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ckt JtAC (»bont that fatnoua race ##ty Kentucky? Tfwn» a rattler-- iew? •' * •' . |D P<ulucah, not • falter m that flefit down an laairhed--to, ha, -a-w!--till he cried. round in Lexln'ton the rate was ft . , ' ttiat bed fbnr 18** sn*»|pww a „ A«* tfiSf «haptfcat lied a nag fur twenty towns ? 'Wis fear*. 3 .<•»'!' *§»* day it JistNhii f̂ffis, iH* W fcracilt wasn't alow; .* ««"•«.•(« . ./« i WHZ anxious for the tousle-- _now?-- w - , | __ "come a-Hdtt\ rtgt* aWro the frfj^Tagg unnm mu, • .. :r» ^JttteMar J<<eraon,Mlai»dMUepna bnll! HK IHKI a tin hoot in his hand an spurt upon his [ i never heaM« oomc from them 1 on the horses flnnkei, in' claimed it ]"i 1 » l t o s p l i t t h e r * a i d e s , b u t s a i d ' *J§m tnfr twf\ed ftrarlefa an* feiew a crop o* ha'r." ; ̂ . ttury Rot readT, and" they giv'the starred all together--don't gtv' a toot upon his* horn. Into the bull. Ki sure e* the houses flew the * i f * • • • * ' • Bt took fiw.-inli »- to tin' Athaliar on his back, l̂ iVMillkWM a-nwhin', wi,J» Ms tail npin pot WM he bed won ft«a*r; • "He wuz a critter om- l*ur lens that grew a crop o'ha'r. ; 9§oh a laughin', slch a hootin', fich a hbwlin'-- • ha, ha, ha-a-aw!-- The State o' Ole Kentucky qerer known, or i heard, or saw. Ole Ath liar took the pot--the bull an" he had won. The crowd it sided with the ball, in' hollered at the fun. The owners o' the hoeaes they began to diss an' awa'r; They said that Athaliar hedn't wan tgxjn the aquar'-- "That horn o' Ms'n hedn't legs nor eny crop o' v ba'r. Ifeen up spoke Athaliar: "Boys, I'll lay -this ole ~ horn by; , Tjf you've got a handled dollars, you kin her an- < ther try; t ! ra put the pot agin it, for I'm willin"--don't you know-- To give you satisfaction, if you'll rive me, any . . shoW.^ They up an' raised the money in s JfUy then an' thar'-- • Kacb owner o' an ai imile a-chipi in' in a shar' To beat old Athaliar an' his bea*t with le*a an' ha'r. " Away *jrin' they started with a whoop an' big . hallool '•That bull̂ AthaharV, how h«belkred^dont • yofcknow? Ther wasn't a ho?s among 'em all that showed a e aueck o' sense? . - j JMiial Btrfor()\s thoro'breA Jist threw him thrO' • » the fence; ,. Some stood the'r riders on theV heads, some scampered from the track, Jttf half-a-dozen turned tteV tails as' come a- ' sccotin" back: While right ahead that aritter tape, an' Jist ea sure ez sin , He won, an'Athaliar scooped another hundred t •' 4a. «•- *x,: ' •»»!•!' •» f -\»jAa* ̂ t̂ho Judges' etan '̂tl̂ bull coma 'A- . With tail a-stickin' out behind, I'tho't that crowd would die, V • '» lui':ha"a"w!ltf»'rfy \ - The hossesteft. an' never sence hex nee been / .,1-5 free and fii*r Tnireny beast that bed fonr 'legs an' grew a »»•" 1 crape ha'rf . - , t Oyt We»t~ by £ugeneX • I ' r - > » -- r f , - * , ** it ' "i ,, *S1. t" - % M ' J'-Vr ^ \ IF" \AL **»JM188 LILL1AM X. WACtBB. •w- t. x i' wJ?X°otlrse ^ go ' . - ,*t j A roey flush suffosed Euth Balton's h*, " **' l*er friend's, question. i | ' i f f ; ̂ B e f o r e t i b e o o i i l d a n s w e r , F a n S t e w a r t • V» continnad with a good-natured laugh. *1. • f k "Ycrtr neodnt blush, von little goose, ksPwiNWa is love with you!" •4' -A towMwi to be given at the • il3 ~v s 'liftlol •notoa, «nd Fan had ridden G V 1 toon hor lathtr** «sneb to talk ti* 'Otoith îr toilette for the oooMlon. ,mraed an extensive sheep * * i eililt mileH from Preston, , > ' a Vhrhiifg llMe town on the frontier. n»;., BqttC; wa« his only .child, a fair, sweet " . ;W #»M wer you saw, with great, brown k , r'- eye^ and a quantity of beautiful chest- f I nn' hair that waved fcbout her lovely ' ja%$£ ' 1*°® io » way that made the other giru , ̂ wfld with eacrj. She was the pride of H*. Dai ton's heart, and when Ned lie cane to kBow Red'a ttn^ âiaaly *<*&. /n4 strict integrity of character, ( Iw ptqiidift Tanislwyi, and for once the -oooiwe df trbe lore seeaned to run ^narpriopoan and God 4IM9MHS.* ' Ned had ««P«.opt the ̂ n#ng before oar Mory opens and jorxtpd Bntfe to at. tend bell wiili him- Be was a Itandsomeyoang man, tiQ, weU-ftemed, -will tiUvMl fof»V»4kat Wbn him * hMt fneada.. Hed had come to Preatou with the intention of investing h» M ĵcamfeaJ to the best advantage, ana, irraeloiddng aifotrnd^ lived in a little cottajre ttear the ovbkifU of the townwithMb Mother. ̂exeeption to other lynching ' • h»4 %»n te^edlti a Of instances, u the place was quite •orderly, but when night came the sa­ loons and gambling places were in full "blast. Ned jl»d one fierce enemy in Preston, ltowetver, in the shape of a rival for . Birth's hand. His name, was Dan Bid- «r, a speculator, who had fallen in love "with her, and was determined to make her his wife. He had received a deeid fd xefosal before Ned came to Prestini, but he thought Ruth was timid, and he wpuld suTely win heriutheend. When |ie heard of her engagement to Ned his •allow lace grew livid with fury and his 1*»dy black eyes looked murderous, as iM^gronnd out a corse between his set The evening before the ball Ruth sat ifi the "best room,11 where a great pile <& logs in the fireplace crackled and Mated. The wind moaned and wailed, <ttd tbtt snow blew against the window Ihe shivered and drew near the _ of the fire. The door •opened, and a man entered the room •cohered'with snow. 0<iod evening, Mr. Rider," she said, startled; "take a seat here by he o^MJor "Ne :̂f«irtiW into » |ln'4- whioh waa l%PecTArpm top t9:bott<Mii He did not preaalae, for he was w angnr with Bidet, and made up ma ttnM lo %eaeh -Mvi- Icwaoo ̂itopp^rtn* 6lty cscciirred.- ' - * - - • : ; 4' There was ft crowd of loungers around the door, watching the ̂anrivala. Ned spraug.ont of the cutter, and went to fcssist Buth to alight A tall, lank fellow, called Long Jake, on* of the worst characters in that part of the country, stepped airily forward, and, pushing Ned asid r r *• r .*«* >? "f , . IM'f i . ' w- ' i •*' J f r i i * • p,v. «o, he answered, abruptly. "I tf&'M- .WiW-wbat I want to standiug. Ruth," " xg* 5«!t4 2 >* . lie continued, in a pleading voice, "they ifay you are engaged to Ralston, and I liave come out here through the storm |o9sk you once morg to be my wife. 'ftf-y? A. look of intense pain flitted over his , - Jace, but was quickly replaced by one '»;! , , »f hatred, as he said, slowly and clearly, ^ro^king his thin, claw-like fingernnerv- «*Mdy tc^ether: "Then Ralston shall 'VV- .'*«rer wed-you, for I will kill him first i" s ,, , i%, y"It is a threat truly worthy of you, A M if Tk--i,utNed i# fUttply able to aside, said, with a drunken leer: "Stan' back, Balaton, leip'ine help the gal down," aiul reaching up he tried & chup Bvtfc iu his arms. >» Shie shVahlC back in alarm. Like a flash it came to Ned thftt'I#bu|f Jftkn had becA hired to jgrpyoHp aquftrrel with him, and in the Jlielee, th t̂ was sure to follow, give Rider ft chance to fultill his threat. In less time than it takes to write it, Ned raised his good right hand $nd with a blow that weftdd have felled an ox, struck Jake square in the face. The Mow was unexpected, and the villain with an oath on bis lips fell backward into the snow. The fracas had been witnessed by a large crowd, who gave a hearty cheer at the neat manner in which ifed had laid out the biggest bully in-Preston. Ned did not appear to .notice them, but carefully assisted Rnth to alight. She was nearly dead with fright, and clung convulsively to his arm. Long Jake rose to his feet cursing horribly. Ned stopped as they reached the doorway, and said in a calm, clear voice: ' - Til settle with you later." ' Fatal words destined to bring Ned to the very verge of the grave. Buth pleaded with him not to return, but, leaving her with Fan Stewart, he went back down stairs. The men were standing in groups talking over the occurence. "Pretty well done, Ralston, give us a shake, you won't have the pleasure again to-night, lor he has taken him­ self off." Long Jake was a header, and WAS looked down upon with contempt by every honest man in Preston, for it was well-known that he could l>e hired to do anything with a quart of whisky. As soon as Ned could get away he went bach tor Ruth, who could scarcely believe he had returned safe. The firt$ set formed on just then, and Nei had no time to tell her of hi« suspicions, and in the pleasures of 'the dance, the unpleasant episode was nearly forgotten, except by those in- teragEtf. . , " That the affair was not ended, all who are familiar wiih the Customs of the "Western frontier, was w6ll aware, and when Ned took Buth up in his arms and wading through the deep snow, placed her once more on her father's door-step, she said in a Read­ ing voice: ' ' Be careful, Ned, for ftiv sake. I feel as though something awful was go­ ing to happen." Ned laughed at her fears, and, straightening hiniself to his full height, answered: "Don't I look as if I could take care of myself?" "Yes," she answered proudly, "but Long Jake is so treacherous dear." He kissed the sweet lips tenderly,' sprang into the cutter and was gone. Ruth knew it was a ruse to keep her from talking about the quarrel, and, with a sigh, she opened the dodr and entered thte house. All night she tossed about the bed unable to sleep. Nearly a week passed, and Ruth be­ gan to think the affair was rgftlly ended. Ned did not know what to think, as Long Jake had Utterly dfcftppdared, but he knew by thrf look of hatred Dan Bider gave him whebever they chan6ed to meet, that he might look out for something desperate. Nearly a week passed; ftnd one morn­ ing news Was brought to Mr. D&lton's that Long Jake had been found new Mr. Stewart's ranch with a bullet in his brain. Popular feeling ran high, and the road between Preston and ptewai-t's was hifed with vehicles of 41 kinds, fftllof people anxidnr to view the7 re ot the mattered nuia. In life, poor Jal» had -few Mend* aiid many enemies; Wtit W*a AsMUnhiBg, to see how ru>idlyhis frienda mttltipiied'.yhen it was learned that he had be^nomt foully murdappdf, . T^roiti 4do ̂and deep were made a f̂uwit the mispreant who had comsgrttted the deed. Piston hiuinot had a murder for soma time, and work was ppitftteally suspended, and the search vigohmsly prosecute!. As night descended the crowds of men became louder in their threftts, and one man was heard to say, "Jake's dead, and somebody's got ter hang," Tins was very poor reasoning, but the whisky had circulated freely to keep out the cold, and it is only justice to say that lialf of them did not know what they were about, each one sug­ gesting some plan to capture the mur-t derer. Finally one man broke out in indignant voice: "Dan Bider, yoa had better keep still; there is no use in yer trying to lay it onto Ned, it won't go down." Rider knew by the black looks of the men that it was no use to try and arouse their suspicions, and, with a look of de­ termination on his sinister oountenanoe, he crept away. At Mr. Daltpn's it was oppressively quiet, for the men had all gone to tewatt's. About 10 o'clock Ned rode up, and said his mother was not feeling well when he left, and, as there was nothing he could do, made up his mind to go home. "Have they found any trace bf the murderer yet?" Buth asked. ' No," he replied; "he has covered his tracks extremely well. Keep up good fires, Ruth, for your father will be home soon, and it is the coldeat night we have had. Buth felt very lonely after Ned left; and, after wandering over the whole house, made up her mind to go and sit with the housekeeper, Mrs. Stevens. Just as she was going to open the kitchen door, a man's voice said: Get a pail of cold water; I've frozen both my feet." "Have they found the murderer yet? Mrs. Stevens asked. "Might as well; they found Balston's revolver with his name on it, in the snow." , 1, "Who found it ?". "Dan Rider, and the bosa sent home to keep anybody from teUin* the ordiein i.in the jgo; she it . l iar , . . . 4raa4 4&r; fcnd/jibiog to the banv saddled her otm hori»e, and, 1 -- J „ . . his back, ~a sec- and IfeiUrebe was flying toward P»eaton. Ratfc/faa very timid by nature, and a thousand fears beset her, but the thought o^ her lover's danger made her brave aa k lion. Li#htfoot fairly flew over the ground, in her surprise at her mistress' stern The bowl of wild animals made "Poor child 1 it will kill her. Can't you go and warn Ned? A groan was her reply, and Ruth waited for no more. She had stood t-*f a --JS-it'sr 'V voiee, her fairly scream with terror. Every little whl|e she fancied she could hear the' shouts of the mob behiiid her, and made fritftie appeals to tile horse to try to tirge her forward. Although reared on the frontier, she had been most ten- darly-oared for by her loving father, and knew nothing about defending her­ self against the bitter cold that seemed to penetrate her very Iteart. She be­ gan to realize that her chilled fingers could scarcely hold the bridle. Lightfoot never slackened her pace, and when the whip dropped from Ruth's icy fingers, sh6 gate a little iieigh of satisftction. With her mind filled with the hor­ rible danger of her lover, Buth did not think of herself, until a sense of dreamy, delicious languor came over her, and lover, father, home seemed fading from her mind. With a low, despairing cry she fell forward on the faithful animal's neck. Lightfoot had been a present from Ned to Buth, and she would never pass her former mas­ ter's door without stopping. To this little peculiarity Buth, doubtless, owed her life. Ned heard the familiar neigh and opened the door just as Buth fell under the horse's feet. "Oh, mother! what does this mean?" he asked, laying the unconscious girl down on the little lounge. "Poor dear, some terrible trouble has driven her to us." Mrs. Ralston answered/chafing the the :cy fingers. # Ned was down upon his knees by her Bide, watching eagerly for returning consciousness. "Give her another swallow of the brandy, Ned," his mother whispered. In a second the eye-lid fluttered, and she opened her eyes. "Buth, my darling, what is the mat­ ter?" "Ah, Ned! you must fly. Bider found Jrour pistol in the snow. Father is try-ng to reason with them, but it 'is no use. You know what--I--mean?" Ned's face blanched, but he said, calmly i "I know you are nearly frozen, my darling. Mother," he continued, "put warm blankets on your bed. You must §0 to bled at once, or how will I ever are look your father in the face, if I am the means of your catching your death of cold!" Tie said, turning to Ruth. '* But. Ned--r--" You need not worry, for I oam prove that Dau Rider entered my room while I was absent, and stole my revolver; and I can prove that the night Jake was shot I was inBozeman." "Thank God!" Ruth murmured. • Mrs. Ralston came back just then, and Ruth, who was nearly dead with fatigue, arose and went into the next room, where both women laid down with their clothes on. "For we do not know what may hap­ pen," Buth said, when Mrs. Ralston re- remonstrated. How long she slept, she did not know, but Was awakened by horrible cursing apd swearing, and Rider's hated voice above all the rest, shouting : "Drag him out, and string him up to this cottonwood tree P Mrs. Balaton tried to rise from the bed, but, with a groan cf anguish, fell back unconscious. Rider's voice brought Buth to her feet, and, snatching up her rerolver, she flung open the door, and went into the midst of the maddened crowd. Her sudden appearance stilled the tumult somewhat, and she saw Ned lying on the floor, a gash on his fore­ head from which the blood was pouring in torrents. They had already placed the ropa around his neck, and his white, insensible face seemed not t® aroase a -particle of pity. - Bnth's eyes flashed with indignation, and lifting Ke4'«i blood-stained head said in a bigh, imperious voice, "Stand bacjtjdlcl youl. How dare you attempt to' hang a man without giving a chance to vindicate himself? He is innooent and can prove it!" _"It"ii a ----lie, boys; drag him along. Put the girl in the other room, and some one watch her." « The crowd came nearer at these words from Bider. None of them liked the idea of lftying hands on the "boss' gal," and they did not want to be cheat­ ed out of hanging Long Jake's mur­ derer. Rising to her feet, she stretched out her hands and said pleadingly, "Dick, George, Tom, will you stand by and allow these men to touch me? Remem­ ber what a friend my father has been to you, and help me." They were all three men from Mr. Dalton's ranch, and after a moment's hesitation Dick answered, "Yes, miss, well Btand by yer." Bider fairly shrieked with rage, but it was of no use, and after her three champions had quelled the tumult somewhat. Buth related what Ned had told her of the theft of the revolver. Her words needed no better proof than Bider's faoe. It was gray with fear. His trembling limbs refused to support him, and he sank to the floor begging piteously. But it was of no use, and, after ex­ tracting a confession of his having shot Long Jake in order to have Ned lynched, they literally pounced upon him, and in spite of Ruth's prayers and entreaties, they dragged him away. Ruth knelt and prayed for the poor wretch launched into eternity without a chance for repentance. Buth's three cavaliers soon brought Ned out of his swoon, and ito a few moments the house waa filled with sym­ pathizing friends. Mrs. Ralston could only weep and thank Ruth for the brave part she had taken. Mr. Dalton arrived at day­ light and said that the horses had been appropriated by the lynchers and a sick horse of Mr. Stewart was finally taken to bring him to Preston. He passed his hand tenderly over Ruth's bright head, and whispered softly, "God bless you! my darling child." Ned was delirious when he was fully aroused, and long weeks followed in which his life was despaired of. Each one of the men who had been so anx­ ious to lynch him, took turns watching by his bedside, and, when he flftally re­ covered, a weight was lifted fram their waa. >-1H|Mflpyiiia Ma of' Stewrt 'wgj'-iwidssn>< looked Iafrr.a6d- stflftt her purs htjdal robes; her ttmMdneftflf -wldte from the troubles of that night "To think fd your wedding • gray- haired brida*" she s4id gKrly fb Ned. "Hush, dftrling!" ha replied, J1torafr gray hair ̂ doubly precious to ma."' Although surrounded secuJfcly by her frienda; the remembrance of that nigfit wiU turn her-sweet face white as marble, Mid Ned will clasp harm his arms and whisper, "my brave darling; but for you I Would now be lying in my grave."--Chicago Ledger. About Leechea. „ ; ,'h Something mysterious tie4 up m a white jar Attracted the attentipn Qf cus­ tomers at a prominent drug store, and the drumist good naturedly untied the cloth and took out some black, wrig­ gling worms. They were round or elongated «t p leasure, and started off when touched with a pencil at a rapid pedestrian gait until headed off and dropped back into their damp porcelain pit. "They are leeches," explained the druggi«t, and came all the way from Hollands Twenty years ago, when blood-letting was in vogue, they were in great demand. Now th&y are only occasionally called for." "In whit class of diseases do they use them ?" "jg." "Disorders of the head; if there is a numbness or pressure of blood on, the brain, chronic headache, etc. They put them on the temples and let them suck the blood till they.are full, when they fall off. Salt is then thrown on them and they disgorge, and are ready for use again." "How often can they be uised?" "A number of times. There is one lady in Detroit who keeps a pet leech. When her head aches she applies the reptile to her temple and sits down to read. When it falls off she drops it into a glass of salt and water, and if her headache is not relieved applies it again, until sometimes she has used it three or four times and lost goi ounces of blood." A more convenient way of using the leech is now in vogue. It is slipped into a glass bulb with an orifice smaller than the reptile's body. Through this it projects its head and fastens upon the human flesh, in which its banquet is waiting. Usually the patient is too ill to care for the repulsiveness of this remedial agent, whom Webster thus describes: "A cotyloid worm largely used for the local abstraction of blood. It is of flattened form when elongated, thickest at the posterior end, has two suckers, and ten eyes arranged in a horseshoe tor™, and is of an olive-green eolor, variously marked. It has a triangular mouth in the anterior sucker, at each end of which is placed a half-moon plate set about the free rim with trans­ verse teeth. By the retraction of these jaws a stellate incision is made, through which the leech sucks blood till it is gorged and then drops off." There are plenty of leaches in the neighborhood of Eoorec and other river hamlets, and the boys often col­ lect fifty or 100 and try to dispose of them to the drug-stores, where they are refused as a usual thing; then {hey offer them at the Chinese laundries, where they cook them with rice and macaroni. There are some specialists who use them for a valuable oil they are said to make. In New York there are artificial ponds Where the imported leeches are kept. The wholesale drug­ gists buy them in tubs of Hack earth packed almost solid. They pnly re* quire air and moisture to keep them alive. When the cover is taken oft their jar they swarm out as lively as crickets, and use their ten eyes to good advantage in getting away as rapidly as possible. Boys call them blood-suck* era, and have a dislike to their ac­ quaintance when fishing, as they fwten on their bare feet with a tenacity that allows no chance of removing them till they have filltad themselves with re­ freshment. --Detroit Pwt tmd Trifih --7--'----.. for mm k , Of late it has become a very common thing for newly-married couples to apply for divorce before they have been married six month*. The paper* arv full of such cases. In fact, the early divorce threatens to b«eon» the proper caper. Some time ago a young gentleman was about to be married to a widow, who had had several husband* at one time or another. They wens talking about their approaching wedding, whqn it occurred to him to remark that he proposed renting a pew m a church for their 'mutual accommoda­ tion. "I think it would be a good iden ts rent two pews, my dear," 'Why darling, why sfaoold we rent two pews ? We certainly will not need more than one." 'That depends on circnmstanees. After we are married w» will go «B on a bridal trip Of five or six week ̂won't we?" "Yes, my love." "Well, then, don't you see, before we come back something may cause «M of us to file suit for a divorce, and then if we ha 1 to sit in the same pew, people might think we were- strange and eceen* trie, and aocuae use of trifling with sacred things and each other's affec­ tions."--Texan Siflings. 1 1 1 ' • jr.- ;"*»««« *w <*•»' a . w a We, as a peopl*, came naturally bjr our prodigality. Abundant resources will make anv man careless if they have come to his- hand without any ef­ fort of his own. We have been in much the same condition of mind as the savage who kills a buffalo merely that he may eat the tongue. But the East, now that fish have deserted its rivers, the trees are gone from its hill­ sides, and much of its soil is worn out, is enough alarmed to attempt reforma­ tion. It seems too early for the West to come to its senses; but, if the work of slaughtering game, destroying for­ ests \nd overtaxing the land in con tinued at its present rate, "the granary of the world" may yet be unable to do more than care for the needs of its own people.--The Hour. IT is no disgrace not to be able to do everything; but to undertake, or pjfe- tend to do, what you are not made for, is not only shameful, but extremely troublesome and vexatious.--Phtiqi _ "if a| I teffhim ̂ l the man. F«t*fcg# mjMtnderstanding in some ha mmimmmt - ' i#Ant n&I yan tell tfy> •m.nut at home, scar." "Ho. fi& hloekheftd, tell him that I, "Now; what will you say to him?* "I, ngwyf; am not at home." •- - "Pshaw I Tell him your boss is not in. Understand .that, donkey? Now, what wiU jou say?" "Your "boss is not in. Understand not right. Say tohanip '•I am out.' Can you do that ? - "Yis, sor." •wSl, hear you." t ;' 1 " "I am out." . "Thanderation! Can't you under­ stand? Tell him your master is out. Now, what will you say?" , , / "Your master is out." "No, you don't say anything of the kind, you ignoramus. Tell the man that I have left the bouse. "Certainly, I'll till him I have left the house, but he won't believe me when he sees me in the house." "Pshaw! Can't you simply say I have gone out for a walk ?" "Thin he'll think I am lying, sor." • "How so?" • . . ' "Why, whin I tell him l have gone out for a walk--" "Great Potipher! You are the stu­ pidest fool I ever knew. See here, I don't want to see any of the people that will call to-day, and I want them to understand that there's no use of them calling, as they won't find me at home. Can you give them an ambiguous answer in your own words?" "Is it an ambiguous answer? I should say I could, if you jist lave it to me." "Well, what will you say?" "I'll say, when they ax me if you are in: ' Yis, the boss is in, but he has committed bigamy, an' gone off on a weddin' tour wid a widdy woman, an' if they don't arrest him for the ambiggity, yez 'ill niver see the color av bis hair agin.' That'll fetch 'em."--Texas 8^""l §§s A Toothless Dog's Thlet ' A Pawtncket town official had a novel experience. He engaged a young man: to cart some coke from the gas-works to his house. When the young man ar­ rived at the house with the coke his wife left the occupation she was then engaged in to show him where to put it. So far so good. But when the town official reached home at noon he saw indications that something had gone decidedly wrong. There was tiouble all over the face of his wife. Her first remark was, "Have you seen?" men­ tioning the name of the young man who brought the coke. So much of despair and anxiety and disconsolation was there in her tone, and the emphasis with which she said this, that the town official was frightened. His mind turned to assault, robbery and kindred crimes. As soon as he could command his various emotions to speak he in­ quired what tho matter was, to which she replied: " said he would call and see you and tell you the dog had carried off my teeth." This was too much, too much. The reaction in emo­ tions was exceeding great, and the town official laughed and laughed and laughed. It appears that when the young man arrived with the coke the wife was busy with her toilet, and when she went to show him where to put the load she left her false teeth on a stand. It happened that a dog, which has been in the family more than a dozen years, and which is toothless and almost blind, saw these teeth, and had so strong a desire for them (not having any of his own) that it took them and disappeared, and could not be found anywhere. Here was a dilemma. Not only was the wife without teeth, but the town official didnt realty relish the Idea of furnishing higb-prioed teeth for the dog, whether for use or amusement. He had to laugh, though. Inquiry elicited the fact that the dog had been seen in. the cornfield at play with some­ thing which resembled »lobster's claw, the informant said. Soy shouldering a hOe, the town official proceeded to the edrnfield, and in a short-time succeeded in finding the missing teeth where the dog had carefully buried; them for fut­ ure use. The serenity of the wife re­ turned, and she is now able to join her husbiand in his hearty laughs over the affair.---Boston Globe. What Gloves Are t» Women* A critical observer makes this sansi- ble remark: "A woman's gWv* m to her what a vest is to a maa." JPre- ««dv. When a man is agitated s*r per- pleaed he at once attacks has vest bat­ tens, thus giving occasion for m cestui 1 very expressive slang pfaraset. A 's vest does not admit of this sort of "pulling down," but her glove IS always a source of inspiration,, aad a refuge from any embarrassment. She smooths on the lingers, rearranges the buttons, drags out the wrinkles^, loeks critically at the fit, and does a dbcen little things with her glove that, fee tray or allay nervousness, and quite sustain the truth of the above? qyasta- tion.--Boston Saturday Evening/ €tm- aeite „ Willing te Come Down* A resident on Woodward avenwwtb* advertised for a man to take care cf his horses had an application from n colored man who seemed fitted for the position, and a bargain was made. As the new employe was backing out ef the office the gentleman said: "Oh, by the waar, what name shall I eftU; [ou by?" "Well, sah, my letters an ginerali&y darected to de Hois. Boswell Green; Ifcut be perfeckly willin' you should call me Mr; Green when you has occashuphta "djresf m®!"--Detroi t FreotPress. 1 ; > i " A Stupendous Empire. Russia has a continuous territeny un­ paralleled by any other country in the world. Stretching from the Baltic to Behring straits, it is a Sew hours' jour­ ney from Berlin on the one band, and, on the other, almost touches the terri­ tory of the United Spates. The Czar's empire reaoh.es nearly half around the world. Humboldt* to present it fairly to the imagination of his readers, had to go to the heavens far his parallel, for he compared its extent to that of tho visible face of the moon. tJfcjNMMn ?r- *fPpWwa«a. j board mmdrn after we ought to have asleep, the old woman sui Jabea Smith, you'n Pll have a settlement!" strangers showed up you've bin tarry­ ing a powerful high hesd! You claimed you were in this fight." "Y-e-s." - "fake it back! Takfe IIback, Jabez Smith, or I'll make a bald-head of you!" She evidently gave a twist on his hair, and he yelled out that he was a liar and waa sorry for It. "And you've been taking pa&is to speak of your farm, and vour teftml, and your this and that. Jabez, who owns this farm ? ( Who bought them mulels ? Out with it, or I'll get the gouge on your eye V "I--I reokon you do!" he stammered. •You bet I db! I heard you telling how you lost eighty niggers by the war- Jabez, that was an infernal lie! .Own it UP» or IH shet yer breath off!" rI---I own it, mother." "And you was telling as how your father was a Judge in North Carolina. Jebez Smith, take it back?" "Well, wasn't he?" ... . , "Never! He was nothing bui a Ten­ nessee 'coon-hunter, and you know it ! Oh! you need pounding!" He hadn't any opinion to express on that point, and after aa interval of silence she raised upon her elbow, and resumed: "Now, then, you hear me! I own that squat, and that mule team, and that cow and all else. I run the busi­ ness. I run you. If I ever find you prancing around again like you have for the last two days, I'll make dog's meat of you! Do you listen?" He didn't say. "Oh, you don't! Then take that! and that! and " At this juncture the bed broke down with an awful crash, followed by the howls of the dogs sleeping under it, and the groans and jaw words of man and. wife, »9d he turned oy$r and to sleep witi the conflict still raging.-- M. Quad. '• - -- Crimean Battlefield** . f Sfcbastopol is in ruins: but here anii there houses of a better description are cropping up. There is a new admiral- ity and a new church, the latter on the top of the ridge near the old ruined church of SS. Peter and Paul. It it built of Inkerman stone, and, with the new church of Vladimar and the great memorial edifice to the memory of those who fell in the seige, situated on the north side of the harbor, forms three very conspicuous white objects, seen from the deck of the ship as QB» approaches Sebastopol. There is a good fish market at day-break each day, and the city has three good hotels. The newest, or Grand Hotel, is very comfortable. There are plenty of horses for riding and carriages for hire, so one disposed to revisit the fields of his earlier battles can easily do so, and without either much trouble or expense. The trenches are easily. discerned; by those who have any knowledge of them. Bits of sole-leather, heels of boots, buttons, the tin Inside of vouchee are about in all directions, and innumerable pieces of broken bottles. The monu­ ments, from long exposure to the weather, are in many cases Illegible. The sites of camps are now grea* meadows with fair crops. The wind­ mill has its roof decayed and gone. Our roads are our greatest monuments. There they are, unused and useless, as the Tartars never travel on macad­ amized roads if they can go on grass. The battlefield of Inkerman is now a forest of stunted trees. Not even the road up the redoubt, js passable for a carriage.--The two-gun batterv cannot be se^n until you are in it. The plain B at Balaclava are now under cultivation, and are covered with enormous fields of corn, vineyards and orchards. The town has some> pleasant new, houses, recently built, and a good hotel.' It is recreation ground Urn those who like to get sway from the dust and dirt of SebaatepoL There tas been 1 good deal of prtoperty recovered from the wrecks in vie harbor --money; wipe, beer, etc.--and hopes are entertained that some of the £60.000 in gold known, to be in the Captain's cabin of thp Prince may yet be recovered ̂ I visited Alma than. It lies in solitary grandeur. The cattle and sheep avoidl the deadly slopes. The few tombs covering the remains of the compatriots ase ruined and neglected. The monument over the officers of the Twenty-third is in pieces. This is to be lamented as it is a beautiful memorial of whiie marble and conspicuous for many miles as you approach the battery where- so many fell to rise no more.--Amw aijefi Nqvy QaMtte. Nc Ei hell<* wants don't TOOTS saloons tickets. Is thb man whs delivers a de tion through the telephone a cutionist? 1 WHY is death fflce the tag attacksd to a dog aybA 0a*kit show? Because they are botfe bonndtoa cur. WHKic Carlyle said that everybody should have an aim in life he had no teference to the fair sex. Itsftad doubtless often, seen a woman trying to throw a stone at a hen. "DEAD broke, eh?" queried a Boston wai the curt spftwn-broke." THE editor of the Waco (Texas) Sentinel, having been blown up by the explosion of a saw-mm bofle ,̂ we sup­ pose it will now b# in order to allude to him as "our highly-steamed con­ temporary. ONE of the most sanguinary puna of the season was perpetrated by the Boston Bulletin, as follows: "A blood­ ed horse is of course a good gore." After such an effort bs this life appears much brighter.--New York Advertiser. RAILROADS have ironed'the ddimtry. So have laundry proprietors. Each have done considerable mangling, bat as this is talking iron-icklly we will desist, as each have" a" polished way about them. --Carl Pretzel's Weekly» THE Philadelphians are worrying over the fact that the coal supply will run short in less than 1,000years. They need not borrow trouble on that score. The Philadelphian will be where he will need no coal in less than a 1,000 years.--Carl Pretzel's Weekly. THE President of an Insurance Com­ pany addressed the following note to one of his policy-holders: "It bas come to our knowledge that you have written several spring poems with the intention of offering them for sale to the public press. I write this to say if you per­ sist in your purpose it will work a forfeiture of your policy. You Only pay the ordinary rates, and we alwayS classify spring poets as 'extra hazard­ ous,"' _ A Tbojan 2f-year-old was afofotg on his mamma's lap after having undergone the preliminaries to retiring for the night. His ̂countenance assumed a deeply thoughtful itpreBsion. Sudden­ ly, having apparently reached, the solution of the puzzle exercising his brain, he looked up into his parent's face and sagely asked: "Mamma, wasn't I good not to be a girl?" Hav­ ing received maternal approval of his forethought, he quietly wad contented­ ly dropped asleep.' * mmw:- POKING IT ON' AT POXKS&t" See the women with the pokea--. Horrid jokes-- Wfcat a world of mnrrimtot their ngUnmi pnv _ vokeal How they wobble, wobble, wobble. •...:.. In $he balny air of Juno, B While the French-heeled beatif ies hobble, *WBfi»aer.s!r time. In a sort of jerky rhyme, ®) Che hop and bobbtag xaotioii that tb#minotan gait involves FTom the pokes, pokes, pokes1, pofcm, From ARrS' wobbllnff of tHe --Burlington Frwl%re*8. "JOHN," said a farmer to an old ne­ gro, "if you don't return that plow yon stole from me I'll have you arrested and* sent to jail." "Boss, yer must he outer yer head. " "No, I'm not. You thought that vou were very sharp, but I have caugnt up with you. Bring that plow home." "Boss, X insists dat ver must be wrong in yer mine.r "All right- have it your own way, but I'll take im­ mediate action, for I know very well that you stele my plow." "Didn't doit* Now, what sorter plow did 1 steal, sah?" "Aplow with a blue .stock." "Will yer swear to it* sah?" VYem, £ will." "Well, deplo>w what I stolefront yer is got • yfciler stock. Jes* gfe on an' hah me Treated for stealing an' rill hab yersef fruited for swarin' ter ft lie. Talk ter me Tbout de bones'ness ob a white man."--Arkansnw Traveler. j "Fw Sale." A Detroiter who advertised n horse for sale noted down the objeotiens of all who called to look at the auimnl* and some of them are here giveiu: "Too large." "Too small." > "Too old." "Not old "Too lively. "Bather too aleepy." "Object to the white hijidl "Would take her if ah* lad more white feet." "Don't like her color.-.*" T "w!?g£ too 2uSlL" ̂**** ***•*•" PhL~* Imt 32? "Don't weigh enouglh."' "Has a bad eve." "Eyes all right, bnt̂ earsAM> small." "Yen, handsome ean», hut the nose apoik her." ^ ' "Legs all stoekadi «».*, fe - . "Legs all right,, but nefc balfeE *" If Shakspeare had said) that no man knew .what he wantediiibft horse there would be nons> to. dispute it.--Free Press. /vL"'- PWDI ia increased by ignoran>je J those assume the most who lmow the CMng ta lattla A Western man haa a project for providing this cij^y with a highly-de­ sirable summer resort. Aware that the nearest mountain is too far away to be reached by daily trips, and that thousands of business men cannot be absent except at niglit, he proposes to build an artificial eminence. On a site yet to be chosen, but probably on the seashore of Long Island, he will build a mountain 700 feet in height, with an elevator running up to a big hotel. All that he lacks is money, of which he guesses that he will require $5,000,- A TMMct im Then is a posteffice h«r>, and ilhiea the advent of ttoe milway--a telegraph station. Both. these ia obe offioe, ftre in the town ̂vlNle the mn is at the station, half aumfe distsnt. The post and Magt̂ agiatpe>t»hiaofieeat 1 p. m. and le^rapi ̂ at 3 p- m. At other hours, Jlto "HiHimiftlflfinn" is closed. As a matter ef especial favor, because I was ̂ boutr. staxt on a jour­ ney to the mittesi. Z got n letter at II It WasiAeoessMFjr to go to the offioe, then the* "ftdkninastrstoris" house, then back to. the offioe,, then to wait two hours and then to> expmis a deep sense of the obligation andi the honor con­ ferred. The'tittae? i» nit sn offioe. There is no roon» nojdask, there are no writing implemente„no>«ffieials. There is a small stone-andrplhstsr honse, hav­ ing ft ten-foot ootust-ysad psted with cobbles. On one aidh-of; this is ft bloset, » sort of dusttbim. Hh* administrator- goes into this.ollMet.ftni digs out ft lot. of letters, newspapemand odd trash.. If your letter happens tnbe among ths< lot, if the addtesatis iinliii ly in Bpaniah> and if the admioisteatee happens to see- it, all of whioht aim remote contin­ gencies, youi willl opt it; otherwise not. There ifc no< lsnking-house at Astorga, conseqjosntiy no address to which) ths< lnMsis of strangers can be^sent vtithtsnj- ressonftble d^ree of certainty thafct&ay will be delivered. adt the oftnlibaa dis- iMoneat, but ailnfily timt they know no. more of. foreigpi msdaa. oi addkessing; letters than an tnariwn postelBee of- fieial knows* of Chinamen or Chineaa* mail matter,, and tikey appear to holdl foreigners, if aakh equal contempt, at. least in equal dfimagaid as tie Amei* cans do tite Chinese. , What is not Spanish i*. harbsjous. Before letters reach any tevrn off the ?iailway they must go by horse or coacK If by the latter, they aire placed in one oi tho three leathern pouches^ which are nailedt uap in the "berjiner." These> pooches have no looks; the flaps am always open, and the passengers in the* "beriiner* amuse theuMielvas by exam-> iaing the letters. Suppose they con* tained money, or suppose they were ad­ dressed to anybody m whose affiiirs the travelers were interested. I say, sup- pose? The driver's back is always turned toward the lettef-baga Who would leuow if »letter or two were ab- atraote i? And who would care?-- Letter i M Son Francisco ChronMe. Tm large demaad il driTiag