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wjf **r - iv •*£': . * , * . /«l '>: i*'« if.'. '* *$><$£*> -'-w 1 '<y 1 - * i * »\ - *? • • • • - 4 , « . . , . , -- « , - * , i' ~ * U VOL.11. Jl^eafy pitiiiealer. Published Kr»ry Wednesday by J. VA^ SLYKE 8DIT03 AND PUBLISHER,' OKice in Bishop's --Onosrrc PEBBT A OWEN'S. - TERMS QP SUBSORIPTIOW. t«TSAR(la Aftvaaee).. ;.....ft.itt Not Paid within Throe Months 2.00 i/J.pMMcriptloi»8 received for (three or six •ontlis in the same proportion. Kates of Advertising. "'"*"We announce liberal rates for advertising Stha PLA INOF.AI.KR, and endeavor to state em so plainly that thev will be reudlly un .... 1 • I Inches one year J Inches one year k Column one year '""m 1-- " " arstood. They are as follows: I Inch one year . * ' * "f " Inches one year • " = • Inches one year % . 5 00 . 10 00 . 15 00 - 8000 Column one year- .... B000 Column one year • - . - 100 00 One inch means the meaiorement of one •ch down the column, single column width. Tearly advertisers, at the above rates, have Hie privilege of changing as often as they pioose, without extra charge. .Regular advertisers (meaning those having (tanaing cards) will be entitled to insertion W local notices at the rate of 5 cents per line nch week. All others will be charged 10 lent* per !ine the first week, and Scents per ||ne for each subsequent week. . Transient advertisements will be charged • • '-at the rate of 10 cents pe line, (nonpareil type, same as this is set in) the first Issue, and (Fcents per line for subsequent issues. Tins, in inch advertisement will cost f 1.00 for one , t greek, §1.50 for two weeks, $2.00 for three 'freeks, and so on. • The PLAINDRALBR will be liberal in giving #litorinl notices, but, as a business rule, it require a suitable fee from everybody Seeking the use of its columns for pecuniary gain. BUSINESS CARDS. H. T. BROWN, M. D. PHY81CIAN AND SURGEON. OSe« at Residence, McHenry, til. •§-- C. H. FEGEUS, M, D- HirsiOlAN AND SURUEON, McHenry, Ills. Office at lie»ldence. "y| II. I 'i 'niiii.i "fi ii O. J. HOWARD, M. D. ^f»HYSlOIANf AND SURGEON, McHenry, I III. Office one door West of ITltzsiniinons • Evanson's store, up stairs. BAKBIAN BROS. IGAB Manufacturers, McHenry, 111. Or­ ders solicited. Shop, la Old McHenry, Keiter Block, third door west of Riverside use. D. C The popular palace hotel of the National Capital. Conveniently located and accessible ' all the street car lines of the city. Open all yeM' O. G. STAPLES, PROPRIETOR. t*te of the Thousand Island House. &. ' £ SCHIE8SLE Slaving purchased the old stand of Joseph Wiedemann, NEAR THE DEPOT, IfoHENBY, ILLINOIS, Keeps Open for the accommodation of the Public a First-Class Saloon and Restaurant, llhere lie will at all times keep the|best • " brands of Wines, Liquors and Cigars to be found in tne market. Also Agent For FRANZ FACE'S MILWAUKEE LAGER BEER fleer in Large or Small Kegs or Bottles al. Wttys on hand, cheaper than any other, quali­ ty considered. Orders by mail promptly attended to. GOOD STABLING FOR HORSW. 49~Call and see us. Robert Schiessle. Ho Henry i IlL. Kay 15th, 1885. • • ' • - ! ' M A R C T J CERMAN BUSINESS GARBS. ASA W. SMITH, ATTORNEY AT LAW and solicitor in Chancery.--Woodstock, III. S. F. BENNETT, M. D. > PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Also United States Examining Surgeon. Richmond, Illinois. A. S. ClIILDS, M. D., HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SUR­GEON, West McHenry, III. Calls promptly attended to, day or night. ; M. FOLEY, MAKER. DR. C. R. WELLS. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, WIFFIEAWDA, Lakts Co., III. All calli ed, day or night. Offiqe on Barker's harness shop. Lakb Co., III. All calls promptly attend- MainSt., east of MARY G. BARBIAN. HAIR WORKER. All kinds of Hair Work done in first class style and at reasonable prices. Rooms st residence, north­ east corner of Public Square, McHenry, III. D1 DR. C. E. WILLIAMS. ENTIS^ Residence Dundee. Will'beat McHenry. at Parker House, the 10th 11th 25th and'ifith of each month. When dates occur Saturday or 8nn<lay I make my visits on the following Monday, and1 the first day of such visit occurs on Friday, I will stay hut one day. A. M. CHURCH, Watoliniuker aud Jeweler NO. 55 FIFTH AVE., (Briggs Honse), Chi­cago, ill. Special attention given to re­ pairing Fine watches and Chronometers. Full Assortment of Goods in his line AT THE OLD STAND, JACOB BONSLETT, ^ALOON AND RESTAURANT, at the old J stand, op|K>s>ite Bishop's mill, McHenry, III. The choicest Wines, Liquors an't Cigars to be found in the county. Warm or cold meals on short notice on application. PHIL BEST'S MILWAUKEE BEER by the Bottle or Case, always on hand. GOOD STABLING FOR HORSES. J. PEKOVSKY, CIGAR MANUFACTURER* Wholesale and Retail Dealer. HANDI.ES noro but his own make,and will compare his Hr.imls with the best mad* in the state. Store ami Manufactory next door to t he Post. Office. Mcllenrv. 111. C1IAS. II. TRYON. DRAINAGE ENGINEER. Levels taken, drains located and grades es­ tablished for tile and open drains edition* taken of springs, ponds and wafer courses, aeetirate levetWg". P. O. Address, Green wood. III. DO YOU KNOW THAT Plug Tobacco, With Red Trn Tag; Rose Leaf Fine Cnt OheW ng; Navy Clippings, and Black, Brown aud fellow Snail's ure the best and the choicest quality considered. Attention Horsemen! I would call the attention of the public to my Stable ot Stock Horses, four in number: two Morgans, one 3-4 Percheron, and one Imported Horse. They are all good representatives of their breed. Also a few Merino Sheep i r sale. The public are cordially invited to call and examine stock, get prices, etc. No business done on Sunday. N.S.COLBY. 10-7-tf McHENBY, ILL ILL H f : 4-•: f1 f 6^ , *" r jh" • iy T: ; r.. Manufactured by F. MARCUS, •DEALER IN-- WJRE Wll^S, LIQUORS AND Woodstock, III. best Tonic m the world. Put np in #mt and Quart Bottles. • •• ~ f F. MARCUS, Patentee. PONT YOU FORGET IT! ASAW. SMITH, Woodstock, ^ # Illinois. yo® ? PUMP REPAIRING}, CEMENTING, ETC. The undersigned is prepared to do all jobs in the lin« ol digging Weils, Repairing Pumps. Cementing Wells, or will put in New Pumps On short notice and warrant satisfaction. ID short will do all work in this line. Can furnish you a new I*tunp, either wood or iron, warranted, as cheap as any other man. Good references furnished if desirod. If yon want a Well Dug, a Pump Repaired ora new Pump, give me a call. WOrders liy mail promp.ly attended lo. Post Office, Johnshurgn, 111. L. BANTES. Johnsburgh, 111., May 25th, 1&35. Banked UfDEMN by Millions of money oflfca ITT against damage by Lightning, Wind Storms, CYCLONES AND TORNADOES. rop me a postal card and I will visit yon: 1 on me and I Will write you a policy, and en either or any of these destructive ele. nents devastate® your property, happv will 70a be if you hold one of my policies, 'for I Will surely visit you, and .minister unto you. Witt aot «m*k* you. | AAA W. SM11H, Om'l Iniucme* Agt, LORILURDS^' X PLOWSHARE u* DI im A s k y o u r B La \A m Dealer for it -BREEDER OF EOBEST G, 3EUNETT, OF -- rata Liilt FOWLS ILL. (FIRST HEMTUM \T MCHEWRT COUIRTT FAIR Mv fowls are of the celebrated DUKB OP YOilK strain, remarkable for their great size and laying qualities. I can show a trio of last season's olucks weighing 31 pounds. Eggs, ncr setting of thirteen, f 1.50, delivered ichmond, 8hipped, securely to purchaser in I packed,. 92.001 ROBERT a MEXNETl' Having leased the Wagon and Carriage Shop of Simes A Neison, opposite the Parker House I am i.ow prepared to do all kinds ol work in this line ON SHORT NOllCE, and GUARANTEE SATISFACTION. After a lorg experience in the Eureka Car. riftge and Wagon Shops, in Canada, I am con­ fident I can give satisfaction to all who give me their patronage. Repairing of All Kinds Promptly Attended . to* M. FOLKY. est McHenry, June 10, 1885. J. C. KARGES, i House, Sign and Carriage ' PAINTER, Shop at McHenry House, Near the Iron Bridge. I am prepared to do alt kin Is of Painting on short notice, and guarantee satisfaction. Sign Painting a Specially. Call and see me if in want of anything in the Painting line, as I am satislie I that 1 can please you, both in workmanship and price. J. C. Karges. McHenry, June 15, 18?S. H E. WKJHTMAN, Proprietor. First class rigs; with or without drivers furnished at reasonable rates. Teaming ot all kinds done on short notice. ATTENTION LADIES. MRS. J H, SEXTOK, ?or the past ten years one at the leading Dressmakers in Elgin, has moved to McHenry where she is ready to do Dressmaking in the lutestistjlefr" Batisfac- tion guaranteed. Cutting aud Fitting a specialty. Also agent for the I. X L., Tailor system of Cutting and Fitting. Full instructions given* Rooms two doors West of the Kiverside House. fOR BARGAINS IH For Coal and Wood .---©ALL OW- E M. HOWE Opposite Bishop** Mill, <Vho has a complete line of the best stoves in the market, as well as a large stock of Harilvare, Mechanic's Tools, TIN, COPPER & SHEET IRON WARE, And, ;in|fact, everything^ the hardware «tove and tin lino. HE WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD. Call at his store before buying elsewhere, lobbing and repairing promptly attended to W Re member, extra good- bargains can al. trays be obtained at Howe's. McHenry, Dec. 1, 1883. ^[rUfCpA OfD A book of 100 pages. Jltt|gn\rt|\ The best book for an con- :peri- lenced or otherwise, t contains lists of newspapers and estimates of the cost of advertising. The advertiser who wants to spend one dollar, finds in it the in­ formation he requires, while t'orhim who will Invest one hundred thousand dollars in ad­ vertising, a scheme is indicated which will meet his every requirement, err can be made to do so by slight changes eartJy arrived (d by cor­ respondence. 149 editions have been issued. Sent, post-paid, to any address for 10 cents. Write to GEO. P. ROWELL A CO., NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING BUREAU. (10Spruce St. Printing House Sq.), New York. John Helm, Algonquin, III., DEALER IN Budwut, StovM, Trnware, In short, we keep everything in the above mentioned lines, which we are offe ing to the buy­ ing public as cheap as any other house in this section. Call audi See us*. JOBBNO ft BEPAIBINGh PROMPTLY ATTENDED TO. JOHN HELM. Algonquin. Feb. 18,1886, Pledged but to Truth, «o and Law; No Favors Win ua and no Fear Shall Awe.' .VTHENRY, HXIMKS, WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 5, 1885. The seeur United! Liberal afestti Addr 13 Weeks. GAZETTE will be mailed, ped, to any addrem in the • three months on receipt of DOLLAR. nnt allowed to postmasters. Sample copies mailed free Sers to HICHAM) K FOX, |#KAMKi,niSQCAKE, New York. OR SI OR ltt| The Fi All KETAU We adverll ing St. Lonf pear ainonjr I for GOdavs fi iirst order W| We have which there 1 Tajr, fHVOO; per looo. line of Don Citrars in the| Sample ordf Address, TA1 H. P. Hut s S St'tfitVil Ve*etafel ?WJ, HIRA1 R0CHE8TI ^*22-326 $ its Call For LE STRAt&MfClOAR. E R T A G , a Quarter Cigar. DTAQv STRAIGHT CIGAR. foods Ever Offered SALE BY Mass Dealers* ATTENTION. laltove brands in the lead pies, and your name will ap (i of agencies once a week |te of last purchase. >Vith 3 neat and <pretty siirns. e for these good's from iviation, nameiv: Xickle PHST, »CO.OO; (Jold Tajr, #70.00 r carry the most extensive • Key West and Imported ffy, at bottom prices. llcited. Goods guaranteed. Soldiers' Department. CONDUCTED BT DB. S. P. BENNETT. County Ga A- R. Directory. RICHMOND POST NO 2S6. Meets the flrst and third Frinaj evenings of each month. DB. S. F, BENNETT, Com. WOODSTOCK POST, NO 108. _Meets the third Monday evenings of each month. B. N. SMITH. Com. NUNDA POST, u£Co^c^mo"tRhd third WEDNESDFCY •TCD WM. BCTLKB, Com. HA.RVABD POST, NO 255. i2Sl'*«2lSiMCO,Vii®d fourth Monday even ingsof each month. DR. H. T. WOODRUFF, Com. MARENGO POST, No. 169, ^ ^ Second and Fourth Friday evenings of each month. " ' ' J. B. BABCOCK, Com. ipT'O Q.|St> Louie, Mo- EY:S !Ted«A DO BraSfOT WrSS; and 1.111*1,t MRNTH Fit EE on appllcatloa IBLEY & CO. CHICAGO, ILL 200-206 Randolph St L O W ' S Roller Skates. WI For the best, most durable an«l easiest run­ ning Holier skates get the 'VINEYAItD." »'l the principal Rinks are using the "V iNEVARI)" Roller. I'ut up m Ail Clamp, Half Clamp and Strapped Complete. The demand for these skates Is so great that they are kept in xtock by all principal liar I* ware dealers throughout the country, ^lanuf'tciured by the Inventor and'Patentee SAMUEL WINSLOW, WORCESTER, MASS. "God's Flag." As a detAtcliment of the Reserves, under Ge». Thomas, were marching through Athens, Georgia, after the battle of Chickamauga. a liule sunny- haired girl of some fou r summers, who had been watching the fellows tramp Ing along,caught a glimpse of the flag. Clapping her hands in delight, she ex­ claimed: "On, papa! papa! God made that flag! Just see those stars!" A shout loud and long went from the column, a id many a soldier firmly re­ solved if his o*n right hand availed, God's flag should conquer. A band of wnr worn veterans trod A heated, <iustv, Southern street; With hurrie<l step, their trust in Uod, A maddened rebel foe to meet. A laughing child, some four years old, * W itli glowing lip and starry eye, And wavy locks ot burnished gold. Our glorious banner chanced to apff* With hand upraised in glad surprise, She gn/.od upon its crimson bars; •'(iod made that flag," she loudly otliiii: •'Look, papa, look! just »ee those stars!" A thousand arms are raised on high, A thousand voices rend the air; And many a soldier's tear-dimmed ere Is riised to heaven in earnest prayer. And promise stern that not one star Shall lose us place from out '•tiod'g H&g;" Though rebel toe with (reason dire. Essay its folds in dual lo drag. Brave soldiers! tlio' its crimson bars Are stained anew with patriot gore, God made that flag,"guiird well its stars, And bear it proudly as of yore. For be assured, in Cod's own time, There'll lie an end of strife and « The sun of peace again shall shine "tiod made thai lias," guard well its bars. A l)!»nd of veterans proudly tread A Northern oil v's crowded street; Willi joyous heart, ami lifted head Their old-time comrades' ranks to'ineet. Ami when above them, floating fair, Our country's tanner greets the eye. Ten thousand voices rend the air, Ten thousand arms are raised on high. The inn gleams on its crimson bars, All spott »d with dead comrades' blood; "God's flag" holds all itt glitter ng stars, For stalwart forms have round it stood, And guarded every sacred told, With hinds of steel, and heaits of gold. P. HAUPERISCH, MoHeury, Illinois^ # »i. # Inform the farmers of Me.Henry and «ti»toundinff country that he is prepared to sell them a FIRST-CLASS; PLOW, An-1 warrant theeame,at a lower price than tan i<o purchased elsewhere In the county, Al «indi of RLACKSM1TH1NG, WAGON %v\ * 4RRIAGE work promptly attended to. "tali kinds on short notice. fl^Give nsa xiit s nd we will please you both in quaiitr in I • rice of work. P. HAUPERISCH. Mu Henry, IlL, Oct. 7th, UN. 11 J SALOON and RESTAURANT Buck's Old Stand, McHENRY, ILLINOIS. Fine Kentucky Liquors, . French Bitters, McHenry Lager Beer, f|}ks' Uilw&ukM Beer, By the Bottle or Case. buy none but the best and sell at Reasonable Prices. Call and see meaud I will use you well, ANTONY ENGELN. McHenry. 111., 1884. Important to Ruptured Persons The Excelsior Rupture Cure M'f'g Co., ot Ogdensburg, N. Y.. guarantee to cure any case of reducible HeriTa with tj,elr Remedies. THBBUPTURE PLASTER AND HEALING COM POITND. This treatment is endorsed by our best Doctors', Druggists, and the general pnblic. Bend 6cts for free book on Bapture or ask your druggist for the liemedj- Making Toast at the Camp-Fire. Many of the surviving veterans of the olr] Massachusetts6(h regiment will doubtless remember the following In­ cident of their camp life in Alexandria: One day a northern lady whose noble heart bled to see the sufferings 01 tne heroes who were flghltlng lor their country's honor, visited the camp just as . the "boys" were preparing their evening meal. A large tire had been built for the purpose of cooking coffee and toasting bread. One poor fellow who was so sick that he could hardly move, crawled painfully to the fire wltb a slice or bread stuck upon the end of a bayonet, fie had approached Iron) the leeward, but did not have strength enough to crawl out of the smoke. The !ady took the impromptu toasting fork from his hand and soon returned the bread toasted to a deli­ cate 3ha«fe of brown. Looking she daw another comrade equipped in like man ner standing by her side, looking wist fully at the toast and then at his own sliceof bread. She could not refuse this silent, appeal, and the second slice was toasted in like manner. Before she left that block of wood she had toasted seven or eight loaves of bread, and the hungry veterans had a feast that reminded them of home comforts. After the toasting process was completed, the lady looked behind her and there beheld two or three com­ panies of the regiment seated in a semi circle around her devouring toist like hungry children. She says that she looks back upon that supper with the Massachusetts 6th regiment as one of the pleasantest events of her lite.-- Boston Journal. -MTBIS A TRCRSTOKTt f|ow Gen. Grant is Said to Have Saved Gen. Lee Prom Arrest. The war was over. Gen. Lee and hi? half-tdarved Confederates had returned to their desolated homes 011 their par- role of honor. The victorious Northern and Western armies, under command of Grant and Sherman, were encamped in and around Washington City. Jef­ ferson Davis was an inmate of Fortre°s Monroe and Edwin M. Stanton was the power behind the throne, who ran the Government while Secretary of War. Oens. Grant and Riwllns were play­ ing a game of billiards in the Natioual Hotel and two civilians were indulging in that pastime on an opposite table. A major in the regular army entered the spacious room la a hurry and whis­ pered to Gen. Grant. The latter laid his cue o 1 tbe table, saying: "Rawlius, don't disturb tbe balls until I return,** and hurried out. One of tbe civilians said to the other: uPay for the game and hurry out. There is something op." Gen. Grant had reached the street, where, In front or the hotel, stood a mounted sentinel. Grant ordered the soldier to dismount and springing into the saddle.put spurs to the horse, rode up the avenue so fast as to attract the attention of the pedestrians. The first civilian questioned the soldier as to the cause of such sudden hasta on the part of General Grant, but was answer­ ed with the surprise of one who knew nothing. The second citizen appeared, saying: "What has becomo of Grant?" On being told, of the General's break neck ride up Pennsylvania avenue it was decided to go to the War Depart­ ment and learn the cause, if possible. Col. Barroll, of the 2d Regular Infan­ try, and husband of Sue Denln, the actregg, was disbursing officer in the Quartermaster's Department, presided over by Gen. Rucker, and to the Colo­ nel one of the civilians went for information. Asking him if he knew the reason of Gen. Grant's hasty action and If lie had 6een the hero of the hour around the department, Col. Barroll answered'• Yes,"' but was surprised at anybody's knowledge of the event. When told of what had transpired I11 a billiard r >ora of the National Hotel, the Colonel said: 'Well, as you are aware of the coming of Gen. Grant I will tell you all^abont it, provided J|»u promise not to repeat it." The promise being given, Col. Bar roll said: "Secretary Stanton sent for one in reference to the execution of certain orders, and while listening to his instructions, Gen. Grant came In, The Secretary greeted the General with a pleasant 'Goad morning,' which the latter returned, and in continuation said: 'Mr. Secretary, I understand you have issued orders for the arrest of Gen. Lee, and others, and 1 desire to know if such orders have been placed io the hands of a?iy officer for execu­ tion ?' " 'I have issued wrltg for the arrest- of all the prominent Confederates and officers will be dispatched o'n the mis­ sion pretty soon,' replied the Secre- tary. Gen, Grant appeared cool, thodgh laboring tinder mental fr'ScStettit'rit, and quickly said: rendered to me at Appomattox Court House I ,;ave him my word of honor that neither lie nor any of his followers would be disturbed so long as they obeyed iheir parole ot honor. I have learned nothing to cause me to believe that any of my late adversaries have broken their promises, and have c »me liero to make you aware of the fact, and would also suggest that thosa orders be canceled.* Secretary Stanton beoarme tevrlbly angry at being spoken to in such a manner by an Inferior ofHcer. and said: " 'Gen.Graut,, are you aware to whom you are talking# $ am the Secretary of War.' * Quick a* a flash Grant answered back: 'And I am Gen. Grant. Issue those order* at your peril.' Then turn­ ing on his heel, Gen. Grant walked out of the room as unconcerned as If noth­ ing had happened. "It is needless to s«y,n continued Col. Barroll, "that neither Gen. Lee or any of his soldiers were arrested. I was dismissed from the presence of the Secretary with the remark that my services in connection with the arrest of the leading Confederate* would be dispen sed with until he took time to consider, and I now await the result of i.is decision." Like some casas In law, that decision of the great War Secretary was reserv­ ed for all time, but whether the game of billiards between Gens. Grant and Rawlins was ever played out to an end has never been di finitely known, though it was surmised that with tlie aid of a consoling cigar the game was finished. Written for the Plain lealer. ««K9SKR'S OKOIXgRIVX. , NO. 24. *T h. L. D., ST. LOCT8, wo. THE CfiruD-WIFE. Moses Claphamsoq sat on tlri a of his noat little cottage, of wMdpf was immeasurably proud and always endeavoring to keep Its shi coat of paint in the newest condt possible. Hon ifiuckle* twined a| the pillars of the pOrch, their va(. tints contrasting pleasingly wlthl! glitter of the white paint. " The ing shadows were falling sileatlf f softly. The sun had s*nk belo* horizon, but »till streaked with hue a huge billowy cloud that like a tinted snowball oa the milt t'ie fading sky, Moses Claphamson witSf evidentS deep thought. His brow was deeply knitted than usual, and e^ now and thea he puffed at his pl| vigorously as to send thick rolum^ smoke rolling down his wind-pt such occasions he would cough ly, and when through, a he4iipai dammi would issue from between' lips, muffled by the bear J that profusely upon his chubby face. The moon began to shed its light 011 the sleeping rose3 io the den, and the stars sent forth ti many s >arks of twinkling Are. Clapliam?on suddenly roused hit and kicked tlie cat under the rockl chair. Then, reseating htraaelf lie lowed loudly: "Fraa of mine bo Kommen sle hier!" Immediate! musical voice answered liim fronj doorway: "Sure, and I'm here, ouId fatty ! Faix. yez don't nee# thinktu' I'm over lo tiie navbours, a mile away! What are yez afther waiitiif?" Moses Claphamson arose from the cliak and eyed his child-wife sadly, sternly, yet with eyes that were pregnant with unutterable love. Said he: "Bridget, I promised der preacher vat vas married us, to staixlt du by all droo our life. But mindt du, If du dondt can treat me be^ser, ! will dake some revenge. If <|u hs cholera in der night. I vill jornma' du mlt von dQughnut. an f dhro« oudt las window, so help ipe fhR ehlfd-wife bent heir seoiued iii a cputj A Newspaper Man's Requisites. Curtis Guild, in a lecture before th j Boston newspaper men, said: ' What, then, some men may inquire, are the requisites for the .newspapefr business? An answer to this suggests itseif in a reply, in somewhat powerful terms, I will admit, that 1 made to a pale, hol­ low chested young man of twenty-two or three, who once waited upon mo with an inquiry of a similar nature. He had a few thousand dollars aud had just graduated from college, an J want­ ed to join with somebody to start a paper. Start a paper! This is thought by almost everyone outside the busi­ ness one of the easiest and pleasantest things in the world to do--and so it is if you have plenty of'money to start with; but it i- not the starting, but the keeping of it going at a profit, that calls for brains. I recall now the reply probably prompted by a day's severe and exhaustive work, when, after list­ ening patiently as possible to the youug man's crude notions respecting a business in which lie had no experi­ ence, lie begged,I would tell him, ui as few words as possible, the qualifications necessary to prosecute the business successfully. He was somewhat startled by the assertion that they were as follows: A brain as flexible and elastic as steel. * A memory as tenacious as iron. A temper even as that of a saint. A ingestion equal to that of ,ap ostrich. !! And the eudaranoe of adamant." fearing he ha<T^rotiHHed Iter too ly lie addttd gently: "But du vas kn Bridget, mine dear, somedimes 1 (ii»i dvi 1st how a blossom, vat blooms undt dies, undt den I sit down by der table and weeps. Kiris Dick-uS done das vay, only I gry in mi -itt brt d timl mfieh. Oh. I do live you so very much!** Their eves met, and by iinitu tl i upulse they rushed toward each other's arms. On- ' fortunately,Moses Ciapha nso-i stubbed his toe on tiie cat at this riiimeot of supreme bliss, anil fell violently fo^; v ward, his head Btriking his beautiful child-wife In the forehea.J, and knock­ ing her prone upon tiie porch. In at*, Instant the alarmed husband sprang to his feet, and observed that the cat was dead. Then turning to her whom he loved better than all tbe world, loudiy: ' Bridget, mine own true lovei vake up some more!" Call her not, bereaved natn! The sparkling light In her eyes ts forever quenched, aud nothing but the pal* clay lying before you remains of four innocent child-wife. Too well, too truly, did you think her like a blossom, born to fade and die! The moon waxed dimmer and di timer, and the stars grew less distinct. The dawn began sl >wly unfurling its silver mantle In the east, and the first ruddy beams of the sun shone upon a broken hearted man. crying In his bread and milk. The day after was appointed for the funeral, Tii^ roams svere «ltrt^a» curtained, and a jjho»;ly «hlll perme­ ated the air. flow softly treads tho usually gay domestic, as she mashes the dog with the dish-rag. Moses Ciaphamson sat beside the bier^ til» f head burled in his h mds. Suddenly lie was knocked senseless to the floor by a terrific whack, and t&e domestic, looking around, shrieked: "A ghostl^ and fell down cellar in a swodn. Tbe child-wife had risen in all her virgin muscle, and bloom, and had used the broom on her husband's head, suppose ing he had fallen upon her purposely. She had only been stunned. A funeral took place next day as announced, bat it was not the child-wife. It was Moses Claphauison. ' v • ; r £ t('V«l4U Ps^'These's a land that is fairer than day, but it must be a land witfcout mosquitoes, fleas, cyclones, droughts* or cigaretts.--C%!eqgro >Sui. Oh, ex-C tend the list. Take in the cjutttrjr) wood subscriber, the book agout wit&? cheek as tough as the hide of the rhinoceros, the dot-tor who never ad­ vertises, but always reminds you of the "successful and wonderful surgical operation by which he extracted * corn from the toe of Miss Gush," ttto chap who borrows his reading matter and invariably denounces *11 news­ papers, and lust but not least the ex­ change fiend. Darn hi Chronicle. For Sale. Fortv acres of land, situated one a half mll^s South of Solon. Mellow County. Th^re is » good house.stabfa and other outhouses on the preuii Will be sold reasonable. Apply to o. vr.'TKsasimtx^ Dated July 21st, 18S5. 114 .