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• . . . . . . arg fJlamdeaUr 1. VAN SLYKE, Editor M It PuMslwi. MeH©®Y, - - ILLINOIS. • \ 1 ' CiilTSHKlX • ' • '-• #hl l*ck-a-day and marry c©ni**> 1#vviW •*» h»my fair love now? flta8 sh" lost her pret y toirior po|>, i.rr r njvrlitfive l> «w-wow? --ir r: " " pb* «ob« as if hrr heart would break, ' A Aa «he utokc the heart of ire: 1M 8 .I eaten a i iece o' hom -made cake, •4t§ » Or what can t!»e ma ter bj? ".*• %Ju prith c, my darllnc, tell me qniak, yi, j^8ay what is the ma;tor wrh ih c: • ; jh'»tJBare yon tro hvs erics--oh. arc vou sick? run f^r a loarued M. D.? ,» j:| Hi; J 1 ii r.-; , ^Oh, Oeorjts" she sraans, in wild denpaifci Y* * U * *^"Wi" m>' dorlinz Has cr bonnet, v 1 laid it there on the «at of the chair, An« yen went and sat ui on itf" e ? - J ulnze around with a drooping lMl| The ruins n&d ;oview, f iv *Wm #1 ck! Ti » • rok n s nnd of «;«£* And a creased ribbon blac! BKAUTlFlJL LAND O# NODb BY ELLA WHEELFE. Gftm*. end 1~ your head on my shoulder, dear. Your iie-'d liko t'io i;old--n rod, And we will bo sa l nu awav rom h?re To the beaut, tul laud of Nod. Away from lire's hiirry, and llnrry, anl worry, Away from earth's shadows and doom, To a wor.d of fair weat .er we'.l float off to- gcth'r Where roecs are always in b'oom. 3mt j>hr.t yonr eyes, and fold your baads, ^ Tour hands l:k the leav s of a rate, " • And wo will g > sailing to t IOSC fair lands Ttat never an a las shows. On tbe north and we*t they ar * bound by r st, On the south and th" east by dreaais, "Tisthe country id a', wi.cre nothing is r al, Bnt everything on y seems. Just drop down the cnrta'nsof your dear ©yes, . Thos : eyes lik> a brish*. 1> r.e-b 1', And we wil sh I out under •» ar-lit skies. To the land where thj .airies dwell. Down the river of sleep our barque shall sweep, T il it reach that mystical is e Which no man ha<h s en, but where all men iia e keen. And there we w II rause awhile. I will croon you a song as *e float a'ong To th t viiore isa is b osscl of G d, Then ho' for that lair land, we are iff for that far land. That beaut ltul Land of Xod. MAINE ROMANCE. Early in the first part of the last "tJehfnry, there lived in Wells, Me., a farmer named Fur bush. He made a clearing, as it was called, built a log < hat, married and commenced life in : earnest The Indians were troublesome, driving off cattle, burning crops, etc., bnt as yet they had not ventured very near the settlement, openly. Two '.4 children, twin sisters, were both born to them. While they were babies in the cradle their mother went into the * cow yard one morning to milk the cows, when she was seized by an Indian, her handkerchief torn frt m* her neck #nd jammed into her mouth to keep ner from screaming so as to arouse the neighbors, and her hands tied behind • her preparatory to carrying her away. .1 Next, a whoop was uttered to attract i the husband's attention. He seized his gun and ran to rescue his wife, only to * be smitten down by a blow from the - tomahawk and left for dead. They 1 next ransacked the house, taking what I they wauted, such as blankets, and pro- I visions, but omitting to kill, or over- | looking, tbe babies in the cradle. They then pet lire to the honse, which was seen by the settlers, who immediately went to their relief. They found the | man still living, though senseless. 1 They staunched his bleeding wounds, . | then went to the burning house, and in § the midst of the fire and smoke they could see the cradle with its living ^ ^ household treasures in it. With almost * superhuman efforts, and at the risk of A - their own lives, the cradle was rescued : : i f r o m t h e b u r n i n g h o u s e . T h e c h i l d r e n had been tucked so closely under the ,• covers that they were still sleeping • securely where their mother had placed them. Their names were Dorothy and "*4>3 Phoebe Furbush. Dolly, as she was called, married John Dennett and / Phoebe married Elisha Littlcfield. This ^ narrative I obtained from him in manu- : p script form. 4,^ After 20 year's absence, the poor, weary, worn mother of tho little twin J| girls made her appearrnee at the same • spot where she had been captured. But oh! how changed. Instead of the dense forest or huge stumps around the door, beautiful mead- . fc- ows waved their golden grain, and a good substantial house covered the same cellar where her own had for­ merly fctood. As she grazed intently on the tfcene before her, the well with its tall sweep aud oaken bucket caught her attention--the same old well she had helped her husband dig long years ago. Then turning to see the little rivulet that flowed along at the foot of the hill on which the honse stood there, also, changes met her view. A large saw­ mill had been erected, and immense ; piles of lumber, with their uncouth di­ mensions, adorned what was the beau- • tiful green hillside of her girlish fancy. But she, thi king that her husband v . and ohildren had gone from her sight forever, yet knowing that the lands be­ fore her were her own by right, gath- «red courage to knock at the door. A modest, neatly-dressed young woman came to the door, holding in her arms a babe (the babe was Joseph Littlefield, w . and the mother was Phoebe Furbush _ & littlefield, and lived on the old place). On seeing the babe all the mother na­ ture was aroused, and she cried out in bitterness of spirit: "It's my child! Give it toaiil Give >•.' me both of them!" 11 * At the sound of the well-known voice % shattered, prematurely old man came /, Jbobbling to the door, with the exclama- . tern: .» "It's her! My wife! The dead has trnly come to life again! The graves nro opened!" ; The scene beggars description. There A- stood upon the same threshold the hus- band and wife, young no longer, each looking intently in the other's face try- , ing to gather same fdint resemblance ; • «f to the young husband and wife who had Tseparated long years ago. The daugh- 'l ter also, who had heard the oft-repeated J»le of her mother's captivity and sup- V 4 ppsed death, was no less interested. r . After the first surprise, and order had ,been restored, the neighbors came flock- * ing into tho house to hear of her won- vJ • derful escape from her captors. Strange as it may seem, she had lost much of her native language, which she had not 1 ^ heard spoken for many years. Her story as follows: After tying her hands and stifling her cries for help by filling ; her mouth with her handkerchief, the Indians showed her a tomahawk and performed a gesture of scalping. This •\ T. was done to scare her into -ilence. They .v.;, had no thought of killing her. Her ex- treme beauty saved her life. The old :; Indian oliief who had planned her cap- W v tore was a widower of a few days, with A little baby boy to be cared for,-the mother squaw having died on her way 1 to the settlement. So this dark savago came to tlie conclusion that it. would bo best to secure this fair white woman for a bi iile. The baby was brought to her by the nfihuman wretch, whom she had seen prostrate her noble, youthful hits band to the ground, and then had seen him set fire 'o the hut, in which het iown darlings were happily sleeping face to face. The poor mother could not at first touch this little black thing; ^but its cries soon brought her to her Iself. She saw in it a deliverance from present death at least, and accepted it as sent from Heaven--for hard as her lot seomed, still she could not but be­ lieve that God was qver all. While the settlers were trying tosav* what they could from the fire and all w ere busy, the Indians skulked back into the deep forest, taking her along with them. They turned westward, and commenced their weary march through the wildernoss, stopping bj night only long enough to cook what little venison they could trap or other- wise secure on their way. After long months sf weary travel over broad for­ ests whose silence had never been broken by the sound of human voice save the Indian's, and where railroads and canals now carry their thousands, crossing streams of water in canoes where steamboats now go, they at last reached the great lakes, their home. There, then, must be her future home. After she had learned some ol their language, enough to understand what the old savage meant, he came to her and demanded of her to became his wife. This she refused to do, and prep­ arations were made to roast her alive. Still she was firm. After frightening her all that they could, they released 1 er to endure still greater sufferings. But time passed on, and the aged chief fell in battle. His sons hunted for her, and treated her kindly, but they re­ fused to grant her her liberty. The baby boy, heru adopted child, grew to be a man in stature, obeying and loving her -s a "son. It was the 'bright spot in her existence. The In­ dian women reverenced her as some­ thing more thnn human. She taught them how to cook, and nursed them when they were sick, and was consid­ ered by them tc be a sort of medicine Woman, or magician, as they called her. She might have been happy in her rude wigw/mi Lorna if the divudl'nl scene of her capture could have been obliter­ ated from her memory. Her ince sant longing for her own people at last took shape in a determination to escape from the Indians Dried venison was packed away for future use, corn parched, moc­ casins made, and such other prepara- rations as she thought to be necessary for an extended journey. On a dark night in the .'pring, when all around her vrere asleep, she silently stole away, traveling eastward toward the rising sun until she reached the Atlantic Coast. Here she met with set­ tlers, who aided her by purchasing such trinkets as she had brought with her. She at last found her home, only to find her husband on the verge of the grave, both daughters married, each holding in her arms her firstborn. Dolly's child was Joseph Dennett, and Phoebe'a child was Joseph I-ittlefield. ABOUT NIHILISM. Birthdays in Germany. An important matter in a German household is " the birthdays. Nothing seems to give more pleasure than cele­ brating one. The birthday of one of the housekeeping young ladies was in June. The night before a box came addressed to the lady of the house, from her home. Upon going down stairs at 7 next morning, wo were surprised to see no appearance of coffee, so, open­ ing the glass doors, %ent into the gar­ den, where a gay. scene presented itself. A large arbor was hung with garlands and white curtains, and in the center was a table covered with white, on which were spread the presents, and a huge round cake occupied the place of honor, surrounded bv a wreath of flow­ ers ; and in the middle a lighted candle was burning. Outside were two smaller tables, with coffee, cakes, etc., standing round which was a large party talking and laughiug. Upon seeing us approach they came forward to wish us good morning, and to enjoy our loc ks of sur­ prise. The birthday child fa substan­ tial maiden of 21) advanced blushing, with a wreath of flowers on her head. The young ladies of the house had been up early decorating the arbor, and mak­ ing things as home-like as possible for her on her birthday. The winter birth­ days were equally interesting. That of the lady of the house was then, and the sitting room was adorned with branches of trees from the woods, and wreaths .surrounded the tables laid out with presents. One table was devoted to useful articles, such as pots, pans, eta, and thdse also were surrounded by gar­ lands. At 4, company began to arrive, but with no invitation, although prepa­ rations in the way of coffee and supper had been made for above twenty, and it is a great disappointment if friends fail to appear. To Cure Diseased Plants. M. Villermoz, a celebrated French horticulturist, recommends the water­ ing of diseased plants with warm water, alter having previously turned up the earth, without touching the roots. The water that escapes from the bottom ol the f!ower-pot is at first clear, but it aiterwards becomes lightly brown and yields an acid reaction, to which M. Villermoz attributes the diseased con- dit on of plants, the hot water acting not only as a stimulant, but possessing the power of eliminating the acid sub­ stances with which the soil becomes impregnated. By this treatment, M Villermoz has seen almost completely withered plants restored to life in a short time, and he thinks that the same may be applied to plants in the open air. " Discouraging. . An Austin youth imagines that he is a great, elocutionist. His strong card is reading the ghost scene in "Hamlet." An ok1 actor was called in to express his opinion of the youth's fitness for the stage. "Don't you think I can do the ghost in 'Hamlet' pretty well ?" "I think some other character would suit you be'ter. You ought to have given up the ghost long ago." "Then you mean that I don't stand a ghost of a show of becoming a great ac­ tor?" "No, I don't think you stand a ghost of a show as long as you are alive." Texas Sijlinas. t Rather Peculiar. "Do you see that lady over there?" "Yes, I see her." "Well, there is something peculiar about her. She becomes a widow every day." "Every day? Does her husband die every day ?" » "He does; he isa barber. He dyes several times each day. You 4 JV«r Comparison* Brtwnen Banlt Auieihw. When you clear your tables of com­ mentators on your great blooms of Ni­ hilism allow an old observer to have a word also. Nihilism does not bloom in a day, and its fruit is not yet ripe. Let us compare our boasted "best govern­ ment in the world" with the "Kussian tyranny 1. There are not steam mills in Bus- sia grinding, in open day, terra alba and other poisonous elements for our food. 2. Poison in Russia can only be bought on proper certificates, which affords at least a clew to murder. 3. Houses of prostitution are not pointed out in a thousand ways, as through our secular and religious press, or such facilities given through adver­ tisements as increase the social evil, which by nature is oertainly strong enough. 4. Should a clergyman violate the chastity of his parishioners there, he would not be backed up by other cler­ gymen in the murder of the victims, to shield the purity of the gown, and save the credit of the church. 5. Obscene literature, which now more corrupts the youth of our country than all the pulpits can restore, is not allowed to flourish alongside Sunday schools and missionary societies. ti. There it is possible to get some­ thing pure in the menu and in the dr*ig stores. Oleomargarine is not allowed to be sold as butter, nor tea dyed with green coloring, and mustard, tilled with cabbage-seed or bean meal and poison­ ous coioring. Cheese is not made of the fat of diseased cattle, dead without the aid of the butcher. I give but a point in this horrid direction. The most ignorant and corrupt men are not systematicallv put on ju­ ries to suppress crime. The judges are not chosen by the roughs aud Nihilists. The whole force of law is in the sup­ pression of crime--not toward the sup­ pression of honesty. 8. Men are put in office because they are worthy--toot because they have criminal following. 0. It is not their interest there to keep the meanest men in the communi­ ty in power--to rob the treasury in or­ der still more to rob the productive class of the nation. 10. A man can have a just hearing in Russia outside of the autocracy. It is not considered fair play for the press to slander her best men and then refuse them a hearing in defeiise. 11. Will any man deny that with rare exceptions the press of America will wink at and circulate a known calumny for the sake of party success ? 12. I ask a hard question: Has not the press come to be the ruling power in Christendom, and is it not more cor­ rupt in America than in any other civil­ ized nation? 13. Is not our whole judicial, political and religious systems based upon the false idea that education will of itself make men better, showing the fallacy of such teaching? 1*1. If the salt has lost its savor, where­ withal shall it be salted ? I throw out these hints for thought­ ful mejCL--Cassius M. Clay. The Crow. This black-coated visitor is not very popular, though some kind-hearted peo­ ple have tried to say a good word for him. He is a great scavenger, being fond of meat, and not at all. particular as to its age; and it is common to say, when his trilie come cawing around the back meadows in the spring, "The crows have come after their taxes" (i. e., the farmer's dead lambs). Much as he likes meat, however, Cor- vus rather prefers grain, when he can get it, especially the tender and swelled grain in sown or planted fields; and as this is handy in the season of insects which the farmer would like io have destroyed, the good he might do as a bug and worm-killer is pretty much neutralized, in popular opinion, by his jnis -hief in the corn-patch. His defenders have maintained that he is only after the wormy grains, the kernels that have weevils, etc., in them, but naturalists who have watched him, and made post-mortem examinations of crows shot in the act of field-stealing, say that this is a mistake. Put a fat worm and a fat kernel of corn before a crow and he would probably eat both, but he would swallow the corn first. He is fond of eggs and does npt scru­ ple to rob the nests of better birds to gratify his appetite; and since the vic­ tims of his plundering are as apt to be the little ssingn'x of the woods and meadows as the favorite insect-eaters of the orchard and garden, the poets and the children join with the agriculturist in scoring black marks against him. On the whole, as a bird on the farm, the balance of evidence stands against the crow. The verdict that hands him at once to the shot-gun should perhaps have a "recommendation of mercy," for the thievish fellow may become an in­ sect-eater--in cold weather. The Norwich (Conn.) Telegraph tells the following curious Btory of a crow 4hat made himself familiar, and appar­ ently somewhat useful, last winter among a flock ^f sheep on the farm of Lor in Wilcox, about two miles from Oxford, in that State. A great intimacy sprang up ljetween the crow and the lambs, and the crow hopped about the backs of the flock with a deal of familiarity. So great was the attachment that the lambs ex­ hibited much uneasiness if his crow- ship was not perched upon one of their backs. Amid a storm, or at night when the flock was driven to the fold, the bird hopped upon the back of one of the sheep and went with them into seelter, and was seen in the same position next morning, ready to go out with the flock. The bird grew fat and sleek, and his plumage was bright, glossy and black as jet. Mr. Wilcox said his sheep never did better than they did last winter, and they were perfectly free from ticks. All birds and animals were created for a purpose, even the abused crow When tamed he becopies very familiar and interesting.-- Youth's Companion, Artificial Sea-Sickness and its Cure. At the suggestion of Prof. William James, of Harvard College, the late Dr George M. Beard, of New York, made same interesting experiments producing artiticial sea-sickness, and then reliev ing the same. By a simple mechansim a swift rotary motion was imparted to the body of each subject, which at once produce the nausea and vertigo that conn s from the roll and pftch of a vessel at sea. They were wholly unab'e to stand, and suffer the ordinary dis comfort already described. • Being put into the trance state, they were not only free from cerebral and ventral dis turbance, but seemed rather to en;oy the situation. He alt>o informed friend that he once put in^o a patient': , , „ m ve hand, on going to sea, a little disk, and guessed it first pop. --Texas Siftings. | tdd him that if he should be overtaken by sea-sickness on the voyage he would be cured by going to his berth and look­ ing intently at the disk. The gentle­ man was ill, as he anticipted, but explic­ itly and believingly followed the direc­ tions given. He went into the trance which continued twelve hours, and he was cured--Home Science. Faith In Popular (inllibillty. Faifh in the inexhaustible credulity of the masses lias been the foundation of many charlatan's fortune. At the time of the South Sea Bubble, when new projects of the most wild and pre­ posterous character found promoters with ease, an astute and audacious ad­ venturer advertised for subscriptions to an enterprise the nature of which was to be concealed for a certain time, and he actually made several thousands of pounds out of it, the people paying for shares with blind eagerness. With this adventurer deserves to be ranked the ingenious but unprincipled Ameri­ can citizen who has just been arrested for doing an extensive business in ad­ vertising all manner of enticing things to be sent on the receipt of postage stamps. Cases of this kind have oc­ curred before, but then tho impostors usually send something, however fraud­ ulent, in return for the stamps. This genius, however, had made no provision whatever in that way. He simply appropriated the stamps, and refrained from answering the letters; and though so redness swindle would seem certain to come to grief in a short time, he appears to have kept it up and made considerable profits by it, for several months. He also advertised largely through the newspapers, never paying them, but giving them references to aliases of his own and himself answering all letters inquiring about his character. The defect in his plan was certain sooner or later to become the subject of investigation, and the moment it was inquired into the truth came out. The number of swindlers who have waxed fat on similar but more carefully devised schemes is no doubt very con­ siderable. The rogues who engineer them rely upon the desire of most peo­ ple to get much for little. They know that the greed of gain often obscures the judgment, and that through all cool-headed business men suspect offers of the kind, remembering the Duke of Wellington's maxim that "good interest means bad security," yet there are always plenty ready to spring at any bait, if it is only gaudy and glittering enough. The so-called "sawdust" sharpers, who pretend to sell coun­ terfeit money, and send the victim a box of sawdust, act upon a shrewd knowledge of the baser elements in human nature. .They select for their dupes persons who are willing to be knaves themselves, and whose own knavery shuts their mouths when they find out the swindle. Probably no pro­ fessional sharpers would enter upon so very bold a game as the young man of the postage stamps played, for as they mean to make their living by their wits they dare not thus openly advertise their dishonesty. But the fact that such a trick should have been so suc­ cess ful, and that k should have been carried on for so long a time without detection, shows that the crop of gulls continues to be as 1 rge as ever, and that whatever else fails there is no pros­ pect of "shortage" in that line of pro­ duction.--New York Tribune. Changed Relations. "Now that we are engaged," said Miss Pottleworth, "come and let. me intro­ duce you to papa." "I believe that I have met him," re­ plied young Spickle. But in another capacity than that of son-in-law." "Yes--er, but I'd rather not meet him to-niglit." "Oh, you must," and despite the al­ most violent struggles of the young fel­ low he was drawn into the library, where a large, red-faced man, with a squint in one eye and an enlargement of nose, sat looking over a lot of papers. "Father," said the girl. "Hum," he replied, without looking up. "I wish to present to you--" "What!" he exclaimed, looking up and catching sight of young Spickle, Have you the impudence to follow me here? Didn't I tell you I would see you to-morrow ?" "Why, father, you don't know Mr. Spickle, do you?" "I don't know his name, but I know that he has been to my office three times a day for the last week with a bill. I know him well enough. I can't pay that bill to-night, young man. Come to my office to-morrow." "I hope," said Spickle, "that you do not think so ill of me. I have not come to collect the bill you have referred*to, but--" "What! Got another one?" _ 1 "You persist in misunderstanding me. I did not come to collect a bill, I can come to-morrow and see about that. To-night I proposed to your daughter and have been accepted. Our mission is to acquaint you with the fact and gain your consent to our marriage." "Well," said the old fellow, "is that all? Blamed if I didn't tlunk you had a bill. Take the girl, if that's what you want. But say, didn't I tell you to bring the bill to-morrow?" "Yes, sir." "Well, you needn't. Our relations are different now. I wish I had a daugh­ ter for every bill collector in town.-- Exchange His Wife was a J umbo. Two Jersey City farmers, Hiram Bau- man and Christopher Kaufman, were arraigned at the Tombs to answer a charge of intoxication. "Please, sir, let us go this time," ex­ claimed the former, "we "° Hold your horse, Hiram," interrupt­ ed his friend, " and let me do the chinning, for you might say too much and spoil all. Judge, we are two hard­ working farmers, and our old gals are watching anxiously for us to come home. Cheer up our hearts, sir, and let us de­ part." Your wives know where you went, why should they feel anxious over your absence?" asked the Justice. "If you knew my old woman you wouldn't ask me such a question." an­ swered Christopher. "We told our wives that we were going to a dying lodge member's bedside, and I suppose when we didn't turn up last night they went there and learned that we had lied. That suggests to mo another rea son who you should discharge us." "And what is that?" "You ain't a married man, Judge, or you'd know. I ain't afraid of my old woman, for she's little, but goodness help my friend, Hiiam. His wife is a Jumbo." They were discharged.--New Yorl World. MMt AMATEUR CARPENTER. Br BUI Nye. In my opinion every professional mac should keep a chest of carpenters' tools in his barn or shop and busy him­ self at odd hours with them in construct­ ing the varied articles that are always needed about the house. There is a great deal of pleasure in feeling your own independence of other trades, and most especially of the carpenter. Every now and then your wife will want a bracket put up in some corner or other, and with your new, bright saw and glit­ tering hammer you can put up one upon which she can hang a cast-iroi} horse- blanket lambrequin, with inflexible wa­ ter lilies sewed in it. 4 A man will, if he tries, readily learn to do a great many such little things and his wife will brag on him to other ladies, and they will make invidious comparisons between their husbands, .who can't do anything of that kind what­ ever, and you are "so handy." Firstly, 'you buy a set of amateur ioar- penter tools. You do not need to say that you are an amateur. The dealer will find that out when you ask him for an easy-running broad-ax or a green­ gage plumb line. He will sell you a set iof amateur's tools that will be made of old sheet-iron with basswood handles, and the saw will double up like a piece of stove pipe. After you have nailed a board on the 1 fence successfully, you will very natu- Jrallv desire to do something much bet­ ter, more difficult. / You will orobably try to erect ,a parlor table or a rustic (settee. I made a very handsome bracket last week, and I was naturally proud of it. In fastening it together, if I hadn't in­ advertently nailed it to the barn floor, I guess I could have used it very well, but in tearing it loose from the barn, so that the two could be used separately, I ruined a bracket that was intended to be served as the base, as it were, of a lambrequin which cost $9, aside from the time expended on it. During the month of March I built an ice-chest for this summer. It was not (handsome, but it was roomy, and would *be very nice for the season of 1884, I thought. It worked pretty well through March and April, but as the weather begins to warm up that ice- chest is about the warmest place around the house. There is actually a glow of heat around that ice-chest that I don't notice elsewhere. I've shown it to sev­ eral personal friends. They seem to think it in not built tightly enough for an ice-chest. My brother looked at it yesterday, and said that his idea of an ice-chest was that it ought to be tight enough at least to hold the large chunks of ice so they would not escape through the pores of the ice-box. He said he never built one, but that it stood to reason that a refrigerator like that ought to be constructed so that it would keep the cows out. You don't want a refrigerator that the cattle can get through the cracks of and eat up your strawberries on ice, he says. A neighbor of mine who once built a a hen resort of laths, and now wears a thick thumb nail that locks like a Bra­ zil nut as a memento of that pullet cor­ ral, says my ice-chest is all right enough, only that it is not suited to this climate. He thinks that along Behring's Strait, during the holidays, my ice-chest would work like a charm. And even here, he thought, if I could keep the fever ought of vSj chest, there would be less pain. I have made several other little arti­ cles of vertu this spring, to the con­ struction of which I have coVributed a good deal of time and two finger nails. •I have also sawed into my leg several •times. The leg, of course, will get well, but the pantaloons will not. Parties wishing to meet me in my studio during morning hour will turn into the alley between Eighth and Ninth streets, enter the third stable door on the left, pass around the Gothic horse and give the countersign and three kicks on the door in an ordinary tone of yoice.--Denver Opinion. The Founders of American .Methodism. Bishop Coke was by birth Welsh, having been born at Brecon, Sept. 9, 1747. In his seventeenth year he be­ came what was known as "a gentleman commoner" of Jesus College, Oxford, and after graduating had charge of South Petiierton parish, Somersetshire, and while there came under the influ­ ence of Metho .ism. The increased fidelity and earnestnes3 of his ministry excited so much opposition that he abandoned the place and joined Wesley in 177G, whom he equaled, if he did not surpass, in itinerant ministerial labor. In 1784 Wesley consecrated him a bishop for the Methodists in America, and in the same year he presided at the organization of the Methodist Episco­ pal Church at Baltimore, Md., and De­ cember 27 consecrated Francis Asbury bishop. Bishop Asbury was a native of Handsworth, Staffordshire, England, having been born there August 20,1745. His parents were pious Methodists, and trained him with religious care, so that, eays a biographer, it is no wonder that he was converted at the age of 13 years. Philip Embury, the first Methodist minister in America, was born in Bally- garan, Ireland, September 21, 1728 or 1729. His parents were Germans of the Palatinate, and he was educated at a school near his native place. He was converted in 1752, and in 1758 was en­ tered upon the roll of the Irish Confer­ ence as a preacher. In 17G0 he emi­ grated to America, but it is a matter of donbt whether he preached during the first few years of his life in New York. In 1766, however, aided by the advice of a pious Methodist, Barbara Heck, he organized a class, and began preaching, first in his own house, then in a hired room, and in 1767 in the "Rigging Loft," famous as the birthplace of Methodism in New York. A chapel was soon needed, and in 1768 the pioneer Meth­ odist ohurch was erected on the site of the John Street Church. Embury's tabors continued until 1775, when hav­ ing romoved to Washington County and started a society there, he died in consequence of an accident in moving. --Inter Ocean. ALL reports appear to agree that the most expensive hotels in all Europe are those of Yienno. All in the Meat. A wolf having fallen a victim to the t'ger, set up a loud lamenting and begged hard for his life. Ho made such a fuss over it that the tiger finally re­ leased him and bade him go his road, l'lie wolf was hardly a stone's throw iiway when he met u hare and pounced upon her. "Spare my life, as the tiger just now spared yours!" cried the hare. "Not this evening!" was the calm re­ ply. "'Tis true that the tiger spared mv lifo. but while he doesn't care a cent or wolf-meat, 1 am extremely fond of hure!" MORAL: When you appeal to the honor of a crook von make him tired. Detroit Free Preatt. Getting i Furlough. (Mr. Samuel F. Holbrook, late of the United States Navy, gives a racy ex­ ample (in his book of recollections) of tho proper way to get a favor from an oftic al dignitary in buttons and epau­ lettes. The directions may apply to visits at other headquarters than mili­ tary and naval. At least it is a suro rule that Courtesy, if not allied to in­ sincerity, smooths one's way, and opens doors otherwise impenetrable. A midshipman just home from a long cruise applied to tho commander of tho Navy Yard for leave of absence to visit his friends, who resided in Charleston, South Carolina. The old gentleman gruffly answered, "No, sir, your services are required in the yard." As the midshipman was passing down to his ship, venting his disappointment audibly, in rather unmeasured terms, he met Mr.P , the first lieutenant of the yard, to whom he told his trouble. "Ah," said Mr. P , "you don't know how to approach the Commodore. I'll teach you how to do it, and if you follow my directions, you will surely accomplish your purpose. Just wait a day or two--say till day after to-mor­ row morning--and then watch when he enters his office, and in a few minutes go in, make a very low bow, say, 'Good- morning, Commodore; how is vour health this morning ? You look charm­ ingly ; I have never seen you look bet­ ter in my life. Does your lady enjoy her health?' And then pop the ques­ tion about your leave." The young man followed out the sug­ gestion. On the morning appointed he watched the old gentleman as he enter-; ed his office, and in a few minutes knocked on the door and was admitted. He made a very handsome bow, and in the most polite manner commenced. "Good-morning, Commodore; how is your health this morning, sir? I think I never saw you look so well in your life." "Exceedingly well, thank you sir." "And your lady: does she enjoy her usual health?" "Excellent, excellent; I am obliged to you, sir." "Commodore, I should feel extremely grateful for a few days' leave to visit my friends." "Certainly, sir; how much time do you wish?" "About three weeks, sir." "Oh, take six, sir, with my best wishea Will you dine with me to-day, sir, at three o'clock?" r "Thank you, sir. I shall be happy to do myself the honor." Early Railroading. I will contribute to your collection of railway history some recollections of the old New Castle and Frenchtown Bail- road. Its location was as follows: Extend­ ing from Frenchtown, Md., a point on the Elk river, to New Castle, Del., on the Delaware river, the road was six­ teen miles long, more or less. The track was of flat bar iron laid on wood stringers. It commenced operations in the year 1831 or 1832. The first loco­ motive, the "John Bull," came from England in pieces. A man came over with it who was six months in getting it together and in getting it into work­ ing order. It had only two driving wheels and had no cab. The engineer, old John Point, drove it standing out in the weather, and he used to be cov­ ered with snow and sleet sometimes in the winter. About 1838 the track was relaid with the U iron rail, fastened with long barbed spikes, about ten inches in length. The cars were upon the plan of a stage coach, the passengers sitting face to face, the doors being in the sides. They ran on spoke wheels with­ out any brakes. The cars were hooked or coupled together by links and hooks. The buffers were formed of the side sills extending past the end of the car, the ends being cushioned with hair covered with sole leather. The brak­ ing up of the train when near the sta­ tion--Frenchtown or New Castle--was done at signal of the engineer by rais­ ing his safety-valve. Then tlie old darky servants (slaves) would rush to tlie train, seize hold and pull back, while the agent would stick a piece of wood through the wheel spokes. As to the organization, the list of of­ ficers were those of the Chesapeake and Delaware Canal Company. Capt. R. H. Barr was the General Agent at New Castle, and he used to sell the tickets to passengers, have them seated and col­ lect the tickets just before starting the train. Capt. Barr died at the advanced age of 85 years. The train had way stops (now way stations) and were about one hour and a half making the run. The connec­ tions were with steamboats running between Baltimore and Frenchtown and New Castle and Philadelphia. Those between Baltimore and French- town were to my recollection the George Washington and Martha Wash­ ington--pumpkin-bow crafts. Those running between New Castle and Phil­ adelphia were, I believe, Bolivar, New Castle, Ohio, and Robert Morris. This road was kept up and run until 1852, when it was abandoned as a through line and the rails were taken up to within seven miles of New Castle, these seven miles forming a portion of the present Delaware Railroad, now part of the present Philadelphia, Wilming­ ton and Baltimore.--Railway Age. Smokers the Unselfish Ones. Selfishness appears almost invariably to accompany abstinence from tobacco. The man who, for a long series of years, abstains from tobacco, seems to lose all sense of what is due to other people, and to be absorbed wholly in seeking his own ease and comfort. The ferry­ boats afford a forcible illustration of tho fact. The cabins designed for la­ dies are habitually crowded with men occupy the seats and compel the ladies to stand. These men never smoke. The smokers withdraw to the other cabin, which is usually a dirty and disagree­ able place. They never force their way into the ladies' cabin to occupy seats to which men have no right. It is only the non-smokers who exhibit this offen­ sive variety of selfishness, and nothing could more cloarlv demonstrate the de­ grading moral effect of not using tobac­ co.--Ntw York Tunes. A HOT shovel held over furniture re­ moves white spots." Did Not Understand Dairying. "I see you are shipping a good deal of prime butter to the city," said a gentleman to a farmer living in the vicinity of Now York. "Yes," he replied, "I am doing very well this year." "How many cows do you keep?" "Cows," said the farmer. "I don't keep any cows " "How do you make butter without cows V" was the astonished quory. "I guess you don't know much about tho dairy business," replied the farmer somewhat amused. "1 am proprietor of that bdne boiling establishment over the way."--Philadelphia Call, F1TH AKD POINT. THE duly of the hour is the tariff in Swiss watches.--Hawkeye. DIED in the wool--Tho principal in a negro funeral.--Toledo American. DJCKKNS evidently referred to a dog when he wrote: "Bark-cuss is willin'." --Paris Beacon. CURRENT events are not always served up with dates in the daily papers. This is the fruit of hasty work.--Texas Sift' ings. TEN million artificial teeth were manu­ factured in the United States last year. And still there are people who stick to gum and gnm drops.--Peck's Sun. I NEVER feel comfortable when there's a man around that smiles all the time. The only dog that ever bit me never stopped waggin' his tail.--Josh Billings "IT is very easy," said the managing editor to the humorous paragrapher, "to see through your jokes; they are so deucedly transparent"--Carl Pret' zeVs Weekly. OCT west the cellar is the place to go in time of cyclones, and when a man has a barrel of cider in the cellar it's surprising how many times a day he thinks there's a cyclone coming. "Do you think I would make a very attractive angel?" said a dude with very large ears to a young lady. "Well, no," she replied, pointing to his im- Sense ears; "I think your wings are a iijEe too high up."--The Jersey men. .. 1 A OIVE A WAT. • . She was waltzing w th me. . ~,..,Ye£8lr" ara ed ®'er my shoulder At Billie McO- e. , . , . J S h e w a s w iltzlag w th me, V-'- xe, the "os'ips apiee •< N r w w es" given bolder - Than wh le wvltzlng wi h me S.ie gave, h m Q'er my shoulder! --Life. IF the traveling man who sent us a piece of tough beefsteak requesting that we publish it in our poetry column under the head of "Tender Lines," will call at this office, we will show him how a piece of sole leather fits on the bottom of a boot for external applica­ tion.--Merchant Traveler. "I DON'T see why you are so particu­ lar about your hair," said a churlish husband. "I don't suppose Eve ever wore bangs." "I don't suppose she over did," replied the wife with a quiet cmile, "but then there was nobody in the world but her husband to admire h-jr." The husband became very tuoughtfuL A CAUTIOUS young girl writes to an editor that the young man she is en­ gaged to has the consumption and asks if she should marry him. If he has his life heavily insured she certainly should. If he hasn't, there may be serious trouble when tfee baby comes by mis­ taking in the dark his bottle of cough medicine for the soothing syrup.-- Logansport Chronicle. WHILE Mrs. Siddons was playing one night an obstinate man, in the crowded pit insisted upon standing up. A dis­ turbance took place, which threatened to be a row. It was, however, arrested by witty Henry Erskine. Coming to the front of his box ho quietly said, yet so as to be heard by all--"Pray excuse the gentleman; don't you see it is only a tailor resting himself." The effect was masioal. THE staid Medical Press and Cir­ cular, which has been published in London for half a century, cannot re­ sist quoting a light remark from the Cincinnati Lancet, which it gives as follows: " 'Faith,' which is generally portrayed as a female figure clinging to a wave-beaten rock, would be better personified by the figure of a bald- headed man with a bottle of patent hair restorer." "WHERE were you last Sunday, Rob­ bie ?" asked the teacher of one of the brightest scholars in her Sunday school class. "My mother kept me home." "Now, Robbie, do you know where little boys go to when they play truant from Sunday school?" "Yes, ma'am.** "Where?" "They go fishin'!" ex­ claimed the boy, letting the whole fe­ line family out of the paper envelope.-- Yonker'k Statesman. "COME in the parlor, Mrs. O'Flaherty, a-id see the swate new ornamentation Mary Ann's gintleman sint over to us fur an Easter gift. Here it is, see, a settin' on the mantel." "Arrah, Mrs. O'Flaherty, an' isn't it a beauty! An* pliawt is it, a spitoon?" "No, woman dear, it's no such common thing as that, it's a cuspidory I believe it is what Mary Ann calls it, an' mebby it is to put some foine flowers in it I dun know." Kentucky State Journal The Bite of an Epileptic. Attention has been drawn to the danger of injury from the bite of a hu­ man being while suffering from a fit. A young man who assisted a woman who, having fallen in a fit and was convul­ sively biting everything; within reach, received a bite on the hand and died three days afterwards. This created a scare, and gives rise to anxiora and grave questions. In all probability the man who met his death in this way would have fallen a victim to any oth­ er injury producing an equally strong impression on his body and mind. There is no poison in the bite of a per­ son in a fit, as there is in the bite of a rabid dog. Many scores of attendants on epileptics are bitten and nothing comes of it. Any wound may set up serious irritation, or erysipelatous in­ flammation may supervene, with the re­ sult of placing life in imminent peril; or terror may kill. It is, of course, de­ sirable that every care should be taken to avoid the bite of an epileptic, as elso that of any other excited or en­ raged creature; but there is not tho slightest ground for supposing that worse consequences will follow an in­ jury of this class than one of any other description, if it be equally severe, and! is attended on the part of the victim byj a morbid state of the constitution. --j Health and Home. j "Not So Far as Dedham." • , One is reminded of the intelligent contraband who, during our civil war, entertained an audience in Dedham, Massachusetts, with an account of a fu­ rious conflict of Federals and rebels on the banks of the Potomac. "But," asked a critical auditor of his flaming nara- tive, "where were you when the battle was raging?" "Oh! I was back among the baggage." "But how far were you from the bullets and the cannon balls?" "Well," was the instant reply, "not so far as Dedham."--E. P. Whipple, in North American Review. As they were trudging along to school, a five-year-old Boston miss said to her companion, a lad of six summers; "Were you ever affrighted at the con­ tiguity of a rodent ?" "Nay, forsooth,": he replied; "I fear not the juxtaposi- ti n of the creature, but dislike its alarming tendency to an intimate pro­ pinquity."--N. Y. Morning Journal. IF you would know one of the minor secrets of happiness it is this: Cultivate, cheap pleasures.