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it *J!. I,®-,!-: »'• t$La>Jl ...» •» •• _..T« - '-I ' -.'*<>.•-» , . .. ' .* - . rg paiadealn I. Vim SLYKE, EISH»r um PaWMw. MCHENBY, *L -- ILLINOIS. A BLUsHiNc* young woman entered the Circuit Clerk's office in Perry ville, Missouri, tile other day and asked if a certain young man had taken out a license to marry a certain young wo- mail. She looked much relieved when the Clerk said "No." "Well, don't give him one," sAo said. ̂ got the first claim on him." ^ "WALES' Bister, the Crown Princess of Oermany, learned from the late Mrs. Bancroft, when her husband was .United States Minister at Berlin, some American culinary curiosities in the •fray of pumpkin pife and doughnuts, which she delights to display on her /ttfble. It is remarked that Bismarck is shy of the hospitalities of the Crown Princess. • THE hauling of the heaVy slabs of atone for the steps up to the mansion of millionaire Flood, i» San Francisco, has been attended with much labor. The trucks oaa which the stone was placed were very heavy, and twenty horses were necessary to drag the load tip to the top of Nob Hill. The wheels -made deep ruts in the ground, crush­ ing the stone pavements into the earth. Hundreds of people watched the opera­ tion. ' LKO HARTMAN says in the New York Star: "Nihilism in Russia, though comparatively quiet now in manifesting itself, is by no means dormant nor idle. No one need be astonished at any time ®t an outbreak more tremendous, far- reaching and dangerous to Bussian ab­ solutism than any in the past. The blood of our martyrs will yet be avenged, perhaps much sooner than the world suspects; but of my reasons for this I have now no right to eater into •ny explanation." SEVER AX. negroes recently captured a large sturgeon in Big Creek, Ga. It had been seen swimming around in the creek for more than a week, and that day they went prepared with spikes And axes to capture the menster. The water was three or four feet deep, and it took considerable work to bring him to shore. It was taken to Waynesboro, and weighed eighty-five pounds and measured six and one-half feet in length. It is the first sturgeon ever captured in the creek. ON the eastern bank of the Bio Grande Biver and about six miles from Las Cruces, N. M., is a colony of peo­ ple whose customs, history, and re­ ligion are the most peculiar to be found in this country. They call themselves •"Faithistshave a Bible written by one of themselves; have a new calen­ dar, in which the days,. Sabbaths and holidays are changed, and the months are called signs; eat only two meals a day, while fish and flesh are forever forbidden as an article of food. A HEX owned by John Bartlett, of Old Colony, Mass., has adopted an as­ sured method of paying her board. Nearly every day she comes to the house door making a peculiar - noise, and, on being admitted, goes to the lounge and deposits an egg. Having thus put the family' in the actual pos­ session of the "spot cash," she again finds the door, and, by a peculiar note, asks to be let out, going about her busi­ ness apparently feeling that she has made an adequate return for her keep­ ing- A NEWSPAPER in Maine quotes some ^reports of "deestrick-school" commit­ teemen, which read like those of a li^lf century ago. One such is: "Miss Abrams did not allow the children to make any noise, and made but little herself, moving her pupils around as old Dea Drinkwater did her oxen--by the snap of her finger." Another school "made fair progress, some scholars getting ahead of their own accord, and others being dragged along. Strap-oil properly applied might have helped "the matter." "Birch oil" is the lubri­ cant which "made things run smooth" at another school. ME. JOHN R. BRANTLEY, ofDcuglas- Tille, Ga., with creditable brotherly feelings, comes to his sister's rescue in the following card in the village paper: "Certain unscrupulous women who have no regard for truth have, with a •view to injuring my sister's business, circulated a report that she is 'stuck up,' and does not respect country peo­ ple. This is a false and malicious rep­ resentation, whose author is as deceit­ ful as she is ugly. My sister especially solicits the patronage of people who live in the country, and I guarantee that she will give them every attention and courtesy." A BURGLARY was committed recently at the Austrian Art and Industrial Museum, in Vienna, and artistic objects valued at 6,000 florins were stolen. The thieves have not yet been found. A list of sixteen stolen articles has been published by the police, and includes some renaissance silver goblets, bronze and silver caskets, jugs, and candle­ sticks. All these objects were easily portable. The thieves threw away a handsome mediaeval bronze clock as being too heavy to carry. A famous copper jug and goblet, with embossed medallion portraits of the heroes of the siege of Vienna, in 1683, are among the things missing. IT is worthy of note as a sad coinci­ dence in the history of the family of Hon. George H. Pendleton that the brother-in-law of that gentleman lost his life more than twenty years ago in a manner almost similar to that in which his wife died a few days ago--a runaway accident. Mr. Pendleton's sister was married to a very wealthy gentleman named Bowler, who lived in one of the finest suburban residences of Cincinnati. -sit On the 4th of July, 1864 or 1865, Mr. Bowler was driving to the city in his buggy, when a team of omnibus horses that had been frightened by some fire­ crackers ran away and collided with his - vehicle, the pole of the omnibus strik­ ing him in the head and killing him in­ stantly. At the time of his death Mr. Bowler Was president Q>f .tbg, Kentucky Central Railroad. 4 ? • ; SIR JAMES STEPHEN is proud to pos- sess Carlyle's writing-table, and thus relates how it came to him. "Mr. Car- iyle," he says, "asked me to his ex­ ecutor, and some little time after I had accepted that duty asked me, in his drawing-room, to choose one of the ar­ ticles of furniture or pictures contained in it, to keep as a memorial of him. I chose the table--or rather desk--in question, partly because it was of hardly any intrinsic value--it was valued for probate at £2--and partly because it was of rather peculiar make, and had for many years been associated with him in my mind. He told me he was glad I had chosen it; that it had belonged to his father-in-law; that it was remarkably solid and well made, and that he had written all his books upon it, except 'Schiller.' He added some other kind words about me and my writings, and about his own desire that nothing base or unworthy should be written on his table." AX Arizona editor recently sent pos­ tal cards to all the prominent citizens of the place requesting them to give an answer to the question, Why are Von an honest man? Some of the replies which he publishes are curious. One answers: "It must be because of my durned cussedness; I always did like to be different from other people." An­ other says that he is honest because he has never held any public office. An­ other indignantly answers, "What d'ye take me fer--an angel ?" Another sar­ castically remarks, "I suppose you're goin' to start a museum and are lookin' for freaks. Well, count me out; I'm not one." Another, a professional labor agitator, wrote in bloodred ink, on a postal card, "What are ye givin'us?" While the editor of the opposition paper volunteered the answer that he scorned to lay bare the palpitating mainspring of a noble and honest soul at the request of a dishonest reptile and political parasite. The editor is so well pleased with the results of his inquiry that he intends soon to ask for answers to the question, What do vou take for a cold? AFTER his brother Senators - had de­ livered in the Senate touching eulo- giums expressive of regret over the death of the late Senator Miller, Sena­ tor Hearst, appointed to fill the vacancy, rose and delivered the following remarkable oration: "The Sen- ators who have preceded me have spoken of Senator Miller as a soldier and a statesman. It now be­ comes my privilege to speak of him as a citizen, in which capacity also he served his country. He and his associates were the recipients of one of the most important franchises in the gift of the Government. Out of this grant arose an enterprise which has been carried on to the best interest of all parties therein concerned, in proof of which the books have ever been open for the investiga­ tion of any authorized agent. In fact, to my knowledge, such investigation has always been invited. The manage­ ment not only protected the Govern­ ment, but a system was created which enabled the helpless and ignorant Indians engaged in the work to save such a proportion of their earnings that there is to-day to their credit in the banks of . San Francisco $100,000-- which amount has gone into the coffers of the company for the simple consider­ ation of five barrels of very ordinary whisky. This instance alone is suffi­ cient to show the purity and integrity of the man's life. Such an example should be written on the mile-posts of the highway, chiseled in the cliffs along the trails'of the Bocky Mountains, graven in the granite of the Sierras, hewn on the tall pines of the Pacific slope, and commemorated in the flows in the valleys of the dead Senator's adopted State." Dr. Mary Walker on Dress. But now, in speaking of reform in dress, there is a great principle in this. There is no reason why woman should wear clothes which make her nervous, debilitated, and unable to do her por­ tion of the work to l>e done in the world. Men must deprive themselves of books, of papers, and of many of the pleasures of life just to keep their wives and daughters so dressed that they may move in good society. And these same wives and daughters are, many of them, invalids, broken down by the tyranny of fashion and dress. They are wholly unable to do their part to help sustain the family, if reverses should come. Now, I would not think it any partic­ ular favor if half the men in the United States should ask me to be their wife. I have had men, intelligent and wealthy men, come to me and say: "Dr. Walker, I respect you; I respect your intellect and your good sense, and I be­ lieve, if you only dressed like other wo­ men, I would love you and ask you to be my wife." Well, do you know what I told them? I said: "There are plenty of women in the world who dress just as you want them to; go and marry them." I don't want anyone to marry me for my clothes, or because, when I am dressed up, "I look well. If I am married it must be from the highest motives. Puzzled by the Hatchet Story. Georgie is 4 years old. One day the youngster had been taken by a slight attack of prevarication, and, wishing to impress upon his infantile understand­ ing the sinfulness of telling fibs, the father related the story about George Washington an-d his little hatchet, clos­ ing with the remark that George Wash­ ington never told a lie. The child sat in deep thought a mo­ ment and then said: "Papa, toodent he talk?"--Boston Record. . IN private, we must watch our thoughts; in the family,.our tempera; in company, our tongues. MONEY FOR DEMOCRATS. Eecord of the Democratic Congress on • til* Reduction and Increase of Salaries. Salaries Cat Dawn for Republican ••dais and Increased for DemoC ̂ ; cratic Office-Holders. x Obstructing the Payment of Pensions to ^ Bektien in the Interest of the ^ ̂ t Democratic Party. * The action of the Democratic House of Representatives upon the appropriation bill which provides for the expenses of the legislative, executive, and judicial branches of the Government has been very sig­ nificant, as illustrating the disposition of tlie Democrats to make all they can out of the Government, now that they have secured the offices. They keep up the old cry of "reform," but vote down every proposition pointing in that direction. In conversa­ tion with a Washington correspondent, Representative Cannon. of Illinois, who is the leader on the Republican side in fight­ ing Democratic extravagance, said: "I notice a decided change i.u the senti­ ment of .the House in making appropria­ tions for the salaries of oflicials since the Democratic party was inaugurated. While the administration was Republican the Democratic majority in the House was for­ ever hunting for a chance to cut a few dol­ lars off the salaries of officials, but this Congress has restored them all to to the amounts that were paid ten years ago. In 1870, when the rebel brigadiers captured the House of Representatives--the Forty- fourth Congress--the Democratic majority reduced salaries all around, not by repeal­ ing the statutes which fixed them at cer­ tain amounts, but by reducing the figures in the appropriation biil and by inserting in the enacting clause a proviso that had never been there before. It was contained in the three words, 'in full compensation.' "The Supreme Court of the United States, in a test case presented to it, held that the insertion of these three words in an appropriation bill suspended the statues fixing the salaries of officials for which the appropriation was made, and at the end of the year the statues were in effect again. From that time, the first session of the Forty-fourth Congress, until the present session, the legislative, executive and judi­ cial bill has always contained the>e words, and the salaries have been reduced below the statutory figures. But this Congress, to celebrate the restoration of the Demo­ cratic party to power, has stricken out those words, and has raised the salaries to where they were when the Democrats got the con­ trol of Congress. The boot is on the other foot now, and they are not so anxious about curtailing expenses. v "The rule the Democrats adopted at the beginning of the Forty-fourth Congress," continued Mr. Cannon, "and which lias re­ mained on tbe books until the present ses­ sion, was that it should not be in order upon any appropriation bill to change the- existing law except when it would reduce the expenses of the Government. At the commencement of the present session this qualification was stricken out, and Rule 21 was changed so as to prohibit all legislation whatever that changed existing law on ap­ propriation bills. This was for the benefit of Democratic office-holders, to protect them against the old Democratic doctrine of retrenchment and reform that we have heard about so much, and now, as soon as the bill to appropriate money for the salaries of Government officials comes up in the House, Colonel Morrison arises in his seat, brings out the modified rules, and makes a point of order against the words ' in full com­ pensation,' which represent all the milk in the cocoanut, arguing that they cannot be placed in the appropriation bill l>eeaU8e they change the existing law. The point of order was sustained by Mr. Blount, of Georgia, who was in the chair, and thus the salaries of all officials were restored to where they were when the rebel brigadiers came into power ten years ago. The fol­ lowing list shows a portion of the officials whose salaries were reduced in 1876, and have remained so until now: Division i , ! $2,750] KJJ'OOO Division; 1 1 2.750' 2,800 2,500 2,800 2,700 2,800' 2,100 2,400. 4,000' 2,250 2.5J0! 4,000 4.500: 2,250. 2,500 4,000; 4.5 iJ| 2,250' 2.500 2,500 3,000 2,20a 2,003) (250 50 1,800 200 3,000 2,400 6,750 50J 500 500 400 300 200 1,000 100 100 20J' 100 200 500 250 1,500 200 800 400 Chief of Warrant Treasury Chief of Customs Treasury Six chiefs of division Two deputy comptrollers.... Ten division chiefs Six auditors Twenty-seven division ch'fs. Commissioner of Customs... Two division chief Treasurer of the United States 6.000 6.C0J Assistant Treasurer and Cashier 8,600 3,800 Assistant Cashier--.; 3.200 3,5)0 Chief Clerk 2,500 2,700, Five division chiefs 2,500 2,700 One bookkeeper .i. 2,500 2,600 One bookkeeper I 2,400 2,50t)| One teller ! 2,50.); 2.700 One teller % [ 2,500 2,600, Two assistant tellers'. ! 2,250: 2,350 ltegister Assistant ltegister... Three division chiefs ! 2,000 Deputy Comptroller of thej Currency j 2,830 Four d i vi s ion chiefs : 2,000 Stenographer ' 1,000 Chief Cleric Lighthouse Board ; 2.409- 2,500 Deputy Commissioner of In-' | tornal Revenue...:' 3,200 3.500 Five heads of division , 2,200 2,500; Stenographer i 1,800{ 2,000' Governors of eight Territ©-! ries S 2,C00! 3,500 Secretaries of eight Territo-; I ries I 1,800 2,500 Chief Clerk Bureau of Mili-j | I tary Justice j 1,800; 2,000 200 Superintendent of Public j Documents I 2,000; 2,500 Surveyor General of Arizona. | 2,500' 3,000| Surveyor General of Califor­ nia i Surveyor General of Colorado Surveyor General of Florida.! 1,800; Surveyor General of Idaho..; 2,500 Survevor General of Louisi­ ana." 1 1,800 2,000 Surveypr General of Montana £,5001 3,000 Surveyor General of Nevada. 1,80>I 3,000' Survevor General of N'e-; 1 braska 1,500| 2,000 500 Surveyor General of New; ! Mexico 2,530; 3,000 Surveyor General of Oregon. 1.800 2,5J0 Surveyor General of Utah ! 2,500 3,000 Surveyor General of Wyom-; iug j Chief Dead-letter Division..| Superintendent of Foreign' Mails ; Superintendent Money Or-j ! ders 3,500' 4,000 Disbursing clerk J 2100' 2,800' Hoiiciror General 7,0<)0l 7,500 Solicit' r of Internal He venue 4,500 5,000 Examiner of Claims j 3,500; 4,000 Examiner of Titles j 2,700l 3,000 They who have had their salaries put up will not be sorry, because they will have in the ex- and those „ Hill not be- intendment get *" And this 2,750 3,000! 2,500; 3,000| 2,000! 3,000; 3,OCO 3,500; 2,2»! 2.5JO 3,000; 4,0001 1,000 300 1,500 200 7,aoo 5,000 500 500 250 500 »J0 500 2)0 500 1,200 500 700 500 50) 250 the credit of making penditures of the C who have been redu< jtoorry, because they just as much as they is statesmanship. "The Democratic OtyRO&ittee on Appro­ priations, against my Wttteut, cut down the salary and reduced the foiae in the Pension Office, doing away with 150 clerks. That was objected to on the Republican side by "myself and others because we think that there ought to be an increase instead of a decrease in the working foroe of the Pension Office, so that the claims of thousands of old soldiers, and the Widows of old sol­ diers. that have been waiting for years for pensions that are justly due them could be passed upon. I have urged that these claims must some time be examined, and that the sooner they are disposed of the better it will be for the Pension Office ancl the Gov­ ernment. It will cost no mors to examine them this year than it will next, and to cut down the force of examiners simply post- panes for ari indefinite time a certain num­ ber of claims that ought to be adjudicated. The delay is an injury to the old soldiers, and is no economy to the Government. Another point which I have rej>eatedlv called attention to. is that it is costing the Pension Office and kindred offices at the rate of five million dol­ lars per annum and over to[jtrans- act the business in connection with the al­ lowance nnd payment of pensions, most of which is spent in obstructing claimauts in the allowance of their claims. The trouble is that we justly owe a great many soldiers of the late war pensions who can not make the technical proof required by the Pension Office to establish their claims. It is time for Congress to clear away the technicali­ ties and obstructions created by the prac­ tice of the Pension Office which keep so ma y men who deserve pensions off the pension roll. The tendency on the part of some of the employes of the office is H> obstruct or postpone tlie allowance of claims, for the moment this business is dis­ posed of their occupation is gone, and they would have to find other employment. The Republican Senate has per­ formed its duty by passing a bill that provides that every soldier of the late war who saw three months' service and was honorably discharged, and is or shall be­ come disabled from any cause, and is de­ pendent upon his own exertions for support, aud has no others not legally bound to sup­ port him. shall have his name written upon the pension rolls. The responsibility is upon the House. The Republican side of the House is ready and anxious to pass the bill, nnd I said to the Democratic side of the House: You are in the saddle, you have the majority, and if ycu won't pass this bill, or assist us to pass it, you will, and ought to, receive the condemnation of the country. If we pass this bill, we can soon discharge a large part of the force in the Pension Office, which now constitutes, in one sense, a civil pension list, and pay the money to the soldiers who are entitled to it. "I also called attention to Other branches of the Government in which I think there ought to be au increase of appropriation. One is the Labor Bureau. This bureau is organized this vear for the first time. The first report of the Commissioner has just been ordered printed, and those who have seen advanced sheets speak very highly of it. What we want of the Labor Bureau is not this man's theory or that man's theory, but facts. We can make our own theories, but we require facts. This year, for the first time, the Commissioner of the Labor Bureau submits an estimate for his force, and an appropriation of about $1)0,000 is asked, 'l'he committee recommended- less th.in half that sum. The Chief of the Bu­ reau was before us and made a clear and effective statement of what he intended to do. He asked money to enable him to make a series of investigations, but the Democrats refused to appropriate for this purpose. He wants to make first an in­ vestigation into the number, causes, dura­ tion, results, and other features of all strikes occurring since and during the year .1881. 2. An investigation into the hours of labor, wages paid, method of payment, hours of doty, condition, etc., of railroad employes. 3. An investigation into the kind aud amount of work performed in the penal institutions of the several States, the several methods under which convicts are or may be employed in such institutions, and as to all the facts pertaining to convict labor aud its influence upon the industries of the country. 4. An investigation into the distribution of products, the cost of producing and distributing such products so far as the leading articles of consump­ tion are concerned, tracing each article from its production to its consumption, and gathering all the facts as to cost and method of distribution. 5. An investiga­ tion iuto the employment, wages, con­ dition, etc., of the women workers of great cities. "Every one who has studied the signifi­ cance of recent events will see the import­ ance of theRe investigations, and I shall try, when this parted' the bill is reached, to get the necessary appropriation. Various questions are pressing upon us with great force for solution. The country, with its population of sixty or sixty-five million, is rapidly growing, our industries are diversi­ fied; w e have half of the railroads in the world; our wage-Workers are increasing by hundreds and thousands every year, and as matters growing out of these industries pres.s for solution there must be action by Congress, action by State Legislatures, action by force of public opinion. A\ hat we want is education, not only for tlie labor­ ing men but for the men who do not labor. We want the facts honestly gathered and intelligently collected, so that we mny have reliable data, so that when we come to leg­ islate, when we come to form public opinion, which is higher and greater than legisla­ tion, legislation can be had and public opinion formed in the light of facts which are unquestioned, and these facts we must gather ourselTes if we would obtain them." Stenographer j 1,8 X) 2,000 500 200 500 500 500 300 200 "Total increase for the benefit of Demo­ cratic officials. £46,100. "I called attention to this inconsistency in the House the other day," continued Mr. Cannon, "and pointed out to the great re­ formers on the Democratic side that tjiere were a good many salaries changed in the bill, notwithstanding their rule and their pretensions to economy and virtue. I showed that although Mr. Holrnan and others made a great spread for reform, the Democrats provided for more employes under the House of Representatives than there ever were since the organization of the Govern­ ment. Some of the salaries are cut down and others are increased, but pretty soon we will restore the salaries of those who are cut down by the bill. But in the mean­ time it will have gone to the country that my friend from Indi­ ana, Judge Uolman, acting for the Committee on Appropriations, has re­ ported a bill to the House of Repre­ sentatives which contains a reduction of $500 for the tally clerk and $560 for the newspapers, and then we will all be happy. Trying to Revise History. The brutal attack upon Secretary Stanton by rebel brigadier Wheeler, of Alabama, is believed to be but the beginning of an at­ tempt to rewrite the history of the war from a Southern standpoint. His speech shows that so much labor was expended in com­ piling the facts and references set forth, that it is believed to have been the work of many men instead of one. There is no doubt that the Southern brigadiers, who have never accepted in good faith the re­ sults of the war, would like very much to be able to write ihe history of that period for future gent-rations. They would begin by misrepresenting the position of the leading men of the North, and if possible, destroy the popular admiration ana love for them. Then it would be an easy step to condemn the course these leaders took and misrepresent the attitude of the North, and that of the South. As if in pursuance of this plan, Senator Brown, of Georgia, but a few days ago, referred to the Union army as an "invading army" when it went forth to put down the rebellion. If the Solid South is not only to be given free rein to misrepresent the true history of the war, but is also placed in charge of the of­ ficial records and papers as well, no one can tell in what condition the facts of that great epoch will reach posterity. It is bad enough to have ex-rebels on the floor of Congress trying to justify treason, and de­ nouncing loyalty to the Union, but it is shocking to think that the only official re­ ports of those important days are left in the keeping of such men.--Iowa State Register. MITH indignation is expressed by officers, of the Grand Army of the Republic over the fact that official matters brought by them before the President w.id members of his Cabinet have been ignored. The old soldiers say they have been shabbily txeated by the reform administration. THE ladies and young men of fashion of ancient Rome used a ball of German pom­ ade to tinge the hair of a light or fair color. It was composed of goat's tallow and beegh- wood ashes, and made up into a ball. BILL NYE AT A FIRE. Stirring Incident* and Scurrying Crowds-- The Hook and Ladder Brigade to the Rescue. , I was awakened by the cry of fire. It was a loud, hoarse cry, such as a large, adult man might emit from his window on the night air. The town was not large, and the fire department, I lia<l been told, was not so effective as it should have been. For that reason I arose and carefully dressed myself in order to assist, if pos­ sible. I carefully lowered myself from my room l>v means of a staircase which I found concealed in a dark and mys­ terious corner of the passage. On the streets all was confusion. The hoarse cry of fire had been taken up by others, passed around from one to another, till it had swollen into a dull roar. The cry of fire in a small town is always a grand sight. All along the street in front of Mr. Pendergast's roller rink the blanched faces of the people could be seen. Men were hurrying to and fro, knocking the bystanders over in their frantic attempts to get somewhere else. With great foresight Mr. Pendergast, who had that day finished painting his roller a dull- roan color, removed from the building the large card which bore the legand: : FRESH PAINT! i * * so that those who were it6 disposed might feel perfectly free to lean up against the rink and watch the flames. Anon the bright glare of the devour! ing element might have been seen bursting through tlie casement of Mr. Cicero Williams' residence, facing on the alley west of Mr. Pendwgast's rink. Across the street the spectator whose early education had not been neglected could distinctly read the sign of our esteemed fellow-townsman, Mr. Alonzo Burlingame, which was lit up by the red glare of the flames so that the let­ ters stood out plainly as follows; ALONZO BURLINGAME, DEAI.GR IN* SOFT ANT> HAUII COAL, ICE-CRKAM, WOOP, LIME, CEMENT, PEKFUMKRY, NAILS, PCTTY, SPECTACLES AND HOUSE HAPISH. CHOCOLATE CAHAMEI.H AND TAR KOOFINO. GAS Frrrcxo AND UNDERTAKING IN ALL ITS P.RANLHES. HIDES, TU.I.oxv AND MAPLE SYRUP. FINK <>oi,n JEWELRY, SILVERWARE AND SALT. GLI'E, CODFISH, AND GENTS' NECKWEAR. UNDERTAKER AND CONFECTIONER. •^'DISEASES OF HORSES AND CHILDREN A SPECIALTY. JNO. WHITE, PM The flames spread rapidly,- until they threatened the Palace llink of our es­ teemed fellow-townsman, Mr. Pender­ gast, whose genial and urbane manner has endeared him to all. With a degree of forethought worthy of a better cause Mr. Leroy W. Butts suggested ihe propriety of calling out the hook and ladder company, an organ­ ization of which every one seemed to be justly proud.* Some delay endued in trying to find the janitor of Pioneer Hook and Ladder Company No. l's building, but at last he was secured, and after he hail gone home for the key Mr. Butts ran swiftly down the street to awake the foreman, but after he had dressed himself and inquired anxiously about the fire he said that he was not foreman of the company since the 2d of Apnl. Meantime the fire fiend continued to rise up ever and anon on his hind feet ami lick up salt-barrel after salt-barrel in close proximity to the Palace llink, owned by our esteemed fellow-citizen, Mr. Pendergast. Twice Mr. Pender­ gast was seen tp shudder, after which he went home and filled out a blank which he forwarded to the insurance company. Just as the town seemed doomed the hook and ladder company came rush­ ing down the street with their navy- blue hook and ladder truck. It is in­ deed a beauty, being one of the Excel­ sior noiseless hook and ladder factory's best instruments, with tall red pails and rich blue ladders. Some delay ensued, as several of the oflicials claimed that under a new by law passed in January they were per­ mitted to ride on the truck to fires. This having been objected to by a gen tleman who had lived in Chicago sev­ eral years, a copy of the by-laws was sent for and the dispute summarily set­ tled. The company now donned its rubber overcoats with great coolness and proceeded at once to deftly twist the tail of the fire fiend. It was a thrilling sight as James Mc Donald, a brother of Terrance McDon­ ald, Trombone, lnd., rapidly ascended one of the ladders in the full glare of the devouring element and fell off again. Then a wild cheer arose to a height of about nine feet, and all again became confused. It was now past 11 o'clock, and sev­ eral of the members of the hook and ladder company, who had to get up early the next day in order to catch a train, excused themselves and went home to seek much-needed rest. Suddenly it was discovered that the brick livery stable of Mr. Abraham McMichaels, a nephew of our worthy assessor, was getting hot. Leaving the Palace Rinlt to its fate, the hook and ladder company directed its attention to the brick barn, and, after numerous attempts, at last succeeded in getting its large iron prong fastened on the second-story window sill, which was pulled out. The hook was again in­ serted, but not so effectively, bringing down at this time an armful of hay and part of an old horse blanket. Another courageous job was made with the iron hook, which succeeded in pulling out about 5 cents worth of brick. This was greeted by a loud burst of applause from the bystanders, during which the hook and ladder company fell over each other and added to the horror of the scene by a mad burst of pale-blue profanity. It was not long before the stable was licked up by the fire fiend, and the hook and ladder company directed its atten­ tion toward the undertaking, embalm­ ing, and ice-cream parlors of our highly esteemed fellow-townsman, Mr. Bur­ lingame. The company succeeded in pulling two stone window-sills out of this building before it burned. Both times they were encored by the large and aristocratic audience. Mr. Burlingame at once recognized the efforts of the heroic firemen by tap­ ping a keg of beer, which he distrib­ uted among them at 25 cents uer glass. This morning a space forty-seven feet wide, where but yesterday all was joy and prosperity and beauty, is cov­ ered over with blackened ruins. Mr. Pendergast is overcome by grief over the loss of his rink, but assures us that if he is successful in getting the full amount of his insurance lie will take the money and build two rinks, either oue of which will be far more imposing than the one destroyed last evening. A movement is on foot to give a liter- art' and musical entertainment at Bur ley's hall to raise funds for the pur­ chase of new uniforms for the "fire laddies," at which Mrs. Butts has con­ sented to sing "When the Robins Nest ; >'*• Again" and Miss Merte Stout will re­ cite "'Ostler Joe," a selection which never fails to offend the best people everywhere. Twenty-five cents for each offense.. SL3T" Let there be a full honse.--Bill Nye. A Great Rendition. The country theater in Arkansaw has not attained, that excellence for which the stage in older communities is noted. In the backwoods part of this State the shallow pretence of a fight with swords is ridiculed. Some time ago, out at a little town endearingly known as Pot Licker, a troupe of hungry and much- worn players stopped and" decided to give a thrilling rendition of "Richard III." The people were delighted with the prospect o[ seeing a show, and with that unrestrained liberalty born of in­ tense desire, they were willing to pay almost any price ranging from fifteen cents to a quarter. The mayor w ent to see the rehearsal. He said but little until the sword fight took place. He could stand it BO longer. , « , . "Hold on," said the mayor. The retributive Richmond and the enraged Richard ceased tlieir slaughter, and re­ spectfully turned to the mayor. "Gentlemen," said the mavor, "vou ain't goin' ter fight with them tliar knittin'needles, air you?" "These are swords," said Richmond. "Bet your unhampered life, they are,, old man," observed the ham strums Richard. "You may call 'emswords,"themayor replied, "but they ain't good enough for chilun ter play with in the country. You'll have to fight with sutliin' else?' "We have nothiug else," Richmond pleaded. "The I'll git you a couple o' bowie-. knives, the very tiling ter make the scriminige look naehul. Say, hold on, I've got it. You'll use double-bar'l shot-guns. Them's the things that'll fetch dow n the house. We'll load 'em half way aliuos', and when you turn 'em loose, they'll soun' like suthin' had hap­ pened." "Shot-guns!" Richard gasped. "That's whut I said." "Preposterous, man. There were n,o shot-gnus in the days of the Three Eyed Dick--the days when Buckingham's buck jumped into the wheat field," the actor replied \»itli forced facetiousness. "Makes no difference, thar air shot­ guns now, an' we're linn' now an' not then." "We won't use guns," said Richmond. "Then you shan't play. Nobody ken come along an' put a * humbug "show- on us, let me tell you. We know what a good show is an' we won't put up with a bad one. I'll go over wh'ar you air puttin' up an' tell ole Baxter not to let you have notliin' ter eat lessen you pay for it in advance, an' mo'n that, I'll see that you walk outen this town in putty short order. Do you hear me?" They heard him. They knew that it was a case of compliance or starvation, so they agreed to fight with shot-guns. The house was crowded. When Richard and Richmond, both heavily armed, met each other, the audience broke forth into a cyclone of, raptuous applause. Bang! Bang! Bang--Bang! When the smoke cleared away, Richmond was seen rubbing powder out of his eyes, while Richard was ob­ served trying to extinguish a fire which had been ignited among the wrinkles of Iks tawdry raiment. The guns were no more. A fragment of one was sticking up among the rafters, while a mule which had been ridden by the tax assessor, lunged through the moonlight, carrying with him a piece of warm but uncongenial iron. It was indeed a great rendition, but the actors have never been the same men they j were before the thundering perform­ ance. Under the clear, delicate skin of Richmond's face can be seen many blue, great primer periods, together with a collection of commas and semi­ colons. His countenance still has a suggestion--a struggling reminder of its wonted frankness, but many of its classic lines are expunged. Richard is not likely to be himself again. He is destined to even remain some one else. He has but one eye and his nose is italicised. It used to be Roman, The leather ear which he wears is not handsome, but then it is tough and can stand a great deal of wear.--Arhanmw Traveler. An Indian Fairy Tale. Once upon a time there was a dwarf, so very small in size that when he killed a wren--all by himself, too-- he thought he was a hero in the first de­ gree. and strutted around in the grass as proud as if he had slain several braves of another tribe in single com­ bat. He had one-half of the wren--a fair half; none of your irregular fractions--cooked at once for a feast of the whole lodge, and told his sister to cure the skin, as he had a mind to make himself a feather coat. And by and by be did another wren to death, and then he got his coat. But happening to go to sleep one day in the sunshine the heat made the birds' skins shrivel up so that they be­ came quite uncomfortably small, and the dwarf was furious. He vowed he would pay the sun out. So he got his sister to plait a rope out of her hair, and having made a slip knot in it he pegged it down on the other side of the hill, close to the top of it, just where he had noticed the sun was accustomed to go up. And, sure enough, when the sun rose the next morning, it ran its head right into the slip-knot and got caught. The consternation in nature was prodigious until the dormouse re­ marking what was the matter, went and nibbled the plait through and re­ leased the luminary, whereupon every­ thing went on just as if nothing had happened. But the dwarf came home to his sister in high dudgeon. He was not going, he, said, to bother himself about suns any more. It was not worth his while. He had more serious matters to attend to. So he began preparation for going out on another wren hunt. Such, in the bald outline, is a red Indian "fairy story," which seems to me to illustrate fairly well the tone of the humor of the aboriginal American. The hero is a dw arf--and this is an essential point in the folk-jest of a people who consider a fine physique the first qualification of manhood--and in his pompous pursuit of very small birds, and subsequent inflation when he is successful in the chase, the leading characteristics of the red man are slyly burlesqued. He succeeds in an impossible exploit, and in the true spirit of the hero, makes no fuss about it; but when the sun is let go by the dormouse he affects to think such trifles as sun catching be­ neath him, and sets himself seriously to the task of killing another wren. There is a novelty in the flavor of this fooling and - a freshness of scene and circumstances that, so it appears tomes make the absurd storv attractive. X ILLINOIS STATE NEWS. K] Belleville Ferdinand Bei himself with a handkerchief from a b(MI only four feet from the floor. « --Fire in the Bosworth block at Tftgt* destroyed the militia armory, and resulted * ths deluging of the various offices and stores, causing a total loss of about $23,- 000. The State loses $1,500, and the militia company $2,000. --In the Circuit Court at Belleville, Ed­ ward Reynolds and Hugh Finerty, two men engaged in the recent railroad strifes* pleaded guilty to intimidation, and were fined $75 and costs each. William Holey and Johu Secard pleaded guilty to rioting, and were also fined. , --A man appeared on the streets of Belle­ ville with a placard on his breast announc­ ing that he was deaf and dumb and askitag passers-by for money. Late in the day a policeman found him lying in a gutter in an intoxicated condition. He attempted to lift the beggar to his feet, whereupon the deaf and dumb man burst forth in a loud volley of oaths which amazed the officer. --A woman of Henry ^Spunty brought from the South a 10-year-old negro giit a few months ago. One hot afternoon re­ cently she found the girl in the act of dis­ robing. Her horrified mistress ordered her to replace her garments. The girl protested that it was too hot to wear them. "What did yoU do in the South when it was hot?" asked the mistress. "I used to lay all day in de creek," was the reply. --The proposition that a young maa shoulder his knapsack and take a stick and enjoy a vacation of a month's tramping through the country would doubtless be re­ ceived as a joke. But it remains true that young men of intelligence can learn mora of the people aud of value to themselves < and gain more of manly vigor in a month by such method than by a whole summer at some fashionable resort. They will have no occasion to tire themselves out with forced marches, and the cost will be com­ paratively little if they will put up with the plain, homely fare of country places.-- Inter Ocean. --The case of Herman Miller, the youag Board of Trade man who shot himself night before last, is curious. Her* is a man 22 years of age--the age of hopefulness; a man who has apparently done nothing wrong; who is au athlete; who does not even smoke; who, so far as known, has no lovt affair; and who yet becomes despondent enough to attempt Suicide! What does It mean? Are the facts not yet secured, oris there a flaw in the ordinary reasoning that the young man who does right and exercises must be happy? Possibly something in heredity may fnrnish a clew toward solving the problem--only possibly. Chicago Tribune. --The official report of the officers in command of the Chicago police during the Haymarket riot last month show that thorn was one coward out of the force of 176 men engaged in the fight with the anarchists. This man was a newly appointed police* man, who fled to a friend's house not flur from the scene of the bomb-throwing. One exception to the rule of dauntless coursfls is certainly not enough to materially lessen the esteem in which the whole country holds the 'brave Chicago officers, and the name of that one indicates that he belonged to a nationality which forms but a part of the population of the United States, and does not adapt itself readily to Ameri­ can laws, customs or ideas.--Cleveland Leader. "Doppil" Glass Dr It is not at all uncommon newspapers accounts of cases and robbery. The records courts can give only a small _ the number of victims to this*very common method employed bv confidence men, thieves, and crooks of all kiuds and grades. The perpetrators of the villainytare seldom if ever traced out if the drugging is properly aud skillfully performed, and expoitue is next to impossible. By the police and among the sharks who work the business it is known as "doping.1* The nature of the "dope" itself, however, is not generally known. The most common method, and at the same time both sure aad effective, is the prepared glass. Oftentimes the very man who prepares it does not understand its use and imagines that a sim­ ple trick is to be played upon some regular customer of the house. A beer glass is usually used, although both wine and whisky glasses are kept reaiy for use as well. The barkeeper, for in­ stance. calls in a loafer to his plaee and gives him some strong Havana cigars. - Then handing him a wet beer glass, he bids the loafer blow smoke into it, as he wishes to make sicic a fellow known to them both. The tough lights up the cigar, and his continual blowing of uie smoke inside the glass coats it with a thlt» film, when it is set aside to dry. When completely dry it is ready for use, and none but a man who knew the trick and was looking for it could, with the closest inspec­ tion, detect anything wrong with the glass*.. It is almost as clear as a common glasgu; and yet far more effective in its purpoM , than the most subtle drag in the market. * ; ' i The class of men usually selected as vis-, I tims are not the hard-drinking class, M might be supposed; they are the casual •""} drinkers who drop into a saloou after theater, or the curiosity-seekers "doing I'hir % cago" after dark. They expose a roll of i bills, or are possessed of substantial gold " % watches, chains, and jewelry thai tempt th* cupidity of the "doper," who immediately. | gives a sign to his confederate in the busi- I ness. The victim drinks from the glass ' and maybe wanders to the next saloon aud ;i: obtains another drink. The ' doped" g glass, without taking away his senses eo* tirely, acts upon his brain and rob* ^7 him of his memory. He becomes d®. cile and can be led whither the leads* chooses, which is usually into some alleys way some distance from the saloon in whioli he was drugged. There he is despoiled of 3 his valuables; then taken to the door of % saloon, where the ' doper's" confederate ; ^ leaves him, after telling him to go in a od I that he will join him m a minute. The vie- ' tim may wander around until morning in - the streets or go to his home aad not out until morning that he has been robbed, 3 Oftentimes he is arrested, and, when 3 straightehed out at the station, maken tlie statement that he has drank but two ec '• three glasses of beer. He then complain* I of the loss of his property, but can not givn1 ;! any but a disconnected account of hW ramblings previous to meeting «ith the officer. The officer at the ' desk readily recognizes a victim of a " "doped" glass, and usually the unfortuuais man has pap?r* about him to prove hit;. claim to respectability. * ' ;Jf Property lost through this means i« se!» ;d dom recovered, as pride keeps the victim from risking notoriety and scandal through an attempt to regain it. Nine of every ten* g.'; saloons in the slums employ tbe "doped* " * * glass as an ally to increase their illicit rev* *•' enue, and even some of the palatial salocna that rank among the finest in th? city have Ihe "doped" glasses within easy reach when r "j occasion requires. The mere know ledg^ of how "•doping"is done is of almost 1 4* v protection whatever, as none but an ovjHri- .. «, j enced chemist could detect the slightest ' / difference in the taste of the intoxicant, not"t even if he were not a user of tobacco. ̂ cases records aly a small pewHHPPHt^ % w «• as