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,VI * one way* oorrWb p*oe rain. OMtvton*a btaudtnem clatea ItaiMd i better n»m«. And wall my own may P«< , As from the strand or trlaM. - * W»«h on, O waves of tlnMl & - Molt noons the frosty rirool W-'loome the shadowyast, • i, F $3ti6 HileQoe tiurt BOJMI When I and all who Knc# Z~"*- And love mc vanish so, - •••>', $>• »•.. , What h*rm to them or mf - Will the loct memory bet Q. Whit tier. Bft ; WHAT BECAME OF HER. There was a great commotion in Fox­ ville when old Parson Fox died. It was not only because he was "the pioneer of the place, having come there when the woods w'ere one primeval mass of green, and himself having erected . the old stone parsonage around which the thriving village had grown up with almost incredible rapidity. It wa* not that he had preached the gospel to them for four-and-fbrty years; it was not that his footsteps had been instant on every threshold where sick­ ness came or sorrow brooded. All this had been received as a mat­ ter of course, and forgotten as tbon as the necessities were past. But it was because Foxville eiiriositv was on the qui vive about Joanna, his grandchild, the sole remaining blossom on the gnarled old family tree, who was left quite unprovided for. "I declare to goodness," said Mrs. Emmons, "I don't-know what is, to be­ come of that girl!" _ V "She hain't no faculty," said Sabina Sexton, the village dressmaker; "and - never had." "Books possessed no charm to her!" sighed Miss Dodge, who taught the Foxville district school. "She always cried over her parsing rhetoric, and I never could make her understand cul>e root!" "There's no deny in' that the old min­ ister was as near a saint as we often see in this world," said Mrs. Luke Lock- edge, piously. **But he hadn't ought to let Joanna run loose in the woods and fields the way he did. Why, I don't s'pose she ever made a shirt or fried a batch o' fritters in her life!" "Is it true," said Miss Dod^e, peer­ ing inquisitively up under her spectacle glasses, "that she is engaged to your Simon, Mrs. Lockedge?" Mrs.Lockedge closed hermouth.shook her head and knitted away until her needles shone like forked lightning. "Simon's like all other young men, Miss Dodge," said she -- "took by a pretty faoe and a pair o' bright eves. And they set on the same bench at • school. And as long as we s'posed Par- JOB Fox had left property, why there wasn't no objection. But there wasn't nothing--not even a life insurance. So I've talked to Simon and made him hear reason. There can't nobody live on . • air?" "But that's rather hard on Joanna, ain't it?" said Mrs. Emmons, with a little sympathetic wheeze. "Reason is reason!" Mrs. Loekedge answered. "My Simon will have prop­ erty. and the girl he marries must have suthin' to match it." jsio that Joanna Fox, sitting listlessly in her black dress, by the window, where the scent of Juae honevsuckles floated ~""mwrotiT»S, BUU trying rcohsc she was alone in the world, had divers and sundry visitors that day. , . The first was Simon Lockedge, look­ ing as if his errand were somehow con­ nected with grand larceny. Joanna started up, her wan faoe brightening. She was only sixteen?--a brOwn-haired, brown-eyed girl with a solemn, red mouth and a round, white throat, banded with black velvet. fcOh, Simon," she cried. "I know you #.>j|jiuld 001116 "when you heard " > Bimon Lockedge wriggled uneasily into a seat, instead of advancing to clasp Iter outstretched hand. But Squire Barton looked harder than any flint when the orphan came to VP ' i . - "Something to do. Miss Pox?" said he. "Well, that's the very problemof the age--woman's work, you know; and I ain't smart enough to solva it. Copy­ ing ? No, our firm don't need that sort of work. Do I know Of any one that does ? N-no, I can't .*av I do; but if I should hear of an opening, 1711 be sure to let yon know. Ahem!--Fm a little busy this morning, Miss Fox; sorry I ' can't devote more time to you. John, the door. Good morning, mv dear Miss Fox! I assure you, you have , inine and Mrs. Barton's prayers in this sad visitation of an inscrutable Provi­ dence." Old Miss Gringo, who hac^ $50,000 atf interest, and who had always declared that she loved dear Joanna Fox like a daughter, sent down word -that she wasn't very well and couldn't see com­ pany. Dr, Wentworthj in visiting whose in­ valid daughter poor old Parson Fox had contracted the illness which car­ ried him to his grave, was sorry fm* Miss Joanna, of coijr.se, but he didn't know of any way in which he could be useful. HV understood there was to be a kid glove factory opened on "Walling river soon. y. "No doubt Miss Fox conldf get a place there; or there could be no objection to her going out to domestic service. There was a great deal of false senti­ ment on this subject, and he thought ButJoanna, without waiting for the result of his cogitations, excused her­ self. She would detain him no longer, she said, and then she went'away with flam­ ing cheeks and resolutely repressed tears. When she returned home she found one of the trustees of the church await­ ing her. He didn't wish to hurry her, but the new clergyman didn't want to live in such a ruinous old place; and it was their calculation, as the parsonage was mortgaged much beyond its real value, to sell it out and buy a new frame house near the depot, with all the modern conveniences, for the use of the Bey. Silas Speakwell. 'Am I to be turned out of my home?" said Joanna indignantly. Deacon Blvdenburg hemmed and hawed. He didn't want to hurt no one's feelings; but, as to her home, it was well known that to all intents and purposes the old place had long ago parsed out of Parson Fox's ownership; and they were willing to accord her any reasonable* length of time to pack up and take leave of her friends--say a •week. So Joanna, who could think of no remaining friend but her old gover­ ness, who had long ago gone to New York to light the great world for her­ self, went down to the city and ap­ pealed to Miss Woodin in her extremity; and Miss Woodin cried over her and kissed her and caressed her, like an old maiden aunt. "What am I to do?" said poor, pale Joanna. "I can't starve!" "There's no necessity for any one starving in this great, busy world," said Miss Woodin, cheerfully. "All one wants is--faculty." Joanna shrank a little from, the hard, stereotyped word which she had so often heard from The lips oi Ms. Ein- mon's, Miss Sabina Sexton, and that sisterhood. "But how do you live?" said «lie. . "Do you see that thing there in the corner?" said Miss Woodin. "Yes," answered Joanna. ~*Is it a sewing-machine?" "It's a type-writer," announced Miss Woodin, "ahd I earn my living on it." " But what do you write ?" said J oanna. "Anything I can get," said Miss Woodin. And thus, in the heart of the great wilderness of New York, Joanna Fox the bidding began at $600. and "hung fire" for some time. ",Six f * said cautious Simon Lockedge, at last. "Seven!" piped Miss Dodge, faintly. "Eight!" said Simon, resolutely. "A thousand!" uttered the voice of a quiet, veiled lady in the corner. Every One stared in that direction. " Tain't worth that," said the Squire, sotto vo<v; "all run down--fences gone to nothing." , : But Simon Lockedge wanted it vary much. . "E--le--ven hundred!" said hp, slow­ ly and unwillingly. K "Fifteen hundred!" spoke the soft voice, decidedly. "Fifteen hundred!" bawled the auc­ tioneer. "I'm offered fifteen hundred dollars for this very desirable property. Fifteeu hundred--fifteen--teen--teen-- teen. Fifteen hundred, once--fifteen hundred, twice--fifteen hundred, three times, and gone! What name, ma'am, if you please?" And the lady, throwing aside her veil, answered calmly: "Joanna Fox." The old parsonage was rebuilt, and studded with little bay windows and medieval porches. Laurels and rhododendrons were set out in the grounds, the little brook was bridged over with rustic cedar-wood, and Joanna Fox and Miss Woodin came there to live in modest comfort. But Mrs. Lockedg£> and her eon Simon moved out of Foxville when the mort­ gage on their old place was foreclosed, and the places that had known them once knew them no more. And Mrs. Emmons said: "She's done real well, Joanna has. I always knew there was something in her." And Mrs. Wentworth and the Hisses Barton tried desperately to become in­ timate with the young authoress, baft wfthout avaril. For there is nothing in all the wide world so successful as success, and it is a fetish which has many worshipers. The Popularity of Kissing1. In former years the practice of salut­ ing ladies with a kiss seems to have been very general, and many amusing anecdotes of this social custom are on record. It was, however, severely com­ mented on as open to abuse. Thus, for instance, John Bunyan, in his "Grace Abounding," speaking of it, strongly condemns it. "The common salutation of women," he aavs, "I abhor; it is odi­ ous to me in whomsoever I see it. When I have seen good men salute those women that they have visited, 6r that have visited them, I have made iuy objections against it; and when they have answered that it was but a piece of civility, I have made my ob­ jections against it; I have told them that it was not a comely sight. Some, indeed,have urged the holy kiss; but then I have asked them why they made balks? why they did salute the most handsome and let the ill-favored go?" Iu spite, however, of the censure poured on this old fashion by even con­ scientious moralists of the time, there can be no doubt that it found favor in the eyes of the ladies of our own and other countries. It has been often re­ marked, with more or less truth, that there are few of the fair sex who are, in their inmost heart,, indifferent to the admiration paid to them in daily life, and who would regard with disfavor a kiss politely offered to them by some gallant swain whom, it may be, they have captivitated by their countless charms. History, we know, is daily re­ sits at Ike eettlerpf one side of the long t*We,JWk wiffstflie be married, directly 2>ppaf$S Kim. It sottetimes happens at the Secretary of State will be seated in the chair usually assigned to the President's wife. After' the Presi­ dent has been served, White House eti­ quette requires that the lady sitting next to the President on his right, and then the lady on his left, be served be­ fore any others. Then the President's wife is waited upon, and afterward the gentlemen immediately on her right and left in the order named. Then the other gu*st%follow. European Hotels--The Outstretched Palm. One would think, from the exact way the dinners are gotten up and served on the continent of Europe, that this meal had been prescribed by a congress of nations and could not be violated in the least particular. During my time on the continent my dinners were all exactly alike, to the minutest particu­ lar. 1 did not see during all this time any bread but sea biscuit; not a baked or boiled potato; not a cake or fruit pie of any description; not any cooked fruit; not any baked meat, except veal; not a cooked egg, except boiled; not any puddings,1 butter, piokles, cheese, tea or coffee. You will ask, what did I have ? Dinner was always as follows: First, sea biscuit; second, soup; third, fish; fourth, baked veal cut in slices'; fifth, peas or string beans; sixth, boiled chicken sliced up cold; seventh, lettuce, eighth, strawberries. No two of the above dishes were on the table at the same time. You are required to be just so long and no longer in eating each dish. At the ringing of a little bell the table is cleared and the next plate is served, and so on till the end is reached. If one does not take the dish as passed he has to wait until the next comes along. 0- The hotel charges are make up as follows: So much for the use of the room, so much for chamber attendance, so much for soap, so much for candles (no gas is burned in the sleeping rooms), so much for towels, etc., etc., each be­ ing a separate charge. Thtf meals are upon the European plan. Most always my bill was "stuffed." I speak truthfully, I think, in saying that every waiter, clerk and officer has his hand stretched out for a gratuity from every one he comes in contact with. When I left America I resolved I would not submit to the demoralizing {iractice, but, when I found I was neg-ected on every hand on account of not conforming to this custom, and I found the small amount it required, I tumbled from my lofty position, and became an expert, so the travelers say, in this dis­ graceful business. ( It has become such a custom that no * traveler will receive any favors if he dees not drop pennies into these outstretched hands. It is a contemptible practice but "they all do it."--Judge Chatterton, in the Lansing Republican. * Behavior In Chnrctu In New England's early diays it was customary for every church to have a "tithing-man," whose duty it was to see that the younger portion of the congre­ gation behaved properly. HeSsarried a long rod. If a head was seen to nod, crack! would fall the rod upon it. If two noses drew close together to impart some secret, tap! tap! the rod would beat on those confidential noses. Nowadays there are no tithing-men, for the need id them is no longer felt. Services are shorter: the preacher sel- BtfftBKIC. dom announces his "forty-ninthly," r as was the custom once? and little mortals peating itself, and it is difficult to be- j do not get so weary as to require the lieve that hnman nature is different! stinging rap of a rod to secure their at- nowadavs from what it was in years j tention. . Yes," said he. "Of course it is very j commenced her pilgrimage of toil. sad, Joanna, and I'm awfully sorry for you. But " Joanna stood still, her face hardening into a cold, white mask, her hands fall­ ing to her side. "Yes," said She. "You were saying "It's mother!" guiltily confessed Si­ mon. "A fellow can't go against fiis own mother, you know. She says it's nonsense our engagement, and we shouldn't have anything to live on! And so," w th a final twist, " we'd better consider it all over. That's the sense .of the matter--now ain't it, Joanna?" „ She did not answer. "I'm awfully sorry," stuttered Simon. "I always set a deal of store by you, Joanna." "Did you?" she said, bitterly. "One Would scarcely have thought it." "And you know, Joanna," he added, awkwardly, mindful of his mother's drill, "when poverty comes in at tfre door, love flies out at the window!" Joanna smiled scornfully. - "It seems," said she, "that love does ^JBot always wait for that." • * And she turned and walked like a young Queen into the adjoining apart­ ment ; while Simon, slinking out of the door like a detected burglar, muttered to himself: "It's the hardest job o' work that ' ever I did in my life. Splitting stumps Ji nothing to it. But mother says it must be done--and mother rules the | ttiost imour house!" Next came Mrs. Emmons. -- "Joanna," said .she, "I'm deeply grieved at this 'ere affliction that's befell you!" . • ' • "Thank you, Mrs. Emmons!" said ••vfjbe girl, mechanically, "I've come to ask you about your plana," added the plump widow! "Be­ cause if you have no other intentions, IU be glad to have you help me with i the housework. I'm goin' to have a j house full o' summer boarders, and! 'there'll be a deal more work than me end Elviry can manage. Of course you won't expect no pay, but a good home is ! W what you need most, and " ] "Stop a minute!" said Joanna. "Am $. " i* 1 to understand that you expect me to | ' a88Ume the duties and position of a | :r*frvant, without a servant's wages?" •' I Vi1 ?Yo«'ll be a member of the family," f-1' «»id Mrs. Emmons; "and vou'll set at H *4 EM*, % - '•'/ "I am much obliged to you;" said Joa.ii.a, "but I must decline vour kind offer." J/1 v » And Mrs. Emmons departed in f "righteous wrath, audibly declaring ' ker conviction that pride was certain ^sooner or later to have a fall. ' »Jku bave p'enty of friends," s\id ,i Xf4 • ,Joftn?a' °ourageo'iwly,' "or rather de&r First on the type-writer, then pro­ moted to a compiler's desk in the " Fash­ ion Department" of a prominent weekly journal; then by means of a striking original sketch, slipped into the letter­ box of the La<1'w* Weekly with fear and trembling, to a place on the contribut­ or's list; then gradually rising to the rank of a spirited young novelist, until eur village damsel had her pretty "fiat" furnished like a miniature palace, with Miss Woodin and her type-writer snug­ ly installed in one corner. "Because I owe everything to her," said the young authoress, gratefully. And one day, glancing over the ex­ changes in the sanctum of the Ladle# Weekly, to whose columns she still con­ tributed, she came across,a copy of the Foiville Gazette. "Hester," she said, hurrving home to M 'ss Woodin, "the parsonage is to be sold at motion to morrow, and I mean to j go up and buy it ; for I am sure--quite sui e that I could write better there than anywhere else in the world." Miss Woodin agreed with Joanna. Miss Woodin believed' most firmly in* whatever Joanna l>elieved. In her lov­ ing eves the successful young writer was always right. So Joanna Fox and Miss Woodin, dressed in black and closelv veiled, went up to Foxville to attend the auc­ tion sale. ' Everybody was there. They didn't have an auction sale at Foxville every day in the week. Squire Barton was there, with a •ague idea of purchasing the old place for a public garden. "It would be attractive," said the Squire. "These open air concerts are making no end of money in the cities. I don't see why the Germans need pock- , et all the money that there is going." i Mrs. Emmons came ljecaxxsje everv- body else did. Miss Dodge, who had saved a little money, thought if the place went cheap she would pay down a part and give a mortgage for the re­ mainder. "And my sister could keep boarders," she considered, "and I could alwavs have a home there." But Simon Lockedge was most deter­ mined of all to hare the old parsonage for his own. gone by, although the manners of soci­ ety may have undergone certain changes. It is easy to criticise in un­ measured terms the social usages of our predecessors, but, after all, it must not be forgotten that in the present age the same customs are as popular as ever, the only difference being that, in­ stead of having public recognition, they find a tacit acceptance. It may be re­ membered how Cavendish, in his "Bi­ ography of Cardinal Wolsey," dwells on this custom, when describing his Bad liehavior in church, at the pres­ ent time, comes not so much from the little ones as from "children of larger growth." Especially is this true among the new population of our western states, where the stern ideas of the Puritans have not left their impress on the customs of 4he people. Many attend no church at all. Those who do not unfrequently behave un­ seemly ; and it is found necessary to post up notices at the church request­ ing proper conduct. Some of these no- visit at Mons, Crequi's castle: "I being tices are expressed in imperative terms, in a fair great dining-chamber," he tells "" " * A us, "where the table was covered for dinner, and there I attended my lady's coming: and after she came thither out of her own chamber, she received me most gently, like one of noble es­ tate, having a train of gentlewomen. And when she wdth-hgr train came all out, she said Ao me, 'For as much,' quoth she, ^4 ye be an Englishman whose custom it is in your country te kiss all ladies and gentlewomen with­ out offense, and although it be not so in this realm (prance),'yet will I be so bold to kiss yon, and so shall all my maidens.' By means whereof I kissed my lady and all her maidens." Chaucer frequently alludes to this old custom, and our readers may recollect how, in the " Sompnour's Tale," he notices the zeal with which the holy father per- : forms this act of gallantry. When the mistress of the house enters the room, j where he- is busily engaged in "groping | tenderly" her husband's con science, VIA \ are told how-- { He rlseth up full curtlshly And Iter emhr&ceth In his arms narrow*' And ki*H<>th her aweetb, and chirketb M a spar- | row | With bin lippen. Shakesjieare again introduces it, as in the "Merry Wives of Windsor, where to kiss the hostess is indirectly spoken of as a common courtesy of the day. In Lnpton's "London," too (1(532), an established attraction of a country inn, we are told, was a pretty hostess or her daughter to salute the guests, with­ out which, it would appear, there was small chance of its becoming a popular resort for the customers of that period. --Belgravui. Thus the tithing-man is put in print. In San Gabriel, California, is a church 'which beside its door has nailed, in large letters, "Take off your hats" and "Behave yourselves." Another Californian churclf--the one at Monterey--lias posted conspicuously, - , , „ _ , , "Gentlemen, hats off!" and "Visitors j ** avoided because they afford only *T HeaMUXIu* Itare Wltiutood the TtoMofTtme. The following rtU^s were originally in Lat n and published, in Europe iu 1648. It is somewhat remarkable, per­ haps, that in all ages, beginning as early as Democritus, and extending down to the present hour, all thoughtful physicians and other acute observers have enunciated these same laws of health. One thinks in reading the writing of Hypoerates, written more than 2,000 fears ago, that he is reading the exhortations of one of the modern troublesome health reformers. 1. The stomach ought never to be overloaded with food, otherwise the body will be rendered unfit for exertion.. 2. Moderation in exercise, food, drink, sleep and venery. 3. No fresh food should be taken, unless the preceding meal has been properly digested. 4. The meals should not be uniform; but supper always lighter than dinner. 5. Excess in former meals must be corrected by a subsequent abstinence. 6. All food should be duly masticated before it tie swallowed. 7. The quantity of drinks should al­ ways be proportionated to that of solid food. 8. No drink should be taken until a due proportion of solid food has been swallowed! • 9. A variety of dishes ought not to be eaten at the same time. 10. It will be advisable to refrain from a meal (dinner) once a week, par­ ticularly when the body appears to re­ quire less food. ,11. Bodily exercise should be so. man­ aged once a day as to excite the natural heat (glow), and before a meal. The advantages resulting from such prac­ tice are thus described by Fulgentius: "Exercise," says he, "contributes to the preservation of human life. It dissi­ pates all superfluous humors of a ple­ thoric habit; it invigorates our faculties; it is a gain of time; the enemy of idle­ ness ; the duty of the young, and the de- ' light of the aged. For exercise disen­ gages and expels through the pores all superfluous humors; whilst the greatest injuries result from a contrary conduct. For indolence is generally attended with dissolution." 12. In taking food, liquids and soft substances ought to precede those of a dry and solid nature. 13. Between meals, both solid and liquid food should be avoided. 14. The bowels should be regular every day, either by nature or by arti­ ficial means. 15. Extremes of heat and cold, with respect to food, drink and air, are equal­ ly to be guarded against. 16. Sleep ought not to continue less than six hours, nor exceed eight. 17. Immediately after a meal, and with a full stomach, it is hurtful to engage in reading, writing or deep re­ flections. 18. Violent exercise, shortly after ft meal, ought always to be avoided. 19. When the body is in a languid state, all the limbs should be vigorously stretched. x 20. Drink should 'never be taken on an empty stomach*; as, in that case, it cannot fail to prove exceedingly hurt­ ful, by agitating the nerves. Galen says, in the second aphorism, 21, if a hungry person drink wine before lie eat, he will speedily be attacked by spasms and delirious symptoms. Nor nhould wine be taken (habitually) after meals, because it unnaturally accelerates the digestion, propels the food before it iar properly digested, aiid lays the founda­ tion of obstructions and putridity. 21. Wine should never be taken im­ moderately ; and it would be advisable, as much as possible, to abstain from its use, because it affects the brain; hence, no person of a weak organization should venture to drink it, unless in small quantities or diluted. Serspian remarks, "Wine fills the head with many vapors." 22. The bread should be of the best quality, soft (not too stale), and mixed with a small portion of salt. 23. Cheese, and all the artificial prep­ arations of milk ought to be avoided; though pure milk, when mixed-with sugar, may not be deemed unwholesome during the summer. Milk and water, or whey, is a salutary beverage at all seasons. 24. Fresh fish should be seldom eaten, and then they ought to be tender and well-dressed, with the addition of vine­ gar, spices and other sauces. 25. Ovsters and all shell fish should are requested to keep silence in the church." But western churches are not the only ones where big boys and girls are guilty of misdemeanors during service- time. It is necessary in some places-- east as well as west --to have attached to the Avails of the house of God a no­ tice, "Please do not spit on the carpet," In a great many churches there should be a sign printed, in very large letters, "Do riot whisper. It disturbs your neighbors.Youth's Companion. True Friendship Only In a True Heart, j cold, slow and viscous nourishment. Two Sweet Girls. Two girl-friends sat together on the sofa with their arms around each other's waists. The head of one reposed Upon the shoulder of the other. "You tell me my faults and I will tell you yours," said Mabel, slipping a eara- mel into her rosy mouth. "You haven't a fault in the world,** said Katie, chewing on a marsh-mallow. "That's too sweet," murmured Mal>el, referring to her friend and not to the candy. "I know I'm just full of faults, There is, indeed, a great deal of in- | and I want you to tell me so I can cor- gratitude and a great deal of injustice in j rect them. Now what do you think is the world, and yet love is a thing so dis- j my worst one?" American war of 1775. This crusade against the liberties of mankind lasted eight years' and cost £186,000,000. Then the French revolutionary war in 1793 lasted nine years and cost £464,000,000. The war against Bonaparte began in 1803, lasted twelve years, and cost £1,- 159,000,000. During sixty-three years Of wars the people had to pay £2,833,- 000,000 for the fun Of fighting. The Xalarfeng iforttea. Our esteemed Mojnion contemporary soy® * *It is often charged that the * Mor­ mons ' are under bondage to their ec­ clesiastical leaders. The truth is that there is, if anything, too much laxitv of discipline among us. The lines are verv loose." 'fhis is true. We have heard little remarks going around through pgr best circles to the effect that in the SRirmon church there was too much laxity fcnd that the lines were loose. This is\i state of affairs that is bound to exist in a society where a man has a different sized corset hanging on each of his bed­ posts and a new style in each chair in his boudoir; and is proud of it. We hope we may be pardoned for speaking with some degree of freedom of the condition of affairs in Zion, because our mission on earth is to make men better. That is why we burn the midnight ci­ gar and aim our wormwood-soaked pen at sin wherever it shows its unblushing face. And we are not making a rule which we are not willing to abidg by. We have worried along now for several years with only one wife, and although we have added many household at­ tractions to our palatial home we have never sighed for variegated collections of home ties. We never-pined to make the marriage record of our family Bible look like a hotel register. One country, one flag and one *ife, is the platform we stand on and it would be a pretty good motto for other people who are not in the cannibal business to adopt. Uncivilized nations, of course, are sup­ posed to be more reckless and a little more extemporaneous and off­ hand in their marital relations, 'but here in the home of enlightenment, with the statutes in such case made and pro­ vided, we want to see the lines drawn somewhere.' It has been urged that the Mormons took the desert and mode it blossom as the rose, and therefore they ought to get a corner on the home-tie business; but we disagree with this statement. The Mormons took the most fertile valley in the universe and after a good many years got the water­ melon, the grape, the mulbery and the camelhair kid to grow luxuriantly in the valley of the Jordan; but they have planted in that delightful vale, a large and rigorous smell which it will take $75,000,000 worth of legislation and perhaps hogsheads of choice gore to disinfect. There are thousands of stirring, active, intelligent American ° citizens of Yankee descent who are waiting till their families will have a home in Utah protected by the local laws and Caucas­ ian social customs, and then they will make the modern Zion get up and hump itself with teeming industries that will make Utah think she has been slumber­ ing for twenty years. • In the language of that illustrious bard whose name lias at this moment escaped our memory, we don't believe a polygamous community ought to sass the government with so much impuni- tv.--Boomerang. Anecdote ef a Great .Naturalist. "I could fix it up," he said to himself, "and live there real comfortable. It's1 a dreadful pretty location, and I'm bound "to have it--especially since mother's in­ vestments have turned out bad we've got to sell the old farm. Nothing hasn't | gone right with us since I broke off with I the old parson's granddaughter. It J wasn't quite the square thing to do, lmt | there seemed no other way. But, let j mother say what she .will, it brought j bad luck to us." f And the ru di^ crowd surged in and . The Weod Floors of Rnnsla. The finest floors are said to be seen ih Russia. For those of the highest grade j tropical woods are exclusively employed. Fir and pine are never used, as in con­ sequence of their sticky character they attract and retain dust and dirt, and therefore soon t>ecom6 blackened. Pitch Eine, too, is liable to shrink, even after eing well seasoned. The mosaic wood floors in Russia are often of extraordinary beauty. One in the Summer Palace is of small squares of elxjny inlaid with mother-of-pearl. A considerable trade is done in Dantzic and Riga by exporting small blocks of oak for parquette floors. There is an active demand for these in France Imd Ger­ many, but none in England. • State Dinners. democra' ic age few people are aware of the grandeur to be seen in the house of the chief ruler of the nation. The state dining-room is the room in which the President entertains at table criminating, so free in its choice, so in­ capable of purchase, or bribe, or bon­ dage, that I believe it is very rarely, if ever, permanently misplaced, or finally withheld where it is really merited. True affection as naturally flews toward the excellent and amiable, and as nat­ urally avoids the mean, the selfish, the illnatured, as water escaping from the harsh and rugged rock rests not till it reposes in the flowery bosom of the val­ ley. We do, indeed, sometimes see ill- judging people lavishing their admira­ tion on persons of superficial virtues and great professions; but in the sequel even those will be compelled to own their mistake, and acknowledge the superior worth of the modest, unpre­ tending, consistent, l>enevolent char­ acter. If I were about to make ohoice of a particular friend among a numlier of ]>ersons, I should not be guided by their conduct and professions to me, but by their behavior in their own families and among theif old friends. A person who sustains one relation well, will not fail in another. I should lie quite sure that a dutiful, attentive daughter, a kind, disinterested, and self-denying sister would make a good friend; on the contrary, no attentions or professions to myself could induce me to believe that an individual who failed in these relations was capable of disin­ terested and faithful friendship. I "Well, dear, since you ask me--now mind you are to tell me all of mine, too --I think you are--you are sure yotT won't be vexed at it?--just a little proud!" said Katie. "Proud! n'm--I am sure I don't know how any one can call me jfroud!" pur­ sued Mabel. - • "Well, dear, you asked me to tell yon your greatest fault, now you tell me mine; I know I've got one, you see," and Katie leaned • carelessly on her friend, who straightened up. " Oh, I suppose we all have faults, and, if I must tell yours, it is that you are just tlie least little bit selfish, my dear." "Selfish! me selfish?"* ejaculated Katie, regardless of her syntax; "well, I must say you're a very disagreeable "girl, Maliel!" "Thank you, Miss! when I tell von anything for your own good again. I'd like to know it, that's all." _ "Oh, you had better practice on im­ proving yourself. I'm sure I wish y. >u a very good morning," and the two v io had been as .one flounced out at separ­ ate doors and have not spoken since. • • " • • x --- Great Britain's W*• Expenditures. It has been calculated that during 127 years/from 1688 to 1815, England spent sixty-five years in war. The war of 1(588 lasted nine vears. It raised the expend- A good story is told of Agassiz, the great naturalist. His father destined liim for a commercial life, and was im­ patient at his devotion to frogs, snakes and fishes. The last especially were the objects of the boys attention. His vacations he spent in making journeys on foot through Europe, examining the different species of fresh-water fishes. He came to London with letters of in­ troduction to Sir Roderick Murchison, "You have been studying nature," said the great man bluntly. "What have you learned ?" The lad was timid, not sure at that moment that lie had learn­ ed anything. "I think," he said, at last, "I know a little about fishes." "Very well. There will be a meetiri^ of the Royal Society to-night. I will take yon with me there." All the great savants of England belonged to this society. That evening, towards its close, Sir Roderick rose and said: "I have a young friend here from Switzer­ land, who thinks he knows something about fishes; how much, I have a fancy to try. There is nnder this cloth a per­ fect skeleton of a fish which existed long before man." He then gave the exact locality in which it had been found with one or two other facts concerning it.* The species to which the speci­ men lielonged, was, of course, extinct. "Can you sketch for me on the black­ board your idea of this fisli ?" said Sir Roderick. • Agassaz took up the chalk, hesitated a moment, and then sketched rapidly a skeleton fish. Sir Roderick held up the specimen. The portrait was correct in every bone and line. The grave old doctors burst into loud ap­ plause. "Sir," Agassaz said, on telling the story, "that w&s the proudest mo­ ment of my life--no, the happiest, for I knew, now, my father would consent that I should give my life to science." . PITH AHDFN: H0HSWABD bonnd--The teCheMi goat., IT is the late dtft thai ly bootjack. WASTED--An artist to pain* the rtrf picture of health. Go TO the butcher's if ftm woold hear joint debates. WHKK 10-cent pieces again become fashionable as articles of jewelry every man can wear a aime-and-pin. JULIA WARD Hdw% says women do not fall in love any more. -Perhaps not, but they continue toiiave all the symp­ toms. SOME men wear their best trousers out in the knees in winter getting relig-. ions, and the seats of their pants out in summer backsliding. THOUGH the telephone has supersed­ ed the telegraph to a certain extent, yet the average woman still continues to faint away upon receipt of a telegram. A STRANGER in a printing-office asked the youngest apprentice what his rule of punctuation was. Said the boy: "I set up as long as I can hold my breath, and then I put a comma; when I gape, I insert a semi-colon; and when I want to sneeze, I make a paragraph." "WHY do they call him a brakeman ?* .asked the child, after that excellent official had looked in at the car door and "hollered" one of the lamps out. "What does he break?" "He breaks the silenoe," said the father, and the train rolled on, laden with trutlt--t Burdette. A LITTLE boy was once charged by his father, who was a carpenter, to grind his edge tools during his absence. The little fellow worked like a dutiful son, and on his father's return said: "Pa, I have ground all the tools, as you told me to do, a^d have them all in good or­ der except "the handsaw. I have not yet quite got all the gaps out of it." A PHILOSOPHER inadvertantly re­ marks:. "Waiting for a man to come home from a lodge is dull business for a lively woman." This is important, if true; but a lively woman is too sensible, to do any such foolish thing. She just bolts the front door before retiring, and lets the man wait until she gets ready to let him in. We speak advisedly, brethren.--New York Commercial Ad­ vertiser. TEE boy stood near the ranle's hind legs, . With utmost confidence-- ' Although no more he'll look BO sweet, •He'll have a deal more sense. THE LITTLE MAIDEN. Ster feet were exquisitely small ? (How wildly my heart nsed to beat. When I was a passionate hoy, At the sound of her delicate feett); HIT hand war exquisitely small (And I, her blind slave to command. Would have died had she only ordered • With a wave of her little white hand!}; Her lips were exquisitely small (Their cold words yet rankle and nxnartt. Exquisitely small was her head, But smaller than all was her heart! --JVetf York Sun. A LITTLE Austin girl, about 10 years of age, attended a child's party not long since. When she came home her moth­ er asked her how many little girls there were at the party. "Guess how many." "Ten?" "Guess again." "Twelve?" "No, you are off your feed, ma, en­ tirely. There were no little girls there at all, but there were quite a number of young ladies present," replied "the young lady," scornfully. The climate is said to be to blame for the excessive precocity which has become epidemic among the babes and sucklings.--Texas Sifting s. "HELLO! coming out of £ pawnshop?. What have you been doing there?" The party accosted, with confusion--"O, you see, I thought I'd go in and have my watch--ah--valued. You see you can get a more accurate estimate in that. way than in any other." About three weeks later the same parties meet nnder similar circumstances: "Ha, beetf get­ ting your watch valued again?" "Well --a--^yes! I saw from the stock-market news that there lias been a readjustment of values, and so I thought I'd see how it affected my watch." "No, SIB," said a Comstock (Nev.) barber to a suspicious-looking transient customer, who affably remarked, as the lather was being laid on, that he sup­ posed there were a great many men who failed to pay their shaving scores. "No, sir, I used to give credit, but I never do it now--in fact, nobody ever asks for tick any more." * "How'sthat?" "Well, you see," said the barber, trying the edge of his razor on his thumb nail, "I had a set of stiffs who used to ask me to chalk it down. I got tired of keeping books, and I adopted a new system. Whenever I shaved one of these old standbys I put a nick in his nose with my razor, and kept tally in that way. They got so tliey* didn't want to run bills." There was a tremor in the cus­ tomer's voice, as he asked from beneath the lather: "Do you object to being paid in advance ?" should fully expect that as soon as the i iture to £2(VKK),000. Then came the v. i ,. , ^,e distinguished guests. No matter .^grandpapa had. I sjire to be praJaa? J™ mounted to the \ whom it may be he is entertaining, the i ^ridod for. ^^patform on 4n o!d kitchen table, and President is always served first. He novelty of our intimacy was worn off, the first tfnie an interest or inconven­ ience happened to clash, I should ex­ perience the same want of kindness and generosity as T had witnessed in the case of tne others.--Jane Taylor THE 190 itinerant Ifethodist minis- ters who died aWMSMWd 3* years of age. . • ' " , war of the Spanish succession, which lasted eleven years. Taxes to the amount of .£62,500,000 was the result, and in the war of the Pretender in 1715, this war cost the people £49,000,000. The next was the Spanish war of 1739, which lasted nine years and cost the people £54,000,000. Then come the seven years war in 1756, which cost the people £112,000,000. The next was the A Scandal That Drew. The venerable clergyman arose slowly in the pulpit, and, glancing around on the thinly scattered congregation, said in ah emphatic tone, in which there was more of sorrow than of anger: "My bo- loved brethren, I am in hopes that there will lie more present next Sabbath, as I will have- occasion to reveal a scandal which has long oppressed my heart. It concerns the members of this churoh very deeply, and no one who has a re­ gard for eternal happiness should be absent." When the benediction was {ironounced the handful of people slow-y dispersed, but behold how much good seed a few can scatter! The next Sun­ day the sacred edifice was packed. There was, indeed, hardly breathing ruom when the white-haired sage once more lifted his head above the pulpit cushions, and' a silence ^s of death fell upon the expectant throng. He stood a moment looking upon the unwonted scene, and then his voice in silvery ca­ dence broke the hush of anticipation. "Dear friends," he said, "the scandal I would reveal is this--you will gather in this place in crowds to hear mischievous gossip, but .will not listen to explana­ tions of the inspired word. Now, my children, I offer my resignation. * am going to Europe for six months, and y- shall pay my own expenses." But no one of the vast multitude took tlie lesson to himsel/; he applied it to his neighbor.--Boston Courier. THE largest diamond-cutting house is in Amsterdam, employing 400 persons, where the Koh-i-noor was cut. I he trade is difficult, and the wages are from #7 to $12, or even $14 a day. \ jit Coffbe Taverns. Ah English lady writes that coffee taverns are not only great promoters of temperance, but also pay tneir way as an investment. One of the best coffee taverns is in a town in Hertfordshire. The window is painted half-way up', showing the words "Coffee Tavern,"and above hangs a small sign telling that lodging can be had, and nice, neat rooms they are with pretty frilled mn8- lin curtains, fit for a lady's boudoir. The large shop is fitted up with coun­ ters for the huge tea and coffee urns; small tables are dotted about, as in A foreign restaurant, and at the side there is a large table given up to newspapers and magazines; in the bar parlor there is a bagatelle board. If properly managed, the experience of most of those who have established coffee taverns over the country is, that they are not only self-supporting, but remunerative; and to bring this about, the eatables and drinkables must lie of the best, and the place rendered as at­ tractive as possible. Such establish­ ments are calculated to improve, raise and refine the general character of the people. A breakfast cup of tea or co|r fee is sold at the rate of two cents, and a slice of bread and butter for One cent. The cheap coffee restaurants here charge five cents, and the stuff is any­ thing but inviting; the {daces, too, are dingy and miserable looking. Let the temperance people get up A company to establish coffee taverns such as they have in England, and not only will they advance the temperance cause, but also obtain a good dividend 9n the investment.--Philadelphia Item. •A CINCINNATI society reporter has mysteriously • disappeared, and foul play is suspected, although it is possi­ ble that he is hiding somewhere in the Rocky mountains, as he was well sup­ plied with railroad passes. His last article was an account of the marriage of a pork-packer's daughter, in which report lie used the term "swell wed-, ding." It came out in the T>apers "sw: wedding.*--PNlodefohia . - - - •- •• ---- :3t:. •v^