•• • • ] WW9Wk, I w ^Yfli?«Css< .-r. " • .'"'v';.: 8h&« "v 'llUMr mi w&m 1 latodealw ̂ j 1. VAN SLYKE. UNm anS Pa Mistier. r idcHENBY, ILLINOIS. *rK» iS • | ̂ life H. V-.;-'-• I" 1/ # - f e f >C . *> £,,v- R;: 3* $ |f Miss MAUD BANKS has been winning % great deal of success in New England ^during her two months of stage life. |Gen. Banks, her father, was not pleased Jto have his daughter adopt the life of sin actress, but of late has shown a "great deal of satisfaction at her success. At a performance of "Camille" recently :fae was moved to tears in the last act, and exclaimed, with emotion, "It is great 1" . , | GEH. BEAVER, Governor-elect of ' .Pennsylvania, during his recent cam* . paign was asked by a colored editor to subscribe for the Pittsburgh Broad-axe. % Tlio price is $1 a year. Gen. Beaver fylhanded the editor $20, expecting $19 !5|Sn change. He was presented with the • ' following: "Received of . Gen. Beaver, jpilfor twenty years' subscription, $20." "'If you're dead the paper'11 still go on," ' < ,»aid the colored man to the astonished .Oeneral. , THE circus fakirs call everybody » ^'guys." Some---the more important • ; persons--are designated as "main guys." -; ̂ Countrymen ore "jays" and "hayseeds," ""blokes" and "suckers.". Money is ^ ^'bunt," "tin," or "cases." Beer or other brinks are spoken of as "lush," clothes •as "togs," or "harness," food as "grub," -conversation as "weedings," the verb to eee is rendered "stag," eyes are called /'ogles,", a hat a "dicer" or a "cady," while ladies are spoken of as "dames," ,girls as "moll," argument as "guff," , '-clowns as "joeys," and bank bills as "flimsies." F. A. CLOUDMAN, a Newburyport .skipper, is going to make a tour of the globe from east to west in a 30-foot yawl. Capt. Cloudman is now pre paring his boat for the voyage, and will start in about ten days for Panama. He will cross the Isthmus, proceed up the whole coast of North America and "by Belirings Strait down the Asiatic •continent, around to Suez and through •the Mediterranean to Gibraltar. He will return home by way of the Shet land Islands, Iceland, and possibly - Greenland, occupying at least two years, and possibly three, in his journey He goes in the interest of a monthly ' magazine. IT has been predicted that within five years the magnesium light will be as familiar a sight in many places as the -electric, light is to-day. Only the high cost of magnesium has hitherto kept it from extensive use, and its price, which was $40 a pound a few years ago, is said to have been reduced to $8 a pound by a new German process, with the prospect of still further cheapening. A wire of moderato size equals the light of seventy-five steal'ue candles, making sthe cost at present but little more than iihat of gas, while no expensive works •or street mains are required for its use, The magnesium is simply burned in lamps provided with clockwork move ment to feed the ribbon*of metal regu larly. A MOST amusing scene to philosophic ^spirits recently occurred at a London •Court in a litigation concerning the ;.ownership of a donkey. The presiding Judge, borrowing a hint from Solomon and the Caliphs of Bagdad, had the •animal brought into Court to test the allegation of the defendant that it would «at bread or vegetables offered it "with : Xiord Salisbury's compliments," but • would reject the same with symptoms •of loathing and contempt when Mr. "Gladstone was named as the donor. As "it happened, the wily quadruped, when challenged by the claimant, not only de voured indiscriminately the Troy and Xiiberal carrots, showing no partisan ; spirit whatever, but, when the experi ment was acknowledged a failure set up «uch mixed notes of exultation and pro test that the magistrate, deafened by 4he outrageous bray, summarily dis missed the claim. R f . . I- ' £ ' fe/i". A NEW YORK tailor has invented a .^garment which he expects to bring him fortune, because he thinks it responds jto a crying need of the times. If it were "for use in a stable, it would be called by the homely btre expressive term, a bellyband, but as it is for use by man, Jit is known as a waist-compressor. It sis a broad belt of linen, fitted with -curved whale-bones in front and with buckles and straps behind, and is in- Intended to reduce the figures of corpu lent men. This tailor has discovered, •tor thinks he has, that corpulency is de veloping to a tremendous extent in !New York, and that most men of glob- „jular appearance in ffont are ashamed •of their appearance, and will suffer any ^amount of torture to reduce or flatten 'their rotundity. He advises those who "have wives or valets to employ them in latching them compressors as tight as they can bear the pressure. Bachelors too poor to do this must get along with less compression. The compressor has %een on sale a year or more, and is •jmostly used by men of aldermanic di mensions whenever they put on their dress suits. T CLAUS SPBECKELS explains the rup ture between himself and the King of •lie Sandwich Islands by the statement that, the King is at present influenced "by gin-drinking adventurers who have Bothing to lose and . everything to gain by the escapades they lead him into. He further asserts that the King is a man who cannot be led by reason, but «san be ruled by the gin bottle, which is liis divinity. The King is paid $50,000 ...'jb year, his Queen $10,000, the heir pre sumptive the same, one royal princess $15,000, another $5,000, His Majesty's chamberlain $7,000, while $20,000 is flowed in addition for household ex penses. The King's extravagant tastes, prompted by the advisers, lead him to endeavor to float enormous loans, ferhich must lead the kingdom to bank- "iruptcv. Sprockets' influence led to a defeat in the .Legislature of an attempt to obtain sanction for the floating of a $10,000,000 loan, but has recently been unequal to the effort to defeat a $2,000,- 000 loan, and he and the King have finally split. The King is now playing into the hands of the English. Special fundB for which the kingdom is liable., to individual native depositors and to the Japanese Government have, Spreckels claims, been squandered. AT one of the President's recent re ceptions one gray-headed gentleman, whose long white beard extended below the bottom of his waistcoat, placed his mouth close to the President's ear and said in a voice loud enough to be heard in the most extreme corner of the room: "Yon are the best President this country has ever had, and the people in my section of Pennsylvania are stronger than ever for you." The man was quite deaf and really thought he was whispering. Mr. Cleveland found considerable difficulty in making himself understood in replying to the compli ment, and as a last resort was com pelled to indicate his appreciation by a vigorous and repeated nodding of the head. There was one small boy who, as he took the President's hand, said to him that he had once met him in New York. Mr. Cleveland looked at the lad for a full minute, then called him by name and mentioned the time and place the little boy had called upon him. The President's faculty for re membering names and faces is remark able. The boy had called to see him with his mother on last Decoration Day, when the President was stopping at the Gilsey House, and had seen him but for a minute or two. THE statistics of the world's produc tion of sugar shows that there is a steady and large annual increase. The amount of cane sugar produced in the season of 1885-6 was 2,905,000 tons, an increase of 733,000 tons over that of 1884-5, and 1.078,583 tons over that of 1875-6. Cuba led the list with 600,000 tons this season, which was a falling off of 27,000 tons from the year before, and 61,058 tons less than in 1875-6. There was also a decrease in the product of Java, the next greatest source of supply, of 60,000 tons from the yield of 1884-5. But in the pro duction of almost all other cane-grow ing countries there has been, as shown by the totals, a marked advance. The yield of beet-root sugar (2,014,000 tons this season) has fallen off 501,000 tons from the last annual report, but com parison with the statistics of 1875-6 shows a growth of 702,689 tons in ten years. These reports do not recognize glucose and grape sugar, or sorghum sugar or maple sugar, and are evidently made up from the basis of commercial statistics concerning the sugar that has entered the market. Beyond this there are vast quantities of cane sugar pro duced for domestic use in all tropical countries and consumed by the pro ducers and their immediate neighbors, which do not enter into the computa tion. The most tiotftble increase in any country is in the beet-root sugar yield of Russia, which has grown from 222,- 000 tons in the season of JSZ&-6 and 386,000 tons in 1884-5 up to 525,000 tons in 1885-6. AT the Washington (D. C.) night school, when it opened for the winter, ib was found necessary to exclude all over 40 years of age. While the prin cipal was going over the list and pick ing out those over 40 the other teachers were going on with their classes. In one room there was a line of about twenty persons reading in the primer. It was a strange sort of primary class. Some of them had gray hair, some of them, like "Old Uncle* Ned,"had "no wool on the top of his head." There were wrinkled faces and wise-looking old eyes peering at the book through big spectacles. A diminutive little teacher was drilling this class in "a-b- libs." Some of tli9 old pupils had a great deal of difficulty in understand ing how it came to pass that i-s spelled "is." When the announcement was made that all over 40. years old would be excused, there was consider able consternation among the old folks. Some of them suddenly discovered that they had given their ages wrong, and began to revise the figures. Some were indignant. "What you have day school fo'?" said one old lady. "Dey is fo' the young folks. 'Pears to me old folks got no chance nowadays. Dey isn't let into de day, and now dey turn 'em out of the night school." "I was doing right well," said one merry-look ing eld woman, "and I'm mighty sorry that I can't stay in school. I went to the night school last winter and gdt into the second reader. All I want to do is to learn to read my Bible. Thg. Bible is a mighty hard book to read." ; ' Expressing His Feelings. A ---- man whose matrimonial life had been anything but happy in conse quence of the quarrelsome habits of his wife, who thus contrived to keep him constantly in hot water with the neigh bors, was at last relieved of her com pany by death. As the widower's means were limited, the funeral was plain, but respectable enough to satisfy any reas onable relative. Tlie brother of the deceased lady, however, was not a rea sonable man; and on the return of the mourners to the house he ridiculed the funeral, said that it was mean, unde monstrative, and so quiet that all the neighbors must have considered it nig gardly. "Yes, it was rather quiet," responded the widower; "but what did you ex pect? Did yon want me to show my submission to the decree of Providence in re moving, my late lamented spouse by closing the funeral with a display of fire-works? I did think of a cheerful display of some sort, but abandoned the idea because I feared the neighbors might talk about it, and say that I was giving too much expression to mjr feel ings."--Harper*X Maqcuine* A v.-.- To PROTECT one's self against the storms of life, marriage with a good woman is a harbor in the tempest; but with a bad womaa it *4eaapest in tiie harbor. * " <*• * THE WASHINGTON FLY. A Contest with a Solitary Specimen ii tlM Hiwca Domestic*. By ait hour of exhausting toil I suc ceeded in ejecting all the flies in my room but one, and sat down to my work with the cheerful knowledge that, even if I did lack fresh air, I would be able to cope with that fly. Jn about half a minute, as I was deep in a com plex sentence, he took a fancy to swoop down from the ceiling, alight on my manuscript, and see what I was doing. He was about a quarter of an inch long, had a drab body, two rainbow wings, six black legs, and a ntat-brown head, with two silver stripes down the middle. It occurred to him first that ink might be palatable, and so he took a light dip from a fresh dot placed over, and then proceeded to dot another which I had overlooked. Then he pro ceeded to polish his eyes and remove the dusty consequences of our late strugg?e. To do this he employed his front legs and hind legs, balancing him self upon the two middle ones. Having collected the dust on the calves of his legs he spent a few minutes in twisting and braiding these useful members, by which variety of massage I suppose he preserves their activity, and then, be ing clean and limbered up, he was ready for business. Vaulting lightly into the air he took h series of musical turns around the room, using my left ear as a mile post, and seeing how close he could come without touching it. Then he lit on the top of my head and went through some complicated evolu tions with apparent great relish, re turning cheerfully every time I brushed him away. r Then he occupied his mind a few moments balancing on the butt of my pen, with evident enjoy ment of his slow ride across the lines and the periodical excursion to the ink stand. When I paused for an idea he would assist the flow of thought by standing on his head and flourishing his heels in a ribald manner, and on my ob jecting to that threw several somersets and tried to give me strabismus by alighting on the summit of my nose. Then he thought it would be funny to climb down the back of my neck and dodge out again in the nick of time, then sail over to the window and ex change winks with the baffled flies out side. After an hour of these pleasant di versions I laid my literature aside and declared war. The fly evidently thought he could coax me into going out for a stepladder, for he took refuge on the ceiling, and expressed his contempt for my hostile maneuvers by calmly polishing his goggles acd braid ing his hind legs in a double twist. I got the broom and a wet towel, but whenever I made a bull's-eye he would fail to be on hand. Then iie led me a circling chase around the room, and tried to induce me to smash $3 worth of glass by frolicking on the upper saSli. Finally he disappeared, and I settled down to work with en thusiasm, but just as I struck an un usually tangled skein of rhetoric he re sumed his perch on the end of my pen, fresher and more insolent than ever. I had heard that tobacco and flies did not agree, so I lighted the blackest pipe I could find, but that fly frolicked through the fog as though he had at last found something he could really enjoy. I then got a lump of sugar and soaked it in hotel whisky, which is somewhat less deadly than prussic afcid, but which I shrewdly conceived would at least weaken that fly's intel lect and enable me to capture him alive. I set out the sugar and pre tended to be absorbed in my subject. For half an hour the fly refused to notice it, but finally his curiosity got the better of his judgment and he went for it. His method of taking a drink was to unfurl a species of black hose with a sucker on the end of it and in sert this with great dexterity between the crystals. I kept perfectly still. He took one toddy and braided his hind legs, took another drink and braided his forelegs, took a third drink and polished his eyes, took a fourth drink and gave himself a rubbing down all over. I expected every minute to see • him , curl up and die in great agony, for I know what Washington whisky is, but the more toddies he took the more frisky he grew. Finally, I thought I would Avait until he got sleepy, and then I would steal softly up and accomplish his ruin. I waited in vain. Having filled himself up with tlie exhilarating beverage I had prepared, that fly en tered upon a shameless course of de pravity which eclipsed the wildest efforts of his sober moments. He seemed to view my having set up the drinks in the light of a cordial approval of all his previous actions, and now proceeded to whoop things up and show me what he could really do. He threw somersets backwards and forwards, he tied his legs up in hard knots, and raveled them again with amazing rapidity, executed a pirouet on my pen and cracked his heels together, climbed over each particular hair of my head, used my eyebrows as a door-mat, pre tended to think my ear was a telephone, and skated down the bridge of my nose. I have seen liquor bring out the devil try of the cowboy and make an Apache deliriously blood-thirsty and cruel; but never have I seen depravity break so utterly loose as it did in that intoxi cated Washington fly. The Major came in and, after I had explained the situ ation, took a hand in the chase, and then Dick entered and superintended-- Dice's specialty is superintending when there is any active labor on hand--and after one hour the Major succeeded in winging that fly with a wet towel, and then forgot himself and threw open the window awl let in about 700 more. Farmers Can Raise Their Own Trout There are . many farmers who own trout streams, and" would like to have them restocked, and some others very feebly attempt to do it by putting in a few thousand young fish. This would restock a small stream if it were done every year for some years. But it is folly to suppose that a large stream, which has been fished for years, and thousands taken from it every year, can be restocked quickly by putting in a few hundred, or even a few thousand young fry. It is much easier to stock a stream than to raise.fish in ponds, be cause the young fish will take care of themselves much better than any one din take care of them, and if they are protected from danger until they are abont forty-five days old--which is about the time the fish culturist takes charge of them--until they are ready to feed, they are then tolerably able to look out for themselves. In stocking a stream with trout, the young fiBh should be taken to its headwaters, or put into the springs and little rivulets which empty into it. As they grow larger they will gradually settle down stream, and run up again to the headwaters in the fall and winter to spawn. When putting fifth into a stream do «ot put them suddenly into witter much warmer than that of the vessel in which they have been transported. They will hot be so likely to be injured by putting them in water a few degrees colder; but try to avoid all sudden changes, and gradually raise or lower the temperature of the water in which you bring them, until it is even yrtth that of tlie stream in which they are to be placed. Perhaps in no branch of fish culture arecthe results more imme diate or more apparent than in restock ing streams. Very many island streams that were once inhabited bv trout are now wholly depleted, not only of that fish, but of all others. They are beauti ful, sparkling little streams, but so far as a food-producing element goes, they are valueless, and in a large majority of cases they make a wonderful return for the restocking. No brook that lias onoe contained trout need be without them if the waters remain pure and cold. I be lieve there are no waters more satisfac tory to stock than brook trout streams, because they are always before you. In stocking waters w ith shad or salmon they migrate to the ocean, and only re turn once a year for the purpose of spawning; with salmon-trout and white- fish they stay most of the time in the deep waters of our lal-es; but brook- trout remain where they are placed, grow, and are caught among the resi dents, and contribute directly to the support and amusement of the people. --Seth Green, in •American Agricul turist. : Geronimio and Dave Jones. "lonly want ten cents, sir, to buy me something to stay my stomach," said the man with a bald spot on the top of his head. "I .wouldn't ask that of a stranger but for my misfortune." "Family all dead of some epidemic, I suppose?" " ' "No, sir. I never had a family, and as for epidemics they have no use for me. Stand off and tako a square look at me, and then tell me where an epi demic would begin business on the Hon. Davison Jones." "It would be a poor show," mused the reporter. "How came you to be an Hon.?" "Used to be a member of the Arizona Legislature, sir. The Speaker of the House used to recognize me as the gentleman from Ehrenburg." "Well, what is your misfortune?" "Scalped by the Apaches, sir. In deed, I had the honor of almost, being scalped by Geronimo himself, ill tell you about it. I was out on my^gattle- ranch in Arizona one day when Gero nimo first broke away from the reser vation. That was five years ago. I was suddenly surrounded by thirty Apache bucks, and was at once con ducted into the presence of the noted chief. " 'Good morning, Gerry,' says I. " |Good morning, Dave,' says he. "You see we were on good terms, and addressed each other by our given names. I asked him what was up, and he told me he had started out on the war-path, and that my scalp would be number one. I took it as a joke at first and tickled Gerry in the ribs, but he soon convinced me that he was in dead earnest. His braves wanted to have some fun with me by cutting off my ears and nose, burning me at the stake, and so on, but Gerry shook his head and replied: " 'Not this eve, my bully boys. Dave Jones is a square man, and although I must have his scalp to ornament my belt, he shan't be hurt any more than is positively necessary. > Who's got that can of laugliing-gas ?' "A buck brought' it forward, and Gerry asked me to sit on the ground and take the tube and inhale the stuff. It was exactly like what the dentist use, and you will agree with me, sir, that it was very kind in Gerry. I thanked him warmly for what he was about to do, and then proceeded to inhale. The last thing before my eyes was a buck sharpening his knife on his leggings and winking at me with his left eye. There was a roaring in my ears, my eyes closed, and when I recovered con sciousness Gerry had my scalp in his hand and was saying: " 'Come, now, Dave, but I really be lieve it has improved your looks 50 per cent.' "The operator didnt hnrt me a cent's worth for the first ten minutes, but after that the pain was pretty bad. You see, the buck w-ho scalped me was a little rusty for want of work with his knife, and ho had taken considerable more than the Injun custom called for. Gerry gave him a blowing up about it, saying that it was reckless extravagance to waste a man's scalp in that manner, but as I didn't kick the storm soon blew over. Gerrv furnished me with a rag to tie over the spot until I reached home and advised me not to be out in the night air for the next ten days. We parted the best of friends. He carried off m v scalp-lock, but he had no hard feelings toward me. It was just his Injun way, you know. Owing to the weather the wound didn't heal up properly, and the result has been fits and loss of mental pchver. I didn't want but ten oents, sir." He got it.--Detroit Free Press. Calico. The calico marie years ago, says the trade journal. Fiber and Fabric, would wear twice as long without washing as the modern calico. More substance in actual fiber is w hat is wanted to regain popularity. Another reason is the low pries that wool has ruled at for several years past, enabling our manufacturers to make woolen dress goods at a very low figure, and these goods do not re quire washing. Some may think they absorb just as much dirt without show ing it, but they do not. Cotton warp goods w ith combed wool filling can now be sold almost as cheap as oaiico used to be sold for. But let clean wool again run up to $1 and over and calico would again be more in demand. It might be in its new form and under the more fascinating name of sateen, which is but the same fabric with the same material and process of printing, only it is wove on three, four, cr five harness, which enables the manufacturer to make what we call a warp or satin face. Sateen is, in wearing parlance, "quarter satin"-- both these fabrics take their name from the method or meaning of weaving. Satin is wove on sixteen harness, with fifteen threads up every time a tilling pick is thrown in; while sateen is wove on four harness, usually with three warp threads up every time a filling pick goes in. All observers will have noticed that satin will not hold dust, and will repel all kinds of dirt, although silk in other weaves, such as gros-graius, will catch and hold, not only dust, but any foreign substance. Cotton does not have the repelling power of silk, because it is not so dense or so lustrous, but it is a quick absorber of moisture, and has an equal affinity for dirt. ILLNESS is often produced, cions say, by eatiqj long-frozen poultry. hysi- «b4 POPtfLAB SCIENCE," Tin? coldest place known is at Work- hojanck Siberia, observations made during 1885 giving the mean tempera ture of the year as 1 degree F., of the month of January as 56 degrees below zero, and the lowest temperature of the same month as 90 degrees below. BEES are said to have such an antpi- athy to dark-colored objects that black chickens have been stung to death while the white ones of the same brood were untouched, and a man in a black plug hat is rarely stung on account of the attention the bees give to the hat. MANY persons begin to show gray hairs While yet in their twenties, and some while in their teens. This does not by any means argue a premature decay of the constitution. It is a purely local phenomenon, and may coexist with unusual bodily vigor. The cele brated author and traveler, George Borrow, turned quite gray before he was 30, but was an extraordinary swimmer and athlete at 65. DR. LAPTCHINKSKI has been making a series of experiments upon dogs, for the purpose of ascertaining the proper treatment of persons who have been frozen. He found that of twenty an.'- mals treated by the method of gradual resuscitation in a cold room, fourteen perished; of twenty placed at once in a warm room, eight died; while twenty put immediately into a hot bath re covered quickly and without accident. THE great glacier of Alaska is said to bo moving at the rate of a quarter of a mile per annum toward the sea. The front presents a wall of ice some 500 feet in thickness; its breadth varies from three to ten miles, and it is about 150 miles long. Almost every quarter of an hour hundreds of tons of ice, in large blocks, fall into the sea, which they agitate in the most violent manner, the waves being such as to toss about the largest vessels that approach the glacier, as if they were small boats. THE air of the sea, taken at a great distance from land, or even on the shore and in ports when the wind blows from the open, is in an almost perfect state of purity. Near continents the land winds drive before them an atmos phere always impure, but at 1(M) kilo meters from the coasts this impurity has disappeared. The sea rapidly puri fies the pestilential atmosphere of con tinents, hence every expanse of water of a certain breadth becomes an abso lute obstacle to the propagation of epi demics. Marine atmospheres driven upon land purify sensibly the air of the regions which they traverse. MB. A. SANSON, in an article in a re cent number of the Revue Scientijifjue, states that, from a comparison of animal and steam power, in France at least, the former is the cheaper motor. In the conversion of chemical to mechan ical energy 90 per cent, is lost in the machine, against 68 in the animal. He finds that the steam horse power, con trary to what is generally believed, is often materially exceeded by the horse. The cost of traction on the Montparnasse-Bastille line of railway he found to be for each car, daily, 57 francs, while the same work done by the horse cost only 47 francs; and he believes that, for moderate powers, the conversion of chemical into mechanical energy is more economically effected through animals than through steam engines. Death-lied Visions. At is better to know the truth, Dr« T. T. Spencer has observed in reference to phenomena of death, than to cherish a belief, however pleasing it be, founded on error. The traditions and superstitions of the past have Jed .to a popular belief in the theory that the beatific visions which often come to the dying are momentary views of those mysteries hitherto unknown; but sci ence, with its iconoclastic hand, has swept away the pleasing fancy, and in its place has constructed a fabric founded on analogy. Anaesthetics and asphyxia from drowning or charcoal fumes often produce disordered fancies exactly like those preceding death, and the natural inference is that they re suit in both cases from one and the same cause. "During the last moments of life the mind gradually loses cogui zance of external surroundings, and is rapt in self-contemplation. Though still in a semi-conscious condition, the weeping of friends and the voices of attendants fall upon dull ears. The eyelids are closed, the pupils slightly contracted and rolled upward and in- ward. The dying man has forgotten the present, for he is living in the past. One by one the events of a whole life appear, its joys and sorrows perchance long since forgotten, rise be fore him in startling distinctness, and then disappear in the swiftly-moving panorama. The familiar faces of the friends of his youth are thrown upon the mental retina, their cheery voices reverberate in his ears, and the thought of meetiug these friends in the' near future is perhaps the last conscious im pression. As this drowsiness creeps over the system, these images, molded from the past, become* as realities to the disordered imagination. The germs from which originate these strange combinations have probably been lying dormant for years in the registering ganglia of the brain." Exaggeration. The number of "white lies" told by those who are supposed to be truthful is remarkable. They simply excuse tlreiuaelves t>a the ground of didn't think. It is amusing to see some people try to tell the truth. They give a slight cough and clear their throats. Then they draw a long breath, there is a twinkle in the eyes, their cheeks color and they stammer because they are afraid they will get everything exactly correct. Old offenders are not easily caught. Indeed, some become so in sensible to the difference between truth and falsehood, having told a false one, that they believe the false account to be the true one and the true the false one. Forty cats in a fight means abont two. A hundred times is six or seven times. It's pitch dark is more than half the time twilight or starlight. Fish and snake stories know'ho limits to time and space. A million steps usually proves to be a good many less than a million. The following story is told as an actual fact, and is warranted not to be exaggerated: An old minister, who was noted for exaggeration at all times and in evefy conceivable manner, was one day called to account by his little flock. A com mittee appointed and properly cre- dentialed, waited upon the man of un- guided and unchecked amplifying ability, to solicit from him • a promise to ever after be more watchful of his weakness in that one respect. In an swer, denoting true penitence^ for the wrong already committed, he said with team in his eyes: < "I have shed bar'ls and bar'ls ontoara over that bad habit" JOHH XORGAH. pow the Noted Confederate HnJ der Met kit Dentil. Morgan made his last raid into Ken tucky in 1804. He started in the latter part .of May, and for several months committed his acts of lawlessness with out molestation of any account. But in the latter part of August he committed an act that led to his death. The Fed erals had made an attempt on some c* his troops stationed at East Tennessee, which led him to believe that some one was carrying information to the enemy. While stopping at Greenville, the home of the late President Johnson, and the place where he was killed a few days later, he revoked the parole of a wounded Union officer, who was a mem ber of Gen. Gillem's staff. The officer stopping at the house of Mrs. Williams, who was an ardent sympa thizer with the South. She had a daughter-in-law, Mrs. Lucy Williams, who was a fierce hater of the South and a devoted friend of the Union. This woman was in the habit of carrying news to the Union soldiers at Bull's Gap, some twenty miles away, where Gen. Gillem's command was stationed. The captured officer, while - under parole, had written a letter to Gen. Gillem, giving the number, condition and position of Morgan's forces. This letter he addressed to Mrs. Lucy Will iams and placed it m the family Bible. Here one of Morgan's officers discovered it. John Morgan at once sent the author to Lynchburgh as a prisoner of war, in spite of the indignant protest of Mrs. Lucy Williams. From that hour she resolved to compass Morgan's death or capture. September 3, 1864, Morgan put his forces in motion, his objective point being to capture or drive out the Union forces in Bull's Gap. His command, numbering about 1.500, reached Green ville about 4 in the afternoon. Here Morgan resolved to camp during the night. The troops camped on all sides of the town, and pickets were carefully stationed on all the roads to prevent a surprise. Morgan and his staff estab lished headquarters in the town at the house of the elder Mrs. Williams. They retired to rest early. During the'night the younger Mrs. Williams left the house and passed out through the Con federate lines. She discovered an im portant road, that by some oversight had not been picketed. , She rode Swiftly to Bull's Gap and notified Gen. Gillem of Morgan's whereabouts. He detailed an advance guard of about 100 Tennes- seeans to go to Greenville at once 'under Mrs. Williams' guidance, and surprise Morgau, while he followed with the main body to assail the rebels in force. The Tennesseeans reached the outposts early in the morning, and succeeded in passing them on the neg lected road, and dashed into the town without being discovered. They knew where tli^ir game was under cover, and they proceeded at once to Mrs. Will iams' residence. From this point, Capt. F. T. John son thus details Morgan's death: "I was with Gen. John W. Morgan when he was killed at Greenville, Tenn. I was an orderly on his staff, and a mere boy. We camped at Greenville and were stopping at the house of Mrs. Williams, one of whose family betrayed us to the Federals. Five or six of ns were sleeping on the second floor, when we were awakened by tiring in the streets. Mrs. Williams yelled, 'The Yankees are com ing!' I ran into Gen. Mor gan's room. He had been lying on the bed with only a part of his clothes off. His pistols were always at hand, and he was up, dressed and armed in an in stant. An officer was sent down to in spect, and returned in an instant and reported that the streets were full of Federal cavalry, and there was but little chance of escape, except by the back way. It was resolved to make the effort, because the General believed it was only a dash of the enemy, and his troops would soon rally to the rescue. As we came d6wn-stairs the cavalrymen began thundering at the front door. We ran out the back door into the garden. Capt. Rogers and myself kept near to Gen. Morgan. The garden was quite large and contained an arbor and a number of trees and grapevines. We crowded down in the vines and soon discovered by the dim light of the early dawn that troops had been picketed around the garden and escape was impossible. We got a little dis tance apart so as to avoid attracting at tention. The troops were yelling and firing, and a small detachment of our men entered the town but were driven back; but Morgan never said a word. "The soldiers had already entered tlio garden, and we could not speak without being heard. I saw it was use less to try to escape, and as they ap proached I stood np and surrendered, hoping to call attention from Gen. Morgan. I was not fired at. I saw a man approaching Gen. Morgan, with his gun ready to fire. The General stood up and was evidently about to surrender himself, when the soldier fired and shot him through the heart." Tired or City Life. A young man who is now sojourning in the Arkansaw penitentiary, writes as follows to his father: MY DEAR PAP :--As everybody has gone to bed I thought I would write to you, thankful to say that I am enjoyin' the same blessin'. I uster think that I would like to live in town, l>ut now I've got enough of it. I'd rut her plow with a jumpin' coulter than to stay in this place. Ain't had a drink of licker sense I left home. If you oan manage to slip me a bottle by the next man that comes down you'd be doin' a big thing fur me. Has Bob Cauey sold the horse 1 stole from him? Wusli I was out of here. We have preaclun' of Sun days, but we ain't had no revival yit. How I would like to l>e at home an' tap the old jug. Unless I am pardoned I don't reckon I'll ever sell another vote. It's bad fur a man jest at the besrinnin' of his career of usefulness to lose his citizenship. Votes air gettin' to be worth more every year. A feller that come in yistiday evenin' tells me that down where lie lives you can git putty fair licker for 5 cents a drink. He seems to regret having come to this place. He stabbed a feller an' will have to sarve twenty-one years. It's a long time to do without licker. How I'd like to come home on' make a pass at an old-foshione4 b'iled dinner an' then, in the evenin' walk over to the" still-house. Oh. but it makes me sad to think about it"--Arkansaw Traveler: She Wants the Pistol. In nearly every instance wherein a man has committed suicide in Phila delphia by shooting himself the widow has appealed to the Coroner for the weapon. And the strangest part of the phenomenon is that she cannot explain why she wants it. All she can say in replv to the Coroner's inquiry is: ILLINOIS STATE --White grabs have been i ter wheat in Sangamon County. --A pet crow at Sandwich spare moments in catching mice. --Tha police court at Waffri^p I had a case for trial for over two: --Captain J. H. Hadspath. it Kepublican poljticisn of Marion i dead. --Representative Springer, of hasleased a house in Washington fog| term of years. --Mrs. Ursula Kendall died at aged 64. She was one of the oldeqfcl dents of the place. --Vermilion County has aon war sioners than any other county in the except Cook. The number is 601. --In 1890 Chicago will have "decl into a city of a million or more inha without counting its suburbs.--Tribune- --The Grand Army posts of Mc eiy County organized a county i for the purpose of reunions, at Hill --Fanner City people claim that have as good a calaboose as any town of ! size in the ooaatty. It eost $2,000. --James Mc&amara, formerly Major Freeport, who applied for the Governor-^! ship of Dakota, has been appointed an InM diaa Agent in Arizona. --The State-House Commissioners nounce that the repairs of the building w9ff be completed before the time of the m*et||| ing of the Legislature. --Clayton's hardware store at Pittsfield was robbed of a quantity of goods SnndayjL night. The safe was ruined in an inefftectIgf ual attempt to open it. --The livery stable of Boyt & McFat- 1 eridge at Vienna, Johnson County, wa^l'f burned, together with twenty horses. Lo£s||§|l $5,000; insarance, $2,000. --In the Wabash County Circuit Court^ at Mount Carmel, Judge Bcggs sentenced f| Jacob Ward to forty-eight years' imprison-* ment for killing Joiin R. Pickard. - ^ ,S-' o'jiCj --"Silver pitchers for presentation f bridal couples can be had of us as low as f j $2,- and they will wear well for months,1' advertises a Chicago firm. ' 1' --Next year's Illinois State Fair will W held dating the week beginning September , . 26. The i:lnce at which it is to be h£lflf. iwill be decided by the Stage, Board of 'i; ricultore in January. - -The Governor of Illinois has vsued aa^ j order complimenting Gen. Fite-Simonaff and his officers and men for the pruden^ ^ shown in their recent active service at fb» ; Union Stock Yards. --The trick of grabbing diamonds and , making off with them might possibly suffer ' a check if the diamond clerk were in the , habit of having a loaded revolver quite handy for use on such occasions.--Chicago : i Journal. '"""V-iffi . . . .'.••v; --David Roupe, near Dry Grove, |is ^ , been very unfortunate hi his efforts to v cure water for his cattle. He lias dug eight wells from sixty to eighty feet deep, sad still, has to drive his stock three miles tfe ̂ get water. ^ --A burglar partly broke open a safe ^ jewelry store on West Madison street,. cago, and fell asleep while taking a iwt. The jeweler came in from the theater soon • afterward, and the slumbering robber wast ^ easily captured. --Twenty years ago G. R. Pan waft:- elected Superintendent of the Cumberland^ Presbyterian Church at Salem, Marion County, and he has held the office ever • since. S. S. Chance, Mrs. Ruth Chance^ and D. W. Patterson, teachers Mr. Pan appointed the day ha was first elected, are still teachers. During these twenty year# the church has lost by death three minis* ters and thirty-seven members. --A representative of one of the biggest̂ ! breweries in Chicago gives the following figures: The quantity of beer sold amuMijU ;:- ly in Chicago is, on an average, 1,560,009 barrels, of which 572,000 ars sold by th# Milwaukee brewers represented here. Thift quantity yields 624,000,C03 glasses of beer* > * Taking the population of the city at 700,tC /If 000, the average would be 890 glasses of] ^ beer a year for each individual, man,, wf woman, or child. The saloonkeepers pay,;;:',-1; to the brewers about $9,360,000 a year* J: Placing the number of saloons af 3,570» s which pay a license of $1,785,000 a year* the license for each barrel would come to ^ $1.14. -- Most Board of Trade men have been '"ill fast in their day--indeed many of them ar#^ fast now. There is One old fellow who be* lieves that every boy w^o is of any account must be more or less fast in his time; «*d A as luc'i will have it this old fellow has » son who is a very model of propriety, ^ This fact, of course, endears him to hia- mother's heirt; but not to his father's. few dajs ugo h 3 took occasion to express his opiuion of the boy in the following^/ rather unique manner: "Wife,"he said*, ": you know I've always said that when vttt got a fool I'd make a minister of him^ v^ w-i! " ~'^e -got cur minister."--Cnicuffv % Rambler. --Senator Logan tells a joke on himself. The joke is also on a new and green guidsb.'^ at the Capitol building, who came up to the^#f General and wanted to sell him a guide* book. The General was in good humor, and stoppeJ. The id^a of his being taken, • fOr a stranger at the Capitol pleased him.§ i He amused himself for several minutesi: .. asking the Dew guide questions, and look- • ing with apparent interest at the pictures in the guide-book. A friend of the new " guide seeing bim at work edged-up toward ^ them to listen to what was being said. a moment he caught the spirit of the con- Vf? versatiou. and catching his guide friend hj^P* thecoat, he said: "Come off. Don't be all fool. That old Indian was aroand th*i;: H Capitol before you was bom." -"Tue State militia who did MTriee the Stock Yards during the recent fmnbla there are a great credit to Chicago," ">4 ® veteran army officer th> other day, they deserve every encouragement from the . business men of the city. I visited P ingtown with' the party of French men during the late eaaipat.n, aaAvnAP^ agreeably surprised at the tborgag) t-uy app*aranee of the camp. The' men could hardly be made to belief] such wall-drilled and soldi *rly apy men were voluntary sold ers, servtfey i State fur forty cents per day, and th*y! Chicago believing Ameroans to. most patriot!.' of the world's inhabitants." j, f.. 'j ' . *. , K • , 1 « i. . .t'm A" .a, If> -*v:. t , a#, n ift':T v v