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•• "" ' L VAN SLYKK, tSRsr w* P«bli»he;. McHENRYj ILLINOia sues $ • 5 f> ife ' *" : Pt/I . I ? , f . t,. ^ . ? - 0o YOC RKMKMBKK» » jf- <* BY CARLOTTA PEBRT. ->•?•" i Mi nl','5'* ' .. , ' , . wo yon Mmember that day, mv dear, (Oh11 tih&ll remember until I die), 4 'i That wonderful dky of a vanquished yeai; When under the green of a leafy sir, , Witt* Nature singing her sweetest tun A, We Mt through the long, glad afternoon? Oh! fair waa the world on that perfect diy, With wng and color and shade and shine; With growing grain and with meadows gay, With odors subtle and fresh and fine; With the sort low music of mated liiras, With the calm content of the grating herds. *1 -w "Hearer & word did we say of love, , As we sat in the happy shadows there; But wo heard its voice in the boughs above, We felt its breath in the pulsing air; In the silence sweeter far than speech, Our heart-beats answered each to eaai. ! , Still is your hand like the lily leaf, With the sea shell's tint at the finger tips; Your hair has the gold of the gathered Sheaf, Still like a rose are your dewy lips; . ,t And I know in my soul that to-day you an Sweeter and dearer than then by far, s •, , . • t Tet I remember, myvlove, so well, A subtile something about you then Beyond the power of my words to toll. That never lias seemed to come back again,. And I would give more than I dare say f Far the look your dear face wore that%S9f ' " 1 -i Was it, my dear, a flush of the cheek# ' - A quiver of lash or a droop of lid? • ' A tremble of lips that dared not speak The truth that deep In the heart was hid? Nay, the look that over the features stole Was the strange, sweet sign oi a waking soul. May oomes never but Onoe a year; , u ; Txiis is the summer, and well we know,: "•' Fulfilment is better than promise, dear; i Better it is that the oak should grow, ' ' ; Though the acorn die; the rosebud's doom v. We quite forget in the rose's bloom. [ ?p5' ' Richly the sun of your summer beams, • , Though May comes not to your life again; ASM}, darling, the something that haunts my ;«#!' dreams I know with a joy that is half a pain, w • "it;,;That wonderful waking May-time grafce, J * ger jovp has found in our daughter's facet --Current. ' . ; 'E*-5 REV. ELDERBERRY'S VACATION. . " i - * The Rev. Jonas Elderberry had I preached in Flintville twenty years, . and bad never had a vacation. Sick­ ness and death had caused him to miss a few Sundays now and then, and after i ,, mnch deliberation, not entirely free •;% from acrimony, the church had de­ cided on each of these occasions not to ^ deduct anything from his salary, a con- cession which waa thought very gener- ,s* ^ oas, as he received $700 a year, and the parsonage rent free. Still these brief ,i respites from labor were not vacations. Though a quiet man, Mr. Elderberry was not 'without ambitions and dreams. He sometimes wrote short articles and { poetry, which appeared in magazines y newspapers under the veil of "J. , E.,* and were pronounced by the edi- Y V ? *OTS "^ftSi^ative." So it was not • • strange that he often fancied himself and his little wife, Matilda, going on a Y vacation, and looking upon the ; mountains and the seas. But these ' ' dreams were like others he had of owing a reliable gold watch instead of the ridiculous silver turnip that ticked away like a town-clock in his - pocket, or of owning a home of which YJ S- he could speak proudly as "my house." In his sober momenta--and most of his life was very sober indeed--he never . , . expected to have any of these dreams^ Y< realized. iYYfY The children that had come to the v. parsonage had all died in infancy, and '}n perhaps that was the reason that there \ Y was almost always some one Btoppiug **•**" there. All the cousins came, even to gY Y the fourth and fifth degrees, and </ • some reduced to their lowest terms, so v i &4.S *° speak; and this abundant hospitality - f • cost something, in spite of the fact that Mrs. Elderberry was the maid of all work; and so, notwithstanding the seven hundred a year, and an occa­ sional $5 from some editor, Mr. Elder­ berry's only bank stock was a few hun­ dred in what was called expressively, 41 back salary." _ Flintville, though an old place, was little more than one long street, lined with white houses, well hidden from the road by honey-locusts and poplars. The Orthodox Meeting-house had re- received sundry coats of paint; but, in other respects, was just as it was the first time Mr. Elderberry entered it. The people were conservative, and the orthodox were the most conserva­ tive in the place; so they quietly ignored the smart little pine box, called "The Church," which had sprung up on one side of them, and the squat brick ! building around the corner, called the Hallelujah Chapel, and resisted inno­ vations. The Rev. Jnlius Surplice, rector of "The Church," took a vacation in July; bnt as he was an unmarried man, it was supposed he spent the time with his parents. As for the chapel, its min­ ister came and went too often to need it vacation; while in FlintviUe, as Mr. Elderberry read his sermons, it was known that he wrote them; but any male member of his flock, if asked hiB opinion of such laboV, would have said: "It must be easy enough to sit in the house, and write things out of your head if you have been to college." As for the women, while they considered sermon-writing too deep for the female mind, they yet considered it something of the nature of women's work, not a definite business, but an ooenpation to be taken up at odd moments, as knit­ ting or patchwork. wben *otfeing more Was going on. "Nature cannot endure everlasting drooping," and Mr. Elderberry had twiee asked for a vacation, without suc­ cess, when Mr. Whitaker, of Chicago, after doing something sharp in corn, sent his wife to Fintviile to visit her father, Deacon Billings. "I never heard of a minister's preaching through August!" she exclaimed, lifting her oe- jeweled hands. And the next Sunday •l°ng desired vacation was granted, although 'Squire Pogg opposed it, say- ingt if he hired a man to hoe corn he did not expect him to skip every other row. •%/^?£ere slial1 we 8°« Matilda?" said Elderberry, the next morning. ; '"We!" exclaimed Mrs. Elderberry tremulously. "It's your vacation, Jonas. I--I don't see how I can leave. There's the hens, and the house, and the missionary bed-quilt; and Cousin Alzina liable to come any flay. "My dear," said Mr. Elderberry, with full eves, "if I go anywhere, you shall ^ocompany me." "Thursday evening came; but Mr. Elderberry had not succeeded in ob­ taining a cent from the ' back salary." He had been asked exactly fifty-two times where he was going, and when he would start; and there was in his pocket-book fifteen dollars and seventy five cents. "Tilda," he said, coaxingly, "let's go-and see Sister Martha." Though Mrs. Martha Tucker had been like a daughter in Mr. Elden- berry's father's house, she was the child of his mother's sister. She had been married five years when he wedded ' I f * V. * * ' •• .8 -m V *"v them at the parsonage. When she had invited them to come and see her, Mr. Elderberry had always intended to do so; but the Tucker farm was forty miles away across the hills, the stage fare was an item to be considered, and his wife always received his remarks on the subject in silence. Without much thought about the matter, he had con­ cluded that Matilda was prejudiced •gainst his adopted sister, and was Secretly vexed; for Martha was the only one of his many relatives who had Hot demanded some favor of him. "1 don't want to go a-cousining," •aid Mrs. Elderberry, with unconscious Sarcasm. "You've never had a chance," said •Mr. Elderberry, dryly. "But we've got to leave town before Sunday. We will only stay a few days, and I think Mar~ |ha will be glad to see us." . Mr. Tucker's desire to accumulate money, with his wife's desire to be known as a perfect housekeeper, had hever been checked by childish fingers, and Mrs. Tucker's naturally unsym­ pathetic temper had hardened into something very frostv indeed. To un­ pin her nice beds, and have her chairs thrust into new places, above all to have extra cooking going on. and her orderly plans frustrated, irritated her. If she had known her cousins were coming, she would have schooled her­ self a little; but, as it was, she saw them descend from the stage with ill- Concealed dismay, and greeted them with the exclamation: "I never did!" "I wish I had brought my sermon on the fulfilling of the law," said Mr. El­ derberry that night to his wife. "Martha Bays that Zeland Vodecker preaches at East Gypsnm. I remember lim, and I think he keeps up his Hebrew." But the next morning Mr. Tucker hitched up his colt, and with his wife started for the postoffice three miles away. It was noon when they returned, so the absence of the sermon on the law was of no consequence. In the meantime, the maid of all work had gone out to visit the wife of the hired man, and, in her hurry, had left the kitchen door open. The hens took ad­ vantage of the opportunity, and hopped in quietly, till the place was full of them. By some curious instinct. Mrs. Tucker divined their presence the mo­ ment she entered the house. "There's folks who wouldn't hear a whole men­ agerie in the next room!" she exclaimed, scornfully, after a vigorous use of the broom. "It's precious few times I've ever been away from home; bnt when I have I've worked myself to skin and bones!" "At bottom Mrs. Elderberry was a verj determined woman, and when she said that evening, "Jonas, I shall take the stage to-morrow for Flintville," her husband knew better than to oppose her. Two days after ward, when he had resolved to follow her, he received the following note from her : "You must contrive, dear Jonas, to remain away from home the four Sun­ days. In the Orthodox organ for this week it says: 'Mr. Jonas Elderberry, the pastor of that bulwark of the faith, the Flintville Church, is spending his vacation trout-fishing. All our pastors cannot, we know, enjoy this diversion; but let each one draw near to nature's heart instead of hunting up some pul­ pit to supply while his church has gen­ erously given him time to rest.' "In the Flintville Clarion is the fol­ lowing: 'We have understood from parties qualified, it would seem, to give information on the subject, that our highly-esteemed townsman, Mr. Elder­ berry, unless some unusual circum­ stance should expedite his return, will spend his vacation in the exercise of the piscatorial art.'" After spending the night in painful consideration, Mr. Elderberry de­ termined to go to East Gyp­ sum, and find a cheap boarding- place, where, free from the distractions that beset the parsonage, he might write out some verses that were ringing in his head, and thus pay expenses. He had weeded onions all day Monday, and stemmed currants all day Tuesday, and felt that in a sense he had paid his board. But he was conscious that Mr. Tucker, and possibly Martha, felt that he wa,s, as they phrased it, "living on them," aud to remain longer was impossible. "I s'pose you'll have a vacation every year, now your church has got started," said Mr. Tucker, when. Mr. Elderberry announced his intended departure. You can board cheap, or work for your board, if you want to. I'd take ye. I sh'd think 'twould do ye good to git up an' stir 'round after takin' it easy a year." ^ Arrived at East Gypsum, Mr. Elder­ berry, was directed to the house of Mrs. Mullein, who, it was said, desired one more boarder. He was met at the door by an elderly woman, who proved to be Mrs. Mullein, Senior. Board? Yes. Professional man? Yes," said the old lady, in a high stac­ cato voice, as she led the way up stairs. "We may suit, and we may not. Julia, my son's wife, gives lessons. P'r'aps you'll find out one of these days what sons' wives are. When she ain't bang­ ing the piano, or the children ain't, the scholars are. The. piano's just, under this room." Y '\ i ' She opened, tfc« do** # * torrid chamber. . "There's two sets o' twins, and one odd, and they rampage all over, the house. That's Julia's idea of govern­ ment The young man in the room back of this is learning the horn, an' when he's home--an' he always is even­ ings--he practices, or reads out loud for his elocution. Probably you want oool room? Hem! Weil! This room'd bake an egg after dinner; fronts west, and there's a tin roof. Another one of Julia's ideas. Our price is $8. I think she wants to rent this room; but you'd better come in later and see her." Mr. Elderberry did not return to Mrs. Mullein's, and, after long wander­ ing, found a little room in a house owned by two quiet spinsters. But the lot was narrow, and one side was a melodean, on the other were four g^rls and a dulcimer. In vain did Mr. Elder­ berry attempt literary composition. The melodean wheezed, while the dulcimer kept up a monotonous, "Pink a-punk-a-punk! Pink-a-punk! A pink- a-punk! A pink!" ^ hen a week had passed, having only a dollar and four cents left, Mr. Elderberry set out for home on loot. He had on his old clothes, but the min­ isterial cat was unmistakable, and the old farmer who overtook him, asked, drvly: "Hev a lift, Elder ? I'm goin' your way." "Hev the dumbdest kind o' work a- gittin' help!" he grumbled, when Mr. Elderberry had accep ed his offer. "An' I've work fur two men in the hop- yard, an' there's a sight o' cowcumbers spilin' to be picked 'fore they're too big for the pickle fact'ry." "I wish you'd hire me to pick cucum bers," said Mr. Elderberry. The old man laughed, incredulously; and then M. Elderberry told him bis Fhol* etofr. fito, flpn laughed ag&MTM engaged Mia on the spot for a dollfr a day. When Mr. Elderberry returned to Flintville his etifteka were brown aud his step was brisk, and he received many congratulations on the good his fishing excursion had done him; but Squire Pog£ spent Thanksgiving with friends near Gvpsum, and the next week a committee waited on the pas-' tor. "We consider yotiVe hrttng disgrace on us an* the cause," said the Squire, severely, when lie had detailed what he had heard. "The bes' thing you kin do is to resign." When Mr. Elderberry had told the story of his vacation, und had explained that the money he had earned in the cucumber field had part of it gone to swell the ohurch missionary accounts, the committee were mollified; but there was still a rankling feeling that he had disgraced the church. The winter passed, and spring was blossom­ ing into summer, when Flintville was electrified by the hews that Mr. Elder­ berry had a call to Gypsum Center, and was offered eighteen hundred dol­ lars and a parsonage. "It's all come of that old Scran he worked for on "the Mile Strip, last summer," said Squire Pogg to Deacon Harp. "Scran*8 son 's deacon in the Gypsum Church. I seen the old feller last week, an' sez he, I never had a man on the place that put in the licks Elderberry did, sez he; an' when you want to d rive your preacher, Mr. Chubb, out o' town, 6ez he, send him up to me." "M-yeh-ah !" ejaculated Deacon Harp, with an expressive shake of the head. "If he can't go to his father's, or his father-in-law's, or--some'eres respect­ able, Mr. Chubb won't git no vacation. --Independent. • < Collegiates Graduates in Liter«tafo» - It may be questioned whether a col­ lege education is so closely connected with literature now as it was formerly. For instance, any one may consult tri­ ennial catalogues, und he will find the italics, indicating the clerical alumni, fewer and fewer in proportion to the names in Roman; he may consult lists of clergymen, and find there is no ap­ parent diminution of bachelors of arts. Unfortunately, there is no such con­ venient list of authors, and there is, in­ deed, no hard ana fast line by which an anthor may be classified. One statist will call the writer of a treatise upon the calculus an author, aud with per­ fect propriety; another, in his classifi­ cation, will exclude all who have writ­ ten only technicabbooks. Mr. Adams, in his convenient "Hand-book of Amer­ ican Authors," has carefully given the birthplace of each author, but evident­ ly would have been dismayed before the task of stating whether his authors were college graduates or not. Without attempting any such labori­ ous task as an analysis of Mr. Adams' book in this particular, we confidently affirm that the proportion of non-col­ legiate men in the lists of authorship is greater to-day than it was in that in­ definite period known as "before the war." Making a list hastily of well- known authors, setting their names down as they occur to us, it appear" that Irving, Poe, Cooper, and Whittle* are almost the only names of men o' the first rank who did did not have P collegiate education. Bryant began a college course, but was compelled to dis continue it. Longfellow, Hawthornu Holmes, Emerson, Thoreau, Willis, Prescott, Bancroft, Motley, the twe Danas, were all college men. In taking men of the later genera­ tion, and recognizing the conspicuous rather than the eminent as a basis for judgment, the college men are Park- man, Warner, Lodge, Fiske, various Adamses, Hale, Higginson, White, Story, Cranch, Scudder, Leland, De- Forst, Curtis, Norton, J. F. Clarke, Rip­ ley. Stedman offsets Bryant as com­ ing between the two classes. Of non- college men, a larger number may readily be named, Walt Whitman, Whipple, Trowbridge, Fields, Parton, Stoddard, Bayard Taylor, Eggleston, Harte, Howells, James, Aldrich, La- throp, Stockton, Piatt, Cable, Craw­ ford, Fawcett, Gilder, Harris, Carle- ton, Mark-Twain, Burroughs. It is possible that we have put some name in one or the other of theso lists oi^ the wrong side, but there can be no consid­ erable error, and any one can add to either list according to his own judg­ ment without materially disturbing the balance. To test the matter in another way, we have taken the catalogue of the publishing firm which is rccognized as publishing the most representative list of American books. Here, wel ruled out only strictly professional books, and divided the authors into two classes, the dead and the living. Of the dead, there are forty-two names. Ten, or less than one-fourth, were not co lege men. Of the living, we count 133 names. Fifty-one, or more than one-third, are not college men. Of course, this cannot I e called a scientific test, yet it approximates such a test, and shows with tolerable force that the ranks of literature are recruited from the men who do not go to college far more than was the case in former days. --Boston Advertiser. A Dietary Blunder* Sir Henry Thompson writes: "Most persons might naturally be aware that the primary object of drink is to satisfy the thirst, which means a craving for the supply of water to the tissues--the only fluid they demand and utilize when the sensation in question is felt. Water is a solvent of solids, and is more powerful to this end when em­ ployed free from admixture with any other solid mate rial. It may be flavored, as in tea and otherwise, without impart­ ing its solvent power, but when mixed with any concrete matter, as in choco­ late, thick cocoa, or even with milk, its capacity for dissolving--the very qual­ ity for which it was demanded--is in great part lost. So plentiful is nutri­ ment in solid food that the very last p'ace where we should seek that quality is the drink which accompanies the ordinary meal. Here, at least, we might hope to be free from an exhortation to nourish ourselves, when desirous only to allay thirst or moisten our solid morsels with a draught of fluid. Not so; there are even some persons who must wash down their ample slices of roast beef with draughts of new milk-- an unwisely devised combina ion even for those of active habit, bnt for men and women whose lives are little occu­ pied by exercises, it is one of th9 greatest dietary blunders which can be perpetrated. One would think it was generally known that milk is a pecu­ liarly nutritive fluid, adapted for the fast growing and fattening young mam­ mal--admirable for such, for our small children; also serviceable to those whose inusular exertion is great, and when it agrees with the stomach, to those who can not take meat. For us who have long ago achieved our full growth, and can thrive on solid fare, it is altogether superfluous and mostly ^MTMHMVOU# M * M - -I ^ . 5 • ^ " . . REMINISCENCES J)F PUBLIC MEN. BY BEN: I'EHtrEY I'OOBE. Gen. W. T. Sherman was one of the few mien who understood the gigantic proportions the war would assume, but he sbon became thoroughly disgusted with those in authority. He was in command at Louisville, and was called on there by Secretary Stanton and Adjutant-Gen. Thomas, with whom he had a private conversation on the sit­ uation of a Hairs in Kentucky. A re­ port of this interview was furnished by Adjutamt-Gen. Thomas for publication in the New York Tribune, greatly to Gen. Sherman's disgust. He knew that he was surrounded by the secret agents of .the Confederates in Louis- ana, but he did not think when he was admitting the Secretary of War into his Confidence; that he was furnishing for publication the very information which the spies desired. Washington society was very desira­ ble during the latter days of Monroe's administration, and Mr. Ogle Taylor used to allude to that epoch as the golden period. Sir Charles Bagot and his beautiful wife, the daughter of Lord Mornington and niece of Well­ ington, represented here the court of St. James. From France came Hyde de Neuville, a noble specimen of the old regime; from Russia, Spain, Portu­ gal, and Sweden, noblemen of distin­ guished manners and rare accomplish­ ments. The illustrious Marshall was chief justice, with Story, Trimble, and other great lawyers at his side. In the Cabinet were Adams, Calhoun, Wirt, Rush, Crawford, and Thompson; in Congress, Clay, Gaston, Lowndes, Rufus King, Randolph, Lloyd, Critten­ den, Harrison Gray Otis, and Forsyth, Decatur, the "Bayard of the seas," Porter, brave as Nelson and accom­ plished as Cochrane, Rodgers, War­ rington, Chauncy, Stewart, Morris, and other naval heroes of the "late war," were permanent residents of the city, as were also many officers of the army of great distinction in the same war, with Gen. Bernard, of Napoleon's staff, a distinguished military engineer. Mrs. John Quincy Adams, who was the daughter of Mr. Johnson, of Mary-* land, for many years consul at London, when her husband was Secretary of State, gave receptions on Thursday evenings, which were very generally attended by the distinguished people of the day, and which have been com­ memorated by the lines of the late John T. Agg, the accomplished corres­ pondent of Walsh's Philadelphia Gffc eette, commencing thus: Y Wend you with the world to-night? East and West, and South and North, ' si * J*om a constellHtion bright, ' I'ouring blended brilliance forth. ' " Maids and matrons, ' *• ' ,, , Y 5 « Dailies and madmues, All have gone to Mrs. Adams'! MTH. Sullivan Is there, With all the charms thatnaturo lent her; Gay Monroe, so debonaire, ' Winning Gales and V'anderventer. The most attractive women in Wash­ ington were presented in this short poem, a copy of which I have not seen for thirty years, but which is doubtless preserved among the unconsidered trifles of many an old family in this District Mrs. Sullivan was a daugh­ ter of Gov. Winthrop, of Massachu­ setts, and the wife of Georgo Sullivan, a son of Gov. Sullivan, of the same State. Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan died in France, at an advanced age. "Gay Monroe," daughter of the President, became Mrs. Couverneur, of New York, and died many years since. "Winning Gales," the wife of that great man, Jo. Gales, of the Intelligencer, survived nearly all her contemporaries at Ecking- ton, in the environs of Washington. George W. Adams, the oldest son of John Quincy Adams, committed sui­ cide in 1820, when, on account of his dissipated habits, his cousin, Mary Helen, rejected him, and engaged her­ self to his brother, John Adams, who also became intemperate. Mr. W. C. Johnson, of Newburyport, a son of Alexander B. Johnson, President of the Ontario Branch Bank, in that city, married a daughter of Mr. and Mrs. John Adams. His mother was a daugh­ ter of Charles Adams, the second son of the elder Adams, a man of dissi­ pated habits, and a resident of the city of New York, where he died in the year 1800. Charles Adams married a Miss Smith, of an old Long Island family, and the sister of Col. William S. Smith, who married the daughter of John Adams, and was his Secretary of legation in London in 1784 Mrs. John Adams died at Washington in the sum­ mer of 1870. Admiral Dahlgren was at the Wash­ ington Navy Yard much of the time during the war, experimenting with ordinance and perfecting the gun which l>ears his name. He had sue- cessivelytlost his wife, his two charm­ ing daughters, and his son, who was killed before Richmond while leading a cavalry raid. He married as his second wife, Mrs. Goddard, the only daughter of the late Hon. Samuel F. Yinton, for twenty-three years a 'representative from Ohio in the Cbngress of the United States, and one of the wisest and ablest men of his time. Mr. Yin- ton was a native of Massachusetts, and soon after his emigration to Ohio mar­ ried the daughter of one of the French pioneers of Gallipolis. After his re­ tirement from Congress, during Mr. Filmore's administration, Mr. Yinton became a permanent resident of Wash­ ington, his daughter Mrs. Goddard, presiding over his household with grace and dignity. Her husband, a distin­ guished young lawyer in Ohio, was chief clerk of the Interior Department until the summer of 1852. He died the following winter, of consumption. In the year 1864 her father died, and she became, with her children, the heiress of his great estate. Like her mother, Mrs. Dahlgren is a devoted Roman Catholic. Her cbildren^by her first husband, are also of the same church. Her daughter, who married Mr. Overbeck, who was Austrian Con­ sul at Hong Kong, was an accomplished linguist, and a woman of superior in­ tellect. Admiral Dahlgren died in 1870, and Mrs. I^phlgren has since con­ tinued to reside at Washington. they were met by a committee headed by Miss Kelley. Every battered mus­ ket was seised by fairiwhite: hands, and a rich bouquet thrust in the muzzle. Having loaded the muskets with suoh strange ammunition, the ladies fairly smothered the men with wreaths and floral souvenirs, and feasted and feted them until they were almost ready to burst. A Brave Woman Soldier. The only lady, perhaps, who was ever made orderly sergeant in a regi­ ment during the war was Mi»s Theresa Kelley, formerly of Cincinnati, but now a resident of Cleveland. That she was a born commander is proved by the fact that she now has under her direc tion a score or more employes in a large book bindery. She was one of the heroic ladies who went to the front during the rebellion. She could not shoulder a musket, but she nursed wounded and sick soldiers, caught the last feeble messages gasped out by dying men to those at home, and withal made herself so substantial an angel of mercy that the Fifth Ohio Regiment gave her a certificate as orderly ser­ geant. Her work was not finished at the close of the war. When those of the Seventh Regiment, who had sur­ vived rebel bullets and disease, arrived at Cincinnati, on their wav home to A Word About Boys. The average boy begins so be a nuis­ ance within from twenty-five to thirty minutes after he is born* and rapidly goos on from bad to worse, until his whiskers are well developed.and he has boys of his own. Talk about women being the original cause of sin I Why, there is more "pure cussedness" wrap­ ped up in a 12-year-old-boy than you could crowd into the busy brains of all the women in the world, old or young. The small boy takes to devilment by instinct, same as young goslings take to water. We once knew of a boy who fell out of his cradle, and then, no one being near to answer his yells, he crawled across the floor to' the fire­ place, raked some cinders out on the hearth and rolled over into them, nearly burning himself to death just to- spite his mother, who left him alone for a few moments while she ran in to a neighbor's to swap a little gossip. Did any one ever see a 6-months-old boy that would miss an opportunity to pull a lamp over on himself if he just bad a half a chance? Of course not. There were never such boys born. We should just like to know the name and pedigree of the boy who, if he got hold of a powder flask, wouldn't put it in the fire; or succeeding in securing a hatchet, would not chop off" his sister's fingers; or got near a tub of water, and wouldn't dive into it head first; or, slipped out on the second story porch and neglec­ ted any possible opportunity to fall ofE If he did, he would not be a boy. An examination of him would show that he was some unconscionable freak of na­ ture for which no name has yet been found. But, as intimated at the, beginning of this veracious narrative, the boy does not eease to be a terror after he has reached the dignity of trowsers. Truth Compels the admission that the longer his trowsers, the holier a terror he becomes. As long as he is in dresses, his mother, the nurse and two or three hired girls may, by untiring vigilance, prevent him from killing himself or some one else. But when he gets into jackets and the streets, it takes a whole jcommunity to watch him. And then be­ hold how "deftly" he "rakes in the pot" in spite of them all. In the glojving lan­ guage of oriental metaphor, "It is a cold day when he gets left." He will descend^ Ho the bottom of the deepest well and be fished out only to climb to the top of the highest steeple. He had rather hook green apples and double him­ self up with the colic than eat ripe oranges and bananas and keep well-- unless he should, see an opening for stealing the latter, something IIQ will take advantage of every time |with more thau lightning-like celerity! As he advances in age, he advances in b.ar-y barons diabolism. From tying a tin- pan to the tail of a dog, he ties suggest­ ive placards to the copt-tails of his sis­ ter's beaux. There is no use in trying to bribe him into decency. He is not for sale. You cannot whip him into it, any more than you can take a club and hammer the mischief out of a western cyclone. There was never but one thing in all animated nature that has been known to subdue a boy. About the time the down begins to form on his upper lip and his voice loses the execrable shrill tremble we are all so familiar with, introduce him to somo good girl. The chances are he will fall over head and ears in love with her. If he does, he is safe. It he does not, you might as well leave him to his fate--the gallows or the penitentiary. Bowling Green Sunday Critic. The Neapolitan Cabuian. In Naples no inhabitant of the town ever thinks of paying a cabman his legal fare. Everyone feels it would be unjust to compel him to drive from one end of the town to the other for the 8 pence he has a right to claim, and on such occasions every one gives him something extra. But for short drives the 8 pence is too much. On sumirier afternoons a walk through the streets is almost intolerable. You have been to see the museum or aquarium, let us say ; the walk from either to the neigh­ borhood of San Carlo, where the great coffee houses are, is short; but if you go on foot you know you will be ex­ hausted before you reach your destina­ tion. As soon as you appear on the public way* half a dozen cabmen offer their services. You choose the cab you like, say "San Carlo," place the first finger of your left hand across the sec­ ond joint of the first finger of your right and walk on. You have offered the driver half a lire. He shrugs his shoulders and sits firmly on his box; do not turn your head; in half a minute he will be rattling along the road be­ side you. "But also a gratuity for me, sir." The only notice you take is slightly to elevate your chin, without honoring him even with a Bide glance. Seeing you are an adept, he cries at once: "Come in, sir; come in." If you do so you will have no quarrel with him at parting. All but the very worst Neapolitans will adhere to the agree­ ment they have once made; but your cabman will think none the worse of you if you give him 2 soldi-- 1 pence-- at parting. This gratuity is not un­ usual, and does not, if a bargain has been made, denote extravagance.--The Saturday lievieiv. But How About the It is a popular superstition that the center of the oar is not only the safest part, -but is also much the easier riding: One of the greatest trials of a Pullman conductor's life is the fact that about every passenger asks for lower center birth the first thing, and is frequently indignant because it cannot be had. If the center of the oar rides any easier •than the end, then our cars, built as soiid and strong as they are, spring np and down in the middle precisely as does a buckboard. If they do not, why should it ride easier? As for safety, if you are in the rear of the last car on the train,and another train runs into the rear, you are liable to get hurt. In all other accidents you can conjure up as liable to occur, it is safest. If a head collision there is nothing back o{ you to add force to the blow. If the car leaves the track and collides with a bridge or any obstruction on a side track it will not be in your end. If the train is thrown down an embankment, there is nothing to land on top of you. Then this location is the most pleasant. From it you can watch all the move­ ments of your fellow passengers, often a good way of passing the hours of a long, tedious journey. If your eye hap­ pens to catch a particularly fine view, you can, by turnning in your seat or stepping to the door, take it all in. If there is a safest part of a train it is in tfe* l»st .^ia^ira JiaUroafi, Awe* DIVORCES OF THE WORLD. * ---- How Mid for What Reason They Are Granted la Many Countries. ' The following particulars as to the methods of securing divorces in differ­ ent countries are interesting: Siamese --The first wife may be divorced, not sold, as the others may be. She then may claim the first, third, and fifth child, and the alternate children are yielded to the husband. Arctic Re- gion When a man desires a divorce he leaves the house in anger, and does not return for several days. The wife understands the hint, packs her clothes and leaves. Tartars--The husband may put away his partner and seek an­ other when it pleases him, and the wife may do the same. If she be ill-treated she complains to tho magistrate, who, attended by the principal people, • ac­ companies her to the house and pro­ nounces a formal divorce. Chinese--Divorces are allowed in all cases of criminality, mutual dislikes, jealousy, incompatibility of temper, or too much loquacity on the part of the The husband cannjot sell his wife until she leaves him bv'action of the law or desertion. A son is bound to divorce his wife if she displeases his parents. J®wa--la olden times the Jews had a discretionary power of divorcing tneir wives. Thibetans--Divorces are seldom al­ lowed, unless with the consent of both parties--neither of whom can ofterward remarry. . Moors--If the wife does not become a mother of a boy sho may be divorced with the consent of the tribe, and she can marry again. Abyssinians--No form of marriage is necessary. The connection may be dis­ solved and renewed as often as the par­ ties think proper. Siberians--If a man be dissatisfied with the most trifling act of his wife, he tears her cap or veil from her head, and this constitutes a divorce. Coreans.--The husband can divorce hi3 wife, and leave her the charge of maintaining the children; if she prove unfaithful, he can put her to death. Druse and Turkoman--Among these people if a wife asks permission to go out, and if he says "go" without add­ ing "but come back again," she is di­ vorced. Though both parties desire it, they cannot live together without being remarried. Cochin Chinese--If the parties choose to separate, they break a pair of chop-sticks, or copper coin, in the pres­ ence of witnesses, by which action the union is dissolved. The husband must restore to the wife the property belong­ ing to her prior to her marriage. Ameirican Indians--Among some tribes the pieces of sticks given to the witnesses of the marriage are burned* as a sign of divorce. Usually new connections are formed without the old ones being dissolved. A man never divorces his wife if she has borne him so|is.--Let ds Mercury. he Pontoons Before Fredericksburg. The defenses of Fredericksburg were held by two regiments of sharpshooters, who, sheltered in houses and rifle-pits, interfered seriously with the work of building the pontoon bridges. The work of throwing the bridges was be­ gun at 3 o'clock on the morning of De- cember 11. Work was little inter­ rupted, but on the middle and upper bridges the Confederate sharpshooters drove away the working parties as soon as the daylight revealed them. The morning was foggy, so that the batter­ ies placed to protect the building of the bridges could not be effectually used. When the fog lifted, shortly before noon, it was seen that the guns had been placed so high, that they could not drive the hidden riflemen from their coverts The officers said that the bridge could not be laid. Gen. Burnside said that it must be done, and called for volunteers to cross the river in boats and dislodge the sharpshooters. The Twentieth and Nineteenth Mas-achusetts Regi­ ments, the Seventh Michigan, and the Eighty-ninth New Y'ork, of the Third Brigade, Second Division, came for­ ward, and accomplished the daring feat nobly. The detachment was com­ manded by Col. Norman A. Hall, then in charge of the Third Brigade, but the officer leading the advance was Capt. Mary, of the Twentieth Massachusetts. The head of the column was met with terrible fire, and ninety-seven officers and men fell in the space of about fifty yards, but there was no faltering, and before night all the sharpshooters were driven from their positions, and by day­ light, December' 12, the town was in the hands of the Union forces.--Inter- Ocean., An Engineer's Story* The following story of an engineer on a Westerns, railway shows how fast the couutry is growing. We do not hold ourselves responsible for the truth of the story, but we do not hesitate to say that it is "not much of a story," compared with that told by the West­ ern man who makes an effort: "One day I was driving my engine over the prairie at the rate of forty miles an hour without a house in sight, and supposing the nearest town to be thirty miles distant. But as I glanced ahead I was astonished to see that I was approaching a large city. I rubbed my eyes, thinking it was a mirage. " 'Jim,' said I to the fireman, 'what's this place?' " 'Blamed if I know I' says Jim star­ ing out of the cab. 'I declare if there ain't a new town growed up here since we went over the line yesterday!' - " 'I believe you are right, Jim. Ring the bell or we shall run over some­ body !' "So I slowed np and we pulled into a large depot, where more'n five hun­ dred people were waiting to see the first train come into the place. The conductor learned the name of the town, put it down on the scliedule, and we went on. " 'Jim,' says I, as we pulled out, 'keep your eyes open for new towns. First thing you know we'll be runnin' bv some strange place.' '"•That's so!' says Jim, 'An' hadn't we better git one of the brakemen to watch out on the rear platform of the last car for towns that spring np after the engine gets by Providence Stan A FRENCU critic has succeeded more than any American or Englishman in giving tho definition of flirting. "It is," he says, "to lfet a young man under­ stand that he has been remarked and distinguished, to draw him on by a few pleasant smiles and pretty little ways to quit his reserve and pnsh his gal­ lantry almost to the point of a declara­ tion of love." This little game would be very dangerous with a young Frenchman; it is of no consequence with a young Englishman, for with him flirtation means attention paid to a woman without intentions. LANGUAGES are to be learned only, by reading and talking, and not by scraps PITH AUD POINT. THB clothes may make the man, buti they certainly* d<mT taulqb the ballet danoer.--Stockton Maverick. THB man who thinks lie can commn r nicate freely by telephone is laboring1 • tL Th* .Tif fin* ,T', Ijis sweet to court » When thereto only Put uphill work ' If there're more at yon. ' --Stockton Maverick. "DQ YOU enjoy good health?" asked Cross. "Why, yes, of course. Whop doesn't?" replied Boss tersely.--StM Paul Herald. "No, SIB," he said to the captain, "I'm not seasick, but I am deucedly * disgusted with the motion of the ves­ sel."--Boston Gazette. SOME people who profess to have a!:- good command of language, don't seem to exercise it to a very great extents when their jaws get to wagging once.--: Merchant Traveler. "I'M a daisy," said a drunken hus­ band to his wife. "Cows " "Oh, Nellie! Don't be vulgar." "I'm not vulgar; I was only going to say cows eat daisies.--Carl Pretzel's Weekly. IN the present day, from the ways , some people act, one would sflppose that they looked upon the devil as a pretty good fellow, but in olden times he was condsidered Abad'un.--Texas Sifting s. "AN Indiana young lady," says an exchange, "has invented a piano stool > that rests the back." Persons who are '. weak in the spinal column should bny. a piano stool and wear it on their backs. --Newman Independent, CIIILDBEN, as a rule, are very fond of. toy balloons. But, after all, this is not strange when we come to consider that even the practical aeranant is .very much taken up with his balloon when using it--Boston Courier. "As a part of the marriage ceremony in Servia the bride has to hold a piece of sugar between her lips." This is done so that when the bridegroom kisses her it won't taste so much like sucking a crack in a lemon.--Newman Inde­ pendent. THIS new rocipe is given by a west­ ern practitioner: "The way to raise a moustache is to rub salt on your up­ per lip before retiring at night, and place a tub of water at the side of the bed. If there is any moustache in em­ bryo it will crawl out to get a drink." --Barbers'Gazette. .. AT CHURCH. With creaky shoes ft strangortreia&a The echo-haunted aisle, And all the people turn their heads TO see tho man tho preacher dreads-- The man who makes iolka suaile. For stratagems he is not fit. Nor yet for treason's role; For he, who like a ghost doth flit. And in a front pew calmly siV' Hath music in his sole. --Neto York Journal. " MARY'S LITTLE PUR Mary had a little pup; Its fleas were black as rain, And wlion her beau would take It tip ' He'd drop it quick again, j "Why am I like a little pup. Miss Mary?" asked the beau, •1 And told her when she gave it np, "Because I love you so." "O my," she yawned, "but I know why You are unliku him, too." "O tell me," he murmured with a sigh, "And make mo happy. Do!' "Well, then," she smiled, "thereasonl> Pug has a chin like you; But he can keep a watch on his Which you can never do." --H. C. Dodge, in the Chicago Sun. "MATILDA 1" he exclaimed* the per> spiration irrigating the rootlets of his twany lock; "Matilda! I love you." "Henry," she replied, clubbing with her fan the mosquito who was dining on her damask cheek; "Henry, it does you credit." "And," resumed Henry, with a voice far below the middle stud of his immaculate shirt-front; "and do • you, Matilda--do you--er love me?" "No, Henry," replied Matilda, with a Christian-humility-and-resigned-to-my- lot frankness; "no, Henry, I do not love you, but I esteem you as a " "O, stop that," vociferated Henry; "none of your esteem you as a brother: that's too hoary a chestnut- forme." And Henry on that same hour the lady forsook. True, he had to; but never you mind; he forsook her, all the same. --Boston Transcript. Coppered. An old man and a young one met at the station and boarded an outgoing train. They were evidently father and son. The father had spent the day at­ tending to business, while the young­ ster had been hunting for city pleas­ ures. "You've had a nice time, have you, William ?" remarked the elder. "Now, yon will hand me that money I gave you to take care of." "Father," replied the son, seriously, "I--I have a confession to make. This afternoon a friend took me into a gam­ bling house, and, just for fun, I made a few bets on the deuce. I played her open, but she dropped wrong on me right along.. Bnt I trebled my bets every time, pa, and finally thought I would sink the whole pile Or quit a big winner, and so I staked every dollar I had. Pa, the deuce lost again, but--" "Not another word! I see it all. You have lost your money and dis­ graced your family. I don't know what your gambling gibberish means--I never disgraced myself by going into such places. William, you will bring yonr poor old father's gray hairs in sorrow to the grave. You--" "But, pa, that last bet was coppered." "Coppered, boy, and fell beside the box? Is that so? Bless you, my son; bless you. Did you wi i a stack of blues? Beds, yon say? Better still. Good for you, 'William; you're a chip of the old block.. Bun out and buy some good cigars before the train starts." And the old man rubbed his hands in glee, looking at least a dozen years younger.--Chicago Herald. A Horrible Death. Judge Punkley, a leading member of the New York bar, who is somewhat intemperate in his habits, was obliged to consult a physician. The latter ex­ amined the invalid's nose and breath, and then said: "You must take one drink less every day." "One drink less every day! Holy Moses! If I take one drink less every day, in about six months I'll not take any more at all. Why that is killing me off by inches."--Texas Siftings. f ' . : Not iu the Right Place. •••» Youthful Admirer--"Did you arrive in time to hear Miss Dashy play?" Professional Musician--"les." "In time to hear the Moonlight So­ nata, then?" v . "Yes." . , . * "Wasn't it glorious? I loll yon that girl has music in her soul." "Ah! but she hasn't got it in£her fingers."--Philadelphia Call. COURAGE of a high order may be needed to face a battery of guns, but the young wife, who sees her husband attack the first mince pie she ever made, aswa a nobler courage displayed.