The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

PPSSS n I wi I" I ^My.t tin«y •! HP "ton Ufa fnnnr to me That down by the M* Tint • u salt as a ood when yon oook |L A little old town _ ..". SbonW declarc np »nd dowtt, Tfan-took-it! Nan-took-it! Nan-took-it!" It ta nM, and O whlsh! *r It fim 11* ik? a fish , When on' of t*e wau-r y a hook ft!.. .1.^ B 't it d esn t oriret 1 f*!; To k "p inuraiu in* yet. Tfan-feook-it! Nan-tcok-it! Man' What mik"« it *o queer? ' Nan uevix wa* h"re, • ' • ABdncn-of tfaseyes that-nVrlookit" Bve saw h i» minute, - •'o v»h» is t ere in it, VktaendtaM "Nan-took-it! Nan-tooMW* >•)/} If ^o-ne'h'n? of cost V I am sore it was lost By<he nea »h n Home tempect has abookit. Ard it's mean of the oocan " ' Tu f --< er t ie notion "Han-took-it! Nan-took-1! Nan-took"ttl* I «nw*n the old town, , Pmhv, pei It and brown.- Thinks a l o* i s ira e ha« forsrok it, • An1 rin'1-i com'orf, may be, •ft w 'D', mv bnrtiv. "Nan-took-i ! N n took-1. Nan-took-itl" MT PRIVATE SECRETARY. J. , _ "Well. Peter, have I seen the last of . Ubem? Kotllj 1 begin to believe my advertisement reached the eyes of every man in London out of employment, and iiot yet am I fully satisfied with a einglo applicant." Thus I addressed mvsflf, half to my­ self half to my worthy butler, one morn- e ing in oarly May, when for two hours I had been interviewing a horde of men, " all anxious to obtain the situation of my private secretary, at figures much '. less, I ascertained, than those I had set Upon m my mind as a proper estimate 1 and valuation of their services. Within a year 1 had fallen heir to my Uncle's fortune, and, being a bachelor «f 35, and somewhat luxurious in my tastes and habits, with perhaps a disin­ clination to labor, I discovered my in­ creasing correspondence so severe a strain upon my time that I determined to find some one to relieve me of at least * a portion of the duties I found irksome, hence my advertisement of a few days previous. t', I had had in all some 200 letters, por- -.- tape, b^it from these I had selected twenty, nineteen of whom I had already seen. One, the one the wording of "whose answer, perhaps, had pleased me most, had not yet yut in an appearance. "There is one young person below, air," responded my good Peter, "but . it's not a man, sir. It's a vonug lady." "A young l:uly V What can si woman want with me ? However, I will see hey. Show her up." , A few minutes later, a rustling of skirts informed me that my latest vis­ itor had arrived upon the s<-ep^. I looked up to find a young ladv of SO, perhaps, simply, almost shabbily, dressed, but pos eving a pair of very pretty eyes, which were taking me in with an intentness which, had I been a bashful man, would certainly have in­ spired a blush. ' f As it was, sp'te of the shabby dress, something in the young woman's air "Caused me to spring hastily to my feet and beg her to ba seated, while she told in what way I could be of service to her. in any way. "I received a note from you this morning, Mr. Rodmau," she replied, in a vpice which was al once sWeet and re­ ined. "This; I think, was the hpur you aamed for me to call." "A note from me?" I stammered, in amaze. Withont further argument, she rose, and, laying on the table beside me a note addressed in my own chirography to G. Thorpe, Esq., resumed her seat. ^ "The 'Esq.' was not quite correct, you see," she continued; "but I am G. Thorpe. The initial stands for „ Grace." 1 By all the powers, the writer of the twentieth note was before hie, and was • in petticoat*! -» "I--I advertised for a male secre­ tary," I explained, hulf amazed and linlf amused; "I am a bachelor and liv­ ing in bachelor quarters." "I inferred it was u man you wished to fill the place, but, inasmuch as the duties only occupied certain hours of the day, I thought it might be equally ; well filled by a worn m. I am very de- aircms of such a jHwition. I am a good and rapid penmxil and, if my sex is not an insurmouiittble oimticle, I think that 1 ni ght give you satisfaction." As she spoke I remembered the note --short, concise, and withal expressed with a certain elegance of diction. Even the signature recurred to me-- "G. Thorpe." I smiled to remember that no doubt of the writer being a man had entered my mind. I had even men- "tally determined the first name was George. The idea she presented to me was en­ tirely new. Yet I really knew no rea­ son why a woman should not do as well as a man. If she had no objections to accepting the post, I did not know why I should have any to granting it. She would have her own room, en­ tirely disconnected from my personal (Suit of apartments, and I should expect to see her but for a short time each morning, to give her directions for her work during the day. There was no occasion for my remembering her pres­ ence any more than that of my house­ keeper, or the numerous maids. This, of course, was all mental, but when G. Thorpe, some fifteen minute* later, bade me good morning, it was un­ derstood that from the following Mon­ day the hours between 10 and 4 be­ longed to me, on consideration of a ^certain valuation, which my secretary decl a red far too liberal. This frank avowal was the first un­ businesslike expression I had heard '^Wr utter. Monday morning I awakened with a singular sensation that something unu sual was about to happen. A few . moment ;' consideration resolved the something into tlve f:ict that my new sec- ,jretiiry was that day to enter upon her • •^duties. When I entered the apartment I had «>dered prepared for her--a little study opening out of my library--I . f found her already at her post. Her hat and cl ak were laid aside, and, as she ' looked tip with a grave smile to bid me „ . good-morning, I started at the sudden » . discovery that an extremely pretty woman stood awaiting my orders. **- This di-covery Lrave me anything but <% ^pleasure. Instantly I became colder and Aore reserved. Of course, I told myself, she would try to fascinate me, and equally, of «otirse, ignominious failure would attend her efforts. As c> early and concisely as possible I tried to make her understand her du- ties. For a time I would lay the letters ; , s 1m'f> -re her with a rough draught of my replies but later, wheqrshe grew accus­ tomed to my mode/of expression, I would merely indieatk the tone of the response, whether negative, affirmative, or the conditions to'influence either. She grasped my ideas very quickly, and at S o'clock sent me her replies With one or two exceptions they were wholly satisfactory. . These I took to her to further ex­ plain. I fancied, as I entered the room, ah e looked weary--there was a sudden. sadness in her expression, I had not previously detected. But I refrained from any outspoken sympathy, and was somewhat more curt tha i usual in giv­ ing her the necessary details. "I am sorry to have been wrong," she said. "It will t ke me bat a few mo­ ments to rewrite these as y^u desire." Her very humility angered me. "They will wait until morning," I re­ plied. "I prefer you should not work Over hours." But when, an honr later, I looked out of my window, as the street d^or closed, I saw that Miss Thorpe had just left, and, going down to the study, I discov­ ered the letters, ready to post, upon the table. So the first day was marked by an act of disobedion e and a discovery-- Miss Thorpe was possessed of a- will of her own. Two weeks passed, along, everything working smoothly, when my corre­ spondence became more involved. Some building was being done under my directions, and I was obliged to in­ spect plan- and pro into minute details so that part of the time Miss Thorpe could only perform the,manual labor at my dictation. It was wonderful how much less irk­ some I found the task than I had an­ ticipated. The fears I had had in the beginning, that my secretary would at­ tempt to fasc nafce me, died. Her re­ serve and dignity equaled my own-- nay, "fcxoeeded it; for, when I would have led the conversation into other channels, she brought it b;iek to the present with consummate skill. My secretary had been with me six weeks, and, lurther than that she was G. Thorpe, and infinitely charming, I knewvnothing. - I h ive forborne to strife that, just at this period, 1 was placed in a most deli­ cate and trying position. By tho terms of my uncle's will, I was to marry my cousin, Alicv Thornleigh, or forfeit to her one-half the estate. The latter consideration would by no means have indue,ed me to give my hand without my heart, since I was al­ ready abundantly provided with this world's goods; but I felt bound in hon­ or to carry out my uncle's wish, so fair as meeting my cousin, whom I had not seen since a child, and endeavoring, if possible, to make her the offer enforced upon me by his generosity. My aunt and cousin had been speed* kfg the last eight years in America. It was just as my story begins that they cabled me that they were about to sail for London, ho that four weeks previous my cousin and I had met. I found her a very beautiful girl, but utterly cold and indifferent in manner. It certainly, however, I told myself, would not be difficult to learn to love her, and I resolutely set myself to the task; yet at the end of four weeks I was no nearer the desired result than at the beginning of that period. Indeed, to be no nearer, argued that I was fur­ ther off, since to atand still in such cases is impassible. * One day, when I had just loft M?ss Thorpe to her duties, my brother start­ led me by the announcement that Mad­ am and Miss Thornleigh had honored me bv a calL 44 We were so anxious to see yon in vour bachelor n-nurtrvipntst my dear Loy," exclaimed my aunt, as I wel­ comed her, "that 1 could not resist the impulse to bring Alice to see you. Now you must take us all over, and show us everything." "Everything but one room," was my mental reservation, shrinking involun­ tarily from that slirill-voic. d comment on tlie occupant of the study. "Not there," I said, as we entered the library, and my aunt-had moved toward the door her quick eye had detected. "Tint is my den." But, as fate would have it, hearing my voice and utterly unsuspecting any­ thing as unwonted as visitors, Miss Thorpe, wishing to ask me some ques­ tion, herself opened the door. For a moment the ladies regarded each other ; in silence; then, with a burning blush, Miss Thorpe withdrew, but not before. my aunt had drawn herself up with oonscious virtue and chilling disap­ proval. , "My dear," she said, turning to Ali^e, "we have evidently "made a mistake in our intrusion. We will remedy it as far as we may by bidding you, cousin, good-morning." "You must not misunderstand the position, 'however, aunt," I replied eagerly. "The young lady whom you have seen is my secretary and aman uen- sis. I should have been frank in the first instance, but I hoped there would be no necessity for an explanation." "I only am to blame for having brought Alice here," was the haughty reply, and the two ladies went out of my doors. ' "I stood trebled and perplexed for a moment, then went into the study. Mi-s Thorpe was fgain busily writing, but I fancied her face was very pale, and I wondered if she had overheard my aunt's words. She did not long leave me in doubt. "It will be two months to-morrow, Mr. Hodman, since I entered upon my en­ gagement witli you. Will you kindly aooept this short notice of my resigna­ tion ?" "Your resignation? You wish to leave me just when you have learned to understand all my ways, and have made me so dependent on you?" So dependent 1 Had I really uttered those words, and having uttered could I retract them ? A thousand new ideas went whirling through my brain, but her voice calmed them. "I have known always," she said,- "that my position here was an anoma­ lous one, but I felt by preserving my own dignity and womanhood I could recon­ cile its necessity to myself. I find that I am wrong. Thanks to your generos­ ity, Mr. Rodman, my need is not so great as when I applied to you, and I shal' doubtless l>e able before very long to find some other employment. But however this may be, I shall always feel for you the deepest gratitude." As she spoke the last words her lips quivered and her voice trembled; but I knew now why I had been so indifferent to Alice, and why the hours in the quiet little study had grown so dear to me. "You say you will be grateful, Grace," I answered.* "Then prove it by remain­ ing with me. I cannot do without my secretary; but we will give the post an­ other name--I cannot do without my wife. Grace, darling, when you stole my heart I do not know, but I think on that first morning, when, standing in your shabby dress and hat, I determined to harden it against "the wiles and fas­ cinations of G. Thorpe." Bo I won my wife, and so my cousia, Alice came into half my uncle's fortune; but, though all this happened long years ago, I have never ceased to be grateful that I gave to the twentieth applicarft upon my list the post of "my private secretary." --«--mm Robbing It Oot. Th# editor of the Courier, Mr.W. P. was seized a few mornings ago by a terrible pain in the left shoulder and neck. Having been favorably impressed for some time with the virtue of an article recommended for all sudden pains, and especially rheumatism,we rubbed the offending part, and, in less time than we write it, relief came. That article is St. Jacobs Oil. -- Canajoharie, 2f, Y., Courier. * i Jvstiy Served. When a despot, be he sultan or tav­ ern-keeper, is checkmated, eversbody laughs. The Shah of Persia, while traveling fifty miles an hour on an Eng­ lish railroad, called the managerial him and ordered that the train\ be Mopped for two hours, as he (the Staili) Avislied to take a nap, The manager courteously explained that it was not possible to ol>ey the command, as to do so would block the road and endanger life. The despot was obliged to yield, but his looks said: "If you were in Persia you would suffer for this !" % A hotel-keeper in Constantinople was a despot in his small way; that is, his will, or whim, was the law of the house. There was no other decent- hotel in the eitv; and during the Crimean war the English officers quartern! themselves there. But if one of them, while at dinner-table, expressed his dissatisfac­ tion with ;the fare, he found on iTis re- tr.ru to his room, his portmantau placed outside of tlie door and his bill pre­ sented. • • • v ' "T"' " • It was reaerved for a canny Scotch­ man, Sir Colin Campbell, to show him­ self more than a match for tlie'despotic landlord. There was only one room vacant when he arrived'--a double- bedded one--which he was obliged to take. He expected to pay more for the room, but wob indignant when he learn­ ed,from the landlord that he must pay for the board and lodging of two jar­ sons. Obtaining from him the ackiiowl- edment that he (Sir Colin) hud a right to daily food for two persous, he laid his plans. The next morning, with the consent of the other guests, he brought iu to breakfast a stout hamal, or porter, who cleared everything off' the table that was left. At luncheon the porter again appear­ ed; but at dinner, the landlord, fairly beaten, gave iu, and Sir Colin paid only, for his own board and lodging. Report of Flrnuntag S Mwrrlam'a Co-op«r- •ttva Itai W. In another column will be found a detailed report of Fund W., operated for the >>aat eighieen months by the commission house of Fiemming & M< mam. Th s reporr, shows clearly and in & concise manner the aire of the Fund and the profit* it is j ayin • month­ ly. 1 he report shows thiR to fie the old house operating capital in thi* manner. The record of the Fund and the Standing oi the house show it to be desirable :md s .fe lor those who wisb to invest small and medium amounts in the speculation marketa CSUCAGO WAREHOUSE FACILITIES. The rap.d growth of the commission hazi­ ness and the Main and general produce in­ terests of Ch catro has caled for greater warehouse f cilit.ies, which is bcinp re- si ond d to by some of the wealth er coth- mi-sion firms. Among the latest improve­ ments in that direction is a new gi aiii and general produce warehouse, six Tories hi'jh, with every improvement and dock and river frontage * belomrin to the commission house of l'iemming A Merriam, which gives t; ciu pr. bab.y the best facilities in the re- ce:vinyr ine in the city of Chicago. The ft<m have ample oanital and make reasonable ad­ vances on consignments. I* a gambling saloo i--One of the by stand emexc! tin*: "I take ha k one louiaf Tne •>anker rt nlies severely: "Pardon, monsenr,. but vou uave not deported an-thin r." "O, then I'll take back what I said.Par%% Fig­ aro. ] . A New l*rincipl«. The principle upon which Putnam's Paiw- txss Corn Extractor acts is entirely new. It does not sink deep into the flesh, thereby producing soreness, but acts directly upon the external covering of the corn, separates it from the under layer, removes the direct pressure from the part, and at once effects a radical cure, without any pain or discomfort. Let tho*e who are suffering from corns, yet skeptical of treatment, try it, and by th« completeness of the cure thev will be 'ready to recommend Putnam's Pai'nless Oom Ex­ tractor to others. Wholesale, Lord, Ntouten- burghA- Co., Chicago. •» . A oe?jti;EMan had his picture taken re­ cently ; cost him t'JOO. and still he is. not happy- A fellow took it nut of. the hap when the latch was up.--Boston Commercial Sullttin. "' Fernonal t--To Men Only J Th^ Voi-TAic Belt Co., Marshall. Mich., .will send Dr. D.ve's Celebrated Electro-Voltaic Belt* and Electric Appliance's on trial for thirty days to men (young or old) who are afflicted with nervous debility, lost vitality and k'luired troubles, guaranteeing speeidy anil complete restoration of health and m?«n ly vigor Address as above. N. B.--No risk Is incurred, as thirtv days' trial is allowed. Prof. Ponfick, of Breslan, has been clearing up some of the popular doubts, concerning mushrooms. He says th*t all the oommon ones are poisonous, but that cooking deprives them of much of their poison, though the water in which they are boiled should be carefully thrown aw. v, and the esculent washed in two or three waters. Dried mush­ rooms are only safe after four months' keeping. "I believe St. Jacobs Oil to be the very best remedy known to mankind," says Mr. Roberts, business manager of this paper.-- Milwaukee, Sentinel. , A Device That Held Good. Over opposite the village of Ellijay, Ga., is a rich piece of ground known all over Georgia as "the forked field." be­ cause of the following incident: Many years ago it was part of the estate of a wealthy citizen, who, when well on in years, was stricken with a disease which a council of physicians pronounced in­ curable. As he lay at death's door a lawyer was summoned to draw up his will. His numerous sons and daughters formed a sorrowful group around his bed. The lawyer wrote down his be­ quests--this farm to John, that to Su­ san, the other to Peter, and so on until Ka juul t>rnvi<1n^ fnry olj Then his watch and other personal ef­ fects were disposed of, the voice of the dying man becoming weaker and less audible every moment. "You have for­ gotten one thing, Mr. Alexander."^ said the attorney in appropriately solemn ancLgjkmpathetic tones. "What is it?" slowgv. hrsnered the old man. "You hav<^ot paid what you wish done with the forked field," said the attorney. A light gleamed iu the dying man's cyos. "Oh! yes," said lie slowly and then, with new strength in his voibg, exclaim­ ed: "That I'll keep for Jj^self," after which he turned over on his side and sank into a refreshing sleep. In a few weeks he was a-well man. and for many years thereafter the forked field was cultivated under his supervision. Almoxt Persuaded. .. ' » . It '-Is not to be wondered at that chronic dyspeptics are peevish, cro^s and nervous The dinease poi ons the blood, weaken* tne kidneys and shatters the nervous «-yntem. To those who feel almost per6uaded't;> try that never fail ng cure for dvspeesia and general weakness Known as Dr. Guvso.t's Yellow Ddck and Kaifwpori la we desire to say you make a great mistake by delaying. Now is the time. It will positively restore you to health, strength and vigor. It i« the pr«i-cri tion of an eminent physician, and is composed of Yellow Dock, Karsuparilia, Juniper, Iron, Bucuu, Celery and Caiisaya. Ask your di uggist to get it for you. An exchange puts a s6'emn truth in a novel way wh n it says that vonie men w- ar their be t rou-er~ out ill 'he knees in win er getting religious, and tlie se (to of the rpantfl out iu summer backs iding." Save the Vital Force#. Heat is life, and the best and most econom­ ical stoves are ttathboneJ&u-d & Co.'s Aoorn cook and ranges and the Westminster %e iter. They make the dwel.ings of the rich delight­ ful and warm the cabins of the pioneers on the outskirts of civil zation. If you want the best stoves madj, ask forth ! Acorn cook and ranges and the Westminster heater. "Ah, Brown! Understand you're troing to mnrrv iu; ain!" "Yes; my th>t wife al w - ys said I was" a fool, and io I am gbimr into matri­ mony a<ran in order to be consistent, you know."--wtw.'on Transcript. Free to All Minister* ot ('liurcheo. . I will send one bottle of White Wine of Tar SyruTt, gratis, to any minister i hat will rcohi- menu it. to his friends al ter giving it a fair test, and it prove- saf in Victory lor coughs, colds, throat or i ung dtaea es. Da C. D. WViiNEri; iiealing, Mich. One consolation^ A French ftaoer has the storv of a widow who vhited the tomb where reposed her lately-lost hue ami "Well," said she, 'there is < ne consolntion forma I now know where he spends his evenings." Skinny Menu _ ' "Wells'Health Rfenewer* restores health and viiror, cures Dyspepsia, Impote,nce, sex­ ual Debility. SI. Druggists. Send for pam­ phlet to E S. Wells, Jersey" City, N. J. t-' ' \ Thank a kind Prod len^-ef r th > decora ei "banjo craze. Aft* r a ban o is d cor» ted i*: cann >t be p a> ed on without spoil ng e pi ures. Now won'|»ome go^d art?e s art a mania for dee ratR'g accor ions-- FRtba- dfiphia * : " Five TIuiiinhimI Lrtlcrii Have been rece. vtxl by proprietor of the White Wine of Tar Svi up, from part:ies claim­ ing to be cured of con>uinpt^on bv its use." A Chinaman ha" written a poeih on a grain of rice. Let American poets follow his ex- nmple. Grains of rioo won't hit ..up a waste basset very fast. Instincts of Bees. Mr. J. M. Hicks in the Grange . Bul­ letin argues thus on the above subject: It is not easy to dra^ a line of dis­ tinction between the i *. velous instincts of l>ees (as so called by man) and the reasoning faculty of the human family. Reaumur, the great French naturalist, arrfeobserved a bee consultation over a large snail which ha<J crawled into their hive. They went to work, and with propolis, a gum gathered from certain trees, and invaluable to their housekeeping, the bees first glued the snail shell to the glass pane of the hive, and then covered the whole month of the shell with a thick coating of the sujwtance, hermatically sealing up^ their enemy atid burying it alive., W e ask is this an act of instinct or of perfect judgment, emanating as it nattfrally does with man, if brought into contact with a loathsome object which he could not otherwise manage ? When a spendthrift of an English no­ bleman was asked if he was not sorry at having cut down all the fine old oaks on the ancestral grouuds, lie replied that the only regret he had was thjfo the family tree itself could-not be felled and converted into suitably lumber.--Texas Sifting#. Ma. O. B. Young, of Portsmouth^ Ohio, writes: "I suffer- d severely from pile* and indigestion. Mv urine was cloudy, full of sediment and voided with p 'in. My general health was very poor; tne least exert on gave me great tatijue, for I w -s wry weak. I was recomm nded to try Dr. Guysott's Ye low Dock and >arsaparilla by a Cincin­ nati friend who had been cured by it of bver complaint and weak kidneys. Ihrce bott.es made a well man of me." ^ "Pi.unoed in a gulf of dark d spair" was the ch erinc- tune which greeted t e ear* of a newlv-married couple as th-'y w re leaving th alt:ir. The org n st was \ robab y a mar ried man._ Common colds neglected cause one- half the deaths. Consumption lurks in every cough, often using as a mask the ruddy cheek and sparkling eye till its dea'llv seeds are deeply planted in the system. Eilekt's Extract or Tab and Wild Cheeky will surely cure colds, coughs, croup, catarrh, bronchial complaints, and ward off < tten. Solid men admire the beautiful, and tlii* ac­ counts in some measure forth*-, thous.uiii* upon thotutands of bottles of Carboline, tie deodor­ ized petroleum hair renewerand drt skiu^, which have been sold yearly since its iuveunon, by Messrs. Kennedy & Co., of Pittsburgh, Pa. \ever i^o under a tr-^e duf'mr a thunder storm. It isn't fair to the lightning, which oft-en ha* to spoil a very good tree to get at a poor sort of a man. Db. Winciieli.'s Teething Sykup is Just the medicine for mothers to have in the house for the children. It will cure colds, coughs, sore throat, aud regulate the bowels. Do nut fail to give it a trial, you will be pleased with lis charming effect. * Sold by all druggists. "I have a f k«'i cold," said a -/en l"man to- hi* ac 'ii dntance. "Why do you hav it fr«vh one*. Wliy don't you hav it<ured!" Pure Cod-Liver Oil, made from select liv­ ers on the sea-shore, by Capwet.l, Hazard .V Co., New York. It is absolutely pure and sweet Patients who have once taken it pre-« fer it to all others. Physicians have decided^ it superior to any of tl e other oils in market The best reason yet advanced for hav ng Mo'i'iay washmg-da^-, the next day af'er Kund .y, is because cleanliness is nextto god-, line-s. - ' Uncle Sam's Condition Powders shoula toe used by every one owning or having the care of horses, cattle, hogs or poultry. It improves the appetite, promotes the growth, and restorea the lick. Hold by all druggists. Pes Franklin add thit soft words butter ao p-'r • nips, but thev have helped elect many a man to o'Mfio* for all that. CDnwliEDY. FOB RHEUMATISM, Neuralgia, Sciatica, Lumbago, Backache, Soreness of Hie Chest, Gout, Quinsy, Sore Throat, Swell­ ings and Sprains, Burns and Scalds, Genera/ Bodily ? Paine, Tooth, Ear and Headache, Feet and Ears, and all other Pains and Jlches. Ho (Ion on earth equal* St. Jaoom Oi* JJ » ««/<"< turf, simple «nd cheap Ittrnnl Brmrd.v A trial mtaili but the comparatively trifling outlay of 50 Cent*, and e»*ry one differing With f'ltiu can haro cheap and poaitiv* proof of itt •laims. , Pirectlona in Keren langTiaK**. * I0I.D BY ALL DEUQQIST8 AHD 0EALES8 IN MEDICINE. XVOOELER&CO., BaMmorf, 1M., 17. 8. X mIMMONS SASH 8UPFOKTER8,Chicapo. ub«titute for Weights. 890 W. Lake htrwt. EJ a | O TKWtal for ni'xt'rt Oataloir. Hl'T.T/S al f\ I Vw Mair Ntom, 'M & 40 Monroe Cliioaj?o. AC.KNTK WANTED for the Bout and lnii l^ot *>iial lk>ok« aiui Bible". l>ric**?< rvduofit S3 percent. Natiosai. Publibhinu Co.. Chicago. 111. YnHIIB MCH If want to tears Talarraphr tea I UUnQ IIIKJf montba^and b* oartala of a M "Iniaa VALKNT1NB feROS.. JaBM*Ula. Wla WATCHES! Jewf.i.bt. Sn.vF.nwAHK, n'tailod al rati1*. Pricv liHt tre«. T.W.Kvnm-tly, Wlintaaalo anil rrtall. Hend for prioo-liat. (IdihIm wiltO. I» Wli_n iiindV to order. E. ITItNliAM, TI HImU' Ktrfct, I'liicaKO. * WflliTH ififlHTSWWTf Tk^T^imiM'llUigat llir world :l »nmplo fr**- AMnw«l. lr»ti»ii, Uiroii, Micli. ENCINESiSs^r^ WtitoTn AULTMAM * TAYU)K (XX A ruMtil <'ard »,i ('! Aitlf Hunt,., Hitila Nc » V"i-h. the New I'uliUHlier* .. Fine. CIm hii Sul>* rii'lt«in H iok-<, for tlu lr 'I'. irott Circular t>> Ayr"'*" It will tuittlr and ahiosikr you. |iy mfimiwiTi *««•••« Xifk Via <nai • Unit--I •••ml i. ima CTfi •>•>«•« « • bm ||M» <r Mr m Id J*' • V Ml my, TSlcnS. milNUTHEH ..i nmoaars »• iuia («> w tMhi Tn ika imm twM tall ^ |jbiK Moiai aiz Am «• a. j •Hail GATttllT VasthmJA^UBICI IwfUat* rttitfln tha wont oaneejnaurea oon abta ataap; affaoti cares wbora a.1 other* fa triml eritwtMen Aamott mtplieaL PricadC MAN.8L BestOonRh Byrup by druawista EaBBBBSaEZE F3 I AIM O S {^P 'oial priopa and tprms. KKKD'S TKMFUE OF Ml >U'. i:i<i Sti*t«; CHICAGO. KOCH'S ™ CONSUMPTION w I* promptly TlTi.innTTrillTr'1 a l>;tHt d follows! l>% the III \| || V U K Y',n KoiliV thiH.rv, in r«' iniMirUnUiOUU I JLIil 1 arat.nua, UU HUrOf CURE-SSf FRKE TRIAL S25 Every Day r k Oaa a* nailj aalt with oar Well Augers & Drill* l OB*MaaadoaahaiMr*aalra^W« Warranted tha Beat «a Eartfcl . Many ofonr <ra>toa«ra maka from SM toSaa aSaa. Book aad Ciroulan Fill. Addraaa. LOOMS I miuil. TiFRB, OHIO. M m mi! Fgiivnilvc Pill* make Ntw Rich Biw»d hd1 wili compl^t^ly chang* th« blood In the ent>r« e^i hs. ' * ' Ths Howe hoale took One premium at Philadelphia, Paris, Sydney, and other exhi­ bition* Borden, Selleck i Co., Agents, Chi­ cago, lit . . "Yes,'**ai<l thefa-m«*r. "Imj'b'i! wref^np^s ar<> e\p"n«.:ve l«ut the h red man i1oe"i't •top to rest every time he has to climb it" It will do one good to look in at H. B Bry­ ant's Chicago Business College and see the busy woi keis. ' ' Talk of human pride, Oan anyfchinpeqn.il the haujhtine s of a hoaxdinjr-houne kef jH'r who bia iust had two applications for one vacancy? Chapped Hands, Face, Pimples, and roujrh Skin, cured bv uRhi^ J iTNiPrtt Tah 8oap, made 6y Casweix, Hazabd & Co., New York. "Generous to a fault" may he said of men --m e&xt they are gvnerous enough to their own faults. - Get Lyon's Patent Heel Stiffeners a]iph«»d to those new boots before you run them over. A farce-seetno man: One who believes that life is only lolly. ^ ̂ Tbt the new brand. Spring Tobaooa' A mass by the Pope costs $200, and sometimes more. ( consamp- AJi EXTKAORDENARY CASE. , Acwtin, Texas, February 38.1881."' - To Mr. 3. W. Graham ̂ Druggist: " Dear Sir--My case was an acute form of Bronchitis, and was of one and a half year's duration. I employwf the best medical aid possible, but failed rapidly, until the doctors said 1 would die--that my case was incur­ able. Thrown upon my own resources, I got a bottle Of DR. WM. HALL'S BALSAM FOE THE LUNGS, and I la six hours felt a decided relief. In three days the j cough almost disappeared. Now that my chaiioea ot Hie are good for many yean, I earnestly recommend alum In niniT •nfliiw of Mil ml hi liimi illnnnnn | a «. LATMRQf. Any iwnon who will take <>n« pil Iu miy be restored U> cuoi t«rrc In ttiiv® mont ench nf^ht from 1 to 12 . . tir.ilth. if such a ihinx be poaaibla. Sold OTaryvrhero, •ant b» mail for 8 letter atamM. I. 4. 4i m. BmIm, Ma Hancar. ""a. FRAZER AXLE GREASE. •eat la tk« WarM. Oat tka fMiniaa, Kw> mrj »acka*« kaa aar TrU«.«urk mm4 J* •arM FraMf'*. (K)LD tTKUVWHIUt& $1,011 Reward I "AmoScaa Etiauettt^ la the STANDARD. It U USEFUL, BEAUTIFUL aod POPULAR. SELLS WITH EASE. Oti January l»t. 18R4 we will pay the following CASH PltliMl t MS, In ad-lltlon to a LIBERAL COMMISSION UN EACH BOOlv SOLD. To the person m'lilnK delivering thelarce»t number of "American Etiquette" between n.;e. 1st. 1882. and Jan. int. 1SS1. I.VWi tll<! S3<HI; thr third. $lllO; the fuurtli. S73? tlie fifth, lill nayalile In (itlLD. Tins Is tlieMOSl LIU- F.U AL offer ever made, anil all should avail themselves of this opportunity to MAKE MONEY. l'll<"J':'1'* i!£ TKI.'Iti rui:v UlVKN. Send r<.'.50 for COM1 LKTK CANVASSING OUTFIT, and enter the CONTEST AT ONCE Particular* aent on receipt of three cent dtumn. Write at once to Suhaerlplton Boole Depart­ ment. Mention this paper. ISeferem-e. any Bank In Chicago. RAND. MCNAI.LiV & CO.. V hi<<iK». H5EI(TSi«!WP WANTED t SubscripiionSasks J '-l'irr hooks their enual. All new nna no com|>elition. TerHt^velo.-Cr Th, y Kitlsfy tlie Apoot beeaiue they sell fcist, the people on account of their value. Vgswman's America*" fitrni thy JBoawd Bnildfrs to The oniy book covering the subject. The Lives sf the Jan^s Brothers. The only complete account of ihu Miwoyrl Outlaws, i' || TSu- only Xarratln Em The jeannatte. cj<i<>Brdia of *u a™h« inehMinsr set ivaLW. KA.\E. 1S.% \ I, -v- hall and ME LOXG. •' Pictorial Famlh Blbl«."5'.Si ̂tnlnlinr bo<h »< rslon«onBipSew Tntomtal. Mora V, ituros an.! Illuntrations than any other edition. T»u. ,n0vt i lltl Hll. TKKMS granted by any L!sn:\U UOUSE. PHOMl'T UtALlMtM. WO for circulars and term*. Territory is 4 COOK FUBIISHINO CO.. ^ 96, 96) 89 ft 100 Kctayylltan Block, CHICAGO, ILL* Vivid Contrasts of Condition in the Ketropottk Ned Stoke's bar, it is said, takes in 1200 to $300 per day for rather ni^ht), as it is patronized by a crowd of fast fellowa who drink hothing but high- priced liquors. A dinner at Delmoni- co's or Penard's can be had at from S5 to $40 per guest, according to the bill of fare and the wine list. A nnmber of dinner parties have been given du­ ring the past season in the Fifth Ave­ nue in which $200 were expended for flowers alone. How easy to pay such bills when one's income is $1,000 per Hay, and tins is not *a large figure among our capitalists: but just look at the other side of social life. Four wo­ men were arraigned in the police court for selling vegetables and matches in the streets. One of the nuint>er said she was a widow with two ehildreu, and that this was their onl\4 support. The magistrate replied that it was a .viola­ tion of tlie law and he was obliged to fine them $10 ajiiece, and as they were conveyed to the prison one of them fainted. Such contrasts may be found daily*. Speaking of incomes. ex-Gover­ nor Morgan's is estimated at $r>00,000 a yeftr. Russell Sag© is rated at a mil­ lion to a million and a half, while Jay Gould's income cannot l>e less than a half dozen millions. _ To come down to s nailer men, R. L. Stuart U»s nearly a in llion a yerr. while Robert itnd Ogtlen Uoelet are each rated i t $250,000. Ben­ nett is rated at $6tK 1,000. I). O. Mills figures at $300,000, and the young Van- derbil'ts, William K. and Cornelius, are not much below him. The estate of A. T. Stewart & Co., lias an income of a million, which renders Cornelia Stew­ art. the richest widow in America. The Astors. John, Jacob and William, are estimated at a million and a half, while William H. Vauderbilt probably has five times that sum: aud yet, within five minutes' walk of the plave where these live, one can find multitudes^ whose life is but a prolonged battle with famiue. PATENTS CAN I OBTAIN A PATENT? yoi W Send a roujrh sketch or (if you can) a model of 'our Invention to (iKOIHilC E. I.KIIOX, "uhiticlnii. I). V., and a Prrllminnrv £>j» ninntion will Ih> made of all United Statea patent* of the k:iuc class ot inventions and youwilf be advised whether or not a patent can beoutollMd. FOIt THIS PUEI.l.HINAIt V FXA.M1NA- TION NO ClIAIHiE I5» .UADK. will a Patent If you are advised that your lnven- tion is i<atentable.aend jtiSO.to pay Government application fee of !>il5. and mft for th<! ilrawiutrs required by She Government. Thin is payaWe \\ hen application ia made, aud is nil of the Weiw milesa a patent is allowed. When allowed, the attorney's fee and the film 1 G'>vern- ment fee (S20) is payable. Thus you know be- foivliMid.yi'r nothing, whether you areiroieRtoget a patent or not, and no attorney's fee is chunked un-Ws you do itet a Patent. An attorney whose fee Oapeiids ou his success in obtainintr a I'ntent will not a<i\ise you that your invention ie patentable. linlesH it really is patentalile. so far as his brat iutUrment can aid in deterni!nin>r the question; benco, you^can rely on the advice jrtven after a preliminary examination is had. Ili-Nitcn Pat-«la aud tlie Kevittration of Labrlis Trade ark* and Kc-WMaea accured. < 11 vcutx pre-pared and lile<V App'ications in revivor of Br. Meted, A kandnaed.or Korfcltrd ('Rxm made. Very often valuable inventions nr. sa\eii i:i theee Miaacu of oases. If you have undertaken to scoure nur own patent and failed, a skillful handlinjc Of the case may lesci tosmvesn. Semi me a v ritten requeat addressed t>> th« C<inniit>sionor ot' r.itenU that he recoKiiia" Gikik-ik ]',. 1 kmon, of Wash- tnyton. D. O.. as your aUorney ill the i :.He. ir:*1n(T the title of the invention and about the date as flUUK your application. An examination and re­ port will cost you nothing. Se.irclHH mmlo for title to inventions, in fact :iny iiitoriimtie.i reiatiwr to Patent-* promptly f itmlslied. t'opie* of I'etents mailed nt the regular (^-veninient rates. \'26e. each.) lCemcim!*?r this otlieeha^l»*ii in suoct^saful operation since l«t>5,»nd youtherrforv reaptleben. •nts of exiHTienee, beaded ivfemwv m be iriven to actual client?, in idmosi every county in the U. S, Pamphlet relating to Patents free uion requeist. CEO. E. LEMON, SIS Ifith St., WASHINGTON. Attorncy-nt-I.n vr anil Solicitor of Ameri* can niia Foreixu 1'iitciiU*. Consumption Can Be Cured. DR. WM. HALL'S lungs.BALSAM Cnnw fon»unii»H«»n, Colds. Pneumonia, Influ- enxii.llroiirliiiil l»ifll('ultle«,l{nincli!tls,ll la-sM, Asthmn, Croup, Wlieiiiiini; Coiiu.ii, and till DImi'Iihohol tlio llrtiMthin:; Orjfans. It Miotllex aiul liealu the Membrane ul I lie f.iiti^K,iiill;inu'<t ami iHiiwmnl liy the dkiea"i', and pre niijht Hiveah and liKlitni ss aeniss She cluwt which amimpany It. CoiiHUiniititm in not an laeiiialilvmalail)'. Il.tl.l.'S i t V l>S A M will cure you, even though professiuiiiil »1<1 ikils. SIOO.OO IN COLD CIVEN AWAY. To all «!ib cribers to the I'D iPI.K'8 WEEKLY.or any person who will subscrilje fo. ihe |> i)er at tlio nxraliir prur of <g.tlO per y« r, we h ake this offe-. We »ill Live to the part. who will send tin b m:.il, l>e- foretlie 1 til of December u. xt, the largest listoi words used iu the KiiKii li la.mua. e th it c.n'i formed lrom any or all of tue letters coiuposinu the m-me of "THE PEOPLE'S WEEKLY," The sum of FIFTY DOLLAKS IN «OI.O; to <be party wndinR the second laiyest list, TII1KTY I> l.l. VK.S IN (JOLII, and to the pirtj sending the third largest list 1 VVliNTV 1XU.L..VKS I> «C» li. THE I'EOPI.E'S WI'EKI.Y is the Cheapest and Best Illustrated Paper in the country. It ;h printed by the well-known house of ltund, McNall> Ac Co.. Cliicaijo, 111., and cont litis ev.;ry week eleirant iHu.irjtious of current events, American irid Koreiun neen-T'. , views, portraits of eminent men of the dav, .Vc., \c.: also choice stories by the best writers sketches, anecdote*, ftc., tie., ke., to amu»e, please anil instruct, and i^o:ily Two Dollars per ye^»r--just half tlie price charged lor other illustrated pnivers. Send in your subwriptlon'for THE PEOPLE'S WEEKLY at once--for your name must lie on our sub­ scription list to enable you to compete for the above prizes The prizes will be paid in fiOLI) COIN, and the sue- awful lists, together with the names of tlie ;ortunate competitorH, will be published in full in the issue of Dec. 23, l&H. , . , Addrew.all letters and make Pontoffice {kuen P»f»- Ue to Manatcer TBI PIJPLI'S WEESIT, CMcteJ, 111. We guarantee Che above to be carried out In ewr> particular. RAND. McNAI.LV * CO. AKCY rjy r~* AM® SOT hllwNO \!iVAWYif^rcM L-I VVKAR Ol'T. | by Watchmaker*. by mail. -5 ct«. CiicuUi* FBJtE. J. 8, hiUCh. & CO- S8 Der SU. .N.K 4 PAY eimmrew TftfAuea MOiar, -/j*-- D/sAMcrr0 7srr.mER mhi wS£Moro»c4Mioam Thlt K.T.SInetr,$20 With $* set of Attuchments Free. Warmnted (jei-fecl. Lijr'it mnninjc. quiet, hanilsoine and durable. Sent on test trial-plan when desired. Uoppi Hmi« Org««»i I set* Kfftis, 1- stops. Meehnnn-al Sub Baw.octavecoupler knee kwrila. with ts stool and |1 Book, onlv S75. jkNo »ent on test trial plan if tie-sired. Kli pant ease, mactiiliit n* tone. diiKilJ,- insiilennd out. Cir­cular, wttli testimonials,free. A*k P.Payne Co. ,1 • rhiiti av Chicago THIS racw ELASTIC TRUSS I Rm • 45 r'»ria* f'om all olWt, || , CvMkap*, Self-AdjaaUag f (b mslet«MUpta iu«li to aii;--* of tt« ^xir, *bil« tu« I ' lilted I Is beid ncirtlj liy *<><i ntf bt. a eirt m. 1( U (mt, 4tirab)« ®Rd efeca?. hern L>r m*x:L » Egalestoa Truss Co., Cbicago^ UL» NOT FAIL Mnd for oar f&ll prio« B WlHst for 1881 Frf to cation ontainji d«scr p> tionaof r»»qu<r- H H l B I < h 1 f o r P « r * * . D « l « < r F i n i l j use witn ov«r illustrations. We msI. ml cfnuUnt wholf*»ie pnce§ In qu nt t to 11 ie purcaa««p. "•"TSiffisarwiar^iaS" A 2«» Wabatk Atrvaae. I'Utafo, Itliaota. rHaa engraving represent^ tbe Langs tn a A 6000 FAMILY REMEDY STRICTLY PURE. Harmleaa to the Most X»eUcai«^ •r it* Mtfetiii cojwmnfiOT mm CCKEB when other rancMoaf «ad Ph)kician» IwvetaiM to effect a cure* • Witti** C. piaoKs, merchant of Bowlinir Qi Va., write* April 4,1881, that he wants osto know the Lend Balsam htm evrai hi* mother of tion, after the physician had given her up _ ble. He savs. others knowim; her case have I Balaam and been cured; he thicka all m abould give it a trial. Wii.m/.m A. Oraham & Co., wholesale Zani>s\-ille, Ohio, write us of tlie cure ol Freem an, p. .veil-known ciiizen, who had with Bn mchitis in its worst form for Tlie Litno IUlram cared him, m ft J»«n of Bronchitis. As an Expectorant it has No CtfuMi Fortialckrcll Medltiwi Dtelttk 14 TH WEEK 0F 0CT.n881 MUTUAL CO-OPEMIIVI Nos. I4U143 LaSaile tt, diltipi, l or tlie Safe an«l I'rotitubTe hm^batat m0 S1111UI ami MihLiiui Aawoah. DloUten'NYirv (I thr ft s' i>f ritrA mmA, ' H f - t o i c : ; t r u b m r i b r r * < 1 i a J f g t f . IS® fSHABKH OF (10 KACB.1 />T .SMbML 46 pt rouit. $*W" BT -A.T BMC2W Of the Pr lits mnde on each Slun> of Fund W. rtnrtaff tl^pait lis mouths, or tr. in May bt, W, to Nor; U| May, June, July, Aus-., Sept., tV t., Nov., Dec.. Jan., Feb.. Slareh, April, May, June, July, Aug., <££•' 1883. 88 45 i....W es 39 51 " SB • 43 • 45 • as • -Bex .....a....... Prolsto on each Share of jtlA for 18 monUio. *9~Pividenils or Profit^ are paid M nthty. State- me-its are sent Weekly t ' HharelKiiden.KMnc ""11 •••• of Trade - made for tlie Wet k . Owint: to the many changes in value* during tte Ml «eve>>tcen months, auu ",.et-of trades*mmaAnana c; owed without i>ruflt to the l iuxl, winch van fatly plaine 1 in fomie statvmenis to HJiare^iwnefM; notwith-tandinu these trade , a profit of IU made on ea. h »uare, and »e ar - p eased to bear 01 aatisfaction of thareho.dere. 11 October Trades of Fad W. First Week October I*rofite mt0 1 iter cent, JSwoimI Week October Profits afj| 9 per cent. Third Week October Profits 8 1-2 iter cent. . • . J •' * • 'J Fourth Week October Profit* mm 8 H-4 per cent. - « OK $:t.d7 1-2 PROFITS FQM THE MOyTIf OF OCTOBER^ I' Uinl \V haa be* nao long in openttoa M J atta.ii'd a Iio-.tion an I forv»' iu the market makes its fu nr.' protiUble success of murh 1 certain . tt;iinnieut. As tlie Fund ln'om.f more fn ly sat ucrihed for,! are e:i-.bled t > take 'ar.r. r ir do-, fully protect i ' h av.\- n.aiyins, chu* iuereikunK tbo peanM' pn'Htf. Khnr'S for Fund W now being sofewnbed to*. liability to the Khureholder beyond tbe amoont ia> Veuteil. * ? Ai;v shareholder who m >y become diwatKfied. or 1 any cause may wish to sell Ids sb .ck, can wad it to e clliee, ,ind it will be ce iled at its full face value F 'lid W (Vinip iny. We al-«o execute order; for tlie pnrrhaur or sale 1 Orain, Provisions and 8t cks on maritilM for larna 1 s all iinlivid; al trades, and for Sio»-k , BcsmJb I i.tlier iuveslment kecuvitii*. /«'• < O'/i fr fl x paid to of t'u •• rl It, for Ihr p>s' FOI R MONTH, fcntv [itiMMiHol toot! r 1OO per eeut M If tmw.rtitni', fmW/if/ file <iri(/i »• at ttl titakhtff tiuiiirif, or p t>/ttblv ot* dewMML AH money t:ix*s into the wording fund an wma ceived, and tir.tw.s ("tv.di lid ti'.in all tutu re I made immediately alter enteritis? tho fund. The 1 ive eirci.lar wives lull explanation* Iney are ent freo on appli cation. ItOBitAM k*t whieh eauteraa* f ft ular.s. Slian-ii tor sal** now iu Fund W. JUkMHMW nuulr on ( ouNUninentN. Address FLEMMINC & MERMAN#. (Jeneriil Coimn(<uloii Mernhietii, 1 141 ft 143 LaSaile St^ Chicago, OL. Special attention paid to our R»> cemngDepartment of^renenJProdnofl^ having large Warehouse, centrally lo­ cated, and other special facilities, advances made. Correspondence wilfc ehipjiers to this market solicited. CAB Pil C I Grocery. One of the bnUortM lUn OnLCi b at-payin stiren m Uhicj»{0. " " -- '•--* *obu. »- WW* I (MM . „ ... ... -- .. . Hut vldlv-Tticr a«kisr l About W 11 >:ke desirati'e turn proiHKfT^t^ ire a d vill buy or partial payment. .. ... . »-- -- • sou t. r si>i;i:i^. Adit's C. A. MOKH1U, * OQ* N\liol.'s.de Teas, .>0 & J-outli WaterHt,Uhieago,Ca. • 11-iiealtii of nreseat .1.1*1.^ l> A &1I1UUI ifiVWciru-T T • (•: \,r L'.A " H. •' MASON ft HAMLIN are certainly Quality, for paasand power and secular music in ONE HVNDK£I) •57. M6.«)S, and upwari. Inreator* of aman aad amount* in Oram, btocks aa fnliv protactMl extensive mis-l :'imieutiaio Our succe»aful, lully t-'bliaiied pdao. Try It. 1 at>nc ^vt.ok'v, di ridesda paid ly. at ouce tor axpi ci'^uiRr'; and :*st S>; slii pais! Choi. B£.-r.tua ou fug ftti f.bc '•_« \ If] MI'TOAH, HI * 141 St.. CiU'a(Oi !•. jar* We wacf a local every toiri lament*. OiXi.5 i;uv to a. V.o aoteztu*is.i.^k tittn taruia. i reoord, MUMk C.N. U. •V important improvemenln^tddiw to ; --_-- of tone and durability. WW hot quarter at mucA an other Piano*. ILLDaiaAi INCREASE $10 YOtJB CAPITAL. $20 WHEAT m STOCKS MlUKN WKlTINti W AWlWTISWWfc ,« . Uleaae aajr jaa aaw Ik* aiiaaltaiii* In lata