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- '5#̂ : |iw m.wt- ip^f* *• ,1- . r -« Still Out of the Ark of *' &.=# many of yo« DANGER •iifSPE Jto PROPERTY Genera &rs¥S fc'J# Wi» Ob«A«W rinlwBdK Thfrt w«rt Ave'of tliero tog"'h*r, |at«. Tli«y had be«n drlnk- y. o»» of th«m looked at 0 iT wl<l: r our wires**? Wh»» w«. h» Mjr' What tli«y want tt>. t«U me to-go t« the mischief Ho.i. ! yoU*wliat» we will do. Let h«N*again in tha morning and experiences. Act the on* that has refuted to do what his wife tolil him t« do #h«n li<( got home pay for (be nlgl»t*f entertainment." '•That'«> good idea. We ft]] agree t® Wat." ^ t So the party broke up, aibd the men Went to their respect! ve> home's. The next morning tlioy'metrfit tlie appoint­ ed place, and,^s^|ai^ tell their ex­ periences. - | Said No. • ' ; . j.• * • , ••When I opened' the door my wife was awakW. She said: *A pretty tirt^e of night for yen ;o come home! You had better go and sleep in tho pig-pen. for that is what you will come to.sooner or later.' Rather than pay for what we drank last, night I did what she told me to. That lets me out." • "NextP* 4 > "•*- ' • ;l » Ko. 2 cleared his throat And said: <"W^en I gat home, I stumbled over a " chalr^aigrt ray wife called out: 'There you are again,you drunken brute! You k had better«wake up the Children, and jKr * ' stagger about for awhile, so fhey can • Me what a drunken brute of a father . they aro 'afflit#ed with,* So I woke up »* the children and staggered about until my wife hintfld to me to stop. Slie\ised a chair in ^>».vexiiHS the hiut. That , lets mo o«itj*r •< ' * ! "Next!" '• ' / Nd. 8 stood up arftf said: **I happened to stumble into a pan of . dough, and my wife said: 'Drnnk again! Hadn't you better sit down in that doughV So I sat down jn it, and .that lota me out^lf,,. • "Nextr r":mm- i':J No. 4 saint:, ^ 4 *1 was humming a tuns, and my tflfe called Ait: 'Ther& you 'are again! Hadn't you bfettftr give us a concert?11 Mid 'Certainly,1 and began to sing as loud as I could, but she told me to stop or ah* would throw something at me. Bo 1 stopped. That lots me Oi|t." ' No. 5 looked1 very disconsolate. Ho Mid; ' ' "I reckon I'll have to pay. Sly wife told me to do something none of you would have don* 1^ my place,** . • ; 1 "What was It?* I **Sho said ? *So you thought you would oome home ac last! Now, hady't you better go to the well and drink a couple buckets of w&ter, just to astonish your -otomach?' That was more than I bar .gained for, so it's my funeral," Beset you on every hand. The matter of the styconn, sick loon, saloon, cyclone, tornado, windstorm, or whatever name may be given it, i« heard in some section of the country nearly every day. " Fiend May break out at {any moment--the economy of a- lifetime be consumed. Death must come to *11. By a small payment each year.you can secure to yourself a tfm time, should you live, or, in tho event ,->t death before tlie time expires, vonr family. is provided for. H50.- 00(i,COO is represented liv this agency. Our rates are as low as experience lias found to bo safe. You will ""save money by insuring with me. Genera! Insurance, I.ife, Fire. Lightning and Tornado a specialty. Thanking all ray friends for their liberal patronage, and, hop. lnjr, bv square dealing, to merit a continuance of the'same, I beg tu subscribe myself, • N Uespectfullv vonrs, c. It. MOUSY. McHetiry, LIL. Jane 11,1SS3. James Robbing) WoK)i» •> - .til. --Dea'ler in-- Farm 31achinery* : V : : W e h a v e t h e V ' " ' -.4; And tlie Best HA.V HAKE In the market. Wliepnirs of 'all kinds constantly on band, Call and see inc. « James Robbins.^ Solon Mills, Jane 20th, 1383. m- Chaijiflii aisil Deist TBofei CHAMPION I BEAPEE5' Alf3 MOWERS, W.ith an unusually large assortment^)! Hardware, Tinware, Stoves, Granite Iron-Ware, &c, • AT BOTTOM FBICBS--> ' V * John i. story, At the olcl Ktand of Jacob Story, McHenrj, invites tlie attention of Dairvmen, House-Keepers, in fact everybody, to his large stock of Milk Cans, Creamery Pails, and everything in the line of TIN AND GRANITE IRONWAHK, which he is selling at prices as low as the lowest, workmanship and quality of goods guai ail teed. Tin Roofing, EaveTroughing, Jobbing and Repairing promptly attended o f|j§r>Remember, extra good bargains can always be c^btained R. C. HILL, WA UCONDA, ILLINOIS, iV,'.- x-bsALBa m-- Agricultural Implements, OF ALL KINDS. MTe kmp a full Hne of Farm Machinery of.tUe best manafactare and aeti at Bod Rook Prices. I#*«0 Want anything In the Agrtouliam-Machmerv line, no not fail to call on me be. tore purciiaaiiKf, as I can save you money. 1 am also asent ter Lake and Mcllenrj Counties for the ' T " ' ©HAMPIOI* Feed Cutter THK FUNNY HAN. Humorous writers are generaMy pic nlHWd airt by, tt>o->»*<Ver8 of their arti- dos aa-happy and free and go-easy per- aooa, witli naught to mar a hfppv life; far from it, most huniorisis are afflicted •tie way or another, and an unacquaint* •d parson would he morejapl to take • on sight a humorist for a sorrowful •beacon, than tho laugh-all-ovef' person '•no would naturally expect to see. The following clipped from the Proof Sheet relates one of the ^afflictions of •Mof the beet humorlsts'of.the day: George W ashing ton lPeck, who ha9 a world wide repii'tation made famous by his Peck's Sun. is altlicced with boils. There is a maxim irt every editorial ffoom to the ^floct that a writer must *>a brimming full of liiR. u'ajeeuto make H Interacting to tts readers. Imagiu* tho "Bad Boy" eelebrUv spjnnln^ «his yarns under the non-inspiring influ­ ence of tw<# or-three full-grown boils of tho modern sort--not th« ancient, kind, where a man can have a hundred or so *nd still live on--that remir.d you of anything but funny things. However If •ne has established a reputation for Baying funny things, you know, lie must aay thetn each week and increase tlie quantity, no matter how many boils he ipay have, or lit* paper . would be dtttibed a*deteriorating. Bow successful would you be. gentld reader. writli g,a"Bad Boy" Inspira­ tion with two or three et those botind- .. JW."Jumping, double extra exten.led •4 pain conuactors in the' oei^hhorhood Of your clmir? D,»n't you tliiuk tire . I aspiration would dame from the boils : a»w Kitfl in la.nguage<with a savor of hrtn»»t<Mfce father than womething the stjte of JH*rtyr fecke eftusiona that •ra put forth with cloek-lHie rejrular- iry? , s We feel sorry for Brother Peck, but w« can't take charge of any of his boils k for all that. We wvtuld do most any- >; 'Ihlhf hlm,'lmt u# that. Had ' we his quota of boil?, ~w« wonlj have '% to put on a *>f suspend publica- s tlon until reconciled with the things of ; this world, for oar pen would gn t the letter at what "judgment we had left and the subscribers would suspend the publication by the next mail. If some Inventive genius would get to work on a |»atent pai.dess Jjoil extractor Broth­ er Peek would pra»l>«b1y pay for the iBldui-ht oil to say the least. ^ A * \ ; f STOL.EX IlOKSpS. Taken *11^ by the ^subscriber at his place of residence five jnilcs ^outli west from Richmond,. A team to ha»e oeeu stolen and. abandoned by the thieves. Tlie owner .is requested to Drove property *pay charges and take them a\yay. Address for inforina- %{on. CIihs. H. Trj-on. Richmond, III. Ton can hare a ferinder attached to grlnt at the same time you are cncting. fcvery pni chaser gets a written guarantee with Ills ma chine. It Is ^ositivclv the KA IRT KITN. NIXGFKKD (JUTTEK IX THE MARKET Give me a call. Ry C. HILL Wanconda, 111., Dae. 26. lMfc* j DO YOU. WANS?* • TO BUY-- Sewinor Machine? I haVeJHift hun<i ami am selling at the TyOw- e*t Tlsriccs, the Domestic, Kldredge, New Hoiiii-, Sprinjiielil, New American, and Singer e wiiiK Machines, and w>11 not be itndersonl l>y any agent ill the 'county. ' A good ranger Machine'for 90. warranted to do the work of any. Singer Machine in tbe world. CalljiMi'l see ine. • U, W. OWEN. McIIonry, Feb. ?0, 188S. * % 0 * Sai illM'li, ^ing I uui Gouil >t all Kinds Troiiqiiiy AdeiMuU to ii.lt.Ms Itea&oiuiblc CHEAPER THAN EVER. I B. BLAK Doors North of Perry & Owen. My stock of furniture Is complete with a larger stock than«?ver, and will be Bold tis clieup asiuiy other in tbe county, and it will be to the interests of the buying public to ca upon me when in want of anything in that lino.----------; .rh'i'r" " UNDERTAKING 1 111 this department I keep a fiist-class assortment of Caskets and Coffins and Shrouds of all kinds and qualities. - A Hearse furnished at reasonable rates. v '/> fOHN 411 iU- 8-3 g? * •^SJL I Sf THIS MAGNETIC BELT IS Or Ro­unded* tho fol-.ov>int< diseaso* ni'x)lolnc :-Pa!n In 1lsebac.«, bipa* IumkI, op " "4 i« «U*1»i!U.v,'«»ini:tt^o. geiieruldebtUtft p .ra'y*'*. neural a, «c!atU-ut dfaeat-t v*,«plruil tor;»l<l livn-, ffOtiW linnot Tuy, o^huuu heurt dll* »fat ( rv Jlrx l.'iM, or ruyture, cului'iti, pllc», e»Uep«f9 V/ARRAflTEO TO CURE! VltlkO ISmU. rhcti m uiUm mot the L!i) •kvmTnnl <-ni! Pnm1, <1 >'*•>»*; ll^n, brruli Of the CFJffRATn'EORfiAKS r-CCTir*. lo*t V Jtuliiy, lu« k «f»crvt* fot-i'e Mild vI«or, MoMliitr nil (Sioac dlifaieii offt per* •until imturc, from >\ lisitfv>-v tho continuous i t ^ through the fmrla niuat r<'»fnrotii('in to a hculiliy aollou> la no tiiKt.'.b' ta-rit tl.J - AGENTS. WANTED, For Conqi eu-ING TIltD Wll.-DBH N KCS, or Jfsw Pictorial h istohv of thk I.ifk and TlHE^OVTIIK 1'ION UKR HKK(>F8 ANDUKKO- W||or AMERICA, by Col. Frank Triiilel. Over300 su)ierl> nrifrrovings. t'ovcru tlie three eras of Pioneer Progress (l) from tlie Alletrhe. to the MiB.sinsippi;, (>)' irom the 41111 to Uie lJoi'ky Mountains; ^3) California rfaje Pnciflr Sloi>e. . nkw. jtVunbincs pr;ii»Rir, tbrilrtuK n!irriitiv«' with profii«e:iet>tt <>f etc-TustriUion, bv eminent nrtfHts. Jfe irH-l«i personal portraits, embracing All the pio-gueer.leacters, lieniiles scyroij of incidents. A (torture jrftllery of rare intei-pat. A true liis-work of thrilling ad vent ure, in i'oreer, nonnUiin :<n<t mream; I'ovors western .» nn<l elvilizutioii. Fights with rit-iljsperate »ilventures;narrow o»c,iipes, on the border A nraii'1 l».»ok for Outsells everything. 720 o't:tvo >w us prii*e. In leach of the iiimbkm. •Tir^oltpbMe Outfit, 75 «'enl». *s« \Vrite * (vrtnti'ieiuial teiniB hii<1 illu«tr>i«.eii Mon. D. Tf!0>fPSOTf *ro., Pnbfi., St. .Loiiio, Mo.,orjSew York (Jiif. U°LTARGNETIC ABDOMINAL SUPPORTER. TO THE LADIES: it- f ou ttre ttmfrCed wltfi IiUeui>iut.»m| r , . Hcurolfcltt, NcrMiuc f.rt«H«tloBJ>y«pii>a!ii,orwltli lHitcu«tiofthc LI*-«*r» Kldm vR, JL'iuliictie orCold Fctt, Swollen or »u^ AiiUU'w, or Swollen fVet, au AbOouiiiial Ik*lt on<l u puir of Mnirnot ic Foot Butteries have rt«» tuioorioi inthere ivf aiKlcwvoof all these complaint*. Utev carry a powerful inaguetic fore© to tho »eat of tli* fU orrli 111 of tt»<» \\ < l«IT. I'ttlnf'u Knlnf, u, i hronU'1 utlumma* mil), liiclih tital Hem* I, Kupprctfflvd untl Jr. n*, itt;<l < Itanirc of d Cumtive In 1* of t t5o«» un i t'WHTiit orrKitore «r FIsm. rtrfMlar tl»l* 1# lite iK'»iApuliikuee Tvtio^FI. l«°r all f^rms of Female |>|fflctil(!e«» It Is tinnnr-l»v nnyi lunfj bctoi e InvfrUcil, b<»tb as a cut-adve and«»a souvce ol :un\« r and vita!i'/atloxi. PswofrllaorlA-U with liuti.Tlw, #10. Benthy exprr^c.o.D ,&jid ezurnination allowed.or I-y mail oti rcci ijjt of yr.t n in ord«»rinjr, wiwl measure cf ttratKt un<i 1T»Hoiritt ttcec&u bu made in cur- rvtwy, -f-nt iti Iftu-r at os.rr*?k. Tbf M ifin lon <.iarn:eni« arc to nil nam. are T.'orn over til.; uii'Jer (m.t t» tlia Jn«ly llki! Hie nanjr (inlvanlc and I'l k-trtc ITuoi-l>u^« '..a n(<.„.H -1v 1 iird slu.v.il be luiccii off lit liwrV.t. TlK'V bull theirpouitr/oreuer.and an worn nl :-M ,,f jj,,.yi*:,r. *111)11 fi" :w •\. w lie. a- tqroln VrntWI Tivat. Wf^t W 'Uvul ̂ .edU'In^," with ui le&unw. i X»K "T\';VFTON AmnvrFoo-S£lJS btttU) MU| ClUutyoi ^*?r .Jifc m mirnmm T U -:?ir - - B. Sherman, WQQPSTOCK, ILL., vDEALKB IN-- . Breeah antJ Muzzle Shot Guns* • Powil cr. hi t if rfF.M aflfrntt Cart rldga* for sale. Fislung Tackleeh p. All *lndsof < Sportiiig1 fcroods, g AND REPAIRING DONE* A good Breech T.nndinsr, Double] Barreled Gun. wniranted Twist £20. Wii.elieMtei Kitle, 7H model, 15 Shots, 25, Nickel Plated ii shot Uevi.lver, i'l.50. Self coe.kinjr 1'riti.sh Bull l»op Pistol, 5.00. A (rood Single Itarrel, lirecch Loading, Single Cun, warranted, #5. I will undersell any house in the .county In fJnns and Sporting <iood9. If yon want a uood gun it: will„i>uv you to call anil' see me. I warrant every gun I sell, Clothes Wlingers repaired and new Rolls put oil. Price pel* pair warranted, $2,50. •Yf'-lP <• "r7-r ,1i-sPxS •SEmESMAME®. \ ? zfi1"t£,v ?{*•!' • iw k.L r- ... ffrvtf. iv'J CHICAGO, ILL.-- O R A fJ G E, f/i ASS. AND ATLANTA._GA.' - . "«•',Z 1 New Home Sewing fvlachine Co. 24 State St., Chicago. J. P. SMITH, Agt.nl. Mclienrp IfL Bakery Supplies. M. Entceln. at liis »tor« a few floor* north of tli« Riverside House, ha» nia<t« arraiigfinente to niipply his onRtoniers and the juibllc genorallv, with fresh Bakers' Supplies of all kinds. Frt'fli Bread. Iti son i t Oak««, Plef, etc.. can b<* found at his ftore at all times, and lie respectfully invites the public to give him a call. Ue also keep* on hand Chick's and Spencer's Flour, which will compare with any to be found In the market. Give me a call M. EKOKLW. McHenry, May #tb, 1*88, The Banner of the World, rtt« rinhhl- e«t little Parlor Heater m*de. at E. M. Howe's. The Mellenry Brick Manufacturing Com titie#ttre "°W re<t,l>, to-8uPPly Brick in qu^. IE0M SMALL LOTS •l Car Loads. st:' Their Brick are second to 'none to be fonnd in the marfcet, and will be sold at the lowest market price. Persons intending to build, or those hand linx l>ri< k, will do well to call and see us be fore ) urcliasmg, , tfpr further mformaUon|apply to or|<tddrem McHcnry Brict Hannfactsri&s Cum, McHEMBT - . ltUSOl8 July fitb, 188). We are daily receiving our Fall Stock of Dress Goods in endless variety. Men and Boys Cothing without limit. Boots and Shoes enough for all. La­ dies Cloaks and Dolmans, which we guarantee to be the best fitting ifhich can be made. . A Full line of Choice Q-rO' ceries always on hand. |5gTDon't fuii to give us a call and jou wiU be cohvlnlli tbat OUK PKICES ARE LO W iod the quality of our Good? uu- cqualcd. , & O W E U , At the Old Stand of Perry & .Martin;. ^IcHeury, 111., Sept. 1911883 AN IMMENSE STOCK, BOOTS SHOES, AND For Fall •just received at Dwight's Chicago & ^orth-Western OtD (aTABL^^EElSHORTLIMB' C H I C A G O And all points In Northern TfUnoig, Con-* tral, Eastern and Northwestern Iowa, Wisconsin, Northern Micbig'nn, Minne­ sota, Dnknta, Manitobn, Central and Northern Aehratka, (Johtradn, wynm. In!?, Utah, Idaho. Montana, Nevada California, Oreyan, Washington Terri­ tory, British Columbia. China, Japail, the Sandwich Islands, A uxtralia. Tfet6 X'-alniul, and all principal points in the NORTH, NORTHWEST and WEST. With ft9 own lines it traverses North­ ern ILLINOIS, Central and Northern IO\V \, WISCONSIN. Northern MICHI. GAN, MINNESOTA, and Ccntml BAKO- TA. It offers to the tr.iveJer ell accom­ modations that can be cfVered by eny railroad. Its train service equals that of any road: their speed i3 r.s preat es comfort and safety will permit; they make close connections in union depots at junction and terminal points with the leading railroads or' tho West and.- Northwest, and offer to those that use them SPEED, CORflFORT AMD SAFETY At CHICAGO it make3 close conneo* tion with ell other r .ilro ds at t'l^t city. It runs PAtACE SI KEPIVO CARS on all through trains, I'ARi/iR cai:s on its principal routes, and N' UtTH-AV .DINING CAKS on its COl"S< !I, !!H I M >nd on its ST. I'AUI. rnrl MTX.NtAI'OUg through day e::precs treins. If you wish the Best Traveling Accom- ^d-^tlono you vlll buv vour Ticket® J route AND Wtl.li TAliE NONA '* '1 n.tes for slnnrle or round trip *3 rnd for fXill information In n- " Jo "11 p'irts of the West. North and u;i'.votc, write to Gencnjl Passer.crer ^ent, °t Chicvto, 111. All Counon Ticket Affent3 sell Tickets by this Line. J. D. LAYNG, MARVIN HUGHITT, Gen. Snp't. 2d V iro-l'r"«. and (ien. Mauaser, W. H. STBNl'ITiTT, Ucd. Pasi*. Chicago. -HEADQUARTERS JOB AM> old reliable cash house. "We have bought an extra large stock this fall of very desir­ able goods. These goods w ere bought for CASH and will be sold for CASH great bargains. W. H. DWICMT. Dor. Marti St. and Public Square, Woodstock, 111, FOR SCHOOL BOOKS, -AND- f f Havinff ascertained the different books used in all the different districts tributary to Wauconda, we can carrv a stock which, in quantity, quality end" variety, will be sufficient to promptly * upply your wants. You will also remember that this is*,the place to £et bargains in Albums ot all kinds, Pocket Books, Ladies Hand Bags, Stationery, Ciirds, Music, Spectacles and Rattling Good f FIVE CENT CIGAR |3§PTRY ONK A.ND YOU • - , ^ Wauconda, Sepfc, 1st, 1883« l >. . c. WONT F. I FOIUiET IT. I. HARRISON. THE TIME HAS COME! When GOLDING -BROTHERS, WAUCONDA, ILLINOIS. JM^ jrfcady to the promise made til# people of that place and vicinily the Z.AHQHST, And varied stock of Goods for the Rummer trade, iioipisisting in part of DRY GOODS, NOTIONS, GROCERIES* J HATS ^LTVI> ; Shoes, Crockery, Classware. &o^ &c Which they are bound to sell as cheap aa pood Good*, can be bought anywhere. In short, everything that can be found in a general store will be kept and sold as low sis the lowest, and everything warranted as represented. W hen in want of goods in pur line you will 4®d it for your interest to call and ace us. Wauconda, IIIe»June l*t, 1883, Agricalttttal Macliiawy, , A. P. GRAI'S, Richmond - Illinois. I sell everv Implement, Tool or Machine a ; farmer wants. PI,aTFOUM SPRING, DE- LlV.fiRY AND FARM WAGONS, TOP AND OPEN BUGGIES One, uvo ami three feated., :it Inw.-r price* than an v other concern northwest of I'tuertgo. In tlie A.criciiltunil Department I tmvc the Moline, Davenport, anil tlie John Deere I'lowa iMith Sulky ami Walking. The Kevstonc and Kichnion<r Champion Planters. The Kich-monit Hro:iilcast and Snperipr Scedtrs. Haj-rowsofall kinils ut lower (iricrs than erer before. Corn Oultival ors of all kinds, Mow­ ers, Reapers ai.il Twine Hinders. In short tuiythincrn man wants in the farm Machinery line, FROM A CLEVIS TO A STEAM EN GINE. F I W E P t i f T W C . In my Painting Department I have sif*»refl the services of II. II. NlcllOi.S, who is well . known in Mellenry and Lake (bounties as one of the h< st painters in this part of the conn try. Callund see his wort, which speaks fOT itself, fr'or "Artist'te Style" in this. >i»», we ilety competition. Blaeksmitliing, and RepairiAp Dono in a workmanlike manner and war ranted. Call ami gee me before pnachaainf as I am sure I cun save you money . A. P. (PJiAY, Richmond, Marsh 5th, 1883. READY M. HOWE, SUCCESSOR TO O. C. COI.RY] Having pun-huseil.the stock of Hardware* O. I'. Coliiv, in the store opposite Bislinp'l Mill. I am" now prepared to oiler to the buy. ing pitblic any thing in the line of HAEDWARS, TIKWABI , Stoves. &c. prices tu suit the times. DAIRYMEN, . Will also And a large assort men* of Dairy men's Utensils, Milk Pans, Milk Pails, Milk Cans and anything in that line at prices aa Low as the Lowest. A full stocK ot hand. ' Wim »|ir»jr» JOBBINC AND REPAIRING Promptly Attended to. O"l>on't lrnjr *ny thing in the Hardware I.ine until you h*T* examined my stock and learned prices. tVY*,* HcHenry, February 27. 1888, BOWK JOS. WIEDEMANN, Saloon and Restaurant, KEAttl THE DEPOT, McHENRY, . ILLINOIS The best Brands of Wines, Lfnuors and Cigars always on Hand; Good ,'Stabling foi Horses. ALSb AGENT FOR Franz Falk's MLWAUKEE Lager Beer, *; Beer in Large or Small Kegs orfBottlM^^t" i- ways on hand cheaper than any other, qtnll ' | ty considered. S 'This'neer has a world wide reputation,'*B# jsWKijml ires acknowledge it cannot oe >«aif paMed in the world. , ' - Ofders by mail promptly attended to. JOS. WlEDEMANIp.: « McHenry, 111. Aug. 10th, 1888. Gossamer circulars and coflii ; for ladies and gentlemen, and # toll line of rubber goods alwayi t o be had at 3 • « H K N & Y c o L W r t i 4 - s>' • . • • \ • • • , • *.!•?