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r <• ,.yip» aqr boy «t *01 W* WAMLACU Un£Mt(niI«f«MLI 'Wit l»te ts Ahrthea's tint StoOi *nd *U t&e pUta «M> torn biesd; his stwairU ww weB-niirh IfXtepHril the tender e*t cm. kmiht Re ut, with UnaMnl imu, nor bowed he tawar.1 the ken from dark and angrr iUm, table seemed a royal feast, had touched the tempting rcao, and, lsaning on hia rod, •aid, "dost thoa not bow In rot tmx, doet thou not worship, ninwerod, "Way." The Patriarob sadly nH: httt my pity. Go! e.%t not mv brea&" is that wild and stormy night. Ueroe winds raged and darker grew the ikgr; Bat all M-e taat waa AIM with wondrous light, Aid Abrahua know the Lord his Ood was "Wbmfstbat aged man?" thePressnoesaid, "That asked tor shelter from the driving blast? Wbe made thee master of thy Master's bread? What hadst thon the waaderer forth to "Passive at, Lord," the Patriarch answer mads. With downcast look,with bowel aad tr ambling kin>^ "Ah, me! the stranger might with me b»vj staid; Bat, oh, my Ood, he woold not worship Thee!" TVe born* him long," Ood said, "and still I I wait: Oinldst thoa not lodge him one night in thy , gator .J!® *#£&•» j°b -ess* ho, loan in ham * lets taOE about i\ butksap the money--he asked ma if I ooaid take oue of hoKCi *1 nU yes, for i use 1 to battff toned livfay staMes & Often would Mp. "LAM & drire barms, 1M told m» ba • vrodCk . A wou'd (ivt You bet 1 took W--- Jv ji Ham Twain Story. Upon a certain occasion, nine jears ago, I had said, with strong feeling, "l£ ever I see St. Louis again, I will oat Mr. Brown, the great grain rchant, and ask of him the privilege of shaking him bj the hand." The ocoasion and the circumstanoes were as follows: A friend of mine, a clergyman, came one evening and said: "I have a most remarkable letter here which I want to read to you if I can do it without breaking down, I most preface it with some explanations, however. The letter is written by an ex-thief and ex-vagabond of the lowest 4)rigin and basest rearing, a man all stained with crime and steeped in ig norance; but, thank God, with a mine of pure gold hidden away in him, as ri shall see. His letter is written to burglar named Williams, who is •erring a nine-year ter ai in a certain State prison lor burglary. Williams was a particularly-daring burglar, and idled that trade during a number of years; but he was caught at last and Jailed to await trial in a town where he had broken into a house at night, pistol in hand, and forced the owner to hand over to him $8,000 in Government bonds. Williams was not a common •Ott of person, by any means; he was a graduate of» Harvard College, and came of good New England stock. His lather was a clergyman. While lying in iai} his health began to foil, and he was threatened with consumption. This tail, together with the opportunity for reflection afforded by solitary confine­ ment, had itq effect--its natural effect. He fall into serious thought; his early training asserted itself with power and wrought with strong influence upon his mind and heart. He yat his old life behind nun; and became an earnest Christian. Some ladies in the town beSra of this, visited him, and by their SfHmuraging words supposed him in his good resolutions and strengthened him to continue in his new life. The triall ended in his conviction and sen­ tence to the State prison for the term of nine years, as I have before said. In the prison he became acquainted with the poor wretch referred to in the be­ ginning of my talk, Jack Hunt, the writer of the letter which I am going to read. You will see that the acquaint­ anceship bore fruit for hunt. When Hunt? time was out he wandered to St. LouSy and from that place he wrote his letter to Williams. The letter got no further than the office of the Prison Warden, of course; prisoners are not often allowed to receive letters from outside,. The prison authorities read this letter, but did not destroy it. They had not tfce heart to do it. They read it to adforal persons, and eventually it fell iafapthe hands of those ladies of #hom I spoke & while ago. The other day I came across an old friend of mine --• clergyman--who had seen thi* let­ ter, and waa full of it The more re- memberance of it so moved him that he oonld not tal^of it without his voice breaking. He promised to get a copy of it for me; and here it is--an exact copy, wiUf all the imperfections of the original'-preserved. It has many slang expression? in it--thieves' argot--but their meaning has been interlined, in parentheses, by the prison authorities: , w V"M' Sr. Louis, June 9, lfca » "--•- friend Charlie if i may ««ii you *°: * Ba «re aarpriaod to get a letter nom me, bat I hope you won't be •»*< at wr wrisinguo you. 1 wait to tall you my tfcanks for the way you talked to me whin i F*" irJaoa--tt has led ma to try and be a 1 f"" you thought idid not A at the lint go oS I a*% butinoed you waa a man who bad rerk with big men A want no wanted a man for me #18 a month A bord ma that chanoe at onoo, that nite in my little room over th> stable I aat a Ion; time think in* over my past 11'e A of what hil just happened At just got down on my noes and tha iked the Lord for the job A to help me to square it, A to bless you for pa.ting ma up to It, A the next motn'jyr 1 done it again A got me come n w t̂ gs (clothes) A a blb'e tor imade up my mind aftar what the Lord had dona for me 1 would read the bible every ntse A morning, A ask him to keep an eye on me. When i had been mere about a week Mr. Brown (that's bis name, came into my room one nice A saw me reading the bible--he aaked m ; if 1 was a Christian A i told him no--he asked me how it was i read the bible instead of pap 3rd A books--Well Charlie i thought i had be't?r Mn% Iratl don good w< and want gastng A all the boys •*1 Osad to thhk at nita what you raid, A r5 months before > want no good, _ . as up you to'.d metfi would slake the cross (quit steaH ng) Eve him a square deal in tee start, so i told m all about mv being in prison A abous you, A how i had almost donejgivo up look­ ing for work A how the Lord got me the job when I askei him ; A the only way i had to pay him back wa* to read the bible A square it, A i asked him to giv.i me a chance for a mjntha --he talked to me like a faiher for a long time, it told me i cou d stay A then i feltoetter than ever i had done in my life, for i bad given Mr. Brown a fair alart with ma A now i didn t fear no one giving me a back cap (exposing his past life) & running me off the job--the next morning he called me int > the Jjbrary A gave me an­ other square talk, A advised me to study some every day, A he wo a id help me one or " hour i every nite, A he gave ma a Arlthme- itio, a s-palling book, a Geography A a writ- in < book, A he hers me every ni^ht--he lets . me come into the house to" prayers every morning, A got me put; in a bible class m the Sunday School whicli I likes very much for it helps me to under tand my bible better. Now, Charlie the 3 mon hs on the square are up ~J months ago, A as you said, it u the best job i ever did in my life. A i commenced anodUer of ihe sum sort right away, only it is to God helping me to last a lifetime Chariie--i wrote this letter to tetl you I do think God has for jiven my sins A hard your prayers, for j ou told me you should pray rVr me--i no i love to read his word A tell him all my troub e; A he helpi me i know lor i hare plenty of chances to steal but i don't feel to as i once did A LOW i take more pleasure ingoing to church, than to the theater A tha ̂ wasn't BO ones--our min­ ister and otiers otten talk wiih me, A a monih ago they wanted ma to join the church, but I said no, not now, i might I e mistaken in my feel­ ings, i will wait^awhile, but- now I feel that God has called m J A on the first Sunday in July i will join the church--dear friend i wish i could write to you as i feel, but i«?ant do it yet--you no i learned t > read and write while in prisons A i aint got well enough along to write as I would talk; i no 1 aint spelled all the words rite in this A lots of other mistakes but you will excuse ic i no, i was brought up in a poor-house until i run away, A that i never new who my father and mother was A i dont no my rite name, A 1 hope you wont be mad at me, but i have as much rite to one name as another A i have taken your name, for you wont use it when you get out i no, A you are the 1 think moA of in the world; so i hope you wont be mad--I am doing well, i put 910 a month in bani with $25 of the --if you ever want any or all of it let me know, A it is yours, i wish you would let m 3 send you some now. I send you with t jis a receipt for a year of Littei living Agj, i didn't know what you would like & i told Mr Brown A h^ siid he thought you would like it --i wish i was nere so I could send you chuck (refreshments) on holidays; it would spoil this weather from here, but i will send you a box next thanksgiving any way--next week Mr. Brown take.* me into his store M lite porter A will advance me as soon aa i know a little more--he keeps a big granary store, wholesale--I forgot to tea you of my mission school, Sunday school class--the school is ia the Sunday afternoon, i went out two sun lay afternoon?, ana picked up seven kids (litt e boys) A got them to come in. two of themnew a*much as I did A i had them put in a class where they could learn something, i dont no much myself, bat as these kids cant real i get on nicely with them, i make sure of them by going alter them every Sunday W hoar before so'aool time, I alio got 4 girls to oome. Tell Mack and Harry about me, if they will oome out here when their time ij up 1 will get them jobs at once, i hops you will excuse this loag letter A all mint iKre, j wish i could see you for i cant write as i would talk--i hope the warm weather is do­ ing your lungs good--i was afra d when you was bleeding you would die--give my re­ spects to aa the boys an i te'l them how i am doing--i a n doing well and every one here treats me as kind as they can--Mr. Brown is going to write to you sometime--i hope some day you will write to me, thia letter is from your very true friend C W who you know as Jack Hunt I send you Mr. Brown's card Send my letter to mm Here was true eloquence; irresistible eloquenca; and without a single grace or ornament to help it out. I have sel­ dom been BO deeply stirred by any piece of writing. The reader of it halt­ ed, all the way through, on a lame and broken voice ;'yet he had tried to forti­ fy his feelings by several private read­ ings of the letter before venturing into company with it. He was practicing upon me to see if there was any hope of his being able to read the document to his prayer-meeting with Anything like a deoent command over his feelings. The result was not promising. However, he determined to risk it; and did. He got through tolerably well: but his au­ dience broke down early, and staid in that condition to the end. The fame of the letter spread through the town. A brother minister came and borrowed the manuscript, put it bodily into a sermon, preached the sermon to 1,200 people on a Sunday morning, and the letter drowned them in their own tears. Then my friend put it into a ser­ mon and went before his Sunday morn­ ing congregation with it. It scored an­ other triumph. The house wept as one individual. A Hvtf en the square for three montba.'ft would be the best job i aver done in my life. Ill M agent rive me a ticket to here, & On wa cir i thought more of what you said tC ma, but didn't make up my mind When W« got to Chicago on the oars from there to i#M, t pulled oT an old woman's leather froMwd nar rtt her pocket-book); 1 hadn't 110 WMBS than go it otf when 1 wished i hadn't done tt. for a while before that i made up my wind to be a square bloke, for a months on TO* word, S -t forgot i when i saw t>ie leather was a grip (easy to get)--but 1 kept cloa to ker & when She got out of the cats at m wqjrjpiaee i said, marm have vou lost anything? 4 she tumbled (discovered) h?r Isat&ar Waa off (gone;--is this it, say.i i, giving,: 4t, to her--well if TOU aint noaofiL pays sto. but r hadn't gft choak enodgh to stand (hat Sort of talk, to i left Her in a hnrrv. When fgot beret had #1 and 35 cents left an 1 I Aat got no work for 8 days as i aint mOMME anoagb for a roust about on a steam ftofeHVpr, • deck-hand)--The afternoon of the :a4 day f*peut my las t teat for 2 moons (lain, rotindsea-biscuit) A cheese A i felt precty rough & was thinking i would have to go am tbe«pe (picking pockets) again, when i thought«T Mat you once said about a fellows calling on tniMx>rd when he was in hardlnok. A thought I would try it once Anyhow, hut when i tryed it 1 go 'j stuck on the Start, 4k all i 00aid get oft wos, Lord give a poor fallow a chance to square it for 3 monthsCer Christ's sake, amen; .V i kept a {Sinking ofit over and over as i wen: along-- about an hour after that i was in 4th St. A tbis is what happened A is the cau-e of my being where i now am A about which 1 will tell you before I get done writing As i was walking along i heard a b 'g noise A- saw a horse ronn n? away with a carriage with 2 children in it, AI grabbed up a piece of box cover from the tide walk A run in the middle of tfcoitrect, A when the hose came UD i smashed h m over the head as bard a i i oouftAdrive--the bord split to pieces A the checked ujj^alittjteAi^jrabbed the ,1 # II * .mmr ^NU Wa tw» stage at the if from tho and wtoo .9B0r»vt<> their Wars and tho toon of said audienoee; I hard for permission to print the letter in a magazine and tell ths watery story of its triumphs; numbers of people got oopiei of the letter, with permission to ciroulate them in writing, but not in print; copies were sent to the Sand­ wich Islands and other far regions* Charles Dudley Warner was at church one day when the worn letter was read and wept over. At the church door, afterward, he dropped a peouliarlv-cold ioeberg down the clergyman's bock with the question: "Do you know that letter to be genu­ ine?" It was the first suspicion that had ever been voiced-; but it had that sick­ ening effect which first-uttered suspi­ cions against one's idol always have. Some talk followed: "Why--what should mike you sus­ pect that it isn't genuine ?" "Nothing that I know of, except that it is too neat, and compact, antl fluent, and nicely put together for an ignorant person, au nnpr&cticed hand. I think it was done by an educatei man." The literary artist had detected the literary machinery. If you will look at the letter now, you'will detect it yourself--it is observable in every line. Straightway the clergyman went off with this seed of suspicion sprouting in him, and wrote to the Chaplain of the institution in the town where Williams had ba >n jailed and converted; asked for light; and also asked if a person in the literary line (meaning me) might lie allowed to print the letter and tell its history. He presently reoeived this an­ swer : The orignal is before me now, and I here append it. It is pretty well loaded with internal evidence of the most solid description: SrATit's PHISON, CHAK-AE^S OFFICE, ) July 11. ls7;i f DUB BBOTHER PAGE: Herewith please find the letter kindly loaned me. I am afraid its genuineness cannot De established It pur­ ports to be addres e 1 to soma prisoner here. No such letter overcame t J a prisoner here. All letters received are carefully read by .My friend went on a summer vaca­ tion up into the fishing regions of oar Northern British neighbors, and car­ ried this sermon with him, since he might possibly chance to need a ser­ mon. He was asked to preach one day. The little church was full. Among the people present were the late Dr. J. G. Holland; the late Mr. Seymour, of the New York Timets; Mr. Page, the phi­ lanthropist and temperance advocate, and, I think, Senator Frye, of Maine. The marvelous letter did its wonted work; all the people were moved, all the people wept; the tears flowed in a steady stream down Dr. Holland's cheeks, and nearly the same can be said with regard to all who were these. Mr. Page was so full of enthusiasm over the letter that he said he would not rest until he made pilgrimage to that prison, and had speech with the man who had been able to inspire a fellow-unfortunate to write so priceless a tract. Ah, that unlucky Page!--and another man. If they had only been in Jericho, that letter would have rung through the world and stirred all the hearts of all the nations for a tftrasand years to come, and nobody might ever have found out that it was the confoundedest, brazenest, ingeniousest piece of fraud and humbuggery that was ever con­ cocted to fool poor, confiding mortals with I The letter was a pure swicdle, and that is the truth. And take it by and *large, it was without a compeer among swindles, to «m perfeSt, * w4 * Fo* SOBS NWIMFC^I'FCSWELL kno* that soro thro ̂«nn be relieved far «sing fcol strong gargle. His aoon»onl»ntremedy, and rather a pt>a>int one. HOT L^CIK roa HXADAC&K.-- Con­ gestive or nervous headaohe is often greatly relieved by hnthing tho bend with water as hot aa can be borne, and the application will seldom have to bo repented more than once before the pa­ tient will fall into a refreshing sleep. Bathing the head and emse with bay and q ' " quieting.-- officers of the prison before they go into tha hands of the convicts, and any such letter could not be forgotten. Again, Charles W lliams ia not a Chri t an man, but a dis­ solute, cunning prodigal, whose father is a mi ister of tha uospeL I am glad to have made your asjua;nt. nse. I a:n preparing a lecture upon life eean through prison bar ,̂ and shouldlike to deliver the same to you vicinity. And so ended that little drama. My poor article went into the fire; for whereas the materials for it were now more abundant and infinitely richer than they had previously been, there were parties all around "me who, al­ though longing for the publication be­ fore, were a unit for suppression at this stage and complexion of the game. They said: "Wait; the wound is too fresh yet." All the couples of the famous letter except mine, disappeared suddenly; and from that time onward the aforetime same old drought set in in the clutches. As a rule the town was on a spacious grin for a while, but there were places in it where the grin did not appear, and where it was dangerous to refer to the ex-convict's letter. A word of explanation. "Jack Hunt," the professed writer of the letter, was an imaginary person. The burglar Williams--Harvard graduate, son of a minister--wrote the letter himself, to himself; got it smnggled out of the prison; got it conveyed to persons who had supported and encouraged him in his conversion--where he knew two things would happen; the genuineness of the letter would not be doubted or inquired into; and the nub of it would be noticed and would have valuable effect--the effect, indeed, of starting a movement to get Mr. Williams par­ doned out of prison. The "nub is so ingeniously, so casually, flung in, and immediately left there in the tail of the letter, undwelt upon, that an indifferent reader would never suspect that it was the heart oore of the epistle, if he even took note of it at all. This is the "nub": i hope tha warm weather is doing your lungs good--i was afraid when you was bleeding you would die--give my respects, eta That is all there is of it--simply, touch and go--oa dwelling upon it. Nevertheless it was intended for an eye that would ba swift to see it; and it was meant to move a kind heart to try to effect liberation of a poor, reformed and purified fellow lying in the fell grip of consumption. When I for the first time heard that letter read, nine years ago, I felt that it was the most remarkable one I had ever encount tred. And it so warmed me toward Mr. Brown, of St Louis, that I said that if ever I visited that city again I would seek out that excel­ lent man and kiss the hem of his gar­ ment, if it was a new one. WeU, I visited St. Louis, but I did not hunt for Mr. Brown; for, alas! the investigations of long ago had proved that the benev­ olent Brown, like "Jack Hunt," was not a real person, but a sheer invention of that gifted rascal, Williams--burg­ lar, Harvard graduate, son of a clergy­ man.--Mark Twain'a Book, *Life on the Missiwippi." Beproaehed by a Der* An old hnnter loaned bis dog In a friend, an amateur, and this is what the amateur said after returning with­ out the dog: "l never was so discon­ certed as when I caught the reproach­ ful glance of the old dog's eye after missing as fair a shot as I ever had; and, as I soon repeated the perform­ ance, I could plainly see in his ex­ pressive countenance disgust as well as reproach. Although I have stood be­ hind the trap and, amid the jeers and hoots of the crowd, missed my ten birds straight, I never was so utterly demoralized in my life, and of course I I missed the next one, when the old dog hung his head, aud curling his tail between his legs, dejectedly marched to the wagon, and actually 'showed his teeth when I tried to coax him Out again."--Boston Traveller. One Redeeming Feature at Least. "No, sir," said old Tostewater; "there is good in everv man." "Yes," said Lawyer Greenbag, "there was Jim Slanger; he drank, stole, swore, lied and followed a bad life for years, and yet when we arrested him the other day--" Here Tostewater interrupted: "You told him of his old mother; of his once happy home. You found some redeeming thing about him?" "We did," said Greenbag, as expect­ ant eyes were fixed upon him; "we found something redeeming him --it was a pawn ticket,"^-lioaton Com,' mercial Bulletin, Spruce trees of Northern Maine rum is also cooling Good Cheer. GRIT.--The force of will is a potent element in determining longevity. This single point must be granted without argument, that of two men, every way alike and similarly circumstanced, the one who has the greater courage and grit will be the longer lived. One does not need to practioe 'medicine to learn that men die who might as well live if they resolved to live, and that myriads who are invalids could become strong if they had the native or acquired wilt to vow they would do so.--Dr. G. M. Beard. DAY EABTH CURB ron TOMOBS.-- Take the strata of clay used tor making the best red brick, that lies immediate­ ly below the soil. Dry in sun so that it can be put through a sieve; keep in air-tight jars, mix with hop water until of consistency of putty, and apply warm with knife over tumor half inch thick; cover with light brown paper, then bandage with a good, strong bandage and keep it on twenty-four to forty-six hours. This has caused some wonder­ ful cures, I am told. It is also good for some forms of rheumatisn, dropsy and poisoned wounds.--The House­ keeper. Ax ABSORBENT OF FOOT. AIB.--The Sanitarian recommends for the perifi- cation of the air in the sick-room to "place in the bed a small basket or other porous article, containing wood charcoal for the purpose of absorbing the foul air, which, if diffused through­ out the surrounding atmosphere, would be constantly returned to the lungs and cause the patients to die of auto infection. In a sick-room in which in­ fants are sleeping, it is necessary to put a box or basket containing quick­ lime and some wood charcoal, for the purpose of fixing the carbonic acid ex­ haled from the lungs and of absorbing all the foul air generated in the system and given off by exhalation from the skin and otherwise. RHEUMATISM AND ITS TBEATMKNT.-- Rheumatism, like nearly all other diseases, is at its commencement, little more than an 0 inconvenience that is easily arrested, by simple remedies if applied promptly. We have seen a sharp attack of rheu­ matism cured in one hour by keeping the painful part of the body as near the fire as could be borne, the object being to cause the blood to flow freely. The same thing may be accomplished by brisk rubbing; hence the success of what is known as "themovement cure." There i< no doubt but that the condi­ tion of the system which favors the de* velopement of rheumatism, may be in­ duced by the too free use of sugar, milk and starchy foods, as white flour and potatoes. Beneficial results usually follow the almost total abstinence of such foods. If the quanties are diminished from pounds to ounces, there is still enough left to make an attractive bill of fare, in the way of brown bread, lean, meats, poultry, fish and nearly the en­ tire list of fruits and vegetables. As to clothing, too much importance cannot ba attached to the wearing of flannels summc^ and winter. They are the best protection against those sud­ den changes of tempearture that so often mean mischief, whether rheumat­ ism, pneumonia or other diseases. The greatest care should be taken to have the feet always dry and warm. But the most important of all things in the prevention and cure of this and many other diseases is frequent and active exercise in the open air. The oxygen ol the fir we breathe is the greatest of all purifiers. The more out-of-door exer­ cise we take the more air we breathe; and the more air the greater the puri­ fication of the blood; and the better the health.--Hall's Journal The Wishes of Three Woneni Mrs. A. and her daughter, of Pyn- chon street, called* upon her relative, Mrs. B., of Central street, to spend the day and evening. On their way thither they remarked how pleasant it would be if Mrs. B.'s daughter, Mrs. G., of Hartford, could only be there, too. This remark was repeated to Mrs. B. upon their arrival at her house, and she said that she thought of the same thing. Then one of the three recalled the old proverb that the combined wishes of three women can bring any person from any place, and the reply was made that if wishing would aooom- plish anything Mrs. C. would surely come. Mrs. B. prepared a strawberry short-cake for tea, saying that her Hartford daughter, Mrs. C., was fond of it, and that she was going to lay a plate for her at the table just as though she were there. As they were sitting down to tea the door-bell rang, and in came the much-wished-for Mrs. C., greatly to their surprise. When asked how she happened to come, she replied that she find no idea of coming till that day, and that she decided to do so be­ cause she had been "tormented with the impression that somebody wanted to see her." So, acting wholly on im­ pulse, she started off as she was, with­ out stopping to "prink," and took the caos. She is not accustomed to come to Springfield often, not having been hero before for about a year, a fact which makes the circumstance all the stranger, it would certainly seem as though by means of some occult mental telegraphy the wish so fervently felt and expressed in Springfield reached and impressed itself upon the woman's mind in Hartford.--SpringJield(Ma**.} Homextead. A Curiosity of Advertising Literate** Blank Brothers' hew grocery is the boss place to buy your provisions and things. Their fresh eggs, laid ex­ pressly for them, and under their own supervision, are of the patent kind, combining the egg and young spring chicken in the same shell. The hairs in their butter are all of the same length and color, an improvement rwer all other kinds. Try them oace, and, if they do not please you,, then come and take satisfaction out of us.--La Mesilla {it- iWT.) Republican. HEW YORK city consumes 43,000,000 gallons of milk annually, and almost one-half of this amount ia brought from Orange county. The Stat© has 1,437,855 milch cows8 and 40,154 of _ them are in Orange oounty, which sella j more milk than any other counfcy in fat at* fndoxns WWSB§. The r-- atftorud dinner;hin it aoroestfcewirf&of hit has laid it on the table wi it his a central indentation thumb and ̂ forefinger as it has Murust agninat the frontof the lips, and is thrown oarelessly on the chair at tho end of f repast. The Westerner's nap­ kin, as broadly spread under his chin, preserve) its original smoothness and linos of folding, though otherwise it shows how necessary has been its ap­ plication to tho vest There is a gen­ erous bonhommie about men who thus spread out their napkins, and it means business of which they are not ashamed, it is oomradeship in the necessities of eating.^ The Southener often dispenses with.his, fart bough plaoed in his lap in its square or triangular outline*, it there remains. Both Westener and South­ erner show their appreciation of home training and the laundrv exigencies by folding up their napkins and placing them on the table. Among the spoken signs of one's lo­ cality are the beginnings of conversa­ tions, at table or on piazzas. The pleasant, easy good morning, with the hope expressed that it will be a good day for business or excursions, as if making a personal statement in which every one will be interested, proves the cosmopolite. The invalid inquires after the sleeping hours and shows, by reference to throat or liver, whether he is from the East or West. The man who thinks that one's style is proved by being an epicure, has confi­ dential conversations with the waiter and asks the new comer "How did you find the table where you came from?" "Fair," is the sententious reply; faint praise condemns. The semi-library man inquires if you saw a notice of a new book, and casually observes, "I met the author in Norway when he was unknown, saw there was something in him, and invited him to join my party; w« w#m traveling incog,'you know." Btablis" " we were Having thus established the fact of keen perception of latent authorship raises a suspicion of his wealth, lie re­ lapses into silence.--Boston Courier. Josh Billings* tiulde to Health. Never run into debt if you can find anything else to run into.- Be honest, if you can; if you can't be honest, pray for help. Marry young, and if you make a hit keep cool and don't brag about it. Be kind to yonr motner-in-law, and, if necessary, pay her board at some good hotel. Bathe thoroly once a week in soft water and kasteel soap, and avoid tite boots. Exercise in open air, but dont saw wood until you are obliged to. Laff every time you feel tickled, and laff once in a while enuyhow. Eat hash washing days, and be thank- phull, if you have to shut your eyes to do it. Hold the baby half the time, and al­ ways start the fire in the morning and put on the tea-kettle. Don't jaw back--it proves that yor are as big a phool as the other phello. Never borrow what you are able tt buy, and always have some things you won't lend. Never git in a hurry: yon can walk a good deal further in a day than you can run. Don't swear; it may convince yon, but it is sure not to convince others. ; If you have daughters, let -your wife bring them up; if sue has common sense she can beat all your theories. Don't drink too much new cider, and however mean you may be, don't abuse a kow. Luv and respect your wife ennvway; it is a good deal oheaper than to be all the time wishing she was somehow dif­ ferent. "Save Herj She Is My Wife." Mutual affection is a l>eautiful thing, and every fresh exhibition of its ten-, derness affects us to tears. A wife--pos­ sibly an old wife--on a certain occasion fell overboard. The husband rushed frantically about the deck, literally tearing his hair out by the handful and crying in the most beseeching tones, "For Heaven's sake, save lier, save her; she is my wife." The noble sailors thought of their own sweethearts and ran all risks, and at last brought the poor woman into the cabin of the swooning husband. The look of grati­ tude he gave them fully repaid them for all their efforts. Then, recovering his equanimity, he thrust hie hand into his wife's wet pocket, pulled out a somewhat plethoric purse, and, with in­ finite relief, said: "Old woman, the next time you tumble overboard just leave that purse behind, will yoa? Yon scared me almost to death." k-Wiho Why the Bafcjr Crie ̂i "What makes it 017 so?* asked the old bachelor, listening to the baby ha the next block waking the midnight stars with its songs without words. "What under the canopy makee it cry so?* "Nothing," said the experienced father, who had his quiver full of 'em and war never happy unless he was rookiiw a baby. "Nothing; it just makes that noise ten hours a day naturally; TSFTM tarily, and without effort; suggestion,, assistance or compulsion. Nobodhr makes a baby cry. And," he added), after a moment of thoughtful silenee,. during which the baby got up> twice to' high C, "nobody can make it stop until it is cried out.""--Burdette, m> Life. A Dangerous Doctrine*. "I'm getting to be considecaMo of • believer in the Darwinian theory,."1 said a well-known joker, as he sat convers­ ing with a group of cronies. * "1 cer­ tainly believe in the theory of tho vival of the fittest." "Yoa da!" exclaimed ai friend* hk aa incredulous tone of voieet "Yes. I do!" "Well, of all things, in the worl^, that m the most foolish for yon to be­ lieve. It's suicidal, man!" "How so?" "Why, if that plan were in eperatkxx vou would live just about two longer.- WHAT we <>*H miracles and wooden of art are not so to»Him who created then; for they were created by the natural movements oJ His own greet soal. Statues, paintings, churches, are but snasikywa o~ fellow. of Himself.--Long- ijiflMII WI Itftll the world ahonld hare ing of him but this he used to tell'e I>nriwthis rh the Weetern Slates he • .r-4:fn*a. -'Vi f- own exp« ing trip through was the guestj in a small city, of the Chairman of the Leoture Committee, a self-satisfied and prosperous who met Taylor at the train, and oar- ried him home to his own smartly-fur­ nished house. While waiting for the evening repast the well-fed Chiurman raid, with manifest pride, that probably Mr. Taylor did not remember No Mr. Taylor did not. "Why," r^id the Chairman, "you wero hqre in town ten years ago this very winter, this very month, and stopped with me, as you are stopping now." Mr. Taylor pro­ fessed his interest in the important not. The Chairman glancing around on the chromoe, the new carpets, and the glit­ tering white walls of his home, "Ye«, you see I have been prospering Yes, the world has been a pretty good place for me. It has for you too, Mr. Taylor. I have watched your course ever since I got acquainted with you, ten years ago, and I suppose of the few people who have I am one read everything yoa ever wrote." "What," said Taylor, "everything?" "Yes, sir, everything I oould lay my hands on." "Then," said Taylor, "perhaps you will tell me what you think of my now poem, 'Lars'?" "Gosh!" said the man, "do you write poetry?" ThiB story was told to the late Dr. J. G. Holland, who was at once reminded of a kindred experience of his own.. Likewire traveling in Indiana, also on a lecturing tour, the doctor's attention was attracted to a tall Hoosier who sauntered dp and down the aisle of the car, attentively regarding a traveling bag on the vacant seat in front of th< poet, lecturer and novelist. Finally stopping before the doctor, as if deter­ mined to bear no longer his suspense, the stranger introduced himself by say­ ing, "I beg pardon, sir, but I see the name of J. G. Holland on that little brass plate. May I ask if I have the honor of addressing that gentleman ?" The doctor confessed the soft impeach­ ment, and the stranger craved leave to sit down near this illustrious man, as he straightway oalled him. The stranger "conversed" on a variety of topics, and modestly acknowledged his absorbing passion for literature. After a while the train plunged into a young town, theconduotor shouted "Elkhart!" and the tall citizen rose to leave. "This is my stopping-place," he said, "and I shall never hereafter take up my favorite book, your charming Reveries of a Bachelor, without thinking of this delightful hour in the sooietv of its author."--"Editor's Drawer" tn Har­ per1* Magazine. Making Cross-Eyes Straight. "The operation to be undergone by the patient is simple and practically painless. For the convergent cases there is no pain whatever, only a little annovanee while the operator is reach­ ing the little muscle which has to be divided. I have performed the opera­ tion hundreds of times on other people, sometimes giving anesthetics, and often with no such aid. The patient is stretched on the table. I draw apart with my fingers the lids of his eyes and insert between them a little steel in­ strument shaped like the letter O. The sides of this expand by a spring and force the lids open, disclosing the eye­ ball and the network of muscles hold­ ing it in position and direoting its movements. When this expansion w accomplished, I lift up the muscle with a small pair of tweezers, and divide it with my instrument. When it is cut it feels to the patient as if a small band of rubber was being snapped. There- is no pain at all. Very often, however, painful operations are perform d. The muscle has sometimes been divided toe* much, and the error has to be rectified^ This requires some stitches to be taken, and a new cut to be made. The patient' must be made unconscious while this is going on." "Can you cure any case of strabao~ mus?" 1 "I can benefit any ordinary case, even when it can't be entirely cured. I have often wished that I could operate on. Ben Butler. I think I oould give himi as straight eyes as I have in half an hour's time."--A Dot Times. Doctor, in New Ym%: KflM hy a Tee-Leng Argunest* In a hearing before a fat old New- Orleans French Judge, Col. Gryanes was compelled to listen to a speectu of two days from an old Irish counselor. On the third day, when the lawyers as­ sembled in the court were waiting for the Judge, a Deputy Sheriff suddenly announced that the Judge had that night died of apoplexy. On the lewyerfe. appearance in another court, with) lis usually solemn and grave expres­ sion*, bo was questioned by his breth­ ren an to the cause of the death oft' was murdered," repliedi t&e solemn old counselor. \ "And by .-whom?" was the* nnx^. OjOOVT. "By 1. N.," referring to hi* dtiiladfc- versaiy. "Howl* "By a two days'argument on a^Benr- azaptory exception. -- Nev»- OrU>ans< SSaeea-Democrat. " DON'T, give me away,* pleaded an empty-hiMMed swell, who had been guilty of a breaeh of etiquette. "Never fear," Cheerfully replied his friond, dotCl give nothing away." His reply sound ungramatioal, but it isn't. HEAVEN will permit no man to Monro by crime.--A\flei% A NKW YOBK millionaire tibot a man who has $2,000,000 has alii the money that for anyvpersonal gpod, or pleasure he can spend,. Hfestaies. tint at a dinner attended by a»numW»- ctf millionaires he was surprised how generally his view of TO accepted. Au«? ?e^ it HfcUke pullr- ins his eye-t~>tfi to get a.man. to retire OT$2.«kM*>0. If you doik't beliewfe it try to get one to. do it andt gW*- JptBi % chance to make a,fortune. NEW YOBK. ia rightfully tee«*di •» Empire State. Her area m equal to that of all England ̂ IJ* she has jusj|47,000 square mileŝ whfle Georgia has 68,000?, Kebrasha, 76*000; Kansas, 81,000; Minnesota* 8S,0<>0; Oregon ̂85,000; Colorado and Newda. each 104,000; Dakota, i&0,000; Cah- foruisv 188,000, and Texas 374,000 milea of area, the last alone liurge enough to swallow up the whole 6tate of Ifew York almost six times over. • Son nan are known bjrtha eflia- pany they--cant get into. NEVBBlooka especially if it be tho Ooit revolver. Oval will now be found in a l THEBE an 7,000 Uh known to of scienoe. Tho man of soienoe must ben blamed sight luckier than the av­ erage fisherman.* dw To« _ . II wad fne una* a I _ And make, us want to go off and hire a man to hit us in tho nook with a sand-bag.--Cincinnati Mer­ chant and Traveler. " ANGELINA to Paul, on their home from the theater: Ton star go just uteuthe gate, daw let Only aa (Sr aa tha nto: For the bull dog wfll bite, and papa wttlsbfw 80 111 bid yen good-night at the tela , Paul acquiesoes of oourse, having ̂# wholesome tear of hydrophobia and a club.--Carl Fretzets Weekly. " WHAT is that lying on your deskf* asked Gns De Smith of a young society business man, at whose offioe he hap? pened to be. "Those are my receipted bills that I have just paid." "Booeipted bills! You don't say so?" »Tnl»im«i1 Gus, with animation; "let me look at them, please. I've not seen anything of the kind in the last five years."*-- Texas Siftings. AN esthetic Austin lady went oat in­ to the country for her health. The country people were not that way at all; so when she went into ecstasies over the beautiful grass and flowers, they did not seem to reoiprooate. She was very much astonished at their apathy. "Does nobody out here take any inter­ est in the beautiful gems of the prairies ?" "Oh, yes, the sheep eat them," was the response.--Texas Sift­ ings. A LITTIJI bootblack picked up a very short cigar stump, and holding it up, remarked to his oompanion: "You oan see by that oigar stump that the mem­ bers of the Legislature have done left Albany and gone home." "What do you mean?" *1 mean that you oan tell they have left because the oigar stumpa have got shorter. When them Legis­ lators was here them stumps was twice as long. They didn't have to pay nuf- fin for cigars, so they throwed 'em away half-smoked."--Albany Evening Journal. • "WHY did you strike this manf asked a Justice of the Peace of a pris­ oner. "I had sufficient oause, your honor. He come to my house on a visit. He criticised my children and laughed at my daughter's singing, turned up his nose at a fish I had caught, and put my wife to a great deal of trouble at dinner* time, and--" "But all this gave vou IMF excuse to strike him with a stick of jstove-wood." "I know, but let me jthrough. After dinner he took a kind of all-day seat, and began to talk on tho tariff question. Then I hit him." "Tariff, eh? I fine you $10 for not shooting him."--Arkansaw Travelmm m Beeeher on Christianity. k'i "Some people, Mr. Beeeher, are of the opinion that Christianity, while it is being spread actively in heathen lands, is getting quite thin at home! What do you think of that idea?" ; "Christianity," he said, "may spread laterally or vertically, or both at onoe. In some foreign lands it is spreading' laterally. In a country long christian­ ized, such as this is, there is little chance of its being extended in that- way. The field has been pretty muds all covered. But it has abundant op* , portunity and occasion here to spread Vertically. It can penetrate deep into- the character and life of an individual and high in his intellectuality. Belig- ion may and should find part and be re­ ceived in the sympathies of life, in pur­ poses- of honesty, in disposition toward others, in all emotions of the heart, and in all sentiments and actions of tho mind, Therein lies the vertical spread of Christianity. Now, I think there has been an increase in the country so •far as sympathy is conoerned. Relig­ ion has taken a stronger hold of the le in that direction. But in tho e of honesty and.-integrity there has been a marked falling off. People make religion a film, a veneering on their character. There's no depth to it, and consequently but little efficacy. There's not that sterling integrity and unyield- ing honesty that there used to be. It ought to be* nest to impoesible for a Christian to> become dishonest or to lW Btft how mangr become defaulters, and how many are careless about speaking the exact tenth? A liar passes to-day scaroely dbnenmoed. Fifty years ago- he would have experienced anguish hardly desoribeble, and would hnveu been execrated by his fellows. Them are so manw corporations now. Theee hay© a tendbner to diminish individual; moral responsibility. Five men eonstft tut© a corporation, we wdl say. Strict honesty i» occasionally deviated from* and.misrepreeentationa are made. Eaehi one of the live feels himself ene-flflki off something which has no soul,, and! does not.hold himself sufficiently indir yidually responsible. No, Christiaiuty in this-oountry is losing ground: verti­ cally. fii seme portions it is gaining,-, dbubttassi, but in others it is loeinpr. Btllgiom that is not based o&r tfi|v tfaoroUgh honesty and integrity ia alii mnslu."--Chicago Herald. •ew He Took Bite. Uteiftwn was an ignorant* . ftoj*, aodl was constantly doir« " . of.arn enniHHHiiilslilo nat*"*- One da&v alhdfc, ter whom>«**d doiftg/ oftore*, said tp&im: an odd genina. replied Tom, not knowing* enaot̂ f what she meant. "1don't quite comprehend you.*?, "What, mum ?* / V J "I mean I don't Inow how tft> yxwa." "-Dad does." "How?" "He takes m« hy the see*, of breeches, mum, «nd the nape of tho> neck, and shake«me like I s a raJC"* The lady didnit indulge i» that sort* of "comprehensajiti."--Ctm chant and %\weler. I» Wash&gton it is said that'pekerlK played at private hauses, in the eluba and at prominent; restaurants, aud if the truth were kuewn the army and navy officials are not the outy men in the Ctovornment service who play, A YOUNG man finds himself in a per* plexing situation when he is unable to. d stinguish beiween a lQ~oent cigar pur* »noinnati IF anything affects your eye, you hasten to have it removed; but if your . mind is disorder^ you postpone the \ two-for-o's intended {or his prospoowft t e r m o f c u r e f o r o n e y e a r . -- 1 chased for hia ova enjoymont and tha hi i" , * p l ' . sf . A ' ^ - ; • •% ii