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VOL, 10. M'HENRY, ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY, MAY 13, 1885. NO. 431 library ̂ lau2etl«h Published <T»»y Wednesday bv J. VA> HI.YKE KfHTOH AND paBblSllER. BUSINESS CARDS. Office in Bishop's --OPPOSTTK PpRRT A OWEN'&T TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. JfeM* Tmft'n /ItTWB"®) If Nut Paid within Three Months .. 8.00 Subscriptions received for ;three or six Aontlis in the same proportion. f , ' i t -- -- M * * * > ' Kates ot Advertising. We announce liberal rates for advertising m the Pr,AiNHEAi,Eit, and endeavor to state them so platnlv that they will be readily un- ierstaod. They are as follows: 1 Inch one year . • ; - •• 5 00 t Inches one yeaf '. - • WW 3 fno.hen one yea£»# - * 15 00 li( Column ono yei* r » • * - jjO J® it Oiunm one year- - * " ,52 21 Column one year - - - - 100 oo One inch means the meawrement of one nc.h down the colnmn, single column width. Yearly advertisers, at the above rates, have the privilege of chanjilnjt as often as they •hoose, without extra charge. Rejrulftr advertisers (meaning those havinj? Standing cards) will be entitled to insertion •flocal notices at the rate of 5 cenfs per line each week. All others will be charged 10 cents per line the first week, and 6 cents per line for each subsequent week. Transient advertisements will be charged fct the rate of 10 cents pe line, (nonpareil type, same as this is set in) the first issue, and Scents per line for subsequent issues. Th".s, kn inch advertisement will cost $1.00 for one week, $1.50 for two weeks, $£00 tor three weeks, and so on. The PLAINDBALBK will be liberal in givinfc tentorial notices, but, as a business rule, it will require a suitable fee from everybody seeking the use of its columns for pecuniary gain. BUSINESS CARDS. H. T. BROWN, M. D. MSHYSIOIAN AND SURGEON. Office over JHthe Post Otllce, opposite Perry ft Martin's More up stairs, AlcHenry, 111. - • -- III .11 n r mi> C. H. FEGERS, M. D- "jflTSlClAN AND SURGEON, McHenry, Ills. Office at Residence. O. J. HOWARD, M. D. I>HYSlOIAN AND SURGEON, McHenry, I III. Office one door West of FiUsiminons Jt Bvanson's store, up Stairs. BARBIAN BROS. jriXGAR Manufacturers, McHenry, 111. Or- t/ ders solicited. Shop, la Old McHenry, « Keiter Block, two doors west of FLAIN- MCALER Office. The popular palace hotel .of the National Capital. Conveniently located and accessible to all the street car lines of the city. Open all the year. _ ___ O. Gr. STAPLES, PROflUSTOR. fcate of the Thousand Island House. OPENED AGAIN! Robert Schiessle Having purchased the old stand of Joseph Wiedemann, NEAR THE DEPOT, |IoHENBY, ILLINOIS, Has opened the sameas a flrst.class Salooa and Restaurant, Where he will at all times keep thelbest Wands of Wines, Liquors and Cigars • to be found in the market, <;i Also Agent For FRA?fZ TALK'S MILWAUKEE LAGER BEER Beer in Large or Small Kegs or Bottles at. , ways on hand, cheaper than any other, quali­ ty considered. Orders by mail promptly attended t«. - GOOD STABLJNO FOB HORSES. ' 49"Call and see us. Robert Schiesstap McHenry, III., Sept. 1st, 1S84. M A R C U S ' GERMAN Manufactured bv 1\ MARCUS -DEALER IN- PURE WINES, LIQUORS AND CIGARS. > Woodstock, III. • The best Tonic in tho world. Put up In Plptand guart Bottles. Wm MARCUS, Patentee. DONT YOU FORGET IT! ASA W. SMITH, Woods! ook, * ;* Illinois. Barked by Millions of money^ offer yon 1XDKMNITT against damage by • Fire, Lightning,! Wind 8tormat CYCLONES AND TORNADOES. Drop me a postal card and I will visit you: eali on me and I wilt write you a policy, and ITaen either or any of these destructive el*, ipepts devastates your property, happy will be |f you hold one of my policies, for I will sureiv visit you, *pd minister unto you ^ • gmujnmtm* Aft i ASA W. SMITH, ATTORNEY AT LAW and Chancery.--Woodstock, III. Solicitor in JESSE A. BALDWIN, ATTORNEY AT LAW. LAW BUSINESS IN Every part of the State receives prompt attention. Room 24, 99 Washington St., Chi­ cago, III. S. F. BENN'ETT, M. D. IHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Also United States Examining Surgeon. Illinois. Richmond ygi gr A. ft. CHILDS, M. fiw, ; ^ HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SUR­GEON, West McHenry, III. Calls promptly attended to, day or nisht. DR. C. R. WELLS. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Waueonda, Lake Co., III. All calls promptly attend- ed, day or night. Office ou Main St., east of Barker's harness 6hop. MAKY G. BARBIAN. HAIR WORKER. All kUids of Hair Work done in first class style and at reasonable prices. Rooms »t residence, north­ east corner ef Public Square, McHenry, III. D1 DR. C. E. WILLIAMS. ENTTST. Residence Dundee. Will be at McHenry, at Parker House, the 10th 11th 25th and 'ifith "of each mouth. When dates occur Saturday or Sunday I make my visits on the following Monday, and the flrsj day of such visit occurs on Friday, I will stav but one dav. W. *T. CUTT&RIDGE, TEACHER OF INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC-Terms reasonable, and satisfaction guar­ anteed. Rooms at Mrs. Henrv^yL L. A. Clark's, Mc- A. M. CHURCH, Watchmaker and Jeweler NO- 35 FIFTH AVE., Chicago, 111. Special attention {riven to repairing Fine watch- es and Clironomt ters. Full Assortment of Goods in his line AT THE OLD STAND, JACOB BONSLETT, SALOON AND RESTAURANT, at the old j stand, opposite Bishop's mill, McHenry. 111. The choicest Wines, Liquors and Cigars to (>e fuond in the county. IVarin or cold meals on short notice on application. GOOD STABLING FOR HORSES. J. PEKOVSKY, CIGAR MANUFACTURER, Wholesale and Retail Dealer. ANDLES none but his own make,and will nad«3 next H compare his Brands with the best mads in the State. Store door to 'he Post Olti Manufactory •lienrv. 111. iSTOPPED FREE Marvelous success. , insane Persons Restored >Dr.KLINE8 GREAT NERVERESTORER |/or <X//BRATN & NRRV B DlSRASBS. Only turt curt for AVrvr Atf'cctioHs. Fusp }ipilfpsy% €te, JtNFALLiriLK if taken as directed.* No Fits aftt* Ajfirst day's use. Treatise and §2 trjal bottle free to I Fit patients, they paving expresschirq-es on box whem received. Send names, P. O. an4 tfkpress address ot J afflicted to I>R.KLTM£,9ii Arch Si..Philadelphia.Pa. 9Druggists. BEWAK& OF IMITATING FRAUDS. shim Mil mm" Thoroughly taught bv prac tical stenograph­ ers in Rowell & Hickcox' Correspondence Class of Phonography. Tuition P5 a term (12 lessons) two terms in the full course, The most popular, the largest, tho oldest, troct re­ liable class of shorthand in existence. Through it hundreds have acquired a thor- •)ugh knowledge of Phonography. Write for particulars nnd ciiouiars. E WELL ft HICKCX. Boston Mass American agents for Isaac Pitman's Phono­ graphic Books, and dealers in all Shorthand Books Mint supplies. The American Slorttail Writer. (FOUKTH TEAS.) The Cheapest Shorthand Journal in the United States. iSlfhh number contains fuc.-simile reporting notes of eminent stenographers in the various systems of Isaac and Ban Pitman, Graham, Munson, Takgrafy, etc., and all tho news in­ teresting to the profession. Contributed lo by leading stenographers. • SUBSC1PTION S1.0O A TEAR. Single Numbers, 15 Cents. ROWELL & HICKCOX, Boston, Mast. DO YOU KNOW THAT Plug Tobacco, With Red Tin Tag; Rose I.eaf Fine Cut Chew, tng; Navy Clippings, and Black, Brown and Yellow Snuffs ure the best Nanil the ohoieest quality considered. Attention Horsemen! I would call the aitentfion of the public to my Stable ot Stock Horses, four in number: two Morgans, one 3-4 Percheron, and one Imported Horse. They are all good representatives of their breeds Also a few Merino Sheep ,<> r sale. The public are cordially invited to call and examine stock, get prices, etc. No business done on Sunday. N, S. COLBY. 10.7-tf MCIIKNRY, ILL Culver House, RICHMOND. ILL. C. N. CULVER, - - PROPRIETOR. HAVIN3 recently purchased the aboye House. I have'put it in thorough repair, withlnew furniture throughout, and would respectfully invite the patronage of the trav- ellng public and others. The tables will al- wavs be provided with'the best that can be procured, and polite and attentive waiters will be in readiness atall times to attend to the wants of guests. No pains will be spared to make this a first Class House. Large and commodious barns on the premises. Free Omnibus to and from alt trains. Sample Rooms on first floor. WM. H COWLIN [SUCCESSOR TO M. M.^CLOTHIEK] U. S. WAR CLAIM SOLICITOR AND ATTORNEY. ALSO NOTARY PUBLIC Prosecutes pensior or any other claims against the government, relating to the late, or former wais. Complicated cases and re­ jected claims made a specialty. If stamps are enclosed for reply, all communications Will be promptly answered. Offiee at Beiidenee, HAD 30If ST., WOODSTOCK. ILL- References by permission as regards char­ acter, business ability, reliability, Ac., Ac : Gen. John A. Logan, U S. Senator, Chicago,' Illinois. Gen. J.C. Smith, State Treasurer of Illinois. Hon. R Eltwood.M.C. 5th III. Dist., Syc- amore. III. Hon. John C. Sherwin. es-M. C. 5th III. Dist., Aurora, III Hon. A. M. Jones, U. S. Marshal, Chicago, lit Col. Jas. A. Sexton, Pres. Union |Veteran Club. Chicago, 111. Jesse A. Baldwin, Ass't U. S. Attorney, Chi­ cago, III. Messrs. Selz, Schwab & Co., Wholesale Boot ami Shoe Dealers. Chicago, lit. Also hundreds of county and borne referen­ ces. PUMP REPAIRING; CEMENTING, ETC. The undersigned is prepared to do all joba in the line of Digging Wells, Re.xtiring Pumps, Cementing wells, or ' will put in < Pumps On short notice and warrant satisfaction. In short will do all work in this line. Can furnish you a new Puinp, cither wool or iron, warranted, as cheap as anyothorman, Good references furnished if desired. If you want a Well Dug, a 1'uinp Repaired era new Pump, give me a call, 49*Or«lers by mail promptly attended.to. Post Olttcc, Johusburgh, III. L. BANTES* Johnsburgh, 111., May|£>th, 1884. I 11 E. WIGHT MAN, Proprietor. First class rigs, with or without drivers furnished at reasonable rates. ait, J. P. SMITH, WATCHMAKER g JEWELER, . .McHenry, - Illinois. H 'ftuir moved into my n«w store, one 4oor tnsiof Mrs. Searles' Millinery Store I am;, qtw prep.irod to show to the buying public as fine a stock of Watches, Clocks, Jewelry. Silver and Plated Ware, • Aa-ifcii be found in the county, which I|nffer 'it prices ttmcannot be beat. The finest line of Ifing-er <Vlso?Agent for liter seen In this section. tae P >pular. , Sa 9 Hose Sewing 21&ehiu, A Fine Stock of CHOICE CONFECTIONERY, AND CIGARS. AIw*vs on hand. ATTall in, examine goods an I ' tarn prices. Remember I will not be un »"»sol<l, quality of goods considered. J. P. SMITH. McHenry, Ill.JOct. 13, 1884. A. it RQBEST C. 3EMETT, BREEDER OF fowls KICHMOND, ILL. (FIRST RBXIUM 4T MCHEHBY C®UWTT FAIR ) My fowls are of the celebrated DUKE OF TORK strain, remarkable for their great size and layilig qualities. I can show a trio of last season's chicks weighing 31 pounds. Eggs, per setting of thirteen. $1.50, delivered to purchaser in Richmond. Shipped, securely packed. I8.M. MOBERT a BEXNET1' SALOON and RESTAURANT Buck's Old Stand, McHENRY, ILLINOIS. Fins Kentucky Liquors,' French Bitters, McHenry Lager Beer, Phil. Best's Milwaukte Bwi By the Bottle or Case. We buy none but the best and sell at Reasonable Prices. Call a;nd see me and I will use you well. ANTONY ENGELN. Mcflenry, ill., 1884. Apts Wauled For '-History, Itomance and Philosophy of tireat American Crimes and Criminals." The most startling book of recent ears. Biog raphical, Pictorial, 161 Superb with personal ye: En grrayings Portraits of the Celebrated Criminals. O&Htoyal Octave pages. Low retail price, t2 50. It is a work of art as well as of thrilling historic interest. Is bound to produce a profo'und Impression. Agents sell it by the thousands. A grand chance for canvassers, Send for particulars and he convinced that this is he most salable and profitable book published; or, to save time, send 75 cents at once for c tnvassing Book and state vour choice of townships. Address N. D. THOMPSON A Co., Publishers, St. Louis, Mo. or *ew York City. Apts Wailed. "•! SI for 1S Weeks. The POT,ICE GAS securely wrapped, United Sta es for thr ONE FTE will he mailed, any address In the nonths on receipt of »LLAR, Liberal discount allowed to postmasters, agents and clubs. Sample copies mailed tree Address all orders to BICHABD K- POX, FRANKUK SQUARE, New York. "HOW lt> 8AVC 'Jti TlHitiitlMie by • MERCHA Wauco Ooal I0BHBI CL Of all kinds. Or«lcr which is perfect iitting WORK WAi Ot DMney^efunded. Herman] Waueonda, March Sid, to the well-known TAILOHi Soldiers* Department. CONDI CTKD BY DN. S. F. ILKNNKTT. County G. A- R. Directory. RICHMOND POST'NO 2QG. e^Meet,s^thc first and third Fridaj 'evenings of Da. 9. F, BENNETT, Com. WOODSTOCK POST, NO 108. 'be third Monday evenings of each month, DOMESTIC at »oit of clothes »d all iANTEfr Mai man. Smokers 4all For TAQ, OR S CENT STRAIGHT C1QAR. ' ' S I L V E R T A G , Or 3 for a Cigar. OOL1 OR 10»C/?AT STRAIGHT Via AII. The Finest Goo# Ever Offered FOtt SALE BY All First-Class Dealers. RETAILERS ATTENTION, We advertise the above brands in the lend ing St. Louis dailies, ami your name will ap >ear among the list of ajasijcies once a week or i>0 il. 'tys from date of test purchase. -vith flrst'ordprwe send 3 neat :in<* ^pretty signs. We have one price fa# these gooifs from which there is no deviat Tag, ?:Vi.00; Silver Tag,< f»er ldOO. We also car ine of Domestic, Key Cisrars in the country," Sample orders solicit Address. TAYX H. P. HCLL, niimelv: Xickle tiold Tag, J70.00 a most extensive est and Imported It torn prices. |Goods guaranteoil, .AtLooia, Mo. Te«etable. Flower and Meld ^[[11^ BULBS, FLOItlHTS* ROP- W'IBS nnd mi'LHWENTW all kinds, matled FltKE on application HIRAM SIBLEY & CO, ROCHESTER, N. Y, CHICAGO, ILL. J22-3S6 E. Main St. 200-206 Randolph St 10-.T >' SLOWS "Vineyard" Roller Skates. For the best, most duraW# and easiest run­ ning Roller skates get the -'VINEYAltl>." \'l the principal Kinks are using the "ViNKYAltD" Roller. Put up m >ill Clamp, Half Clamp and Strapped Complete. Tho demand for these skates is so great that they are kept in stock by all principal har !• ware dealers throughout the country. Jliuiuf ictured by the inventor and Patentee SAMUEL WINSLOW, WORCESTER, MASS. I0B SASSmS IS B. N. SKITH. Com. KCNUATO8T, '*lni "•»- < WM. BUTLER, Com, HARVAKD POST, KO 255. Sifeets the second and fourth Monday%»»«»• jrs ot each month. " DR. II. T. WOODRUFF. Com. Vaster and Young.. There Is a good one told by General Pierce Ytiling, which we print in cor­ rected shape. Custer and Young were messmates and classmates, nnd devoted friends at West Pol nr. In the war they were major generals of cavalry on opposite sides. One day General Young was invited to breakfast at the Hunter mansion in Virginia. The beautiful young la lias had prepared a smoking breakfast, to which the gen­ eral was addressing himselt with ardor when a shell bum through the house (il&ncing through the window he saw Custer charging toward the house at the *iead of his staff. Out of th« window Young went, call­ ing to the young ladies: "Tell Custer I leave tills breakfast for him." Ouster enjoyed in heartily, and looked for­ ward with pleasure to the dinner in the distance. In ;lie meantime, Young, smarting over the loss of liis breakfast and his hasty retreat, drove the Federal line hack, and by dinner time was in sight, of the Hunter innisien again. Custer whor was just sitting do wn to dinner, li.uglved and •aid: ' That's Pierce 'Young coming back I knew he wouldn't leave me here in peace. Iletcis my pictuie--give it to hitn, and tell liini his old classmate leaves his lm*e with this excel« lent dinner." And out of the window lie went and away like ngkfiash, while the Geo'rgln General walked in ami sat down to dinner. From tho National , "The Mine and the Giray M % - I have r«»ad the article under the above caption in your isftie of the Yiav of the 2',)th of Xovenibf-r, and it tifiwigat > wrfsliyanHir^o For Coal and Wood CAM, OS- Men Wanted. To sell our Nursery products, on salary and expenses paid by us,~oi, if preferred, on com­ mission. Work everv month in the year tor energetic and reliable men. Business easily learned. Wages liberal. Terms and outfit free. Address, stating age and Inclosing 6t(The' Chase Nurseries.) % E. m. HOWE Opposite Bishop's Mill, •Vho has a completejline of the best stovos in the market, as well as a large stock of Mare, Mechanic's Tools, fIN, COPPER & SHEET IRON WARE, And, ?in|fact,' everything In the hardware «tove and tin lino. ME WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD. Call at his store before buying elsewhere lobbing and repairing promptly attended to *JTRemember, extra good bargains can al­ ways be obtained at Howe's. McHenry, Dec. 1, 1883. Important to Ruptured Persons The Excelsior Knpture Cure M'f 'g Co., ot Ogdensburg, N. Y.. guarantee to cure any case of reducible Heri ia with their Remedies. THE RUPTURE PLASTER AKD HEALING COM roiiKD. This treatment is endorsed by our best Doctors', Diuggists, and the general pa bile. Send Sets for free book on Knptar* WT ask your druggist for the Remedy- ' many reflections tie to political mat ters and the course of public affairs, not only siii're the close of the civil war of 1815, but prior to that war. As Confederate soldier during that war--the tiro--t^im buck led on his *word frouiThe St^te of Virginia, and the last frcun.that State who surrender­ ed--I grasp XTIv right hand of friend­ ship and reconciliation tendered in anci through Vliat article by the"Unio>i Soldier'* 9^10 wrote it. I heartily concur in tlie following views and sen- timents he expresses: Had the soldier in the North and in the South, In the early days after the war, been more consulted in the re­ construction of State and the estab­ lishment of national peace and iiati nal industries, much of the political and sectional animosity which has been kept up for nearly twenty years, woukl have Ibeen avoided, arcd the country would have been more united and prosperous than It is to day* • If in the Southern States Infractions of law ir.d equal rights have beei; com­ mitted in political circles, for political purposes, it lias not been instigated or led 011 by tlie Confederate soldier so much HS by tlte «ot headed, unscrup­ ulous partisan aspirant for political honor. If. 011 the other hand, in the North­ ern States there has been political in­ tolerance--a waving of the "bloody shirt" in the heat of the p«>(i11 al cam­ paigns-- it lias hef n done less by the Union soldier than by the anibi iou« political demagogue' who never smelt the smoke or sa v the fire ofbattle. An extensive personal ob-ervatlon under the most favorable circumstances impressed me long since with the fact that both in the North and the South thofte most blatant in the pol­ itical field since the war are those «rho have least encountered the Mangers and hardships of the battle field dur­ ing the war. In the South, from the Potomac to the Gulf of Mexico, they were those w id for the most part never donned the gray until the war was over, but while the strife and struggle lasted flouted the blue,having 110 heart in the Southern cause, and expecting to be made by the Government at Washington, in the event of the failure of the South in the ivar, the recipients of all official favors at the South, an­ ticipating that failure would ensue, seeing that all the civilized world were recruting the armies of the North and supplying those armies, yet in the end finding themselves spurned at W.sliington forthwitti-- like the famous Georgia trio--mounted the gray, and with their purses, filled with their speculating gains during the war, suborned the newsparper press, out- herodeJ Herod, as Southern patriots, and blinded and deceived the short­ sighted but honest-hearted masses into their support, trusting to their lying assertions and systematic political jug­ glery. In the North it was no better. With few honorab)e exceptions, the prominent politicians of the North since 1870 have been S'mply mercenary wretches who lor the most part, when they first secured political positions in the national councils, through false iiuin»nit*rian eri#s and moral assump­ tions, were tcarcely worth a grave in which to be buried. Yet by speculating, from their acquired positions of advan tage, in the necessities of the country, either in association with measures of administrative policy, or otherwise, are seen to have issued forth in t venty years while waving the bloody shirt vehemently, as millionaires, as the builders of palaces, a9 the owners of villas at Long Branch or elsewhere, and as the proprietors in their In­ dividual right of nearly half of the capital city of the nation, with car­ riages emblazoned with coats of-arms assumed from books of hearldry, and attended by servants in livery. It i» scarcely an exaggeration to assert that there Is hardly to be found in the broad limits inf the UOited States, either North, South, East or West, a millionaire of the preseut time? not inherited, whose fortune when traced ou'i will not be found to be resting In the bones and blood of .the five hun dred thousand soldiers slaughtered and destroyed"in the late civil war. It has been indeed a device of cunning wisdom to close with pension stipends, the months ot the brav* men who servived that war at the North, with their running wounds, and without arms or leg*, incurred aud lost, through sincere motives and unselfish principle. The glamor being over and the films from th ir eyes being removed they might have cried out "let us share and share alike." No wonder that fiye hundredex Con­ federate soldiers In the valley of Vir­ ginia, during the late presidential election "for themselves and hundreds •f others iii Virginia," should, have sent greemigs to Gen. John A. Logan, recogniziiig in him a soldier brave and true, who! like themselves, had fought and sufierrd for principle and en prin­ ciple, and who. therefore, also like themselves, and like all others during the war, brave and tiue 011 princple and for princple, whether at the South • r at the North, had not gathered into his pocket out of their blood and the tears of the country, "base lucre to baser ends." inviting him to come among them and to address them as to that best for the Republic apart from the Interests of demagogues, Nor Is it to be wondered that "thousands of ex-Federal soldiers should,** in the language of your recent correspondent, sin ex-Federal soldier, "regard that political alliance looking In the future 11 the welfare of the country at large, to the industrial economy of the wholo people, to the best inter >etft of a com­ mon government, contemning mer­ cenary political demagogues In every section." Let the political mercanarles in every direction take warning. Such expressions from the soldiers'of the lute civil war, North aud South, are significant and ominous. Behind these are the industrial millions organized aud organizing in behalf of the Inter­ ests of labor, driven more and more into the protctive unions by organized capital; by capital"grasping mor? and mere, not only the political honors and emoluments of the Government and the landed possessions of the conntry. but all avenues of employ­ ment of flny and every description, and rendering its possessors more and more the dictators of the people, re­ ducing the people jnore and more to servile conditions, and erecting the Govern nent itself more and more Into a Ca'sariun system, the better to se­ cure their ill-gotton gains, after the manner of which transpired in the Roman . republic under very similar circumstances, but not unattended with terrific popular retributions. Deceptions may be practiced for a time upon an honest-meaning aud un­ suspecting people, bur are always fol­ lowed by a popular awakening; and in the United States the soldier classes are the industrial, manual labor classes; with their hands armed not alone with the ballot, but ready, the billots failing through the arts and chicanery of capital, to grasp the sword, the baynoet nitro-glycerlne and dynamite. The immortal author of the Dec­ laration of Independence long since wrote, and the letter was always kept framed and hung In my father's parlor, that here, in the United States, it will be seen that "the many are not made to be ridden by the few, booted and spurred, legitimately by the grace of !•» JCX-CONFEDEUATE SOLDIER. Our Telephone Girl. Tlic doleful strains of "Whon, the Spring Time Comes, Gentle Annie," were turning the air blue i t the vicin­ ity of the exchange and making all the wires work fearfully bad, when the telephone girl suddenly erased singing and attended to business for three or four minutes without interruption or break in the proceedings. She was just making up her mind that she would not play any more ugly pranks on the people, when an opportunity that was too good to be lost, was presented, and she resolved to have jyst one more good joke before reforming. Mo. 618 called and she replied: "Hello!" * "Hello! Give.me Reverend Obadiah Graveman, please.'* The Rev. Obadiah was at once switched on. "Hello? who is it?" ho queried., "Deaoen BarliymaU^** '•Well, Deacon, what will yott! "Why, I wishod to speak to yoa tim* thing about your sermon the other night. I am afraid yoa said some things in that little talk about rich people that were very unwise. I am afraid that our contributions are gelng t« be aflected by your effort, and that it !> going to make it necessary for a few ot 113 to support the church. I don't Hit* it, Mr, Graveman." Here the wretched girl switcbed oa i> holiness man who was reading tlon army exhortation he had written to a friend, and the reply the dMMM got from the Reverend Obadiah was M follows: ' Of course you do not liko to hear nf your faults. Sinners never do, bat I know I am right and I am going to dW as the Lord tells me, and if yon don*tj want to do your duty there is only one thing you can do, so tar as 1 know; you can go to hell and be eternally damned but I am going to climb the'golden stair that leads* to glory in spite of all the vile creatures that block the roadjl aiKT Ff you don't want to get on the gospel train when it comes along, yon better clear the track, or gou will cursed from everlasting to everlasting. I call upon God to eternally damn----J"]' Here the girl cut off the holiness man and switched the deacon on the preach­ er again,but the explanation he sought was not satisfactory, and now there ia one of tho worst church rows evar known in progress In Bloom!ngton.- Through Mail. MAT CROP PROSPKCT& ; MCHENRY COONTT, The following interesting data COSH ceruing the condition and prospects Of the crops, etc., in this County has been furnished the Illinois Department ©fj Agriculture by the regular correspond­ ents residing in this Cmnty. This In­ formation will be published In th« Monthly Crop and Statistical Report issued by the Secretary of the Illinoia Department of Agriculture: Winter wheat has made soma iaa» prove'ment during the past month, and now pro uiaes nearly an average yield per acre. Rye and spring wheat are up to an average in condition. Tha area of spring wheat ia not as large a* last season. Oats look Well, and the area Is nearly as large as last Mflfcott. The seeding ot barley IA not as large as 1 tst reason--condi tion up to anavdl area of meadows is some larger than last season and the area of paatltfii is uot quite as large ts in 1884. Grass baa not. made the usual growth owing fo the cold, backward season. About half the usual amount of spring plowing has been done. Farm animals are In much better condition than usual at tills season, especially when the long, celd winter is considered. There ii a decrease In the number of sheep as compared with a corresponding date last season. The supply of farm tianda is tome larger than last season. The winter has been quite severe on the apiaries, and in some localities three- fourths of the bees were winter killed* Farmers are advancing spring work Ml rapidly as the season will permit. ; WKATHBR, The Illinois Department of Agr!ctt!» ture has beer, furnished the following interesting information by Meterar logical Observation--concerning the weather during the past month. Thfa intormation^will be published In the Monthly Weather Review of the State by th» Secretary of the Illinois Depart­ ment of Agriculture: METSOKTOGICAL, McHenry County--John If, Jamea* Observer, Marengo. ThA has been an unusually cold April. Its moan tem­ perature 42'.20, was 2® lower than the mean of 24 Aprils past. April 1S62, 18.04' 1808,1873.1874,1875 and 1881 were colder. The temperature ranged from 22®.70 on the fourth to 74® o» the 21st, a range at SI *.30. 1 no great* est daily range occnrred on the 7th 23®. 79 and the last daily range l°JSOt on the 16th. The mean dally range was 12 ® .19. Frost occurred 00 10 days viz April 1,3, 4.8.0,10, 12,13. 14 and 20. On the 4th 2.75 inches of snow fell. It was as furious a snow storm as 1 ever saw in April. Rain or enow foil on 10 days viz: April 7,10,13.14,15,IT* 20, 23, 23, 25, and 30, 3.97 inches of rain fell which was 2,32 inches mere thnn mean amount of 24 Aprils past April 1801 and 1868, alone were wetter. Tha total snowfall of the month was 3 inches. There were 7 clear, 11 ffclr and 13 cloudy days. The wind was H. 10 times N. E. 18, E. 21, S. E. 3, S. «, S. W. 15, W. 3, N. W. 14 times. Winds followed by rain N. E. to S. W; by clear or fair weather S. W. to N. W. The greater velocity of the wind waa 30 to 39 miles per honr. Solar halo and polar bands 011 the 27tw. Tha red winged blackbirds came on the 7th. '-1 m BKATINU A RA1LROA1K ^Speaking of railroad monopoIlea,1*, t said Browu, "I got the best of one tha \ other day. Did it up in great shape.** "Hew was that?" "Ton won't give me away? | woaldu't have it go bacK to fthe earaat .> the company for considerable." fell "Mum s the word." ^5- " Well, sir, I bought a round trip tick­ et between here and Ypsilafttt and then walked back. Got the ticket la my pocket now. When it comes to dealing with these grinding railroad monopolies I'm a thoroughbred, I --Detroit JountaL r t'• <• , "" •• . . . ' . . . „ 2°..*