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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 12 Aug 1885, p. 7

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6<*w«ff6^wwfc shades, on Baa- Mis duuM «!•« --« AndWOTehitiltiaiu ttfBmciita to prove,inlan- .?>» ^SKyjfl <<_tbc tThwefose, and 0m Tbus- BMaftiBat, - SiM mmri^Bplde subjects--each groveling But tuned htflt^votf to prove the Airiness of ^rcmodti>e vb*;tiMu To lower natures leaving the dollar*, and the She soared above the level at commonplace pre­ tense, A»d molded treatise* which prove the Thatnesa of the Tbenee. i to repeal the Thinkfnlness _ "by Bomewhat on Somehow's faee wn>Uidi% To otJ^hynotg tram tbe Whatnots' To cultivate our spirits with the Whyfore's clas­ sic flow, __ To benefit the Therenesi with the Highness of the How, To flood the dark with radiance from the This- ness of the Now. "What good has she aoctanplished?" Oh, never doubt her thus! * . It nm»t be useful to reveal the Plushes* of the Plus, To illustrate with oerkserew words the Which- ne» of the Us. ,., . Mock not, poor comAon mortal, when thoughts like these appear, Illumining our labor with the Howness of the Here, - - •. . . Ajsd blazing like a comet through the Ifowness of . the NesiW . .. i . • , r fkftne day in Realms Eternal such grand mist- haunted souls, Inscribe tHeir words of Whlchness on Where- fore-antic scrolls. In that great world of Muchness which through the Maybe rolls. Then shall we each acknowledge the Whyness of the Whence-- Each understand completely with Bensefulness of Sense-- v* The Thusness of the Therefore, the Thatness of the Thence. "The Cum*. % ' ' ' '*T%, s H. • . • *:&•• * DR. SPENCER'S GRIME. I was sitting in my office, half dozing oyer an interminable article on nutri­ tion in the last medical review. The fire in the grate WAS low, the night was stormy and th6 clock was on the stroke of eleven. I was just about to turn off the gas and retire, for, being a bachelor, I slept in the room connect­ ed with my office, when there was a pull at the bell. I started up suddenly, for this was something new. Middlebury was a de­ corous sort of place, and the people usually managed to be taken sick at seasonable hours. Old Mrs. Jerome had been threaten­ ing to die for tho past five years, and every time I visited her she solemnly informed me that when the decisive moment did come, she desired me pres­ ent. But as nothing ailed the old lady beyond now and then an J indigestion from too much high living, I had never vet been called upon to be present at her death.' * » /- j^ow, I thought, it must be old Mrs. Jerome going. v I took up my night lamp and went to the door. A strong gust of damp, sleet wind nearly extinguished the light, but, shading it with my hand, I dis­ cerned the face of a woman. "Come in," said I, holding open the door, but she declined with a gesture of impatience. "You must come out," she said in a sharp, incisive voice,"and be quick about it" I put on my overcoat without demur, looked the surgery door, and stepped into the storm. As I did EO the woman laid a firm hand on my arm and putting her face close to mine said: "Dr. Lookwood, can you keep a se­ cret?-" "I think so, madam." ,, "Swear it." * "Is this secret of yours of a profes­ sional character? That is, is it any­ thing you wish jl© confide-jaw*,**,* medical man?" "It is." ' "Very well, tfUn, I swear it" 4 » "That is right." A man respects an oath, though why 'he sllould is a mystery, since men's mouths are running over with them. "Whither are you taking me and for what purpose?" "To the Clifton Hotuie to see the mistress." I started.. Clifton House was the old 'mansion recently taken by Dr. Spencer, a stranger to every one ja Middlebury. Spencer was a tall, dark, rather dis­ tinguished looking person, who had hung out his sign in the village, only a few doors above xnib^ but as yet he got no practice. He( was unsocial in the extreme, avoiding his neighbors persistently, and when he did speak it was in so curt, half-savage a way that no one was likely to prolopg the conversation. The doctor had a wife, it was said, but no one had ever seen her. She was an invalid, and Miss Melrose, a friend of the family, presided over the family and sat at the head of the table. Miss Melrose was yet beautiful, and won the admiration of all who visited Clifton House by her ease of manner and fascinating conversation,. "As we walk along," said «ny com­ panion, "let me explain to you just -what is necessary for you to know. My mistress is very Bick." "I beg your pardon--is it Mrs. Spen­ cer or Miss Melrose?" 7 ; , She laughed bitterly. "Miss Melrose! I would stab her to the heart sooner than own her for a mistress. My mistress is a lady--no­ ble, royal, and of genuine birth. It is an honor to serve my mistress." "And is she ill? How long since?" "Ever since she married him --curse him!" she muttered in a fierce tone; "but I must not get excited. I must tell my story, or rather hers. Two years ago, throagh the desire of lier dying father, Alice Herdon became James Spencer's wife. Before that she was a healthy, blooming girl; immedi­ ately after their marriage she began to fail. Do you see anything strange in that?" "Not necessarily." "Let me enlighten you further. Dr. Spencer swas at one time engaged to Miss Lucille Melrose, but he broke the engagement and married my mistress' instead. Miss Melrose was as poor as Job's turkey. Miss Herdon was an heiress, and Dr. Spencer was deep­ ly in debt, and hard pressed bv his creditors. Do you see anything strange in that?" "Perhaps so. Go on." "When my mistress married Spencer •he was only 17, and had been taught to obey her father in everything, fche was a gentle, affectionate child, and it would have been easy for Spencer to have won her love. But he did not oare for that. It was her money he wanted. It paid his debts and bought him fast horses; it set his table#with nice and costly dishes, and put it in his power to keep Miss Melrose robed like a queen. And all this time my mistress had been slowly, bat surely, sinking, and }ook you. Dr. Lookwood, 1 believe she is not dying of disease, bat of--" i poison given her by band, who, at her death will ha' control ol her property and marry Miss Melrose. There is to explain the details of the and one circumstances which have led me to believe it, for we are almost at the door. It is never the ease that Miss Melrose and Spencer are oat at the same time, or I should have called a physician before, but to-night they are both called away by the death of Miss Melrose's sister and will not be back until to-morrow. With the con- Bent of my mistress I came for you, and oh! Dr. Lockwood, I pray yon to sav6 my dear mistress. I nursed her when her mother died and left her a helpless infant; all throngh her innocent youth she was like an own child to me; and now to see her fading hour by hour be­ fore my eyes! Good heavens! If I knew beyond doubt that he was guilty, his life would pay the forfeit" I was already beginning to feel a deep interest in Sirs. Spencer, although I had never seen he:, and like her own nurse I was beginning to feel a great animosity for Dr. Spencer. Mrs. Spencer received me in her bed­ chamber. It was on the second floor, and Was furnished with exquisite ele­ gance. Everything in the room bespoke the delicacy and taste of the occupant The warm air was fragrant with the faint odor of heliotrope; and glancing around I saw the purple blossoms and green leaves in an alabaster vase on the edge of the south window. She was a woman who, when once seen, could never be forgotten. I have met in my life many a beautiful woman, but never one so lovely. She was tall and straight, with a purely oval face, liquid brown eyes, and a dash of hectic in her cheek,which is never seen in perfect health. She received me, as I know she did every one, gracefully, and though there was a slight embarrassment in her man­ ner when I spoke of her illness, she answered my professional inquiries without hesitation. As for myself, I laid aside all false delicacy and questioned her plainly as to her symptoms. Mrs. Hurd, her nurse, remained in the room, and add­ ed many important little items of in­ formation. When she spoke of her husband, it was with a sort of hopeless sadness which distressed me greatly. Not a breath of suspicion against him in her answers to my quest on?, and I felt sure that at present she knew nothing of what Mrs. Hurd had such serious apprehensions. I was glad it was so, tor with her finely strung or­ ganization, it might have produced se­ rious results. 1 made my examination of my patient as closely as 1 could, and drew my own conclusions. I could have sworn that Mrs. Spencer daily swallowed arsenic in small quantities, and the deadly drug was telling fear­ fully on her constitution. She said, answering my questions, that she had no physician except her husband. He thought himself better acquainted with her case, therefore bet­ ter qualified to treat her. He never left medicine with her to take; he al­ ways brought it fresh from his office and administered it promptly. There was little enough I could do in such a case. Anxious to do every­ thing, the very circumstance of the af­ fair left me nearly powerless. A charge of such nature of course I could not make against Dr. Spencer, without the amplest proof. If I hinted a suspicion, everyone would set it down to mv professional prejudice; and if I could not substantiate my statement, the doctor could make me pay dearly for such n slander uttered against him. The only dependence seemed to be in Mrs. Hurd. To her 1 unbosomed myself freely. I told her -without re­ serve that I thought Dr. Spencer Was killing his wife by slow poison, and I besought her to constantly watch to save the victim, and discover some proof by which we could fasten the guilt upon him. She smiled grimly and promised obe­ dience, and I gave her a powerful anti­ dote for the poison I suspected, and went home perturbed and anxious in mind. I did not sleep that night, and all the next day I was in a high fever of excitement A ring at the bell made me tremble--a step on the gravel out- fide my office stopped my breath, and I hardly knew what I expected to hear. I felt sure before I slept I should hear something. And now I must tell the story as it was told me. Dr. Spencer returned home the morning after my visit to the Clifton House. He looked wretchedly, the nurse said; appeared gloomy and de­ pressed. Miss Melrose came home and looked decorously sad over the death of her sister. Women of her stamp al­ ways do mourn to perfection. They never overdo or underdo the thing, as women of feeling are likely to do. Dr. Spencer came at once to his wife's chamber. He thought Bhe looked ill, and prescribed a cordial at once, saying he would go and fetch it. "You arp always ordering cordials for her," said Mrs. Hurd, musingly. "Why not take something yourself? You look like a ghost!" He eyed her keenly, but replied com­ posedly : "I think I will take some of the cor­ dial myself, for I do not feel quite welL Alice, dear, shall I bring it here and drink your health ?" Mi a Spencer smiled sadly in assent-- she never disputed her husband--and he went cut Presently he returned with two glasses. Both contained liquor colorless and odorless. Mrs. Hurd was watching him with her heart in her throat, for she told me that she felt the decisive moment had come. There was something in the gray pallor of the doctor's rigid face that told her of a desperate purpose in the man's soul. He lifted tho glass to the right of the trav and gave it to his wife. "Drink it dear," he said. "It's a pan­ acea for all evils. I am also going to take a glass of it," and he pointed to the glass still on the tray. Mrs. Spencer accepted it and was putting it to her lips, when Mrs. Hurd interrunted. "If you will bring her a tumbler of water, doctor. Mrs. Spencer.complainsf that the cordial leaves a bad taste in her mouth, and my old bones are full of rheumatism that it nearly kills me to go down stairs." The doctor turned and bent on her a look as though he meant to read her through. But she kept her face passive. If he had any suspicions her manner quieted them, and putting down the glass he left the i;oom. Then Mrs. Hurd changed the position of the glasses. When he'eame back--and he was gone but a moment--the nurse stood exactly where he had left her, and Mrs. Spencer was lying back in her chair with her eyes closed. Again he lifted the glass; this time it pi««a it mv* Ups <*5MJvifc sTvaflowidtfeeortest*{raak a litiU of the water he brought l»r, and thanked him in her sad, sweet way. "Now for my own oorataU* be said, with affected gayety. *1 indulge in something a little strongeras he spoke be tossed off tne mixture. "If made me stone oold to my fingers' ends to see him do it," said Mrs. Hurd, rnlrtlng the circumstances to me, "but en is my witness, I felt no con- I argued like this: If it was rly cordial, it would do no harm, was poison, his blood would be on his own sinful head." He went to bed half sn hour after­ wards, complaining of fatigue. In the morning they found him dead. I was called to the post mortem ex­ amination, and we discovered in the stomach of the deceased a sufficient quantity of the deadly poison known to modern science to kill half-a-dozen men. My brother physicians agreed that the man was insane, and had probably taken the dose in one of his unsettled fits of mind. I did not dispute them, but even before Mrs. Hurd told her story, I had my own theory as to the cause of his death. There was no public exposure, how­ ever. Mrs. Hurd and I agreed that it would profit no one to make the wretched affair public, and so we kept our own counsel. Miss Melrose, in spite of my convic­ tion fhat she had an active part in the conspiracy against Mrs. Spencer's life, I could not help pitying. Such a mis­ erable, worn and haggard face as hers I have never seen, and when they buried Dr. Spencer she was confined to her bed with brain fever. I attended her in her illness, but though she recovered in health, she was never herself again. She was a harmless maniac, whose delight was in gathering flowers and decorating the doctor's grave with them. She is living still, and still gathers flowers and lays them on that grave, singing to herself a low incantation, which no one ever pretends to under­ stand. Not until Mrs. Spencer had many days been my wife, and the faithful Mrs. Hurd slept under the violets, did Alice ever kno v the perfidity of her former husband. And when I told her, after the first shock was over, she crept into my arms and whispered : "But if it had not been for James' crime I should not have found you, Herbert. So good does sometimes come out of evil. " The "John Brown" Parody. The Winchester, Kansas, Argus has the following on the authorship of the "John Brown" parody, sung so lustily by the Federal troops during the re­ bellion. It -comes from George A. Huron, an attorney of Leavenworth, Kansas: While I do not regard the author­ ship as important to the world as even that of "lieautifuljSnow," yet, since you have asked me, I must contradict the statement that they originated with a Leavenworth or any other newsboy. The verse was first sung, by myself, at the time a soldier in brave old Jimmy Shields' division, in the Shenandoah Valley, near New Market, Virginia, in the spring of 1862. We were at the time pushing "Stonewall Jackson" up the valley to Harrisburg, had cheered the weariness of an all-night march through rain and mud by singing "John Brown's Body," until the words seemed as badly worn out as the tired troops. Our brigade had halted at the roadside and were hastily boiling coffee for their jscant break last, while in the column still tramping by a tired soldier here and there wearily continued the re­ frain v >• "While his soul goes marching on," When suddenly an old ditty I had heard when a boy about '"A. sick monkey on a sour apple tree* Came to my mind, and I remarked to my chum: "Let us give John Brown a rest" He said: "How will you do it ?" I replied, singing: "We'll hang Jeff Davis on a sour apple tree," When rapidly as sound could travel the words, were caught up and in a few moments Shields' division was singing them. / Growing Hold Mines. ? The famous comstock lode is still •growing; that is, the cause which pro­ duced the great vein are yet in opera­ tion, though with diminished activity. The lode was probably millions of years in reaching the condition which it had attained when it was first discovered, and in millions more, if left undis­ turbed, all the great chambers that have been robbed of their ore might again be filled. In all the sqfter ground where a drift is run a move­ ment is seen toward the closing of it This movement is called by the miners the "swelling" of the ground. In many places it amounts to more than a mere swelling--amounts to a degree of motion that is almost startling in its energy. Belts of a peculiar kind of clay that has been cut by drifts have been known to rise from the floor until more than thirty feet have been cut away. • The Sign of the Snob. It is an infallible sign of a snob that he can always inform you that he has been taken for somebody who is great­ er than himself. There is a story of three Yankees abroad who compared notes. One said: "I was mistaken for the Emperor of Russia." Quoth the second: "And I am continually asked if I am not Louis Napoleon." Up spoke the third: "I kin beat that Yesterday I was goin' along the Champs Elysees, and a fellow shipped me on the back and hollered:f/Satan, is that you?'" No Damage Done. One of the stingiest men in Austin fell from a street car and broke his leg in two places. "Are you hurt?" asked one of the parties who came to his assistance. "Not a particle," replied the sufferer, grinding his teeth in pain, "I pay my doctor so much a year."--Texas Sift- ings, • Not The Old Soigv "What song will I sing for you te- night V" bhe asked him. "Sing that old Scotch song, 'I canna leave the auld folks yet, we'd better bide a wee."' "Oh, George, that is a very ugly song. It suggests procrastination. Let me sing that beautiful song, 'Jnst nO*r,'"->- Eachangt•. High Aspirations. "Eddie, what are you going to be when you are a man f" asked a Cleve­ land mother of her G-year-old son. "I'm going to be a dude, ma," said Eddie, and he gave a fresh twist to his neck tie. And then his ma sighed,-- Cleveland Plaindealer. A NEW HAMPSHIBB dog carried the soarlet fever kilo five different fami­ lies. Too Much Collar. What a huisance a collar iaf to be sure! If tpe button on your n^ck-band does not dome off m the process Of ad­ justment--and sometimes it does not-- even then the trouble is not over. On the contrary, it is only just begun. If you do not pin down the sides, ten to one your collar will be climbing atop of the neck-band and keeping you in a continual fret all day long; and if you undertake to pin the stiff linen in place, you have got a struggle before you. You push and push, and the more'you push the more persistently does the pin refuse to penetrate. You throw pin No. 1 down with a casual remark, and take up pin No. '2. No. 2 deceives you into believing that it is an honest pin. The point enters the linen with a charming docility, but, when you would drive it home, it doubles up into a fish-hook, and, with more casual remarks, you fling it after No. 1. You catch with desperation a third pin, and, giving it a savage push, drive it half-way up to the head into your thumb or finger. _ „T.., , Not to mention the pain that throbs . j 'ITT, e7®f ^through your lacerated digit, the fact And if the answer is that your collar is besmeared with blood, and that it must come off and you must begin operations de novo, is enough to complete your transition from a mild and gentle good citizen into a heartless villain. Yes, the collar is a nuisance, with everything pertaining to it.--Boston Transcript It anything, wai ' to prove that Americans are wvmfM pentever- ing people outside of- romknoe, a turn through the churn department in the latent Office would settle the matter beyond all chance for dispute. There has never been any demand for a patent churn; nobody wants one, and no woman who cares to make butter that will haunt the memory like a lingering dream of joy would permit one to come within a thousand yards of the milk-house, and yet, in direct opposition to all the laws of nature, including female prejudice, thousands upon thousands of men have enslaved their brains for years in the service of the great Moloch of modern times--the patent churn. "Whenever a man grows sweaty in the brain-pan, and imagines he can feel the seethings of genius within him, it is a sure sign that des­ tiny has ordained that he must beggar his family to procure a patent on a churn. At times the mania to invent something that cannot by any earthly possibility be of service to mankind becomes epidemic, and no man is safe from the dread contagion which almost invariably finds expression in churns. A man may be ordinarily gane on every­ thing else, and still be only a few re­ moves from absolute idiocy on the subject of churns, lending a boy to college and stuffing him full of expen­ sive education is no guarantee thai he will not some day debase^feie brain and waste the best years of his lifaifftry­ ing to get up a patent cliYirn a little more absurd than any of its pre­ decessors. Those misguided people who fooled away their lives in seeking the philosopher's stone were not the only examples of wasted effort with which all history teems, as the acres of churn models in Washington will show. The gospel is preached all over our broad land, and idolatry is discountenanced everywhere, outside of politics and good society, and yet in spite of all this, men will bow down to the churn of their own construction and avow that its like is not found in the earth beneath nor the heavens above, and they will worship it and put the best part of their lives into it, and then go raving crazy with despair when they try to sell it and find out what an old fraud it is. Things have got to such a pass that the day is coming over the hill when the voter will not ask con­ cerning the candidate for whom his vote is solicited: "Is he honest? Is he able ? Is he strong_ enough to with­ stand corruption ? invent a churn ?" yes, you can bet that he won't get a vote, unless he buys it. The fact that a man has tried to bulldoze fate by throwing away time on a churn instead of bunching his energies on the roller- skate or something that people want, will be taken as evidence that his skull is not the right shape, and he will be treated accordingly. The churn seems to be about the only thing to which the Darwinian theory will not apply. The missing link may som4 day turn up to connect the chain of progress, but utf- til then all attempts at improvement can be nothing more than wasted effort. The churn in general use, and the one that sends forth butter to gladden like the spirit of love, is the one that came over in the Mayflower. It has no cranks or springs; no wheels or pin­ ions ; no cogs or levers. All there is of it is the dasher and the concern that holds the milk, and that is enough/ Main strength can do the rest, and goodness knows female labor is cheap enough, unless you have to hire it, which is seldoln the case on a farm. Heroism is not scarce in this country, and plenty of women can still be found with courage sufficient to marry into servitude. Churning is a simple ope­ ration that requires a good deal of mus­ cle, superhuman patience, and some little skill--not much. A very little will do if you are strong in the arms and not easily discouraged. About all you have tBCdo is to grab hold of the dasher and jg&jind the cream with un­ relenting yigbrx. The rest can be left to nature. Suxit'esA is certain, even though it may l>e a trifle slow at times. Nothing worth having can be had with­ out hard labor, and good butter is cer­ tainly worth having, unless you have been raised in a boarding house and don't know what it is. Therefore it is npt&n exception to the rule, and the longer it takes to churn the better the butter ought to be. But butter is sometimes like hope. It promises everything and turns out a sham at last. But this is not your fault Charge it to the but ter. It is strong enough to bear it, or if not, give it time and it will be.--'Chi­ cago Ledger. Frands ln Cigars. "Now, there's a cigar," said a tobacco merchant whose firm handled more than a million dollars' worth of cigars a^year, "that has made a great reputa­ tion within the past year, and which is eagerly smoked by all good judges of cigars, and yet there is so much cheat­ ing done in this particular brand that fully two-thirds of the smokers are swindled. I am not surprised, either, that they do not find it out, as the cheating is very adroitly done. The prioe of the cigar to dealers is 22 ̂ cents, and yet you can buy the cigar, or what they pretend is the cigar, all over town for 25 cents. We will not retail them for less than 28 cents, be- causkthat gives us little enough profit." "Araall that are sold for 25 cents bogus ?r "They are not the true imported brand, as a rule. Of course, there are occasional big hptSIsTlHid restaurants that are contepft to handle them at a margin of two and a half cents. The fraud is effected in this way: Clerks or boys in the hotels or restaurants where the genuine brand is sold keep the boxes when they become empty and supply them at a fair cost--say 50 cents apiece--to the small dealers. A domestic cigar is manufactured of the exact shape and color of the imported brand, and the box is filled with these domestic cigars. The box is genuine, and the cigars very much like the real thing. The dealer, by this little game, clears about thirteen cents on a cigar-- a pretty tidy profit, and well worth the ruse even if it is a state prison of­ fense." "How can one detect ths spurious one?" . "Only an expert can tell the differ­ ence in the make of the cigar at a glance, but if yom look carefully at the date on the box it might give you a clew. For instance, I saw some cigars that were not over a week old the other day that were in a box labeled Oct. 12. The manufacturers on the other side are endeavoring to throw difficulties in Hon. JohaKtUy, the head aad front at Tammany Hall, a Btaojtf jtetet Intkrltr. an tttOstattffable work^J& t̂t hisl&e, lata to leave, so burfeoe#wttt btsinesi #at i«f alar SSMOS were-aekUkn Me«n) br^iia. With mind in constant tension and energies stead ily trained, finally broke down! The wonder is that he did net sooner give way. An honest man in all tilings else, he aeted unfairly with his physical resources. He was ever drawing upon this bank without ever depositing a collateral. Tho aceount overdrawn, the bank suspends and both are now In the hands of medical receivers. It Is not work that kills neu. It is irregu­ larity of habits and mental worry. No maa in good health frets at his work. Dye and bye when the bank or vigor suspends, these men will wonder how it all happened, and they will keep wondering until their dying day unless, perchance, some candid physician or interested friend will point out to them how by Irregularity, by excessive mental effort, bf cOostarit worry and fret, by plung­ ing in deeper than they had a right to go, they have produced that loss of nervous en­ ergy which almost, invariably expresses it­ self in a drranged condition of the kidneys and liver, for it is a well-known fact that the poison which the kidneys and liver should remove from the blood, if lett therein, soon knocks the lifo out of the strongest and most vigorous man or woman. Daily build­ ing up of these vital organs by so wonderful $pd highly reputed, a specific as Warner's spe cure, is the only- guarantee that ©u* misihess men can have that their strength will' be equal to the labors daily put upon thehi. Mr. Kelly has nervous dyspepsia, we leurn, indicating, as we have said, a break-down of nerve force. His cas» should be a warning to others who, pursuing a like course, will) certainly reach a like result.--Sunday Her/ aid. mmvtm im» wmtk . exeept to put sraiefldartoeetfnt»lt,ls*Ki excellent motto ter t*e roMlp and tfa« suf- teer Atom catarrh. But whUe the «*ip Is jtfactleaUy Incurable, there Is ntTecSuTfor •tor one's suffering longer from cjS&rrli. Dr. Base a Oatarrh Remedy 1a an unfailing cure tar that offensive disease. It heals the diseased membrane, and removes the dull and depressed sensations which always at­ tend! catarrh. A short trial of this valuable preparation will make the sufferer feel like a new being. IF a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, is a mole on the face worth two in the ground? DON'T take that " cocktail in the morn­ ing." If you have a "swelled head," nau­ seated stomach, and unstrung nerves result­ ing from the "convivial party last night," the sure and tafe way to clear the cobwebs from the brain, recover zest for food, and tone up the nervous system, is to use Dr. Pierce's "Pleasant Purgative Pellets." Sold by all druggists. THE striped stick candy must go. There la enough poison in one hundred and sixty-five pounds of it to kill a boy. Just think of it. ••Pat up" at the Gault House. . The business man or tourist will find first- class accommodations at the low price of $2 and f~.50 per day at the Gault House, Chica­ go. corner Clinton and Madiaon streets. This far-famed hotel is located in the center of the city, only one block from the Union Depot. Elevator; all appointments flrst-claas. HOYT & GATES. Proprietors. •'4 - Be Kept tlteWliolclIouge Awake Washington, D. C.--Mr. F. O. Mc- Cleatfy, a prominent solicitor of patents of (his city, was troubled for Keveinl weeks with a "severe cough, which not only de­ prived him of sleep hut annoyed others. The only thing which did him any good, ho says, was the new preparation Red Star Cough Cure, a purely vegetable compound, free from opiates, narcotics, or poisons of any kind. New York Detectives. The detectives of New York are a perpetual soufce of mystery to men who are unacquainted with their ways. They receive a salary of about $1,600 and spend $6,000. They dress well, wear diamond rings, and live on the fat of the land. In the first place, every detective of any consequence in New York has a big mustache. Thut is in itself a mystery. The average man of reasonably tender years spends at least four-fifths of his time in cultivating his mustache. He seldom or never reaches the standard which the detec­ tives of New York BO successfully and admirably occupy. It has got so now that any man with a reasonably big mustache is set down as a detective at once by the average New Yorker. One of these officers is detailed by In­ spector Byrue at every theater in New York, there is another at all the big hotels, while still more appear to have roving commissions up and down Broad­ way.--Brooklyn Eagle. If Your Liver Kamlnda You Of Its existence by dull pain or sharp twinges in the right side, or beneath the dexter shoulder- blade, accept the reminder as a warning, and regulate the organ without loss of time, by the use of Hoetetter'a Stomach Bitters. The above symptoms are usually accompanied by yellow­ ness of the skin, constipation, furred tongue, disorder of the stomach, sich headache and morning nausea. But a reform is promptly in­ stituted by the Bitters, the b?st possible substi­ tute for calomel, blue pill, and othei super-po­ tent and hurtful drugs erroneously designated as remedies for biliousness. Appetite and di­ gestion are restored, ami the bowels iesume ac­ tivity. when au impetus is Kiven to the functions of health l>y this sterling anti-bilious medicine, which also has the effect of enriching and puri­ fying the circulation, and fortifying the system against malaricl intectlon in air or water. It is also highly beneficial for rheumatism, kidney and bladder troubles. " Rival Schools* Dr. Scudbery, of the United States navy, has had a dreadful quarrel with his beautiful and accomplished youn^ wife at San Francisco, because in his absence abroad she studied medicine, became a homaopathist, and under­ took to cure the community of its ills and her own husband's bad temper by sugar-coated pills. On his return from a cruise the Doctor found his graduated wife in a bomuopathic dispensary attending a patient. The Doctor said: "So the pellet-peddling ignoramuses have roped you in, have they ?" She replied: "Don't be rude, my dear," and pro­ ceeded to administer her little white panaceas. "You're a quack!" roared the husband. "You're a butcher!" screamed his wife. And the little pellets divided them forever.--Philadelphia Times. THE only reliable cure for eatarrh is Dr. Sape's Catarrh Kemedy. IF there bad been another women and a lawyer In the garden of Eden, Eve would have probably got a divorce and married the devil. Important. When you visit or leave New Tork Oty, save Baggage Expressage and Carriage Hire, and stop at the Grand Union Hotel, opposite Grand Central Depot: M>0 elegant rooms fitted up at a cost of one million dollars, reduced to $1 ami upwards per day. European plan. Elevator, Restaurant supplied with the beat. Horse cabs, stags, and elevated railroad to all depots. Fami­ lies can live better for less money at the Grand Union than at any first-claas hotel in the city. •'WHAT have you to remark about my sing- inft" asked an irate vocalist. " Nothing," replied a spectator; " it Is not remarkable." W BOB DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, depression ot the way of these fraudulent dealers bv I spirits, and general debility in their various . . . " ,• i >1 • 1, ^ I fnrms* nlsn im it fltivA firaini#. fnrAi* avt4 putting a peculiar glaze on their boxes. But the cigar thieves soon get a hpid of the boxes, so what are they going to do about it?"--New Tork Sun. "MAN wants but little ear below," remarked tits pugilist, after biting off his opponent's organ of hearing. forms; also, as a preventive against fever and ague, and other intermittent fevers, the " Ferro-Phosphorated Elixir of Caiisaya," made by Caswell. Hazard & Co., of New York, and sold by all druggists, is the best tonie; and for patients recovering from fever or other sickness it has no equal. The .Akron Sewer Pipe Is the best la the world. See advertisement in this paper. I Rheumatism,̂ "uraftgia, Sciatica. Lumbago, Backache, Headache, Toothache, Bore Thmat flwrlHwrs 11>rni»s ltralmi. Burns, Hcaldi, Frost Bites, . ALL OTHER BODILT PAIRS AKD iCITES, •old by Drogflata and «v*rywh*r*. Fifty Otntstbottfc Direction* la 11 Lang-naff**. THE CHAKI.F.S A. VOFIELER CO. |<*A. voaiLEaaco.) hiilwn,U,B,U, BITTERS, If yon wbh a certain cure for all Blood diseases. Nothing was ever invented that will cleanse the Blood, and purify the System equal to Hops and MAI.T Bitters. It «oaea up the System, puts new Blood In your veins, restores your lost appetite and aleep, and brings you perfect^ health, n never fails to give relief in all cases of Kidney or Liver Troubles, Blllouameea, Indl- orestlon, Constipation, Sick Headaches, ®y*» pepsla, Hervous disorders, and til Female Complaint* | when properly taken it is a sure cure. Thousands have been benefited by it In this and other Western States. It is the best Combination of Vegetable remedies a3 yet discovered for the restoration to health of the Weak and Debilitated. Do not get BIops and HALT Bitter* confounded with Infe­ rior preparations of similar name. I prescribe Hops & Malt Bitters regularly in my practice. Sobert Turner, M. D., Flat Rock, Mich. Tor sale by all druggists. HALT BITTERS CO, DETIOT, IOL CATAR HAY-FEVER. My brother Myron and myself were both cured, to all appearance, of Catatrh and Hay-Fever last July and August. Up to this date. Dee. 88, neither have had any return of these troubles. Ely's Cream Balm was the medicine used.-- GABRIEL FERRIS, Spencer, Tioga Co., N. Y. CREAM BALM hat) trained an enviable rep­ utation wherever known, displacing all other prep­ arations. A particle is ap­ plied into nu ll noHtril; no pain ; agreeable to use. Price 50c. liy mail or at flrii'r-iift. Rend for circular. l.LY ltlK >'1 HKiiS, Prntrglstti. Owego. N. Y. The Best in the World is the Send to the undersigned for it, as also for Drain Tile, Cement, Fire (lay. Ground Brick, Chimney Tops, Chimney Flue I.ininsrs, Plaster. Fire Sand, <*t\ HAY-FEVER N. A. WILLIAMS, 219 Washington Street ( hlcuico, 111. Fire Brick TELEGRAPHY I furnished. Write Valentine Bi I.earn here and enr.i dpay. Situations Bros., JanesviUi'. Wis. Morphine Habit Cured In lO to 40 days. No pay till cured. Da. J. STKPHINB, Lebanon, Ohio. The most Iwautitul and finest toned in the world. Low priz es, eaxtj paw tiieta. Keud for catalogue. Address Weaver Organ k Piano Co„ York. Pa. riU^XAn. llleN-ed with splendid crop#. Will send X State map, winch gives information of climate, health, lanilK, xtock, &<•.. on receipt postal card with ni'uie and i>ostot!ic«'. E.s. (lit AH AM. Graham, Texas. "THE FA IR EST c«i NTK"?"?>N EARTH." Sen i « ii-cent stamps to G. C. MilNNEY ft CO., BKOKEKS, SEATTLE, W.T., and you will re­ ceive VALl.'AItLK IN IOKK AT ION of the Great Northwest and Washington Territory. Amputation of the Leg. Money is the universal necessity, sod none but s cynic or a fool will affect to despise it. Mr. Abram Ellsworth, of Port Ewen, Ulster County, N. Y., had realized this truth. His disease involved the whole of his thigh-bone, aad the suffering man looked for ward, not without apparent reason, to death as his only deliverer. The family physicians refused to amputate the limb, asserting that the operation would kill the patient on the spot. Dr. David KENNEDY, of Iiondout, N. Y., who was consulted, held a different opinion aad amputated the limb. The Doctor then administered freely his great Blood Specific, FAVOR­ ITE REMEDY, to afford tone and strength to the sys­ tem and prevent the return of the d sease.and Mr. Ellsworth remains to this day in the bloom of health. Thin gentleman's disease was the offspring of foul blood, and Kennedy's FAVORITE REMEDY purified the blood and restored to him the power once more to enjoy his life. Are you suffering from any disease traceable to the same cause? Try Favorite Kemedy. Your druggist has it. ONE DOLLAR a bottle. Bear in mind the proprietor's name and address; Dr- Darut KENNEDY, Rondout, N. Y. To Keep the H'o Pure is the principal end of inventions and discoveries in medicine. To this object probably no one has contributed more sig­ nally than Dr. David Kennedy, of Iiondout, N. Y., in the production of a medicine which has become famous under the title of the "Favorite Remedy." It removes all imovritie* of the Blood, regulates the disordered Liver and Kidneys, cares Constipation. Dyspepsia, and all diseases and weaknesses peculiar to females- - t Man and Mostang Liniment is older than most men, and used more aad more every yean Price, SB eta.. SO cts. and Sl.OO per Bottle. SOLD BY All. UBUOGISTS. PATENTS HaM-Bo* ras. • fl I Ml I K. s. * A, p. uicn, Patent Atfya, Washington. D. C. FREE BSriSJLty&Z Write tor free pamphlet. Address THE SEKD DL REGULATOR OO . LRMONT. CENTM* CO.. PA. BY MAIL--New book, with home references and questions to answer our improved Oxygen Treatment r Catarrh. Hay Fever, Deafness, Jront, Lnfig and *11 Chronic Diseases. Trial free st office Pr. Jl'DGE. 7*»V Beach St.. Boston, Msas. migns Ol > rKlU'NKlTw !-- AV«»11> Send us mail a box of the g _ _ . .. Liver Pills and eight handsome cards. Qver fifty s^iU- Send us 2S cents and we will send you by return " e genuine Dr. is. MoLane's Celebrated ion boxes have been used by the people of the What better certificate could they have? FLKMDJC. BROS.. Pittsburgh. Pa. LADY ABUTS ŜSISSSSSSIH Suspender Co.. Cincinnati. O. R. U. AWARE THAI Lodllard'8 OBmax Plug bearing a red tin tag ; that barilla*** RoaeLeaffineoutt thatLoMUwtlf Navy Clippings, and that LorlUard's Snnflb. ars the Itnst anS cheapest, quality oonaMnnxT* We Want e.OOO Mora BooK Agents to Ml The Personal History of % 8. BRAHT. MET* MA NUFTITU KLTTMJ OR timm* Tb* feo«k _ priralt career, aad tbe meat mmi iant A larf* haadMne toUra votMaau MfatWty Boston* Chicago, Cincinnati, or 8c* Loais. ASTHMA. German Asthma Cure never/a#/* to giTe fw- mediatt relief in the #pntt cases, &«r«SeMifsri; able sleep: effects cttres where »1 mbmfal. A trial fotiviiit'ex the most skeptical. Price SOc.aud lil.OO. of Druggists or by mail. Sjurgrie FKKK lor st imp. Dk" R. SCIIIFFMAN. St. jUXLE GREASE. Best la tbe WsrM, G< ery paehue Ms oar murtnl Fraxer'n. SOI week. ease: tio. 33-M5 WHKN WRITING TO ABVERTISCK8. .»». please ear jrou w« the advertisement in tmiN paper. Cff*1-"., f & t ' Vs,t , i • >< r- Agents Wanted w« Life aad Deeds of G-EN'L (1RANT %COLOXXL XJl r. A* MVtUL It contains a full history of hie noble and eventful life. Introduction written by Gram's Pastor, Rev. Dr. Newman. Col.Burr's work is indorsed by Grant's matt intimate friends. Send for extra terms to agents. Ad­ dress National Publishing Co.. CHICAOO. 111. NEW ENGLAND CONSERVATORY OF MUSIC I Boston, Mass., OLDEST in America: Largest and Beat Equipped in the WORU>--100Instruct­ ors, 1971 Students last year. Thorough Instruction in Vocal and Instruments! Music,Piano and Organ Tun­ ing. Fine Arts, Oratory, Literature, French. German, and Italian languages, English Brandies, Gymnastics, etc. Tuition,$9to|20;boarJandroom.MStoJT3per term. Fall term begin* September ft, IMS. For Illustrated Calendar, givin* full information, address ETOl'RJEE, Dir. Franklin gq., BOSTON. Mass. Black Hawk IHHMI Threshars Com SMItrs and Rori mhrt. Made especlstljr for North Westefh Trade. Send for prices, circular*, ftc. H. PITTS' SOXC 1(K, t'O., Marseilles. La Halle Os., m, nearly gone, the strength increased, and made good. I am consl standing. ca<ies that ha' times, and the pgtfflnt d< Send for M dan' tr free. GivefullUstoi afflicted, how badly swollen and when, is costive, have legs hursted and dripped water. Send for free psmphlet.containing testimonials,questieaa. etc. - H. H-IS&M . SB Jones Avenue, Atlanta. Qa. 'Mention this naner. CAN'S W •iM, M- tfr-- :•# % <r5 ,**' 1*4 sSSr DROPS! TREATED FREE. ' i DR. H. H. GREEN, A Specialist for JElevea Tears Past, Has treated Dropsy and its complications with ttt most wonderful success; uses vegetable remodies,SD- tirely harmless. Removes all symptoms of dropey in eitriit to twenty days. Cures patients pronounced hopeless by the bsst of physicians. From tbe first dose the symptoms rspidly disap- pear, and in ten days at least two-thirds of all symp­ tom* arc removed. Home may cry Uumbug without knowing aaythiug about it. Iteinember, it does not oost you anything pulse regular, the urinary organs made to discharge their full duty, sleep is restored, the swellinK all or itrength * * ' ' " ' ! • vifesa--: • ... '.. , Si?,; ra#.- HH Magnolia Balm is a secret aid to beauty.^ Many a lady owes her freshp" ness to it, who would rather not tell, and can't telL | • ".i*K &' ... 'tilt*

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