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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 7 Nov 1883, p. 7

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• -m%:zi . M , . > . *1 T ' * m •. ~>< \ \= •» "'^.»«i».vmw« 1151 'fP.u'Wl!.,. j^T" \-^^r \f %/* ,J; 1% ••? .> •"V"" mmmmrn * ,'.' .', >* A 8000 of Cincmnati, was tkM|U be in tto (•miilbi a»d ««!•• ditc«4 by Us frto* ft* try Allen't Lunf Bilwi ftftar the formal* vm wovt him. W# ihi| it ii o*h and tbt to fthte to tk*. ft tfw best medldsefciW mrid. CONSUMPTION. Wm. C. Dim* chttt, of Rowlms VktliitU Pi•MMily L VA «0 ZMMtUh, (Ndi^ of tbt ran t€ MaMMM • w>h hww» * r... : sssr^wjnr SfeMwitk bwHy tenot hem htmln jmn. IVImI cand blu alia •out otban tt •kith. W» un> BY DI CO'N. ' XfeoM fgn room u er wilkta' down de lane' ' We't don laid by de co'n; MM she waddles in de wet an* sqaata itf dt :Jr We'll dnn laid br de co'n-- P» ole sow roots war de titers was dog--. , ^ we's dnn laid by de co'n, Mi dedomlnieker ben am a ohasin' ob d link WeS dnn laid by de co'n. X \-s We ole oow bawls As her c&lLshe calls, n' de 'poxRom dog wags I goes wid my pipe y f « War de apples is ripe, - An' chucks 'em inter de pafi. dsfcnr- $fc-J •' . . 4 U^: flic ysiler boun' am troubled wihSea*i\ We's dun laid l>y de co'n, Aft' it's too late now f*r robbin' ob de beWN> fc __ We'i dnn laid by de co'n, ;1 ; Insole bell sheep ain't afeord ob de curs-- " ^ We's dnn laid by de co'n, - t PHr her old gray back's ail kivered wid bpSN-, We's dun laid by de co'n. V. De lark he cries , As he rises an' flies, •". / ftn' de white boy shoots wid fclsgttiit v " But de birds keep on :tr O'er de ^ops ob de co'n, "Caw 1 he boy he neber touch Oii. --Arkan xns Traveler. * J •A- A TERRIBLE ADVENTURE IN THE GLOUDS. The story I am abont to relate hap­ pened during the Franco-Prussian war, is which the art of ballooning played so important a part. The city of Paris •was formally invested on the 25th of Septembef, and the imprisoned inhabi­ tants had no means of communication "with the outside world, save by means of carrier pigeons and balloons. 80 complete, however, was the system car­ ried out, that every event which hap- ?ened in Paris was duly chronicled at ours, the seat of the governing powers, dispatch balloons journeying to And fro daily. it is 6 o'clock a. m. The morning is eitremely fine, considering that it is late in October. On an immense open space in front of tl/e large hall at Tours, aspace set apart for the accommodation of the numerous experienced aeronauts then employed in the governme»t ser­ vice, walks to and fro Monsieur Gustave Nadar, one of the most celebrated pro­ fessors of aerostation. Occasionally he looks up at the heavens, as if taking a critical survey, and anon he turns his gaze in the direction of a huge balloon, then in the course of being filled, at a short distance from him. Any one oould see that Monsieur Nadar was get­ ting impatient. He is waiting the ar­ rival of the private secretary of the minister with important dispatches, •which he is to convev that day to Paris. It is a service of great danger. The intrepid voyager will have to pass over the Prussian lines, where thousands of men engaged in grim-visaged war will watch him, and secretly hope for some fatality to befall him. His balloon, the "Intrepide," sways about majestically, as though chafing under the restraint, placed upon it. All is prepared, when Monsieur Barre, the secretary, appears, carrying with him a packet of documents neatly tied up, and, presenting them to Mon­ sieur Nadar, speaks a few words of caution and explanation. The aeronaut takes the packet, and, in company with the secretary, hurries to the balloon. Nadar lightly'springs into the car; he stoops and places the precious docu­ ments in a kind of secret pocket, art­ fully concealed under the drapery. Having done this, he looked around thoughtfully at the necessary parapher­ nalia placed ready to hand, as though mentally assuring himself that his as­ sistants had omitted nothing towards the means of carrying out liia perilous voyage in safety. Finally, he tightened • strong belt which he wore round his "Waist, from which could be plainly seen *|Mpair of bright looking six-chambered revolvers. In a quiet but firm tone he called to the men, "Make ready." Then, shaking hands hurriedly with Monsieur Barre, who wished him "success," the men grasping the ropes had eased the huge machine up some ten or fifteen feet, when directly came the sharp command, "Let go." Away the Intrepide rises--straight fUbd swift as the arrow from a bow. 3£or the first ten minutes the balloon, although checked in speed, seemed as if it had not swerved a yard from a direct upward course. Soon the cur­ rent of air necessary, and calculated upon by the aeronaut, was felt, and she ^drifted swiftly off in the direction of Paris. Steadily and quickly was the journey being accomplished. Eleven o'clock had arrived. Monsieur Nadar was three thousand metres in the air, and over the opposing forces of the Prussians, which appeared as though a liliputian host had taken to the field, so minute did they appear by distanoe. 'Fort Charenton was reached, and Paris could plainly be observed. Monsieur Nadar quietly congratulated himself upon the ease with which he was, ap- Sirently, accomplishing his journey. e was taking but little heed of the awrrounding prospeot, his eyes being ^pced intently upon the distant capital. Suddenly an exclamation of surprise dame from him. On his right hand ap­ peared a huge balloon. He shaded his eves with his right hand to gain a clearer >riew, for the sun'a rajs 'were bright and Strong in illuminating the atmosphere asound him. A second now came to view on his left hand. Monsieur Nadar became alarmed, although long before he had mentally resolved to die rather than suffer himself to be made a pris­ oner. The French colors were sooi^ flying from the car of the Intrepide. Both the stranger baloons immediately re- n>ondfd bv exhibiting the same tokens Of nationality. "Friends, by all that's lucky!" ex­ claimed the excited Monsieur Nadar. But vain were his endeavors to make ont the faces of his "friends." They studiously kept them turned from him. Nearer and nearer the machines were drawn toward each other. The occu­ pant of the car beneath the first baloon was new near enough to be hailed by Monsieur Nadar. "Helloa!" shouted the aeronaut of ftbe government. "Helloa!" answered the stranger. "Who are you? What is your name, pud what is |jou purpose?" were the miestions askeS one after another, in tones of hurried excitement. ; "I am beside you, Monsieur Nadar," Came in reply; "you see I know you. As to my name, it is Carl Von Pack, principal aeronaut to the Prussian forces, now as thousands below us, and I am going to carry you a prisoner to them." At the conclusion of the above re­ marks the Prussian hauled in the French colors, substituting in their place those of his own nation. He had, in point of fact, been sent up by the Prussian com­ mander less with a view to capture the aeronaut himself than to obtain posses­ sion of his dispatches. Monsieur Nadar. nothing daunted, quickly and fearlessly retorted: "Thank you; perhaps you will capture me first. And your companion yonder?" he added, pointing to the other balloon, aa yet out of speaking distance. "You will soon discover," replied his antagonist, at the same time tiring at him from a revolver, the latter taking effect by passing through the neck ol the Intrepede, just aboye the French- man's liead. The gas poured out with a hissing sound from the bullet-holes, but Nadar was equal to the occasion, for in a moment the punctures were stopped with a strongly adhesive sub­ stance which he carried with him in case of emergency. It was evidently the desire of the Prussian to aim at the aeronaut rather than to destroy the bal­ loon, for the second shot passed through the collage close by him. Swift as thought Monsieur Nadar thought of a ruse to deceive the enemy, for on the second shot he threw up his arms with a loud cry and dropped out of sight in the car. The Prussian, thus deceived, raised himself to his full height, and foi the first time during the novel warfare stood exposed to view, waving his hat in joy in anticipation of his prize. Nadai only required the opportunity, for a well-aimed shot from his revolver tum­ bled the fellow over, with a fearful groan of agony. He directly poured five or six shots into the body of the balloon, which instantly began to settle down on its way to the earth, bearing with it the dead body of its late exult­ ant owner. Our hero's attention was now called to enemy number two, who had got near enough to fire, but whe had made no attempt to do so. Mon­ sieur Nadar, conceiving that his inten­ tion was to grapple with him, flung out a bag of ballast, and quickly rose above the coming enemy. The slight altera­ tion of altitude brought the Intrepide in contact with a fresh current of air, which wafted it, as it were, at an angle witli the course pursued. The effect of this Was to cause the balloons to cross, the Prussian one at the time being lie- low. It sealed his doom, for Nadar, watching his chance with breathless anxiety, made all ready, and at the very instant of crossing he cut away the grappling iron which hung underneath the car. With a crash it tore through the enemy's baloon. Thought could hardly be quicker than the flight to earth, a shapeless mass. Monsier Nadar, after this extraordi­ nary victory, descended to the current of air he had before been journeying in, and, although an hour before the usual time for accomplishing the passage, Paris was reached by him, and his dispatcher were delivered in safety. For this heroio act be received /& unanimous vote of thanks from the then existing government, besides handsome monetary acknowledgment. Nadar performed many other journeys during the war, but none that brought him into such close proximity with the Prussians as this aerial combat.--Bare Bits. "I Can and Will." A writer in the Evangelist tdlls of # boy who was wise enough to decline the assistance which would have weak­ ened him mentally and injured his self- reliance. The story, which conveys its own moral, is as follows: I know a boy who was prepared to en­ ter the junior class of the New York University. He was studying trigo­ nometry, and I gave him three exam­ ples for his next lesson. The following day he came into my room to demonstrate his problems. Two of them he understood, but the third--a very difficult one--he had not performed. I said to him, "Shall I help you ?" "No, sir! I can and will do it if you give me time." I said, "I will give yon all the time you wish." The next day he came into my room to recite a lesson in the same study. "Well, Simon, havo you worked that example?" "No, sir," he answered; "but I can and will do it, if you give me a little more time." "Certainly, you shall have all the time you desire." I always like these boys who are de­ termined to do their own work, for they make our best scholars, and men too. The third morning you should have seen Simon enter my room. I knew he had it, for his whole face told the story of liis success. Y'es, he had it, notwithstanding it had cost him many hours of the severest mental labor. Not only had he solved the problem, but, what was of infinitely greater im­ portance to him, he had begun to de­ velop mathematical powers, which, un­ der the inspiration of "I can and will,4 he has continued to cultivate, until to­ day he is professor of mathematics in Qpe of our largest colleges, and one of the ablest mathematicians of his years in our country. Good Biblical Authority. "I caa't understand it, anyhow* said old Farmer Furrow, as he laid down the paper he was reading, and turned to his wife with a puzzled air. "What is it you can't understand, John," ask­ ed the bright little woman, who was al­ ways ready to solve a problem or sew on a button for her lord and master. "Well, it is just this: In a paper here it says that a turtle lays 150 eggs in sol­ emn silence; and what bothers me is to find out why a hen that laws one egg a day should make such an all-fired fuss about it. What's your opinion, old lady ? "Why, I think that paper don't Icnow what it is talking about." "Don't you believe that a turtle lays so many eggs in a day?" "Oh, yes; I believe that; but -I'm sure it does not do so in silence." "How do you know?" "Because the Good Book says: 'The voice of the turtle is heard in the land.'" When the old man went down to the store that evening and told the squatters about it, they declared that he had the smartest wife in town.--New York Dairy. Vital Statistics.^ "Hans, where were you born ?" asked an Irishman of a German saloon-keeper on Calhoun street. "In Schleswig-Holstein." "What, always ?" "Yah, and before dot already." "How old are you then, begorra?" "Veil, in two years it will be forty- two weeks since mine fadder kept a blacksmith shop on the right hand side of der road py where der red school- house painted white stands, what vas purnt down already next year." "Och, an' I don't think yea was so old as that!"--Fort Wayne Hoosier. Wool tirowiog. An aeoonnt of the wool industry, published in America, states that during the last four census years the number of sheep and production of wool were returned as foUows: Census year. No. of Sheath Uml of W00L 1890..... 2U3S,2» 52.516,959 I860 32,471,385 60,264,313 1870 ..28,477,961 100,102,387 1880 43,576.8W 235,648,834 Peculiarities of Tigers. I The quickness of hearing is in these inimals admirably supplemented by the complete silence of their own move­ ments. A man when walking after s»ame has to stand still in order to listen for other sounds, as his own passage through the bushes and his footfall on the ground make it impossible for him to perceive whether fur or feather is astir in his neighborhood. *But the tiger--though walking over dead leaves and twigs that rustle loudly if a lizard glides across them, and which crackle tinder the light step of the jungle fowl or the fox--is absolutely noiseless. It comes into sight like an apparition, and vanishes with the same ghostly still­ ness. Sometimes, therefore, in an ex­ cess of audacity, either from hunger or despair of other means of escape, the great carnivora willdouble back upon their pursuers, and trust to silence in passing to carry its conspicuous hide unharmed through the very midst of his enemies. Thus on one occasion a man-eater, which had killed an officer's servant, was tracked up, and the body being found, it was determined to punish the murderer, A "machan," therefore, was prepared in a convenient tree, but while all were at work, the tiger came back, and in spite of what was going on, carried off the corpse! The tiger in this wonderful quietness of its approach shows itself a true cat, but in other respects, besides its objec tions to climbing, it differs from its family in its tastes. Tfyus I have seen a tiger take to water of its own accord, and paddle about in it with as much apparent pleasure as a Newfoundland log. Indeed the beast has been frequently shot when swimming, and it is supposed to be a curious fact that the body sinks at once and never comes to the surface. But as there are generally crocodiles in the neighborhood, I do not think that there is joom for much surprise at the non-appearance of the carcass. Nor in the hatred of the wild dog for the tiger is there anything adverse to the usual theory of the rela­ tions between the canine and feline species. But it would hardly be be­ lieved that the tiger, in the combats that ensue with these jungle packs, sometimes get killed. Several sports­ men, however, have found corpses of dead tigers with the corpses of wild dogs killed in the battle scattered around it. Nor do other animals hesi­ tate to meet the Baja of the Jungles in ^air fight--notably the wild boar. A case is in my recollection where a party, being out in the jungles after mis­ cellaneous game, came upon a huge boar lying dead, and, tracking up the blood which led from the scene of the struggle, found a fine full-grown tiger with a score of wounds, ripped up and lifeless. It must have been a grand sight to have watched that woodland duello. Bears also will sometimes dis­ pute the path with the tiger, but they have no chance, and the tiger generally ends by eating up as much of the hear as it wants.--London Telegraph. A Reputation Made by "Does It 1" There is a story at his own expense which the late Prof. Moses Stuart Phelps used to tell with great glee. In the days when he was a graduate stu­ dent at New Haven he took a walk one morning with Prof. Newton, a man who lives in the world of mathematics, and simply existed in the common world of ordinary things. Prof. Newton, as is his habit, started off on the discussion of an abstruse problem. As the Pro­ fessor went deeper and deeper, Mr. Phelps* mind wandered further and further froi}i what was being said. At last Mr. Phelps' attention was called back to his companion by the Pro­ fessor's winding up with "Which, you see, gives us'x.'" "Does it?" asked Mr. Phelps, thinking that in politeness he ought to reply something, "Why -doesn't it?" excitedly exclaimed the Professor, alarmed at the possibility that a flaw had Jbeen detected in his calculations. Quickly bis mind ran back over the work. There had indeed been a mistake. "You are right, Mr. Phelps, you are right," almost shouted the Professor, "it doesn't give us 'x,' it gives us 'v.'" And from that hour Prof. Newton looked upon Mr. Phelps as a mathematical prodigy. He was the first man who had ever caught the Pro­ fessor tripping. "And so," Mr. Phelps UBed to add, with his own peculiar smile, in telling the story, "I achieved a reputation for knowing a thing I hate. It's the way many reputations are made in this superficial world."--Waterbury American. ' English Land Owners hi America. Sir Edward Beed, M. P., owns no less than 2,000,000 acres in America; the Duke of Sutherland, 400,000; Lord Dunmore, 100,000, and Lord Dunraven, 60,000. Messrs. Phillips, Marshall & Co. own a farm of 1,300,000 acres; the heirs of Colonel Murphy, 1,100,000 acres; H. Ditson, 12,000,000 acres, and the Standard Oil Company, 1,000,000. It appears that nine men own a terri­ tory equal to that of New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Rhode Island com­ bined. Then there are the great rail­ road corporations, whose free gifts from a lavish Congress amount to up­ ward of 20,000,000 acres. Eleven of these corporations have received 120,000,000 acres. The Northern Pacific road had grants amounting to 47,000,000 acres, and other grants made ranged from 1,- 000,000 acres upward.--St James' Gazette. ' Time Took Him on the Forelock. Mr. Young had been to the lodge. On his return, about midnight, his sponse demanded if he knew the time of night. "No," said the slightly mixed partner of her joys and sorrows (in Mrs. Young's thoughts that night, principally sor- rows>. "Then find out," remarked the amiable wife, as with unerring aim, she threw the kitchen clock at her beloved's head. "Ah!" said Young, as he tend­ erly picked himself up from the door, "the clock strikes one. We take no note of time save by its flight. Bloom- field Citizen. ' The peach-growing center is gradu­ ally moving South. A few years ago there were great orchards in New Jer­ sey. Then Delaware was the chief pro­ ducer. Now Maryland and Virginia are coming to the front. The largest peach fiarms are in Maryland. The Bound- Top farm has 125,000 peach trees. On the estate of Col. Watkins there are 120,000 trees. A peach tree's usefulness is over after ten or twelve years of life, and the soil in which it grows is unfit for peach culture. Twelve and a half by sixteen inches is the size of a leaf from a mulberry tree recently measured by The Jack­ sonville (Fla.) Herald. Fan parties are popular in Nevada. The girls faint, and the young men fan them until they revive. People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy after.--(Joidsmith. _ The Scent ef the Bizzari. While digging sweet potatoes I no­ ticed a very luxurious growth of the vines covering a small mound in the field, and inquiry revealed the fact that a horse and cow had been buried there some years before. Just then nothing impressed me in that connection save the immensity of the potatoes which we found overlying these two graves, but in the afternoon and during the follow­ ing day, buzzards shadowed the farm by scores, seeming to obey from all quarters of the heavens a mysterious summons to convocation. I soon per­ ceived the sweet potato-field was the "radiant point" of each speeding shadow. Buzzard after buzzard I traced as they appeared in various por­ tions of the sky with half-folded wings, reminding me of mute a rial hounds "coming down the scent," their course as swift, silent, and undeviating as an arrow's. It was a strangely interesting spectacle tO»behold them swoop within a few feet of the horse-hades, and rise again with the slow, reluctant flaps, indicative of disappointment, then return to deliberately "beat" and "quarter" the ground, lerially speaking, with all the tact and persevering saga­ city of their canine compeers; in fact, the performance was suggestive of a fox-hunt, in which Reynard's place was represented by the dead bodies, "earthed" in this case, however, for other than Reynard reasons. One of the vultures in particular showed an extreme faith in the guidance of its smelling powers by alighting without demur on a fence half a dozen paces from the center of attraction, where, after some time of , manifest uneasiness and uncouth posture, it was joined by a few of its more dubious companions. This visitation of uncanny birds con­ tinued long after, though 1 never saw so many as at the first when the crop was plowed out, this disturbance prob­ ably releasing for a time the pent-up odors. I could detect no taint in the atmosphere of the place even while working in the freshly plowed ground, yet hundreds of buzzards assembled from far and near, and with unerring accuracy pointed out the place of burial with overshadowing wingR. In consequence of these observations the theory that the vulture family are enabled to detect the existence of a dead body by scent, unassisted by any of the remaining senses, and this, too, at great distances, and when such car­ cass had lain deep under the ground for several years, was to me satisfac­ torily proved.--American Nationalist. A Uttle Pate at lint. Tows tacftue afterward. 8ocb Is the wretch­ ed experience of too many rheumatic sufferer*. Slight twinges in the bones or muscles, attribu­ ted poaaibly to a oold, finally declare them­ selves, by their Increasing Intensity, as evidence* •f the'ateodona malady. But why rive it head­ way. Why not eradicate it »,t the atari with the potent blood depurent, H oh tetter's Stomach Bittern, commenaed by phvsicianf^ with equal emphasis for rheumatism, as for dyspepsia, de­ bility wid constipation, complaints tor which it is an absolute specltte. Where mineral and alkaloid poisons fail, the Iilttcrs will be fouud to afford the rheumatic the relief they so often seek in vain. Attacked with this searching rem­ edy at the outset, the malady rapidly give* (round, and the sufferer experiences a cessation of pain, of which he bad before despaired. Ma­ larial levers also abate rapidly through its in­ fluence, and disorders of the liver, stomach, bowels and kidneys are overcome and prevented by it An Ohio dentist has devoted himself to ac­ tive politics, probably on the ground that his calling has fitted him for * taking the stump."--IHUbnrgh Telegraph. Tons of Silver. Five thousand tons is a good deal of silver for the Government to keep in its vaults, especially so when every single dollar could be invested in Carboline pro bono publico. government Service In England. Therc^is no occupation more sought after -in England than employment in the civil-service. The emoluments are not great, but they compare favorably with those which commercial clerks in banks receive. They are also more secure, and a retiring pension maybe looked forward to, precluding the necessity of clerks pinching them­ selves during active service to putting by something for a rainy day. During 1862 20,499 candidates were, examined for appointments. The number for 1881 was 24,234. In 1882 5,940 obtained certificates. There were 550 more cer­ tificates granted in 1881, there being more because a sufficient number passed in 1882 to supply from six to eight men for every vacancy., Of the 129 life convicts who have entered the prison in Joliet, 111., tince 1858, fifty-three are still there. "Yes," said the farmer, "barbed wire fence is expensive, but the hired man doesn't stop io rest every time he has to climb it." Rfmarkabt.e for overcoming diseases oaused by impure water, decaying vegetation, etc., is Brown's Iron Hitters. When a man is half-seas over you may bar* bor a suspicion that his judgment is afloat. Would you call a nurseryman who grafts trees a Buddhist? Wins the little short man begged the big tall woman for a kiss, she stooped to concur. Hood's Sarsaparilla is an extract of the best remedies of the vegetable kingdom known as Alteratives and Blood-Purilier& labob a BtawmK. Iteanmbn of yaars my wife hasbssn a mm •offerer at times with indigestion and kfttaar Mver trouble*. Sh* had such severepatDSIn Otstack that she st times became very much deMHtatad. Ml the least labor wis a burden. I feared that it would terminate in Bright'* Disease, ss there were the symptoms. She had no appetite at times. She tried several medicines, but only received temporary relief from any of them until she commenced \ising Hunt's Remedy, which was recommended to us by druggist Smith, of Auburn, Baying that it had been used by a good many with the greatest success for the cure ol kidney, liver and bladder troubles. She com­ menced using it, and found by the use of only one bottle she had been relieved of the pains in her back had regained her appetite, and could rest well and attend to her household duties, and we can truly say that Hunt's ll:>medy is a most wonderful medicine, and cheerfully recommend it to the public. R. S. R. ABHSTBONO, Jus* IS, 1883. i6 State Street, Auburn, X. Y. The Inspired Bill-poster. "I pay my bill-poster more than my leading man; he is a more important feature in the success of my show, and I am willing to bet that my play is billed equal to Barnum's circus. The words I quote literally from a so-called actor, who was gleaming in diamouds on Union Square. One hardly knows whether to laugh at the insult offered a noble profession or resent it. Anyhow, it seems high time to call attention to this nuisance and to point out the remedy It is important that we have more on the inside of the play­ house and less on the outside. I say, take these millions of dollars that are thrown away on dead walls for the di­ version of billygoats and small boys annually, and pay the legitimate actor instead of the bill-poster. Why cannot a legitimate show be run in tliis coun­ try as it is on the continent or in the frovincial towns of the British empire? t can be, and it must, sooner or later. For the people are already cpming to see pretty clearly that the b/gger the bills the smaller the play. And this is the remedy I advise: Some years ago, when in Brazil, an American show opened with flaming posters at the capital. "Where is the man who plays the scene on the yellow bill?" "Oli! wal, that man, he's sick," drawled the American. "Produce your doctor's certificate or return the people their money," replied the Magistrate; "and consider yourself under arrest for obtaining money under false pretenses." This is the law and the enforcement of it in Brazil. And I lay it down as the law here, that if any one is induced to go to any theater by the bills, and does not find in that theater all that is advertised on the bills, he can demand and must re­ ceive back his money anv time. And not only that, but it is Lis right, his duty, to have the swindling manager arrested and punished for obtaining money under false pretenses. This is a remedy I earnestly recommend.-- Joaquin Miller. Canadian Bazar. Mr. John Osborne, Musical Bazar, To­ ronto, Canada, writes that his wife was cured of rheumatism by the great puin-banisher, St. Jacobs Oil; that he has found it an in­ valuable remedy for many ailments. One or the Other. Two negro acquaintances met on the street. "Hello, Bill, how's yer helf ?" "Fust rate. How's yerse'fs ?" "Toler'ble, tolerl>le. When'd yer come tertown?" "Dis mawnin'." "How'sde fokesdown in de bottom?" "Toler'ble." "Any discussion gwine on down dar ?" "Nothin* ob 'portance. S'pose yer heerd dat I had a mighty fine chile?" "Go 'way." "Yas, de fines' |n de Ian'." "Boy or gal?" "I forgits now, but it's one or the ndder."--Arkansaw Traveler. Thb rtlence which reigns in a corn Held well provided with scare-crows--is it not a case of an effect without caws? Rock HufPs. C.--Rev. J. a White, says: "1 used Brown's Iron Bitters for general de­ bility. It restored me to strength and vigor." Or course all imported eggs are stowed b*» neath the hatch-ways. 3. W. Thornton, of Claibom. Miss., says: "Samaritan Nervine cured my eon of fits.*' It docs not matter how well the gardener tries to do--he is always slipping. New Bern, N. C.--Rev. G. W. Offley, says: " I have taken Brown's Iron Bitters, and con­ sider It one of the best medicines known." The sleepy brakeman knows what a car­ buncle do in a tight place. "Pat np" at the flaolt Hons#. The business man or tourist will find first- class accommodations at the low price of $2 and $3.50 per day at the Gault House, Chicar jro, corner Clinton and Madison stroets. This fitr-iamed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. Elevator; all appointments first-class. H. W. Hot*, Proprietor. The Conductor. Conductor Warren, of Winona, Minn., 6ays: "I used one bottle of Warner's Wnito Wine of Tar Syrup when I was so hoarse I could not speak above a whisper, and in twenty-four hours it cured me. It is the best remedy I ever saw.i Free to All Ministers. I will plve two bottles of Warner's White Wine of Tar free of all costs to any minis­ ter who will send us an order from his store­ keeper for two dozen bottles of the nm& As one having used Ely's Cream Balm 1 would say it is worth its weight in geld as a cure for Catarrh. One bottle\eured me.--S. A. l/ervui.i,, Franklin, Pa. (Soe jad'vt.) FOB dyspepsia, indigestion, depression of spirits and general debility in their various forms; also as a preventive against feveraad ague, and other intermittent fevers, the •Ferro-PhosphoEited Elixir of Calisaya," made bv Caswell, Hazard & Co., New York, and sold by all dru^rgiBbs, is the best tonic; and for patients reoovering from fever or other Bickness it has no equaL For nearly 34 years I have been a victim of Catarrh. I have tried many remedies, re ceiving little or n* relief. 1 bought one bottle of Ely's Cream Balm and derived more real benefit from that than all the rest added to­ gether. You can recommend It as being a safe and valuable medicine.--A. L. Fulusk, Danby, N. Y. "Rouon oh Rats"--Clears out rata, mice, fllca, ruachea, bed*bugs, ants, vermin, chipmunks. ISc. Lton's Patent Metallic Heel Stifleners keep new boots and shoes from running over. Sold bv shoe and hardware dealers. Rkihnt Mas--"Wells'Health Renewer" restores health and vigor.curee dyspepsia,impotenoe. $1. Bronchitis is cured by frequent small doses of I'iso's Cure for Consumption. Wells' "Rough on Corns."--15c. Ask for it. Complete,permanent cure. Corns, warts,bunions. Piso's Cure will cure Coughs, Asthma, Bronchitis and Consumption. 25 cents. "BucHU-PAnBA."--Quick, complete cure, all annoying Kidney and Urinary Diseasea. fL HUMOUS. The animal fluids of the body, when poorly nour­ ished, become vitiated and cause eruptions to appear on the skin. They are objectionable from their dis- flRuremeut, and vary in character from a constant, uneasy sensation to a positive distress aud severs pain. Hood's Sarsaparilla corrects the derangement of the functions, enriches the fluids, purifies the blood, and < haages the diseased condition to one of health and vigor. Pimples. HauohdFlthk, of New York, had so many pimples and blotches on his faoe that be wss ashamed. Hc^tried various remedies without elTect. Hood'SttaroaparilMf purified his blood, and sll blemisl&s disappeared. Ringworm. My brother is a victim to a humor which brings riag^ worms sll over his flee. He is using Hood's Sarsapa­ rilla. and already is so much benefited that his eyes are no longer affected. H? will continue its use till be (eels fully cured.--L. E. Howabp, Temple, N. H. Kheum. My little boy was so badly afflicted with a humor * ' " ads. to kesp him from I discharged a that we had to mitten his ham.. . -- nibbing the sores, which itched ana dischs' watery matter. Before he had finished Hood's Sarsaparilla the sores we Cumukt, Merchant, Warner, K. H. Hood's Ssruparilla. Bold by Druggists, tt; sis for $5. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD k CO, Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass, | THE 6HEAT GERMAN REMEDY FOR PAIN. Believes and cures RHEUMATISM, Nouralffta, Sciatica, Lumbago, BACBACHE, HliDAOHl, TOOTHACH* SORE THROAT, QUINSY, SWELLINGS, SrBAIHS, lirtmn, Cote, BrviMl, FROSTBITES, BIBHS, SCALDS, AMI all other bodily schse and pains. FIFTY CENTS A BOTTLE. Sold by all Druggists and Dealers. Directions la 11 languages. 4 The Charias A. Vogsler Co. (immm u a. vooruii a co.» BstUacra, it, C.S. A. (66 Cnra Pura t; Epilepsy or Fits in Si horn*. Zfceetopoor. aille wUl§£D8.uo*K.3M4AFsaial8t..8t.liOuia.Mo. MOTHEiS. $72 4-worm*. (The Worm Denroyer.) Will cur* your chUdrca. Gat it at Draftst. tfk. A WEEK. (13 a day at home easily made. Costly outiit free. Address Tuoa a Co., Augusta, Main*. • a n IB6 provided for durine confinement. I C9 F. THAYER, M. D., Ft. Wayne. Ind. £ |I WILL BUY s lO-scre tract in Florid*. Of Address A. W. LAW TON, Auburn. N. Y. FS _ R reliable Life Insurance at lowest rates try the Cincinnati Life Ass'n.Cincinnati, O.J. H.Gray.Sec'y. $250 A MONTH. Aeent* Wanted. 90 beat selling articles in the world. 1 sample FREW Address JAY BItONSOX, Dar BO IT, Mich. Wakefulness at night is a terror, Samari­ tan Nervine cures it, and hence is a blessing. FREFCS flu return mail. Fall " r's Nmt TasUor Siitesi of -'Uttini; >OOU K fcCO, CtulauU. 0> A drVTB WAHTES. Fastest selling books, nifljll 1 D Larp-stprufltstocanvassers. Circuhira free! COBOBN* NEWMAN.PublInii'gCo.,Cu;cAea. Young Men£*ucS?£? areolars TaxmOOl UOA. Jaw phi bere and a situation. Jaasevllle, Wis. HAIR Wholesale and retail. Send for prico-ikA, Ooods sent C. O. D. Wigs made to order. E. BUIOiHAM. 71 State street, Chicago I have been troubled for a number of years with kidney and blsdder difficulty; st times have suffered a great deal with the weakness caused by the inflam­ mation and intense pains in the back and loins. I tried many medicines that were recommended, but none of them seemed to reach my case until one day I related my case to one of our druggists here in Auburn. Mr. Smith was very urgent that I should try Hunt's Remedy, for he knew of many who had used it with wonderful succeas. I purchased a bottle and used it, and found a good deal of benefit, and commenced to improve rapidly, and the pains in the back were relieved. I pained strength and vitality, and after using four bottles I have been completely cured, and have recommended it to others, and give this statement voluntarily, believing that, from my own rjute,Hunt's Remedy is all tbat it is recommended, and you can use this as you choose for the benefit of the public. William C. Clabx, Mason and Builder, 83 Van Anden Street, JtmaS, 188S. Aubura.N. Y The only known specific for Epileptic Fits. Also for Spasms and Falling Sickness. Nervous Weakness it Instantly relieve* and cores. Cleanses Mood and quickens sluggish circulation. Xeutra> liset germs of disease sad saves sickness. Cares [A SKEPTIC SAID] agly blotches and stubborn blood tores. Eliminates Boils, Carbuncles and Scalds. WPcnmanently aad promptly cures paralysis. Yes, It Is a charming and healthful Aperient, Kills Scrofula snd Klnirs Evil, twin brothera. Changes bad breath to good, remov- lagtbe cause!" !tout* bilious tendencies and makes clear complexion. Equalled by none in the delirium of fever. A charming resolvent and a matchless hutatlvs. It drives Sick Headache like the wind. prContalns no drastic cathartic or opiates. Battens [THE MEAT) the brain of morbid fancies. Promptly cures Rheu­ matism by routing It. Bestores life^tvlng proper­ ties to the blood. Is guaranteed to cure all nervous disorders. Uf Reliable when all opiates fall. Be. freshes the mind and invigorates the body. Cure* dyspepsia or money refunded. Dlseasea of the blood own It a conqueror. Endorsed In wrttlagby over fifty thousand leading citizens, clergymen and physicians in U.S. and Europe. , ) CVForsale by all leading druggists. $1.50. (ID For Testimonials and circulars send stamp. TbflBr.SJL Ricknoriltal Co. St JttuMto. MUSTANG Survival of the Fittest A TAKI1Y MIDIGIXE THAT HAS HIAIKB MILLIONS DOTUKG SS TUBS! SH IK LH1DT. A BALH FOR EVERY WOUND OF MAN AND BEAST! THE0LDE8TABE8T LINIMENT EVER HADE IN AMERICA. BALES IAEOERTEAH EVER. The Mexican Mustang Liniment has been known for more than thirty-five years as the best of all Liniments, for Man and Beast. Its sales to-day are larger than ever. It cures when all others fell, and penetrates skin, tendon and muscle, to the very bone. Sold eyerywheie. DIB DIVTo sell our rubber hand stsmpe. Terms Dill rn Ilree. Taylor Bros. & Co., Cleveland.Ohio A7P Fine Hew Organs,!ILLTPF m For particulars write I |l, lud'i Ttapli of liate,jeQ • ~ • w [ 136 Stats St., Clietgo. PATENTS O"8SUI!5SR! asad Sketch or Model. 1-ATfc.N I S BOUGHT or BOLD. Long enMriene*. Sand Stamp for Book. H W. MOBOAlf * 00. l'*t»ut Attorneys and dsalci* 'a J*auata. I>. O. Bes. 80, Washington, D. C. MENTS WANTED work for which there is always a ready ma for circular and terms to thg TwomMy O*., US Tremont Strset. Boston. Mass. p 1 O C • ' R E f auUMMHS. Uaeintime. BofihydraggSSa TO SPECULATORS. R. l.INBBLOM * CO., N. G. MILLER * CO* S& .Chamberof 86Broadway, Commerce. Chicago. New York. GRAIN * PROVISION BROKERS. Members of all prominent Producc Exchanges in Kew York, Chicago. Bt. Louis and Milwaukee. We hav»«xclusive privste telegraph wire between Chicago and New Ton. Will execute orders on our Judgment when requested. Send for circulars contain­ ing particulars. BOBT. L1NDBLOM & CO.. Chicago. ling Grten, Va., write April 4, 1881, that bt waste ua to know thai the Laa| hlwi fcaa fiM Ua •itWr •€ («•- iiIIm, after, tk* pfer la« had ffiTra her of aa tDcurabla. n« my* others kiwvlsf Wr cast Hav® taken the Balaam aad been cured. Ha tUskaaU so af-t icted BboaMgfotltatrlal. ALLEffS LOTTO BALSA! Is tuurmlees to the most deMeatn child! It contains no Optam In any Cbrmi Lias As an Expectorant tt has no Egoal. , SOLI> BY* ALL MEDICINE DEALKB8. RieomaMsM by Fkjalelaaa, UsMcn i everybody who hat given it a Mod trial I Relief. Advertising Cheats 1! J "It has become so common to write the beginning of an article in an elegant, inter­ esting manner, . "Then run it into some advertisement, dial we avoid all such, "And simply call attention to the merit# of Hop Bitten in as plain, holiest termataa possible. . ' > "To indnce people "To give them one trial, which so proves their yalae that they will never use anything else." v' "The Remedy so favorably noticed inaB the pope re, » * t "Religious and secular, is "Having a large sale, and is supplanting all other medicines. "There is no denying the virtues of the Hop plant, and the proprietors of Hop Bit­ ters have shown great shrewdness "And ability . "In compounding a medicine whose vir­ tues are so palpable to every one's obsufh tion. - Did She Die? "No! - "She lingered aad suffered along, pining away all the time for yeara^ "The doctors doing her no good "Anil at last was cured by this Hop fipt> ters the papers say so rauch about." * "Indeed! Indeed 1" "How thankful we should be for that medicine." A Daughter's Misery. . "Eleven years our daughter suffered aha bed of misery, "From a complication of kidney, liw, rheumatic trouble and Nervous debility, "Under the care of the best physicians, "Who gave her disease various names, "But no relief, "And now she is restored to us in health by as simple a remedy as tersf that we had shunned for years using it."--The Parents. Father is Getting Weil. "My daughters say: "How much better father is slnoe he used Xoa Bitters." "He is getting well after his long suffering from a disease declared Incurable," "And we are so glad that he rsed your Bittaa* --A b»nv«f fTHra. V. Y. c*rARiM-ttrr- CREAM BALM 1-1 • ;. . -?a •ofl causing h tionsTlti . nation, protects the membrane tt the nasal passages from addi- $Eirii:z£?2i restores sense of tasM and smell. NUT A LIQUID at SNUFF. , A ttw applications relieve. A asmfi trtatmtnt tetll Agreeable to tor circular. Price 50 cents, br mail or at ELY BROTHERS, Druggists, Owego, N. Y. SI. S3 S5 to S20 CE z a r a T X T V T B . Established, 1SK; Incorporated. 1*0. For the Cure ofbisem, Tmrara, Vtasrs, SersAila SBIBISi and Ssik Diskasss. without the rofkniie or t.oss or blood, and little pan for -- Tto^M AMD aaWjgMICE^SddrfSS A NEW, original, cheap laittsn^fer projecting aad en- Mui GENTS mi M KMAflCMKim two hav» sis oar Xaw Baslk untu yea kava "HUiT AND MEU." f teas of tbnasaads M 1 taris frw. A< MbAOe.,- $26 Reward! -i £rt£?*J Mi eesaaaas sad mmh aar Nsassl pesa lacayA'va-jiaatt'J co» • a* WsuH»Ji Ctiirsra C.K.U. 3€a.4S-SS. nrm» whiting to ADVEicrisBia V V pleaae aay you saw tlka adiwUNSMl in this paper. Books Victory Vox Populi. On which side lies the final victory in the desperate " Battle of the lowing extracts, characteristic of tens of thousands received, signify: Books," the Tbey oocbt to reader year i . W. Kutn, BattMwn, Vt. "The Alden flllljt, " I am amssed st the chespness and excellence of your books. Your enterprise is a public benefaction of tile highest kind."--Rev. Db. Shxmicrd, Santa Roca, Cat. " I am delighted with the books. They are msrtels of cheapness, beauty snd utility. Enclosed find in payment."--Rev. Mason W. Pbessly, Ches­ ter, S. C. "Your effeits toward extending useful information to all clasaos are the most extraordinary yet witnessed FA1K TERMS. Books sent for examination before payment, on evidence of good faith Immense CATALO<;l'K tree. NOT sold by dealers. JOUM B. AIJUKN. Publisher, 18 Vettey S>t-. Kcw Yoifc. 1 ' : jworid's greatest benefactor Mu ia John B. .the bold and original pubUsbec. wbo is saoeess» II^ placing standard mmian within tbe reach tt eiybody who cares taread."--.s:<.'!-, Bradford, Pa. "Two setsof Wavsrisjrju.it received. All uiv lnenda I get such IxLrgains. I explain, sal are wondering bow _ the*e (further) orders an Ttiv* result Farmers' Bint, Columbia City, Ind. -H. Mcl_\LLJEa» 18 Strike at the Bottles A nervous and discnse-stricken old gentleman was sitting in his room on an easy-chair, his physician being at his side. _ % Said the old gentleman, " Now, doctor, you have been treating ine for a long time, and haven't done me much good, i'M tirod of all this. I want you to strike at the root of all my disorders." * Said the doctor, "Do you mean exactly what you "To be sure I do," said the venerable invalid. K _ '*•£ "Well, here goes!" said the doctor;--and with one whack of his cane he broke to pieces the brandy-bottle which stood on the mantel. The old gentleman was angry and excited, but he had a good ready for the doctor. " Doctor, if it hadn't been for your doctrine, I would have got into the habit of drinking." In Brown's Iron Bitters there is strength for the debilitated ̂ ment for the nervous, and new life ibr the b: aken-down. l ; J-4, ;5 wSu'? ..at y '?• M/*" " > ,v

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