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. iX Might tempt, should heaven see i An mttnitoi to kiss, m tbink, AlMbfsfeefc Like rote-hoed aea-llawers toward the heat, Tbey Btwteh and nmd and wink Thetr ten soft buda that part Mid meet. No flower-bell* that expand Glean halt eo hwwwiw A* shine on life's untrodden A baby's feet and sweet brink A baby's bands, like rosebuds farkU . Whence yet no leaf expands, _ Ope U yon tonch. though close U|HXI1R| A baby's hands. Then fast as warriors grip their brands When battle's bolt Is hurled, They close.clenched hard like tightening bands. Mo roseb .The iw« rosebuds yet by dawn tm pearled " itch, even In loveliest lands, sweetest flowers in all the A baby's hands, m. A "baby's eyes, rre f-p^ech begin. Ere lip learn worn or sighs, . Blest; all things bright enough to A babv's eves. : : j , t Love, while the sweet thing laughs and lies. And sleep flows out and in, Bees perfect in them Paradise. Their glance might oast out pain and sin, Their speech matte dumb the wise, Eut mute glad KOdhe&d felt within , • , A baby's eyes. ^ •HSkDtnlwrni. abyss! I had slid soma ond the spot where I fell, hurt, I fcrose with diffi- ce showed me that we the entrance of that sin­ ter called W the warmer optflow from whose passing through a narrow into the river, had kept upon the death-trap within whose fearful cir- culty. A darn --- opposite tl • tody of "He isn't here!" "He's across the river 1" "He was a-goin' up on skates on the ice, to take the stage coach at East Hardop. You'll have to go and see him there, for he ain't a-comin' home again. You must be pretty quick, for he was a-goin' to start not far from this time." This was evidently a pretty-well-con- sidered scheme of Mr. Tupling's, and indicated that he must have something somewhere worth taking a good deal of pains for. This could not well be any­ thing except money, which accordingly I presumed he had about his person, to the full amount of the receipts from his swindling sales, very likely £5,000. On skates, I meditated; that is not a bad idea; it's glorious skating all the way up, and for such a slippery trick so slippery a means is very suitable. I determined that I would take a hasty supper, procure a pair of skates and a stout stick, and start off alone after our sly friend John; for skating being a "specialty" of mine, I made no doubt that if he should have set out I could overhaul him on the river. So, medi­ tating and deciding, I reached the ho­ tel, and finding tlie proprietor I ad­ dressed him in haste: "Landlord. I want you to do four things a little faster than they were ever done before. First, get me my supper. Second, send out and buy me a pair of good skates; and also, third, a stout straight cane. Fourth, furnish me a pocket-flask of brandy." "It shall be done in fifteen minutes, sir." He disappeared with speed, and it was done--I mean the supper--and be­ fore my short and rapid meal was com­ plete the remaining articles were at hand; and, paying my bill, putting the skates and liask in my pocket, fortify­ ing myself with comforter, overcoat, gloves and mittens, and grasping my stick, I was off. It was now between 5 and 6 o'clock, and bitter 'scold, with a sharp wind from the northeast. Set­ tling my head well down in my coat collar, as if I was trying to eover my ears with my shoulders, with hands in fockets, and cap drawn over my eyes, turned northward,. bent low, headed diagonally across the river to round the next poiift above, and struck out across the glimmering silent ice, with long, steady, rapid, sweeping strokes. My skates, fortunately, though quite new, were not too sharp, and, as the ice was extremely hard, they ran over it with very little of the scoring cut which is so apt to diminish the speed, and for twen­ ty minutes I sped hastily on at a mod­ erate pace, until I should get a little easy in my werk. There had been so much skating that the many tracks along my route afforded me no indica­ tions as to my predecessor. From Muddletcn to Hardup is twenty-five miles by the course of the river, but I might decrease this distance by a mile or two by taking advantage of my knowl­ edge of the river and "cutting off cor­ ners." But Tupling doubtless < knew the same, and my object, if attained at all, must be so by desperate, straight­ forward racing. Away I went, sweep­ ing by the wide, bare meadows, past the gorges in the hills, whirling around point after point, stretching in straight lines from one to the next, while the re­ duplicated ringing strokes of my skates made a monotonous music for me, and I could hear the little fragments, cut out by an occasional heavy foot-thrust, blown crackling backward by the wind. Now, I could see upon the river, half­ way up the reach, the figure of a man skating along at a good pace. It must be Tumbling! Now, at last, I put forth the very utmost of my strength; and, going at a tremendous pace, was rapidlv overhauling the dishonest bankrupt. 1 was almost within speaking distance, when he must have heard the ringing of my skate-irons; for suddenly looking over his shoulder he saw me, and in­ stantly redoubled his speed, which con­ vinced me that he was my man. Away we flew for nearly a mile in perfect silence, except for the scoring and ring­ ing skate-strokes; but I steadily closed up, until as we turned and swept north­ ward again, round the bend in the bow of which the prison stands, I spoke: "Tupling, hold hard! I want to speak to you!" But he slackened not his sustaining himself by his arms, but made ineffectual struggles to creep out upon the thin ice, which cracked an«l broke as he bore upon it. "Hold still!" I cried; 'Til get a hur­ dle!" So I hurrited to the next fence and was returning with the hurdle dragging behind me, when it occurred to me that circumstances facilitated the making of good conditions with Friend 3ohn, since he was now in a manner at my mercy.. So I halted and addressed him. "Are jo® John Tupli "Will you settle Mr. Spiggleton's bill flf I get you out?" He answered evasively, "Oh! are you going to let a man drown before your eyes? Shove me that rail, will yer?" "Agree to settle that bill in full, and here's the rail; if not, why you must get out yourself. Come, I can't wait ftll night here; I have business at H." And, dropping the rail, I turned as if .to depart; not that I would have left the rogua to drown, but it was as well to let him think so. So he very sullenly agreed to my conditions; upon which I spread myself flat on the ice, crawled out until I could reach him with the rail and held it as firmly as I could, while he raised him­ self upon it and cautiously crawled out, resting partly upon the rail and partly upon the ice. As he scrambled along to firmer footing, such was the intensity of the cold that every time his mitten or his knee touched the ice, all dripping as he was with water, they froze fast to it; and when at last he stood erect, which he was only aide to do by my help, and walked stiffly and feebly to­ ward the shore, we had not reached the bank before he was clothed frcm head to foot with crackling ice armor. He would fain have sat down to rest, but he would never have risen, and it was only by threats and entreaties that I succeeded in leading him to the door of the nearest house, where, upon knock­ ing, we were hospitably admitted and placed forthwith before a cheerful fire. The bustling dame and her husband both agreed with me that Tupling must at once go to bed, for he was almost speechless. When, however, Mr. Allen (our host) and I attempted to strip him, he would" have resisted. Without at­ tending to his efforts, however, we quickly disrobed him, when his reluct­ ance was explained. He wore a belt with a considerable sum in gold sewed up in it under his clothes. But we stripped him, rubbed him down with warm towels, gave him a dose out of my brandy-flask and it was not long be­ fore he was asleep. On emptying his pockets, that his clothes might be dried, I took the liberty of examining his ex­ chequer, whereupon he appeared to be possessed of about £5,000 all told. From this I abstracted the amount for which I stipulated with him, and, hav­ ing deposited the same with my own slender pecunium, I went to sleep, pretty well fatigued, but with a joyful wind.-- London papers I continued to gain, and was just con­ sidering whether I would knock him down with my stick or lay hands on him, when, turning his head, he sud­ denly discharged first one pistol-shot and then another; but, firing over his shoulder, missed me. I was even already lifting my stick, and would have returned his compliment unless he had "winged" me with a further use of his revolver, when at once the gray ice over which we had been gliding disap­ peared, Mid I seemed to be skating on water. It was dead black ice. An air hole! An instantaneous horrid thrill of fright shot through me. My speed was too great to turn aside, but with an instinctive impulse I shut my eyes and sprang desperately up from the ioe with both feet. The tremendous speed of my former motion and the effect of that terrific- leap swung me over ten feet of black, open water, and threw me with a severe fall fiat upon the thin but tough black ice beyond. As I leaped I heard a cry-- the crackling of broken ice--a plunge-- Tupling had drives blindly into the Cromwell and the Bey.' There is no doubt but that Oliver Cromwell, the protector, resided for a time in Glasgow, about the year 1658. He had his dwelling in "Silvercraigs street," on the east side of Saltmarket, opposite the Bridgegate. A number of strange stories lingered in the last cen­ tury and the beginning of the present, as to the sayings and doings of Oliver. It wras said that he was in frequent com­ munication with one of the city clergy­ men, and had many a tough argument as to the respective advantages and merits of Presbyterianism contrasted with independency, or, as they were at the time called, separate sectaries. The clergyman who liad the fortitude to meet the protector in dispute was said to be Mr. Patrick Gillespie, then minis­ ter of the Outer High lark. The pro­ tector maintained that under the system then prevailing in Scotland the lower classes were left ignorant of scripture truth. To test the accuracy of this, one day the protector and his minister­ ial friend took their position in the Old Saracen Inn, at the east end of Gallow- gate. It was agreed that one of the many lads who drove little c wts laden with coals for the supply of the citizens from the coal-fields of Monklands should be called in unprepared, and that the protector should put any ques­ tion to the carter lad from the scrip­ tures. The. lad was brought in, and the question put was, "Tell me who was the father of Adam?" Promptly the carter referred to the third chapter of Luke's gospel, and, beginning at the twenty-tliird verse, he proceeded, "From the son of Joseph, which was the son of Heli," up each successive link until he reached the climax at the thirty-eighth verse, "which was the son of Enos, which was the son of Seth, • which was the son of Adam, which was the Son of God." Oliver was struck at the accurate memory of the lad, and re­ warding him with a golden piece, was begged to become in his turn the inter­ rogated, and was asked: "Since I have thus answered your questions, would you be pleased to answer mine. It is one not so ancient; it is only, tell me who was my father ?" The protector was somewhat overcome with ire, which was still intensified when on inquiry at mine host at the Saracen's head he was informed that the carter was a found- land from the Monklands, and that his parentage was hid under a veil of im­ penetrable obscurity.--Glasgow Her- msL Seath American Woods. South America is rich in woods for engineering purposes. The yandubay is exceedingly hard and durable; the couroupay is also very hard and rich in tannin. The quebracho is, however, more interesting than any, and grows abundantly in tb6 forests of La Plata and Brazil. It resembles oak in the trunk, and is used for railway sleepers, telegraph poles, piles, and so on. It is heavier than water, its specific gravity varying between 1.203 to 1,338. The color at first is reddish, like mahogany, but grows dark«v with time. Being rich in tannin it is employed for tan­ ning leather in Brazil, and has recently been introduced for that purpose into France. A mixture of one-third of powdered quebracho and two-thirds of ordinary tan gives good results. AN old lady in Gainesville, Ga., has a colored Easter-egg which she prepared on am Easter day fifty-two years ago. SUGGESTIONS Of TALCS. Fouai oilcloth with kerosene. ~ WASH matting with salted water. CMS A* grained wood with eold lik CHARCOAL in the oellar sweetens the whole house. SALT fish are quickest and best fresh­ ened by soaking in sour milk. LOBSTERS boiled and served on toast makes a dainty dish for a lunch or tea. COLD rain water and soap will remove machine grease from washable fabrics. A STICK of hard wood, made in the' shape of a tiny oar, is the most con­ venient thing to stir cake with. Any man or boy can easily make one. To CLEAN carpet rugs take Indian meal and sprinkle over them. Let it remain for a short time and then sweep off, and your rugs will look as bright as new. To PREVENT the dullness and dingi- ness incident to the wear of oil-cloth, rub it over with a piece of flannel moistened with kerosene, after washing the oil-cloth in clean water. AN excellent cement for mending ohina is formed by stirring into a thick solution of gum arabic sufficient plaster of paris to make a thick paste. Apply with a brush to the fractured edges and press them together. In three days the article will be ready for UBe. THE proper arrangement of flowers may be stated m a few words: Never put more than three varieties or colors in the same vase or bouquet, and let those colors be such as perfectly har­ monize. Arrange the flowers so that each one can be seen entire. In all your arrangements, imitate hature in hers. THE staining of bricks red is effected by melting one ounce of glue in a gallon of water, then adding a piece of alum as large as an egg, one-half pound of Venetian red, and one pound of Span­ ish brown; redness or darkness is increased by using more red or brown. For coloring black, heat the bricks and dip in fluid asphaltum or in a hot mix­ ture of linseed oil and asphalt. BEFORE paint or calcimine is applied to walls, every crevice should be filled with plaster or cement. For the calci­ mine, put a quarter of a pound of white glue in cold water over night, and heat gradually in the morning until disr solved. Mix eight pounds of whiting with hot water, add the dissolved glue, and stir together, adding warm water until about the consistency of thick cream. Use a calcimine brush, and finish as you go along. If skim milk is used instead of water, the glue may be omitted. PERSONS traveling by railway are subject to continued annoyance from the flying cinders. On getting into the eye they are not only painful for the moment, but are often the cause of long suffering that ends in total loss of sight. A very simple and effective cure is within the reach of every one, and would prevent much suffering and ex­ pense were it generally known. It is simply one or two grains of flaxseed. These may be placed in the eye without injury .or pain to that delicate organ, and shortly they begin to swell and dis­ solve a glutinous substance that covers the ball of the eye, enveloping any foreign substance that may be in it. The irritation of cutting the membrane is thus prevented and the annoyance may soon be washed out. A dozen of these grains stowed away in the vest pocket may prove of great value in an emergency. Oriental Wit. A young man going on a journey, en­ trusted a hundred denars to an old man; when he came back the old man denied having had any money deposited with him, and he was had up before the Kazee. "Where were you, young man, when you delivered this money?" "Under a tree." "Take my ring and summon that tree," said the Judge. "Go, young man, and tell the tree to come hither, and the tree will obey you when you show it my seal." The young man went in wonder. After he had been gone some time, the Kazee said to the old man: "He is long--do you think he has got there yet?" "No," said the old man, "it is at some distance; he has not got there yet." "How knowest thou, old man," cried the Kazee, "where that tree is ?" The young man returned and said the tree would not come. "He has has been here, young man, and given his evidence--the money is thine." One ef the Wonders of California. Recently in San Francisco when the chorus for the Thomas concerts asked for tickets for themselves and for escorts for the ladies on nights they were not to sing, Mr. Thomas replied, "No." "Very well," said the chorus, go4d- naturedly. "Tickets without escorts, then?" "No," replied Mr. Thomas. "All right," the chorus said. "We will sit up in our chorus seats as usual the nights we don't sing." "No," replied the only Thomas, for the third time; "when you don't sing you can pay for tickets like anyone else." "In that case," the chorus replied, "it is still very well--we won't come at all --not even to sing." This Pacific-coast way of looking at affairs speedily effected a compromise, and during the festival, in smiling tri­ umphant tiers, the chorus will sit up aloft on the nights it does not sing, and Mr. Thomas has made note of tlie in­ cident as one of the wonders of Califor­ nia.--San Francisco Call. B0H0 The Gall a Masher Had. A certain youth having requested an introduction to a pretty chorus girl, the matter was quietly referred to her husband, who was in the company. He arranged to have the masher brought behind the scenes and presented while he stood by, and the rest of the com­ pany lurked about among the piles of scenery to watch the iun. The intro­ duction took place and an invitation to supper was offered. As her husband's eye was upon her, the lady could only remark that she thought "this gentle- man, her husband, might object." Everyl)ody expected to see the masher faint with confusion, but he didn't seem at all disturbed. He merely said: "Ah, well, it would be too bad to annoy him! Let it go till some time when you're in town without him." Then, turning to the husband, he said, in a low but distinct tone: "Poor fellow, I pity you! It must be so unplesant to feel that your wife regards you as an in­ cumbrance which prevents her having j a good time." He waiked off, leaving I them aghast at his impudence.--Bo»- im^otu The llilpwlug axt|cle from the Dtmocrmt and of Rochester, N. Y., is of so striking a astore and wnanatet from to re- llable a source, that it is herewith repub­ lished entile. In addition to the valuable matter It contains, it trill be found exceed­ ingly Interesting': > To the Editor of the Democrat and Chronicle: SIB: My motives for the publication of the most unusual statements which follow, are, first, gratitude for the faet that I have been raved from a moat horrible death, and, secondly, a desire to warm all who mad this statement against some of the most decept­ ive Influences by which they have ever been surrounded. It is a fact that to-day thousands of people are within a foot of the grave and ihey do not know it To tell howl was caught away from just this posi­ tion and to warn others against nenriug it, are my objects In this communication. June, ls81,1 lay at my citv surrounded by my friends,and watting for death. Heaven only knows the Sgoay I then endured, for words can never describe it. And yet, if a few year* previous, any one had told me that I was to be brought so low. and by so terrible a disease, I should have scoffed at the idea. I had always been uncommonly strong and healthy, had weighed over 200 pounds and hardly knew, in my own experience, what pain or sickness were. Very many people who will read this statement realize ai times that they are unusually tired and cannot ac­ count for it. They fed dull and indefinite pains in various parte of the body and do not understand it Or they are exceedingly hungry one day and entirely without appe­ tite the next. This was iugc the way 1 felt when the relentless malady which had fas­ tened Itself upon me first began Still I thought it was nothing; that probably I had taken a cold which would soon pass away. Shortly after this I noticed a heavy, ana at times a neuralgic pain in my head, but as it would come one day and be gone the next, I paid but little attention to it However, my Etomaeh was out of order and my food often failed to digest, causing at times great In­ convenience, Yet I had no idea, even as a physician, that these things meant anything serious or that a monstrous disease was be­ coming fixed upon me Candidly, I thought Iwas suffering from malaria, and so doc­ tored myself accordingly. But I got no better. 1 next noticed a peculiar color and odor about the fluids I was passing--also that there were large quantities one day and very tittle the next, and that a per­ sistent Roth and scum appeared upon the surface, and a sediment settled in the bot­ tom And yet I did not realise my danger, for, indeed, seeing these symptoms continu­ ally, I finally became accustomed to them, and my suspicion was wholly disarmed by the fact that I had no pain in the affected organs or in their vicinity. Why I should have been so blind I cannot .understand There is a terrible future for all physical neglect, and impending danger always brings a person to bis senses, even though it may then be too late. I realized, at last, my critical condition and aroused myself to overcome it. And, oh! how hard I tried! I consulted the best medical skill in the land I visited all the prominent mineral springs in America and traveled from Maine to Cali­ fornia. Still I grew worse. Mo two physi­ cians agreed as to my malady. One said I was troubled with spinal irritation; another, nervous prostration; another malaria; an­ other, dyspepsia; another, heart disease; an­ other, general debility; another, congestion of the base of the brain; and so on through a long list ot common diseases, the symptom* of all of which I really had In this way sev­ eral years passed, during all of which time I was steadily growing worse. My condition had really become pitiable Tlie slight symptoms I at at first experienced were developed Into terrible and constant disorders--the little twigs of pain had grown to oaks of agony. My weight had been reduced from 207 to lW pounds My life was a torture to myself and friends. I could retain no food upon my stomach, and lived wholly by injections, I was a living mas of pain. My pulse was uncontrollable In my agony I frequently fell upon the floor, convulsively clutched the carpet, and prayed for death. Morphine had little or no effect in deadening the pain. For six days and nights I had the death-pre­ monitory hiccoughs constantly. My urine was filled with tube casts and albumen. I was struggling with Bright's Disease of the kidnevs In its last stages While sufferllur thus.l received a call from my pastor, the Rev. Dt Koota, rector of St Paul's church, of this city. I felt that it was our last interview, but in the course of con­ versation he mentioned a remedy of which I had heard much but had never used Dr. Foote detailed to me the many remarkable cures which had come under his observation, by means of this remedy, and urged me to try it As a practicing physician and a graduate of the schools, I cherished the prejudice both natural and common with all regular practitioners, and derided the idea of any medioine outside the regul channels being the least beneficial So so­ licitous, however, was Dr. Foote, that finally promised I would waive mv prejudice and try the remedy he so highly recom­ mended. I began its use on the 1st day of June and took it according to directions. At first it sickened me; but this I thought was a good sign for me in my debilitated condi­ tion. I continued to take it; the sickening sen­ sation departed and I was able to retain food upon my stomach. In a few days I noticed a decided change for the better as also did my wife and friends. My hiccoughs ceased and 1 experienced less pain than formerly. I was so rejoiced at this improved condition that, upon what I had believed but a few days before was my dying bed, I vowed, in the presence of my family and friends, should I recover I would both publicly and privately make known this remedy for the good of humanity, wherever and whenever 1 also determined • Hew te Sleep. Clara Frances tells us in the Prairie Farmer "How to Sleep.* Weave much obliged to Clara, ana desire to give greatergrablicitj total fimUms. "The true way to get a good nightls sleep one that will refresh and invigo­ rates--is to go to bed right." Certainly; one should not get left in going to bed, especially if in a country hotel where the beds hold only four each. He might have to sleep on the floor. Be sure you're right, then go to bed. "The time should suit circumstances, but as a rule it Bhould be regular, and not late." This is very true. It is very bad to go to bed at II or 12 o'clock. Go to bed at a much earlier hour, say 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning, which is certainly early enough in the day to go to bed. "The head alon^ should rest upon the pillow--the chief use of the pillow be­ ing to hold the head and neck straight with the body, as in standing." Quite true, Clara. Some people hare a pernicious habit of using their pillows for foot-rests. Small pillows sometimes get into the ear, or are sometimes worn on the chest by consumptive females, but this is only by day. At night the head only should rest on the pillow. "Preliminary to sound and healthy sleep is a proper position in bed. Many folks lie in a wrong posture." The head of the bed should be due ibesfc'Mr The have the tie "DoW* low me a JMT most little" in the bot- that you eould Clan aaswored, with safie, "Tea, Fred, a very Gam's OA. -- W. H. urn says: "Brown's Iron Bitters Is a good medians and many are uMngit in this place." A em. has been arrested while disguised > an old woman The old woman disguised as a girl is still at large. WunuoBO, & C.--Dr J. X. Klein says: "Brown's Iron Bitters have given universal satisfaction." fiwm ig one of the hardest-worked tatit- nees capitals in the country. « GOOD health is the greatest of fortunes; no remedy has so often restored this prize to the suffering as Hood's Sarsaparilla. Try it Dozs a man make a rye faoe when he asks if it is good for a drink? A Bonanza far Travelers. When in Chicago, stop at the Gault House, • " " Clir - opportunity. rive a course of lectures in the f' had an that I would g: Corinthian Academy of Music in this city, stating in full the symptoms and almost hopelessness of my disease and the remark­ able means by which I have been saved My improvement was constant from that time, and in less than three months I had gained twenty-six pounds in flesh, became entirely free from pain and I believe I owe my lite and present condition wholly to Warner's SafeCure, the remedy which I used. Since my recovery, I have thoroughly re­ investigated the subject of kidney difficulties and Bright's disease, and the truths devel­ oped are astounding. 1 therefore tt ite de­ liberately, and as a physician, that 1 believe more than one-balf the deaths which occur in America are caused by Bright's disease of the kidneys This may round like a ra«h statement, but I am prepared to fully verify it Bright's disease has no distinctive symp­ toms of its own, (indeed it often develops without any pain whatever in the kidneys or their vicinity), but has the symptoms of n^rly every'other known complaint Hun- dSds of people die daily, whose burials are authorized by a physician's certificate of "Heart Disease," -Apoplexy." ^Paralysis," "Spinal Complaint," "Rhematism," ^Pneu­ monia," ana other common diseases, when in reality it was Brights disease of the kidneys. Few physicians, and fewer people^ realize tue extent of this disease or it? dangerous and insidious nature. It steals into the system like a thief, manifests its presence by the commonest symptoms, and fastens itself upon the constitution before the victim is aware. It is nearly as hereditary as con­ sumption, quite as common and fully as fa­ tal. Entire lamilies, inheriting lib from their ancestors, have died, and yet none of the number knew or realised the mysterious power which was removing them. In-.tead of common symptoms it often shown none whatever, but brings death suddenly, and a« such is usually supposed to be heart dis­ ease. As one who ha4 suffered, and knows by bitter experience what he says, I implore every one who reads these words not to neglect the flight est symptom of kidney difficulty. Certain agony and possible death will t® the sure result of such neglect, and no one can afford to hazard such chances. I am aware that such an unqualified state­ ment as this, coming from me, known as I am, throughout the entire land as a prac- tioner and lecturer, will arouse the surprise and possible animosity of the medical pro­ fession and astonish all with whom I am ac­ quainted, but I make the foregolnar state­ ments, based upon fact? upon which I am prepared to • . oduce, and truths which I can substantiate'to the letter. The welfare of those who may possibly be sufferers such as Iwas, is an ample inducement for me to take the step I have, and if I can success­ fully warn others from the dangerous path in which I once walked, I am tolling to en­ dure all professional and j>ersonal oonee- north, so that if anybody should stoop T to kiss von, Clara, the el-liptiol' currents shall run pareilel with the highly magnetic assault and battery To sprawl all over the bed is, as you suggest, a despicable thing in a man or wo\nan. "Some will curl up like an armadillo, with knees and chin in close proximity. Still others will lie flat upon their backs, with mouth wide open. This last is not only unhealthy, but dangerous-- especially in fly-time." You may think this is funny, Clara, but you shouldn't thus make light of the infirmities of human nature. You have also failed to mention many im­ portant things, such as looking under the bed for burglars. What woman could sleep unless she had first poked around to see if she couldn't find a man somewhere ? Then, as to snoring and kicking off covers, and as to cold feet-- oh, girl, you haven't done the subject half justice.--Minneapolis Spectator, •embers of Parliament, There are seven peeresses in their own right entitled to seats in the Eng­ lish House of Peers. These are the Baroness Emma Harriet Tyrwhitt; the Baroness Augusta Mary Elizabeth Cavendish-Bentwick; the Baroness An­ gela Oeorgiana Burdett-Coutts; the Countess Anna S. Leveson-Gower (Duchess of Sutherland); the Baroness Mary Elisabeth Boscawan; the Baroness Susan North; the Baroness C. E. H. D. Willoughby. Besides the ladies the House of Peers contains in all 509 mem bers, viz.: Six Princes of the blood 2 Archbishops, 20 Dukee^ 18 Marquises 114 Earls, 26 Viscounts, 24 Bishops 225 Barons, 16 Scottish Representative Peers, elected for each parliament, 28 Irish Representative Peers, elected for life. There are also ten minor peers who will be entitled to seats when they attain their majority. The House of Commons is composed of 639 members of which 489 are representatives of counties, universities and towns in England and Wales: 60 ar e Scottish and 103 Irish Representatives. The title of honorable is given t&*members of the House. Some of them have titles in their own right, as Lord Eleho Earl Bective, Viscount Oalway, Right Honorable Sir Michael Hicks-JBeaoh and so on. A Faulty Definition. "I am an agnostic," remarked a young man in swelling accents. "And an agnostic is what?" inquired an elderly gentleman. "An agnostic," replied the fresh youth in a manner expressive of his pity for his interlocutor's ignorance, "an agnostic is a fellow, you know, who isn't sure of anything." "I see," re­ plied the old gentleman; "but how does it happen that you are sure you are agnostic?"--.Bo#tow Transcript. Silent Be; It Was the Bootjack. A Newport man brought home a fine big cat. He was very tame and made himself at home by lying stretched out in front of the fire until the old man went for the bootjack to pull off his boots, when all at once he took a fit and sprang around the room and at the windows in such a wild way that they had to open the door and let him out. He had seen bootjacks before. I LOOK upon indolence as a sort of suicide; for the man is efficiently de­ stroyed, though the appetite of the brute may survive.--Chesterfield. Dyspepsia. Dyspepsia and sick headache do not re­ turn to those who have used Great German Hop Bitten. Sold by all druggist* "IN case I am recalled," announced a voung vocalist to a Western audience, "1 shall sing 'My Grandfather's Clock.'" She was not recalled A Happy Wife. "My dear husband, 1 never slept so soundly as I do now, after using German Hop Bit­ ten. " Sold by all druggists THS old paw, "line words butter no pars­ nips," is now rendered, "elegant diction ole­ omargarines no pastinaca edulia " "You have lovely teeth, EtheL" "Yes, George," she fondly lisped, "they were a present from Aunt Grace." quencea J.R 1LD. VEBY few people nowadays suffer from suggestion of the brain.--Mrg. Partington. Nor a drink, not sold in a bar-room, but a reliable, non-alcoholic tonic medioine, useful corner Madison and Clinton streets. The Gault has been rebuilt, refurnished, and en­ larged, to accommodate 300 people. It con­ tains every improvement of the modern hotel and is located in the heart ot the wholesale and manufacturing district Check jotur bapja^e to the ̂Gault Terms, *2 and #£50. Hoyt, Proprietor. KIVK KKASON8 Why the public preference is, and (hoold be. given to Hood's Sarsaparilla. Because the superior strength of well-chosen In­ gredients in a combination peculiar to ltaelf and po»- seased by no other preparation, with the skilled phar­ macy used in its manufacture, make Hood's Sampa- rilla the best medicine in the market for purifying the blood. Because Hood's Sarsaparilla has, in numerous well-known and verified instance*, eradicated Scrofu­ la, cleansed the blood of Humors, and restored weak­ ened invalids to health, in which condiUon they r*» main. Because Hood's Sarsaparilla haa really and truly cured cases of Dyspepsia, long standing and chronic, of Indigestion, of General Debility, of Salt Rheum, Catarrh and all Humors which riot in the blood tad break the skin in festers, pustules, pimples and bolls. Because Hood'* Sarsaparilla haa been found to be the best medicine for ailments produced by the sea- eon or climate, wonderfully sharpening the appetite and markedly toning up the system against debility and nervousness. Because Hood's Saroaparilla is everybody's medi­ cine. No one is so poor that he cannot pay $1 for a bottle of Hood's t-iarfmpanlla--100 doses--or 1 cent each dose; and none are BO rich and lofty as to be beyond its benefit. Hood's SarsaparUla, six for $5. Prepared only by tecaries, Lowell, Itaas. -- : Another Life Haved. J.C.Gray,of Dadeville, Ala., writes us: 1 have been using your Dr. Wm. Hall'rBalM'Ui ter the Lung*, and I can say, of a truth, it is far superior to any other Lung preparation in the world. 'My mother was confined to her bed four weeks with a cough, and had every attention by as good physicians as there are in the country, and they all failed to effect a cure; but when I got one bottle of your Or. Wm. Hall's Balsam for the Lungs, die began to m«nd right away. I can say in truth, that it was the means of saving her life. I knew of five cases that Dr. Wm. Haii'a v, ,c cured, and my it better now than aha has been before for twenty years.* Sold br druggists. $l:si C. I. HOOD 4 CO., apothe Personal!--To Men Only! THIS" VOI/TAIO Baur Co., Marshall. Mich., will send Dr. Dye's Celebrated Electro- Voltaic Beits and Electric Appliances on trial for thirty days to men (young or old) who are afflicted with nervous debiHty, lost vi­ tality and kindred troubles, guaranteeing speedy and complete restoration of health and manly vigor. Address as above N. B.-- No risk is incurred, as thirty days' trial is al­ lowed. CAKBOUNE, a natural hair restorer and dressing, as now improved and perfected, is pronounced by competent authority to be the best article ever invented to restore the vitality of youth to diseased and faded hair. Try it Sold by all druggisfcM PUBS God-liver Oil, made from selected livers on the sea-shore, by Cimu ̂HAEAKP ft Co., New York. It is absolutely pure and sweet Patients who have onoe taken it prefer it to all others. Physicians have de­ cided it superior to any of the other oils in STICKING, irritation. Inflammation, all Sidney and Urinary Complaints, cured by "Buchu- Paiba." %L iu. our lad; friends will be delighted to hear that! LGragin&Go.,116&4thst,Phila. are giving first-class Piano Sheet Music, vocal andlnstrumental, gratis. (No advertising on it) Write for catalogue. Mention this pap*r THAT husband of mine is three times the man he was before he began using Wells' Health Renewer. CRAPPBD Hands, Faoe, Pimples, a: Skin, cured by using JmnnatTAB SOAP, by GASWSU., HAZABD & Co.. New York. WEXR' "ROUGH ON CORNS."--15C. Ask for ft. Complete, permanent cure. Corns, warts,bunlons. LADIKS A children's boots A shoes can't run over if Lyon's Patent Heel Btiffeners axe used. DON'T die In the house. "Rough on Rata." Clears out rats, mioe, flies, roaches, bed-bnga. 16c. GOOD NKWS FROM TEXAS. Mr. THOMAS A. HowABD.of Honey Orove, Fannia county, Texas, under date of April 5, USt, writes aa follows: "I have been suffering during several yean from severe illnaas, and a general breaking down of my physical system, and have tried the treatment and prescriptions of many doctors far and near, and trav­ eled to the Hot Springs and othas mineral springe famous for their remedial qualities, drinking the waters and bathing systematically in their healing depths, but all to no avail, as I steadily failed in health; and although informed by my physicians that my ailments and weaknesses were the result of kidney disease ef a dangerous character, they eould give me nothing to can me. Daring the nest two yean my sufferings at Umes were dreadful, andl had the most indescribable pains in the regions about the kidneys, the paroxysms of which were so severe as to render it impossible for mo to sleep. While in tide deplorable and discouraged condition I waa per­ suaded to try Hunt's Remedy, aad after using teas than half a bottle my great suSeringa aad paroxysms of pala wete entirely relieved, sad X eeaMelsep bet­ ter and longer than I had in two years before, and al­ though I am now on my third bottle only, my im­ provement is very remarkable, Mid I regret that I did not know of the wonderful curative powers of Hunt's Remedy before, as it would have saved me yean of suffering, I heartily recommend it to all afflicted with any kidney disease or disease of the nxiUMKtar- "HIT MY CASE EXACTLY.** Please allow me to speak in the highest terms of "Hunt's Remedy," for it hit my oase exactly. I had kidney and urinary trouble pretty bad. I was recom­ mended Hunt's Remedy. I took one teaspoonful as directed. I felt a decided change at the ftrot dose. I took to*o bottles, and have felt like a new man ever since. Please receive the sincere thanks of myself for the benefits which I sought vainly for and found only In Hunt's Remedy. I will cheerfully give this same opinion of Hunt's Remedy to any aae who wishes it, by addressing ROBERT D. ARCHER, 811 Unnard street, Philadelphia. March U, im. *rfn:Rs No time should be lost if the stomach, liver aad bowels are affected to adopt the sure remedy. Hoe- otter's Stomach Bitters. Diseases of the organs named beget others far more serious, and a delay is therefore hazardous. Dyspepsia, liver complaint, chills and fever, etfly rheumatic twinges, kidney weakness, bring serious bodily trouble if trifled with. Lose no time in usin£ this effective and safe medi­ cine. For sale by all Druggists and Dealers generally. fCC a week in your own town. Terms and |5 outfit #00 free. Addreas H. HAUJCTT a Co., Portland, He. LOVELY COR0PLEXION8 POSSIBLE TO ALL blemish, overcomes Redness, Freckles, Sallowness, Rough­ ness, Tan, Eruptions ana Blotches, and removes all evi­ dences of heat and excite­ ment. The Magnolia Balm imparts the most delicate and natural complexional tints-- no detection Deing possible to the closest observation. Under these circumstances a faulty Complexion is litge short of a crime. Magnolia Balm sold everywhere. Costs only 75 cents, with foil di- Keiralgia, Rhms^ta, ' Scalds. Catt vwiwy vwvv The PArn KiLiiR will be Cm ready and able to relieve yoetr. and at a very instgnifictmeosl Colds, Cnm ni Duma* i Bnar _ fail to given as a dreaeh. a --itof molasses and water. Hie ' livery stabies aad bona Quickly. SSSSltffiSMSK&RKSMSr «*- T%%^S.'!^SNS£US?8t- YoungMenir Circulars free. TALciruiu *OL PATENTS lata, P.O. lOfMhftn aailj^aMa|HjiipiE| BR.HRII'S ELECTIM MLT f - T < » f I |BLA8T!0 TRUSS EDUCATIONAL. 1883. Thf Sf tlM MMi CONSERVATORY of MUSIO Beautifully IUastratad.M paxes. BEHTrRZE to- yourse l f a a d m n a t c a l M e a d s . S e n d n a m e s a a d a M m a e a . . - - t to K. TOUSJKK. PraakVn Rq.. Boston. V»<s. %] n* tmt aff ufaos MM. t«ssi> «ii Art SeUol. sad BOMK/or yuaf fsrfiw. <a ttr «--nto. AN AGRICULTURAL LIBRARY! Of Fresh, Pract the subject of tl. Elaborately JUastmted Throe Iaap>rtal Octavo _ ami substantially boand ia Ftafl Cloth and . Morocco, er aae stout voluaae in I.Bather, coa- taminjr One Thousand One Haafcwt PssMe Column pages. tMd only hf ntMHhw. ajarfBr** sell. Intelligent either Ladles or Oeatlemaa, can a mpfoymeat by addressing the cuts and bl« employment to at terms and information. BAKU, MeNAlXY * CO., Cbkaco, 111. for W i # Ml : . J umcs.BALSAM C.N. U. NO. \KrHKN WRITING TO iir , 1 < A & .. -,j "V