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i?. . : > • sv: - . . I- Pledged but to Truth, to Liberty ftlfKaw; No Favors Win us and no Pear Shall Awe.' V & VOL. 11. M'HENRY, ILLINOIS. W»NESDAY. SEPTEMBER 23, 1885. j||^[eBpy |lma3esler. Published Cv-y Wednesday by JT. VA> SLYKE " EDIT01 a*D PUBL.1 Office in Bishop's Block, --Ol'FOSlT B PESRV St OWBS'S.-- . ^XEBMI W SUBSCRIPT 3ne Vear (In AdvaE<•«) If Not Paiit within Three Months....- Suosoriptions received for |three nonths in the same proportion. ....$1.50 . .. i.00 or six Kates of Advertising. We announce liberal rates for advertising in the Pt-AINKEALKR, and endeavor to state them so plainly that they will be readily un­ derstood. They are as fallow*: 1 Inch one year 2 Inches one year 3 Inches one "year - If Column one" year i( Column one year. Column one year 5 00 poo 15 00 80 00 60 00 100 00 One inch means the measurement of one nch down the column, single column width. Yearly advertisers, at the above rates, have the privilege of changing as often as they thoose, without extra charge. Regular advertisers (meaning those having Itanding cards) will be entitled to insertion •f local notices at the rate of 5 cents per tine each week. All others will be charged 10 cents per *.ine the flrst week, and 5 cents per line for each subsequent week. Transient advertisements will be charged *t the rate of 10 cents i»e line, (nonpareil type, same as this is set in) the first issue, and I cents per line for subsequent issues. Th'is, an inch advertisement will cost $U00forone week, tl.50 for two weeks, 92.00 for three " weeks, and so on. The Pt.aindealbr will If liberal in giving editorial notices, but, as a business rule, it will require a suitable fee from everybody seeking the use of its columns for pecuniary gain. BUSINESS CARDS. H. T. BROWN, M.D. mVSICIAN AN1> SURGEON. Ofllce at Residence, McHenry, 111. C. H. FEGERS, M. D- OHY8ICIA.N AND SURGEON. McHenry, I Ills. Ofllce at Residence. 0. J. HOWARD, M. I). I>HYSlOIAN AND SURGEON, McHenry, I 111. Ofllce one door West of Fitzsimmons A Evan8on's»8tore, up wtairs. BARBIAN BROS. DIG AR Manufacturers, McHenry, 111. Or­ders solicited. Shop, In Old McHenry, ,|n Keiter Block, third door west of Riverside House. WASHINGTON, D. C The popular palace hotel of the National Oapital. Conveniently located and accessible ^toall the street ear lines o£ the city. Open all the year. 0 HTAPLK8, PBOFBIBTOH. Late of the Thousand Island House. 1/ ftOBT SCHIESSLE living purchased the old st;iu<] of Joseph Wiedemann, NEAR THE DEPOT, McIIENBY, ILLINOIS, Keeps open for the accommodation of the Public a rirst-Olass Saloon and Restaurant, •Where he will at all times keep the|best brand8 of Wines, Manors and Cigars to be found in the market. Also Agent For FRANZ TALK'S JttfMEE LAGER BEER Beer in Large or Small Kegs or Bottles al­ ways on hand, cheaper than any other, quali­ ty considered. Orders by mail promptly attended to. GOOD STABLING FOR HOUSES. S^Cali and aee.us. Robert 8chiessle§ McHenry, III.. May 15th, 1886. M A R C U S ' CERMAN I Manufactured by F. MARQUS, •DEALER IN-- PURE WINES, LIQUORS AND QfGARS. Woodstock, |l|. host ToulP ir, tijp wqfld. ~Put up in Pint and quart Bottles. F. MARCUS, Patentee. DONT YOU FORGET IT! ASA W. SMITH, • ' --OF-- ^ Woodstock, - - Illinois. Backed by Millions of money^ offej you IN UK If!? IT T against damage by Fire, Lightning, Wind Storms, CYCLONES AND TORN A DOHA IRhnnp me * postal card and I will visit yon; Off Uje and I will write you a policy, and Vifenpitber oranv pf these destructive ele- «e«ts devastate# your »ropert>*. happy will fou be if yov Ijoid oi>e <>f my policief, for I Will surety visit yoo, and ju>i»»8ter uotojyou. will not fof sake you. ABA W. SMim, BUSINESS CARDS. ASA W. SMITH, TTORHEY AT LAW and Bolioitor in L Chancery.--Woodstock, III. S. F. BENNETT, M, D. H¥SICIAN AND SURGEON. Also United States Examining Surgeon. Richmond, Uinois. A. 8. CHILDS, M. D., tTOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN AND SUR­ AL GEON, West McHenry, III. Calls promptly attended to, day or nifrht. DR. C. R. WELLS. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON, Wa Lake Co., III. All calls promptly ed, day or night. Office on Main St., ed. ..... Barker's harness chop. Wauconda, attend- east of MART G. BARBIAN. HAIR WORKER. All kinds of Hair Work done in first class style and at reasonable prices. Rooms st residence, north­ east corner ef Public Square, McHenry, III. DR. C. E. WILLIAMS. DENTIST. Residence Dundee. Will be at McHenry. at Parker House, the 10th 11th 25th and Wth of each month. When dates occur Saturday or Sunday I make my visits on the following Monday, and the first day of such visit occurs on Friday, I will stay but one day. A. M. CHURCH, Watchmaker and Jeweler NO. 55 FIFTH AVE., (Briggs House). Chi­cago. III. Special attention given to re­ pairing Fine watches and Chronometers. *^A Full Assortment of Goods in his line AT THE OLD STAND, JACOB BONSLETT, JALOOX AND RESTAURANT, at the old J stand, opposite Bishop's mill, McHenry, III. The choicest Wines, Liquors an-i Cigars to he found in the county. Warm or cold meals on short notice on application. PHIL BEST'S MILWAUKEE BEER by the Bottle or Case, always on hand. GOOD STABLING FOR UORSKS. 4.PEKOVSKY, CIGAR MANUFACTURER, Wholesale and Retail Dealer. HANDLES nore but his own make,and will compare his Brands with the best mad? in the State. Store and Manufactory next door to 'he Post Office, McHenry, III. CHAS. H. TRYON. DRAINAGE ENGINEER. Levels taken, drains located and graites es­ tablished for tile and open drains Elevations taken of springe, ponds and water courses. and all work requiring accurate leveling. P.O. Address, Greenwood, III. DO YOU KNOW THAT Plug Tobacco, With Red Tin Tag; Rose Leaf Fine Cut Chew ing; Navy Clippings, and Black, Brown and Yellow Snuffs ure the best and the choieest quality considered. Attention Horsemen! I would call the aitentfion of the public to my Stable ot Stock Horses, four in number: two Morjsra^s, one 3-4 Percheron, and one Imported Horse. They are all good representatives of their breed. Also a few Merino Sheep - r gjale. The public are cordially invitMto call and examine stock, get prices, etc. No business done on Sunday. N. S. Colby. io-7-tf Mchenry, ill PUMP REPAIRING, OKMENTINQ, ETC. The undersigned is prepared to do all jobs In the line of Digging Wells, Repairing Pumps. Cementing Wells, or will put in . New Pumps On short notice and warrant satisfaction. In short will do all wosk in this line. Can furnish you a new Pump, either wood or iron, warranted, as cheap as any other man. Good references furnished if desired. If you want a Well Dug, a Pump Repaired or a new Pump, give me a call. WOrders by mail promp ly attended to- Post Office, Jonnsburgh, ill. L. BANTES. Johnsourgh, III., May 25th, 1836. LORILLARO'S 2: PLOWSHMEti" !.«<• D l I I O A s k y , H r • Im U V^l • Dealer for it BQBEBT C. -BREEDER OF- FOWLS JflCttMONp, ILfc. (FIRS? HBWfPY iT SJCHRWBT OOOKTT FAIR. My fowls are of the celebrated DUKE OP YOliK strain, rcu?arkat?le for their great si»e and laying qualities. I can )h' a trio of la'?t season's" chicks weighing SI pounds. Egg», per setting of thirteen. $1-S0,' delivered to purchaser in Richmond, shipped, securely packed, *2.00. • UQMf&rc, fijutyjsn E. R. BENNETT, M. ft.. Late House Surgeon Cook Connty Hospital, RICHMOND»1LLINOI8, Special attention given to difficult Surgical cases. DEVT&CH GESPHOCHEN. Office at Residence of Dr. S. F. Bennett. ANDREW BRONT, HOUSE PAINTER, McHENRY, IM* GRAINING, CALCIMINING, ETC. Done In the most approved nodera styles, and Guarantee Satistaetion. Mr Charges Reasonable. Can be found at Residence, otu Law I as' Clothing Store. ll-3-4w Andrew Bront* J. C. KARGES, Boose, Sign and Carriage PAINTER, Shop at McHenry House, Near th« Iron Bridge. I am prepared to do all kinds of PaintingtMi short notice, and guarantee satisfaction. Sign Fainting a Specially. Dill and see me if In want of anything in je Painting line, as lam satisfied that 1 can please you, uoth in workmanship and price. J. C. Kairgea. McHenry, June IS, 1886. Hgji H WIG HTM AW, Proprietor, first class rigs, with or without drivers furnished at reasonable rates, all kinds done on short notice, Teaming of ATTENTION LADIES. MRS-J H.SEXTOK, ?or the past ten ye<irs one ot the leading Dressmakers in Elgin, has moved to McHenry where she is ready to do» Dressmaking in all the latest styles. Satisfac­ tion guaranteed. Cutting and Fitting a specialty. Also agent for the I. X L.," Tailor system of Cutting and Fitting. Full instructions given* Rooms two doors West of the Riverside House, FOB BABGAIHS 9 For Coal and Wood CALL ON E. M. HOWE Opposite BiHhop's Mill, 4Tho has a complete line of the best stoves in the market, as well as a large stock of Mare, Mechanic's M, TIN, COPPER «L SHEET IRON WARE, And, !in|fi»ct. everythiag(ln the hardware «tove and tin lino. HE WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD. Call at his store before buying elsewhere, fobbing and repairing promptly attended to •9-Remember, extra good bargains oaa al- *ays be obtained at Howe's. McHenry, Dec. 1, 1883 APER ft contains lists of newspapers and e Ofthe cost of advertising. The advert wants to spend one dollar, finds in A book of 100 pa«es. The best book for an advertiser to con­ sult, be be experi­ enced or otherwise, •sand estimates advertiser who warn* ui spend one dollar, Snds in it the in­ formation he requires, while forhlm who will Invest one hundred thousand dollars in ad­ vertising, a scheme i» indicated which win meet his ever; " " * """ to do so Ity slight.. despondence. 149 •• ---- -- Sent, post-paid, to any address for 10 cents. Write to GEO. P. ROWKLL 4 CO.j NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING BUREAUt jlO Spruce St. Prfhting House Sq.), KewTqrk, John Helm, Algonquin, III., DEALER IN Bardwttt, StovM, Tiawats, In short, we keep everything in the above mentioned lines, which we are offe ing to the buy­ ing public as cheap as any other house in this section. and Sjee us. ?Qmm 4 H1PAISIWQ, ATTENDED qpft. JOHN HELM. Algonquiq, Feb. 18( 188§, SI for jfThe POLICE , seen rely w rapped, . UaitedSta os for I one: Liberal discount agents and clubs, q Address all ordetil 8mok< NICK OR &-CMNT SI LV dr i For «< QOL] OR 10.CEN1 The Finest i r< All Flmf< feeks. |lc will be mailed, ty »ildress In the reoeipt of ^ iLAR. to pof tmasters, pies mailed Iroe K. FOX, IITAKB, New York. NO. It). ill For TAG, • * mr CIGAR. TAG, ' Cigar. ^ PACK 1H7*CIOAJ{. Ever Offered BY Dealers. BETAILERSmTTEJfTIOJf. We advertise (fesl ing St. Louis dalM pear among the llst< for 60 days from date! first order we send We have eae pri< which there is no<f Tag,935.00; Silver! per 1000. We also line of Oomestio, Cigars in the countrj Sample orders wit Address, TATLOE _ H. P. Hull, Mana*« Is in the lead surname will ap M onoe a woek iMRhase. <vith f ad pretty signs. SSe goods from sly: Xickle , _ Gold Tag, |70.00 ithe most extensive It knd Imported Itom prices. *oods guaranteed. It .niMU. wu. «rtf.».Rra TemtaklSi Flower , PUNTSffifSS^ •rallktoSs. MiM I HIRAM Sit ROCHESTER, N. Y. JI22-326 E. Main St. Wi re H "Vineyard" R( aad DK. JNPLFMRNTS 1 •« MMIeailM !Y & CO. (CHICAGO, ILL It06 Randolph St. tows ir Skatee. For tlic best, most durable and easiest run­ ning Itoller ^kate* gel the ••VINKVAUO." 01 i he principal Rinks are using the "ViNEYAllD" Roller, l'ut up in >ill Clani|>, Half Clamp and strapped Complete. The demand for these skates is so great that they are kept in stock by all principal liar I* ware dealers throughout the country. Mniiuf'iRtured by the Inventor and'Patentee ftAMUEL WINS LOW, WORCESTER, MASS. f I Of s( Plots! P. HAUPERISCH, MoHenrj, Illinois, rtr jti I inform the farmers of McHenry and «u-rounding country that he is prepared to sell t' them a FIRST-CLASS PLOW, Aa.i wanraat tikeaaaae.at a lower price than *aa pnrehaseil elsewhere in the countr. At' <inds of BLACK8MtTHING, KAGOX wl ' ARRIAGE work promptly attended to. I tEPAIHING, •t«u kinds on short notice, JWGive us a sail ad we will please you both ia quaiitv « ' rtce of work. P. HAUPERISCH. Mfifenry, III., Oet.7th. 1884. WE WILL PAY IS.OO A DAY a reliable partv, lady! or gentleman, to receive orders for our publications. Any person applying foi this position, who cunntt call on us personally asast send photograph (which will lie re tdvned), and also names of 3 responsible businessmen as reference. Address ELDF.B PUBLISHING CO Wiiliash Ave., C'Iiii m A, SA^OQIf RESTAURANT Buck's Q14 Stand, MQHENRY, ILLINOIS. Fins Kentucky Liquors, French Bitters, McHenrv Liffer Beep. F&lki' Ifilwaakis Ban, By the Bottle or Case. Webqyqp(gp tUe best ftnfll sell at Prices. Call and aee me and I will u«e you well, ANTONY ENGEI4f. MoHenry, 111., 1884. Soldiers' Department, Conducted bt Dr. s. F. Bknnktt. County GU R. Directory. RTCHMOKD POST HO 286. Meets the flrst and third Frldaj eyenings of each month. Dr. 8. F, Bbvhbtt, Cora. WOODSTOCK POST, Hoglttl f Meets, the third Monday evenings of each month. B. X. Skith. Com. nvnpk post, mo--, Meets the flrst and third Wednesday even, lags of each month. * V Wi. Bctlkk, Com. RARVAKD POST, HO 255. Meets the second and fourth Moaday even­ ings of each month. Dr. II. T. Woodruff, Com. Markhoo Post, No. 169, Meets eve-y Second and Fourth Friday evenings of each month. ^ J. B. Babcock. Com. PENSION MATTERS- |to facilitate work. From the headquarters at Washing* ton, general orders No. 5 have been iseusd. The resolution adopted at the National Encampment In Portland, that the Commnnder>in-chlef be re­ quested by general order t» explain the nature and value of the work done In the Array and Navy Surveyors' Di­ vision of the pension office, and to in­ vite the active co operation of depart­ ments/ post*, and comrades In Its further prosecution, Is quoted, and a letter from the Commissioner of Pen­ sions Is added, which shows the follow* 1"!?! In the analysis of cases pending before this office as made In July, 1883, the fact was disclosed that of the total number, about 244,000 In roiuid num­ bers, 3*1,000 were awaiting the response of claimants to calls for necessary evi­ dence, and tlie evidence lacking In a large mimber Is that of officers and comrades to show the origin of dis­ ability in service and line ef duty. The inability to get the desired evidence in otherwise meritorious cases arises principally from the fact that comrades are widely separated, and have lost all knowledge of each other's whereabouts and are unable to trace the same. In October, 1883, the office decided to establish a record of all soldiers and sailors who had served In the Union army or navy during the late war. Abou 500,000 service cards have at dif- ferentjUmea been Issued to tUfl,. 0. A. R., and there are now returns on file for about 70 per cent of the full mem­ bership. Tire value and success of this method have been fully exemplified th« letter says," by the fact that many hundreds of c tses have been acted upon which could not have been adjudicated because of the inability of ciiimant to furnish the necessary evidence of com­ rades as to the origin of disability In service ai'd line of du y, and thousands of cases that have been rejected owing to the absence of such evidence can be reopened, for even now, with the record in its infancy, the addresses are furn sl.ed of at least 80 per cent of the names called for,and •luring the month of June, 1885, over 15,000 names, with addresses, were supplied to claimant' or their attorneys. There are nnw over 60* .000 names on file, and when It is remembered that there are supposed to be about 1.400,000 surviving soldiers and sailors it will be understood how much there yet remains to be done. The Commander-in-chief Invites the activc co-operation of every member of the Grand Army of the Republic In the prosecution of the above work, be­ lieving that great good will result to worthy applicants for pension. It la suggested that when addresses of ex- soldiers or sailors are required for use in proving disability, and wuen the regiment or branch of service to which such person belonged can not be defi­ nitely stated, that all the circum­ stances and dates (if possible) relating to the occasion on which the disability was lucurred,or dates when in Hospital with comrades whose addresses are re­ quired, be given as clearly and briefly as posglble. In order that when the inquiry 16 published It will be In the best possible shape to produce the desired result. In 1863 there lived near Palmetto a widow by the name of Mrs, Cochran. Although alo^e, her sinoke*house was well stocked, and when Sherman's army came marching through she was well supplied. Learning of their thievish disposition she had her entire lot of baoon piled up in the fro it yard, and a huge butcher knife stuck Into the lame. It wasn't long before'"Yan­ kee noses smelt the meat and came prowling around. To their surprise it w<8 all ready for them to take away, and there stood the old lady, who shouted as a gang came in sight: ' Come on ye heathen?, an' help yerself to this fine meat, 'kat>e I've plzened every pound of it* an' may the Lord pity ye." Her mear was not touched.-- Savannah News. Uni ted States--is quoted as saying: "It looks to me as If Ttlden was elected." Some readers are liable to conclude from that statement that General Grant believed Tilden was rightfully elected and ought to have been so de­ clared by the Electoral Commission, although Mr. Childs does not say that in 60 many word*. Some of our Presi­ dents have not received a majority of the popular vote, while under our forms and systems they were constitu­ tionally elected by a majority vote In the Electoral College. It is a well established fact of that contest that several of the Southern States were carried for Tilden by threats, intimi­ dation, bulldozing, and by the perpe­ tration of the most glaring frauds by the Democratic party in those States The returning boards In the States of Louisiana and Florida, in exercising their power under local law, threw out some of the fraudulent election returns which gave those two States to Hayes. The action of the returning boards was confirmed by the Electoral Commle> sion, and Hayes was legally and right- fully elected President of the United States. This was the view General Grant took of that contest, and in proof of it I cite the fact now known to many that, In order to be prepared for the hordes of Democrats who were said to be ready to march on to Wash­ ington "one hundred thousand strong" to seat Tilden, he had, by virtue of his office as Commander-ln-cblef of the army, placed at convenient points In and around Washington detachments of our regular troops, and had also or­ ganised a local army from the depart­ ments, to be ready and able, if neces­ sary, to enforce the law and right of Hayes to his seat as President of the lJnlt«d States. I heard many Demo* crats say at that time: "If it were not for that man in the White House Til­ den would be teated." General Grant could always be relied upon to uphold right and justice--never to uphold wrong and Injustice. '!Vre Is no decent Republican who would not prefer to see any Democrat seated as President than to elect and seat a Republican fraudulently. No man ever'tiad a keener sense of justice and right than General Grant, and if the Democrats had opposed the seat­ ing of Hayes by violence he would have used the power of his otHoe to enforce the law and decision of the electoral commission. If General Grant had be­ lieved Tilden rightfully elected he had plenty of tim9 to recognize the M>!- Enerv government in Louisiana before Haye« wsn seated, which would doubt­ less have given the State to Tilden, auJ no electoral commission would have been created. He was in favor of the electoral commission bill, because he believed, as some Republican Senators did. that the Senate would never'vote to dec-are a President elected by de­ ciding between two sets of electoral votes from any State. In the absence of a law clearly defining the power of the Senate In such a case, there was a necessity for devising some authority for counting the electoral vote, and out of the many ways proposed he thought the Electoral Commission, composed, as it was, in part of the Supreme Court of the United States, the best and the most likely to com­ mand the respect of the people. If none had been created, the probabili­ ties are that anarchy would have been the result, and that was frightful to w*outem plate, "Obedience to law and loyalty to the government were fundamental In the character of General Grant. His heart was as true to liberty as the needle to the pole'. If be had believed Tilden rightfully elected he would have been seated President of the United States. J. B, Chaffee," GUANT AND PRESIUKNT HAVES, jCx-senator ChaflVso Amends Some State­ ments of Sfr. Childs. fo the Editor of the New Vojk Tribqne. PyuDY'8 Station, Sept. 9.--In ^ the artiole published last Sunday, headed ".R-co.lections of General Grant, by George W. Childs,w refeienoe is made |o the Presidential eleotlon of 1875, which I think in justice to Gen. Grant's memory, should be further explained. The General--then President of the Written for the Plalndeaier. DBBKRR'8 DROLLBRIK8, NO. 87, »T L. b D..JIT. UOVIS, Ma Mr. George Barrows Is a man of ease aud spends his days In his comfortable home, as well as his nights, either in slumber, or walking upon the roof. In deep meditation. His wife, a woman of unusual brightness and aptitude for thought Is in constant fear that he will absent-mindedly walk oil Into the air, and alight in the street some forty feet below. But, for a wonder, up to the present time no accident lias be­ fallen him, save that be fell through the trap-door of the roof into the wadher-woman's lap, who fled lu great consternation, declaring that an angel had fallen out of the sky. On a certain evening there *ere gathered in the parlors Mr. and Mrs. Barrows, Miss Alice Barrows, their daughter, and a bashf <1 young man named Trackless w'io was engaged to Miss Alice. Mr. Trackless was a man of unusually passionate and poetic character, aud w is always amoved to tears by anything be could possibly oonstrue as afleoting. "Hey, youf' snorted the pater f»- milias to Mr. Trackless, "It's my opin­ ion that *s milk is the flrst Ingredient that enters into our stomachic regioua when we are little babes, we should de­ vour nothing else. Yes, sir! Every mother's son of us should keep a sugar- fed cow, with a tail, and live solely on that nutritious vegetable, milk. Hey? What do you tblnk?" All eyes were turned toward Mr. Trackless, who became surprisingly red, and finally stammered: "Don't rou know, some milk ain't milk, yo £ know. It's only chalk, and It woul<I hurt a body,--so much sameness of diet. It would be worse than living on tho* 'milk of human kindness.' Now, don't you really think so, Mr. Barrows But that worthy gentleman had fallen sound asleep. Further conversation was, for the moment. Interrupted by the entrance of a tall, copiously whiskered individu* al who was introduced as Mr. Cavebear,; He was soon conversing with Mrsi ^ Barrows. Said he, "Madam, our country- is a glorious country. I love It with all my soul, with all my heart, with all ray lungs, In fact, with a boundless love. Few countries can hoast of guch ; J a hero as Horace Greeley. His name •% remains in every citizen's memory, and 3 the golden vault in which that memorrf "'| reposes, has emblazoned on Its door of1* • 3 pearl the words: 'Hero, Citisen, an#' ; Christian.'n A sob was heard at this moment, and •'$$ turning side wise in his chair, Mr. Cave- 1 bear was pleased to observe that Mr. _ Trackless was weeping, prasumably *'} from the pathos of the remarks just uttered. He seized him by the band and seemed strongly inclined to repeat * the entire speech, when he was Inter* f rupted by the appearance of Mr. Tom Barrows, a young man probably twenty *• years of age, a son of Mr. Barrow«, 8r. - 4 He had the manner which character* izes the rowdy, strong'y blended witl| p an air of affected politeness. Said he: "As 1 was walking along de street, an old duffer wearin' green goggles walk*' ed along behind me singlri' and mum* blin'. and not llkln' it, as a matter of *'-L course, I turned de corner, but he up J and made tracks after me. So I jestf'• turned another corner to see if de duf- , for was really follerin' me, and, sure enough, dere he come, a singln' and mumblin4!--So JL-jeat turned around and ",-l hit him a lick ou de jaw, and deu [ run," -' 1 Old Grandmother Barrows ha«l been - listening at the key-hole of the door , •'% of an adjoining room, and, completely carried away by excitement, she lost self-control, and sticking hes head into * | the room, she cried shr.ily: "You're a -If dear boy, Tom I I alius knowed ye was ' J gritty. I am gritty, my forefathers 1 and foremothers was gritty, and my chilhui's chlluu la gritty, and there ain't no grittier family nowhere!" and " saying this, she closed the door with mi ^ bang, and was not seen again during the entire evening. At the request of ; the company. Miss Alice arose and sung the thf iliing old song of "John Brown's ' 'I Body Ll»«s a Mouldering in the Grave." (1'| But as she sang it. "grave" sounded very much like "gravy." Wlion she had finished, Mr. Trackless^ was observed to be in tears, and was / speechless with emotion. When he re- gained his voice, he thus explained: "Ye know, I am very fond cf gravy and any allusions to it of a pathetic charac­ ter invariibly moves me to tears. Ye see, it se jms awful to think that Mr,w Brown was buried In gravy. It's my - opinion his folks were crazy to do sucli . a thing. I hope to goodness It is chick- en gravy. But I say, Miss Alice, won't \,U you sing us that bea itiful song a«ain? Your voice is entrancing! You had. / • ought to practice on a jews harp." TUej^pf young lady plead fatigue, and did not In ti>e least seem to cousider herself "J comp'ime 11 ted. In fact site seemed to /fl feel like boxing somebody's ears. Mr. Barrows now awoke, aad looking | around In great surprise at the com- pany, remarked that as it was bed time „ he intended to retire--which he did, in good order. Shortly after his depar-f ture the little assembly dispersed, and fudging from the red appearance of Mr. Trackless' eyes the next day, It Is probable that Mr. Cavebear accom- . panted him home, and remained all ^ night, to talk of Horace Greeley and ^ the tomb of memory. nr. ' Ir I were dead, and you should Aad grab me with your claw, I'd rise up from my lowly bed, , And smack you in the jaw! , Cupid and the Devil are companions. Gambling absorbs joore money than a politician. A man may be worth a million dol* lars, and at the same time, not be "worth a cent." Fame has its privileges. The glrlei know this. So does Gen. Sherman. It is surprising to me why the jail bird is caged. He rarely sings, ami when he d.»es, bis.voice is positively distressing. All humors in our blood culminate at the funny bone. George MacDonald has written a book entitled "Letters frt>m Hell." Any body desiring (o correspond with de­ ceased bank cashiers will please send: to George for ins tructions. MART, KTC, Mary had a long eared mole. Its hoofs were h;irj as tin. And. every time she cauie aaear. The brute kicked out like sla. It foliowe.l her to school one day, And acted like a fool:-- It Knocked the tenciier thro' the And chawed up all the school! ^ ( Yours Pen-slvely, > LOYKfcU « Red path's *3.oo8hoe* The best in the world for the noa» ey. Solid leather, solid sole, ieather counters and innersoles and are made out of first quality calf skin, put le­ ge titer iu au honest, substantial man­ ner and warranted to give satisfaction Try a pair. For sale by Henry Colby*. , -"Vi '