i / • )>e nothing but fire-proof, and it wasn't <'v' X pven that. The first thing we done, of ^ 184 bourse, was to fit a key to the outside •vu*k>or* •^8 ^he 1°°^ on the outside door u ,c * %as an old fashioned Bacon lock, any 101 j gentleman in my profession who chances • * - |o read this article will know just how *1* vr »;«: easy that job was, and how we done it k , ,1 may say here that th« gentlemen in ft* in. tny line of business, having at times a , * • : !i' good deal of leisure on their hands, do V ,i> considerable reading, and are par tic u- %/•)" ' *'«* Ularlv fond of a neat bit of writing. In . \ »"( imct, in the way of literature I have *• *• " 'found among 'im--however, this being : JBgtession, I drop it, and go on with the <' i v * Ipmn job again. € y <«*. i. was ̂ plan : After the key was j&*. a * ^tted I was to go to the bank, and Jim li J , F, "JJ--that wasn't his name, of course, but \ -j, !©t it pass--was to keep watch on the ^ Outside. When any one passed he was ^ <"*• r** t|? a whistle, and then I doused ^ ** »» glim and lay low; after they got by. I goes on again. Simple and easy, you ?' • J ^ fee. Well, the night we selected'the » ^v,'|?re8ident happened to be out of town; " -- .>,j r ' <one down to the city, as he often did. ' v / 4 got iaside all right, with a slide-lan- . .xpPth * breast-drill, a small steel jimmy, 1 , a, bunch of skeleton keys and a green- i ! f fNtioe bag to stow the swag. I fixed my w" ̂/ Kg t̂ and. rî jged my hreaat-drill, and - V.sk «ot t» wai* an tbe 4ear right over the i Xoek. . ^ •• C Probably a great many of vour readers it; ^ *lH i8 not m ?'eU Ported as tsio'about bank- £, '1" mwks, and I may say for tbom 'that a f'i, , , v wee-wheel combination lock has three 1 in It and a s'ot if: each wheel In Aider, to unlock the door yon have to «ei the three slots opposite ea#h other <«t the to|> of the lock. Of course, if ton know the number th *. lock is s«| on, you •an do this; but, if you dou't, you ii»ve 4o depend on your ingenuity. 'There is fa esicft of these wheels a small hole, through which yrm pat a wire through mn: ̂ back of the lock when you change r? Ate eooibination. Not?, if you can bore lin hole through the door and pickup Js I #K»se wheels by ranniDg a wire through ;i % If*086 ' w^y» «an of.«en the *«oor. 1 hope I make myself, clear. I - was boring that hole, the door Was ^ ' •jiWlM ircm--iamut the neatest stuff I •fver tv-orked on. I went on steady ' , ! #nough; only»top{>edwhenJkn--which, ^, tils I said, wasn't his real name, whittled ^ 5 ' *4Ataide, and the watehman toddled by. sod by, wheq I'd got pretty near y fhwwh, I heard Jim, so to speak, _ lirhistfe again. I stopped, and pretty I heard footsteps outside, and I'm Ml tt thajr <Mda t come right up the k steps, and I heard a key in the ock. I was so dumbfounded when I d that that yon Could have slipped 5; •'* 4he braoelete right on me. I picked up ,inylantern, and I'll be hanged if I Ji-, t let the slide slip down and throw s* * , 4he light right on to the door, and there \ . "was the President Instead of calling 'lf -^.tjjlor help, as I supposed he would, he took ^ ? ^ step inside the door and shaded his ! ', * , jeyes with his hand and looked at me. I r\ • ' "; vknowed I ought to knock him down and fS,, If /i!»«nt out, but I'm blest if I could, I was * i f *'• that surpr ised. v . . . 1 '• " Who are you?" says he. t . "Who are you?" says I, thinking ,t that was an innocent rem trk as he com­ menced it, and trying all the time to 'n markable degree of discretion. I con­ fess that T whonld not have thought of the paidtion in which I was placing yon* HflWiNBrtrttr, I c ŝi convince you thai it's all rigfet Do you know what Ihe Frasi- dent's name is?" "No, I don't," says 1, sorter surly. "Well, you'll find it on that bill,'* said he, taking a bill out of his pocket; " and you see the same name on these letters," and he took some letters from his coat. I suppose I ought to have gone right on then, but I was beginning to feel in- terested in making him prove who he tras, so I says : " You might have got them letters to pnt no a job on me." "You're a very honest man," says he; M one in a thousand. Don't think Fm at all offended at your per-istence. No, my good fellow, I like it, " and he laid his hand oh my shoulder. 8 • Now here," says he, taking a bundle out of his pocket, "is a package of $10,000 in bonds. A burglar wouldn't be apt to carry those around with him, would he ? I bought them in the city yesterday, and I stopped here on my way home to pl»«e them in the vauit, and, I may add, that yonr simple and manly honesty has so touched me that 1 would willingly leave them in your hands for safe keep­ ing. Yon needn't blush at my praise." I suppose I did turn sorter red when I sea them bonds. " Are you satisfied now?" says he. I told him I was, thoroughly, and so I was. So I picked up my diill again, FAI1 KOTOS. sewage as a fertilizer of beets have been WITH feoodoti certain varieties rafced weighing upwards of sixty pounds eaeh. THR first shipment of wheat from Chfc- oago was made in 1839, and ooosisted of seventy-eight bushels, which was carried via Jake to Buffalo, N. Y. THE Maryland farmers have so little faith in their agricultural college that .they are aalKug upon the Legislature to refuse an appropriation to the institution. TUB London Affricnihtral Gazette states as within its experience that a bull calf, taken from a pedigree Shorthorn cow, .has weighed above 190 pounds when removed from the dam. ONE who has been successful under the system of ensilage plants his oorn in hedges about thirty-two inches apart, agd about si*, inches wide, planting forty or'fifty kernels to the running foot, and secures thereby a wonderful growth. THE Canada thistle perpetuates itself chiefly by means of root stalks, which are full of dormant buds, and hence any piece an inch long will send up a stalk. A single plant in an ordinarily cultivated field will soon spread all over it bj means of the roots. IN A STATE of rest animals should be allowed as much water as they will take, but where they are likely to be called upon to perform severe exertion, smaller quantities are advisable, and in which and gave him the lantern to hold, so that j ease the allowance should be repeated at short intervals. | THE annual product of wheat in the | world is about 1,590,000,000 bushels. Of this the United States already pro­ duces 450,000,000 bushels, one-third of which we send over the sea. Ten years from now we shall produce a much larger portion of the whole, and shall send a much larger fraction of its abroad. TENDENCY to disease is hereditary in pigs, therefore it is well to know the pedigree and past history of your boars. Ninety per cent, of the stock of a large Yorkshire boar were more or less affected with lung disease. On inquiry, it turned out that the sire of the boar had died of inflammation of the lungs. WASHINGTON COUNTY, Pa., is said to be the largest wool-growing. ,«ounty in the Union, and produces annually 2,500,- 000 to 3,000,000 pounds of wodl, worth in cash $1,000,000 for the wool alone, besides the sale of fine sheqp far breed­ ing purposes, and mutton sheep and lambs for the meat market of the East. THE more exertion an, animal under­ goes the greater is the wear and tear of the system. Exercise increases the re­ spiration or breathjng, more oxygen is is consequently taken into the system, and the tissues of the body are burned up in proportion. Unless this extra waste is met by an additional supply of food emaciation and illness follow. THE wild boar differs from the tame hog in putting his hind feet into the marks of the fore feet. The cloven feet Of the tame hog divide as he walks; the wild boar, when he is walking without suspecting danger, keeps his claws close together. The wild hog buries his snout deep, rooting the earth up in a straight line before him; the tame hog turns it up right and left, here and there. The wild boar grows for for* or five yean and lives for twenty or thirty. AN ANALYSIS of a sample of apple pomace from a press of more than ordi­ nary power, and hence unusualy dry, was made at the Connecticut Agricul­ tural Experiment Station, with a result showing the pomace to carry food ele­ ments superior to corn fodder and to j turnips, mangels, and all of our root ! crops except the potato, and showing | but little inferiority to the last-named J tuber. The new system of ensilage I should render the preservation of apple I pomace a matter of ease and certainty, j IN SPBAKINO of his experience with feeding ensilnge to dairy stook, J. W. ! Walcott, of lteadville, Mass., states: J "As to the quality of the cream I NAN j say that by feeding fifty pounds of en­ silage maize, and one quart of cotton­ seed meal, thei increase over the amount when feeding English hay and six quarts of corn meal, averiiged twenty- five per oent. in milk, and ten per cent, in butter from the milk, which is a total gain in butter of thirty-seven and a half par cent. The butter brings the highest market price in Boston." I wouldn't go very far away from HOGS are gifted with an exquisite sense the bank." says I. °' 8mt'U as wjll as touch residing in the "No, I won't," says he; "I'll stay j snout, and this enables them to discover right about here all night." j roots, acorns, earth-nuts, or other delica- " Good-night," says I, and I shook hands with him, and me and Jim-- which wasn't his right name, you under­ stand--took the 12:80 express, and the best part of that job was we never hewed nothing of it. It never got, into the papers. I could see the door. I heard Jim, as I call him, outside once or twice, and I like to have burst out laughing^, think­ ing how he must be wondering what was going on inside. I worked away, and kept explaining to him what I was try­ ing to do. He was very much interested in mechanics, he* said, and he knowed as I was a man as was up in my business by the way I went to work. * He asked me about what wages I got, and how I liked my business, and said he took quite a fancy to me. I turned round once in awhile and looked at him a set­ ting up there as solemn as a biled owl, with my dark lantern m his blessed hand, and I'm blamed if I didn't think I should have to holler right out. I got through the lock pretty soon, and put in my wire and opened it Then he took hold of the door and opened tlia vault. "Til put my bonds in," said he," and go home. You can lock up and wait till Mr. Jennings comes. I don't sup­ pose you'll try to fix the lock to-night." I told him I shouldn't do any more with it now, as we could get in before morning. "Well, ITlbid you good night, my man," says he, as I swung the door to again. Just thenl heard Jim, by name, whis­ tle, and I guessed the watchman was a-- coming up the street. "Ah," says he, "you might speak to the watchman il you see him, and tell him to keep an extra look-out to­ night. " "I will,1 say* I, and we both went to the front door. " There comes the watchman up the street," says he. " "Watchman, this man has been fixing up the bank-lock, and I want you to keep a sharp look-out to­ night. He will stay here until Mr, Jennings returns." " Good night, again," says he. and we shook hands, and he went up the Street. I saw Jim, so called, in the Shadow on the other side of the street, as I stood on the step with the watchman. " Well," says I to the watchman, " I'll go and pick up my tools, and get ready to go." I went back into the bank, and it didn't take long to throw the door open and stuff them bonds into the bag. There were some boxes lying around and a safe as I should rather have liked to have tackled, but it seemed like tempting Providence after the luck we'd had. I looked at my watch and see it was just a quarter past 12. There was an express went through at half-past 12. I tucked my tools in the bag on the top of the bonds and walked out to the front door, The watchman was on the steps. "I don't believe Til wait for Mr. Jennings," says L "I suppose it will be aij nght if I give you his key." "ghat'sall right," says the wateh- Asbestos Paint* Some interesting tests have recently been made in England of the value of cies suitable to their palates, which may be buried in tho ground. In some parts of Italy swine are employed in hunting for truffles that grow some inches below the surface of the soil, and which form those pickles and sauces so highly es­ teemed by epicures. A pig is driven into a field, and there suffered to pursue his own course. Wherever he stops and begins to root with his nose, truffles will invariably be.found. FARMYABD manure wall decomposed is asbestos paint applied to wood, canvas, j specially suitable for grass lands, be- and other combustible materials. Among other experiments a piece of light pine wood, about six inches long by four inches square, painted with five coats, was placed for upwards of half an hour in an ordinary grate fire, but, although the wood within was reduced to char­ coal, there was no blaze whatever emit- cause it is slow and continuous in its j action, and is invariably found to main- i tain or restore a good variety of grasses, | clovers and other bottom herbage. The best success commonly follows the ap- ! plication' of such manure in the fall. | The sole application of salt or nitrate of soda has a natural tendency to encour- ted during the charring. A small model J age the growth of luxuriant grasses to ̂ : I'm the President of the bank,1' says .* * . kinder short; "something the mat- with the lock?" V • % By George ! the idea came to me then. ltd"jf-'l ' Yes. sir," says I, touching my cap ; "> If "Mr. Jennings, he telegraphed this t ' '-morning as,the lock was out of order v--r /tnd he couldn't get in, I'm come on 4 • to open it for him." , 4 - - "1 told Jenninps » week ago," says v he, "that he ouglit to get that lock J fixed. Where is he?" <>*<& theatre, built of wood, with net scenes and accessories, was sprinkled with .tur­ pentine and set on fire. Every portion ignited and the whole was consumed. A similar model, with the net scenes and the wood framing all painted with asbes­ tos, was drenched with turpentine and set fire to, but the thin scenes were only partially charred at the lower ends with the turpentine flames, whilst the timber­ ing was not even ignited. Similar illus­ trations were made with two models of larger size, about four feet cube, built the destruction of clovers and the finer kind of grasses. This is a general tend­ ency of ammoniacal salt, while super­ phosphate of lime, on the contrary, en­ courages the growth of clovers and leguminous plants generally. A. L. MUBDOCK, writing from London, States that mutton retails much higher in England than in this country. Thus j at a High street, Notting Hill, meat es- I tablishment legs and loins of mutton j were selling at 23 cents per pound, sad- ' dies at 22 cents, haunches at 23, slionl- ̂ . gbne®p8fo Ms LTise't? gefSott̂ ̂i °n/ b̂ dfî K * °fe ̂ hoard> ld£Tat20, whole necks at 18, breasts at v1 5 v.„ „ and set fire to by a bundle of shavings. ; 14 - -to answer. TV.* rm* b*d-nW I . , m ter he wanted for " Well, why don't you go right on?" •ays ha "I've got almost through," says I, "and I didn't want to finish up and <spei the vault till there was somebody here." "That's very creditable to you," says »e; a very proper sentiment, my man. Tou can't," he goes on, coming 'round t>y ttie door.̂ be too particular about •voiding the very suspicion of evil." « Rlr,«" 8ays ^n<^er modest like. ' •«_ !. ,y°u suppose id the matter With the lock ? " says he. ,^«**don't rightly know yet," says I; * but I rathe- think it's a little wor i9 on account of not being oiled enough. These ere l<xsks ought to be oiled about cnc<> a year. ** 8ay® he, " y<jti might as well go wght o», now I'm here; I will afcay J^mag9 ,Come*- I help you ? --hoM your lantern, or something of that sort?" , „ 6 Thm thought cam$'to me like a flash, and I turned around and said * * " Sow do I know you're the President' - fW* X aintefrer seen you afore, and y<#u may baa trying to oraek this bank for all I The one was burned, and the bed-plate set on fire. In the other case, where the framing, scenes and bt d-place had been painted asbestos, no ignition was effected, and, although the lower por­ tions of the lipht scenes were destroved , ui„i, {„ , , - , . ",h° i?r ̂miieauuwM I higher. In London sirloin roasts retail at 22 cents per pound, rib roasts at 22 trimmed chops at 28 cents per , pound. With beef at the same market it was notieeable that there was less range of prices l>etween the beat and poorest cuts fhan prevail in American city markets. Sirloin cuts are not so ?<•»' if t'i most na- A Goad SuggJstion. Let every Greeubacker send his name cents, side pieces at 20 to 21 cents, aitch bones 16 cents, brisket 14, beef steaks and postoffice address to Jesse Harper, \ 24, rump steaks 30 and shins at 16 cents •m > *11. Tit fAH o<%w/->11 rtV*4- UVI/3 I 'j TT . . 1 ... lMnville, 111., for enrollment and to form the half millon list of calls to action. Get some other names to ac­ company yours, and send at once. It will cost a trifle of postage and a few minutes of time. Do it at ohoe, and fion't forget it. A PAPEW laid belore the Biological Society of Paris tells ua, from a scientific point of view, what it is to be "dead drunk." It seems that this condition exists when the vital fluid presents the proportion of 1 of alcohol to 195 of biood. It is at this stage that most drunkards cease drinking, or we should have more deaths from alcoholism ; for when the inebriate continues to drink until each 100 partsoi blood contains ! 1 from 1880. per pound. Veal cutlets were selling at 80 cents per pound. W. 8. WARD, Fullers's Station, N, Y„ in the American Dee Journal, gives the following statement of his "profits with bees for one year: "For several years I have run a farm and apiary to­ gether. Last year I had my farm worked op the shares, and gave my time and ' attention to the bees, with flte following result: Commenced the season of 1881 with seventy-two oolonies; increased by natural swarming to 120; have sold 7,422 pounds of comb and 749 pounds of extracted honey, for which I received $995 06; my expenses were $18 TO which leaves §876.36 for my work, i l]a(l empty hives and honey racks left j wonll| thwg Wh0 part of alcohol, death invariably ensue*, thiakof sowing sweet clover for hay to try a ltttte at llwt as it makes pretty aom hay; bat it is on» of the best <rf honey pJ^ tThere are two kinds- white and yellow blossom. The white yielded white honey." The Journal adds thai VM #ite sweet clover is the variety wanted by bee-keepew. The yellow blooms two to three weeks earlier than the white, but bee* do not work in it, either for honey or pollen. HOUSEHOLD HELPS. . fftoAtrilttitai to Ihe Detroit Froo Prewi " rfeamttioM •• by HotMekeepera, and the reaulta of actual experiment*.] SPONGE OAK*.--Two eggs, half cup of cream, one cup of sugar, on© cup of floor, one teaspoonful of oream of tartar half teaspoonful of sada; flavor to taste! Extra nice.--3frs. California.. , SPITNGR PUFFS. -- Have ready some very hot lard, as for boiling doughnuts, and drop into it from a spoon some bread, sponge before any more flour is added, and when it is perfectly light. Let them get brown and well eot&ed through, and pull open and eat with butter for breakfast.--Keystone. • LEMON PIK.--One large lemon, the yellow grated, and all the pulp and juice used; oneoupsngar, a half cap water, and two large even spoonfuls of flour.- Beat the whites of eggs separately, with sugar added, then the yolks well beaten and the flour gradually. Bake the crust a little before putting the rest in. Bake brown. --Key si u ;> -s. BAKED O^BBAGB.--Boil ft firm head for fifteen minutes, then change the water for more boiling water; boil till tender, . drain and set aside to cool. Mince some boiled ham; mix with bread crumbs; add pepper, one tablespoonful of butter, and two eggs well beaten, and three tablespoonfuls of milk; chop cab­ bage very fine; * nflx all together and bake in a pudding-dish till brown. Serve hot.--Old Lady. CAKE OK FECIT SANDWICHES.--Cake or fruit sandwiches are made thus : Four eggs, their weight in flour, sugar, and butter; warm the butter and beat it to a cre|tm, then stir the flour and sugar into it gradually, beat up the eggs and stir them in. Beat the cake well for half an hour and bake in a rather quick oven. If for sandwiches slice the cake in half and put preserves between.--Corrpine. WHITE CAKE.--One cup of white sugar, one-third oup of melted butter whipped to a cream; add one-third cup of sweet milk and stir thoroughly; sift one cup of flour, one-third cup of oorn starch, and one heaping teaspoonful of baking powder together and add to the above mixture. Take the whites of four eggs, beat them to a very stiff froth, and add, stirring it well with the otaer; flavor with lemon; bake slowly, either in jelly- cake tins or in one cake. Excellent.-- Nip Up. IOE CREAJC CAKE.--Two cups of granu­ lated sugar, one cup of milk, two cups of flour, one cup of butter, one cup of corn starch, three teaspoonfuls of baking powder, whites of eight eggs. Icing-- Whites of four eggs and four cups of pulverized sugar. Pour one-half pint of boiling ovfer the sugar, boil until when dropped in water it is very stiff, but. not brittle. Pour over the beaten whites of the eggs and add, when hot, one-half teaspoonful of citric acid. Bake in layers.--D. Jt. PARSNIPS.--Wash well; scrape them, and cut in two or four pieces lengthwise ; boil in water with a little salt in it until tender, whiohwill be in from one-halt to three-quarters of an hour; when quite done dish up in a warm dish, with melted butter poured over them, or warmed butter with a little minced parsley in it; 'or xnaah 41ml ptuauips lutdfoim into small cakes, roll ill flour, or dip in egg or bread crumbs and fry a little brown ; send to the table very hot. You can also brown the parsnips sliced rather thin.--Corr­ pine. BAVABIAN CBEAM.--Whip one pint of cream to a stiff froth, laying it on a sieve. Boil another pint of cream or rich milk with a vanilla bean and two tablaspoon- fuls of sugar until it is well flavored; then take it off the fire and add a half a box of Cox's gelatine soaked for an hour in half a cupful of water in a warm place near the range; when slightly cooled stir in the yolks of four eggs well beaten. When it has become quite cold and be­ gins to thicken stir it without ceasing a few minutes uutil it is very smooth, then stir in the whipped cream lightly until it is well mixed. Put it into a mold or molds, and set it on ice or in some very cool place.--Corrpine. SOUTHERN FRUIT CAKE.--Six eggs, beaten separately, seven cupg of flour, three and ono-half cups of sugar, two cups 'of buttermilk, one and one-half cups of butter, two teaspoonfuls of soda, one teaspoonful of cloves, two teaspoon­ fuls of cinnamon, two teaspoonfuls of all­ spice, one teaspoonful of coriander seed, two nutmegs, grated one pound of raisins, one-half pound of currants, one pound of flags, dried, one pound of dates, one pound of pruues, one-half pound of citron, one-third pound of candied orange peel, grated rind of two lemons at*l juice of one, one tumbler of brandy. This recipe married off all our family, and these proportions will make enough slices " to go round."--K. L. TRANSPARENT CUSTARDS.--This is an old-fashioned and rather expensive cus­ tard, but so superior to any I've tasted that I've long since dropped all others, preferring this: Beat with one pound of sugar the yolks of sixteon eggs; set over .i slow fire and add gradually three- quarters of a pound of nicely creamed butter; stir constantly till the butter melts; remove from the fire and add a teacup of rich cream; thicken with ft tablespoonful of oorn starch; flavor with lemon; citron in small bits may be added; bake in puff paste a nieebrown; to be eaten cold. This recipe should be nat-d when making silver or ice-cream cake, which nails for the same anmbear of whites. -- Wife and Mother. A Persistent Spectre. While the subject of ghosts i1 attract- : ing attention, I will offer a nut for our : scientists to crock. For obvious'Reasons : I am compelled to omit the names. The j wife of one of our most distinguished ! scientific men--I use the term "most • distinguished" advisedly, since the repu- i tation of the man in question is cosmo- j politan--saw nightly an old man seated | in an arm-chair near tho fireplace in her j bedroom. Being thoroughly imbued ' with her husband's views upon scientific ! subjects, she held her peace, and tried, | with partial success, to convince herself : that it was a delusion. Somewhat later this room was eon- ! verted into a nursery, and ultimately in­ to a spare bedroom, with the result that each successive occupant, juvenile or of mature years, described the curious old man who came and sat by the fire. My scientific friend has "pished" ana "pshawed" at these statements, and has treated the whole matter as ridiculous. He has, however, been compelled to concede something to the vision or the delusion, and to quit the house. I sim­ ply advance this as a fact, and leayg| to others the task of explanation. VICTOR HUGO, fi?# years older] Longfellow, was bora m tha same < uie same month. HEALTH IHT^LLIQKNfE. ffnm Dr. Fnote'n Health Monthly*! OnvASm has stated these four essen- to a bp by'a well being: Plenty of water for the skin, plenty of milk for"the. stomach, plenty of fresh air for tho lungs, and plenty of sleep for the brain. DB. FIRTH, of Brooklyn, in giving his experience as a bald-headed man, tells bow he restored the growth of hair by persfetent use of crude kerosene. And ne has a suspicion that the use of it was really the means of curing a efrronic rheumatic tendency. THE Governor of Georgia has sanc­ tioned a law regulating the practice of medicine, and vetoed a bill legalizing the dissection of dead bodies. Evidently he desires that the inhabitants of hw State should get their medical education and experience elsewhere. DR. TJNWA, of Hamburg, says that the pigmentary matter which occasionally bhxjks up the pores of the face, produc­ ing black points or " flesh worms," is soluble in acids, and he therefore recom­ mends the free use of vinegar and lemon juice as a local application to soften and remove them. THE use of the eyes in while riding in can or wagons has been well compared to the effort of a person 'to walk a slack rope; the strain on the muscles that assist in vision being as great during the jolting of a car, as would be the strain upon the muscles of the limbs when trying to maintain one's balanofe^n a slack or even a tight rope. DR. j: V. QUIMBY, of Jersey City, has demonstrated by three cases that it is possible to chloroform a person in sleep without first awakening the sleeper. He. therefore, concludes that, in the hands of a skillful criminal, it might become an effective instrument in the accom­ plishment of his nefarious designs. PROFESSOR JAEGER, a German physiol­ ogist, advises the wearing of uhdercloth- ing made from sheep's wool. He under­ takes to show that in our organism there are certain gaseous, volatile substances which are continually being liberated in the acts of breathing and perspiring, and that one kind arouses feelings of pleasure, and the other sensations of dislike. Wool he says attracts tfye sub­ stance of pleasure, while clothing made of plant fiber favors the accumulation of the offensive substances of dislike. THE lirit. Hh Medical Jburnal asserts that the local effect of tobacco on the mucous membrane of the nose, throat, and ears is as predisposing to catarrhal diseases as is inefficient and insufficient clothing in the case of women--the fact being that such effect on the mucous membrane of the superior portion of the respiratory tract causes a more perma­ nent relaxation and congestion than any other known agent. Therefore, as to­ bacco depresses Lfce system while it is producing iff* pleasurable sensation, and as it prepares the mucous membrane to take on catarrhal inflammation from even slight exposure to cold, the Journal thinks it should require no further evi­ dence to show that its use ougfci to be discontinued by every oatarr-hal patient. THE Royal College of Physicians (England) has "resoluted" to the effect that its members may hold any theory they choose in regard to the action of remedies, and practice as they prefer, if they will only refrain from nsing any special designation or class name, suoh as homeopathistor electrician. The Med­ ical Record (New York) regards this as a direct invitation to all dissenters to drop their special designations and join the Royal College. A CORONER'S jury in Philadelphia at­ tributes the cause of death of Fred. Miller to imagination and fear. He had been bitten by a small dog, and though presen ting no symptoms of hydrophobia, ne died of fear in the belief that he had that much dreaded disease. This is the first case we remember to have seen of such a verdiot, but don't doubt that a similar verdict ought to have been ren­ dered in many cases which have been certified as true hydrophobia. r" : "T" Hammoih COT«. Bishop Warren gives this vivid des­ cription of the great eave : One's general idea of a cave is that of an open space under ground, or in a mountain side. Mammoth Cave is made up of passages, avenues, and tortuous crooks rather than of vast open spaces. You can take the short route (seven miles,) to be done in two hours, the long (sixteen miles,) to be done in fou$, the combined, to be done in from five to twelve or more. We chose the combined. There are avenues down which 0m. could drive a coach and four if fairly cleared up on the floor. There are places that are mere cracks, justlv named "fat man's misery," "tall man's Abasement," and "corkscrews." Here is the Iiiver Styx, Lake Lethe and Echo River, running under an arch so low that a little rise in the water renders passage impossible. Sometimes it rises unex­ pectedly and leaves parties in the dark beyond the arches unable to return till the water subsides. I saw the eyeless fish of these dark rivers; their principal use in this world being to serve Dr. nell for an illustration in his sermoft on " extirpation of unused faculties. Here and there amid these longi pas­ sages ure open spaces called " dopies," where the water-carved rock rises nine­ ty, or a hundred, or a hundred and thirty feet fr>n the floor. When these places are lighted up by the brilliant Bengal lights they are both weird and grand. The variety of formations in the cave surpasses anything I have ever witnessed. In most caves the stalactite and stalagmite systems are easily under­ stood, but the lower ends are delicately grooved in various directions, by whsA process it is impossible to imagine. In­ termingled with these ham-like figurers are variously ds*d guttae, as delicately cut a* those of the Greeks on the Parthenon. In some parts of the cave the gypsum has cystallized into snow-balls that glit­ ter over the whole roof; in other places there are delicate flowers, some ei^ht inches in diameter. The stalactite pil­ lars are comparatively few, but exceed­ ingly curious. In one place half a dozen farm a kind of bower in which four couples have been married. Tho first bride had promised her mother not to be married while she lived ou earth. A very foolish promise, and this was her way to keep it, and also get married. tie age of her (Htisens shall ne&r*«*- ; oped 63 years, and that the last year be-- | tweeij 67 and 6>S is to be passed niedita - i tively in a kind of honorable seclusion, | in a college established for that purpose, i where the old shall be "deposited" at j 67, and receive euthanasia a year after- j ward. The law^hos, it is supposed,{been I pasted by large majorities, but majori j ties of the young only, for the island, I which had been peopled from New Zealand, was peopled almost wholly by the young, while the few who were really old at the time of the settlement were exempted from its operation. Mr. Tori- lore works out his grim joke with agoqei deal qihiimor. <. \ \-'V/ [London AcademyJ I* life. Book's account of Hfe the Dayaks (the Head-Hunters of Bor­ neo) the great national custom of "head­ hunting" ha*, of course, a large place. In spite of the efforts of the Dutch to put it down it goes on etill so briskly outside of their borders that many tribes are on then* way to mutual extermina­ tion in order to get one another's skulls to wrap in banana leaves and hang up to decorate the houses. The boy's initia­ tion into manhood is to go op an. attack upon a neighboring tribe, for he cannot many until ne has a head to show as a piece of bravery. Nor does the blood­ thirsty business stop here, for the young warriors wedding, such public eveutaas the naming of a Rajah's newborn son, and above all, a Rajah's death, with its demand for heads'of enemies to be taken in order that their souls may go as his servants in the next world--these and otner reasons are always forthcoming to make war everlasting between tribe atd tribe. Yet our traveler confirms the contrast, so usual among barbarians, be­ tween this ferocity to aliens and the kindly home-life. The Tavaks much desired his European knick-knacks, and begged for them pertinaciously, but would never take the smallest thing without leave; they would hesitate if they could not give a satisfactory an­ swer, but they would not lie. The wo­ men have, of course, to work like beasts of burden, but the inen behave gently t them; everbody is kind to the children, and the sick are nursed and looked after by their friends with ready sympathy. According to the European standard of ethics, the head-hunters at oompare in some ways favorable not only with tho more civilized Malays, but even, we think, with some,folks nearer our own doors. The most ferocious tribo met with by the explorer was the Trings, who aye not only head-hunters, but can- nibble, eating the lx>dies of the enemies whose heads they take. In most Dayak villages there are posts set up which commemorate head-hunting exploits, while others have to do With the yet more ghastly sacrifice of debt-slaves. It was a relief to meet with a tribe, the Orang Bukkit, whose partly Malay de-' scent accounted for bead-hunting not be­ ing their custom. Nor indeed, did they have the Dayak practice called pomali, the secluding of people, or prohibiting access to fields or houses by setting up some such sign as a bundle of leaves on a stick. This is done in order to get £ood crops, or to shut off evil influences in sickness or mourning. Shipbuilding a Thousand Team Aga. It is not to be expected that a delicate structure such as this Viking ship could remain for eight or ten centuries buried many yards under ground with­ out sustaining some damage, or that she should peifactlv retain herorigintd form. It is rather a matter of surprise that th<j damage is so small as it is. Thanks to earefnl handling and a judicious arrange­ ment of support, there is reason to be­ lieve that, apart from the local strains and contortions of form, the hull as it now stands represents very closely the ship as she appeared when put into the ground. Mr. Archer has taken off her lines with as much accuracy as circum­ stances would permit, and referring to these lines, he explains the chief peculi­ arities of the construction. The princi­ pal dimensions are: Length between the rabbets and gunwale, 77 feet 11 inches; breadth, extreme, 16 feet 7 inoh- es; der th from top of keel to gunwale amidships, 5 feet 9 inches. The vessel is clinker built, and the material all oak. There are sixteen strakes of outside planking, the ordinary thickness 1 inch, average breadth amidships 9 1-2 inches, including 1 inch land. The lengths vary from 8 to 24 feet. The scantling is not, however, uniform throughout; thus the tenth plank from the keel is about 8 inches broad and 2 inches thick, and forms a shelf for the beam ends. The fourteenth plank from the keel, or third from the top is about 10 inches wide and 11-4 inches thick. This plank, which we may call the "main wale," is perfor­ ated with holes for the oars, 16 oh each side, about 4 inches diameter, and pro­ vided with » slit at the after and upper edge to allow the blades of the pars to be passed through from inboard. The two upper strakes are the thinest of all, being scarcely more than 3-4 inch. The gunwale, 3 inches by 4 1-2 inches, is placed in the usual manner inside the top strake. The boards are throughout united to each other by iron rivets about the thickness of an ordinary 4-inch spike spaced from 6 to 8 inches, with large flat heads 1 inch diameter. The riveting plates are square, or nearly so, 3-4 inch. The nails are driven from the outside, except near the ends, where riveting in- 'side would have been difficult from the sharpness of the vessel. The nails are here driven from the inside and riveted* outside. The garboard strake is fastened to the keel with rivets of the same as those used for joining the strakes with each other. "The Fixed Period." Anthbny Trollope has followed Charles Lamb's advice and taken to writing for antiquity. His hew novel, "The Fixed Period," is a humorous sketch of life toward the end of the twentieth cent­ ury, as it might be affected by an at­ tempt to reconstruct the conditions of human existence so as to cut off alto­ gether from it the period of dwindling and decaying powers, and fix an inevi- taM.lm.it HARI80N.,""'.j' uktab- 1^3 that F. B. PATKOXIZE home industry and your Cigars of Barhian Bros. T • • ,r>- • j .,v. .'x&Ji j&wssr i ! Settling a Debating Qaestien. j |New York Tribune.] I A terrible disaster menaces the village ; debating society. Its time-honored i subject for discussion--"Which is the i mother of the chicken, the hen that lays | the egg, or the hen that hatches it?"--is to l>e solved, once and forever, by the electrician. It will, nay, it is already, shown that the place of the latter fowl may be filled by a mere machine, to which the name of mother can scarcely well be applied. And now the scientist is about to overcome tho last defects of the incubator. A thermometer is se connected with magnates and wires and dynamos that a ventilator is opened when the heat rises too high, and is closed when it falls too low. So much to prevent the transformation of the incipient chicks into omelette. But "time's noblest offspring is its last," and the latest improvement of tli6 hatching- machine is the crowning one. It has been observed that machine-hatched chickens suffer from lonesomeness, and do not eat so well as those who hear a mother's constant voice; and so the elec­ trician Is now constructing a telephone which will convey to the motherless chicks, scattered iu different cages about a meadow, the clucking of a oentral hen. Henceforth there will be no excuse for any hen spending her time in sitting, and the debating society's theme wUl exist only as a matter of history. «X" •M V PITH Aicn pomrr. \ ' la THE shorn lamb a wether profit? PAH, green is the fashionable color for buckets. , ' -;j;' t >-V. THR quail is ft timid bird, bat tt gals' cialiy di-s game. WAS the modern Roman punch copied from an ancient Roman frieze ? HENRY WMTERSOK says the Parisians who eat jtk>-ka>ses are cannibals. A MAN is like an egg. You can't tel^ wlu-ther or not he's good until he's "broke." - Huw CAN a man lie and maintain his reputation? Have the reputation of ue- ing a liat. ANIMATE like sport as well as other folks. In the South it is quiie a com­ mon thing to see a cat fish. THE difference between a blonde and ft locomotive is that one has a light head and the other a headlight. A PUDDING-BAG is a pudding-bag, and a pudding-bag has what everything else has ; what is it ? A name. " WHOM does this portrait repre­ sent?" " My mother-in-law." "Ah, that I might have discovered .by the striking resemblance to yourself. THEY must have learrfed sheep In Texas, for a farmer in Travis advertises for '1 an industrious man, to take charge of 5,000 sheep, who can talk Spanish." A DeuBMN newspaper contained the following : " I hereby warn all persons from trusting my wife, Ellen Flannigan, on my acoount, as I am not married to be'." "INTEMJOBNT 1" said the man, of his setter dog. "He knows a heap, sir. Why, once he took a dislike to a man,, and went out and induced the man to kick him, so I would whip the man | Fact, sir!" A WISCONSIN woman, who was lost in the woods for three days, says she didn't suffer much, but was greatly annoyed by her absence of mind in not bringing along a small loolung-glass.--Detroit Free Pres». A YOUNG man who went to the circus and stepped too near the monkey's cage had his arm seized and savagely jerked by one of che monkeys. He would have escaped safely if he had not said, ' It is merely a monkey wrench," but when they heard that the infuriated crowd threw him into the lion's cage. " You seem to be a man who is hard 2» for money," said Gilhooly, who is ways tiying to borrow money, to Col. Lordly. " You are mistaken, sir," re­ sponded Lordly, loftily; "I am well provided with money." "Blamed glad to hear it. Let me congratulate you that you are in such affluent circum­ stances, and--and--then you won't ob- jeot to lending me $5."--Texas Sifting«, I PAINT without colore, I fly without wings, I people the air with most fanciful things; I hear sweetest nimrio wheie no nouad le heawfc?"7 And eloquence moves me, nor utters a word. ' The past and the present together I bring, i:v ^ '" Xte distant and near gather under nay wing; ' ' ' ' Far ewitter than lightning my wonderful flight, Through the sunshine of day, or the darkneM tt night; And tboee who would find m«, must find me. Indeed, Aa thiK picture they scan and this poesy they read. Imagination. " I WANT to tell you fair and square," said the customer from the interior, " that the very next time you send me another barrel of molas3es which is short a whole pint, I'm going to transfer my custom to a firm which gives deadweight and full measure. Have you got any coffee which is put up in sacks that will make a bed-quilt good enough for children ?"--Detroit Free Frees. BKECH0B says it is easy to be good and do right if the head, .liver, bowels and heart are all in good working order. We'll bet a dollar and a half with Henry Ward that when a man's vital organs are in good condition, he feels more like "raising the old boy" than he does when he is broken-up with the head­ ache, liver-complaint, dyspeptio stom­ ach, wind-colic and heartburn.--New Haven Hegister. THE topic of suicide was in discussion i,I in a mixed company, over in the City of Churches, aud, whan every one had had his or her say, a yOung lady solemnly concluded and summed up the inter­ change of opinions as follows : " Yes, I know it's immoral, and wicked, and everything; but none of you seemed to have looked at it in quite the right light. Committing suicide is like--like going to a party withotft aa invitation!" --New York World. W. F., WACO. -- "Please answer through the columns of your next paper the cause of those large holes in the ground, known as hog-wallows. I ani hurting to know." Hog-wallows owe their origin to the cymophauous scar­ ification of cosmical atoms being ru­ be scent while in a liquescent and dephlegmatie condition prior to the crystallization and erubescence of amylaceous secretions and delacerations of the substratum of the old jurassic brown sand-stone while in a coagulated condition. Do you catch on?--Texas &iftinga. . .. • Looked Well to the Main Chancitf In a village in France, a poor woman (widow of an innkeeper) was weeping bitterly, while two neighbors were ar­ ranging the body of her husband in its coffin. "They've put a fine linen shirt upon him!" she murmured. "They've used a new sheet!" While she was uttering *hi« lament, some friends from without called the neighbors away, and she was left alone. A bright idea struck her at once. A few days before the death a troupe of come­ dians had stopped at her house, and be­ ing unable to pay their score, they left some old eomic costumes by way of security. The widow ran to the cup­ board. Just the thing--here is a com­ plete harlequin's suit. With all possible dispatch she opens the coffin, withdraws the fine shirt and new sheet, dresses the body in the harlequin's dress, covers the bodvand returns to her chimney cor­ ner. Unfortunately, however, the husband was m a state of coma only.. The porters arrive, bear the body away upon their shonldens, and make tiipir way to the church, followed byjthe widow, who • is weeping now wjrfh one eye only. ! Suddenly a strange^noise is heard; the corpse moves; the Porters are frightened j and drop the coffla, which breaks and discovers harlequin inliis nix-and-thirty ! colors. Imagine the confusion of the woman, and the astonishment of the ; crowd, to say nothing of that of th* j Harlequin htmnftM. Self-Restraint. i Under some circumstance* enthini- «*m shouldn't be repressed, But because | the value of self-restraint is so manifest ; I in many directions, the mistake is often I made of supposing it to be equally vatu- J able in all. Thus it happens that en- i thiiBiasm is checked that ought to Be I welcomed, feelings are kept back that ! should be expressed, desires are subdued I that should be gratified, and sympathies quenched that might have blessed the community. THB Chicago Tribttm says, "Houm* are advancing." Who mfm kwd «A- plows going backward? K';. iQ U '€0 8';! t'S' m t: I ids* \ .•a SS"