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• ' **' 'F) 3 i mw. % , •"**' "*» ii ' - \ -„ - r -* V • V : A- *' „ "..i OK TEE COASt. ,<- *v Ifcf lftd* boy. bewicwlfce, ' ..^"^«* - tmlrm ifio wi»h bftjish tarmt andMMNI ToWhor«' the snow-clad hill# arise ,, And'rockless urchins swiftly coart. Wy not ? Again I am a boy, his brother, not his aire; ^ ' tlla steel-Blicd tied oar mutual toWM ps wishes echo my dralre. ' ' Dolrn sweeping flight*, mith merry checra wf* fly, as BWSIIOWS skim (Jie shore. I throw away full thirty years, And|X am ton again; no more. Mr boyish pride comes hack to me, My boyhood's skill and courage, too; ' Z Md the jirtnoe etaild back and sea The way that papa used to da Alone I climb the highest hill " Abd poise the sled upon its brow; In wonder lost the prince stands stflt Aid listens for my warning "Now!" •*. •*• fi: Swifter than wingod thought I fly, , And when mv flight is nearly through, A "Thank you inarm* lifts me on high, '*?•: Into the air a mile or two. And down that dizzy reeling track, "Like twenty men and sleds I go, While up mv legs and down my back Packs fifteen thousand pounds of mow* I crawl out to the ltcht a;ain And feebly sbaro the prince's fun; For something tolls my buzzing brain That I am really forty-one. And ao I say, so late it's grown. That I must hurry home to tea; ' £ >'i While Hobble, coasting down alone, Shouts ""Fraid catl 'Fraid cat!" after ma, ifi'V" *~BrooMyn EagU. ; • • %K, ' THE REGISTERED MIDGET. »V«A. Romance of the Mail Service. ii*" I " . , B Y K A T H A N D . t ' R N E B . * While-sojourning in Mesilla, Nsw Mex- • lco, not a great while ago. I was duly iih- ; , v pressed, as doubtless many had boeu before '1;'•* ®ae, by the singular beauty of La Caramita, *i i * 4|s she was still pleasantly known through­ out that wild inountaiuon9 section, or, f Speaking more properly, Mrs. Carmen Mc- iti: j)onald. the young Mexican wife of Jack " - SlcDonald, the postmaster there. With a beautiful baby in her arms, and a ;; 3'i^garette between her pearly teeth, she was -•>. ^carelessly swinging in a hammock on the piazza of her hnsbaud'a country store, one «ndof which was devoted to the postoffice --business; and. playing at her feet, was an arid, wizen-faced dw«rf of a boy not much lugger than Gen. Tom Thumb when the latter was at his smallest best, and weigh- Perhaps, less than twenty pounds. . - "Chita, or Chitiquita. that little dwarf, is La Oaraaaitn's child by her first husband, Mannelo Vasquez. the Mexican brigand, once the terror of these parts," said a friend to whom I applied for some information re­ garding the lovely woman. "You'd hardly •oppose it, bat the little fellow is over 16 .^jfean old." • .-s-.1 "Indeed, I would not," said I, "for the pother herself "hardly looks more than '22." "Ah, she carries. her years well, espe- , cially for a Mexican, and ret La Caratnita, or Meeta, as she was once familiarly known fcere, cannot be short of 30. Perhaps her second great love for honest Jack, the pres­ ent postmaster, tended to preserve the itloom of youth in her c«|se, At all. events, 4 t» was an overmastering, all-absorbing pas- --^on, even for one of her volcanic race, and, ; ^•trangely enough, it was through Chita's j|Mron>eatality,ia passing himself off for a v *. jgegistered letter, that she at last won Jack | McDonald's big heart in return for her de- ^otion." Instantly I was all eagerness to know more, but at this moment La Carainiia _ roused herself and gazed shrewdly toward ^ I^ the and of the piazza whete iny friend and X' I were seated. . "Ah-, 8eaor Martino," «he cried, langh- ;f • 'Ingly shaking her pretty forefinger at ns ,"you - - * • lire telling your a in if) o something about me. t cannot overhear you, but your eves are ..telltales." • , > " "I do not deny it, Mrs. McDonald," re- - ^|>Iied Mr. Martin, mjr fnVndr forthwith {presenting me to the< h*dy, while honest ts„ 5ack himself at this juncture peeped out at '-iiB from behind his official pigeon-holes &.£vith a quizzical grin upon his broad face. "But I was only trumpeting Chitiquita's heroism, together with your own, in con­ nection with Jose Garcia and his mail, robbers, and, if you've no objection, I prS^ pose to tell him the whole story." "Carambaf Why should I object?" said vat the pretty woman, elevating her eyebrows . • as she glided off the hammock,and snatched " tip the iittle Chitiquita with her disengaged , , liand as if he were a doll. "But it is such .*.< Tftn old one that you can't expect me to over­ hear it again, senor." And. still laughing ' •.•***• <tlarminglv, she disappeared. Mr. Martin then went on with the details ©f the romantic story he had already given ipe each an itching to hear, and which I ^ prefer to tell in my own words. : It was white the present railroad connec­ tions were still building, and while Jaek -McDonald was driving the mail stagebe- Ifween Mesilla and El Paso, that he became Acquainted with La Caramita, who was llhen keeping a little wine and cigar shop at tian Pedro, a busy construction station in •4he mountains just out of Mesilla, where Ihe coach stopped for its first relays oil the 4OWQ trip and the last on the way up. The beautiful widow--for Vasquez, her . Jrasband, had been deservedly hanged two 1 years previously--had fallen violently in love with Driver Jack at their first meeting, fmt, notwithstanding the woman's beauty #nd general attractiveness, Jack had been tovokinglv backward in responding to the nder tlame. La Caramita's personal character was beyond reproach, but then there was no denying that the black shadow $f her first husband's infamous antecedents jind ignominious death still hung around i Iter and her mite of an offspring--then j jounger wad even more atomical than at ihe present writing,--and though many '•% good-ma» and true ia ihe territory would ve %Hkel nothing better than,to marry er, Jfcck, who had left a highly respectable aother and 6isters behind him in Illinois, «hose to deem iier not quite good enough for him, though secretly in love with her from the first. But one evening, when Jack was fooling around the stage stables, La Caramita fcrought him a bundle of her best cigars, «id evidently wanted to be more friendly than usual. Jack was feeling discouraged. His coach had been "held up" three times within a year--the last time within the past month-- and, though through no fault of his, he felt that the name of the thing reflected in a measure upon him and stood in the way of , jhis promotion. » w V "%re» Senor " "aid the woman, i"i,t ' " ~haudinp: him the cigars. "They are j)uros ||: U --genuine Havanas. Smoke one, of them tto away, for you are feeling bad, and ^ U ,'wallt cheering up." fey./? Jack thankfully accepted the cigars lighted one, and fell to fondling Chita, who ^ " had come trotting at her heels. m- ' "You are right nl>out my feeling blue, Meeta," said he, moodily. "Who wouldn't ' under the circumstances? Blast it all! I wouldn't so much mind being held up bv Garcia aud his fjaug, if I could only put the troops on their track," t "Ah! and that you can't do? ; "No." •Yet Jose's fastness is somewhere in the Sierra Madies." •Somewhere, to be sure, Meeta, but just < * "wt®re > w hJ"•i£ I only knew that, it would < *0?" be the making of me!" ; ' Meeta's splendid eyes fairly sparkled. & "How, Senor Jack?" <V, - * * "Why, don't yeu see? I could pilot a squad there fr< m the fort, and have every thieving, murdering hound of 'em frilled or •captured." 4 And what then?* * ' " ^What then? Why, bless your snapping bright eyes, Meeta, I would be made the s. legnlar mail agent quick as a wink, and, $0 .1^ enough, postmaster as soon as the road jg opened." #v . "1 can find out for you, Senor Jack. What will you do for me in return?" Is* -A *4' JaXL'- She spoke with suppressed excitement, looked at her eagerly. The emotional of her face told plainly enough the ' one reward that was prvcious to ht r heart. Jack was grave and thoughtful for » mo­ ment. and then, releasing tlie midger from between his knees, he impulsively 8 ized the young woman's hands, and drew her to­ ward him. ! "Electa," said he, "there's no denying that I love you, for you must have seen it all along. AVell, Uleetn, do this service for me, aud I'll--I'll forget the past--I mean the past of 4hat bad greaser lot that once had to do with you." The girl's animated face betrayed her satisfaction, but she discreedy disengaged herself. "Now or uerer, Senor Jack," said she. in a business-like tone. "Yourregistered let­ ter pouch to-morrow will be a heavy ont\ no?" It will," said Jack, "for the construction hands were paid off to-day, and will be sending a pile of money home by the Southern mail." "So I thought. Shall you have a guard?" "No: not even a passenger, so far as I know." ^ "Good! Buen4} Senor Jack! Then you will be held up on your next trip." "What?" "Por Dios, I know; and doubtless at (he same place as heretofore--just out of the Hornitas, at the break in the Sierra Madre trail." By Jupiter, Meeta, you're a brick!" cried Jack. "Forewarned, forearmed! I'll have a corporal and six troopers hid away among the mail bags, and then { " "No, Senor Jack, you'll go alone, and be duly held up and robbed, as of old." Jack stared, but she went on hurriedly: Dont I know Jose Garcia of old, Senor Jack? MaldHo'didn't he give away poor Vasquez to the hanaman? And isn't this his style?--'lTp with your hands,--you! That'll do. Out with that registered mail bag! Good enough, but how heavy it is this time! Buenos ditix, Jack!' Then a volley of pistol shots in the air, by way of a part­ ing joke, and off they are to the mountains, with tbe fat pouch over Jose's saddle-bow, to be ripped up and examined at leisure. Isn't that about the way of it, Senor Jack?" "Almost to a hair," growled Jack, admir­ ingly, but also half-maddened at the hu­ miliating recollections she revived. "By jingo, Meeta, one would fancy you had been through it all! But you're out in one particular. . "In which one?" "About their commenting on the heft of the pouch. 'It'8 just the other way. They mostly curse about the lightness of it." "To-morrow it will be different, Senor Jack, and you must pull a particularly long face when they comment on the heaviness of Ihe pouch." "Why so?"" "Because Chita, here, will be inside of it, along with the registered letters." ^ " Jack first looked blank, and then radi­ ant. "Holy smoke, Meeta, but you area brick!" he exclaimed, slapping his thigh. "But .hold on. Can it be made to work?" "To a charm, Senor Jack. Leave it all to me. Only stop for Chita and me at Three Cedars, after you take on the mail." "What, you too, Meeta?" "Por Diody yes! Never fear, but I'll make myself so small as to cheat eveu Jose Garcia's gaze. Besides, haven't I even more than Chita at stake?" She blushed beautifully, and Jack would have caught her to his breast, but that she evaded him. "Not now, Senor Jack," said she, softly. "I shall earn that first* and then it mu3t be purily's own. and foievernlore! You will follow my instructions?" "Willi? Will fire burn, or a light heart jump? Not a word to even the mail agent, eh?" "Not a syllable." "And you'll be wanting the key to the registered pouch?" , "Yes, and afterwards a knife-slit in the leather for Chita to breathe through." "It's a go," said Jack, drawing a long breath. "It'll State prison me if we fail-- bursting the mail pouch, you know--but I'll run the risk." "Bneno, Senor Jack, and we shall not fail. One thing more. 'Pache Pete, the scout, starts for the fort to-night, no?" ' "Yes." "And the fort is only four miles from the Hornitas, where you are to be held up?" "Yes." "Send word to Major White, then, to be *©B-the lookout for Chita before sundown." "It shall l>e done, Meeta; but I still don't quite understand." "Caramba! don't be stupid, Senor Jack. By that time Chita will have been earned off ty the robbers' fastness in the Sierra Madres in the mail bag. will have seized his chance to cut his way out unperceived, and will have carried the ground-plan of the fastness to Major White. Why. by the time we get to the Mcscarilla Station, south of the Madres, the Major and his squad ought to be there, with such of the villains as may not have teen killed dragging at their horses' tails! Maldicion! and may Jose Garcia be one of those last! He gave away poor Vasquez to the hangman, and--" "Yts, yes,"hastily inteirupt?d Jack, who bore any reference to La Caramita's earlier antecedents with but a surly grace. "I now understand perfectly, Meeta." It was accordingly so arranged. The pre­ liminary steps were successfully taken and on the folio wing morning, after Jack Mc­ Donald had driven his four spanking bays down the wild mountain mail road past Three Cedars, La Caramita was snugly stowed away among the mail-bags behind him, with Chitiquita, the midget, duly locked up and ticketed in the registered letter pouch, which thereby presented a bulkier aspect than usual, but in no other way would have excited the slightest suspicion as to its Con­ tents. Though not over-bright in intellect, the dwarf was the soul of obedience, besides possessing the instinct of a sleuth-hound, and there was no doubt that he would fol­ low out his instructions to the letter, if all went well. And the plot did succeed to a charm. As predicted by Meeta--and Jack was never inquisitive as to her source of in­ formation--Garcia and his cutthroats swooped upon the coach at> the Hornitas cut-off in the Sierra Madre trail, and were off agaiu like the wind with the fat regis­ tered letter pouch in their claws. "C'arajo, Jack, but this is a solid one!" had been the chief bandit's laughing com­ ment, as he threw the pouch over the pom­ mel of his saddle before saying good-bye. "What the deuce! Are the railroad boys sending home gold in their letters, instead of greenbacks?" "Blast your eyes!" yelled Jack, simulat­ ing an unusual exasperation; "jou'll find out if the cavalrymen who are following us only overtake you, and be hanged to you! This day's work will lose me my place, sure as a gun!" A mosking laugh was his reward, as the robbers spurred off into the chaparral. "liueno, Senor Jack!" said La Caramitaf scrambling out froln among the mail-bags, as Jack whipped his four-in-hand to their best paces. "That yarn will insure the pouch remaining unopened till their secret den is reached,Tbtit it nr.ght have earned you a-bullet, just for quietness' sake." "Right you are, Bright Eyes!" said Jack, smiling all over. "But there ara always big risks to be taken, if a big prize is to be gained." "Ah, don't I know that?" murmured she, "and am I not taking risks enough?" And her pale, cheek and quivering lip told J ack more plainly than wor.ls how the peril into which she had cast her dwarf of a child was gnawing at her youthful but motherly heart. But everything was a success. Jack had hardly explained his fourth en» counter with the stage robbers to the mail agent and the lot of hangers-on at the Mes- carilla Station, before there was a great shout from the cross-trail; and then, a mo­ ment later, Major White came galloping up to the station, with Chita before hiin, chattering and grinping like a monkey in tt hippodrome, and followed closely by his troopers, carrying Jose Garcia and three of his men, bound like wild beasts in their midst, the rest of the robbers having been slain in their tracks at • the edge of tho mountain hiding-place to which the midget i had piloted the troops, aftyc (IfifiHyK lijfl way unperceived out of the registered letter pouch. Yes; und the last soldier in the cavnlgade was bringing up the rear with tho contents of the stolen pouch itself in his arms, so that not onlr had the wonderful ruse succeeded in bringing the robbers to justice, but the registered mail itself, was saved to the postottice, and all was well. Then there was a grateful scream as La Caramita snatched the little Chita to her bosom; the gallant Major was unstinted in his praises and explanations; nnd Jack McDonald and La Caramita, not forgetting the midget's share, were deservedly the idols of the territory for many a day there­ after. Jack and La Caramita were married on the day following their return to Mesilla. His rapid promotion in the mail service followed. Meeta has made him a most ex­ cellent wife, their baby is the rose-and-lily miniature of honest Jack, and, as the latter is now a man of consequence in the terri­ tory, there are doubtless many years yet in store for the young couple. LOST RIVERS. Sftt Boardingr* House Pie. Some years ago I made the acquaint­ ance of a pie that I shall not soon for­ get. It produced a marked impression upon me, but that was more than I was able to do with it. I mot it at a cheerful boarding-house in which I posstxl a few happy months with a half dozen con­ genial spirits of tho newspaper world. The whole-souled editress of the board­ ing-house brought it on the table one day, wearing at the same time a bright and beautiful smile, such as she seldom could afford to wear at meal time. One of the happy spirits of our social board took up the pie-knife in a graceful, easy way and essayed to cut the pie which had been placed" before liim. It had been a long time between pies in that house, and tho pie carver was watched with general interest. There was; fear that lie would select the big­ gest piece for himself; that was the reason we watched with general inter­ est. He made one attempt to cut the pie and then his face grew sad. The smile that he wore in the beginning flickered for a moment and then went out, and with a deep-drawn sigh he pushed the pie to the next man. We each tried to cut it and then gave it up in the same way, and passed it along on its sad and silent journey. It was the toughest thing I ever tried to put a knife into. It come out of the contest with few scars. It was plainly intended for a long siege. At last the procession proceeded sadly out of the dining-room without pie. Well, that pie continued to come on the table every day during the next week, but its old acquaintances did not again seek to pry into its mysteries. We did not care to disturb its repose. One or two new boarders came in and at their first appearance attempted to cut it, but after a moment they desisted. After a stroke at it with the knife they seemed to change their minds about wanting pie. But it was different with a red-nosed boarder from Howlville by the name of Briggs. He hail an eye that denoted great strength of purpose and a breath that sometimes whispered of gin. He seemed to have a great thirst for pie, and when he pulled our old acquaintance toward him with a jocular air the congregation looked at one another with' a smile that indicated perfect faith in the knowledge of the resistive force of that pie. Briggs sawed down on it in a sort of. the-old-guard- dies-l)ut-never-surrenders way, but he didn't make more than a scratch. For a moment he seemed to be nonplussed. But he was not a man to be easily dis­ couraged by & little thing like a pie with a boiler iron crust. He was not a great man every day, but was a man who could be great on an occasion like this. In a voice of much firmness he said: "Boys, follow me!" and taking his pie under his arm he started for the wood­ pile. The ax fell with a dull, sickening thud, and we pressed forward to look at the familiar old pie. There was a great gash in it, where the ax had struck, and one glance brought upon us the crushing conviction that the maker of that pie had basely deceived us. It was nothing but crust. There was a deep silence as we looked upon the severed parts of the old pie and then at one another. At such times words seem inadequate to express oui thoughts. After a moment we turned sadly away from the scene and there was not a dry eve in the congregation. --Scott Jikty. in Detroit Free Frew*-- A Bit of Realism. This simple little tale, a bit of real- isio; is founded on "Howells* Titles If not particular as to the chronolog­ ical order, William Dean Howells' writings might be memorized as fol­ lows: At least it would be only "A Modern Instance," if "Dr. Breen's Practice" in the "Three Villages" should lead to "A Chance Acquaint­ ance" with "The Lady of the Aroos­ took and if he should take upon him­ self "A Fearful Responsibility," "Their Wedding Journey" would be "A Fore­ gone Conclusionafter which they would naturally take.their "Italian Jour­ neys"--through "Tuscan Cities," avoid­ ing "The Garroters"--during the "In­ dian Summer," in "The Parlor Car" or "The Bleeping Car," of course using "The Register" at the hotel stopping- places, at each of which they would take "A Day's Pleasure." They might chance to meet their friends "Abraham Lincoln," "Rutherford B. Hayes," or "Colonel Silas Lapliam." This would all be followed naturally enough by "Venetian Life," where the "Doctor," or the "Lady," or both, would make their "Suburban Sketches," and write their "Poems," or "Choice Autobiogra­ phy Essays." All this would. but pre­ lude their farewell to earth, via "The Elevator" to the "Undiscovered Coun­ try." Would this supposition be "A Counterfeit Presentment," or ""Out of the Question?" How-ells could it be? --Harper'a Magazine. Artificial Leather. Artificial leather is, according to a re­ cent French invention, made by a cot­ ton fabric, the warp threads of which are very lightly twisted, and the weft threads of which are finer than usual This fabric is serrated on both sides and immersed in a preparation consist­ ing of a decoction of linseed, rabbit-skin glue, linseed oil and coloring matter When the tabric is impregnated with this preparation it is stretched upion a polished zinc plate and laid upon a steam-heated hot plate, the drying being continued until the aqueous portion is entirely evaporated. It is claimed that this artificial leather is an excellent im­ itation of the real thing. Tho Tributaries of a Stream that Does Not Kxlnt. There is one remarkable case in New Mexico where the lost tributaries are plentiful but tho main stream does not exist. This is in a valley which lies between the Rio Grande; and Pefcos Rivers. The valley begins near the Sandia Mountains, and is shut out from the streams on each side by broken mountain chains. It is a well-defined valley, not very broad, but having a length of perhaps 300 miles. Flowing into it, especially on the western side near the upper end, an,d on the eastern side toward the lower, are numerous lost tributaries; but the primary stream has so completely disappeared that its bed can onlv be found at intervals. In this vtuley lie the ruins of the Gran Quivira, the existence of which is not only attested by the ruins them­ selves but also by the accounts of the earliest Spanish settlers. The records of the Spanish up to the latter part of the seventeenth century, when they were expelled by the Indians, are in­ complete, as the Indians destroyed all that was left behind. That the Gran Quivira waj well known to them, how­ ever, is shown by the fact that t^e most prominent ruin there is th at of a church. Therei's now no water for many miles from the ruins. That there must have been once Can well be granted, for no large city would have been built by human beings at a distance of fifteen or twenty miles from a scanty water supply. The valley may be named from this city, and would then be the Gran Quivira Valley. About half way down the valley it is broken by a long, narrow, thin layer of lava, now much broken up, and making a desolate re­ gion, locally known as the Mal-pais, or "bad land." The crater from which the lava was derived was near the northern end of the Mal-pais. Just above the Mal-pais an old river-bed is reached at the depth of about 250 feet; below it the river-bed, when found, is at a slight depth. Southwest of the Apache Reservation the old river-bed runs into a large salt marsh. A stream of no mean size seems to have once run down this valley. Not only has it now disappeared, but its bed is covered by lava and loose soil sometimes to great depths. As to the cause of the disap­ pearance, it may have some connection with the tradition of the Indians, which tells of a year of fire, when this valley \fas so filled with flame and poisonous gases as to be made uninhabitable. When this occurred the chronology of the Indians is not perfect enough to tell us. That it was long ago is attested by the depth to which the bed is cov­ ered by detritus, probably washed down from the mountains, and by trees of considerable size which are found in some places in it. But that it was not so extremely long ago that it had become entirely uninhabitable is made proba­ ble by the comparatively late desertion of the Gran Quivira. It is entirely possible that the Indian year of fire may have long preceded the drying up of the part of the valley in which Gran Quivira was situated. -- Science Monthly. Eating Morsels of Live Carp. More birds with bamboo sprouts and abalone shreds were served and then came the piece de resistance and the unique scene of the evening. The maiko advanced in a broad line with the two radiant beauties in the center bearing a large tray on which lay a magnificent carp, breathing and with his scales shining as if just drawn from the water. The master of ceremonies advanced and receiving the tray from the maiko, set it on the mat and turned it slowly around that all might see the living picture. As the maiko retired all leaned forward to wfctch the noble carp as it lay quivering on its bed of moss and cresses with a background of greenery like a true Japanese garden. The carp with its shining scales, green and silvery shadings, and fine outlines is a favorite study for Japanese artists, and on screens, kakemous and fukusa, they never tire of painting, inlaying and embroidering it, and like everything else in their art it has a symbolism tjf* makes it doubly a favorite. The feat of serving the living fish at a feas one of the rare old customs of Ja that foreigners seldom experience this era of change, and we had thi of satisfaction at witnessing the gr scene at the same time with hur shivers at watching the slow breatl of the dying carp, as in the deftest morsels and flakes of raw fish w lifted from its back and passed to company, and with fear of Mr. Be before me I lifted np the shredi clear pinkish yellow flesh, dipped tli' in soy and ate them. It was worse th. cannibalism in a sense, and we tried I© think that the carp before us had not been touched with a knife, but that bits from the back of another fish had been cunningly concealed behind it and passed to us. The epicures meanwhile made all the Japanese noises expressive of appreciation as they lingered on the delicious morsels. A sudden turn or jar of the tray, or as was inhumanly in­ sisted in discussing this feature of the feast afterward, a sprinkle of salt, caused the carp to suddenly writhe, double and quiver with agony and show the great hollow in its back from which the flesh had been slowly cut. Con­ vinced then that we had been eating that very carp, I dropped my chop­ sticks guiltily and felt that fish's eye fixed reproachfully on me for as long as it remained in the room and haunting me afterward.--Japan letter to St. Louis Globe-Democrat. il The (icnuine or None. Mrs. Newlyrich (to jeweler)- "Have you any genuine solitaire diamond ear­ rings?" Jeweler--"Yes, madam." * Mrs. Newlyrich--"I will look at them; but don't show me anything but genuine* solitaires."--New York Times. A PROPOSITION has been- inadt In Ceylon for the systematic observation of the singular migration, of butterflies in that island. Wives as Companions. ̂ It has become the fashion to talk of girls, as at present brought tip, as more ornamental than useful. Old bachelors occasionally indulge in tirades against woman's ignorance of housekeeping. If these lay sermons are correct, the only mission of a wife is to bake and sweep and sew. Now we do not understand the importance of such acquirements. A girl has no right to marry a poor man if she is entirely ignorant of household matters, and most young men in this country are comparatively poor, and have their fortune to make for them­ selves. But to be ignorant of house­ hold affairs is one thing--to be a drudge, or upper servant, is another. We have too often seen a lively, pretty girl, after a few years of marriage, sink into a list­ less, careworn matron. A wife should be something above a mere menial. She ought to be a "helpmate," and no wife can be that, in the higher sense the term, unless she is a companion. Many an otherwise excellent woman, perfect in the ordering of her household, and capable, when necessary, of working heartily herself, drives her husband to the oompany of pothouse companions because she is no companion for him. We do not say that a doctor's wife should study medi­ cine, or a lawyer's wife study law, or a mechanic's wife should learn his trade, ia order to become a companion to her husband. This is not what we mean. But every man, even the most illiterate^ has his peculiar tastes and sympathies; and it should be the business of a wife to discover them, to interest herself in them, and to be able to talk apprecia­ tively about them. The poorer a couple are, unless in the case of actual day-laborers, the more they are thrown together, and the more need there is of this companion­ ship. With the very rich, society occu­ pies much of the time of the wife^ if not of the husband, and there is, perhaps, less absolute need of this companion­ ship. But even with the very rich, a capacity for companionship would add greatly to the mutual happiness of hus­ band and wife, and often prevent sad family tragedies. Wives, neglect not your household duties, but be some­ thing more than mere housekeepers--; be intelligent companions to your hus­ bands. A Limit to Wealth. Rev. Dr. Crosby, of New York, in a, remarkable article in John Swinton's Paper says: Limitation of personal wealth'in de­ gree is as reasonable as limitation in kind. Where possession in kind is dan­ gerous, the law puts limits. Why should it not put limits where possession in de­ gree is dangerous ? I cannot keep dy­ namite in my house, I cannot sell gu-n powder, I cannot keep pigs in my yard, I cannot own cholera or small-pox rags, I cannot own a rickety house. In all these cases the law will punish me, and take away my property. And justly, because I am an injury to the commu­ nity in holding it. Now, if my holding an estate that is dangerous, from its vastness, is fQrbidden by law, where is the injustice ? All that must be proved is its danger. Laws should be made cautiously; and no mere jealousy should find place in them. But if it can be proved that colossal fortunes are perilous to the well-being of society, laws limiting fortunes would be perfectly just. That such for­ tunes are perilous in society and the State is proved a priori, from the fact that they give a controlling political power to men not chosen by the people to exercise that power. It is a power to buy up Legislatures, to purchase im­ munities for outrage, to defy public opinion, and to make justice impossible. And it is proved a posteriori, from in­ numerable examples in the -history of legislation in our own country, where gigantic monopolies have been fostered, to the oppression of tho poor, and a system of "corners" has been main­ tained by unrighteous laws and a failure to pass righteous ones. It is a common cry with these rich men and corporations that the laws of trade, etc., will take care of themselves. This they cry when legislation for the poor is talked of, when it is suggested that we should have wages secured and co-operation supported by law. But all the time they are not leaving the laws of trade, etc., to take care <jf them­ selves, but they are filling every State Legislature with their lobbyists, and dining and wining the legislators, and procuring legislation to favor their own greedy and extortionate plans. The land is full of this- gross injus­ tice, and the enormous accumulation of capital in a few hands is the cause of it. It is high time that wise and impar­ tial men should, by careful study and counsel, devise a righteous plan to curb excessive wealth for the sake of the country's peace and prosperity. The reform should be no impulsive measure. Such a remedy would be as bad as the disease. The principles of justice should govern throughout. The amount of wealth to be allowed one man, the method of avoiding trickery by which several would hold the property for one, the right mode of preventing accumu­ lation, and the exclusion of opportuni­ ties for mere spite and annoyance--all these would be subjects demanding ̂ So­ ber, honest, faithful discussion; but they should not be ignored and neg­ lected because of the difficulties in them. Remarkable Rivers. Among the world's natural curiosities las ic. la- i3 ts, n- es en lie ,er. /by hes uwnlfld Riode Viifagre/WTinegar River. Many varieties of fish abound in the large Orange River of South Africa, until the river passes through a rocky region con­ taining copper ores, below which the water is said to be poisonous and to kill the fish that venture into it. China's Sorrow" is the name that has been given to the great Hoang-Ho, which rises in the mountains of Thibet and follows a wonderfully circuitous channel for 3,500 miles to the sea. The waywardness of this mighty volume of water makes the river a constant source of anxiety and danger, instead of wealth, to 170,000,000 of people inhabiting the central plain of China. It is known to have suddenly changed its course nine times. It has moved its mouth over four degrees of latitude each time, emptying its vast floods in different di­ rections and digging a new channel for itself where scores of villages had stood. It has greatly changed the phys­ ical character of a wide area, turning fertile regions into a sandy waste; or making shallow lakes of them, in which nothing grows, and over which nothing can sail. Whether it is within the power of western sciene to save this great plain from disastrous overflows and changes of the river-bed is a ques­ tion that has been considerably dis­ cussed in England of late years. A very curious river is the Webbe Shebeyli of East Africa, a deep and £apid stream, abounding in fish and crocodiles. Though it flows for hun­ dreds of miles through fertile lands, the immense volume of water never reaches the sea. A little north of the equator the river loses itself in the desert region a few miles from the In­ dian Ocean.--Anon. It Wouldn't Work. A recent lesson in the Sabbath school was on the death of Elisha, and when one of the soholars came to the clause, "they buried him," the teacher asked: "Why did they not cremate him? Do you think there is any encouragement in the Bible for cremation?" "No encouragement whatever," was the reply; "they tried it on the three that were cast into the fiery furnace and didn't make it work."--Harper's Bazar. MANY a fool is kept concealed beneath the silence of his own tongue. The Effects of Tobacco. The effects of tobacco differ widely, according, first, to individual, and rae- ial, and climatic conditions, and accord­ ing to the method of consumption, and to circumstances of dosage and concen­ tration. Ih proof of individual differ­ ences we have a mass of every-day tes­ timony. "I could never work unless I smoked," says one; and another, "To­ bacco never agrees with me, though I have tried it often." Only on the view that effects vary according to differ­ ences of race, can we account for the fact that some communities readily, adopt the habit and defend it, while others find no pleasure in it and de- nouce it, as in the case of certain Amer­ ican States. Climatic variations are still more striking. In temperate and cold countries tobacco creates thirst, and thereby encourages drinking hab­ its ; in tropical climes it has no such effect on the smoker, and the taste for alcohol rarely follows its use in those latitudes. Very eminent observers have, indeed, attributed the proverbial sobriety of Eastern peoples to the use of tobacco. These are important quali­ fications, having reference to the smoker himself and his surroundings, and mod­ ifying the effects of his indulgence in such a manner as irresistably to suggest the old proverb: "One man's food is another man's poison." But, further, the effects vary according to the method of consumption; and here we touch a question of great interest, bearing upon several stimulant narcotics, and that is the question of chewing. All solid foods undergo this process in the mouth, and, of our chief products, tobacco, coca, opium, and betel are also chewed. The act of chewing powerfully affects the nerves of the mouth, being branches of the fifth pair of nerves, and in close con­ nection with the brain. While it has long been understbod that certain nerves in the mouth excite, when stim­ ulated by food, the pleasureable sensa­ tions of taste, it is a more recent dis­ covery that the chewing of solids pro­ duces through the fifth nerve certain stimulant impressions upon the nervous ^enters. One of the consequent effects is a quickened circulation in the brain. What light this throws upon the habit of chewing the world over! The child, whose one anxiety is to get something between its teeth, may be exemplifying a want and an instinct, the same ae prompts the Egyptian, Malay, and Hin­ doo, from infancy to age, to gnaw at the sugar-cane. Again, many persons seek to produce an analogous effect by stroking the cli.n or nose when puzzled or ab­ sorbed in thought. In such cases, doubt­ less, the unconscious act has for its pur­ pose stimulation of the brain through the mediation of sen'sitive nerves. Both snuffing and4 chewing tobacco probably exert this local influence far more pow­ erfully than smoking. The constitu­ tional effects in the three cases are nearly the same. Among our sailors "chewing the quid" is extremely com­ mon, and seems to date from a time when smoking #was prohibited, from danger to the "wooden walls." Meth­ ods of smoking exercise an important influence on the effect produced. Smoked in the European fashion, ac­ cording to which the fumes of the burn­ ing leaf are sucked directly into the mouth, the essential principles of the drug, including nicotine, find a free en­ trance into the system. This is obvi­ ated by the Turks, Hindoos, Chinese, and others, who draw the smoke through a layer of water, in some form of water- pipe, such as .the hookah and narliile. By this very wiselnetliod the narcotic effects are far more difficult to produce and altogether less in extent. Hence it would be of great and undeniable ad­ vantage to introduce the water system into this country.-- The Nineteenth Century. * Snakes, Hindoos, and Europeans. Against the snakes there is an annu­ ally increasing bitterness, and if it were not that Asiatics are Asiatics, such a wholesale slaughter of these deadly reptiles might be accomplished as would thin their numbers very rapidly, and in certain districts probably exter­ minate them. Yet unfortunately the Hindoo persists in building huts with­ out windows, and in keeping his fire­ wood and domestic chattels in the dark­ est corner of the hut, and in going with bare feet and bare hands and without a light of any kind to fetch them when he needs them. The result is that he disturbs a snake, and when the doctor comes to see the corpse he finds either on the fingers or the toes the tiny double puncture which is the cobra's or korait's broad arrow of death. To combat the snake successfully there is needed in the first place day­ light, and in the next, shoe-leather. These reptiles are nocturnal, and against boots are powerless. The result is that all the time Europeans liave been in India there have been few cases of snake-bite among them. When a European meets a snake he kills it; but when a snake meets a na­ tive, it kills him. The former lives in well-lighted houses, and wears cloth­ ing all over his body, and against this double advantage the snake, the most easily killed or crippled of all creatures, has no chance. The native; however, goes groping with bare limbs in the corners of his pitch-dark rooms, and the result is death, swift, painful; and in­ evitable. Another point of contrast that illus­ trates the fortunate immunity of Euro­ peans is that their houses are raised above the ground, and that the snake, though it may make the complete cir­ cuit of the walls, digcovers no means of ingress except the bath-room water- pipe, and this it always- finds covered with perforated zinc for the very pur­ pose of preventing snakes from coming into houses. The native hut, on the other hand, is on the level of the ground, and the greater part of the front is "doorway," protected only by hanging, nets ancl loosely made hurdles of straw or grasses! The snake, therefore, incommoded, it may be, by the rain which has inun­ dated its hole, sallies forth to find dry quarters, and has only to travel along the wall of the first hut to find an easy passage open for it, and a comfortable corner to occupy.--London Telegraph, Meteorological Item. Prof. Snore, of the University of Texas, and Kosciusko Murphy met not very long since, and both of them being very intelligent they talked about scientific subjects, and among others about eclipses. "Did you see the total eclipse of the sun we had here in Austin about four years ago?" asked Murphy. "No," replied Prof. Snore; "I didn't get to see it. I was out at my ranch, five miles from town, and when I got back it was all over."--Texas Si flings.- SELDOM shall one see in rich families that athletic soundness and Vigor of constitution which is seen in cottages, where Nature is cook and Necessity caterer.--South* sr' ri PITH AND POINT. "EVER kneeling at61 thy. iee?*--4lie ' bootblack. w BRAZEN belles--ballet dancers. at | variety theater. i j • CAN the signal-service bureau be an 1 American institution «rhen it is for* . ' •ain? K J*, EVEKT dog has his day, but if youhi| v him on the head with a brick, he will' have his Aaze.--White Hall Times. NATURE provides for clouds to go o4 t/f a "bust" when full of water. It is verv different with men.--California Mat> erick. THE young man who imprinted a re­ spectful kiss on the fair forehead of hif best girl told his friend next day thaff ^ he had been having a hangup time. ; "MAY I help you to alight?" asked ' Jimson, politely, as Miss Le Jones drove up in her carriage. "Thank you. I never smoke," she returned coldly.-- Bambler. AN IRISH BULL (TS COLOR). A taste for painting? I don't know; Ho may, perhaps, be full of it. He did his best to paint a cow. And--well I ha mad* a ballot it. --Soxbury Advocate. AN employer who had been annoye^ ̂* by the tardy habits of one of his * workmen - greeted him one morning t with the salutation, "Good evening, sir, f < where have you been at work to-day??os IF mankind were not so often man?. ' unkind, mankind would find more ois"; the golden pavements of the heavenly, ; city scattered along the highways ani|;» v byways of earth.--Merchant Traveler: .* A KENTUCKY paper states that one of its patrons has not closed his eyes in'- " sleep for six months. What's the mat^ " : ter with him--blind in one eye, or prop»\- erty heavily mortgaged ?--Ch icagfr Ledger. A WOMAN in Georgia lived forty-eight days on water and then died. Water is a pretty thin diet, for a fact, but we know some sailors who have lived nearly all their lives on water.--Califomid Maverick. "SOME idiot has put that pen where I can't find it!" growled old Asperity, as he rooted about the desk. "Ah, um, yes! I thought so," he continued in a iower key, as he hauled the article from behind his ear. THE Methodists spend $1,000,000 a year in converting the heathen. Half of that sum, if spent in shooting the cats on the back fences of this country, would save more valuable souls.--Cali­ fornia Maverick. IT is said to have been discovered by science that the wind always moves in a circle, but no explanation has been made as to how it happens that when . the playful zephyrs seize hold of a man's hat they always make a straight shoot for the nearest mudpuddle.-- Chicago Ledger. "JOHNNY, did you get anything in your stocking?" "Yer right I did, mis­ ter." "That's good. What was it?" "Well, fust I stuck my hand in to see if there was anythin' there, an' when I found there wasn't I took my hand out an' put my foot in, an' it's there yet."-- 1 Yonkers Gazette. WITH THE LARK. You may wrangle'and argue andltalk and dispute From now till the end of the term, But you'll find it the truth, Bimple, plain, abso­ lute-- It's the early bird catches the worm. If vou answer the rising bell back with a snore, And under the blankets still squirm, You may juBt as well sleep two or three hours more. For the early bird's gobbled the worm. - ; , The man who invariably misses the trajm^ .. The truth of my song will confirm; ' ^ He can never sell goods on the road, it is plain, For the early bird catches the worm. And though you hate work, and are fender of Play. Or though you feel weak and infirm, Just get up and scoot round at the break of day For the joke it will be on tho worm. --liurdette. A CHICAGO boy of 6 years, who had been pestering one of his little brothers, was sentenced by Ills mother to sit for an hour in a liigh-chair in one corner of the sitting-room, as a punishment. During the hour a friend of the family, came in. The culprit had a Bible in his hands, and pretended to be reading very intently. The friend of the fam­ ily, having been informed of the "pun­ ishment," went up to the lad and asked: "Are you reading about the little boy who troubles his brothers?" "No," promptly replied Young America, "I'm reading about God, who knows enough to mind his own business."--Chicago Journal. Life In the Deep Sea. Perhaps no more remarkable addi­ tions to human knowledge have been made during the last twenty years than those pertaining to the oceans, whose dark abysses have now become com­ paratively familiar regions. The phys­ ical features have been quite clearly de­ termined, while most surprising, and until recently unsuspected, facts con­ cerning the life forms of the depths have been revealed. The most exten­ sive explorations were made by the British expedition on the "Challenger," which returned home in 1876 after three and a half years of investigation in all the oceans. By this famous ex­ pedition thousands of new organisms were discovered, in all localities and at all depths in the sea, and have been or are now being described by specialists in all quarters of the world. There seems to be no part of the ocean bed SQ deep, so dark, so still, or where the pressure is so great, as to have effectu­ ally raised a barier to life in some of it$ many forms. Even in the greatei? depths all the great divisions of the an­ imal kingdom are represented. De­ scending into the deeper waters, and^ proceeding further seaward from the-. • borders of the continents, species and;, individuals become fewer and fewer, til|^ * a minimum is reached in the greatesfj depths farthest from continental land.,. In the adaptation of organisms to deep-; sea conditions, curious modifications have occurred, such as the disspearanco or enlargement of the eyes, the elonga­ tion of fins and antennae, the increase in size and decrease in number of eggs, and the development of phosphorescent organs. . Shorthand. The latest abbreviation. crank haila from' Illinois. He registered at a South side hotel thus: "Y & et." It was deciphered to indicate "Wyanet." Out in Kansas they always write Leavenworth "11 worth," and Wyan­ dotte "Y &." All this is done in the interests of economy, not through in­ dolence. There was a man once whose name was JJunes Hole, and who was so lazy that in registering his name he, simply made a "J" and then punched a hole in the paper. John Underwood, of Andover, Massachusetts, always feigned himself: "Wood, J. --dhicago Mail. ONE silly man with a pair of beauti-^ ful eyes can spoil all the society olpi which he is the head.--Gath. ,j: