McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 5 Aug 1885, p. 7

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r<A: Boys, do you remember that secret society we organized at the old school- house many years ago? I have been thinking about it for a week, and whenever I think about anything ao long aa tha^ I am obliged to write. It was known as the "I. J. L. S.," but what on earth those cabalistic initials were intruded for was one of our pro- fonndest secrets. The meaning of those letters was as simple as could be, and as the society is dead, with no pros- r»ct of resurrection, it strikes me that am absolved from my oath of secresy, and I will explain it The meaning was plain, barn-yard "Iuka Juvenile Literary Society," a something which there was about us much necessity for keeping secret as there would be for concealing the name of the President of the United States. We organized the "L J. L. S." for a purpose. We had a lyceum in the vil•} lage* ani the old men came in and took; the reins and elected each other to of­ fice and monopolized the thing until we scarcely got a smelL This deter­ mined us to start a little boom of our own, and the "L J. L. S." was the re­ sult We had a form of initiation, grips, signs, pass-words and other pe­ culiarities too numerous to mention/ and while we did not make a specialty of anything but literary excellence, ws incidentally pledged each other etei* nal friendship and brotherly devotion, and sw ore to shed the last drop of our blood, if necessary, to protect a brother who might deem it advisable to make our sign of distress. It is scarcely necessary to remark that very little blood was ever shed as a result of this solemn covenant. On one occasion, however, I made the sign of distress. A dog had laid hold upon my sitting material, and I wanted help very badly. Aa none of the members of our society were within twenty miles of me, how­ ever, no blood was shed in effecting my rescue. I simply sneaked away,/while thd dog held so much of my pantaloons in his mouth that he was nnable to see whether 1 was in them or not^ At the next regular meeting of the society, resolutions of condolence and sympa­ thy were passed, and a copy of the same duly engrossed, was furnished me by the secretary. Our initiatory ceremony was one of the worst conglomeration of the sub­ lime and the ridiculous I have ever seen. We hoodwinked the candidate and brought him into the room sing- ing "Broad is the Road that Leads to Death," as we slowly marched him around. We always omitted the first stanza until after the second had been sung, and by the time we came to "And thousands walk together there, we had walked the candidate up a Elank, one end of which rested on a eadles) barrel half full t>f water, and the other on the floor, timing his pro­ gress so he would step off the plank into the barrel just as we came down heavy on the "there." Of course, he got wet We intended he should, but as he had solemnly sworn to bravely xand uncomplainingly submit to our right honorable rites, all he could do was to make the best of it We then led him up to a pumpkin, and suddenly removing the hoodwink, commanded him to "Behold this striking emblem of what you are!" Our sensitive fellows always get mad at this point. Our pass-word was "Ye-a-e-hoo," accented heavily on the "a" and "boo." and in the still hours of the summer night it could be heard all over town, and was always followed by a chorus of "Yo-ha- e-pool" which was the prescribed an­ swer. I oiten wonder that the whole community did not interpret our intent in using it At one time we had $2.86 in the treasury, and talked about erecting a temple, but one of our members stumped h's toe and we hod to pay it over to him as sick benefits. We paid $4 per week sick benefits, and as only 10 cents per quarter could be collected as dues and assessments under our con­ stitution, we found our treasury de­ pleted and our lodge in debt at the end "of the first week of sickness, and as we had voted to buy some silver em­ blematic pins with the money jra hand, we all lost courage and let the thing go down. We had a funeral ceremony which we were foresworn to render in full in case of the death of one of our members. Looking back to those happy, egotisti­ cal days now, I cannot lielp feeling gratified that the society died before any of its members, otherwise, the sur­ viving members of the "I. J. L. S." might have been arrested for disorder­ ly conduct at a funeral. The society is dead, but memory of what it was lives in the breast of every mother's son of all who were its members, and all you need to do to discover that the old fraternal spirit yet exists, is to go out of doors in Ipk», Illinois, some still night and yell: "Ye-ha-e-hoo!" You will get more "Yo-a-e-poos!" than you. know what to do with in less than five minutes, and they will all come from big, stout men, too.-- Through Mail. How Circus Boys Are Trained. I can corroborate from an indelible recollection what Mr. Whittingham says about the barbarous cruelty by which circus boys are taught to per­ form their tricks for the amusement of the public. I once went into a well known circus in the daytime--it is a far better known circus than Qinnett's, but I shall not name it, as I do not wish to be obliged to prove my #words in a court of law--and I saw a poor lit­ tle devil of about 8 or 10 years of age going through his morning drill in the ring. He had nothing on but a shirt and pair of trousers, and had to make a certain number of Bomersaults, five or six, without stopping, from one line drawn in the dust to another. In or­ der to come back to his starting line he had to pass every two or three minutes, giddy and panting, between the cush­ ioned ring and a gentleman, one of the proprietors of the circus, who held in his hand a long, heavy, cutting whip, such as I imagine a cow-boy might use to subdue a buck jumper. If the little beggar performed the prescribed num­ ber of somersaults, Mr. Merryman let him pass with a smile and one--only one--long, playful cut across the shoul­ ders, a facetiousness which always elic­ ited a howl from the victim and a grin from the grooms. But if he failed in one of his somersaults, if, as often hap­ pened, the little arms were too weak to support the body in the reverse posi­ tion. then the cruelest jockey that ever aat down to finish by a neck was an angel compared to Mr. Merryman: The long, cuttiag wliip traveled, with an in­ describably horrible sound, from the nape of that child's neck to the calves of his legs, and the flimsy cotton shirt and ragged breeches were little or no protection. I was only a boy then, and could do nothing but go away sick. From that day to this I have never been able to go to a circus, though I hoped, until I read Mr. Whittingham's letter, that the system had disappeared along with a great many other barbari- 'Now, I fehell neverjto into a oir- eus tlemen in glee should appear cheeks smeared mil or other a horrible vision of" a whal back would come before my eyes and the swish of that terrible whip would sound in ray ears.--Exchange*? w f ••i Crowded Towns. It Is easy to understand why and cities are becoming oferron with an extra number of laborers, mechanics, tramps, and idlerB. At the prices of farm produce farmers cannot pay as high wages as are offered laborers or plerks in the towns. The young man ifi the country who is toiling ten or twelve hours per day, and out of the reach of saloons, billiard halls and otii#* places of evening amusements, is xwtp,content to work for $20 per month, wiie; ' i#if" *' V* >7 • - ? ' en ho learns that some of his young acquaint­ ances are clerking in town for $50 or $00 per month, with all the advantages of city life. He is uneasy and disap­ pointed with farm life, and rashly breaks loose from home and friends and goes'to the town. He probably fails in getting employment, and goes to the next town, or to some large city, where Re thinks he has better opportunities •of employment He ha<v> but little money, which is soon gone. He has to abandon respectable boarding-houses and respectable company. He is thrown among the worst oompany,, who are shrewd and plausible in schemes for making or getting money easier than work on a farm, or even by clerking. The consequences are, honest young men are frequently Jed astray, first ap­ parently in honest enterprise, then by those of more doubtful propriety, until he is a tramp or a criminal. In this way the ranks of the idle And ticioua are constantly recruited, and the towns are full of them, which the police are not able to detect or sultdi^e. The cities are already, in all depart­ ments of industry, over supplied with'* help. Chances to obtain lucrative or large salaries are scarce, and constant employment for the common laborer is, almost impossible to be had. Pubnc improvements do not employ* half the force they did three tg, five years ago. The depressed price of farm produce. will not justify paying higher wages or employing more hands on the farms. The reduction of the tariff two yaars ago to the amount of about $40,00©,ftQir takes that amouut yearly from the la­ borers, artisans, mechanics, and manu­ facturers of this country and gives it to that class in Europe. These things are creating uneasiness, restlessness, and idleness. And idleness is the par­ ent of vice and crime. It is a difficult problem in political economy to solve. It is a serious matter to have to 6olve it as was done at Lemont, Illinois, re­ cently. And yet it is probable, if Con­ gressional and State legislation do not tend more to the protection and reward of American labor, the mob spirit will severely test the strength and stability of this government. j Crowding to towns for higher wfiges, abandoning the frugal and honest In­ dustry of the farm is rapidly recruiting the army of idle men who will become desperate in sentiments and actions, and thinking "the world owe them a liv­ ing," whether they make an honest effort to earn it, they will imbibe tli4 communistic principle, and make war on capital and economio industry. These are serious questions to be solved in the future.--Iowa State Register. Canadian SawaiiiW.^ Huge trunks of trees floated Ihzi^y down the Ottawa and its atfluentg far hundreds of miles till they reach a row of monsters, full of greedy teeth with­ in, which straddle over the current Here the trunks, all slippery and drip/ ping, are caught up at one eud of a shed and issue from the other,; literally in a few minutes, in such finished plank* as you might buy froth a Carpenter lit Notting HilL The way in which a great log, ten feet or twelve feet round,» hoisted fresh from the water, laid upon a track, pinned ricridly down in an in­ stant, and then, suddenly, by means of a great whirling saw, finds one Bide of himself as flat as a wall, is almost truculent You expect him to cry out. But he is sliced up before he has time to think. I saw one of the smaller trunks cut into eight thiee-inch twen­ ty-one feet planks in seven seconds. In a very few minutes more these were trimmed and thrust out into the build? ing world; so far ready for use. Large and small tree) are disposed of at an equal rate. Some half dozen mouths, in a row, within one shed, keep gob­ bling them up at the same time and sending them out in clean deal boards withont any appearance of chips, saw­ dust, or rounded outside slabs. These all disappear rapidly through holes in the floor, and no litter accompanies the neat procession of planks which make their appearance at the land end of the shed, and are rapidly carried off in trucks. The accumulation of "deals" at Ottawa is of course enormous. When you look down from the terrace behind the Houses of Parliament the river banks far inland are seen to be brown with square stacks of prepared timber awaiting ex]>ort And much of the water is like Alderney cream. That is from the sawdust which is whirled down the river from the mills. When a steamer traverses these yellow plains their more appropriate resemblance to wood recurs, for the sheets of spray spring from her bows like coils of shaAr* i n g s f r o m a p l a n e . ' . H i < A Millionaire^ Appetite. "Cook," the new gastronomic news­ paper, has learned from a p^sonaj in­ terview what Jay Gould eats chiefly. "Plain meats and vegetables, good bread and butter, good milk, sometimes' porridge or grits for breakfast, satis#? me," he says. "As yod m$p suppose, ! find my time filled up pretty well with business, and I certainly find that I can get along better when my food is the plainest of the plain. I have never lost my fondness for the country food I used to be accustomed to in my boyhood, and I think I could relish one of those 'midnight' melons as well now at I did then, although I should probably eat it at a different time. Elaborate ^dinners are terrible things. I remember once being at one und eating some dish, I forget the name of it, whigfc whs very good, but after which I was sick for a week. Now when I go to them I take a little soup if it is plain, a piece of roast meat or game and some plain potatoes, if I can get them. |f not, some peas or in fact any vegetable, pro­ vided it is without sauce, for t have found that these sauoes, which they put on what would otherwise be good, spoil the food--at least for me. For the rest of the time I sit at the table; play w ith something on my plate and pass the time as well as I can." In general that man is a coward who shapes hiB course of aetiofci py^hiq fears; and he alone is a man of feai cburage who dares to do right These are at present in the United States 116 medical schools, and there is one physician to every 585 inhabifj#il^| Any traveler wfao has drawtd the fried by and ha* seetTthe Turcovan camps and Afghan villages with which it is atudded, hk»f survey*!* a! »OB»glaose the past and the present of Central •si*y. Ihf fortretts-like Afghan hamlet, wip it^htgeigraf nAd wall and nar- sinister loop-holes, behind which The low, flat-roofed earthen hovels hud­ dle so c'oiely together as barely to leave passage roam between them, re­ presents the marauding shepherd of the east in his more advanced stage of fixed residence in one spot, but still re­ taining enough of his guerrilla nature to regarct every stranger as an enemy, and 10 build every house like a fort The light Turcoman tent of felt and sap­ lings, set up or pulled down in a few moments, typifies the tame .man in his original character of a wandering herdsman, flying from his enemy or f>otihdfnf£ upon him with equal sudden­ ness, swooping off with his booty into the desert like one of its own vultures, ever occupied With the duties of find­ ing grass and water for the flocks and herds that formed his whole posses­ sions, and of anticipating apy foe who wished to cut his throat by cutting the latter's tlttoet first r * But dteJrpite all these bandit qualities the Turcoman at home is not a bad fellow by any means. Drawing bridle on the crest of ono of those long, low TOt eUs thafe break»«t times the gray un­ ending sameness of the vast plains of Central Asia, you see below you a tiny stream, sharply Outlined against the surrounding defeat by the dark belt of undergrowth fringing it On the bank stand a dozen or more huge, pointed, dark gray objects very inuoh like gigan- tio "dunceoaps," around which a num­ ber of sheep and cattle are feeding -A, shrill cry from a tall figure jfrnaQg tbara brings outof the tents half a score of gaunt, sinswjr fellows in soiled, white tunics and high caps of black sheepskin, handling menacingly timnpe*r$ and guns which they have snatched up. ~ The Turcoman "Beg," or chief (for siich he is), greets you with a guttural 'eroedeid" (you are welcome) ikauring than the short curved bre reach of his hand, which sfrowsfby its notches that it has once done *a' thriving business. But its master is now a tolerably peaceful sub­ ject of liussi% converted by that per­ suasive strategy which might give a hint to the invaders of the Soudan: "We never wasted time in pursuing them, but beset the watercourses whither they must repair sooner or later, and theu we had them at our mercy.1' He kindly offers you a seat on a newly flayed and still bloody sheepskin and hands you an earthen jar of milk and a wooden spoon, licking the latter clean us a special compli­ ment Should you arrive on the day of unwonted plenty, which results from a camel's death by age or diease, you may preface with the blue, 6tringy meat a bowl of "brick tea" with salt for su­ gar and rancid fat for cream. The chief's littie brown girls, who crowd around you to play with your sash tas­ sels and the fringe of your turban, wear a small brass coin imbedded in tlie skin of the forehead, a Turcoman lady's traditional ornament ever since Isaiah denounced its Hebrew counter­ part But with all this hospitality you will do wisely not to prolong your call, as every Turcoman tent swarms with Methodism la tjpot» In the _ land, * certain eotMrresation, was fifth-Ma£,de«lro<I ttvimiMa new chapel.' A oh»m*i Me>eetin»i.was feetd. l*e old rlctf Scotchma. rose and said: "Brethren, we dinna need a new chapel; I'll give £5 for rep^rs." Just then a bit of plaster falling from the celling hit toloi on the bead. Looking up and seeing bow bad it was, be said:, "ftfetbrcn, It* worse tboa 1 thouefct; l'U make It 50 pun ." "Oh, Lord," exclaimed a devoted, brother on a back seat, "bit 'im again:" There are many hun:an tabernacles which are in sore,need of radical building over, but we putter and fuse anil repair in epoia With­ out satisfactory results. It is only « hen we are personally alarmed at the real danger that we act independently and do the right thin?. ,Then It is that we most keenly re­ gret because not sooner use our judg­ ment, follow the adv-ce born of the ex­ perience of "others, aad Jump away from our perils. Thousands of persons who will read this paragraph are in abject misery to-day. when thej miiht be in a t-atialaetorv condition. They are weak, lifeless, full of odd aches and pains, and every year they know they art; getting worse, even though the best doc­ tors are patching them in spots. The origin of th. se aches and pa ns is the kidneys and liver, and if they would bulid these all over new with .Warner's 6a!e cure, as millions have done, and tease investing their money In miserably unsuccessful patchwork, they would be well and happy, and would bless the day when the Lord "hit 'era" and indi­ cated the common-Reuse course for them to pursue.--London Prett. indigenous creepers" not classified by aay y|ari^. j-3Tett> York Time*. *' j The Soft Sunlight. The blinds were open. The soft sun­ light-of May streamed into the room. "Mother." said a girl whose rich hair spread over the pillow, like a glossy covering, "prop me up. I want tro look ^etit. gfein the grass is. Snow was on the ground when I went to bed. Mother, didn't you say that I would be well by spring?" "Yes, darling." "But I am not welL" I The mother sighed. "Ah, chiMl I fear you did not stop work soon enough. Yon sewed your life away." "I didn't know. I knew that I had to work. I did ao long for spring to come, but now that it is here, the air is cool. Mother, see if I have a chilL" "No, darling," the mother replied, placing her hand on the girl's brow. A carriage passed. Merry laughter came in with the Bunlight. A frolick- some boy, held by a happy woman, threw a rose toward the window. "I wish I could ride in a carriage. I have seen so little of the world, mother, and the little I have seen has not been rich with pleasure. There, mother, I make you weep. I will not complain. It was only for a moment" She put her wasted arms around her mother's neck. "No, I will not complaim. I know that you have done the best you could. Please put the blanket on my feet Mother, don't you remember once when they asked me to join the church ?" "Yes, precious, but don't let that worry you." v.- v "Oh, it does not worry me," she re- flied with a smile. "I am not afraid, have never harmed a living thing. I could never bear to keep a bird in a cage. God could not have the heart to punish such a poor; frail thing as I am, conld He mother?" 1 ">o, mv darling. Don't let your mind dwefl upon such subjects." 1 "They are hot unpleasant, mothor. How I do love you," she said, pressing her' mother's head against her poor bosom. "In all my life I don't think that I have loved you-to much as I do pow, Ypu look beautiful to me. Don't eW msther, frfease doe'-t " - my ungtdrrrmy all, how can I give yon up!" "I)on't mother--don't You must not talk that way. Last night when you thought I was asleep, I heard you pray forpae. There now, mother. Ease me down^ Has tj^e sun stopped shining ?" "So, darling." t"I don't see it. No, it's gone. Kiss me--kiss me again*," * * • The soft May sunlight streamed into the i oom and fell upon ii coffin. A car­ riage passed. A happy woman held a frolicksome bov.--Arkannaw Traveler. The gifaQip has perhaps the most as­ tonishing mimicry of any animal. Its great size, which enables it to live on lofty tree-boughs in its native African forest?, makes it also a most conspicu­ ous object to its enemes, of which the most dleaded, are the lion and fifa*. ^udh is its mimicry, hoi etoefir, •* that the * most prac­ ticed eye has failed to distinguish the giraffe from one of the dead and blasted trees which abound in the haunts of this aqim|l. Reliable evi­ dence adSurea Us that lions have been know to gaze long and earnestly at 9 motionless giraffe, and. being unable to decide that it was not a tree, to turn and »kulk aw^y. A LrxxjKY is a thing yon don't want .^nJgl s^oitebody else with it. Get 44 There Wont Be Any Fun Till I There." I was designated by the Secretary of War as a sort of special escort to ac­ company the President from Washing­ ton to Gettysburg upon the occasion of the first anniversary of the battle at that place. At the appointed time I went to the White House, where I found the President's carriage at the door to take him to the station, but he was not ready. When he appeared it was rather late, and I remarked that we had no time to lose in going to the train. "Well," said he, "I feel about that as the convict in one of our Illi­ nois towns felt when he was going to the gallows. As he passed along the road in custody of the Sheriff the peo­ ple, eager to see the execution, kept crowding and pushing past him. At last he called out: ' Boys, you needn't be in such a hurry to get ahead; there won't be any fun till I get there.'* Upon one occasion, when I was at the White House in the course of duty, the President, after disposing of the matter in hand, said: "You are in oharge of the appointment office. I have here a bushel-basketful of applica­ tions for oflices in the army. I have tried to examine them all, but they have iflcreased so rapidly that I have got behind and may have neglected some. I will send them all to your office. Overhaul then^ lay those that require further action oefore the Sec­ tary of War, and file the others." The bushel-basketful of applications came and were overhauled. They were dot­ ted with notes, comments, and queries by the President One slip of paper-- which I handed to the President, with the remark that I supposed he would not care to have it placed "upon the official flies--bore a memorandum in his own handwriting as follows: "This day Mrs. called upon me. She is the wife of Maj. ----, of the regular army. She wants her husband made a Brigadier General. She is a saucy little woman, and I think she will tor­ ment me till I have to do it. A. L." It wis not long before that little wom­ an's husband was appointed a Briga­ dier General.--Gen. J. B. Fry. ! The Present. . I am not her j** oh-yin-one anj cher­ ished idols. I snorethe general rever­ ence for the greatness ol the past, de­ spite its blemishes; but in the compari­ son I deny the decay and demoraliza­ tion and depravity of our times. We suffer from evils which our fathers could not know; evils which have come with the growth of wealth and popula­ tion and power; from speculative greed, and corporate aggrandizement and ring rapacity; from the vices of great cities and the conltict of great interests. But, in spite of all this, the level of the age is higher. The world is everywhere moving forward. Before Waterloo the code of Europe was the law of conquest or the balance of power; now it is the law of nationality or natural affinity. "Bismarck proclaims to-day in the Di­ et," said Lieber a dozen years back, "the very principles for which we were hunted and exiled fifty years ago." Burke, looking across the Channel, said: "I see a chasm in the place of France;" and Mirabeau thundered back: "It is the chasm of the volcano." But France, after the convulsions of a hundred years, has closed the abyss and become a stable republic. And in En­ gland, how great the progress from the profligate days of Walpole to the moral forces of Gladstone, and from the rot­ ten borough of Old Sarum to the re­ form which adds two millions to the body of electors! In our own country the average of intelligence and morali­ ty is steadily advancing. The general political and moral tone is improving. If the mountain peaks do not seem to tower like the Chimborazos of the past it is because we are up on the table land.--Charles Emory Smith'* Dick­ inson College Address. The President's House. There are various projects enter­ tained for the building of n private house for the President upon the high ground north of Washington. The plan will leave the present building simply to be used as executive offices of the President. It is not generally known the White House-was original­ ly built of brown stone. It was called then "the President's house," a much better nnme than the ugly one of the executive mansion. After it was burnt out during the war of 1812 the brown stone was painted white. From that day it has been known as the White House. John Adams was the first Pres- f pleted during his term. The East Boom was not lathed or plastered then. John Quincy Adams was the first Pres­ ident who occupied it after it was re­ stored. There has been no change in it from his time until this, with the ex­ ception of adding from time to time pieces of interior decoration or furni­ ture.--New York World. Blowing Up Hell Crate has been a lal oriom and costly work, bat the e;id justifies the effort Obstruction in any im; octant chun icl uu an-s d sifter. Ob^truc- t otis in the organ* of the human boiy bring inevitable disease. They mun bo cleared away, or physical wreck will follow. Keep the liver In order, and the pure blood courses t rough the boJy. con veying health, strength, and life; let it become d.sordered and the channels aie clog'ge.l with impurit e?, which result in disease and death. No other medi­ cine e juals Dr. Pierce's ' Golden Medic al Dis­ covery" for acting upon the liver and puri­ fying the blooi. The female locust has no voice and makes no noise, but Bhe„ does all tli6 rest of the devilment tvrthe won< Mr. T. Posey, druggist that city, who some time ago ins ptostmted by an excruciating attack of sciatiSa. After much Buffering his wife applied St Jacobs Oil, vhich cured him promptly and entirely. Drunken Chicago Women. Of course I will apologize to the fair sex for speaking of the "refreshment rooms" of popular confectionery shops and restaurants as "drinking saloons," but such they certainly are, and if any one will take pains to test the truth of this statement he'll find an extraor­ dinary demand for hansoms and gur- neys in front of these places late in the afternoon of any pleasant day. "Cab­ by" knows his business and says noth­ ing. He's been there before. He dis­ charges his fair patron at her own door in as comfortable a manner as possible, while a "sick headache" pre­ vents the lady from appearing with the family at the tea-table. If the sexes were reversed the verdict would be "the old man is drunk." But in this case "ma is worn out with shopping." I have seen young ladies scarcely out of their teens emerging from these places in a state of inebriety that verged upon total obliviousness. A restaurateur told me that his best paying customers were ladies of wealth and position, who could afford a private room and the best wine his house af­ forded. "Why," said he, "I've had as many as ten ladies at one time in my upper parlors, none of them able to walk across the room. What do I do with 'ekn ? Let 'em alone, refuse them more wine and give them all the apol- linairis and lemon they'll drink, and send 'em home at the proper time."-'-- Chicago letter. Wherever Malaria Kxlats, The billons are its certain prey. In intermittent and remittent fever, dumb ague and ague cake, the liver is always seriously affected, and the blood contaminated with bile. One of the chief reasons why Hostotter's Stomach Bitters is snch a sure defense against chills and fever and every form of malarial disease, is, that It does away with liability to the disease, by reforming ir­ regularity of the biliary organ in advance of the arrival of the season when the disease is preva­ lent. There is no finer fortifying preparative for those about visiting or eminratintt to a lo­ cality where the miasma-taint exists. There is no certain immunity from disease in an endem c or epidemic form, to be secured by the use ot the average tonics and anti-spasmbdics. But where Quinine tails the Hitters succeeds both in 1 reventing and curing. Moreover, it removes every vestige of dyspepsia, and overcomes con­ stipation, rheumatism, inactivity of the kid­ neys and bladder, and tranquillizes and strengthens the nervous system. Ident who ever occupied this building. It was, however, only partially com JIT They are called pi umlieis because ' the piumi< ,1 *.£! • i % Important to Scientists. "Just look at this eoin. It is more than a hundred years old," remarked Mrs. Yerger to Kosciusko Murphy. "That's nothing. I've got one/at home that's a great deal older |han that It's more than 2,000 years bld." "Look here. When you lie, why don't you lie so it will sound probable ? Don't you know it is utterly impossible for a coin to be 2,000 years old?" ob­ served Mrs. Y'erger, pleasantly. "Why is it impossible?" " 5 "Because this is only 1885/ It fif­ teen or twenty years from now you may have a coin 2,000 years old. A coin could not have been made before the beginning of time."--Texas Sifting<fc. Hill has been taken out of the Bible but it can still be had by the drink at the old price. "The Proper Study of Mankind Is aays the Illustrious Pope. If he had included woman in the list he would have beeu nearer the truth, if not to poetical. Dr. K. V. Pierce has made them b >th a life study, especially woman, and the peculiiar derangements to which I.or delicate system is liable. Many women in the land who are acijua ntod with Dr. Pierce only through Ills "Favorite Pre­ scription," bless him with all their hearts, for he has bt ought them the panacea for all thos>'e chronic ailments peculiar to their sex, such as leucorrlMt'a, prolapsus and other dis> placements, ulceration, ' internal fever," bloatinir, tendency to internal cancer, and other ailments. Price reduced to one dollar. By druggists. A little bov came to his mother recently and said, "Mamma, I should think that if I was made of dust I would get muddy inside when I drink." Wk guarantee the speedy, painless, and permanent cure, without knife, caustic, or falve. of the largest pile tumors. Pamphlet and references sent for two letter stamuls. World's Dispensary Medical Association Main street, Buffalo, N. Y. The young ladles' best friend- -their look­ ing-glass. Because it always gives them ••aids to reflection." linportaat. When you visit or leave New York City, save UagKage Expressage and Carriage Hire, and stop at the <>rand Union Hotel, opposite Grand Central Depot: COO elegant rooms fitted up at a cost of one million dollars, reduced to $1 and upwards per day. European plan. Elevator, Iteataurant supplied with the best. Horse cabs, stage, and elevated railroad to all depots. Fami­ lies can live better ror less money at the Grand Union than at any first-class hotel in the city. The pancakes eaten at Vassar College in one year would make a column eight miles high, if piled one upon another. There's high education for you. "Put up" at the Gault House. The business man or tourist will find first- class accommodations at the low price of S3 and $2.50 per day at the Gault House, Chica­ go, corner Clinton and Madison streets. This far-famed hotel is loeated in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. Elevator; all appointments first-class Hoyt & Gates, Proprietors. Kewsmax'r Peptonized Beef Tonic, th« only preparation of beef containing its eu tire nutritious properties. It contains blood' making, force generating, and life-sustaining properties; invaluable for indigestion, dys­ pepsia, nervous prostration, and all forms of peneral debility; also, in all enfeebled condi­ tions, whether the result of exhaustion, nerv­ ous prostration, over-work, or acute disease, particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaints. Caswell, Hazard & Co., proprie­ tors, Now York. Sold by druggists. The > kron Sower Pipe Is the best in the world. See advertisement in this paper. USE Frazer Axle Grease, 'tis the bsst in the world--will wear twice as lonir as any other. Ir afflicted with Sore Eyes, use Dr. Isaac Thompson's J$ye Water. Druggists sell it. 85c. RED STAR BITTERS. It will cure any case of Liver and Kidney troubles when properly taken. It is a perfect renovator and invigorator. H cleanses the sys­ tem of the poisonous humors that develop in Liver. Kidney and Urinary diseases, car- away all " HlO' t, re . It pr» Serious Illness of a Danserono Class of I poisonous matter and re- It I o tins it, r» JUind and Body. It prevents the growth to n mjf awuy cua vwi«vuvu» iu»iicr ana rps •toring the Blood to a healthy condition, cnrtchlnc it, refreshing and invigorating Diseases that be?in in mere trivial ail­ ments, and are too apt to be neglected aa such. THOUSANDS OF CASKS of the worst forms of these terrible diseases have been quickly relieved and in a short time perfectly cured by the use of Hons 4c Halt Hitters. Do net mt Hops and Halt Bitters con­ founded with Inferior preparations of similar name. Take Nothing but Hops A Malt Bit­ ters if vou want a sure Cure. HOPS & MALT BITTERS CO, Detmit, MICH. URE Awe from Opiate», JEmetfos mt%d ftlwst. A PROMPT, SAFE, SURE CURE Fee Ocacha, S«ps Thrsat, IlMrMMH, I*flucna% Calili. Brarhltta, Creap, Wkwplii( Conch, iltku. Qalasy, Paia* la Cheat, mdotler •fffcrtkma of »h« Threat •»<) Lang*. Price SO eents a bottle. Sold bv Pruuclrts and Pest­ ers. Partit* vnoils to induce their dealer to promptly get *t for them u>(ll rei-eiv* tico boult».ExpreucAargta paid, by tending one dollar to TUX CHARLES A. VOCE11K COS PAST, BoU Owner* find Manufacturer*. BAlilHoift Marvuai t Li* sura PIPE The Be.«t in the World Is the AKRON Send to the nndcraigned for it, as also for Drain Tile, Cement, Fire Clay. Ground Ilrirk. Chimney Tops, Chimney Flue Liuintrs, Plaster, Fire Sand, eto. N. A. WILLIAMS, 819 Washington Street Chicago, 111, Fire Brick DO NOT FORGET Perry Davis' Pain Killer : bSW 8 7~> Sicrs Is- e: % © « e|tf 8 * > E £® ©"as «ESP- Price, 25 cts., SO ct*. and 91-00 per Bottle. sorn by •! t, {From the IndktnapolU TYmes.] All IHTEREBESTIN8 LETTER From Mr. Harry W. Olmstrad, Proofreader Of "The Times." The following letter ia encouraging and worthy of careful perusal, coming, as it does, from so reliable a aouruc, unsolicited. It contains facts of great value: Indianapolis. Ind„ Oct. 13,1881. Dn. Davis Kk#1»ei>y, Itondout. N. Y.: Dkab Sib--For ten year* I have been a sufferer from disease of 'the ki.1ne.vs, at times so much so as to make life a burden. During this time several of the best physicians iu Indiana have treated me with little or no success, until I had almost despaired of relief. I then tried several advertised remedies, but Botiiiug produced the desired result until a friend who had been relieved induced me to give Dr.DAVID KENNEDY'S FAYOItlTE REMEDY a trial. I did 80. After taking one bottle I be^an to experience relief. 1 took another and was charmed with the result. In all, I have tiken four bottien, ami can truly say Ifeel like a new man. I am confident I am entirely cured, as it lias been several months nimv 1 took the last medicine, «nd there is no indication of a return of the disease. I have ri c ommenced your remedy to >ev- eral sufferhiB lriend< who have also l>een relievtd. I write this to return my sincere thunks to you tor the cure which has l»een effected in my esse, and also de­ sire to say I think Buffering humanity owes you a debt of prat.tiide for your wonderful sc ientific dis­ covery. I shall do all that in me lies to let all suf­ ferers know where they may ttnd relief, and thereby In some measure remunerate you tor the good you have done me. Wishing you long life and prosperity, and thanking you for prolonuing my life, I am HAlUtY W. OLMSTEAD. Dr. Kennedy, of Romluu!, N. ¥., assures the public, by a reputat on which he cannct afford to fo^ felt or imperil, that the "Favorite Remedy" does in­ vigorate the blood, cures Liver. Kidney and Bladder complaint*, as well aa those diseases and weaknesses peculiar to females. YourdruKgist has it; if not,send One Dollar to Dr. David Kennedy, Kondout. N. Y. f CI CDDIDIlV ifeiuciit Mid Situations | CUCQIUrn I furnished. Circulars fbju I VALENTINE lilt OS.. Janesville, Wis. OPIUMS hie Hafclt Cared la It . _ays. Mo pay till cared* . Stkphicvk. I^»hanon. OhiOk I IKC tlC AQAHT Fastest selling nook pun- Lirc Us Winn I • lished. Agent* wanted. A. E. DAVIS A CO.. 1(2 Washington St.. Chicago Avoid couxti-:lti'Kitn: Send us 25 cents and we will send you by return mail a box of the genuine l>r. McLane's Celebrat-m LiVTr Fills and eight handsome cards. Over fifty mil - ion boxes have been used l>y the people of the U. S. What better certificate could they have? FLEMING BROS., Pittsburgh. Pa. CO*! • A MieMpii Conowti [From the Rochester Hereh* lipliyi The following mjanction jp^l tained by the Hop Bitters Rochester, N. Y., against Col' Warner, of Reading, Michigan, ] him from manufacturing or selling man Hop Bitters:" The President of the United SUttetof Amir* tea to ColtatinuM D. Warner, of Reading^ Mich., his tercantB, workmen, salesmen* and agents, and each and every of them; Whereas, $ has been represented onto the Justices of our Circuit Court, the Hon. Stanley Matthews, and the Hon. Henry B. Brown, at Detroit, within and for said Dis­ trict, sitting as a Court of Chancery, that yon. Collations D. Warner, are manufacturing and selling a medicine named German Hop Bit­ ters, in traiKl'UH'it imitation of the Hop Bit- trra ra ide and sold by oomplslnant; your said med.cine being tic fined, calculated, a id in- tfiKteil to mislead the pablto into parcliasiax snch counterfeit goods as the manufacture ai the complainant. We, therefore, in oonsidefattoa of the prem­ ises, do strictlv enjoin yon, the said Collatlnoa D. Warn-r, and all and every the persons before named, from using the tcords Hop Bitters" cn any fluid * contained in bottles to ss to in­ duce the belief that such Holds are made by complainant ; and further, from manufactur­ ing. selling, or otferiac for sale any Mtters or other fluids in the bottles and with the labels, and in the general form in wbteh yon were man- ufact uring andjKlllng th^ bitters called by yon German Hop Bitters, on the filing of the bill; or in any other bottles, or with any other labels contrived or designed to represent or indnoe the bslief that tsie bitters or fluids sold bv yon ate the goods of the complainant, until the further order of the Court. * » « TdE HONORALE MORRISON B. WAITS. Chief Justice of the United Htatea. At Detroit, this fifteenth day of July, A. D. IWX. pu S.J Wslter & Haraha, (Hssife Pro--cute the Swindlers. If when you call for Hop Bitters the Druggist hsnds outanything but "Hop Hitter*" .with a green duster $165 GASH FOR :iO 1>AYM ONL.Y1 Will buy a New Upright or Square I31 -A. 3ST O ! Boxel acd on car-i. Stool and cover •6 extra. KERB'S TEMPLE OF MUNIO, 1MB State St.. rii'-.e". \ OENTS WANTED for every Exposi­ tion, State and County Fair iu the TInitcd States to sell the Only Self-8titcft Taking Embroidering Machine. Bend #1 for sample .Machine and terms to agents, to Automatic Rug Machine Co.. Morenci, Mich. Patented June 30, 1885. The best seilimr machine iu United St.ite*. R. U. AWARE THAT Lorillard's Climax Pliag bearing a red Ma (a# ; that Lorillardt Rese I,eaf Oneent ; that Lorillardto Jfawy Cllspiaga, and that Lorillard's Haaffls, are tne tmit and cheapest, quality connl'lered ? THE MAN WHO MAIMA 5 Ton Wagoa Scale* Ire* Lr*fH, &!»«( B«ert5get Ursa* Tvt Itat Mtd 8cs, fer 06O and JONES k« p«y« Ik* hi-for hm Frtrt Li»i icitntioa till* pap*? M•«. UNCI UMMMTM, Blofbamton, N.\« Send for 'Otij... utifullv Illustrated CftU'n^ue of Ba.._ » Pritm Corp* U*iro«us. 30 colored fiiblon plal**. Illustrations *ed prices f of Hats, Helmet*, Cap*, Pourhe*. IWu , Prtini Mij«* Outfits. Pompon?. Plume*. ' Epaulette*, shoulder Knots. GoJd Cord sod ce* Buttons* Ornaments* Baad and Proiit- :,ion and B*nn«r* Can Lamps Mo. l jihiMfc*. LYON * MIALY, CMcsgs J Nt CANCERS1 Treated eud curea without the knife, k on treatment sent free. Addreaa .. POND, M .1) . An ror i. Kane Co.. 111. FREE Write for^eepamphlet. Addreaa THE SKELi DRILL nHCUlWTU/UDNIT, GKKTBJC O^ft. Man and Beast . . Mustang Liniment is older than most men, and used more and more eveiy year. of Hops ou white label, xhun that Drujggiat _ would a viper: and it he ha- taken your mousy for a bogus stuff, indict him tor the frand and anemia tar damages for the swindle, and we will reward yonlib> erallv for ttie conviction. See I . S. Court injunction against C.D. Warner, Reading, Mich., and all his salesmen, agents, draf gists, and other imitators. PATENTS Naml-BMk K. S. * A. F. LAL. Patent Att'y*. Waahingtnn. FIB. Asents Wanted ros Lite aad Deeds »f fJ.EN'L ^JV Bf COLONEL It contains a full history of his noble and CTentfnl life. Introduction written by Orant'a Pastor,Brr.Dr. Newman. Col3nrr's work is Indorsed by C intimate friends. Send for extra terms to dress National PnbHatriaf Co. ~ $1000 REWARD A THEWTOa Vor aa? macbiDe tLvlhag aud JBB cleaning fit tor market a« Clo\er 8c«4 la OXK at the VICTOR DOUBLE HULLER. IUuttrmled circu­ lar mailed tt*r. NFWARK MACHINE CO., ColimS--. Ofcto. Prevention ltetter than Cure. -Bmcare/ "Chut'era:" Beware: Filter four Drinking Water. Eminent Physicians declare that close observation has determined that to the use of impure drinking water muvlie ascribed the existence of BummerOompwn^ Malarial AftecMou.Fevers.DiarrhtBa, Diphtheria,CMt> •ra, and a hot>t.of'otherdiseases. Be ( 77/F I'F/lFhCTlOX FILTER *it^pUe*^thl_*e mii/. i No household »liovild be without It. Heav uickel-iilated, fits any faucet, can be taken apart I cleaned in a lew niiuutss. Sales* fore. If not satisfactory after turned and money will be return packed free by mail.for Bl, stamps or bill. Address! ' all orders The Perfection Sitter, JKSIC. t Oth sUTt jCtty. I es larger than erer be- a djtf a trial, can be re­ funded. Hent saenrely • i BULLETIN BOARD' | flamiltoi's Pat. Dfsvlir Cknt.' I yy i i' lu&riTcT'i Every Merchant Wmfs One. AGENTS WANTED. Send tor cir­ culars and prioaa. HAMILTON & KATZ, TWO RIVERS. WIS. 3.50 For ii ELE6ANT WATGCui 111 ** ! * •i-M : J- To any one who remits us an.go by tar. exureas or poatofica money order, wa will send by racintcrwl mall aa bury item-wuidloc wateh with chain and charaa, and vffl Baa also made *** morons artfcbte, from Umm ft oaaa( the _ worth mere than I above described. If you wish to see araslty I b Interesting paper. pie copy. Yoa cannot vestment. Franklin abeet, Chieaso, OL r\x c.v.v. Ms. SS-H5 was la thiapai WRITING TO AD say yoa ia« the BAOA1TB Magnolia Balm is a secret aid to beauty. Many a lady owes her fresfkf ness to it, who would rather I.- •' • ' _ . *• * * # I ** .^ V A I**:L , , ' f t

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