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COISTRI CHAKMa. *T CABLOTTA PEHST. with bondwrn in tJw» «*lfcv. I„ f 'm uuu utv uuty, uaauiag, wngr •tra«4 ^ ' *ald. to ptcaetint paBtmren I will lite. 3SW nv.:iny gla '^s, for clear streams rippling by, Por lilo filing clover nnd for tslin. lows fleet. For rustling oorn-ftelilB ami for waving wheat, *.v very soul cloth long andtaoan und siKty-, And "n-itJ tb<> longings that my soul fnsnaiw, One and foml with n lnv boaam plows; fayhap tin- ran tic mai.icn, passing fair, •esh as tho dew. Bwo«*t as the oi>en rose, . hose charms thu summer novel doth declare. • Mayhap sho -will bo there--who knows? who knows ? And I htul <ireanis it would be mine to spy, Tlio fair white hen-fruit, in its shy retreat, ITbat, served in omelet, by some damsel neat, The morning meal would bless and b autify; tf youthful chickens that would fitly die, • . nd dead and duly broiled my taste Should ereet, , . Ih place of tough and tasteless butcher 8 meat. Of all gcod things in generous supply, Oft in jnv visions did I see a stream Of buttermilk, oft iiid my swift thoughts turn ®o fresh bnx>k trout, and luscious yellow cream Mn bcrrius dewv sweet; while from the churn :j5anie butter with the wondrous golden gleam, ii*ragrant. traditional--thus did I dream and i. voarn. now in bitterness of soul I cry, I who took board with Mrs Jane McFleet; I boldlv nfttno it all a fraud and cheat, Her fowls, none of this age would testify; . Her fresh cr. en peas, her butter, < n the sly Were pent' to market; sadly obsolete ,Wa6 all flic set for me--for me to eat; _ And. heal me, friends, her beefsteak she did try 1 The cream and berries she did quite forget; 5he amber honev, which the books all say THie bet s rib make, for too was never set; Nor tender omelet: though I uid pray Full oft for this and sadder, sadder yetf> ; My drcmned-ef rustic ninid had moved away. But m ath my window in the early morn The rooster most persistently did crow; Mosquitoes valiantly their horns did blow, , " . Holding mv sleeplessness in open scorn. The flv multitudinous seemed only born > Into my coffee-cup to rashly go; ity paper shades did rattle to and fro. , Behold me of all men the most forlorn! ,,, The corn-fields did not rustle worth a cent; The cooling shade of which the poet rants Gave me lumbago, and a ghastly rent liie barbed t< nee did give my costly pants; As through the dim and bushy woods I went, Followed me close the contumacious ants. Ye dustv, weed-grown country lanes, farewell 1 Te feather-beds : yei little rippling brooks That ripple not; ye lonely, shady nooks With ants o'errun ; ye little busy dell Malaria-tilled : ye ancient fowl: ye fell Beefsteak so madly fried: ye cawing rook, *§ And oh ! ve woman who my ducats took-- " For these. 1 bid ve all farewell: farewell II Within the covers of a book, no doubt, O country pleasures, very fair are ye; Something must poets have to lie about-- And ve are just the thing, it seems to mo; But I with mine own eyes have found yo oat, And nevermore "Will I deceived 1)6. -^Chicago Times. • TRUE LOVE TRANSPOSED. BT MINNIE A. BENNETT. ^ "I do hope they will be nice, mother, and like those city folks that came to board a£ Deiicou Smith's last summer. ^ hy, those folks thought all country people were good for was to wait on them. I'm sure if my cousins are going to be like that I don't W&nt them to come here." r The speaker, a fresh-looking, rosy- cheeked country lass, was "standing in the door of an okl-i'ashioned farm-house, hold­ ing in her hand the broom with which she 'JMH just been sweeping. ?"Nonsense. Dolly." said her mother; who was weeding the flower bed, "as if the children of your father's sister could be anything else but nice. To be sure I have never seen the young folks, but their mother used to come here when you were quite small, and a nicer woman I never saw. If Helen jyid Lester are anything like her e too sensible to look down on because we are country people." minute a handsome young fanner sleeves, with a rake over his . passed by the gate. morning. Dolly!" he called out in leasant tones. "It seems you are before I am." 0. it's earlv vet," said Dollv's mother, «but we are hurrying to get the work ont of Don't you<are enough the way, ft nephew thi> morn J pect my niece and i- did tell me, bat I it." and get acquainted , as l»e put his rake atory to going on uiBwered, and weht on r i iF;-v. $ V *• V y - if &•" * up the dusty road. By 9 o'clock every thing in»and about the farm honse was in apple- pie order. . Dressed in his Sunday- best. the farmer drove to town to meet the expected guests. Having seen him safely started on his way, Dolly ran upstairs to Bpooth^itr hair and change her dress? ,f'| suppose cousin Helen will be tall and qwe'enly and pale and slender, and no doubt she ll be shocked at my red cheeks and plumpness. I wonder waat she will think of Fred. I hope she will like him since he ,j* to be her future cousin." aiid the rosy <Aeeks grew a little rosier at the thought. When it was about time to expect her father Lack. Dolly ran down to the gate., : SEes, there they were coming, three in the .' "Here they are. mother," she called out. . and that good lady came promptly to wel- wme them. The nei^-comers had no reason to com- plain of the greeting they received from their relatives. The farmer and his wife Were 1 ndness and hospitality personified, and Dolly was cordial, though a little shy. Her cousin Helen did not at all look as die had pictured her. A wee, tiny creature with real golden hair, eyes blue as . the summer skies, and delicately fair with ft soft pink in each cheek--this was Helen Trevor. Lester was a complete contrast to his sister, for he was tall, stately, and dark as a Spaniard. "How little you are!" said Dolly, as the firls w alked arm-in-arm up the path to the onse. "I feel lite a regular giantess be­ side you." Helen laughed softly. "I have-iOften wished I- were taller," she said. "Short people are so insignficant. You are about the right height, consin Dolly." ' Once seated in the cool, shady parlor, the cousins speedily became acquainted, and it was not long before Dolly was con­ fiding to Helen the mental picture she had formed of hc-r. Helen laughed her soft laugh, which Bounded like the ripple of a tiny brook. "Th^ ida! Nothing could be farther ' from my actual appearance. Your discrip- v 'tion would apply to Lestei. though." v, In the evening Fred Armstrong called, j, ;^and was duly introduced. Dolly mentally contrasted her lover and her cousin as the -two men sat side by side. Fred was unde- . jniably handsomer, but then his hands and j ,lfeet were big, and he was dreadfully sun­ burnt. , 3:?; Helen apparently drew no comparisons. .^-She engaged Fred in conversation, and - Dolly was forced to acknowledge that here at least she had no cause to be ashamed of her future husband! Having received a superior education, he could talk well on . almost any subject, and the two were soon ^engaged in an animated discission of their favorite authors. "It seems as if Mr. Armstrong and Helen had altogether forgotten yur existence," said Lester to his pretty cousin, "Come let us walk down to the" gate and watch tluhifi'eial stars come put." • Here they were soon joined bv the othe two. "What a beautiful night!" exclaimed Fred, "but indeed I must be going. I have stayed too long alro.idy. Farmers must keep early hours, Miss Trevor." "You must come over often. Fred, and help me to entertain my "cousins. I am afiaid*0*ey will find it very dull here after ./ 'being accustomed to city life," said Dolly. "No danger of that with so pretty a cousin to be our entertainer, Lester gallantly re- . marked. *- After that first evening,Fred was more" • often at the farm house than ever. In the many rambles "the four took together, it • naturally fell about that Lester and Dolly :t were companions while Fred was left to .if entertain Helen. Truth to tell, he did not ' seem to find the task irksome. He had met many city ladies, but never one of this Helen Trevor was as beautiful, re- , highly educated and accomplished as the most fastidious could desire, and yet she was as simple and unaffected in her manner as a child. She speedily won a warm corner for her- f Siuifoc v-"' iTiViV'Hu.. - * » iiik' UiHfc: "-.ifiuc iau.^ t she insisted on. helping Dolly in all her work. Much surprised at her prefieieney in al- mdst every variety of house work, Dolly one dav asked: rt . "Why. Hejen. where did you leant to work like tljis?" . / "My mother taught me," answered Helen, enjoying her cousin's evident astonishment. "She is a good housekeeper herself, and she insists upon it that even" girl' should be taught the care of a house. She -says that I may marry a poor man, and then I would find it necessary ta know how to do my own work." * Dolly opened her brown eVes wide. "Would you marry a poor man., Helen?" "Why. yes; if I loved him." "Would you many a farmer?" "Whv not?" ,<m | "O. farmers are not the kind of men you have been accustomed to. They are not re­ fined and cultivate*! like city men." The conversation was here interrupted by Lester coming in and asking Dolly to go with him for a ride. He had evidently found this same little cousin a very pleasant companion. Accus­ tomed to the frivolity and hollow-hearted- ness of modern society, her earnest nature and practical ideas had a peculiar cliarnr for him. To make a long story short, the young man was in love with pony, and had planned this ride for the express-purpose of asking her to be his wife. She unconsciously opened the Way for him to broach the subject, by saying, as she leaned back in the buggy: •, "O. bow I wish I couid travel! It must be so nice to see all sorts of beautiful seen'- cry." 'V • "I'm thinking of. taking i^4rip down South this winter. Marry me, *i)olly, and go along." "* His companion looked up with incredu­ lous eyes., • • "Y'es. I mean it. I love you, and I want you to be my wife." , "I can't, Lester." "Why can't VQU? for me?" "It's not that," said Dolly, blushing, "but you see I am engaged to Fred Armstrong." "Why didn't you ever tell me before? I'm sure you don't act, much like engaged lovers. Why, he is with Helen almost all the time." "I don't care anything for him now." "Well, why don't you tell him so? Break off the engagement and marry me." "But the poor fellow will feel so badly." "Perhaps he will not care so"much as you imagine." said Lester, with a wise look. In the end, Dolly promised to do as ho wished. That night while Helen slept the sleep of the just, her cousiu tumbled and tossea by her side. "How can I ever tell Fred?" she thot^ht. "Poor Fred, he always loved me sol I don't suppose he w ill drown himself or lo anything desperate.-but- his heart will be almost broken. To be sure, we hiivont been -alone together much lately, but no doubt he felt badly enough about that. Well I'll ask him to release me. from my Engagement the very first opportunity I have." She had an opportunity the very next day. Helen was in bed with a headache, and Lester and she were sitting under a tree in the yard, when Fred came whistling up the path. "Hallo, Armstrong," said Lester, "Im glad you came to entertain Dolly, for I have an engagement this afternoon." and giving Dolly a significant look he was gone. Silence reigned for a few minutes after his departure. 4 "Where is your cousin, Helen?" t*p stairs with a headache." Fred didn't seem much inclined to talk, but lay on the grass with his eyes half closed. Dolly determined to introduce the subject before her courage failed, so she said: "Fred, I want to tell you something."• "Go ahead," this with considerable in­ terest. "I am afraid I made a . mistake when I promised to marry you." "Why so?" " "Because I have found that I don't love you." "I am awfully glad." "You are glad?" repeated Dolly, consid­ erably shocked. "Yes, for, you see. I love your cousin Helen, and I was wondering how would be the best way to break the news to you. I am glad you saved me the trouble. So you love one of the city cousins, and I love the gther? The matter arranges itself very satisfactorily, doesn't it?" And Dolly, although she was a little mortified to find that Fred took-the loss of her love so coolly, yet was too kind-hearted not to be glad that all parties were pleased. Two months later there was a double wedding at the old farm house, and Fred and Dolly became the happy partners of the City Cousins. ERRORS MOT VULGAR. besides being an accomplice with mnr der; but supplying opium to the habit ual user is all this and more too. vender r»m 171--47 to IIic y I V. .. y WWMAUi'iAAiir ties and demoralized himself. Thes^ are facts. Thev cannot be denied. -- ( Extract from fndia Letter in Western through the middle ages, were just the Druggist. reverse--ttoey wero scholarly. They Some Carious Belief* ud Superstitions of UM Ancients. How Artificial Teeth May Do Damage. Another agent in the combination to maintain for the man of advancing age his career of flesh-eater is the dentist. Nothing is more common at this period of life than to hear complaints of in­ dignation experienced, so it ifFkftirmed, because mastication is imperfectly per­ formed for want of teeth. The dentist deftly repairs the defective implements, and the important function of chewing the food can be henceforth performed with eomlort. Jiut, without any inten­ tion to iustify a doctrine of final causes, I would point out the significant fact that the disappearance of the masti­ cating powers is mostly coincident with the .period of life when that species of food which most requires their action--viz., solid animal fiber-- is little, if at all. required by the indi-, vidual. It is during the latter third of his career that the softer and lighter foods, such as well-cooked cere&ls, some light mixed animal $oup, and also fish, for which teeth are barely necessary, are particularly valuable and appropriate. And the man with im­ perfect teeth who conforms to nature's demand for a mild, non-stimulating dietary in advanced years will mostly be blessed with a better digestion and sounder health than the man who, thanks to his artilicial machinery, can eat and does eat as much flesh in quantity and variety as he di,d in the days of his youth. Far be it from me to undervalue the truly artistic achieve­ ment of a clever and experienced den­ tal surgeon, or the comfort he affords. By all means let us have recourse to his aid when our natural teeth fail, for the purpose of vocal articulation, to say nothing of their relation to personal appearance; on such grounds the arti- substitutes rank "among the Ifhpcessaiies of life in a civilized com­ munity. < ii|Jv let it be understood that the chief eiuloi teeth, so ..far as masti­ cation is cenceAied, has in advancing ago been to a J great extent accom­ plished, and tlmt they are now mainly 'useful for the purposes just named. Hut I cannot help adding that there are some grounds for tho belief that those who have throughout life from their earliest years consumed little or no flesh, but have lived on a diet chiefly or wholly vegetarian, will be found to have preserved the teeth longer than those who have always made flesh a prominent part of their daily food,--Sir Henry Thompson, in Popular Science Monthly. SAMCEL J. TILD-EN has had 187 books read to him during the past eighteen months. came of the habit, against which Lord Bacon was never tired of crying out, of accepting things on authority. If Aristotle or Pliny had said it, it must be true; and so monk after monk copied it out and put it in his treatise, though to tost it would have been to refute it, and the means of testing were close at hand: This method of taking things on trust was ihe bane ol the old philosophy. Get Holland's translation of the wor­ thy riiny if you want an afternoon's amusement. He will tell you that if you cut off the tip of a dog's tail within forty days from its birth, it will never go mad, and that the best of the litter is the whelp which gets its eyesight last, or that which the mother carries first into her kennel. Of the dog's faithfulness he has notable instances. It has been known to throw itself into the flames when its master's funeral^ prye was kindled. It will breed with the tiger. The Indians cross their dogs in this way. The lirst and sec­ ond crosses are too savage: the third can be trained. No matter how fierce a dog is, it will never attack you if you Bit down--Homer says the same thipg in the Odyssey-- and it may be silenced by holding to it a brand snatched from a funeral-pyre. When crOmation was given up, this recipe had to be modi- tied; and for the brand was substituted "the hand of glory," which credulous medi:rval burglars used to carry, with tlie view of keeping the watch-dog qutet. The most fighting breed was 4he Molossian, a splendid sample of which the|king of Albania gave to Alex­ ander the Great, when he was going to India. Alexander had boars, stags, and bears slipped to it,, but the dog lay motionless; whereat the king's anger was aroused that such a noble form should cover so sluggish a spirit, and he bade the dog be killed, sending a riiessage to the giver that the dog was unworthy of them both. Whereupon another like dog was sent, with the warning that the first dog's inaction was not due to sluggishness, but to contempt, such dogs being used 4o be matched against elephants and lions. Alexander at once tried him with a lion, which he slew; and then set him at an elephant, round which he circled, baying loudly, and with all his brLstles erect, slipping in and avoiding thje ele­ phant's stroke whenever he got the chance. At last the elephant grew dizzy, and falling down, was made a prey by its small-sized antagonist. Un­ like bees, and rats, and cows, and sev­ eral other creatures--including pheas­ ants, which Norfolk poachers catch with peas steeped in brandy--dogs can never be got to drink anything strong­ er than water, at least so Pliny says. Hence the Roman nickname, "pran- dium eaninum" (a dog's lunch) for a teetotal banquet. Strangely enough, about elephant?, Pliny is a good deal nearer tho truth than he is about dogs. Borrowing from Ariatotle, he explains just as accujately how they are caught and tamedr as if he was a globe-trotter, returned from Ceylon. He is right, too, in telling how certain natives wait up a tree till the last of the herd ia passing under. On this they drop, and seizing its tail in their left hand, use the other hand in hamstringing it He records the story of the Boman solkier who cut off the trunk of one of Pvrrhus' elephants, and so saved the lecrion from going down the third time before the Mace­ donian phalanx; and he tells, too, how Hannibal offered a Boman prisoner his life if he could beat an elephant in a single fight, though I hope he is wrong in adding that the Punic General sent horsemen to waylay tho man when, af­ ter coming off victorious, he had been set at liberty. He is certainly wrong jn saying that African elephants, as­ sembling in groups of fours and fives, and interlacing legs and trunks, com­ mit themselves to the waves and float over the finer pastures of Arabia; though not more wrong than Aristotle, who says that the elephant? cannot swim, but walks aqross deep rivers breathing through its uplifted trunk. A scholarly error about elephants was that of the vicar of Ottery St. Mary, father of Coleridge, the poet, who took the mammoth's bones, so often found in the south of England, to belong to elephants brought over by the Romans, quoting "Polyii nus Stratagems" to the effect that C;esar used one when forc­ ing tho passage of the Thames. "He does not mention it in his 'Commen­ taries,' thinking it would detract from the honor of his victories." It is re­ markable, by the way, that an ele­ phant's trunk and head are sculptured on one of the capitals in Ottery 'St. Mary's church. One is glad to learn from Cicero that when I'ompey had twenty elephants hunted to death in the circus to delight the people, the feeling roused was not delight, ikt pity; "the spectators thougt that thgjfe was a kinship to man, in the sagacious creatures. J'linv, who says that "wild rose: leaves, reduced to a liniment with bear's grease, doth wonderfully make liaire to grow again." tells many strange things about wolves. He be- lievejun the yeraipellis. turnskin, or Were-wolf; and he holds that a wolf's snout is a counter charm against all sorcery, and that new-wedded wives should anoint the side-posts of their houses with wolf's fat, so that no charm may have power to enter. iKlian adds to the Vjueer animal storieB set down bv Pliny. A wolf, he sav«, can not bend its back; and if it treads on the squill- flower, it at once becomes torpid; there­ fore foxes take care to strew squills in the dens of wolves.--All the Y$ar Round. " " Disreptuable Opimn Dealer*. "Let us examine this opium and mor­ phine supplying business. The miser­ able victim to the habit is certa'nlv traveling at constantly accelerating speed down the road to hell. The constant taking of the drug has at last habituated him to its influence, and now a morbid appetite craves it be­ yond all things else. He has become a liar, a thief: plunged into moral obliq­ uity under its influence. He will sac­ rifice his home, wife, children, all, to obtain the cursed stulF, and dealers in drugs, practitioners of the noble art of pharmacy, Rupply this agent that wrecks, ruins both body and soul. The pecuniary pain for accomplishing this most ignoble, damnable ruin is very small indeed, and even were it thous­ ands, still no thoughtful man of honest purposes would do it. Who among us would furnish a man poison who was avowedly intent on suicide? Furnish­ ing morphine and opium to the opium- eater is many times worse. Furnishing the means for immediate suicide, as a »rule, ia simply wronging the individual, . Hotel Tables. From an article on-Hotel-Keeping, by George lies, in , the Century, we quote the following: "When I have seen the lengthy bill-of-fare ao com­ monly furbished at large • American hotels, and thought of the waste en­ tailed, I have thought that' a reformer might succeed, by establishing, say in New York, a hotel on a new plan, one that would afford the small, good va­ riety that one finds at the smaller Lon­ don hotels of the best class--a variety well cooked and served, through the cooks' attention not being dissipated among a multitude of dishes. At two restaurants in New York, on Broadway and Fifth avonue respectively, one gets nn^excellent table d'hote dinner of this kind at the reasonable charge of $1.25, which includes a pint of vin ordinaire. The best hotels, it gives me pleasure to state, are fast moving in the direc­ tion of simplicity of bill-of-fare. In New York the leading house on the American plan does not provide its table with much more than one-half the variety of dished\one may have offered at second-rate, pretentious con­ cerns throughout the country. The dietary j too, in America is unquestion­ ably improving. Fruit and vegetables are consumed much more plentifully than before quick trails and prodigious business. Baked joints and fowl, so often parboiled and sodden, are giving place to better things inthe way of genuine roasts. The gridiron, thank goodness, has well-nigh driven the frying-pan out df the kitchen, and and wholesome broiled steaks and chops-have taken the place of the hard, greasy meats that spoiled so many digestions in the past. Pie, too, is go­ ing, and its exodus has had much to do with the genesis of fat. But hot bread and cakes still hold their own, and the baneful ice-pitcher remains, active for stomachic mischief. Porridge, how­ ever, is more easily had at a hotel in New York than in Edinboro', and, with cracked wheat, has gone abroad throughout the Union, crossed the Rockies, and visited the Pacific slope, doing good all the way. Salt fish, salt meat, and pork are now little used. Fresh fish and oysters are consumed very largely, and, exchanged for the; game of distant backwoods and prai­ ries, are carried from lake and sea to the most interior cities and towns of the continent--another blessing due to the rugged old Englishman who first put a boiler on wheels and sent it trav­ eling abont the country! Under the influence of improved diets and the custom of taking a vacation during the heated term, we are glad to learn from statisticians that the physique of our people is improving, and that they are living longer than their predecessors did. Adipose is being deposited on lanky forms, and although Brother Jonathan can scarcely yet be depicted as a plump person, he bids fair to be­ come such if he keeps on adopting common-sense measures in food and rest." (Jen. Forrest in the 'Bus. Gen. N. B. Forrest, the famous Con­ federate cavalry leader, visited New York, and one day, while riding in a Fifth avenue stage, a dude of the most pronounced typ^entered and took his seat in the corti^bpposite the General. While searching his pockets for some­ thing the youth withdrew a large en­ velope from which a number of papers slipped and were scattered on the floor. He picked up those within his reach, and turning to Forrest, who looked like "a member from the rural dis­ tricts," said in a drawling, consequen­ tial and supercilious tone peculiar to his class: "I say; can you reach those papers ?" Tho General grasped the situation in a moment, and extending his arms, re- pliod with well-assumed country pa­ tois : A "Wall, I jis kin, stranger, and that's about all." Then he drew himself up to a sitting posture, again and looked innocent, while the occupants of the stage roared, and the embarrassed dude pro­ ceeded to help himself, and as quickly as possible leave the unsympathetic company. An old gentleman, who, to judge from his shaking sides, heartily en­ joyed the scene, now changed his seat for one next to the General, and re­ marked to him: "Stranger, excuse me for the question,'but where did you come from?" "Arkansaw!" was the rejoinder. "Well," said the old man, "I've always beard that an Arkansian is a of a fellow, and now I believe it. Shake hands, stranger!" He was doubly delighted a fow moments later when, on arriving at tlre-&ew York Ho­ tel, Forrest introduced himself propria ptyaona, and invited his new-found frjiend to become his guest at dinner.-- Home Journal, Ant* In Florida* There are the big ants and the little' I ones--the big one* with rt#•- 1 nnvto body, furnished with nippers of much* keenness, who mako no Bcrnples about climbing the legs of your dinner-table, one after the other, and coming with mathematical directness, nnd a precision smacking of the drill-sergeant, towar'd you and your plato. Nor are they easily discomfited. Hoping to divert the rest from their attention to my dinner, I have now and again killed one'of these large fellow? and civilly put the carcasses in the wa> ot the others, relying on their goodness of nature and sympathetic dispositions not to give their dead comrade the cold shoulder; but, so' far from one de^d ant serving to make them forget my plate in their eagerness to carry off the body and pay all due funeral honors to it, to me it seemed that the defunct was so much additional incitement to the rest to make haste forward. Those that noticed the body approached it gingerly, touched it with their anten­ na4, nnd then set off again in a scamper, as though anxious to forget so dolor­ ous a subject as death. Now and then I dined in a little restaurant where these ants were particularly plentiful, so that I deemed it prudent to set my legs on a chair during the meal, and keep a very sharp eye on all the ap­ proaches to the different plates which held my dinner. Once I drew the at­ tention of the little black, bare-legged girl who waited on me to the creatures, asking her with some severity whence they came. "Oh, they bite, they do!" said she, pausing, with her mouth and. eyes wide open, to watch their progress along the checkered tablecloth; and then, with a shiver, she caught hold of her scanty skirty and marched out on her toes. A minute later in came the mistress of the establishment, a full­ blown "yellow" lady, of well-mellowed personal charms, and, after a hasty apology, she seized the nearest dinner- knife, and with a harsh ejaculation, "Oh, the dem nasty things!" began smashing the unfortunate ants, one after the other, with tho broad of the blade, her teeth set cruelly, and such a ferocious expression of her face that I myself might reasonably have had some personal fears had I not been a cus­ tomer. Oddly enough, however, my sympathies veered round instantane­ ously to the side of the ants, and I begged the woman to desist from her massacre, or at least to postpone it. "Oh, yes," said she, smiling now with her teeth and eyes, "it's only some gen­ tlemen as they come to," which put quite a new face on the affair, and made me almost grateful to the ants that they had had enough discrimination to choose'me for a spectator of their nat­ ural habits and vagaries. As ior the smaller ants, they seem ubiquitous. I have found them in all my boxes and bags, however tightly these were closed. They colonized in my sponge, so that twice a day I had to try a "drowning out," which was never successful. Tliey went to bed with me, and were the most irritable of bed-fellows. Every morning I brushed them from my clothes like so much dust, and yet carried a few score about with me in my daily walks. If, forget­ fully, I put a piece of chocolate or a biscuit on my chest of drawers an hour later they swarmed over it as did the inhabitants of Lilliput over Gulliver. There were cracks in my plastered wall which must have harbored thous­ ands of tlfe animals, and I have watched their never-ceasing procession toward the floor or the ceiling, like a black thread suspended down the side of the room, at all hours of the day.-- All the Year Bound. An Ungratelul Mule. Si Jackson, a colored granger, living on Onion Creek, was going about grumbling and growling, when it oc­ curred to Macbeth Simons, a white neighbor, to ask him what was the mat­ ter. "Dis heah am a nice 'rangement wid my mewel." "What is the matter with your mule ?" "What's de matter ? I fed hum eb- ery day during de whole ob last murnf when I didn't hab nuffin' for him to do, and he ato and ate, as much as. he wanted ter." "Well, what has he done?" "What has he done? Yesterday mawnin', when I went ter de stable ter harness him up and put him ter plow- in', dar he was dead, sah. Y'es, dead as Jupiter Ctcsar, sah. Dat mewel has a Rood time ob hit. I wouldn't mind TOing a mewel myself under dem ar' auspices."-- Texas Sittings. Failure of the Installment Plat:. Little Mamie Snickers, the • only child of Judge Snickers, of Austin, wanted somebody to plav with her. She said: "Mamma, I want a little brother. The little girl next door has got a nice new one. Why can't I have one?" Mrs. Snickers shook her head donbt- fully. "Why don't you, buy one, mamma?" • "I haven't got any money right now." "But, mamma, you didn t have to pay any money when you got the piano and the sewing machine. You pay a little every month by installments. Can't you get a baby now, and pay for him by installments?" On reflection Mrs. Snickers decided that the installment plan would not work.--Texas Si/tings. THE man who never swears i« a saint. The man who never wants to swear |s a hjpoerit* Getting Ahead of tfhosts. The favorite "beat" of the ghost is usually the spot where lie died. Hence, in order to keep him at least from the house, the Kaffirs carry a sick man out into the open air to die, and the Maoris used to remove the sick into sheds. If a Kaffir or a Maori died before he could be carried out the house was tabooed and deserted. There aro traces in Greece, Rome, and China, of this cus­ tom of carrying dying persons into the open air. But in case the ghost should, despite of all precautions, make his way back from the grave, steps were taken to barricade the house against him. Thus, in some parts of Russia and East Prus­ sia an ax 01* a lock is laid on the threshold, or a knife is hung over the door, and in Germany as soon as the coffin is carried out of the house all the doors and windows are shut, whereas, so fong as the body is still in the house, the windows (and sometimes the doors) are left constantly open to allow the soul to escape. In some parts of En­ gland every bolt and lock in the house is unfastened so that the ghost of the dying man may fly freely away. • But if primitive man knew how to bully, he also knew how to outwit the ghost. For example, a ghost can only find his way back to tho house by tho way by which he left it. This little weakness did not escape the vigilance of* our ancestors, and they took their measures accordingly. The coffin was carried out of the house, not by the door, but by a hole made for the pur­ pose in the wall, and the hole was dhrefully stopped up as soon as the body had been passed through it, so that when the ghost strolled quietly back from the grave, he found to his surprise that there was no thorough­ fare. The credit of this ingenious de­ vice is shared equally by Greenlanders,, Hottentots, Bechuanas; Samoleds, Ojibways, Aigonkins, Laosians, Hin­ doos, Tibetans, Siamese, Chinese, and Fijians. These special openings, or "doors of the dead," are still to be seen in a village near Amsterdam, and they were common in some towns of Central Italy, as Perugia and Assisi. A trace of the same custom survives in Thurin- gen, where it is thought that the ghost of a man who has been hanged will re* turn to a house if the body be not taken out by a window instead of the door. The Siamese, not content with car­ rying the dead man out by a special opening, endeavor to make assurance doubly sure by hurrying him three times round the house at full speed--a proceeding well calculated to bewilder the poor soul in the collin. The Arau- canians adopt tho plan of strewing ashes behind tho coffin as it is being borno to the grave, in order that the ghost may not be able to find his way back.-- Contemporary Review. Leaders or*Fa<hiott. "Who is the most richly-dressed wo­ man in this hotel?" I asked in a cer­ tain big house. "The wife of so-and-so, the gambler," was the reply. "Who is the most beautiful?" "Miss Such-or-sUch, the actress, who eloped with What-you-call-him last winter." "Who keeps the fastest horse?" "T'other fellow, the pool-seller." Now those are the points that, em­ bodied in society reports, would make the department worth reading.-- Brooklyn Eagle. Germs of Disease. Life in this world is, as it were, a balancing or seesaw between different rest--a cycle of actions which are to a certain extent dependent on each other. , The molecules of the grain of whdat in part help to construct the muscle cells in a man's arm, and in part fur­ nish fuel or motive power to these cells, while the excreted products of thele cells ih the form of carbonic acid, urea, eta, and finally the products of the de­ composition of these cells, may go to construct a new grain of wheat. But to enable the vegetable to make use of the animal cell as food, the lat­ ter must be split up into simpler com­ binations, and this is effected by micro­ organisms pf various kinds. The great majority of these minute beings are harmless to man so long as 1hev are confined to his skin and alimentary canal; in fact, every one carries mii- lions of them on and within himself, and it is doubtful whether he could properly digest his food without their help. There are, however, some forms of these little granules and rods, or micrococci and bacteria, which are not so innocent and harmless, but which, on the contrary, produce disease and death in many of those to whose sys­ tems they gain admittance. Some of these disease germs multi­ ply only within the bodies of living ani­ mals, as, for instance, those which give rise to sjpall-pox and scarlet fever; they retain their vitality for a time when thrown off in excretions; but they do not increase in number until tlsey gain access to living tissues, and hence the diseases which they cause are propagated by contagion only. Other disease germs multiply, so far as we know, almost exclusively outside the living body, and produce*their ef­ fect on man not by growing within him, but by poisoning him with their products, as common yeast may be said to be the cause of delirium tremens through tke agency of the alcohol which it produces. Malaria is a type of this class. A third kind multiply both within and without the living body, and some of these appear to especially multiply and flourish in human excreta. As vet we know very little of the life history of the disease germs, or as to how thev produce their effects; we are not even certain as to whether they are distinct separate species or whether they may not be some of the common micro-or­ ganisms which by over-feeding or otherwise have become abnormal, mi­ croscopic monsters as it were, produc­ ing evil instead of good. What we do know is that a very mi­ nute quantity of excreta from a'case of cholera or of typhoid fever may, when introduced into the alimentary canal of a healthy person, produce in that person'a disease similar to the one from which the germ originally came; and we also have good reason to believe that if a few such germs fall into a mass of excreta, as in a cess-pool, they may ' under certain conditions multiply very rapidly and render the whole mass of filth infectious, so that any portion ot it will be capable of conveying the dis­ ease. Their action is closely analogous to that of yeast, and the diseases which are supposed to be due to such action are known as the zymotic or ferment diseases. Hence comes one great danger of re­ taining or storing in the vicinity of hu­ man habitations quantities of organic matter suitable for the nourishment of snch organisms, for the channels through which such collections may be­ come dangerously inoculated are so numerous and, in the present state of our knowledge, so impossible to guard against, that casks of powder or cases of dynamite would be really safe neigh­ bors. Sewage is not only a source ofLdanger in this way, but also through the prod­ ucts of its decomposition. The most important of these in this connection are the gases and effluvia evolved in putrefaction, such as hydrogen sul­ phide, ammonium sulphide, carbon dioxide, and certain organic vapors of very compelx constitution, chiefly characterized by unpeasant^odors. When concentrated, as in old cess­ pools or vaults, these may produce suf­ focation and almost immediate death, or great postration, violent vomiting and purging, convulsions and death in from one to two days. The circumstances are rare which produce such effects as these; usually the gasos are greatly diluted before being breathed, and the effects are loss marked. Constant exposure to such air impairs health gradually, but distinctly, espec­ ially in infants and children, the symptoms produced being loss of ap­ petite, languor, slight headaohe, etc.-- J. S. Billings, M. V., in Harper'* Magazine. Distinguished rongreNHlonal (.'lit1*!-. In lH.r>l, another celebrated., man visited us. He was Louis Kn mutli, tho Hungai'ian patriot. Tho exiled chief­ tain was tendered a formal reception by each House of CongrosH on separate days, and the crowd was so great in the Senate Chamber (now the Supreme Court room) that the newspaper re­ porters voluntarily relinquished their seats in order to make room for tho ladies. This act of gallantry was deemed so remarkable that special mention was made of it in the official record of debates. The Congressmen also gave Kossuth an elegant banquet, at which General Cass, Daniel Webster, and other dis­ tinguished statesmen made addresses. It was at this banquet that Kossuth de­ livered the speech which opened with the famous parallel between the Senate of Rome and the American Congress. I was also present in the House of Representatives on the occasion of the welcome to a foreign guest, and this time it was a King. In 1871 the King of the Hawaiian Islands visited this country. The dominion of that mon­ arch is not very extensive; still he was regarded as a distinguished personage. When ho came to Washington, both Houses resolved to accord him a recep­ tion. It was not so very much of a ceremony, but in one respect it was entirely novel. According to the re­ marks of Speaker Blaino, King lvalua- kaua was tho first reigning monarch that had ever set foot on our shores; hence his arrival created quite a stir. A year or so later, the Emjjyeror of Brazil paid us a visit; and since that time wo have opened the doors of hospitality to other titled folk*. But King Kaluakaua is entitled to the credit of haviug set them an example. --From "Among the Law-makers," \>y Edmund Allen, in St. Nicholas. Lots of Sand. "No, sir!" yelled the grocer, as he shook his fist at a retreating customer; "he can't bulldoze me. I won't have it. No one ever called me a coward," ^That's so," remarked a friend, ad­ miringly; "Every one says you have lotopf sand."--Oraphic. PITA ASP POIST. If* ASHTNCCVG too much--the abti<v»ndm<*' BBICK layer's level--three fingers and a half. AN unwilling witness--one brought into court on a bench warrant. AN appeal for a new trial--applying for divorce.--Stockton Maverick. • SOPHRONIA asks: "Do poets aver commit suicide?" Alas! no.--Boston Courier. * TRT to overtake joy while sprrow is doing its best to overtake you.--White Hall Times HUMOR is gcod enough in A news­ paper column, but its the very deuce when it gets into the blood.--Barbers* Gazette. A MAN in California has two pairs of ears. E he knows on wuich side his bread is buttered he'll remain sinffle.-- St. Paul Herald. SINGULAR, isn't it, that you never see half as many baldheaded men in the front seats of a church as you do in ttfe front seats of a variety theater. --Boston Courier. WHAT is the difference between the window of an attic room and rheum­ atism in the knee? One is an attic room window and the other is a rheu­ matic pain.--Carl Pretzel's Weekly. A COTEMPORARY asks: "What is the difference between a man and a pitch­ er ?" At times the difference is very : striking. The man may be full, and the pitcher empty.--Norristoivn Her­ ald. IT is _now supposed that Macbeth was talking lo a man who sold straw­ berries by the box when he made his famous exclamation, "Damned be he ' who cries, 'Hold, enough."--Merchant Traveler. THE inhabitants of Burmah worship idols made of brass. Just think of the deluded creatures bowing down until" their stomachs touch the ground every time they meet a book agent.--New­ man Independent. A MEDICAL paper says there are fif­ teen different kinds of headaches. On looking over the list, we fail to find the 5th of July headache, the day-after- the-picnic headache, and several oth­ ers. Any of them are bad enough*-- Peck's Sun. GENT (to boy who had been repeat­ ing, as truth, a pretty big story): "I'm ' afraid you are too credulous. You must not believe everything people tell you." Boy :"Oh, I don't. Just tell me something, for instance, to try me."--- Texas Si/tings. • NOTHING paralyzes a deacon so much as to see a man dropping a ten dollar bill into the collection box. Particu­ larly when the deacon is a tailor who cannot collect the bill lor the suit which the generous man is wearing when he is contributing his mite.-- Fall River Advance. "I DON'T know what to make of my wife. She says she is feeling well, but I think she must be sick," remarked Jarby as he met old Jonas. "What ap­ pears to be the trouble ?" asked Jonas, • very solicitously. "Well, she hasn't asked me ior any money for the last three "days. There's something wrong." --Brooklyn Times. "WELL, Mr. Sanctus! what did you think of that affray between the dea­ con and the chorister last evening? I don't know how many laps there are to a mile around those aisles, but they made uncommon good time around them in their scrimmage." "Indeed they did, and I was forced to concede what I had never before been led to believe of them--they oer- tainly proved themselves to be very active members of the church."--Yon- ker's Gazette. OVER HER WORK. Oh, I stood besido her and watched her sew-- 'Twas a year, a month and a week ago; But my memory holds with subtle power The fallacious sweetness of that hour. When, with curious Btitcli the soft-oyed jilt Wrdught this heart of mine in her crozy-quilt. While over tho work was her head bent low, And I watched the silken devices grow, Then I wooed my love in such gentle speech As I thought was surest lior heart to reach; And nobody knows the castles I built, All for her and mo and the crazy-quilt. . She raises those wonderful tender eyes Now toward my face in a vague surprise. On her cheek a flutter of softest pink ; .And the scattered silks on tho carpet sink, Her lap is a tangle of gloss and gilt-- Oh, It's all unheeded, the crazy-quilt! And straightforward splines in that wistful way The light of thoso wonderful eyes o' gray, The sweet lips a-tremble, my heart beats fast; The prize of my patience is come at last: "When it's quite worn out (I wither! I wilt!), "May I havo your cravat for my crazy-quilt?" •--Puck. Trades for American Boys. The trades in our country, of late years, have been almost monopolized by foreigners. The American boy, how­ ever, when he does take a trade, goes slraight on to the top of the ^i|i}er. It seems as if our boys would rather be fourth-rate lawyers, or physicians, than earn their living by working with their hands. Oiily .he other day I read in a New York nf arspaper of a young law­ yer in a distant city, whom 1 knew some years ago when I resided in that section of tho country, who literally starved to death. He made scarcely nnv money, was too proud to tell of his want, lived as long as he could on crackers and water, and was found one day in his office, dead#from lack of nourishment. He should nevef* have entered the legal profession, for he had no ability in that direction. As a farmer or a mechanic he might have lived a long, useful, and successful life. No boy, of course, should enter a trade unless he feels himself fitted for it; but, on the other hand, he should not, it seems to me, let the false pride against manual labor, which now pre­ vails to such a wide extent in our coun­ try, prevent him from endeavoring to do better work with his hands than in his inmost thoughts he knows he can do with his head.-- George J. Manson, in St. Nicholas. Russian Conscripts. Russian conscripts are rejected if their chests do not measure at least half as much as their stature. Severe starvation and other devices are re­ sorted to by the peasants to reduce themselves to avoid conscription, and in one district of Bashkirs, whore 150 men out of ,500 were disqualified on this- account, it was found several month afterward that they measured even more than necessary.--Foreign letter. >- Not llxiiclly What He Meant f© Say. Browu--"Oh, how do, Black! I'm al­ most ashamed of myself for not calling before. But .I've put if off and'put it off, until it did seem that I never would call." Black--"Don't mention tt, my dear follow. You are very Kind, I'm sure."--Bos ton Tra nscrip t. HE is a wise man that can avoid an evil; he is a patient man that can en­ dure it; but he is a valiant man that can conquer it "HORSES, beware I This is a fence wire," is a sign near San Andreas, CaL THK best luur preserver ia oelibacy. . M-v - -•m. Jts.