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M DOCTO*. Uwdoetor: mark bl« mt gram. ̂. kmStar mto> ttwt il*M* athoojrhful feee, iWHHtai owr tit* wdl-wrtobed bed, (•WMtriuiKWreet« hl« wawry bead; ttntmrtilii JaMi rthat It Mtrti dlMnbi tb< eplder. 4 hew are we title morning? but eo, so. MM «M sot mucin a tor, jwm know; ̂TTo* you My, bat poorly through the Dot better toward moraine--that's all right: ent of th« pa 1M is eomewhat ILLINOIS. spec it let me tec vour Tongue. There, tbst will do. „ M'JI be a new man in a day or two; jk weather is you, damp and raw-- like of it I think inev rfcwrj 'on want a little rest ami change of diet: lood nnrrtng ahoy* all. and rWCnt qntet; fan. m the whotis bext kWp mar toed to-riair, Knd don't let business tremble yon, by the way. • Itver'n somewhat torpid, nothing more; Inmint; take your mixture as bctors." ; Hence to the witor, write* a mtaa hit. load, bowinc blandly, takes hie leave end tee. • V % % S t a r . h&rl T ' ' on Mi clothes tin. St. John TEST, M$_WIFE.IY It was In olden times, before croquet lawn parties were in vogue. When good wife wanted a few friends to 1 at her ample board, for a social a quilt--there was always one on -Swaa stretched upon the frames, larder stored with good things, and Invitations were sent far and near for :?^lihe ladies to meet in the afternoon, With gentlemen and tea in the evening. «4* Behold, then, a goodly number gath- «red In the front room of Farmer f G-ood win's house, matrons and maids; %bnt the latter were expected todo little .^Ifork, and they gathered iu groups on £i the piazza or strolled through the yard. " ifeighbors' affairs were talked 'over, and housekeeping fully dis- and occasionally a choice bit of t news of a more interesting character made known. On this particular occa­ sion it consisted in the fact that St. John v. as going to marry. Some glanced up in surprise, but matter-of- ; t feet, Mrs. B. exclaimed, "How do you . -;know?" I've heard that story so often ||i to lose all faith in the report." . "Oh, it's a fact this time, for Miss told me herself that Abigail St. John had engaged her to come and sew for her three weeks. She is to have , her black silk made over, and has one ; or two new ones. She expects to go r ' South with an invalid friend; but you all know she would never leave her brother unless there was some one i touting to take her place." (V All concurred that it was a good ^ajhrng. They did not consider Bliss Abi- , nil jast the person to make her brother ' nappy. True, she was a good honse- Mkeeper, but then she was a considerable '^©f a scold, and St. John was such a ' 'mild, pleasant, kind-hearted man, how had he ever borne with it? Such a f ,-Contrast, too, to the first Mrs. St. John. 81 John was a general favorite-- had a pleasant greeting for '•very one. So the elderly ladies re- ^ftnitrked; and as for the younger ones, • j feertainly his handsome face and agreea- * *|§>le manners were attractive. The lady j fleet was next in order. "Folks say," continued Mrs. 8., "its widow Granger's daughter over at Ijttmville. At any rate St. John is as ' seen to atop there quite of ton of "Well, perhaps shell make# good "* " the lady's glance rested for half jte on her own daughter, who iris steading by the window, "but I've beard she's a proud, highsprnted body." l|j|. So they chattered on while . Miss tmjiigtil in her pleasant sewing-room i Stitched, all nnoonscious of their dis- ^jparaging remarks, her thoughts going #fttt to itie new home in the far South, and her heart rejoicing that her days >4|ttfae farm were over. Miss Abigail ;;<i|asrly loved her brother, and at his re- ... quest, five years before, gave up her llfwn home, came and tended the sick wife, and had since kept house for him. "'rfiho had carefully concealed the skele- ton--tor this house was not exempt irom one. St. John was unconscious of it. Miss Abigail knew. In her en- eavOr to make the best of it, she felt losing her own peace of mind d serenity of temper. She had found it, and so had the young wife who now slept*so quietly in the churchyard. For ^fiut instant the sister's heart went out in f 'fcity to the young girl who was to take ' tar place. But it was not for her to 'Mve b^: warning; and Rose Granger, ' toher cozy village home, dreamed bright .4rearns of a future strewn with flowers. * ^People might harp on the ills of life; for her part she dW not more than half - ^ .believe them. It was their own fault, Ithey brought them on themselves; but .A ahe, oh, it would be so different! And ^ ; #he bright air castles rose. ' Yet she was not without the range of . ^:the gossips' tongues. They were busy I" • Jfi*t Plumville, too, and Hose Granger, % |#i1calm, self possessed young lady though -she was, had not failed to note certain looks and mysterious nods, although i #«' ^apparently oblivions to them, and n |*ainly she wished, as so many others *t -• --have done, that people would not in- ; f' terest themselves in her affairs. One v£*P1(i lady, presuming on her age and , long acquaintance to offeft a little ad- $ gf* ^ce> remarked to her some day: . "I wish you much happiness, and you fe.^bave apparently made a wise choice, i John is intelligent, and owns a : H good property, so you can have every comfort you wish, Then, too, he's gjgp agreeable aad Mnd-hearted. But ; trouble comes in an lives; all men have II® their faults," -- then missinterpreting V the expression on Rose's face, slie con­ tinued, "but I don't wish to frighten you, my dear; I've no doubt you can manage him." "M*nag® him!" exclaimed Rose •eornfullv. "I loathe the idea. No woman who has any respect for herself would stoop to such maneuvring." "Very fine talk, my dear; but to let yon into a matrimonial secret, most wives have to; they would have a sorry lot if tbey didn't." ROM'S lip curled, and she deigned no The words " - preparatory to cisterii ptunp was brok ing in she disoovered that the was empty. She met her trasbaad em his return with: "What am I todo? I've everything ready for washing, and there is not a drop of water in the cis­ tern!" ' * St. Sohn smiled at her look of dis­ tress, and replied: "And hasn't been for years; the cistern leaksw" § "Why! what did Abigail do f ̂ f "Used well water, I suppose." : • Sis wife made no reply, but, gather­ ing jap the clothes, said: "I will wait till we have rain," and carried them back to the closet. St. John was a little abash­ ed at her manner, and exclaimed, "I'll have it repaired right away. I meant to have done so before.* So Rose washed dishes and Cleaned the floor in well water, and the pile of soiled clothes accumulated in the closet, but no rain came. One day St John came into the sit­ ting-room, where his wife sat reading. "Where have you put my shirts, wife? There is not one in tho drawer." Rose laughed. "You'll find them all in the clothes-basket, I guess, waiting for rain" "But--but I've agreed lo go to Ben­ ton on business, and this will hardly do to wear;" and he glanced disconsolate­ ly at his soiled linen. "Couldn't you cleanse some water?" he asked, hesitat­ ingly. "Abigail used to, I believe." "I never did such a thing in my life," replied Lis wife. "The lye makes onos hands so sore. Besides, it hurts the clothes; they never look nice and white. I've heard mother say one or two wash- jngs in cleansed water would ruin clothes. Then, it's such hard work to wash in it; I don't believe I'm strong enough to do it," and she returned to her book. St. John wasin dismay. Go hemust; and he was fastidiouly neat in his per­ sonal appearance. Rose finally glanced up at his troubled face. "Go over to our neighbor's, and ask her for a pail of rain water. She will not think it strange that we are out, there has been such a droughth, and IH do yon up a shirt in a short time." "Bless you, wife! Where's the pail ?" and St. John started of "1*11 stop at the village on my way to Benton." "How about the mason?" inquired Mrs. St. John, the next morning. "Bless me! I forgot," replied her husband, "111 be sure to remember it next time." rs* But next day there came a rain, and all the tubs, pounding barrels and pails were put under the eaves, and there was water enough for the present; and the trouble having passed, St. John was not the one to remember it. He never looked so far ahead as to ask, "What shall we do next time?" A new difficulty presented itself to the wife. She went into the pantry, and in lifting down a pan,splash! dash! die was drenched with water. "What's the matter?" "The *oof leaks a trifle," replied her hUsband. "I think it is a trifle," murmured Rose, as she examined the ceiling more closely, and saw the drops oozing through. "I wondered," she said aloud, "what made this plaster jso loose. It will rot the timbers, won't it?" "Of course, but I intend to have the house reshingled." "Does any other room leak?" she asked. "Yes, the spare ehara"--but his wife was already half way up the stairs, for the day before she had spread her light silk upon the bed. "Just it timel" ahe exelbimed as she snatched it up. But oh! the white spread with the ugly stain across the foot! "What shall I do?" she asked in dis­ may. "Ill get a couple of pans," replied her husband, who had followed her up. "That's the way Abigail managed." "I declare," laughed Rose, as the pans were deposited under the leaks, "I st>all catch water enough to last the rest of the summer." # St. John felt more ashamed than he had ever been in his life. "Rose, yon are not a bit pnt out, and how Abigail used to scold! I dreaded rainy weath- ' , ^ , reply. The words came to mind the ^ 1 W **** time "he met St. John; but of his handsome face and 5Sf*:. J "v fipawcling eyes dispelled all unpleasant te';T ftoaagbts. That face spoke to her of a perfect manhood; yet a close observer of Imman nature would have read in , > that easy nonchalant manner, and be- { „ H neath that glanoe, a certain lack of en er87- Not that'St. John was indolent. ^ quite the reverse. He was always busv • and full of plans, but he lacked tfc" perseverance necessary to fulfill them Some other time would do; meanwhile something else was in hand. Time glided by, and one summer -4Y evening Mrs. Si. John arrived at her ; now home. Miss Abigail remained Mr with them a few weeks; then, early one Monday morning, her brother carried W' to ah* depot and after their depart- -3 V , } t t n / > , * % "Why don't you get it repaired?" "I did intend to, I will, now." "I don't wonder Abigail scolded," thought the wife. "Five years in a leaky house! I won't scold, I don't be­ lieve in it; but" Let us go down to the parlor now, and I will finish that book," remarked St. John. So rains and leaks were for­ gotten, and husband and wife spent the afternoon cosily while the storm raged outside. St. John had to leave home on busi­ ness, to be gone several days. Rose carried him to the depot, and hastened back. She thought she would hurry with her baking, and then drive over to her mother's and spend the afternoon. The bread was quickly moulded, but on going to the wood box to replenish the fire, she found it empty. Out she went to the wood pile, but not a stick was to be found. St. John had gone off in such a hurry he had forgotten it. "What shall I do?" she exclaimed. The bread cannot be wasted." Search ing around She found a rail thftt looked easy to cut, and procuring a saw, she set to work; but it was not until half an hour's hard work, that she had enough to finish the baking. "Believe I am too tired to think of going to mother's;" and while she hesi­ tated there came a tap at the door. I saw your husband go off this morn­ ing," remarked the neighbor who en­ tered. "I suppose you would be lonely, and so thought I'd drop, in and spend the afternoon." An easy chair was offered, the old lady drew forth her knitting, and the more rapidly she knit, the more talka tive she became. She inquired in re­ gard to Abigail, and then spoke of the years she had spent there. It was so sad about his first wife,yon know. She was one of the prettiest little bodies you ever saw, not grand and stately like yourself, but a wee mite, with a baby's face, white and pink. Sho was very trail. She used to say she wasn't sick, but she grew thinner and weaker, and BO sad-looking. If she had not had s<tch a generous, kind-hearted husband, I'd a-thought it more a trouble and worry on her mind than any physi­ cal ill. But the ways of Providence are often mysterious, and she died, though I don't believe any dootor could tell what ailed her, and Mr. St. John had the best h® could get. They called it general debility. Then Miss Abigail came. She kept a neat, tidy home for her brother, but then her disposition was so different from Mrs. St. John's. We were all heartily glad when you came." The young wife kept a pale faoe bent over her work, and was glad when her visitor rose to go. After her departure, Rose put aside all thoughts of her mother's, and getting her sun bonnet, •trolled aoross the fields t&ll she reached the o< St. Sohaa* names ot hk parente, and was another nameless grave; high grass X™™ over all, mid a half-droning rosebush with a few fading blossoms/' Poor little Amy I* Rose dropped be- the grave, but not to weep. "Hie dead was at rest, and lor herself, tears would not avail. Six weeks a bride, and her future already overcast. "Mysteries of Providence!" she mur­ mured. and for a moment hard thoughts toward her husband filled her mind. "I see it all--a weak, quiet person, ahe worked, with her inconyeniences and annoyances, bore all, and said nothing, and at last her strength gave out. Ab­ igail scolded and failed to mend the matter, and I--I must do. I always1 said all people have their failings, afid of course my husband would have hiss but I really don't believe it. I fait St, John was perfect; but unless He does differently, my life will be wretched. Mine is not the nature to die, or scold and fret; but to live on and have thing* move in this slip shod manner is im-i possible." "Who is that?" inquired St. John, they aat at the tea-table the evening his return. "Oh," replied his wife, "it's only Mr. Reese. I have hired him to stay for 4 week and cut wood." St. John looked up in surprise, "You left me without any the otho^ morning, and I had to cut for my bak­ ing. I am not used to that ki&d of work." "I know I did, but I never once thought of it until after the cam had started. I did feel troubled to know what you would do." "And," continued his wife, "I went to the village yesterday, saw the mason, told him the cistern needed repairing; and that you would expect him over aa soon as you came back." St. John gave a low whistle.\ It waft something new, this taking liberties with his arrangements. His wife saw. his face clouded. "And no doubt you have engaged shingles for the roof." The tone waif worse than a blow. For an instant her heart sank, but rallying quickly, she lightly replied. "No, I expect you to do that to-morrow; and mind," she added playfully, yet in a voice of deter-i mination, "if you don't I will. I.must' have a coiftrenient house to work in; You don't want me to scold, or die."--; "Die!" he exclaimed, "who talks of dying?" * "Or what is worse," she continued, unheeding his interruption, "lose my love and esteem for yon. Yon thinK these things are trifles, maybe, but con-, sider they must go a good way toward making my life comfortable and happy." Later, when the evening shadows were gathering, Rose joined her bus* band on the piazza. "I was over to tha churchyard the other day, and itlookeq so neglected." "Yes, I know, that's another of thg things I've meant to do. Really, Hose, I believe you will think my life ha* been all 'meant to.'" "We must get some one to re-sod the lot," she replied, "and I will plant some flowers." There »v ere tears in St. John's eyes, and he murmured, "POOP little Amy!" Rose came close to her husband. "I wish you would tell me about her." He glanced at her an instant, then went on talking ; of the dead, finishing as others had done--"Such a mystery!" Buij Rose saw tho wife with disappointed hopes, and only a long life of worry and unnecessary toil before her, and she wondered not that the frail life died out. But it was not for her to tell him.' "Never too late to mend," St. John said when he came back from town. I've engaged the carpenters, Rose, and the shingles will be here to-morrow. The old habit was not broken up at once, yet St. John soon, found that whenever he failed to have a necessary thing done, Rose hired it. After some years Abigail came back on a visit. "How well you look, Rnse," she remarked to her Bister, "as young as when you first came." 'Happiness does not tend to make people grow old," replied Mrs. St. John, "and my life has been very hap­ py, with fewer cares than fall to the lot of most women." 'Do you know," continued Abigail, "that I dreaded to have you come, in fact, I pitied yon? But you seem to have found no skeleton such as troubled 'Or rather," responded Rose, "I found and buried it"--Woman's World. It .Wasn't His Lucky Day. "I'm in luck!" exclaimed a rather "loud" young man as he stepped up to an old gentleman in Brooklyn. "I just picked it up," he said. " Why, it isn't a pocket-book; I thought it was though." The farmer's attention had been at­ tracted. "It's a1--a--a pair of kids," said the lucky man as he unrolled two gloves, "and 111 behangod if there isn't a ring in this finger," and he held up the left-hand glove to remove it. "I guess it is a ring," ejaculated the old man as the glove was being turned wrong side out. "Certain t and you're in kick, too, my friend," said the young chap as lie pulled out an exceedingly heavy plain gold ring. "You were along with me when I found 'em, and I'll do the square thing. We'll RO halves on it." 'Til take it," said the old farmer, and he placed the ring and the gloves in his breeches pocket. "I'm kinder short of money at the present time, but come down here and 111 borrow it from my son-in-law." "But how much have you got with you now ?" asked the sharper uneasily. "Oh, never mind that. My son-in-law is a sergeant down at, the lockup, and he'll lend me the full amount," replied the farmer. The lucky man disappeared--New York World. Die "Ohio Man" in the Orient. Aa we started up street from the ho­ tel we enjoyed the privilege of seeing two Japanese gentlemen meet, ami were startled by hearing the one salute the other with ' Ohio!" "What!" I gasped, "can it indeed be that the Ohio man is in the Orient try­ ing to monopolize everything here as well as in his own country? I suppose he is waiting for the Mikado to die or abdicate." But I have discovered the significance of the salutation now. It is the equivalent of our "good mornit^g, and should probably be written "Ohaio," although pronounced like the name of the Buckeye State. Etymologi- cally, it signifies early morning, and may, perhaps, be reg'ardsd as a Japan­ ese paraphrase of the familiar Irish salutation"The top of the morning t > y*.n--Correspondence St. LOTUS Glcibe Democrat. ° , JLTOUL. FROM reoent experiences the pear seems likely to take the place of the fipple.aa the fruit moat easily grown. It baa been, the past three years, a mora certain hearer than the apple, is less affected by insects, and has no disease exoepting blight, which may be kept in check by prompt cutting away of affected parts. Low GROUND iron OBCHAUDS.--It is claimed that experience has shown pretty conclusively that the healthiest and best bearing orchards are those on low ground, where the blue clay comes near the surface. By low lands it is not meant that on which water stands in wet times, but comparatively, low lands that need drainage. GET a. Wnrn-Miix.--Every farmer OF any means should no more think of de­ pending upon the old pump to supply water for his stock than he does on the old antiquated machinery to use in his farm operations. On a hot, dusty day, or on a cold day, it is alike unprofitable to drive the herd a long distance to wa­ ter. It is a loss of time, and very often is detrimental to the cattle. Good wind-mill power will give you water in a very convenient WJ^, and will keep it constantly in reach of the stock, as it should be. SUPKBFLUOUS FARM HORSES.--Almost all farmers are overstocked with horses. They keep too many to do the work that will pay for doing. What they do keep are not often the best. A poor work team makes every farm operation more expensive, besides often delaying seeding until the crop is very doubt fuL It is almost impossible to do good farming with ppor horses. But when five or six horses are kept the year through to do the work that should be done by two or three, when two men are paid wages and boarded to do the team work that should be done by one, it is easy to see that whatever is gained by grain growing is more than hjst be­ fore the grain can be realized in money. --Iowa Homestead. PARTIAL SOILING.-- Soiling, which must yet become the system for stook feeding on high-priced lands, does not necessarily involve an abrupt changp from entire pasturage to entire soiling. In most cases a gradual change would probably be the best, since few farmers would be prepared to change their en­ tire pastures to other uses. The Hus­ bandman (Elmira, N. Y.) gives the practice of a New York dairy farmer who practices partial soiling, finding it "very satisfactory for the three years he has been following the plan. His pas­ tured afford partial sustenance to his cows and afford ground for exercise. But he gives one full feed each day from crops grown for this purpose. Rye sown in the fall furnishes the first and earliest fpod; then oats sown in the fall furnishes the first and earliest food; then oats sown in plats in succes­ sion, followed by corn planted at suc­ cessive periods. He estimates that one acre devoted to such crops furnishes as much food as four or five acres of pas­ ture. He is caroful to have each plat large enough to last till the next is ready. If not all needed for feeding green it is cured for dry fodder. But he emphasizes this point strongly, that ground devoted to suoh purposes should be made rich, so as to produce the max­ imum growth. This partial soiling could be experimented by anv farmer in the next year without involving any violent change in his method3 or risk of loss. If found satifactory the system could be extended just as far as found profitable.--Farmers' Review. AGRICULTURAL ECONOMIES.--The prof­ it of the future is to come in avoidance of wastes of the farm. As the country grows older, land dearer and immigra­ tion heavier, competition waxes fiercer in all agricultural production. A ruin­ ous share of the hay is lost, first, in cut­ ting when ripened to woodiness or dried to liurdeueu hUhum , luuu iu g'iviu^ it out to sustain life and animal heat, rather than for fat and flesh. Corn is also thrown away by insufficient or in­ judicious feeding. There is enormous loss by keeping a poor cow that yields 300 gallons of milk per annum, instead of one that produces 600 at about the same cost. One may bring- the owner in debt, while the other affords a hand­ some profit on the expense of keeping. A cow that gives milk only from April to November, and runs dry when forage is costly and milk is dear, should have a fe# months' extra feeding, and go to the butcher as soon as possible. That a cow is dry for more than six weeks is the fault of the owner in not procuring "the survial of the fittest," and again, perhaps, in procuring ample and suc­ culent food at all seasons Avhile the milk habit of the young cow is forming. The loss in milk and meat, by irregular feed and a change from fresh pastures to a straw stack and coarse hay during an inclement season, is an irreparable waste which is projected into the suc­ ceeding summer without regard to the abundance of its pasture. The losses from negligence or want of skill in the preparation for market, the manipula­ tion or manufacture from raw material, is enormous. Milk of the same quality, of the same co3t, making butter at fif­ teen cents and at half a dollar a pound Mixed fruits sell in market at half the value of assorted samples neatly put up The pig products of a famous Massa­ chusetts farm are disposed of in New York city at twenty-three cents. Skill, taste, neatness, and a well-earned reputation for reliable excellence get the highest rewards--give better divi­ dends than the capital and labor repre­ sented in the product on which they are expended. There is solid money in these intangible valuables. But the wastes that may be avoided are numerous in every department of agricultural prac­ tice, and cannot be hinted at in a para­ graph. They are illustrated in the dif­ fering costs and selling prices of the products of adjoining farms in every neighborhood of tho land.--New York two tablespoon fuTs of MMi piiwh 01 WBS. RBEVBS, of Memphis, Missouri, had a tomato vine covering 200/square feet and bearing 3,W0 tomato** JIOUSEKEErEBS? HELPf, "FEFBAMDMOTHBR'S MlNUTE PUDDING.-- Let some sweet milk come to a boil then stir in flour wuich you have salted this must be done very briskly or it will be lumpy. Stir ©very moment un­ til the pudding is about like mush. Serve while hot, with sugar and cream. flavor the cream with nutmeg or vanilla. DRIKD PEACH PIE.- -An excellent pie can be made of dr ed peaches. Let the )«oohes soak in oold water all night, stew them in the same water until so t-oft that you'oan mash them fine; add for one pie two tablespoonfuls of sweet cream atid a little more than half a cup of sugar--too much Migar destroys the flavor of tl»e fruit. IJutter may lie used in place of cream, but if possible use cromu, it gives such smoothness to the filling. t CKHAM CJAFI:.--Beat three ounces of butter to a oroam and mix with it very smoothly v one half pound of potato ; flour, a taaspoaaful of baking powder, •alt, tbe rind of « lemon (whieh has been well rolled to aoflen) ctioed very thinly, and a teaeupfulof dotted oream. If a little sour it improves rather than injures the flavor. This should makes alight batter. Place it into a well- oiled dish and bake until brown. OYSTERS AND MACARONI.-- Brown several slices of bread in the oven, then, pound them to crumbs in a mortar, and, having thoroughly buttered a bak­ ing dish, sprinkle it with the crumbs. Then put in a layer of oysters that have been slightly stewed in milk and but­ ter thickened; put next a layer Of maca­ roni that has been boiled twenty min­ utes; then succeeding layers of oysters and macaroni to the top of the dish. Sprinkle more crumbs on the top, strew about bits of butter and brown quickly in a hot oven. OYSTKR LOAF.--Take a small loaf of bread, cut off a slice from the top; then with a spoon remove the inside of the loaf, leaving the orust nearly but not quite an inch thick; make a very rich oyster stew, pour a little into the loaf to moisten it; then put in a layer of oysters, then of bread crumbs well salted and peppered, put the top crust on, and set it in the oven in a dripping pan; wet the crust with the yoke of an egg, or with sweet milk in which you have put a little sugar; serve hot; let it remain in the oven for from fifteen to twenty-five minutes. . APPLE JELLY.--A very good apple jelly for every-day use can be made as follows: Get nice, juicy, cOoking ap­ ples, pare, core and cut them in quar­ ters. To each pound put half a small teacupful of water, three-quarters of a pound of moist stfgar, the rind of half a lemon cut very fine. Boil gently three- quarters of an hour, or until soine cooled on a plate will set quite firm. Have a china mould well wetted with cold water, pour the jelly into this and tie down, as jam, if not wanted at once. The apples should be stirred well and mashed fine with a spoon while boiling. If properly attended to, this jelly . will be clear and firm. r ' ' •£ Giraffes Fightingi > The author of "Under the the Sun" humorously describes the giraffe as a "sky-raking animal that passes its life looking out of a forth-story window." This zebra gone to seed has such an original method of fighting that the wild-beast-killing Romans used to amuse themselves with combats be­ tween two giraffes. The giraffe has neither claws nor tusks nor beak nor sting nor poison- fangs nor sharp teeth, nor yet hob­ nailed boots. So when it is out of temper with one of its own kind it does not fly in the face of Providence by trying to scratch its antagonist's bowels out, as a tiger might, or toss it like a rhinoceros, or peck its eyes out like a vulture, or sting it like a scorpion, or strike it like a cobra, or fly at its throat like a wolf, or jump on it as the costermonger does. On the contrary, the giraffe, remark­ ing that it has been provided by nature with a long and pliable neck, termin­ ating in a very solid head, uses the upper half of itself like a flail, and swinging its neok round and round in a way tha£ does immense credit to its organization, brings its head down at each swing with a thump on its adversary. The other combatant adops precisely the same tactics; and the two animals, planting themselves as firmly as possi­ ble by stretching out all four legs to the utmost stand opposite each other hammering with their heads, till one or the other fractures its skuH or bolts. Their heads are furnished with two stumpy, liorn-like processes, so that the giraffes, when busy at this hammer and tougs, remind the spectators somewhat of two ancient warriors thumping each other •vfith spiked they used to carry for that purpose at the end of a ohain. Still Puzzles the Children. "What is in those big brown paper packages that came to-day, mamma?" Oh, nothing, ohild; nothing but-- but soap." "Then why don't you let me see it?" "I don't want to open them until washing-day." "But Jane is out of soap and is going to the grocery to get some." "I forgot; it is not soap in those bun­ dles, but starch." When does Christmas come, mam­ ma?" "Next week." "Who brings the presenUppI? < Santa Claus." j.. i, "How does he get in ?" ; , "(Domes down the chimney." . "But we have no chimney in tuS par­ lor where the Christmas tree is to be!" No, I forgot; he comes up the heater flue." But hoW does he get through the little holes?" He is very small, and can squeeze through anywhere." "But dolls and carriages and drums and sleds are not small. How does he get them through ?" "Oh! please don't bother anymore; mamma is tired."--Philadelphia Call. The English Sparrow apd the Robin. Where did you come from so early?" said the English Sparrow to a Robin Red-breast, one cold February morn­ ing. From a lovely orange grove in the South," replied the Robin. "Well, yon had better have stayed there," said the Sparrow; "we shall have more snow, and what will the Robin do then, poor thing?" "Look here!" said tho Robin, "I'm a natural born American, and won't stand any suoh airs from foreigners;" and so saying he attacked the Sparrow so fiercely that his lordship was glad to slink away and hide his head under his wing, poor thing. "Well!" said the Robin, after his declaration of inde- Kndenoe, "I think I had better go ck, after all; it does seem rather stormy, and it's always better to take good advice, no matter if you don't like tho way it ia offered."--Si. Niefalw Almanac. in Snnday School. •Wow. boys," said a teacher after reading about Naaman, "can yon tell me what a leper is?" "YLw, mom." promptly spoke iq> small lad. "Well, what is it?" "Sure an' it's a bullfrog, mom.* "Why, no it isn't. What do you mean by replying in that way?" "Doesn't a bullfrog jump mom?" "Of oourse he does." "Well, thin, isn't he a lepper, sure?" 1 Question referred to oommittee on claims and class adjourned.--New York Journal, THJC best pen wiper is a' piece of an old kid glove. Vo lint sticks in the pan-nihe as'from One morning, whtte wnitlngfor the coach, an old OaHlonfift miM* m a very vivid description service as he ramomlMMA ft years ago. Not in the wild mountain regjioea where we were--fortheaewereaMhatthnean unbroken wilderness--but on tho groat plains where the Paeifie Ballxoadrau so smoothly. In thorn days a heavily laden wagon starting from the Bastem States took six months toorossthe con­ tinent, and emigrants traveled in large companies for security. So it waa reckoned a great feat (equal to Jules Verne's "Round the World in Eighty Days") when a party of keen, hard-rid­ ing, fearless men resolved to carry let­ ters from the shores of the Atlantic to those of the Pacific in fourteen days, and carried out their promise in the face of all difficulties. A company was formed, known as the Central Over­ land California and Pike's Peak Ex­ press. Almost the entire distance from ocean to ocean was divided into runs of sixty miles each, and at all such points rude log huts were erected, as stations for the pony express. Here the most experienced scouts and trappers--men noted for their horsemanship and cour­ age--were placed in charge of strong, swift ponies, selected, like their riders, for powers of enduranee and hardiness. They were a cross' between the stout, sure-footed Indian pony and the swfit American horse. Perilous lives these men led, in constant danger of attack by highway robbers or wild Indians, but the wages paid,, by the oompany were sufficient to secure a staff of determined men, hard as nails, and accustomed to face danger and death without shrinking^ Twelve hun­ dred dollars was the monthly wages of an express rider. Of course, under such circumstances, the postage was high, the charge on a quarter ounce let­ ter being $5 in gold. The total weight carried was ten pounds. As a commer­ cial speculation, the experiment proved a failure, and, after running steadily for two years, the express company was found to have lost $200,000, at which period it collapsed, leaving no trace of its existence, save a few ruinous log huts. The telegraph being then completed, its continuance being no longer deemed necessary. On the east the railway was already constructed as far as St. Joseph, which consequently was the first pony station on the New York side. The vast expanse of the prairie and mountain lying between St. Joseph and San Francisco had to be traversed in 240 hours, which was reckoned "good time," and no mistake about it, the distance being fully 2,000 miles. Once a week a messenger started from either shore of the great continent. Spurring his steed to its utmost capacity, he gal­ loped over hill and dale for miles at a stretch till ho reached his destination, where the next expressman was wait­ ing, ready to start without the delay of a moment--the incomer net waiting even to dismount, but tossing the precious little bag to its next guardian. Then man and beast enjoyed a well-earned rest till the arrival of the messenger from the other direction, when they started on their return journey. So marvelously punctual was this mail service that the last man generally de­ livered up his charge within a few mo­ ments of the time fixed, notwithstand­ ing all the troublous chances it might have encountered on its journey of 2,000 miles, of what might truly be called a "great lonely land." The gen­ eral post, with heavier bags, reached California via the Isthmus of Panama, to which point 'steamers ran twice a week from New York and San Fran­ cisco. From one city to another was a whole month's journey. The arrival of the eastern mail was a signal for a wild excitement in San Francisco. Merchants eager for their business letters, miners longing for a word from home, rushed to the postoffice the mo­ ment the guiS was fired to announce that the steamer was iu the iiurbw, each eager to take up a position as near as possible to the postoffice window. In a few moments a line was formed, per­ haps literally half a mile long, of anxious letter seekers, and late arrivals knew that hours might elapse before they could hope to get near the win­ dow. Then a sort of auotion com­ menced, and men who had rushed in and secured good places inthe front of| the line (often without the expectation of a letter, but simply as a speculation), sold their position to the highest bid­ der. Five, ten, twenty pounds, were sometimes paid down by eager men, flush of gold, rather than wait five or six hours for the letters they longed for, but which, too often, were ex­ pected in vain, and grievous, was the dissappointment with which, At last,' they turned away. Some were even so | anxious that they took up a post at the window hours before the steamer ar-> rived, even waiting through the night, and, after all, were compelled to abandon their position and go in search of needful food. Perhaps at that vera moment the firing of the mail gun called them back, to find a long linet rapidly forming, at the end of wliicty they liftd to take their places with tliej prospect of again waiting for hours' What a different scene from the San( Francisco of to-day, the busy, bustling} vast city with its intricate postal ser-r vice, daily mountains of mail bags, brought from and dispatched to allj corners of tbe earth, by railways, steamers, and sailing ships.--Gentle* man's Magazine. Tbe Greatest Hatch Making. It would more than repay a day so­ journ at Jonkoying, says the Pail Mal\ Gazette, to visit the factory whencq proceeds not a small part of the light of the world. The latest novelty is an enormous engine, which daily produced 1,000,000 boxes of Swedish matches} Thin wonderful machine received tho raw material, blocks of wood, at onci end, and, after a while, gives up at the other the matohes neatly arranged in their bos*ss. ready to bo dispatched to the uttermost ends»of the world. The wood which in the course of last sum­ mer was brought over to Jonkoping to be made into matohes filled twenty steamers and eight sailing vessels. Marriages in Switzerland. An analysis of the number of mar­ riages in Switzerland, published by the Statistical Office of Berne, shows that the proportion is very low as compared with other countries, being about 7.4 per 1,000 inhabitant®. Of every 1,000 men and 1,000 woman of marriageable age forty-nine men and thirty-eight women aro married. The figures show a falling off in marriage, and also an increase in dhfprce. The causes are said to be religious differences and au increased m'xtu'-e of races. "What's the reason you never call mr to practice medicine in your family?' a«ked an impecunious physician of r tatizen. "Because, when I want a quad I con buy a duck eheaper," was the sat- faical reply.--ifetwum Independent. TUB short-tailed mnle irtfa* neigh-bob. MALMB is the whip that drivea- to the doviL . THE fellow who was batted bj * sheep had a "wether beaten" appear­ ance. ; * AVAMCK hi the grim and faimahinf spectre that robs hunger of all but death. RKLIOIOW is the bough upon whieh faitii reals after a flight upon Che wingi of hope. _THB Marquis of Bute Is worth WW,000. That's a pretty good pile to be made by aa ̂tl̂ haa^any matli sense than to spell boot with a "tL* magarine has an article on "What wai tho Coming Girl Wear?" If she marries a country editor, she will probably wear a paper collar and* hungry look. Own hundred and three thousand one hundred and nineteen head of sheep went to Chicago last wimft This shows where newly-married pee* pie go on their wedding tours. A SUBSCRIBER wants to know "What is the best thing for the itch?" Wo have always had our under-garmente lined with nutmeg-graters when affiiet- ed with that malady. It is a great saNFr ing of the fingers. IT requires four men and a barrel cream-colored paint to keep Bar train's "white" elephant from showing tho color of sheet-iron. Barnum ought to have him nickel-plated so the cofajr wouldn't come off every time it rains.' "WHY can an old dog fight better than a young one?" asked Smith of J ones. "Because his teeth are longer ?" "No." ^ "Because his hide is tougher?" "Not right yet." "Because his baek ia stiffer?" "Jfo; try again." * "Because he can get more of the young dog in his mouth than he leaves outside to fight with?" "No; because ho most enrage." fFrom Texas Silting*! - "OVER the garden wall"--the flying boot-jack. " .j, LITE is a game of cbanoe and DeaRlt oasts the die. A GROCER who sella on credit ia * trust-tea man.. ^^ THE time to re-tire--when the tire is worn Out. THE onion-eater will always be fouttflf in the front rank. > THE close of winter--Flannel unddfifr* wear and overcoats. • THE key to the political situation in . many states--whis-key. A FAWN-SKIN could never be sold cheap, because it is always a little deer. IT IS said that Ellen Terry has four hu3bands living. She must be a Teny- belle masher. THE Hon. Wm. M. Everts' remarl|(t» bly long sentences make him a great Mister-E. to many people. THOUGH the plumber may have tho greatest antipathy to onions, he alwajs likes to have piety of leaks. THE French are a great and fgftedi people. They are cognizant of 365 dif­ ferent ways of cooking eggs, besides sucking them out back of the barn. Ninon de Leuclos says. "What mill­ ions of time lovers waste ?** This is not. strange, as . that is their buaineM. Young lovers generally take time to waist. IT is some gratification to know that* if we are compelled to die before cer­ tain mean people, we stand a chance jgf turning to dust which may blow injlii4 their eyes and vex th^m. Met hlnks a question I have heard. Which sounds like this one: "Whea'e a V Noss a pretty climbinit flower?" When it has Jthe enflnensa. ,. Peijphance yon think the answer is To pay the ieast a stunner. Unieen you Know ihe uower luDiui, Is called a "scarlet runner." Rot for the Rituals of Civilization.** The religion of the ancient Egyptian! ' had some features not to be found m several of the religions of these times. Here, for example, is a passage from a prayer to be found in the ritual for tho dead: "I know you, Lord of truth and jus­ tice; I have brought you truth, I have committed no fraud against men, I have not tormented the widow, I have not lied in the tribunal, I have not done any prohibited thing, I have not commanded my workmen to do more than he could do, I have not mado fraudulent gains, I have not altered tho grain measure, or falsified the equilib­ rium of the balance, I have not ma<te others weep, I am pure." Another man thus cries: "I have given bread to him who was hungry, water to the thirsty, garments to the naked, and a home to the ftp** sakenone." 1 Still another cries: j! <' * ' < "I have protected the poor against the powerful, I have given hospitality to every one, I have been benevolent and devout, I have cherished my friends, and my hand has been open to him who had nothing. I have loved truth and hated a lie."--Swinton's Paper. The Death of George the Fourth. On the night of June 5,1830, having paid his customary visit to the marchi­ oness (Lady Conyngham), he retired to bed, without feeling any symptoms of illness; but at 2 o'clock he suddenly awoke in great agitation, and called oat for assistance. Sir Watben Waller was soon by his bedside and raised him up. "They have deceived me," ho whispered fearfully, his bloated faos wild from terror, his whole frame quiv­ ering ; then came the terrible cry, "O God, I am dying!" and with one short gasp he fell back dead.--J. Fitzgerald Motley. , . How to Prosoance "Reston." The word must be pronounced with due reverence. The aooented o of tho first syllable is not the ordinary short o, but the same prolonged and pronounced with a marked rever­ ence, *as in the kindred word God. These are the only two words in which the vowel has the peculiar sound; a true Bostonian, who properly appro- ciates Boston culture, always pains to make the vowel in the name of his sacred city fill the mouth as roui ly aa in that of his Deity.--r ~ enL Many oows in Franco are fed upon beet-pulp. An investigation into tho physiological effects of this food shows thut it causes the milk to increase i| quantity but deteriorate in quality. ^ A HEW fibre for paper making his |>een discovered in the dwarf palm df Algeria. Means have been found for utiliaang the whole of it above the roots. IT is one of the worst of errorq to pappose that there ia any other psUi^l safety except that of duty--Jfarisru. ™ is, msjl * , . J f &t - -