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PPFFS *' ' J" • "»R~RI :• *- fTbe fullwiiliift poem was written by S«, MMI IBUM, wMie a student at William* On^S^s.] flUiattamtatrtliinl Upoa the earth And in tbe bttwiM the algae of talk m hoc; Far o'er tbeaurtfc'a brown bwat stalks pal* iitiy, And 'moag the lowering oknids tfae wild winds nil, AND, atghtng wkdhr, «hont the HI«B lii|* <*er Bnmmer's fairest flowers, *11 faded now. Tha winter god, d«eecmdiug from the skies. Has reached the mountain tops, and decked Malt brow* Wfc glittering freely crowna, aad laeathed Ml liriniti AnoDg the trampet pines, that herald fcrtti BL WANING. \ Before the driving blast '. , i Ska mountain oak bowa down bis hoary ' Aad fling* hia withered lock* to the roagb 1 That fiercely roar anions bia branetaea bare, ^; Qplilted to the dark, unp;tying heavena. - The skies have put Oioir mourning garments CM- Ana bong their funemS drapery on tl Daad natare will aoon wear her ahro.ula at 1 And lie lntombed in winter's icy grave. Hi X. TBOE PASSES life. A* heavy age oomee on, - Tbe JOYS of youth- bright beantlee of tfte cprihg-- Grow DIM and faded, and the long, dark night Of death's «hil) wiut r conren. Bat as the spring Beboild* tbe NATUS of wi TER'S waste, And cbeera tho gloomy earth with joyooa tight, So O'ER the tomb the STAR of hope shall line And uahar in an ever-during day. A COQUETTE'S VICTIM. A large and splendid hall, lit by glis­ tening chandeliers and ornamented with all the taste and luxury of artistic skill; filled with an atmosphere of light and music and perfume; haunted by groups of lovely women and distinguished men, dl glorified by "that spirit of pleasure and splendor that one finds in such gath­ erings. Through the long parlors, hong with gorgeous draperies and rare paintings, i .beneath the fretted ceilings of blue and " silver, crimson and gold, floated the j A farms of the proudest and fairest, clad j in filmy robes of white, or rich, rustling | brocades, chatting, fir ting and dancing 1 in the vague, tremulous glitter of the 1 light that made the place one blaze of enchantment. Soft, dreamy music swelled on the air, ^ its rhythm marked by the light step of dancers, yet subdued and rendered indistinct by the constant hum of sweet voices everywhere. Couples passed to and fro, or lingered about the doorways, talking of love, of pleasure and of the scene before them.. 8taid diplomats and rulers sat at the cssd tables playing dignified whist with stately matrons---the belles of a past generation. Others in an adjoining sa­ loon discussed a magnificent collation. The farthest of these parlors opened into a large conservatory, where long and graceful air plants trailed downward from their mossy baskets, and the dark green leaves of the lemon trees exhaled • grateful aroma. Strange tropical plants, with broad variegated leaves, grew rank and fibrous in marble vases along the balustrade; heavy vines clam­ bered up their trellises, with pendant bells of azure, gold or crimson, showing bright amid the feathery foliage. A soft light, dim roseate, fell upon these leafy treasures from ground glass globes of a faint pink hue, scattered here and there among the evergreens. No place could have been more fitting and appropriate to the pursuit of the divine social science--flirtation--than this same conservatory. In cozy al­ coves, where the orange and magnolia trees were embowered by the tracery of the ivy vine, were placed rustic seats of curiously-joined branches; and here, in the cool sound of a silvery fountain and the heavy fragrance of the blossoms, one might sit with one's partner and whisper the enfan tillages of love without fear of reproach. I11 one of these alcoves--the most se­ cluded of all--btirrounded by the thick «nd odoroua leafage of the trees and vines, sat Lee Baston and Maggie Lov­ ell. As usual, she was weaving her web of fascination--honeying her words, modulating her exquisite voioe, flashing hear brilliant glances from underneath her long drooping lashes, artlessly toy­ ing with the watch~chaia or eye-glass of her cavalier, and exerting all those little 'blandishments, seeining innocent enough in themselves, but which tighten each moment the adamant fetters of passion's slavery abjut the victim's senses. Lee fiaston--young, talented,wealthy, already celebrated in the political world --was an excellent object for the con­ summate skill of this coquette. More said more inclined to admire her at each meeting, he had been insensibly drawn on from one step to another until this night, when the dance, the wine, the mnsic, the lights, the gayety, the brill­ iancy of all surroundings had somewhat bewildered him with a sweet and vo­ luptuous delirium. Then tbe cool retirement of the ooB- \ \ (ratory, with its shadowy recesses, its ceaseless plashing of falling waters, its aromatic and languor-inspiring odors, and its vague reverberations of the fes­ tivities within, invited only the dreams and thoughts of love. A half-hour's conversation, hovering nearer and nearer to the dangerous topic, a silent but doubly-eloquent pause, a few burning, impassioned words of declaration, and Maggie IJOveil's emp­ ty triumph was attMued. She laughed a low, musical, but me­ tallic laugh. " My friend," she said, "do not talk in that strain--I shall fancy you are in earnest." 14 My God! in earnest! Do you not believe me, THEN ? Oh, Maggie, I swear it ! I love you wholly ! I--" There was a husky intimation in. his voice, and he stopped without finishing his sentence. •* No--I do not know what you mean. I--I--indeed I do not know" what you mean. Ton surely cannot be serious. Ton frighten me J" HE dropped the delicate, white-gloved hand he had been holding, and looked long and earnestly into her eyes. " Do I hear you aright ? " •'Yes I'must go now. I am very, very sorry you have BO misunderstood me. Never refer to this scene again. It has been as painful for me as for you." " And this is the end?" "Yes. I pity vou. Goodnight." Her purple velvet rustled against the shrubbery, and Baston was alone. " Pity me! Great heaven, I had rattier she had laughed in my face !" » * * • • The Conversation Haas of Baden- Baden is one of the " peculiar institu­ tions" of the continent. Here are a great ball-room, a theater, a restaurant, a library, A reading-room, dressing- looms, and lastly, though most promin­ ent of all, gambling saloons of infinite splendor, where millions change hands every year. Day and night, from the week's end to the week's end, sit silent rows of men and WOMFN--rich and poor, young and old, gentle and simple--around the in­ fernal gaming tables of this strange house. The laborer hesitatingly lays down his few coins--the fruit, it may be, of long and weary toil; >he Prince drops his rouleau of Napoleons on his favorite card or color; the professional player, with the cold gravity of his class, spec­ ulates rapidly but Carefully, and depos­ its his muoh or little with perfect non­ chalance. At the end of one of these tables sat Lee Baston. Everybody knew him at Baden-Baden ̂ For the entire season he had taken that same place at noon, and stolidly vot or lost until 5 or 6 in the afternoon of everyday. Sometimes his fortune was good and he won enormous •tuna; at other times fate frowned, and his losses were equally startling. It made not a particle of difference how hia luck ran, however. He saw the croupier's shovel pass out a shining eargo, or take remove a glittering win- row of louia d'ors with the same ex­ pression and apathetic mien. He was seeking excitement, poor fellow! but neither the fluctuating changes of rou­ lette and rouge-et-noir, nor the goblets -of bi an ly that the waiters hronjpt him from time to time seemed to satisfy his craving. Simply, whenever the croup­ ier's rake or shovel diminished or in­ creased his pile of rouleaux, he finished his brandy at a draught and made fresh investments. Such a horrible life could not long continue without giving extreme evi­ dence of its results. Baston gradually grew thin, pallid, dry and mortuary in complexion and feature. His hair and mustache began to be visibly sprinkled with gray. His nose and chin sharpened, his hands grew tremulous, deep wrinkles appeared about his eyes and cheeks, and underneath the former the skin assumed a dull, lead-colored look. In a word, .the decadence of life, falling upon his soul, affected his body, and, though only two-and-thirty, he bore more marks of age than a healthy man should at two- aiid-fifty. The brandy that he took, neverthe­ less, did its work upon his physical sys­ tem. The point of his nose became livid, and minute purple veins meandered just beneath the surface of the skin. His eyes lost the humidity that gives those organs their brightness and glitter. Always clean-shaven and scrupulously elegant in his attire, he still had the ail of a descending man, going swiftly and surely to a ruin worse than death. After play he dined--almost always •lone--in the restaurant of the Conver­ sation Haus, sad in the evening loitered about the lobbies of the theaters. Al­ though, as I HAVE said, every one knew him, it was rather to avoid than to seek his companionship. This, however, pro­ duced no more effect upon his spirits than any other outward circumstance. Having no belief in, or love for, human­ ity, human sympathy waa as much a matter of indifference as human hate. * This extraordinary and fearfully ab­ normal condition is happily rare. Few spirits are so originated as to suffer a blight which may be termed, perhaps, a spiritual death, except through longer and more persistent agony than most men ever nave to undergo. Baston, however, was of tbe sensitive kind. . He had placed his whole life in one pas­ sion and saw everything through the medium oi that passion. Hence, when cruelly disillusionne, he decided at once that all women were like Maggie Lovell. To a flippant nature, such a thorough disenchantment seems impossible; but only because the thoroughness of the enchantment seems equally sc. With a less evenly balanced intellect, Baston would undoubtedly have taken his own life; but where the soul's vitali­ ty is already gone there is little tempta­ tion to self-murder. So he lived on, mechanically, and his weary hours were ONLY marked by the'evil and unwhole­ some incidents of the gambling tables. • * • * * A heavy, DUN fog lay upon the bosom of the Hudson,, veiling its shores from sight, and making the vessels that lay motionless in the stream look ghostly and distorted. The sounds of the city and the noise of sailors at work came oonfusedly and indistinct over the water. The swift, smooth tide flowed down past the piers and slips where deep, dark cur- rente eddied round and round among the piles, bearing fragments of drift--straw, wood, bottles and buoyant rubbish-- that went bobbing about in circles far awhile, until, gaining the stream, they hurried, fast and silent, down the river to the bay and out toward the broad ooean. A light breeise occasionally wafted the heavy mist hither and thither, dis­ closing for a moment a gray sail of a schooner or the high, black hulk of a frigate, which faded away again on the instant, like the phantom ships of old nautical traditions. / From the western shore of the harbor the muffled and di^tant sound of oars rattling in the /tow-locks and splashing in the water indicated the course of a row boat. AN old and dilapidated seine- skiff, rusty and greasy, speckled with fish scales and; worn by rough usage, crept slowly out from Communipaw and threaded its way aniong the countless stakes of the shad nets that bristle above the surface of that portion of the bay. It was rowed by a father aud son, lanky, tow headed, brown faced men, with hairy arms and hands mis shapen from constant pul ing at the oars and net- ropes. Bough of manner, uncouth of ge&ture, low of ambition and slow of comprehension, thf.se fishermen, never­ theless, had a full share of the natural kindness of heart and human sympathy that characterize the humble every­ where. They worked together in storm and shine, and shared their gains and their bread, without the biekering that so frequently mar the relations between more cultivated men. Bowing from stake to stake, they hitched up the net, ring by ring, and as soon as a fish appeared above water, hanging by the gills in the wide meshes, removed it and placed it in a bed of eel- grass on the bottom of the boat. "Tauten up that line a little more, Jemmy," said the father, in a rough but good-humored voice ; "the net sags here." - T "Hold on by that stake, then, till I getfor'ard. Seems tome it's darned heavy this mornin'." " Can't you h'ist it ? Here, gi* me a holt onto it." Jemmy had, in fact, been pulling with all his strength of thew and sinew to raise the net where it sagged down by the stake, but in vain. His father's strong arm was brought to bear also, and after a tug or two and a " now then 1" the net began to arise, but slowly and heavily. "There's a big ketch, I guess. It's time we had some luck anyhow." , „ The old man did not reply. His practiced eye, piercing the green trans- lucency of the Water, detected a dark mass some feet below, which came up with the net As it approached, the sur­ face Jimmy saw it, too. " It's a corp', father 1" . "Yes." "Don't let's take that in?the boat.*- " We'll git something from the Coroner fur it, boy. Bear a hand." In truth the finders of floating bodies are entitled to a fee from the Coroner's office, and the old fisherman was not averse to receiving a few dollars, even though the duty to be performed was a disagreeable one. The corpse, then, was lifted from the water and placed in the stern of the skiff with that simple reverence that death inspires among the lowly. It was | the body of a man apparently advanced ; in years. Removing the siimy seaweed ' and sand that had shrouded the features, j the fishermen saw a sharp-cut face, strongly marked with lines of care or, and bearing traces of DISSIPA­ TION. The garment*, which remained entire uposi the bedy, were plain and fashionable, Mid a diamond ornamented the delicate cambric shirt front. "He was a gentleman" said the old man; " mebbe his friends will give us somethin* h&raaome." Jemmy, unused to such incidents, oared little to talk about it, and the row to shore was silent and expeditious. The Coroner's examination resulted in a verdict of "death by drowning." Papers found on the body showed that it was that of Lee Baston. An investigation, made by the author­ ities, explained his death. Coming home from Europe, weary of life, and shattered in health, he had devoted himself entirely to the brandy bottle. The delirium tremens--the awful aveng­ er of outraged nature--had. attacked him on the passage, and while the steamer lay at her dock in Jersey City, he had fallen overboard in a fit of de­ lirium. Truly, a terrible death, terminating a terrible lifef " Who could have imagined such A future for Mr. Baston two year? ago ?" said Maggie Lovell; " drowned while insane from intemperance ! Why, when I knew him he was very respectable and quite a delightful man." " All!" chirped little Munson, who was himself just then madly infatuated with Maggie ; " ah ! this intemperanoe IS shocking. But no man of any soul ever falls a victim to it. If your friend Baston had known what love was he could never have stooped to the vulgar intoxication of the bottle." " True. I flirted with HIM once, and he did not understand it at alL poor soul!" PA' .TJEITT MEDICIIA8. How to Gain A Day. The dropping of a day in going acme the Pacific ocean eastward, say from San Francisco to Yokohama, in JAPAN) is not very difficult to understand, though many persons seem puzzled over it. Even the Hon. James Brooks, in his sketchy volume, "A Seven Months' Bun UP and Down and Around the World," written in 1S71, says : "Yesterday was Thursday, to-day is Saturday, June 17; we have dropped out Friday, which ought to have been June 16 this year; there are but six days this week--nay. only five, from Sunday to Sunday. I atn puzzling over this in geography and ou cliart, and, though doubtless it is clear enough to the navigator and as­ tronomer, I have found it not so easy to ST >RA it away in my head. * * * WE are not in Gibeon, nor the valley of A.j UON, with enemies to avenge, as JJ-IINIA had when he ordered the sun and m<>on to stand still, but the sun stands still to us in this wild wilderness of waters, as we lose the day." In brief explanation, let any one im­ agine himself to start at noonday and travel to the westward as rapidly as the sun--or, more correctly, as the earth turns eastward on its axis--it is evident that to him there would be no rising or setting of the sun; there could be none, for the sun would be constantly over­ head. In like manner, if one were to start eastward at noon and travel at the same rapid rate, say 1,000 miles an hour, there would be to bim two full days in twenty-four hours--I. e., two Bun-ris- ings, two noons, two sunsets and two nights. Now the reason for adding or dropping a day while crossing the Pa­ cific, instead of the Atlantic, or Indian, or any other ooean, is because the 180th parallel of longitude east or west is found there--that is, the point immediately on the opposite side of the earth from the observatory in Greenwich, near London, which navigators uniformly count as the starting point, or zero. ID traveling eastward, or against the sun's apparent course, it is necessary to drop M day, and for convenience and uniformity this is done at the 180th par­ allel ; in like manner, in moving west­ ward, or with the sun, one day must be added or counted twice. IF this were not done, the traveler would find on ar­ riving at his journey's end that he was either one day ahead or behind those whom he had left at home--that accord­ ing as he had gone east or west around the world he had gained or lost a day, both of the week and month. In other words, Mr. Smith, who left Chicago (the real oenter of the earth's influence) on the 1st day of last January for a trip via Ban Francisco, Japan, India, Egypt, etc., reaching home for Christmas, wiU have 366 days during tbe year 1882, while Mr. Jones, who started eastward around the world, will show but 364 days' work during the same year of grace. The three or four minutes of time gained or lost each day, being put together, make up one day in the aggre­ gate, and is dropped out or added, aa stated above, at a point exactly opposite Greenwich, etc., 180 degreeiL OR/one- half of 360 degrees, the nnmWm any circle.--Chicago Inter Ocean. The Model Husband. The wife of a Philadelphia broker asked her husband to give her $1,000 on which to speculate, and, like the good man he is, he complied. In a day or two opportunity offered to buy some railway bonds at very low figures, and she invested. VVhen he came home that night she remarked : " George, it seems as if I remember of your having some Blank county rail­ way bonds." I • "Yes, I did." "Just $1,000 worth, wasn't it? " "Exactly.". " And you sold them ? ** «' Yesto-day." " What are they worth?" * "About 10 per cent." "What!" she shrieked. "Why I bought those very bonds and paid 95 for them!" "Just so, darling; just so. You wanted to speculate ; I knew you would get bitten. I therefore arranged it to cover the most of that $1,000 back into my wallet." '" But, sir-- !" "Be calm, Maria; be calm. If ydu lose your temper that way you'll NEVER have any luck buying On an excited market You ought to be proud of a husband who can rake in $700 or $800 on one little speculation like that!"-- W$ll Street News. A Corner in Trousers. There are corners in oil, in teas, in beans, in mining stocks and railway stocks, in wheat, in corn--and why not corners in trousers ? That was the im­ portant question asked himself recently bv A great financial nobleman of Berlin while at his tailor's. The cloth was of an extraordinary pattern. Palpably it would create a sensation in the Bourse. " I would like to monopolize that pat­ tern," he said to the tailor; " just see how'many pairs of trousers it will make." The tailor calculated, and said that eighty-three pairs of trousers could be made from the bundle of cloth. " I will take them all--it would be very dis­ agreeable if one of my colleagues were to appear in a similar pair." His or­ ders were obeyed; and now he glories in having more pairs of trousers of a re­ splendent pattern than any other nan in Berlin. • INA^ II • • • WA %mw! DMUNHI T^IE patent medicine business, says a New York journal, has assumed suoh enormous proportions that the largest dealers say that sometimes thev oan scarcely realize that so much money is invested in it. Without the most ex­ tensive newspaper advertising they admit the business would fall away and be almost -unheard of. They are satisfied that this would be the condition of af­ fairs with them notwithstanding their irremovable opinion that many of the articles have genuine merit, and when properly used accomplish good results. That the business may prosper MILLING of dollars are expended every year in advertising. When the manufacturer of an article, after ten years of wide­ spread advertising, discontinues this plan of keeping it before the publio the sales generally fall off about 75 per cent., and then a steady demand, which con­ tinues for many years, is reached. A reporter visited an establishment, which is the only one of its kind in the city, where patent medicines and other pre­ parations of the apothecary and druggist are exclusively sold. The sevenlong floors of this building were filled with articles invented for the cure of every disease which flesh is heir to. Twenty years ago this proprietor started in a small way with three patented preparations, and at the pres­ ent time he deals in over 5,0°0 different articles. The gentleman who showed the reporter through the place, and who had been engaged in the business for many years, insisted that he had never heard of any person who died, was in­ jured or disfigured through the proper use of any of the 5,000 articles. Some­ times, he said, a mother would, of oourse, pour a bottle of soothing sirup down the throat of an infant, and then when the ohild died, there would be a great hub­ bub. The reporter's informant said that there is no dull season in the patent- medicine business, as there is in the dry-goods trade. When the season for cough sirups has passed the cholera medicines find a ready market. Tooth­ ache is common throughout the year, and thus remedies for that distressing complaint are always salable. Hair restoratives are briskly called for in spring, summer, autumn and winter, and tonics likewise prevail at all REASONS of the year. The salesman estimated that there are 25,000 druggists and fully 30,- 000 physicians in the United States, and said that the patent-medicine dealers find much favor among the physicians «B well as the drug­ gists. While the reporter was running against boxes filled with all kinds of preparations, the salesman pointed to a pile of. boxes, each less than two feet square. "Ihose," he said, "contain pills. We sell one of the boxes for $432, and you will observe," he added, with a smile, "that that is rather an expensive box of pills." Then he figured up the oost of a pile of boxes that seemed almost lost in the vast amount of other boxes in the room, and said : "There we have $9,072 worth of pills," and that will give you a faint idea of the amount of money invested in patent medicines in this build­ ing. The salesman said that the dealer will not venture any money in a new article unless he buys it from the manufacturer or pays the inventor for the everlasting right to manufacture it. He will not ac­ cept a patent article, advertise it and make it profitable, so that the inventor can at some time take it from him AND manufacture it himself. The inventor must either manufacture and advertise the article himself, or sell the patent to the manufacturer and have done with it. Looking at a half-dozen preparations for corns, the salesman said that there are fully 2,000 different corn cures sold by dealers. The reporter,IW permitted to. see a list of the various preparations on sale. The number of balms for the lungs, rheumatism, CONSUMPTION, etc., num­ bered 46; balsams, 96; stomach bitters, 106; cordials, 48; catarrh, asthma, skin, cough, rheumatic, heart, cholera, dyspepsia, ague and other cures, 137; drops, 48; elixirs, 77; extracts, 131; hair dyes, 23 ; hair tonics, 16 ; liniments, 151; lotions, 34 ; lozengeg, 57; hair oils and cod liver oil preparations, 150; ointments, 87; pills, 812; plasters, 157; powders, 163: various remedies, 142; different kinds of hair restorers, 68; salts, 29; salves, 75; snuffs, 18; soaps, 129 ; specifics, 66; &yrups, 188; tablets, 27 ; tonics, 51; troches, 32, and medicinal waters, 75. Beside thebe articles there were many others with extraordinary names, and the salesman said that to be a good salesman iii such an establish­ ment it was necessary to remember all of the 5,000 different articles in the place. Japanese English. For the benefit of English visitors to the Grand Exhibition at Osaka, the au­ thorities are stated to have affixed the following notices in various parts of the building: "Visitorsnot allowed to touch tile articles without permission of watch­ men " Visitors must recomplaoe the articles if they have done any damage;" " First entrance for visitors to visit all arranging of articles." The crowning effort seems to have been the following mysterious inscription upon a curious antique canoe: "This boat was diggen on from the ground which is belongs to S. Sakura'S own "property when was digging up the river called Itachi-kawa at Numba-mura, 1878. Therefore this is an ancient boat, which had been used before or after thousand years, and per­ haps this is ancient Utsubo-Fune." The LAW of Massdsaeax. It would be a blessing aud a kindnena to poor, wenk. nervous, debilitated, Buffering humanity, if DRUKCIATA would stop Belling the mauv vile purgative piHs and cathartic com pounds adver­ tised for the cure of liver eomplamt. Although thev afford temporary relief, they weaken the dico.-tive ORGANS aud compel a continued and increasing ute of the name. Sufferers FR^M drspewia and liver complaint do not need a cathartic L>ut should use cone true medicinal tdnic that will STRENGTHEN Che digestive organs and heal the diwsaned tinsue-S of the atomach, ,WR AND bowels. A preparation of Ye low Hock, Satvaparilla, Iron, C- lerv, Buchu and Calnaya HAN proven very efficacious as a permanent Btrencthener of the digestive organs. These ingredient* all enter into tbecompowtion of Dr. Gnvaott'A Yellow DockXaud Sarsapariila, a ramedv higbtv recommended AS a general health renewer. Aakyotir druggist to get it for you. A Remarkable Cow. A Kentucky cow, raised on the |arm of Erastus Ellsworth, of East Windsor Hill, has a remarkable record. On April ( 16, 1877, she gave birth to twins, one male and one female; and March 16, 1878, she gave birth to triplets, two males and one female, making five calves in eleven months and three d&ys; on July 9, 1879, she gave birth U> twins, both males; on Oct 7, 1880, she gave birth to triplets, two males and one female, making ten calves in three years, five months and twenty-one days. The calves have all been of good size, healthy and handsome, and have all been raised on the farm. MB. CHARLEY B. CHAMBERS, of Xenia, 0.» writes * "I had many ailments. All the organs of my body were in a weakened state-lung*, liver, kidneys, heart, nerves ETC J doetored for this and then for that. I tned failed. Dr, Guyeott B YeStow Dock an PTRIIK. MPED me FROM the ATERT. I am NO*" MOBS and healthy •• wtasa I WAS a NOY. CRVATVR DISFOVERV SINCE 149» For ooogbs, colds, now throat, terooetetiw, bragiiis and consumption in its early stages, nothing emials Dr. Pierce's " Golden" Med cal Discovery. * It Is also a great Wood pnritter and strength restorer or tonic, and for hvtr complaint and costive condition of the bowels it has ao equaL Sold by druggists. has no «qu A wooKo O tear forttx cusate, having preached before his •rkmr for tbe first tune, asked that worthy at the cloee of tbe service which pa--age in his sermon he thought the bast, to wnich tbe vicar made reply: "To 4 *illo«alre 8ext*m. ootUge, M which PresidentQiSlSd died. He is a short, stout gentleman with round, full face, stamped WITH EONL tentment and benevolence. He is worth i several million dollars, and lives in A $70,000 cottage close by. It would not ?EBBY D1TOP ow tint th. Mstry S5?1 <* ». *> totke polpit was very fine; bat ooaunend me the to that from the polpit to the vestry for down­ right heart-relieving effect- WHAT'S SAVED IS GAINED. Workingmen will economize by employing Dr. Heroe s Medicines, His " Pleasant Pnrga- j live Pellets" and "Golden Medical Discovery" cleanse the blood and sy-fero, thus preventing I fevers and other tenons disease !, and coring all scrofulous and other humors. Bold by drug­ gists. A BOSTON lecturer astonished his audienoe by bringing down bis fist on tbo table and shout­ ing, •" Where is the religiosity of the anthropoid qaadramana?" If he thinks we have got» he can search us. We never saw it in the world.-- Peck's Sun. -- ^ 1 YotJ>o. middle-aged or old men, suffering from nervous debility or kindred affections should address, with two stamps for large treatise, WOKLD'S DISFENSABY MEDICAL ASSO' CUTKOI, Buffalo, N. Y. LITTLE Bobbie, who talks slang for the whole family, »aid to his father; •* Tnere artf fixed stars, ain't there, papa?*" To wtiich tun fattier replied; "Yes. ika-Lue^" And then thti young rascal asked: " Are ihey all well nxed, papa?" THE ELIXIR Of ¥0171111 -- ^ HnrM Age Wa« RMMIEITE VEITT fwl viffer* GENEVA, Knot Co., 111., Sept. 90,1881. To the proprietors of Burdock Blood Bitten, Buffalo, N. T. Gentlemen--I purchased a bottle of your Burdock Blood Bitters, and saw a icq lest to be informed of its effects. I therefore give yon a brief history of my ease. I was taken four years since with paralysis, and my case was supposed to be hopeless. 1 employed a physician until I was able to sit np, when I concluded to manage my own case, as I was so far advanced in life it would only be possible to survive a short time, being now a little over 80 years of age. 1 tried many remedies, and, notwlhutand- ing the persevering use of them, I'oundno permanent benefit until I nsed your Burdock Blood Bitters, which I found to suit my case exactly, and I feel rejoiced to have found a medicine of true worth and so full of life-giving principles. Its beneficial effects were manifest from the first, and I now feel almost the vigor of youth again. This is my experience with your .Burdock Blood Bitters, to the merits of which I am very ready to give my testimony. Tours respeotfully, D. EL HOWARD. 8old by an Druggists. " WHAT have yon BEEN doing since I last saw you?" "I've been atteuttiug A course of free lectures." "A COURSE of i ree Icctures?" "YEA, I was married a week after we parted."-- Brook- bm Eagle. A New Principle* The prinoiple upon wt.ich PUTNAM'S PAXHUSS COKN EXTRACTOR actn is entirely now. it does not sink deep into tbe flesh, thereby produo ng soreness, but aots directly upon the external covering of the corn, separates it from the under layer, removes tbe direct pressure from the part, and at once effects a radical cure, without any pain or discomfort. Let those who are MIFF<iing from corns, yet ^OPTICAL of treat­ ment* try it, and by the completeness of tbe cure they will be ready to recommend Put- nam's Painless Corn Extractor to others. "Von you esk by der veek for dose rooms?*' he said to tbe Heabrigbt hotel keeper. " We get tl') a day for oue person and $25 far twot" said the Boniface. tio?" exclaimed tue appli­ cant; " veil I doand diuks tier TTEHTUDE agrees mil my families, und 1 go by der mountains, anyhow." <_ Visible tin prove men I. Mr. Noah Bates, Elmira, N. Y., wllw: "About four years sgo I had an attack of bilious fever, aud never fully recovered. My digestive organs were weakened AWL I would be completely prostrated for days. After using | two bottles of your Burdock Blood Bi tern the improvement \WT* so visible that I was aston­ ished, I can now, though 61 years of age, do a fair and reasonable day's work.*' Prtoe, fL SIMUA simihbus curantnr. Like eons like. Unfortunately this is very frequently tne case. For INSTANCE, two people of dafevent sexes like each other very muon --so much, in fact, that they GET mai ried ; aud then IN A lew months they ate completely cured.--Judy. ** Every Owe W-- Astealslni.1* NEWCASTLE, Ind., May 30, 188L H. H. WABNER A, CO: 8im--About S \esrs •go 1 waa stricken with calculus of the kidneys. The best physicians could do me no good. I used your Safe Kidney and Liver Cure and everv one was astonished at my complete and rapid recovery. THOMAS B. LAIS. JESSE JAMES once thought seriously of going through college, but tne idea of bowling around nigntv, cliHugiug MGNB, disconnecting telegraph wu'es, and groaning luilvoad tracks was HO re­ pugnant that he concluded 10 go West and be­ come a respectable highwayman. Rub It In. Jacob Loeokman, 274 Clinton street Buffalo, N. Y.. says he has been using 'XHOMAB' ECUEC- TBIC OIL for rheumatism. He had such a lame back lhat he could do nothing; but one botlie entirely cured bim. AN English Bishop querulously reunrked to his tervaut that he was dying. " Well, my Lord," said the good fellow, -'you are going to a better place." "Johu," RELIED the prelate, wit h an air ot conv.ciiou, " there's no puce Lkd old England!" File* and Bug*. Flies, roaches, ants, bedbugs, rats, inicc, go­ phers, chipmunks cleared out by " ttough on Bats." 15c. THERE is nothing in this world more ag­ gravating than to lose one sleeve-button. It a mau ooukl lose both it would not be so painful. But it is lotting one that breaks his heart ; tor, if the design be unmatchable. he knows he will never be able to use it unless he lose an arm !-- Puck. MBHSMAK'S PEPTONIZED BEE» FOI»IO. the only preparation of beet containing its entire nulrir fiouc properties. It contains blood-making, loice-generutuig and life sustaiuin^ PROPER­ ty* ; invs-.IATIDC for iudige«t:ou, dyspepsia, nervous prostration, and ail forms of general deuility; also, ia all enfeebled conditions, wnetuer retmM of exhalation, nervoiw prostra­ tion, overwoikor acme disente, particularly if RESULTING troui pulino2»ary complaints. 0<ts- wd'. Hazard & Co., proprietors, New York. sold by " DON'T you think f have s good face for tbe | stage?" aeked a young lady with histrionic as- ' pirations. " I don't know about the stage," : replied her gallant COMPN'OD, " but y< u liave I a Jovelv face for a 'bus! A--Ntie York Contmer- | titil Advertiser. ' THOUSANDS ot infants and children die at ' thi» HFUHON of the >var from Cbolera Infantum I or Bummer COMPRINT. This fearful DISEASE can [be cured by Dr. Winchell'S Teething Syrup, | which never fails to give immediate relief, even I in the most severe caaetf. Sold by all Druggists. TBE most unfortunate of women is the min- iitter's wife. When he reads hw sermons to her after he has just completed writing ttiem, there is no congregation present with new bonnets to draw her attenuou away from his words. ELLEET'S DAYLIGHT LIVEB PILIS are a relia­ ble retuedv for bdiouwnoKB, headache, constipa­ tion and liVer diseases, and are the best pre­ ventive of fevers known. Sold by Druggista. CAJTEM are said to thrive in Arizona, where they must create muoh astonishment on ao- countof bong able to go so long without dnuking. THOUSANDS of ladies cherish grateful remem­ brances of the help derived from the use of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compouud. AN Iowa Judge refused a woman a divorce which she wanted because her husband kissed the pretty servant. He said she ought te be thankful that her hue baud had found a to keep a servant girl. --Philadelphia News. millionaire philanthropist, George W. Childs, publisher of thel Public Ledger. The church is Protest^ •nt Episcopal. It was built by six gen-j tlemen who are prominent among thdi' cottagers at Elberon. They were Cor­ nelius, son of W. H. Vanderbilt, Henry Taylor, John Scott, of New York, Mr! Frnncklyn, Mr. A. J. Drexel and Mr. Ohilds. The church has a regularly j paid sexton who attends to the heavy j work, but Mr. Childs being one of the ' trustees, and knowing all the pew-hold- j ers, exercises his office in seating- the | congregations which gather there from \ June to Octooer to listen to the preach- j ing of the most eminent divines of the \ Protestant Episcopal Church. ! It is related as a good story at the ex- j pense of Mr. Childs that while premd- ! ing seats far the throngs which flock ; there he was greeted by a fussy old lady i with a request for a front eeat. Mr. j Ohilds gracefully led her to a pew; cloee to the chancel rail. Then she j asked: j "Willyon pleaae And me a prayer { >k?" ' j 'he accommodating gentleman found a praver book for her. 'fAnd will you kindly hand me fari?" posite pew. The publisher obligingly brought it to her. "Now, wont yon move that footstool for me T* This waa too much.--Philadelphia Becord. PRESEBVS your hsreeflt by using Unole Barn's Harness Oil, which closes the pores, keep out du«t or dampness, making it soft and pliable. Bold by Harness Makers, y hi pointing to a palm-leaf in an op "GUILTY or not guilty?" asked a Dutch Just- ice of a prisoner. " Net guilty." '• Den what you want here? Go about your busnoaa." THE Howe Scales have all the latest improve­ ments. It :« true economy to buy the best. Borden, Selleck & Co., Agents, Chicago, 111. ARTHUR vetoed the Chinese bill because there had to be somebody to do up Attorney General Brewster's ruffled ehirts. FOB HAliK BT ALL DRtJUttlSTH. C A. REED & SONS' PIANOS. 1 H«W IDWTAM Oatalanw, 1M, MAT (rat. SMSW BRIMI. Agents WANTED FIA «*WR oonatr. MEM T£MP1JC Of MI'SIC, IS* State8L.CHICMO. FRAZER AXLE GREASE. Beat Hi the World. <»et the milte. RW THIS NEW ELASTIC TRUSS -ra •r-& HinMtlftilB ftw Slrtw ̂t, t«p-»h.p», with 8*ltA4jai«tag Ball 5P? ' HOUSES, cattle, sheep and hogs are cured of : a* HCRNU is BND aeeanij ̂ distemper, coughs, ooids, fevers and most other digest** by Uncle Barn's Condition Powder. Sold by Druggists. " A VKRT curious thing has oometopus," •aid the ticket agent when the double-headed Woman went in free. or tiw »allt th* Tax the new brand, Spring Tobaoco. WBXH Bismarck heard that Jumbo waa to emigrate to America, he exclaimed: Brute ?" bin it i. «r «'"»•*»t. "Hit • r*!icalcmn> 1» durnbl* tagehc*p. Kent t,. Circatua. ***• Egfllestoa Tins® Co., Chicaao,.n* MAKE HENS An Kn«ii»h Vsterlnaiy Suiggun and ChanM, worn' toaratlac .to thta country, S*JI» TU«t moat of tb»Hoo» and CatUa Pnwdm aokl her* an wonolea* tn*b. B» . M)i that 8h*rtd»c'a Condition Bwdwi uadadaleh i put* and immense j vahwbla. Kotnnw on earth win going ! jnoka hriw laj 1 k«Sh«itd B^O«nditfa»>fto«du». DM* •fit tn i teaapoonfol to one p ntof food. Solrl PTwrwbanwar • aeat by mail for 8 totter stamps. 1.8. JOHNSON iOO, ~ ur. MA. _ L"!' MM*., formorlf Banjo*. FH V'M Knapp's Ext o! Boots For Making Root Making Root Beer. | A dalldonn ramm«r drink. Drantaa, Root-BMf Js Maker* and Funtiloa will find this Extract the beS ant ' ebaap*-t in tba mnrket. Pat in boH ee at S&c, 99c, I1JM, aSJt', and hn!f »nd frail eanaat $4 und t8,e-i«h, wnlcS ... M»k« *wnwN9tl»»|y lo» at, #!» ana 8 0«.iIs.<m !>•«&*# CO., Agenta, 'Cbicae*. AGENTS! •--• -- --- f - j -• • THIRTY-THREE TEARS AXOVO AGENTS! A'GENTit OUR WILD Fitters It Is the eoncarrent teatlmony of the pabUe and the Medical pmtewion that Hoetettar's Stomach Bitten is a medicine which achieves results speedily felt, thoqpagh atui benign. Beside rectifying 1 ver disorders, it invig.. erates the feeble, oonquers kidney and bladder COBS. plaints, and hastens the convalescence of those reeoveg* tog from en eebling diseases. Moreover, it i£ tbf grain! Specific for fever and affne. W For sate br all Droggisls a JEW F.I.EKS HELL "Pike's Paak Mineral Clocks* CARD.--A hnndaome apt nt I'ARIW ^Vf ollecton, 8c stamp. A. E. Baboock. Rochester. N.Y* TOUtB MEN •at,Ion, addrasa VA If yon want to learn Telacraphf in a »"• few months, and be cert-tin of a sit. VALENTINE BHOS„ JanestlUe. Wis. ENGINES. NKW AND SKCONDH AND. Adiireo IKU.V Wui(K», Titnaville, Pa. i?SsMAPLEW00Di Youn«r Ladies* INSTITUTK. UdtieMtMusa $225 THRESHERS- & MONTH AGENTS WANTED-90 beat •elliiiK articles In the worldI simple./Ws. Adaiess TITTY JUI'onsoa, ~ n* SUI U M I. Ilkus- _ 'iratedprloelitt fcMu THBAULTMAN* TAYLOR CO.. Mmtsa«l6.a rare A6ENTS WANTED FOR THE HIST0RY«p EWORLD Bmbtmeing (ill and tiuiidiiNp auooantouf efe.j ,i*> tfcm of ancient and modern km**, and inalad torjr of tbe rise and tsU «f tbe Greek Kmptrsa, the middle ana, tbe ei tsra, tbe reformation, the disao the New World, etc., ate. it son tains BTX fine hhtniral awiadML and b tie- most aoaipto* Histoty of tbe WORID «vsr pSSllihsi Ssad for apaeUMo pa«*e and aatn tens*'** lawi'i - Xiniau IhntxjMRM Oo. OkW, IS, ran and INCREASE YOUR CAPITAL. •w; , JL tablisbed plan. TIT 1 WHEAT sent weekly, dividends pddaaMtlt*; ly. > and at once for explanatory #, OiF'CTtlflJTA &lld pMt ttis on this fa N,KMMMAPS at t& MFKRIAM, 141 4k 1«S ; STOCKS ^ -- everv town, fixcelleut i*du PMMI merits. Good pay to & respoL_ J BUI B b!<». euterprisiug man. Writ* tear • •wW terms. T 1-. AND NOT v.Tcn l_J WEAR.OIT. n\ THAT WILLttMP SO/ ' kbv Watchmakers.Bymall,25<sts. CircuUrtl ' FKEE. J. 8. BUiCii & CO.. 38 Dey St.. h.l> j WfASTF.K-A well-qnalfied A cent. Isrtjr orient'®- jll mnn, to »epres«nt cur Company in this t. wn Hne gni'ioundinc country. Bunne s permiment and cxtr or- din-iv ci mp^neati^in insuied. Inclose Ft mp for terms. MAGNETOS AFTLXABCE CO, 818 State St, Chicago, QL Employment for Ladles. The <Jnc«.n City Suspender Comiv.'iy cf Cin­ cinnati arc now manufacturing a:ul lutrwlucing their new SUFTIUK SuptMirlrr» for anu CfelMrm, anil ti Ajir unc>|ualnl t>k!rt S«>iwm!fP» for tartieo, and want rcltai'le lady apt rvis to «I1 them in every V.i.iiscliolii. Our apents every- rwhere meet«ith ready success and make hand- some salaries. Write at on. e for terms and se­ cure exclusive territory. Address , Queen City SW»pender Co., t'lnrlnnBll, Okie. fcT* Leading Physicians rccoroiucr.il ;hej»c Supporter*. ^ S25 Every Day Clan be easily made with our Well Augers & Drills Oce mar. and one horse roqtn're^Wo t>rr the orl;r makers nt the BoriTt ̂aricS Rouk-Dnilinar Machir.a. \VHrnuitv<I tilt* Uv»»t on Furth i Jdany ofonr oustoraere TTJake from •SO to #40 a 4ajr. IJcok aa^i Circulars FREIi. Artdrcsa, ICCRIS & T:rn.n. CHW. USf NONE PUT TM' r- t . . T N E G R E A T F A M K v . '.in# :ltr 1' • * -v * - ' •• SALT :: » '4: tn abnndance.--85 Mmtoo ponncto Imported last year.-Prlces lower than ever.--Agents wanted.-Doal waste time.--Send for circular. 10 L>s. Gsod Black or IWIxed, for 81. lO U>». Fine Black oPMIxed, for 11. lO n>s. Clsoiee Black or Mixed, for $3. i cml for pound .Rmple, 17 ctt-«tra for her. gut up a club. Cholces^w in Uie worw. krgest variety.--Pleases loune In Aiueriea.->o chromo.~No HumW*.- .traipht baslneep.--Value for money. «•»» KOB'T WELLS,Ves» jrSU»N.*»»l .O.BoxlSSfe M M BID! .'Soli PuriJm? Wia snake" %ich Bk«S. and wiB completely change She biond in the enti -- Donths Any person who * ... "each night frwm 1 to ISwoeks m-iy be re^torvd at'uod i In three mont! health,it «uch a thing be possible, ecnt by mail fi>r 8 latter rt4mpa I. 8. JOHSNO* * WK. fsrsserly Jtasfor, Me. ill t/\ke pill tofvU soued Sold everywhere, ov GOOD NEWS -- TO -- Get up Clubs BRATK0 Ti 1THE OWLY MEDlClWEj M srrnKc I.IQI :D OU DBT FOKX That Acta at the name tin* «a | TBS LI7SB, TBM 3QWMU,\ ASH TBxnwm. I WHY ARE WE SICK?! J3*ca*se tee allow Ouk grrtat organs J iectwis clogged or torpid^ and poisone IhwnortGT* thtrefort forttd iut* th$ bleed | I that i'wild fx expelled naturally. KIDNEY-WORT WILL SURELY CURE | KIDNEY DISEASES, LIVER COMPLAINTS,] IPIICI, eossTirmvK, DURABT| DliUSER, FRVilJt VKAKKEMl*. AJil> NCUVVl'S action qf ttw erg><tM arf| j rtjUtrutff their power i&thffHffQf diwaifc %hf soffer Bilieu*pain* and ackaet I tTlij tormented with Pllaa, Const!patloal | (IThf frigrlitaaed over 4iserder«4 KiJaejral j Vb; isdir* nervosa er aiek hcadachaal [ Vte K10NE¥-W©BTaa«lrook» j Itts patella Brjr TsgstsMe W»rm» tnttal [ caiiscoe package of «hlct> makes ai3. quarts oC| I nirtli -lne. Atoo in U««M Fer*. Tei'S €« 11s ated, for those that cannot readily pntantt,! Orlt acts with aqaal adcienc) is eltbartans.1 | GET IX or VOVK DROGGIST PRICK, ttM| WELLS, UCIUBKOS & Co., frop'a. I (WUl send tbe dry post-paid.) muiagitfl| wnr VSSTI MOSKT! Tmmttmm I' 7M n»l i Luwal SMMKIM, Iniu «hiikM or » Ua»v fMtt *f hMM MU «r to TiiU'KBN. »T«lft>UTta£X II C£La- •&,&$> and #e<eur® & bcauUfvl | ̂ xtuf "Hoe B«f « 6«li Ba&i Tn Sit/* I t sue c«x-n> •» vt. (M t»ur r. iDi|«>r«tttH>a. Oo* Of beautiful tea scivva ®w*y [a _C)yk tor Beware th« ** CHFIP TEAS " ar« &dverliiK;d---tii«y 4*nf«rvua ant! detrimental to healtfc-HUoW |x>i«oc. Dtaloujv ^ithrcltabia ith firs5; handiilf le.. ' " Uen WIUTINU TB^TJIKTIlMUM. + *