McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 16 Mar 1887, p. 7

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\l- ** ; m BILL HYE. "WWt %•:'• % $ t » - I& •? k. &• Soarofclaft Ibr a Barbei^-TeaUmoay as to William's Bravery. When I first came here, writes Bill Nye from Asbeville, N. C., I began to cast about me for a good, fluent barber, with whom I could associate during the winter; one who would not be ashamed to be seem conversing with me, and, still, withal,a man who could administer a cleah shave without pain. I fell into the hands of a tall brunette orphan about 55 years of age, named Plum Levy--pronounced Levi. Every­ body said that Plum was a good hair- cutter, and, very likely, a good shaver, too. It was even reported that people came here frequently from New York to get their haar trimmed. The first time I visited Che shop Plum wasn't there personally. 1 took the chiur,of an assistant* It was a very disagreeable chair, with caked places in it. It was upholstered with body Brussels, and,the seat had bones in it. The room is heated by means of a fire­ place. and the water for shaving is boiled in a sauce-pan on the coals. The assistant was a perfect gentleman, though. He did everything he could in a social way to make me forget my |roubles. For half an hour he just limply dazzled me with his conversa­ tional powers, and threw every influence about me to make me contented. He told me so much about the country and its resources that when hie got through with me I wrung his hand . with wet eyes. This may seem to be a physical impossibility, but I did it. For some time after that I decided not to shave any more. My beard is ginger colored with a dash of red in it; but others have risen to affluence and won a deathless name who wore this kind of beard, so I thought I would let it grow find thus be able to horrify my children into a more thorough state of discipline than I am now able to main­ tain. Now and then I would go into the shop, however, hoping that Plum might be there, and in that caee I would have one more old-fashioned shave before I abandoned myself to the wild and woolly depths of a tough, red beard; but Mr. Levy was engaged in building a wing on his house, and so I would inhale a little smoke from the fireplace and go away. Later on I de­ cided that I would give the other assist­ ant a hack at my beard. He looked like a likely young man whose parents were dependent on him, so one day I got up into his chair. His chair was not so hard to sit in as the first one, but it had a very feverish breath and the head-rest occa­ sionally slipped a cog and fell about four inches, like the cellar door of a gibbet. I stood this until I got shaved down to a line even with the angle of the jaw, and then I said I did not care about having my throat whiskers shaved off. I paid my reckoning atid went away with a red tippet of ginger- colored plush around the suburbs of my neck like a middle-aged Mormon on his way to the endowment house. In two weeks a man who claimed to be friendly to my interests came to me and in a hoarse voice informed me that Plum Levy was at work in the $hop. I went there at a rapid rate. In the corner near the chair, with a blue fly- net on it, stood a tall gentleman of African descent. He smiled pleasantly on me through a pair of iron-bound spectacles and told me in a- haughty manner to be seated. I sprang gayly into his old red chair, knocking out the dust and hair of forgotten generations, and Plum Levy ran his skinny black fingers over the desolated site of my once hair. It did not take him long to decide that it was doubtless a shave that I desired. I like to meet a man, be he white or black, who can jump at a conclusion that way with the utmost agility and always hit it right. He got some hot water out of the sauce-pan, slashed his brush around in it, banked up my nostrils with lather, and when I had to open* my mouth in order to get a place to breathe through, he stabbed that full of the most un­ palatable soapsuds I ever ate. He then paused, in order to try on my eye-glasses, which I had deposited on the sink. Evidently they did not fit him, for lie resumed his own with a sigh. All this he did with the utmost freedom. I can imagine how such a man would act when he got a chance at emancipa­ tion. Wouldn't he gorge himself? Wouldn't he like to get away into the woods somewhere by the side of a car­ load of freedom and just kind of founder himself? I wot so. He picked out a razor with a white handle, such as agricultural papers offer to boys for one new name, and he mowed around over my fluffy cheek, turning my head over so that the mid- =• day sun could shine into my works, until I moaned in a low key in spite of myself. Oh, how I wanted to go home! How I begged to see my family once more! How I told Mr. Levy that I knew I had done wronf>, and that I had written things about the Southern climate that were too severe, and that if I had my life to live over again I would not do so, b\it, oh, would he not give me one more chance to reform ? Would he not let me look once more upon the faees-of my wife and children before he cut upon the other side of my neck ? At last he relented, and I went to the office Of a physician. My. friends who recommended Mr. Levy now get out of it by stating that they supposed I wanted my hair cut. They say they never claimed that Plum Levy could shavi for sour apples, but he can just more than cut hair. Beating the .Market Man. The sample dodge is an old and mean trick by which some sharpers in a small way beat the market man out q/ a din­ ner now and then. If jou stay here long enough you'll see one of them. I usually get from two to a dozen visits from them every day. Many of them are men, old men, usually of respecta­ ble appearance, though occasionally you find a well dressed woman in the business and now and then a child. It ' is worked like this: The sample fiend comes up when you are not busy and tell you that he has not laid in his win­ ter stock of vegetables yet. And then he talks about different kinds of pota­ toes-and wants to see what we have got. He takes a potatoe out of each barrel, says he will try them all and see which he likes best, and moves coolly off. Of course we never Bee him again. Now that seems like a very small kind of a confidence game for grown people to be at, doesn't it? But there are scores of families who depend on just such little tricks for the chief part of their sustenance. Anyway, we have lots of them down here. I'have known them to come and "work the racket" • and go away and then be at some other stand on the saAie errand an hour later. I actually believe some of them gather enough vegetables in this way out of this market in a day to last them all winter. Of course beggars we would lire out of herein a holy minute, and persons who didn't look respectable we shouldn't allow to take a sample. Bat what can you do when . nicely dressed persons, who, for all you know, may own a brown stone block and be able to buy you out a thousand times, come along and work vou this way ?--Stall- keeper in New York Commercial Ad­ vertiser. - She Ruled the Roost. Jim Akers was a small, two-headed, knock-kneed man, with irregular teeth, which made his mouth look like a steel trap twisted out of plumb. His wife was a large, raw-boned woman, fully a head taller and fifty pounds heavier than Jim. She had the temper of a half-famished wildcat, and no darky just "gittin' religion" was ever half as much afraid of the devil as Jim was of her. He had reason to be. When she was fairly on the war-path she breathed chain lightning and flung cyclones from the tip of her tongue. Nor did she content herself with words only, however bitter and furious. She very often brushed the poor little wretch with a hickory until he felt as if he had borrowed his back of a saint fresh from a gridiron. One bright, golden, delicious afternoon in the latter part of May, Jim left the patch where he had been hard at work all day and "snuck een" to liis cabin by the back way. He proceeded to doff his every-day clothes and don his Sun­ day garments, casting furtive glances all the while at the black-browed, terrible dame sitting in the front door­ way knitting. With trembling haste he completed his preparations, and was shambling out again, when liis wife, previously apparently oblivions of his presence, shot a fierce glance at him which made him jump almost out of his shoes and brought the perspiration out from every pore. "Whar you boun' fur?" she asked. "I 'lowed I wuz gwine dqwn to the fish-fry fur a hour or two. Them boys is a heviu'--" "Well, you 'lowed wrong. You jest histe off them cloes, and go back into that patch and finish hoin' them par- taters. Don't you distress verself 'bout no fisli-fries." "But I done tole the boys I wus gwine to be thar." "Well, you tole 'em a lie." "But Ed Sykes and Hank Evans is a waitin' fur me now at the cross-roads, and I'd rather not disappoint :em." "Well, I'd ruther you would. Shut up now and do ez you're told." Jim gasped and quaked with fear; but for the first time in many years, he thoroughly realized the tyranny under which he was crushed. His heart was set on going to the fisli-frv, and in that feeble, fluttering little organ a faint shadow, a dim etdolon of spirit became thoroughly aroused. He hesitated a moment, ventured even to return the gaze of those glowing, wrathful eyes, and then started, saying: "Well, I'm a-gwine." * Great Jehosapliat! Houpla! She swooped down on him like an owl on a mouse. The air was filled and darkened with dust and sandy hair and agonizing shrieks. Ed Sykes and Hank Evans, at the "cross-roads," became convinced ° that Jim's cabin had caught fire, and that he was perishing in the flames. They rushed in all haste to his assistance, but as they neared the spot the clatter cub- sided, and they heard a stern, feminine voice, which caused them to halt and keep out of sight, say: "Now I reckon you'll do ez yer tole." Then they recognized Jim's piping voice, protesting between convulsive sobs: "I'd sorter gin out gwine befo' you spoke."--San Francisco Alta. Tough vs. Tender Beef. The question is often raised, what makes meat tough? A contemporary lately stated that "the toughest and most tasteless meat is that of a 2-vear- old •steer fed fat from calfliood and then allowed to shrink in transit to market." Tasteless it undoubtedly would be, since the loss would be in the juices and fatty matter deposited between the fibers of muscle. It is well known that a thin animal is always tough, com­ paratively, and according to age, and for the reason before stated. The muscles are not filled with the fluids that render them readily disintegrate. For the same reason an animal thin inc flesh, unless very old, if quickly fat­ tened, will be juicy and tender; that is, the muscle will be fat and juicy rather than lean and dry. But the mistake should not be made as between firm flesh and that which is tough. Where the animal is fully fed from birth until killed, whatever the age, the flesli will be firm, but not tough; but the longer it is kept the firmer the flesh will be. If kept up to that trim when it can no longer be made to gain steadily then the flesh will be­ come really tough, and in this sense an animal arrived at full maturity and al­ lowed to shrink becomes tough in the true sense of the word. The shrinkage of such an animal is also inevitable in transit, since so good conditions of ease and feeding cannot be given as when at. home. This is also approximately cor­ rect in all highly-fattened animals, whatever their age. The most juicy, firm-fleshed, and tender beef is that killed where fed and then transported in refrigerator cars. It is also the most healthful to eat, since fever and other disorganizing in­ fluences are constantly at work from the time the animal leaves the stall or pas­ ture until killed. The most juicy and palatable beef is that which lias been well wintered and then quickly fattened on flush, succulent pasture, killed, and shipped dead in proper cars. The worse meat is that "transported from the far west, thousands of miles to Atlantic cities or to Europe alive. And yet railways seem determined to continue to discriminate in favor of carrying live animals instead of dead meat.. The reason is probably a business one not difficult to guess. -- Chicago Tribune. Pages and Their Pay. At the beginning of a session of Con­ gress it is a common thing to see rich ladies alight at the Capitol from their splendid equipages, leading their petted sons in to ask that they be appointed pages. Members of Congress bring their boys to put them on the pages' roll. "Oh," said one lady of wealth, when asked why she consented to have her darling son serve as a page, "his pay makes such convenient pin money." hese attendants upon Senators and Re­ presentatives get #2.50 a day during the session of Congress.--Chicago 'Time. THE following naive promise was of­ fered as an irresisstible temptation to a fair inamorata: "I thank you," said ihe girl to her suitor, "but I Can't ltuvfe home. I am a widow's only darling; no husband can-ever equal my parent iu kindness." "She is kind," replied the wooer; "butbe my wife, and we will all live together, and see if I don't excel your mother!" CURIOUS FACT& DEATH IN THE WATER. THE present cost of operating the rail­ roads of the country with steam power is in round numbers $502,000,000 per annum; but to carry on the same amount of work with men and horses would cost the country $11,306,500,000. SOME one with a mathematical mind has figured it out that all the gold on* earth to-day, in whatever shape--that is, mined gold, or, to put it plainer, the gold in use in all nations and the pro­ duct of all ages--if welded in one mass, would be contained In a cube of less than thirty feet. THE soil of the Nile delta has proven to* be thicker than was supposed, bor­ ings by Royal engineers having failed to reach a solid bottom at a depth of 200 feet. Specimens of the soil have been sent to London, and an appro­ priation has been made for continuing the geologically important borings. A FAVORITE prescription of Chinese physicians for chronic indigestions is to cut up and digest chicken gizzards in hot water until they are reduced to a pulp, and then add some spices. A tablespoonful or two of the resulting paste is taken at each meal until the patient has entirely recovered. THE carrier-pigeon service in Paris is now most carefully organized, and the latest census shows that there are 2,500 trained birds, which can take dis­ patches in and out of the capital in the roughest weather. Some are taught to go the neighboring forts and towns, others to distant parts of the provinces. AT Middletown, Conn., the other evening, a company of friends called at a house, where they were asked to put their wraps on a bed where a babe was sleeping. The little one was unusually quiet that evening, and it was found dead when the guests had /gone, . having been smothered by the garments piled upon it. A PHOMIXENT life insurance man in Hartford. Conn., is reported as saying that his experience and the records of life insurance have shown him that young men of 20 years of age who ab­ stain entirely from all kinds of intoxi­ cating drinks have a good prospect of living to be 64 years of age; while the moderate drinker of 20 years of age can only expect to live to be 35$ years. METAI. is now being substituted for Card-board in bookbinding. This novelty is known as the "British Pellisfort" binding, and it consists in the use of thin sheet metal for covers. The metal is specially prepared, and the cover may be bent and straightened again without perceptible damage. It may, in fact, be safely subjected to such treatment as would destroy ordinary covers. The metal is, of course, covered with the leather usually employed in bookbinding, and the finished book presents no difference in appearance except in the greater thinness of the cover. A NEW industry has lately sprung up in Sweden, and promises shortly to be­ come a most important one. Oil for illuminating purposes is now manu­ factured in that country from the stumps and roots that remain in the forests after the timber has been cut. These are subjected to a process of dry distillation, and besides wood-oil many other products are obtained, amongst which are turpentine, creosote, acetic acid, wood charcoal, tar, oils, etc. This oil cannot be used in ordinary lamps, as containing a large proportion of car­ bon it gives off a great deal of smoke during combustion. When mixed with benzine, however, it may be used in ordinary benzine lamps; but when burnt alone a special lamp must be adopted. The trees that furnish the greatest amount of oil are the pine and fir. There are now about forty estab­ lishments engaged in this manufacture in Sweden. Is the Element We Drink Ded- { mating the People? Ani to A Terrible Sea Monster. The first time I struck the bottom I couldn't believe I was there. It was as clear as air and the fishes swimming around might have been taken for birds. I landed on a kind of sand-hill when they lowered me and had to walk about fifty feet down into a valley like before I struck the shells. They were all in a bunch, stretched along in a ridge, looking like a black mark against the white bottom. I was dragging the hamper and when I got alongside 1 began to toss them in. I reckon I had filled half a dozen or so, when all at once I saw a kind of shadow moving over me. At first I thought it was the schooner, and then, perhaps some of, the other divers coming down, and then it left; but all at once it came again and grew so dark in a second that I turned quick and looked up, and I'm telling you the truth, mister, if my hair hadn't been held down by a copper cap it would have riz right on end. There, a-movin' over me was what I took to be a bird about thirty feet across. It was wheeling round and round, flapping its big wings, just as you've seen buzzards or eagles do, overhead. Down it came, lower and lower, and I a-croucliing as flat as I could get. Tke nearer it got the bigger it looked, and as I see it was a- settling on me I took the pike I always carried, and as it wheeled around over me I let drive. Hit it ? Well, I reckon I did. The next thing I knew I was standing on my head, rolling over' and over, then yanked sideways, half drownded, and then I reckon I lost my senses, and when I came to I was lyin' on deck and all hands looking at mb. You see, the critter had given the water such a swirl that I was knocked end for end, and my pipe and line twisted around and around so that I couldn't breath, and, of course, that pulled the line and the men, I thought I had jerked it to come up so they hauled away for all they were worth, and that's whaf; saved my life. What was it ? Why, notliin' but one of those sea bats--blanket fish the other men called it--and they all said I had a nar­ row run for it. That was the way, accord- in' to their say, that the fish goes to work to get away with a man. They first settle down on you like a blanket, and there you are. There wasn't a man that would go down after that for sev­ er?! days.-- Cincinnati Commercial- Gazette. "HELLO, when did you return ?" asked Snopson of his friend Binns, whom he met in the street. "Why, I haven't been away," replied the latter. "You haven't ?" incredulously asked Snopson. "Why, you look so worn out and near dead that I positively thought you had been away to one of the watering-places for a few weeks for the benefit of your health." THE Reverend Mr. W-- paid his de­ voirs to a lady who was prepossessed in (fiver of a Mr. Psalter. Her partiality Being very evident, the former took oc­ casion to ask, in a room full of com­ pany, "Pray, miss, how far have you got in your Psalter?" The lady archly replied, UA» far as 'Blessed is thia k few years Ago the people in a certain sec­ tion iu oue of the leading cities of the State were prostrated with a malignant disease, iktd upon investigation it was found that ouly thoKo who used water from a famous old wail were the victims. Professor & A. lattimore, analyst of the Now York 8tat» Board of Health, upon analyz­ ing water from this well, lound it more deadly titan the city sewage! The filling up of the old well stopped the ravages of the disease. Mot iong since the writer notioei while some men were making an excavation for a large building, a stratum of dark-colored earth run­ ning from near the surface to h.trd pan. There it took another course toward a well near at hand. The water from this well hal for years been tainted with the drainage from a receiving vault, the pcroolabons of which had discolored the earth! Terrible! A similar condition of things exists in every village aud city wlijro well water is used, aud though the tilferuig which the fluids receive in passing througu the earth may give them a clear appearance, yet the poison and disease remains, though the water may look never SJ clear. It is still worse with the farmer, for the drainage from the barn yard and the slops from the kitchen eventually find their way in­ to tiie family welL The same"condition of things exists in our large cities, who -e w»ter supplies are rivers fed by little streams that carry off the filth and drainage from houses. This "water" is eventually drunk by rich and poor alike with great evil. Some cautious people resort to the filter for purifying this water, but even the filter does not remove this poison, for water of the most deadly character may pass through this filter and become clear, yet the poison dis­ guised is there. They who use filters know that they must be renewed at regular periodfe, for even though they do not take out all the impurity, they soon become foul. Mow in like manner the human kidneys act as a filter for the blood, and if they are filled up with impurities and become foul, like the filter, all the blood in the system coursing through them becomes bad, for it is now a conceded fact that tue kidneys are the chief means whereby the blood is purified. These organs are filled with thousands of hair-like tubtx which drain the impurities from the blood, as the sewer pipes drain impurities from onr houses. If a sewer pipe breaks under the house, the sewage escapes into tha earth and fills tho house with poisonous gas; so if any of the .thousand and. one little nair-like sower tubes of the kidueys break down, the entire body is affected by this awful poison. It is a scientific fact that the kidneys have few nerves of sensation; and, consequently, disease may exist in these organs for a long time and not be suspected by the individual It is impossible to filter or take the death out of the blood when the least derangement ex ists in theso organs, and if the blood is not filtered then the uric acid, or kidney poison, removable only by Warner's safe cure, accu­ mulates in the system and attacks any organ, producing nine out of ten ailments', just as sewer gas and bad drainage produce so many fatal disorders. Kidney disease may be known to exist if there is any marked departure from ordinary health without apparent known cause, and it should be understood by all that the greatest peril exists, and is intensified, if there is the least neglect to treat it promptly with that great specific, Warner's safe cure, a remedy that has received the highest recognition bv scientific men who have thoroughly investi­ gated the character of kidney d( raiigements. They may not tell us tjiat " the cause of so many" diseases in this organ is the impure water or any other one thing, but this poison­ ous water with its impurities coursing con­ stantly through these delicate organs un­ doubtedly does produce much of the uecay and disease which eventually terminate in the fatal Bright'B disease, for this disease, alike among the drinking men, prohibitionists, the tobacco slave, the laborer, tiie merchant, aud the tramp, works terrible devastation every year. It is well known that the liver, which is so easily thrown "out of gear," as they say, very readily disturbs the action of the kidneys. That organ when deranged immediately an­ nounces the fact by sallow skin, con­ stipated bowels, coated tongue, and head­ aches, but the kidney when diseased struggles on for a long time, find the fact of its disease can only be discovered by the aid of tho microscope or by the physician who is skillful ..enough to traco the most indirect effects in the system to the derangement of these organs, as the pr.me cause. The public is learning much on this subject, and when it comes to understand that the kidneys are the real health regulators, as they are the real blood purifiers of the system, they will oscapo an infinite amount of un­ necessary suffering, and add length of dMra and happiness to (heir lot . ; Plant Allies. While some fprms of fungus are most destructive to vegetat'on, it is now believed that there are others which render assistance to the plants on which they live. Frank found that the fungus covering the young root points of cer­ tain forest trees, as the beech and the oak, seems to help in the nutrition cf those trees. Another interest ng case has lately been studied in Germany by Wahrlieh, who finds that a yellow bladder-like fungus of the root-tissue of orchids works no perceptible harm to the plants, but on the coi trary probably aids them by changing woody matters into a form that they may more readily absorb. Common Sense. The proprietors of the Moxie Nerve Food, that is creating such an excitement all over the country as a remedy for the liquor habit and nervous exhaustion, or results of over­ work, talk the bist sense yet. They say the nervous pystcrn is the seat of life, and con­ trols the funct.ons of the body. The func­ tions <X the body are to take nutrition and get rid of a corresponding amount of old and im­ pure material. If the uerves are strong enough »ai itself every day; if not, we are ilL That to do this, we arc well. a'id tho bloocl purifies Ti the whole system of health in a nutshell. The Lesson It Taught. Sunday-school Superintendent--Have you ever thought, my dear children, of the value of time, and how necessary it is we should seek shelter before it is too late? Children--Yes, sir. Superintendent--Yes, I heard to-day of a remarkable case; a sailor entered a mission chapel, became converted, determined to lead a better life, and the very next morning he fell from a yard-arm and was killed; now, does not that look like a Providence? Bright Boy--Yes, he took him when he had a chance.--Omaha World. to 98 a day. Sample* worth $1.50. FRFK. lines not under the horse's feet. Address Brewster's Safety Kein Holder. Holly. Mich. H. 8. FT A. P. UACET. PATENT Attorneys, Washington, X).C. _ Instructions and opinions as to patentability FUKE. W11 years'experieuos. i on James River,Vs., in Clar inont . Colon*. Illustrated CMvularF.-ee. Ij. I'\ JVi AM'HA, Clarf m»iit,Ya. MENTION THIS PAPER wan wamna TO ITFUROM. _ finCEHIP IKON MINIM; STOCKS bought »ti<L Hold QUUEalW Hehaiilt* int<>rnmti< n furnish <1.1 lie Mil- wa >k< Minim.' Ksoti.. Milwaukee,Wis. 'iVIephnnelS4. MENTION THIS PAPER warn** TO IBITSBTWSU. $5 PATENTS AS to patentability FARMS IMIiCV CDCC uovernmeut lmd. nUMtd rnLL laml and p'rinn Cheap ilei-dcd 40.00» acres of the I PIRT land- iu NELT.U-ka. A mi.d a id healthy climate. Send two T-tainps LOR full DIN.Filiation and irupa. SIMPSON A- ( ASMKI.MAN- BUOS., Hay Spring*. -N'»b. MENTION THIS PAPER WN«» varrmu TO "I BELIEVE in leaving something be­ hind us as a landmark, that men can point to and know that, though gone, we have been among them," said Sluv- vins to his wife, as they promenaded along Wabasha street. "So do I," she responded earnestly. "Yes, I've no­ ticed you do," he returned in an im­ pressive tone. "Why do you say that?" "You've just dropped your bustle," the fiend replied. With a shriek she fled the scene. ' IF a man borrows money he does not care to have it talced about. He wants to be quietly let a loan.--Nev> Orleans Pica­ yune. Irrigating Canals. A great obstacle' in many sections of our country to successful cultivation is the insufficient rainfall., To remove this obstacle it is only necessary that a system of irrigation be adopted. To irrigate successfully requires a large amount of technical knowledge and skill and the expenditure of much labor and money. Irrigation belongs, in lact, to progressive apiculture, and pays best when applied to valuable land by intelligent men. Upder such circum­ stances it pays for itself many times over by rendering large tracts of land otherwise valueless highly productive. In proof of thia assertion are many suc­ cessful efforts with irrigation in onr own country. A notable instance at hand is the State of Colorado, with its 800 miles of first-class irrigating cantds, 3,500 miles of secondary canals, and 40,- 000 miles of smaller ditches, which have cost in the aggregate about $11,- 000,000, and. will irrigate 2,200,000 acres. The largest canal is taken from the liio del Norte. It is ninety-eight feet wide at the top and sixty-five feet on the bottom, with a carrying capa­ city of 207,000,000 cubic feet per diem. The main line is forty miles long, and it is designed to irrigate 200,000 acres. It was constructed in four months by 6,000 men and 1,200 teams. „ Storie* of Gold. Alaska produced $300,000 worth of gold and $2,000 worth of silver last year. The United States produced $31,000,- 000 of gold and $51,000,000 of silver last year. The gold production of the world last year was $101,580,090 and of silver $125,000. "Montana .Turnips" is the name by which $600 or $700 lumps of bullion are known in that Territory. Eight thousand dollars was fonnd in an old apron of a venerable woman who died at Port Pleasant, N. J., lately. Twenty-one years ago the steamer Brother Jonathan went down off the Oregon coast with $2,000,000 in specie on board. Various unsuccessful efforts have been made to get the money, and now another effort on an elaborate scale is to be made. One of the largest and finest gold nuggets ever unearthed in California is now on exhibition in San Francisco. It is about the size of an ordinary Derby hat, weighs thirty-five pounds, and is worth about $15,000. Great "gobs" of gold hang out of its sides. The Western Settler's Chosen Spectfle. With every advance of emigration into the far West, a new demand Is created for Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. Newly peopled regions are frequently less salubrious than older settled localities, on account of the miasma which rises from recently cleared land, particularly along the banks of rivers that are subject to freshets. The agricultural or mining emigrant soon learns, when ho does not already know, thut the Bitters afford the only sure protection against malaria, and those disorders of the stomach, liver, and bowels, to which climate changes, exposure, aud unaccustomed or un­ healthy water or diet subject him. Consequent­ ly, he places an estimate upon this great house- hold specific and preventive commensurate with its intrinsic merits, and is careful to keep on hand a restorative and promoter of health so implicitly to be relied upon in time of need. WE have heard a stage whisper--Can a gig giggle? COUGHS AND HOARRKNBSR --The irritation which induces coughing immediately relieved by use of "Brown1* Bronchial TrocheSold only in boxes. WE don't hanker for burdens, but we should just like .to hitch on to a fresh Com- stock lode.--Lowell Courier. A Profitable Investment -Can be made in a postal card, if it is used to send yonr address on to Hallett & Co.. Port­ land, Maine, who can furnish you work that you can do and live at home, wherever you art; located; few there ard who cannot earn over #5 per day, and some have made over #50. Capital not required; you aro started free. Either sex; all ages. All particular free. ;NDIOE8TION, dyspepsia, nervous prostra­ tion. and all forms of general debility re­ lieved by taking Mensman's Peptonized Beef Tonic, the only preparation of beef containing its entire nutritions properties. It contains blood-making, force-generating, and life-sus­ taining properties; is invalnable in all en­ feebled conditions, whether the result of ex­ haustion, nervons prostration, overwork, or a~utf) disease; particularly if resulting from pulmonary complaint*. Caswell, Hazard & Co. proprietors, New York. IF afflicted with Bore Eyes, use Dr. Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it BKST, easiest to use, and cheapest. PIBO'S Remedy for Catarrh. By druggists. 50c. CATARRH mm m^polo HtfFEVER HAY-FEVER ELY'S CREAM BALM la not a WtffettL snujT or powder. Applied into nostrils is qwcldf adsorbed.It cleanses the head. Allaytt Inflammation. Heats the sorest. Restores the seiute» of taste and smell 60 cents at Druggists; by mail, registered, 60 cciits ELY BROTHERS, Druggists, Owego, N. Y. SHOPPING BY MAIL. TIME AMI MONEY NAVKO. For further i n fo rma t ion , references, fee., addreda Mrs. W. ROI.VUKUOKK. 1'ur. Agt.. care L'. S. and Pa­ cific Exprem C si unit 8U Washington St., Chicago. UK NT; ON THIS PAPER WWI wam*U TO AT>VS&TISBAA. "Can't Poof Mr Ttriee. Thin is all right, 'Hood's .Sarsaparilla' " Hood's Sarcaparilla is a peculiar medicine. In very many respects it is so different from any and all other medicincs ever offered to the public that it is with peculiar force and propriety that it may be said to be PECULIAR TO ITSKI.F. IT ifi peculiar, in a strictly medicinal sense, in three important particulars, viz.: First, in the combination of remedial agents used; toroiul, in the proportion in which Uiey are mixed: tMrd, in theproceas by which the active curative Hood's Sarsaparilla is peculiar in the phenomenal record of tho salea it has attained, never equalled by any other preparat on in so short a time. Older medi­ cines have been forced to stand aside when real medicinal merit was considered, and to-day Hood's Baroaparilla stands the leading medicine of its kind in t e country. It is peculiar in its strength and economy--100 doses one dollar. It is a concentrated extract from SarsapariUa, Dock, Juniper Berfieaw Mandrake, Dandelion, and other valuable vegetable remedies, and is much stronger than any similar Peculiar to Itself properties of the preparation are secured. These three important points make Hood's Sarsa­ parilla peculiar in its medicinal merit, as it accom­ plishes cures wholly unprecedented in the history of mcdicinc, and GIVING to Hood's Sarsaparilla a clear right to TYIE title of "The greatest blood purifier ever discovered." Hood's SarsapariUa is also peculiar in ita general appearance. Note the neatness in every detail in the way it is put up, the well-printed wrapper, the ex­ plicit direcUons.^the care taken to prevent breakage or inj ury. Remember that every wrapper bears the facsimile of the signature of the proprietors. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by druggists. ; six for $5. Prepared only by C. 1. HOOD ft CO., Apothecaries, LOWELL. Mass. IOO Doses One Dollar preparation upon the market Hence, much smallSt doses of Hood's Sarsaparilla are necessary than IS the case with other medicines. A dollar bottle «T Hood'8 Sarsaparilla contains an average of more thaa 100 doses, and will last a month, while others win average to last not over a week. Hence, on the sim­ ple question of economy Hood's Sarsaparilla is givea a decided preference. If you have never tried this medicine, do so this season. It expels impurities from the blood, cures scrofula, salt rheum, over­ comes that tired feeling, and, in fact, its beneficent and curative influences extend through the whoto system. Hood's Sarsaparill# 8old by druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only FCY C. I. HOOD & CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass. IOO Doses One Dollar Cures and Prevents Colds, ' Coughs, 9ore Throat, Hoarseness, Stiff Neck, Bronchitis, Catarrh. Headache, Toothache, Rheumatism, Heuralgia, Asthma, Frostbites, Chilblains, quicker than any known ramedy.* it was the first and is the only PAIN REMEDY That instantly stops the most excruciating pains, al­ lays Inflammation and cures Congestions, whether or the Lungs, Stomach, Bowels, or other glands or or­ gans, by one application. No mutter how violent or excruciating the pain the Kheuniatu', lied ridden, liitirin. Crippled, Nervous, Neuralgic, or prostrated with diseases may suffer, RADWAY'S READY RELIEF Will afford instant ease. Thirty to sixty drops In half tumbler of water win; in a few minutes cure Cramps, Spasms. Hour Stonx- acl), Nausea, Vomi'ing, Palpitation of the Heart, Mai* aria, ('bills and fever, F..intness, Hertbuni, 8iok geadttche, Diarrhea, Dysentery, Colic, Wind in the owels BII-1 all Internal Pains. Fifty Cents per Bottle. Sold by Druggists. DR. RADWAY & CO., N. ¥., Proprietors of Bad way's Sarsapsrillian Resolvent and Dr. Radway'S Pills. PENSIONS Send for Pension Laws to FfTZ-OKKAL1) A POWKU, V. 8. Claim Airents, Indianapolis. Ind. OIS'KY MADE in (ioifebic Stocks. Relia- LI e information furnished. C. G. COX JT CO., 1(14 New Insursnce Building, Milwaukee, Wis. M • nifCDTICCDC or om«n,wM wish to axamlns Mil VCIl I IvksllW this paper, of obtain sttimatss on advertising tpacs whan In Chicago, will find it on file at 45 10 49 Randolph St., | f||||| £T|lf|HA€ ths Advertising Agancy of LUKlIf H I IIUMNWV WIZARD OIL 'CONCERTS Have been enjoyed by ctttrern of every town and cltv in the I". S. Marvelous Cures have been wit­ nessed by thousands of people, who can testify to THB WONDERFUL HEALING POWER OF Hamlin's Wizard Oil. Neuralgia, Toothache, Headache, Earache, Catarrh, Croup, Sore Throat, Lame Back, Stiff Joints, Contracted Cortbt RHEUMATISM, Sprains, Bruises, Burns, Fever Sores, Wounds, Old Sores, Chilblains, Frost Bites, Sore Nipples, Caked Breasts, and All Aches and Pains, mre q u i c k l y relieved bv this maalcal remedy. Try It once and you will never be without it. For sale BY L>NIKI"STS. Price. SOE. Our 8ON<; BOOK free to all. Address WIZARD OIL COMPANY, CHICAGO. ~llf F AT\T S.1 V MADE FAST In uogebic STOCKS 1TI." "I," HI X aud new town lots. Security guar­ anteed. Maps, etc. H. F. KIUK.&Co., MilwaukeeVWl*. One Agent (Merchant onlyi wanted In every towatWP TA I like your "Tansill's Punch" cigars very much, and wish to have the exclusive vale in this place, and will do all I can to push tbem. I believe in advertising, and sm taking pains to distribute the circular* where they will do the most pood. C. V. ELLIOTT, Mansfield, Pa. Address R. W. TANSII.I, * CO., Chicago. MENTION THIS PAPER WI WRITING PAPER, ENVELOPES, PLAYING CARDS. Bnverswill consult their interests by sending to us lor SAMPLES and prices before ordering (roods, aa we are manufacturers' agents, and can offer induce­ ments in Quality aud pric. $1.00 Six Sample Packs Playing Cards, Assorted $1.00 PRICE & L0NGLEY, Chicago, III. MENTION THIS PAPER WAN vimn «• inniMM '• r •• t i •'W n \ Beat Cough 8. in time. CASTAS food. Us* HAXNinmi.LB,N. I October IS, IHS. F B. T. HASELTIKE, Warren, Pa. > Daar Sir: I was taken with arery severe cold last Spring, and tried every cure we had in the • tore,and coald get no help. I had onr village doctor prescribe for me, bntkept getting worse. I saw an* other physician from Port Jervia, N. Y., and he told me lie used Piso's Cure for Consumption in his practice. I bought a bottle, and before I had taken all of it there was a change for the better. Then I got my employer to order a quan­ tity of the medicine and keep it in stock. I took one more bottle, and my Cough was cured. Hespeotfully, VBAMK McKmvr. P I S O ' S O U R € F " ) R Hare relief aonranti KIDDER'8 PA8TILLE8.^cdSSH: •Charlestown, RAPTURE If yon want relief and cure at your home, aend fop . _ _ _ -- Dr. J. A. Sherman'S di'oiuar ot Instructions. lirondwajr, New Yorib UTN I lON THIS PAPER wus* WKIUAA t» inumui, Besi HIRES WHERE ALL ELSE FJULS. t Oo«f h Sjrof- Tastes food. Use ] by dnmlsk. C O N b U M f - ' - T I C N MR P AINT YOUR BUCCYforONE Slack, Maroon, images, Front 1 T A ca.aoe OPIUM lly usinff COIT'S ONB-COAT BUGGY PAINT. Wagon Greens. No V*rni:>hin£ neceswry. T _ . enough to paint your Buggy upoo receipt of One Dollar, and warrant it to yrar Paint Friday, run it to Church Sunday. Tip top for Chairs. Furniture, Bab' Six Fashionable Shades: Black, Maroon. Vermilion. Olive I.ake, Brewster ami Wnl send re r ront Poors ft CO.. 906 & aoe Km«ie St~ ChioagQw tatouul to uie Tnuic. % Best Waterproof Coat. he PISH BRAND SLICKER la wirntntad wst*n>roor, «ad will kwp you dry la .h® hardnt •torm. Tt>» new POMMKL SUCKER !• » perf'ct rirtln* c«*l, and cowers lb« «stlr« f addle. Bewara of Imitation*. Hon* fen nine withoat tha' Flah Brand" trademark. Illustrated Catalogue frea. A. J. Tower, Boston, Why did the Women of this country use Over thirteen million cakes of Procter & Gamble's Lenox Soap in 1886 ? Buy a cake of Lenox and you will soon understand why. Morphine Habit Cared to SO days. .No pay till ens Or. J- fcteplaena, Lctaui,C" CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH PENNYROYAL PI US The Original and Only Genuine. of «• Origi Safe aud always Reliable. B»mit of warthlcM I mite itoos. Uidie^. aak your feranbi for "€Urkntw>! Easllala" aiul take no other, or lnciow «c (.Stamp*) tc u« for particular* in lattar by ntar* --ill Kij rtm. CHU'HESTI ~ MIMIM M4 kjr «veryw t*r>A Kaarttofc" Fnai xZ CHEJHCAL C«k, PklMa Pa - FOR mia., Taka BO ILTOR Ptso'a Hnrnrtr fbr Catarrh Is tlM • -- • to Use, and Ctxapsat c A T A R R H Also nod fbr Odd In tho Hsad. Hsada&a.Hay V*T*r. Ac. Hnah No.. I k-

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