McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 26 Dec 1883, p. 7

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i'-' 3t 'pea «d «:> ms I wa"nt no nsj oat in tha field to~dsy> m* aomehow, coullnt awing (he Mjrtbe nor ton % the new Inown h >y, .An' HO I thought I'd jest sit ban among tbe ap- ; ptotiMf, vt;To test awhile beneath the shade aa' watch the *•£•$* bnzzin bees. î pWell, no! Can't Bay I'm tired, hnt I somehow wante-l r<st, To be away from evecythinic seemed sorter to be v |Por ev ry time I go around where there Is hn- • (;jp nun kind, kinder hanger after What I know 1 eaaaot "•»;& find. ' '1s • $llt's Bintrlar how in natto* the sweet apple bloe- , < '.{• fonts tell, *The breese it 'pears to know sad piek the pnr- 'i.,r tieetof'email: r~ <V'jilt's only rneped ones, perhaps, can stand agin' ' ViT,rfi the blast-- The frail and delicatt an made too beautiful to last. , " Why, right here in the wdiard, among theold- "i eat then-, -i had a nice young apple tree jest startin' ont to ' ..j . bear, ? " * 1 A n ' w h e n t h e e k i n o x i a l s t o r m o o m e t a a r i n ' ' c r o s s the farm, tto:ethatnp, while to the rest It didnt do no *. v A; harm. An' so yon've been away a spell? Wall, bow is Jhinas in town? Dare say it's gettin' close and hot. To take it np an* down 1 •« 1 like the oonntry beat. Fm glad to see you're lookin'spry. .̂«Mo! Things don't do jeat right with me; I ,** ̂ scarcely can say why. ; * K ' yea! The crop is looking fair; I've no right tooomplsln; - My corn runs well, an* I have got a purty stand of grain; ̂ r My hay is almost made; an'-- Well, yes! Betsy? f": She'a so so-- PH , ̂ 8b« never is as hearty as she ought to be, yon if ' - < know. The boys? They're in the medder lot down by the old mill-race; : As fine a piece of grass-ground aa I've got upon the place. I* It's queer how. when the grass grows up, aa* - gite to lookln' best. : . That then's the time to ont it down. It'a so with all the rest Ot thine* in natnr', I suppose. The harvest comes for all Someday, but I can't understand jeat why the beet fruits fall; ' The Lord knows best He fixes things to suit his own wiso laws; An' yet it's cur'c us oftentimes to figgei oat the £• cause. : Miranda? Yes, she's doin' well; she's helpin' mother now r About the house. A likely gal to bake, or milk a cow, An'-- Mo! I am nothalf the man I were ten year ago; But then the years will tell upon the best of us, 14 yon know. Another? Yes, our Lizaie were the beat one of them all: Our baby, only 17, so sweet, an* fair, and tall. Jest like a lily; always good, yet cheerful, bright an' gav-- • We laid her in the chnrchyard, over yonder, yesterday. That's whv I felt 1 wan't no use ont in the field to-day. I somehow couldn't swing the scythe nor toss the new mown-hay; ' An' so I thought I'd jest sit here among the trees J1"" an'rtwt; , These things come harder when we're old; but then the Lord knows best. K --Harry J. Shrttman in Huston Transcript A TERRIBLE MISTAKE. How gasped shove her I I?4 a Telegraph Error "Worked" the Be/. Mr. Mulkittle. The other day, while the Bev. Mr. Mulkittle was traveling on a railroad just completed through a hitherto "un openeS-to-the-world" section of Arkan­ sas, a man wearing high top boots and a long "yaller" jeans coat sat down by : him and attempted to engage the good man in conversation. There is a great deal of the Englishman in Mr. Mul­ kittle's character. He would travel all day and never throw off the cloak of severe reserve if allowed to do so, and when the ronghly-dressed man sat down bv him he moved nneasily in his scat. The man noted this sign with some­ thing of encouragement, and when he smiled the curved lines on his cheeks , made his mouth look as though it were set in parenthesis. "How fur are you goin' ?" asked the man. Again Mr. Mulkittle moved nneasily and pretended to devote himself to a newspaper. "I ask, cap'n, how fur air you goin'?" "I know what you ask, sir. I am not fueling very well to-day, and with your kind permission I prefer to be left alone." "I reckin so., Whar did you git on ?w "None of your business." " Tears to me it is my business," and placing a rude hand on Mr. Mulkittle's shoulder, he said, "You air my prisoner." "Your prisonerI" gasped the minister. "What do you mean, sir?" "Don't cut no scallops with me, cap'n. ' You think I don't know you, but yott air mistaken. I've been layin' for you for some time." "What have I done?" demanded Mr. Mulkittle, attempting to rise. "Set down, sir. You know what you've done. If you've forgot, why the folks at Hickory Flat will remind you." "I was never at Hickory Flat in my life, sir." "I expected you to kick, cap'n. You didn't come thar last month an' beat Cpl. Manly outen a watch, eh ?" "&ever saw Col. Manly in my life. Make these people sit down. »I don't want a crowd around me." "Didn't beat ole man 'Lias Gregg outen two weeks' board, oh no. Oh, I know, you Nick Payton. Here's a man who Uvea in the Flat. Here, Mr. Mor­ gan, who is this fellow?" Mr. Morgan, after a moment's scru­ tiny, replied: "That's him," and after rubbing his spectacles added: "I swar ter it He wanted ter git board at my house, but 1 turned him away, 'cause why? His clothes were too sleek. I like a straightfor'ard :nan, but when a feller comes aroun' with a 'spicious eye and sleek duds I let him slide." f Gentlemen," said Mr. Mulkittle, be­ coming aroused to a true sense of his unenviable position, "I am sorry that von BO misjudge me. I have no doubt l>ut that some rascal has imposed upon you, and I assure you that no one sooner than I would assist you in bring­ ing him to justice, but I am innocent. I am a minister of the gospel, and live in Little Rock. If you will stop at the next station and let me send a telegram to the Governor of the State, he will identify me as the Bev. Mulkittle, pas­ tor of St. Simon church." "The next Btation is Hickory Flat," replied the officer, "an' we will tillvgraf from thar. Ef your name is what you jwyit is. you may go." The train soon reached the station, and the minister, followed by a crowd, sought the telegraph office. "How will this do?" said Mr. Mul­ kittle. * 'Have arrested a man for one • Nick Payton. Says that his name is the Rev. Mulkittle. Do you know him?' Now," continued the minister, "sign your name to this and send it." The officer, thoroughly satisfied with the arrangement, affixed his signature and handed the message to the opera­ tor. A few moments afterwards the dispatch was received in Little Bock as follows: "Have arretted a man for Nick Fey- ton. Says that his name is Bobt Mulk- miller. Do you inow him?" Mr. Mulkittle waited impatiently but the opera­ tor announced that the dispatch was u hand, and then he wrote the following. "Dont know the man, but think he is wanted here. Hold him uhtil officers from here arrive." Mr. Mulkittle'groaned and sank upon a bench. The crown gathered around and commented on kis appearance. "Bad lookin' man," said old Driver, the blacksmith. "Dangerous eye an' a mighty bad mouth." "Wouldn't trust him ten steps," said old Morgan. "Whar's old Gregg an' his darter? They can identify him." A messenger was sent for Gregg and the young lady who had been so shame­ fully treated. When the girl saw Mr. Mulkittle, she screamed and threw her arms around him. "Oh, Nick, don't try to disguise your­ self. Oh, why did you run away from me? Promise that you will marry me now." "Look out, Miss; look out 1 Mr. Mulkittle, trying to away. You are certainly a very im­ proper young woman. Don't make yourself so ridiculous. I never saw you before." "You kaint say that and tell the truth," said old Gregg. "You've changed yourself around a little, but you air the same man. I don't 6omnch mind that board bill he owes me, gen­ tleman, but I'll be blamed if any man shall tamper with the 'fections of that gal thar. A tender-hearted critter as ever lived, she is, an' this man lias pizened her life. She won't never be happy without him, an' I ax you ail ef you air goin' to let a man come into the community an' destroy the happiness of a likely gal. I wanter know ef yer won't see this wrong righted? I ax ef you won't all jine in an' make him marry this heart-broken gal?" , Here the girl pressed Mr. Mulkittle's head against her excited self and wept over him. "Look out, young woman," he exclaimed, freeing himself. "I never saw such an improper person. Gentlemen, I have a wife and three children at home, which, aside from the fact that I never saw the bold young woman before, much less made overtures to her, would place me beyond any possible matrimonial alli­ ance." "He's tellin' a lie," shouted old Gregg, "fur he told us he was a wid- ewer. Go fetch the license somebody, an' we'll make him marry, no matter ef the Governor does want him." "Gentlemen," implored the minister, "do no act in a manner so rash." "I'll git the license," exclaimed old Gregg, and he started/off at a trot. He soon returned with the papers and the circuit rider. "Take your place thar," said the old man. The girl seized Mr. Mulkittle and at­ tempted to drag hiih. "Great God! this won't do. Con­ found the telegraph wires; there must have been a terrible mistake. Give me one moro chance, gentlemeii. Send one more dispatch." "They agreed and he wrote; "Governor, I am arrested by mistake for a man named Nick Payton. Please say who I am. Mulkittle." In a few minutes the reply came. "First dispatch received wrong. Mul­ kittle is one of our best-known preach­ ers. Liberate him at once." "That settles it," said the officers. "You ken go." "Oh, ye generation of vipers," said the minister, as he stood on the rear platform of a train which fortunately came along, "I have prayed for the world's redemption, but I shall ever make an exception of this infernal place. Oh, ye generation of vipers?" --Arkatusaw Traveler. A In a collision on a Western road a woman was sent through the top of a car and landed at some distance in the brush. ) "Did any one see anything of a red­ headed man ?" she asked, raising her­ self on her hands and looked around in a dazed sort of a way. "Dressed in a black rait and a plug hat ?" inquired a physician who was ex­ amining her for broken bones. "That's him. He was my husband," replied the woman, eagerly. "What be­ come of him ?" "I am sorry to say he is no more," answered the doctor, with emotion. "He had a big black satchel," moaned the woman. "Has that been found." "I think that is safe," returned the physician. "Then I am all right," murmured the woman with a sigh of relief. "He was a drummer, and there is over two hun­ dred dollars' worth of rolled-gold jew­ elry in that bag. If you will be kind enough td bring it, I will open up and see if I can't induce the uninjured to patronize a poor, lone widow. Think there's a market around this wreck for that sort of thing? Wouldn't you like to go in and start a raffle for, say, fifteen per cent, of the profits ?" And the last seen of the speculatot she was sitting beside a man with a broken leg, pointing out to him that he had better take home a pink necklace, if he wanted his wife to forgive him foi not taking out an accident policy before starting out on such an evilly managed road.--Drakes Travelers' Magazine. Cheap Suits. A number of years ago a fellow who had driven some stock to Cincinnati formed a scheme to get a new suit oi clothes from one of the energetic dealers who so urgently solicit the man from the country to buy. He went into the store, after stationing several of his rascally companions where thev could look in, and ordered the finest suit in the entire stock. Just as he had got fairly into them, the gang out­ side, in accordance with their instruc­ tions, rushed into the store, brandish­ ing pistols and howling, "Shoot the son of "a sea-cook! Kill the blank scoundrel! Kill him! Kill him!" The man in the new clothes, affecting great terror, broke for the door, the gang following in hot pursuit, and in a very short time the entire gang was safe on the Kentucky side. The cloth­ ing dealer is still waiting for the sea- oook's son to return and pay to &C clothes. Quick Work. The man of the nineteenth century acorn* bent on annihilating time. At the Louisville Exposition, the Governoi of Arkansas wore a suit of clothes made from cotton which had been cleaned, ginned, carded, spun, dyed, worn, cut and stitched by the tailor, all in one afternoon. Forty-four hours be­ fore it was still unpicked in the cotton- field, five hundred miles away. As re­ markable an exploit was performed by a Missouri farmer, who gave his neigh­ bor griddle cakes and biscuits baked in four minutes and a half from the time the wheat was standing in the field. AnJ this includes a journey to and from the mill distant sixteen rods from the wheat A €Jyp«y Daaea. . The band disappears to make way for a Russian choir of thirty men and women, the women sometimes costumed in old Russian guise and now in modern silk dresses, and seat themselves, while the men stand behind them. The only instrument is a piano. With a long tremulous chord, the choir raise a chant of some old Russian legend, the deep basses of the men balanced by the sweet •soprano voices of the women combining in one grand harmony. As in all Slav countries,melancholy seems the pre-emi­ nent tone of the songs, which often end abruptly, as if the feelings of the sin­ gers choked their voices with one spon­ taneous solo. But e let them filo out without regret as they make their way for some forty gypsies, male and female, whose unmistakable Romany type is met with on the downs of Epsom or in the fair at Seville. The same crisp black hair waves over their dark almond eyes, long arched noses and thick, sen­ suous lips, as marked the brown fea­ tures of the priests of Isis on the tomb of the third Barneses in Thebes 3,000 years ago. Some of- the women are evidently Russian, with more Slav thati Zurgane blood in their veins, while come are dark as Abyfesinians, while all indulge freely in chains and jewelry, with bunches and sprays of roses and came- lias, like their sisters in Spain, behind the right ear. The men lead with gui­ tars, and the tambourine is often used. Some of their songs in gypsy language recall, and are even identically, the Gitana songs of Seville or the Havana; some are in Russian words, but with a character quite their own. One hand­ some woman, with black waivy hair, parted slightly on one side, flashing eyes and glistening white teeth, no longer young, but attractive in her in­ tensity of sentiment and expression, sings to her guitar in a tenor voice; the lower notes of which are replete with the saddest memories. As she sighs out her love-grief for one who never came, though she waited in the pitiless storm to meet him, she reminds me irre- sistably of Deschie and Pasca. This is no feigning; this is no paid musician. Here is a genius breaking her heart, and sobbing out her swan-song oblivious of the mute crowd of men, whose scoff and satire are silent in their absorbed admiration of her adorable art. Flow­ ers are torn out of button-holes, bon­ bons are seized from the table and cast at her feet, while she stands by dignified to acknowledge with a majestic bow the ovation proffered. Our host most ju­ diciously clashes on the strained nerves by calling upon Olga for a dance. Olga --whose eyes and little figure, dressed in a blue, clinging silk, and all she has of beauty, for her mouth is too large, and her nose too long--pretends to be shy. She cannot dance. However, no refusual is accepted, aud guitars and voices break out in a gypsy break-down. Olga, spreading outher arms and fingers like a Nautch girl, floats around the limited space assigned to her with a lit­ tle scream, and her eyes turned up in ecstasy and gradually works herself up. From her head downward, she is in mo­ tion. Her comrades urge her on, her audience applauds till, with a muscular flutter which approaches tetantus, her shoulders, bust and arms, are quivering with spasmodic excitement. Short, sharp cries, in harmony with the rapid music, issue from her lips; her face lights up with ecstatic joy. Suddenly she breaks off; the music ceases,and Olga reseats herself, as if she had done noth­ ing more laborious than taken a cup of tea, or asked for the glass of champagne which our host pours out for her. The Russian gypsy dance has little of the provocatively voluptuous character of the Granada Ole, but there must be some connection in the history of danc­ ing between the danse du Venture of the Almee and the fluttering spasms of the Moscow Tzigane. Another girl dashed into the circle, and emulated the first in breakdown steps and rolling of the eyes; but her power of muscular quiverings was nothing like that dis­ played by the phenomenal Olga, who aooordingly retained the iionors of the evening.--Moscow Letter. Apologies for Poor Dinaera. Apologies for poor dinners are gener­ ally out of place. But when a lady has a forgetful husband, who, without warn ing, brings home a dozen guests to sit down to a plain family-dinner for three or four, it is not in human nature to keep absolute silence. What to say and how to say it form the problem. Mrs. Tucker, the wife of Judge Tucker, of Williamsburg, solved the problem years ago. She was the daughter or niece of Sir Peyton Skipworth, and celebrated for her beauty, wit, ease, and grace of manner. Her temper and tact were put to the proof one court- day, when the judge brought with him half-a-score or more of lawyers, for whom not the slightest preparation had been made, the judge having quite for­ gotten to remind his wife that it was court-day, and she herself having over­ look theafact. The dinner was served, and Mrs. Tucker made herself very charming. Upon rising to leave the guests to their wine she said: "Gen­ tleman, you have dined to-day with Judge Tucker; promise me that you will all dine to-morrow with me.** This was her only apology, whereupon the gentlemen all declared that such a wife was beyond price. The Judge then explained the situation, and the next dav there' was a noble banquet. Moral--Never worry a guest with apologies. The Old Rush-Light. Young, and even middle-aged people, accustomed to the convenience of the modern lucifer-match, can hardly im­ agine the time when the tinder-box, with its clumsy flint and steel and broad brimstone matches, was the only means of procuring a light. Some people were more skillful than others in stnk- ing a light and blowing the spark and match into a flame; but often on a win­ try morning it was weary work with the servant who had to kindle the first fire if the tinder happened to be damp, or worn out, or the flint and steel "in a temper." Indeed, in many houses a rush-light was in some bedroom or other always burnt, so that in case of sudden illness or any disaster there might be a light ready. The rush-light, \iaving, as its name implies, a rush wick, was about fifteen inches long, and was burned in a huge perforated shade; it was the "farthing rush-light," which very poor people were said to use for other purposes than nigh-light. The picture of a half-starved seamstress in her garret would, in thoee days, have been incomplete without the thin rush-candle; but its flame was so feeble that I can hardly fancy any eyes could have served to thread a needle by it. IF a man does not make new ac­ quaintances as he a vances through life, he will soon find himself left alone. A man should keep his friendship in iiinitniaDMVBil. . A Twm rmmtrn KaUtivs to liiiU mOMta wad OntiUbfcsf IWr.Bto. The Chinese in Los Angeles are quite numerous and almost monopolize a cer­ tain portion of the city; they are quiet and orderly as a class, attentively mind­ ing their own business, but, neverthe­ less, always a target for the ever present hoodlum. Through the kindness of one of the city officials--a courteous lawyer and gentleman--we were escorted on a most interesting tour through "Chinatown," as it is called. Starting out at 8 o'clock one pleasaut evening, we called first at some of their stores; business being about over for the day, we found the>u in clusters, old and young, eagerly gathered about the counter, at their greatest of amusements--gambling. Not a word was uttered by any, so absorbed were they in their game, and, after casting a hasty and wondering glance at us, they ignored us entirety. Passing on and visiting many stores, we came to a restaurant al>out 10 p. m. f irst entering a small office, we passed in at a door to find ourselves in the dining-room; here, seated at tables, are several 'Celestials, quietly but hard at work on a dish of thick kind of soup, which they caused to disappear rapidly by throwing into their mouths with chopsticks. A fat cook busy at the stove is seen in the rear, humming a dismal air. The man who does the waiting being considered quite a musi­ cian, is called upon for music and favors us with a series of howls and groans which he calls a song; and then, on his one-stringed,instrument, he makes us feel generally 'ill. As the music pro­ gresses and the musician seems to warm up to his work, he howls like a dog and rolls his e\es widly. A move­ ment is heaTd above and, on looking for the cause, we find a dozen pair of sharp eyes looking down at us from above; thus, while snpposiug ourselves in the company of two or three China­ men, we realize that a score or more of them are about us, and we find that the apartment is, as it were, cut in two, thus giving two floors to an ordinary sized room, a ladder being u-ed to ascend to the sleeping apartment al>ove. Thus one fair-sized room can be used for a restaurant below, and lodge twenty persons or more on the shelves above; but they seem happy and con­ tented. As they are packed together in such a state, we wonder how they can emerge looking so cleanly each day; but they are particular about their ap­ pearance generallv, and carefully bathe every morning. t The night is wearing on,and midnight brings us to a dark, dreary spot, where, hand in hand, we are wonderingly led through passage after passage, first up, then down, until our leader knocks at a door, being answered by a Chinaman who, after a glance, recognizes one in authority, and quietly ushers us in. We find ourselves in a dimly lighted temple, a weii^l, strange looking place, with an altar. We are conducted to au apartment in the rear behind the altar, and there we find a singular scene. Reclining on couches smoking opium are the priesis, who at first look amazed at the intrusion, but soon re­ lapse into their stolid, fixed expression. One of the priests by request kept tell­ ing us his feelings as the smoking gradually affected him, and if he told the truth, as he probably did, he soon became too happy to talk, and the expression on his face certainly de­ noted intense and almost supreme happiness. We accepted an invitation to take some tea, which was very hot and with­ out sugar. The custom of offering hot tea to all visitors is a universal one among the Chinese, the omission of the courtesy being considered ex­ tremely ill-mannered. --JYeu> York Post. 0 Hardy Ferns. One frequently hears the remark made that plants do not succeed in certain gardens, but on inquiry it gen­ erally turns out that the plants selected have not been suited to the positions they occupy. Although some plants delight in abundant sunlight, others are equally at home in deep shade, and it is only by observation as to what con­ ditions are most favorable for certain plants, and selecting them accordingly that success can be achieved. In this locality, Wherever the situation is open to sunshine, bright-flowering plants are the favorites, and thus many of our gardens are kept gay nearly the wholo year round, the latest Chrysanthe­ mums not being long removed before early-flowering bulbs and many other plants are in blossom. But all gardens cannot have full south aspects, and it is refreshing on bright summer days to find instead of summer bedding plants gardens in shady places filled with the verdant foliage of liardv Ferns and of other plants that dislike sunshine. When well established it is surprising how effective even the commonest of our native Ferns are planted in shade, and how beautiful they make many an other­ wise uninteresting corner look; even little borders by hard-paved yards or ground beneath large trees where noth­ ing else will grow may be made cheer­ ful by means of Ferns. Get together a few of the largest and roughest stones that can be obtained, and a load or two of good soil; make irregular mounds here and there, and on these plant the Ferns. Intermix with them a few dwarf trailing plants, keep them well watered, and they will soon produce a striking effect.--J. G. ' 4 TCMB1BU Piemcr. has VknMUag Com tag; Maaatav-- - How to Moat It. Tbe rocent mysterious appearance* follow­ ing sunset and preceding sunrise have at­ tracted wide attention from students of the skies and the people generally. During the j days of recent weeks the sun seems to have ! been ol s mred by a thin veil, of a dull, leaden ! hue, wnich, as the sun receded toward the . horizon, became more luminous, then yellow, i then orange, then red; and. as night settled 1 down upon the earth, a dull purple. At first j it was thought these appearances were or- dinary sunset reflections of light; but it is | now pretty certain that they are either t William J. Ooughlin, of Somerville, Mass** says: In the fall of 187A I was taken with bleeding of lungs, followed by a severe cough- I lost my appetite and flesh, and was confined to my bed. In 1877 I was admit|fld to the hospital. The doctors said I had a.̂ Bfe in my lung as big as a half dollar. At ofte lime a report went around that I was dead. I gave up hope, but a friend told me of Dr. Win- Hall's Balsam for the Lungs. 1 got a bottle* when, to my surprise, 1 commenced to fee1 better, and to-day I feel better than for three years past. "Pstsp" at thm Ossltlom. The business man or tourist will find flrst- . , . . . . . . . . . o l a s s a c c o m m o d a t i o n s a t t h e l o w p r i c e o f f t V n « 2 ' * ° < t * 2 . 5 0 p e r d a y a t t h e G a u l t H o u s e , C h i c a r tomct, inwh.th the earth is enveloped or a . go, oorner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one blook from the Union Depot. surrounding Ktiatumof world dust. O * very small meteors. Prof. Brooks of tuc Red House Observatory, I'helps, N. Y., has turned his t^esio^ upon these objects, and Wev*or; all appoint^nte fl l̂sss. discovei.l what he thinks are myriads of H W; HoYT< Proprietor. my teles opic meteors. If it is unorganised world dust, or decomposed vapors, as the Dem ierat and CHrtmiat, of Rochester, N. Y., remarks: "How is this matter to be dis­ posed of? Will it settle and form a deposit up >11 the earth, or remain a partial opaque Eholi ubout the earth, to cut off a to.-t:on of the sun's light u^-on it:" Whatever the mystery Is, there is no deny­ ing that some very strange forces are at work In the upper airs. The terrible torna­ does and cyclones which have swept our country, and the tearful volcanoes and earth­ quakes which have destroyed so many cities and thousands oi: people--the tidal waves which mysteriously rise and fall on coasts hitherto unvcxed by tnein--the tremendous activity which is evident in ths sun by the constant revelation of enormous spots upon its surface--all indicate unusual energy in the heavenly bodie*. TLese citc.imstancM recall Prof. Grim­ mer" s prophecies, that from 18H1 to 1387 the passage of the live great planets--Mars, Nep­ tune, Jupiter, Uranus and Saturu--around the sun would produce strange and wonder­ ful i henomena. He says: "The waters of the earth will become uiore or loss poisonous. The air will lie foul with noisome odors. Ancicnt race* will disappear from the earth." Ho attempts to pit»vc his prophecy by the fact that in 1T20, when Mars and Sat­ urn made their passage around the t-un oo- incltfciitally, great destruction and mortality visited all parts of the globe. He also lound the same results in previous perihelion pas­ sages of the planets, and argues that these circumstances always produce epidemics and destructive diseases which will battle the skill of the most eminent physicians; that the poor will die by thousands, the weak and in­ temperate falling first, those whose blood has been impoverished by excess of work or dissipation next, and only those who are in comparative vigor shall escape to enjoy the era of renewed activity and prosperity whioh will follow the period of destruction. Inasmuch as the entire world foams subject to the sway of the heavenly bodies no part OF the earth, he thinks, can escape scourging. He even predicts that America will lose over 10,000,0 0 of people: that furmers will be Stricken with fear and ccase to till the soil; that famine will make human misery moro wretched. That hundreds will ilee to over­ crowded cities for aid in vain. That sudden changes in Ocean currents, temperature and surroundings will entirely transform the face of nature and climate of countries: that the air will te so foul with malaria and o:hor noxious gases, that those who survive will be troubled with disorders of the digestive organs. That many who escape other ills will bloat with dropsy and suddenly pass away, while others will grow thin and drag out a miserable existence In In­ describable agony for weeks. Neuralgic pains in different parts of the body will tor­ ment them. They will easily tire and become despondent. A faint, hot teellng will be suc­ ceeded by chilly sensations, while halluclna- t ons and dread of impending 111 will paralyze all effort. "Tho birds In the air, the beasts of the held and even the fish of the sea will be­ come diseased, poisoning the air and poison­ ing the waters of the globe." We are told on tbe other hand that those who shall pass through this period of trial will have larger enio) ment of life and health. Tho earth will yield more abundantly than ever before. The an. in a) kingdom will be more prolific and life prolonged very materially. This prolonga­ tion of life will be owing to the healthy eieetrlc and marnettc influences that will pervade the atn.o»pl ere. It would, perhaps, seem that the prereut. redness of tho sun, and the presence of a b?lt or veil of cosmic mat­ ter, Justified, in a measure, the prediction of Prof. Grimmer, but disturbing as h s predic­ tion may be we arc told for our comfort that the strong and pure-blooded need have little to fear in the*c calamities, that those who are i dclk-atd or indisposed should a lo.jt means to keep the system well supported and the blood pure and that the most philosophical and effect­ ive method of aot o npllsh ng this is to keep the kidneys and liver in good condition. From the testimonials of such men as Dr. Dio Lewis and Prof. K. A. Gunn. M. D., Dean of the United States Medical college. New York, and thousands of influential non-professional peo­ ple, it seems almost < e tain that for this pur- FO c there Is no preparation known to science eyi al to Warner's Safe Cure, better known as Warner's Sale Kidney and Liver Cure. This medi.lne has acquired the finest reputation cf any preparation that was ever put ujion the market. It Is a radical blood purifier, vhl h soothes and heals all hit a ned organs, sticngthens the nervous system, washes out ail evidences of decay, regulates divrestlon, prevents malassim.lat on of food in a philo- tophkal and rat onal manner, lor titles the system aca nst climatic changes and malarial influences and the destructive agettcics which seem to be so abundant In these "evil days." It is not our purpose to dispute thecorrcct- ness of Prof. Grltnmer's prophec es. As wc have said, the marked disturbances of the past few years wo'iKl seem to give a sem­ blance of verification of his theory. It is certain, as above stated, that we are passing turough what may be regarded as a crucial per oi and It is the part of wise men not to ignore, but to learn to fortify themselves against the possibility of being overcome by these evils. It is a duty which eaeb man owes to himself, and his fellows, to mitigate as m i ch as possible the su trcring of li u tun n ity; and in noway l-citer can hte accomplish this put*|H>BC than to sec to it that he, himself, is fortified by the best known preparation in the strongest possible manner, aud that be exci t the influence of his own example upon his icllows to the end that they, too, may sha'-c with him immunity from the destructive lntlucucc s which fcek his ruin. (Talversally Approved. J. A. Rogers, M. D„ of Kenton, Oh o. sa^s: I must say Warner's White Wins of Tat Syrup has been universally approved by mj customers: never hear any complaints about it here; sold it for years. Puna Cod-Iirer OH, made from selected livers on the sea-shore, by CASWKLI^ HINM & Co., New York. It is absolutely pure and sweet Patients who have once taken it prefer it to all othera Physicians have de­ cided it superior to any ox the other oils in market FOR three wint?rvl have be?n afflisted wits Catarrh and Cold iu the Head. I used 'Ely's Cream Balm: it aecomp'lshcd all that was represented. T. F. MCCOBMICK (,)ud re Com­ mon Pleas). Elizabeth, N. J. (Pries cents. > TUAT mtL cxrsx-- riocMi by U» f Alien's Lug I the formla wm _ ( iu. W« km kfe kttar that It a4 rooffa able n CONSUMPTION. Wm. C. Dim. Mar-rbast, of BvwHtf Green, V*., writ* April 4, Itol, that h* wants m u» kaew nrHI fck Milfcw lanptlM, mftm lit iky-•ician M fim W n InctiitUc. !l« Myt fttKm itnowiojf War CMC kn taken tlM Balaam ami Wm tirri. lie thinks aii aoaf-ttcUd tbould five H a trial. •f tfc* an t iStC NW. TFC« Laag HM| cant MimITtenSS many ilkl M M» thUk CHAPPED Hands, Face. Pimples, and rough Skin, cured bv using JUNTPKB TAB .SOAP, made by CASWWX, HAZABD & Co.. New York. FIRST effectual, then good to take, then cheap--Piso's Cure for Consumption. THERE IS talk of lynching the man who evolved this toast: "Our flre-ongines, may they be like old maids--ever ready, but never wanted." • MB. OUVKR MVKRS, of I ronton, O., says: "Samaritan AVrcine cured me of general de­ bility." EMKR80N said: " There is always room for a man of force." He had probably met Sullivan in a crowd.--Kinderhook StiUt, ALLEN'S LUH8 BAL8il Is harmless to the most deUeat* eMM? Ik . oontKins no Opium In any form! "J| RieomnKtM by XliyiMftat, axl R«m«. IkMlf , ,! try body wbc ha* given It a good trial. U Jfcrw fell* (• .1 * •' RtHtf. # ^ As an Expectorant It Has no Kqmri. 'Sl >f SOLD BY ALL MEPIC1XE PKALMBL . w, THE FIRESIDE. Matrimonial Pnwr. FIKESIDK PUB-O CO., NYwtou Lpper RhOS, Masa. „ $250 A MONTH. Agents Belling article* in the world. Addresa JAY BSONSON. Dnaorr. YouneMenft?£Sr%: areolars Ire*. TJLLECITXK BROS., Jan PATENTS r • } .MRbasso* "IT quiets the patient and ultimately cures him." A late encomium on Samaritan tfcrvint. "I AM the power behind the throne,"solilo­ quized the mule, as be pitched his rider heels over head to the ground.--Fulton ltnia. The Best In tho World. Dr. J. W. Hamilton, of Merrillaa, WIs ̂ says: I have sold Warner's White Wine Tag Syrup for years. It is the best oough medi­ cine in the world and has no equal for asthma. FROM Oal. C. H. Mackey, Thirty-second Iowa Infantry: I have derived more benflto from Ely's Cream Balm than anything else I i.ave ever tried. I have now been using it for three months and am experiencing no trouble from Catarrh whatever. I have teen a sufferer for twenty years.--C. H. MACKBY, Sigourney, Iowa, Feb. 32, '82. A BALDHKADKD man, who has heard that tho hairs of a man's head are numbered, wants to know if there is not some place whore be can obtain the back numbers. Car- bollne will supply the demand. Ira oough disturbs your Sleep, take Piso's Cure for Consumption and rest well. GERManI^MEM RheunMdiim,Cfleur&gUt,_ Sciatica, Lasihais. SsskaAs. NtaisB*. TuisOi, ui tu ornsa soaiLY rsiss ASS AOMB. am h i--i*---•* *t»j coat MS* Wi wd.M la U l.n|"l" THE CMAKI.ES A. VSWEUttt <». • M A . vousua*c»> swwi.ai,! mm d® a Marriage. Mr. Joshua Billings quails not when saving that "Marriage is a fair trans­ action on the face ov it; but there is quit i too often put-up jobs in it. Who­ ever it wnz that first put on the silken harness must have made a good thing of it, or so menny of their poster ty would not hev harnesed up since and drove out. There iz a great moral grip in marriage; it is the mortar that liolds the so8hul bricks together. But there ain't but few pliolks who put thare luonej in matrimony who could sit down and give a good written opinvun why on earth they cum to did it. Hum marry for money and don't see it. Souie marry 1 ceause thev think wim- min will be scarce next year, and live to wonier how the crops hold out. Sum marry for love without a cent in their nor desperate, game " Testing on Arkansas Senator's Stomach. : A United States Senator who is fond of a joke had been initiated into the mysteries of an alleged caramel, which one of the boys of his hotel had in­ vented for the purpose of making miser­ able the lives of other children. The Senator owed Garland, of Arkansas, one, and &aw his opportunity. He pro­ cured some of the alleged sweets and placed them carelessly on his desk. The game succeeded. Garland spied the deceptive chocolates, and, carelessly sauntering by, picked up one of them and said: "What are these, Senator?" "They are caramels. Take one." "Thank you; I will," and he took one. Now, the caramel wai filled with soap, and the jokers expected to see Garland spit out the nauseous stuff. That was where the laugh was to come in. But Garland disappointed them. He ate up the whole thing, soap and all, and never made a sign. The perpetrator became frightened and ran out into tbe cloak-room, exclaiming: "Good Lord! I'm afraid the man's poisoned." "Oh, you needn't be alarmed," said Butler, of South Carolina; "Garland's got an Arkansas stomach." To this day no one knows whether Garland tasted the soap or not.--Washington Capital. A Valuabl* Medical Treatise. Tbe edition for 1834 of the sterling Medical Annual, known as Hostcttcr's Almanac, is now n-ady, and may be obtained, free of cost, of druggists and general country dealers in all A SPECIFIC FOR BT EPILEPSY, SPASIS, 1 fiamums. FALUM SROESS. IT VITUS Iie--Mit-pla 111 WW VMIVh| HMRWVUVai IPIQI EATMfi, SMtmiLUIIMETll, ISLY BUM DISEASES, DTSPEFSUL NERYQUSIESS, SI6K KAOAOIE, IjtEUMATItM. IEBY0OS fEAUESl KifOOS PttSTIATiOl BIAJI WHY, BUN S6KS, BIU60SIESS, mSTIYEKSS, KMEY TROUBLES All MESOIAIITIES. MT$1,50 per bottle.'VB Por testimonials and clrcnlao send stamp. Tim Dr. S. A/Richmond Med. Co.| Props., (U) CMnspondence freely answered by Physicians, (told by all Draggiata. / OC it, nor a 'riend in the world, ( purtsof the United States Mexico, snd indeed drop of pedigree. This looks In everv dv llzed p .ition of the Western em- 6, oat it iz the .tragi), ot tne • j over one-fifth of a century. It combines, with - j the soundest practical a Ivice for the preserva- __ I tlon anfl restoration of health, a large auiount JL Voice from tae Northwest. ' of int 'los ing and ainusi g lii;ht reeling, snd nr __ .. .. a ,. , .'the <-alen<lar, astronomical calculations, chro- MXLWAUKEE, WIS.--The Daily Sentinel, , noiotrical items, &c., sr ; prepared with great which is the leading morning paper of this care, anri will be fou id entirely accurate. The State, writes: "8t. Jacobs Oil, the wonder- : ° Hostetter's Almanac for IBS* will prob- AGENTS WANTED for the host sn.l fsstest-selllna Pictorial B >ofcn air! Bible*. Pricesredueed SJ percent. NATIOXAL PCBLI«HIJ>G l'o.. Chicago, 111. STKEL KMiKAVlNOH for XMAS or Scrap BnokN fiw tor nostago, 41 cents. Bend to BROWN, Box II. H., Philadelphia, l»a Lay the Axe ?to the Root If yott would destroy the can­ kering worm. For any exter­ nal pain, sore, wound or lame­ ness of .nan or toast, use only MEXICAN MUST AMU L1NI- MO PATENT, HO PAT! R.S. & A. V. LACBY. Patent t. Attorneys, Washington, P.O. ?' Full iDStxnctixBS and Hand-Book of Patent* sent fraa ORGA: Want AGENTS I la every County. _EMPLE OF MTJBIO, 8t4to Street, CHICAGO. nan tuxia mm mmM a«Mah» Wfete>, - A k M * t o I I _ •W wmk, w... ... _ ^ w»iii»i nU awl pMMM' . _ •kMaifriw, • . a ft -Y umti reHilai 1 MUL gOML .bm a feSfrrsNaaif ass tho--aa«a eC eaaes et ipMitMl f. o. tMfra. ACOCVM. M rooRftp3< Hoeaitftal rwilwt »« wi.l Smrt jtm ialSs * * atlas sag thea have them Man , raawSr to enr* the worst MM. ..... • iinSy. Bapme as* M Oa«. a «SM f ANBSTMTT MJNEAI MM. l̂ BABYLAND.̂ ft* airtKadm Ov Lfidi MM ui WMH a&! MS THE PANSY WIDE A WAKE. £5 Address P. LOTHBOP k 00.. Boetoa.Masi. J - C" ThaOMwtNsdiclnein the WwM«g. , . ; prafcaM* lie. lain* TkAaiuil f < '•Mratri En fib Ibis article la a carefully v&nand ghjttdaalsB**". srription, and haa been in « -- century, sad notwithataodlni, _ stiODH that have been introduce sS • of this article ia eonr nct oa» are followed it \ invite tbe attention ot ft •~yjx -r Ci , • sa • of this article ia eoMtwttr lections are followed it wffl M larly invite the attention of pt Jmhn L. raiimwis, 0mm , ffirwiflii anAT.» ifc ""mm MSAOTELT THE BEST. JP alwirttiy | world. SeaS aw trial. tis«fteIllntosM total- „ . •tissisS ŝsSs IKLASTIC TRUSS " ' C "ffl. iiljii ta^taaBpSJiS •»' • f a « M y , a * B » l a f l i a a s v - . •tlwhliiaiiaMl a» aasansi. aaaawMilin m ful remedy for rheumatism, has been used by a large number of people in this eity, and win effect truly marvelous." FENILCN, in his younger days, rigor­ ously and inflexibly condemned all novel reading, not foresgsme: that he %aa to write " Telemaqne. . ab:y be -tue largest e lition ot a medical work ever < ublish"(i in any country. The proprietors, Messrs. Hostatter A Smith, Pittsburgh, Pa., on ever < ublish"(i in any country. The proprietors. receiptor I cent samp, will forward a copy by mail to any person who cannot procure one In his neighborhood. TMRRK is not always honor among thierea. A aocicty reiiorter Is something of a pirate himself ̂yet he tpmffUjr attacks prî ata it pene ele and flesh to the very bone, expelling all inflammation, soreness and pain, and healing the diseased part as no other Liniment ever did or can. So saith the experience of two generations of sufferers, and , HOP I PLASTER) j Idsrfal ia ewrlagdlMMaewhOT ' This poroos plaster is | absolutcl? tSt tat ever I made, corabialag tbe I •irtucn . I hops wi&l Cams, baixunj and ex-1 TRACTS. »I U WNIMTWFHL I , ... other plasters tisply relieve. Prick ia the __ Keck, I'm: a in the Side or L!mba, SUIT iointa and Iwdia ladnry Troubles, Rhsaaurtisaa, Katuaî la, gate Cheat Affections of the Daut and L£ver, aadall or achea In my oart eared inrtaatly by tha Bop Hiids HT1*9 a m. mm -- •*> Prt?3» centa or fiv* foe $L«a. • ltaOcdoa receipt of prion. 8o!J by all aad eaauhy atena Bop ft nan- Osm i Pror-rie*o«% Sactoa, lhia, LAME BACK tyTor eoMtipatlan. lose of appetite aad dlsMMsaf tha beweli take flawless gtoaach aad UverPlIK Bw«ta CATARRH ELVB CREAM BALK • *i .<>r rirenlar. Price SO rent*, b • naail orat _ ELY BROTHERS. Druggists. Oweeo, N.T. ,*v r ... fef* .Jut. 6*. • . C.N. U WKIT1NQ TO

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