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m '*1 : M*. Nxa:- greaidealof HvntriillUUBovto m> OUCCHMIHU Suitor. int you have givw a I ttWSgfct poa- room ismach liiaeomiMnr. Hoping that? don™iit^oD^m^lo«h»e Yours truly, _ Yon do not say what you wish to get rid of the yqong man, nor do you state what is the matter with him; whether lie is a poor conversationalist or too fluent in that line; whether the first two joints of bis finger and thumb are vellow with cigarette stains, or what his leading characteristics are. Possibly he has fatty degeneration of the thinker. However, you say he is an impudent young man, and I infer that you have gone through the preliminaries of gen­ tle soorn and such things as that Now what shall we do to make him fully un­ derstand that you do not want him to remain Perhaps you have such a. thing as a younger brother about the house. If so bring him in and let him toy with the young man a few hours. "You oan excuse yourself while you ostensibly Eut ofr yt>ur other dress, and if you de-ij long enough you can cause tho young man a great deal of intense suf­ fering. You can take the right kind of » younger brother, with inflammatory kair and white eyes and warts on his thumbs and season cracks in the backs of his hands, and if you properly "sick" the boy on his prey and fasten the door s^rurely, you can come back in an hour and da anything you want to with that young man. 1 know this to be true, for I have been young myself. I have also been a boy. There are other indignities which you might heap on an impudent and persistent young party who don't know enough to go home. I have known young men who infested a house that way to be eradicated by means of very sad music. They do not die in the house. Sous music will drive away the bravest young man who ever tried to sit out a firm and jp^eful parent. Do you sing r If so, let your selections be of a sad and melancholy nature, soaked with lied tears. Should he undertake to raw near and console you, you might do as you think best about allowing him to do so. If you think he is simply practicing on you so that he can grace­ fully embrace another, you might induce him to crawl under the divan after something or other, and then while he gently backed out you conld administer a severe reproof to" him by means of a fence board. Some use a picket, but you will find that a fence board will hurt worse, and so give better satisfac­ tion. Another plan would be to avoid laughing at his funny anecdotes. Wait till he ge'ts through with the anecdote and looks up in your eyes for a twinkle of merriment. That is the time to re­ frain from twinkling. Wait till he gets to the nub of the joke, as it were, and pricks up his ears to listen for a wild burst of silvery laughter. That is the time to hang on to your silvery laughter. It will give him a pained expression of countenance, and you will see him soon after look at his watch. When he com­ pletes his story, suddenly wake up and ask him if that is all. Few men can en­ dure this for over two weeks. Of course there are other and more Radical methods of accomplishing the result you wish, but these are the ones more common in the best of society. I naturally supposed that you wanted the methods used in the best society, or you would have gone elsewhere instead of ooming to me. Should you finally wish to be more severe, however, you can invite a young girl to be present during tlie .young man's stay. I would suggest that this young girl be a fluent talker on the subject of clothes. If you both keep the talk going pretty well while the young man looks at the album or gazes with a fixed stare through a stereo­ scope that hasn't any pictures in it, you will goon have his pachydermic pelt on the fence. But there is a bare possibility that this young man is in love with you, and would think it humorous even if you wer6 to fill him full of fine shot. In that case, I do not know what you ought to do. Love is a strange missive. It goes where it is not sent, and it re­ fuses jo go where it is sent. If you could get him away by him­ self, it would be well enough, perhaps, to ask him if he loves you. That's the way .I should do. The quicker a matter of that kind is disposed of the better. ' Ask him in a manly way if such is the case, and if he really does love you, and has reason to believe that you were paying attention to him all this time, you cannot in honor desert him now. - Sometimes a girl marries a man to get rid of him. I have known several cases of tl«3 kind. I once knew of a young woman who married a person in order to get rid of him, and it worked so well that he isn't at home once a month since they were married. He is the owner of a wooden leg, and the only way she can keep him at home is to get up early in the morning and con­ ceal this limb in the hay mow at the barn. Getting rid of a man is a very simple process if yoi\ are really in earnest about it. Some girls marry and feed their victims with bread that they have made themselves. That is a round­ about way of getting rid of a man. Do not be discouraged. Let me know how you get on with the sugges­ tions I have made above, and I am con­ fident we will succeed. Have you ever tried wearing a large, tall hat with a stuffed blue jay in it to the theater, and sitting in the seat just in front of him ? Try it if you have not done so already, and if you do not get rid of him as well as a great namber of law-abiding citizens, write me, and I #01 suggest something else. Yours truly, BELL NYE. > . A ttoyal Dinner* '<* Mr. Granville, in his diary, fallowing account of lug int*! Emperor Napoleon ILL on the 26th of June, 1885: Yesterday morning arrived an invita­ tion to dine at the Tuileries the same evening. I went there, was ushered into a room with eight or ten men in it, none of whom I knew except Count Baccioohi, whom I had met at Fould's the day before--three in uniform, the rest in plain clothes. A man, whom I supposed to be the aide-d^-camp de service, came "forward to receive me, and invited me to sit down. Presently the same, or another man, came and said: "Milord" (they all milorded me), vouf vous mettrez a table, s'll uous plait, a cote de I'Empereur a sa droite. I was then taken into the next room, which adjoins the cabinet of the Emperor. In a few minutes His Maj­ esty made his appearance; he immedi- fcfeiy came up to me, bowed very civ- li y, gives the arriew with «l when I eame to PNi^iisr "I* fr minnte dinner was announced, and we wral in. As we went in, he Mid to me: L'ftnperatri™ sera fnen faoheede ne vous avoir pas vu. At dinner, whiok did not last above twenty-five minute#, he talked (a sort of dropping conversa­ tion on different subjects, and I found him so easy to get on with that I ven­ tured to start topics myself. After din­ ner we returned to the room we had left, and after coffee, seeing me staring about at the portraits, he said all h» family were there, and he told me who they all were and the history of these portraits, which, he said, had made the tour of the world. After this he asked me to sit down, which I did at a round table by his side, and M. Yisconti on the other side of me, and then we had a conversation which lasted at least an hour and a half, on every imaginable subject It was impossible not to be struck with his simplicity, his being so natural and totally without an air of as­ sumption of greatness, though not un-' dignified, but perfectly comme il faut, with excellent manners, and easy, pleas­ ant, fluent conversation. I was struok with his air of truth and frankness. Two Humorists. During the war Ferd Hamilton was assigned to duty as orderly to Gen. Fagan. Hamilton's character is a study. War, pestilence, nothing could destroy his peculiar individuality. One day Gen. Fagan called on a gentleman who lived several miles distant from the camp. Hamilton accompanied him. He rode at regulation distance behind the general. As they neared the house Fagan stopped at a large, heavy gate, of course expecting Hamilton to dis­ mount and open it. Hamilton rode up and stopped. Fagan looked at him; he looked at Fagan. Fagan got down, without saying a word, and opened the gate. Hamilton rode through and waited until the general caught up with him. Fagan hitched his own horse, and, taking a seat on the gallery, began a conversation with the man whom he had come to see. Hamilton hitched his horse, took a seat near Fagan, leaned back, lighted a cob pipe, and took an active part in the conversation. Fagan was a strict • disciplinarian, but he had such a sense of humor that, ex­ cusing himself, he went behind the house and laughed until he grew red in the face. In the same command there was an­ other humorist, a practical joker named Henty McNette, who is now a pilot on the Arkansaw River. Just at this time in the history of the confederacy rations became scarce. Parched corn and sweet potatoes do very well once in a long while, but are objectionable when taken as a steady diet. McNette no­ ticed that Lieut. Nowlin frequently visited a farm house, the elegant coun­ try seat of Judge Beach. He had often seen the handsome Miss Beach, and he knew that Nowlin was paying special attentions to her. One day McNette went to Judge Beach's house and rang the door bell. When a servant ap­ peared, McNette put his hat under his arm and asked if he could see Miss Beach. The servant crabbedly replied that he would see. Presently Miss Beach appeared. "Is this Miss Beach?" McNette asked as he humbly bowed to the young lady. "Lieut. Nowlin, who is very ill, ordered me to come over and ask you to send him a broiled chicken and any­ thing else that you think he might relish." "Well, sit down there," said the young lady. She would not allow any of the servants to prepare the meal. She broiled the chicken herself, and nicely arranging the "spread," gave it to McNette, who again bowed humbly. He went down into the woods and feasted. "There was enough for three* men," he said, in speaking of the affaii, "but on that occasion I was three men myself." The next day Nowlin called on Miss Beach. -,r "I am surprised to aee you," she said. "Why?" he asked. "Because of your illnesa" "I haven't been ill." "You haven't? How did you enjoy the chicken?" "What chicken?" "Why, one of your soldiers came here and said that you had sent for a broiled chicken. He was a--" "Never mind. I know what sort of a man he is. I know him. He's that infernal Henry McNette. "--Arkansaw Traveler. Van Wyck's Trousers. Senator Van Wyck of Nebraska, is probably the most bow-legged man that was ever in public life, and it is one of the traditions of the country he comes from that he has his pantaloons cut with a circular saw. The result is that those garments are very conspicu­ ous for their baggy appearance and usually attracts attention and comment when he is walking away from a group of his friends. One day, writes a Washington corre­ spondent, Senator Yance of North Caro­ lina, who is a great wag, was standing with a party of Senators, when Van Wyck passed. Says Vance: "Do you see those pantaloons old Crazy Horse has got on? I never look at them without being reminded of a story of an old tar-lieel down in my State who went to the circus for the first time in his life. Wlien he came home he sat around the tavern one night drinking, moonshine whisky and telling his friends what he had seen. He looked down upon them with an air of superiority, and they were rather meekly inquisitive. One of them says: "Uncle Zeke, did you see the b'ar at the circus?" "Yes," says Uncle Zeke; "I seen the b'ar." "Well," says the questioner, "what kind of a b'ar was it, Uncle Zeke?" "I never seen a b'ar afore," was the reply, ."but it 'pears to me as if that mought be a right smart of a b'ar." "Did you see the lion. Uncle Zeke?" put in another one. "Yes, I seen the lion." "Waal, what sort of a lion was it, Uncle Zeke?" "I never seen a lion afore, but it 'peared to me that it mought be a right smart of a lion." "Did you see the camel, Uncle Zeke ?" "Yes, I seen the camel." "What sort of a camel was it?" "Waal, I never seen a camel afore, but it appeared to me that It mought be a right smart of a camel." * "Did vou see the elephant, Uncle Zeke?" * "Yes, I seen the elephant.". "What sort of an elephant was it, Uncle Zeke?" "Waal, I never seen ah elephant afore, but it 'peared to me that it mought be a right smart of an elephant, barring that he had a good deal of slack leather about his pants," St. Joseph, Mo., stU| Leading aw fniajnil tor* in BealKstateDealaandtbe Acqui­ sition or Substantial Katwrprises. The most notioeable teal estate activity continues to pteyail at St. Joseph, Mo., says a correspondent of an Eastern patm Packing hou«M and other terprises, among them the Louisiana To­ bacco Works, are' going in at a lively rate; one of the chief evidences of the growtn of the city being the granting of a iranciuise to a syndicate of K»naq« City capitalists for the construction of an ex­ trusive system of cnbie lines, to be com­ menced at once, and to cost $300,000. The b-fct evidence, however, is in the show­ ing ot actual transactions closed in one week recently: W. A. P. McDonald bought 99 lots in Eastern Extension for f 10,500. He sold 54 of them for $10,700, and sold balance at an advance of $20 per foot in cost. Sam Nave and J. 8. Britton bought a lot in Patee's addition for *2,000 and sold for $3,000 in four days. W. H. Constable bought lot 2, block 54, St Joseph Extension, for $300, and sold for 58"550. J. S. black wilder, of Chicago, bought eight? feet, southeast corner of Third and Sylvanie, for $14,0tJ0, and has been offered nearly double that for it and refused it. J. M. Hill paid $7,000 for northeast corner of Second and' Francis, and has since refused $18,0C3. C. W. Brown bought two lots on 8t. Jo­ seph avenue for $1,900, and sold in six days for _ $3,000. John Kelly bought two lots • in _Eastern Extension; he paid $olH>; in thirty days he sold for $VHK); it has since been resold for $1,200. J. F. Tyler bought a lot in Eastern Ex­ tension lor ifl2a and sold to Hubbard for $500, who has since been offered $700. L. E. Carter bought a lot in January in Kem­ per's addition tor $700. In three days after he was offered $1,000, and since then $*i,000. He bought four lots in Kobidoux addition for $4,000; sold for $6,000, and bis purchaser sold for $8,000. Mrs. N. M. Brewster bought three lots for $500 and sold for $1,150 in three days, and in four days they were resold for $1,400. D. (x. Griswold bought six lots in East St. Joseph for $200 and sold the next day lor $750; also three others for $200 and resold in three weeks for $1,000. One of the publishers of Hoye's Direc­ tory, speaking of the Western cities and the prevailing boom, writes as follows of St. Joseph, where he has just issued the Di­ rectory for 1887: "Not only has St. Joseph increased in population ata most satisfac­ tory rate, there bein^ an increase in one year, of 5,846, while the total population in round numbers is shown to be 60,000, but she has undergone a spirited revival that augurs the outstripping of nil competition. Ten years ago the city had scarcely a dozen manufactories, whereas the year *'87 finds her wit h some 170 of all kinds, with thirteen railroads, the largest stock] ards west of Chicago, some thirteen miles of streets, paved with asphaltum, and as many miles more under contract, with the electric motor soon to be in operation on two of the car lines, and the cable line an assured fact, and new enterprises springing up daily on every hand. The demand for real estate has been steady and active. For the past year St. Joseph hus led almost continually'the other cities of the United States in bank clearances, the per cent, of increase over 1886 reaching in one case 140.7, and up to date maintaining an average of almost 100. Down to Deo. 31, 1886, St. Joseph's job­ bing honses did a business of $110,539,- 000, showing an increase in the business of 188:5 over that of 1865 of $2'!, 111,028. A fair indication of the increasing business may be sought in the fact that St. Joseph now employs a force of commercial trav­ elers numbering 1,013 men." St. Joseph, more than any other West­ ern town, offers the best inducements to men of small capital to commence a man­ ufacturing business, and to mechanics and laborers to find employment and build de­ sirable homes. The Science of Noses* The nose, wo all know, forms a prominent feature in everybody's ca­ reer, but it has been left to M. Sophas Schack, a Danish disciple of Lavater, to find out that it is an infallible index to human character. He tells us in a book just published that his discovery is the result of a long and patient study of this facial organ among peo­ ple of all nations. According to his experience, the moral and i hysical na­ ture of a person can be gathered from the formation of his nose. A well-de- veloped nose, he says, denotes strength and courage; a little turn-up nose in­ dicates cunning and artfulness; a deli­ cate, straight nose, taste and refine­ ment; a curved nose, judgment and egotism; and a thick, misshapen nose, dullness and want of tact, lint this is not all. "The nose," proceeds our physiognomist, "discloses to the intel­ ligent observer the faculties possessed by the owner. It also indicates the in­ tensity of his intellectual activity and the delicacy of his moral sentiments. Finally the nose, which belongs both to the mobile and immobile parts of our visage, reflects faithfully the fugi­ tive movements of our inclinations." If all this be true, it is evident that peo­ ple who desire to disguise their char­ acter or dissemble their passions must in future beware of their noses, or, rather, they must wear false ones.-«- Pall Mall Gazette. Merely a Coincidence. "I am sure," remarked Mrs. Finfroek, who keeps roomers and boarders, "that yo.u will like the place very much, Mr. Adams. My boarders are always cheerful and happy. The scenery is so very cheer­ ing. Really, the outlook is inspiring." "I have no doubt your house is a very pleasant home. As I am looking for such a place. 1 will come out and see it. Please direct me to it." "It is very easily found. Take the green line to F street, and change on the white line, which you leave at J street. Then walk seven blocks down Q street and you are there. Just before you get to the home you will see Mr. Reed's sign. He is the undertaker. Then just on the other side of the marble yard is the office of Dr. D wig . ins. It's right there. Yen cant miss it." "Is there a cemetery near by?" "No, sir. What do you mean?" "Oh, I just ihonght it would make such a happy combination of all the professions necessary for the proper disposition of your boarders after yon were through with them." . Survivors of the Alauio. It is an historical fact that the Ala­ mo had no messenger of defeat, ss all its defenders* were mercilessly put to the sword, or to the gun, which is the same thing; but there are three per­ sons still living who were in the for­ tress when it was captured. There is a Mexican lady in San Antonio named Perez, and her son, Alejos Perez, who were in the Alamo. Alejos Perez, who wdp a Deputy City Marshal of San Aiktonio a few years ago, having been born in the Alamo, was an infant at the time. It was to Mrs. Perez that l#)wie, Travis, Crockett, and other leading heroes intrusted their watches, jewelry, etc., on the evening before the final arsault. After the slaughter was over the Mexican soldiers broke open liar trunk where the articles were and appropriated them. These two persons are the only ones living who were in the Thermopylae of Texas when it l\xas Sifiing$. ; .. Works Both Wajs. Necessity is the mother of invention, and the inventor's wife and children are apt to find that invention is the NATURE never builded so perfect, but . mother of necessity.--Journal of Edu- By dyspepsia is wares!* worth the lfrtag. A capricious appetUe, lwarttoona, puzzling nervoos symptoms, ineresksed saltan ot the bntt after eating, sinking in tb* lUnm between meals, and flatulence after, an among the successive indicia of this haraJBng complaint. Two things ontr are needful for its removal. A re- sort to Hastetter'a Stomach Bitters, and per­ sistence in its use. These remedial measures being1 adopted, a cure is eertain. Taken imme­ diately before or after meals, this great stom­ achic promotes secretion of the gaatns jnioe, the n at oral solvent of the food. The nervous and bllioas symptoms ooosequent upon chronio indigestion disappear, aa the complaint gradu­ ally yields to the corrective an 1 invigorating in- fluenoe of the Bitters. Appetite returns, sleeo becomes more refreshing, and as a sequence, the body is efficiently nourished, muscular power increases, and the mind grows sanguine. Use the bitters for oliilis ana f< tism. ' It is said that a easily be ^"MwinliMMlTnrhiir disss at fast-table; an expensive, showy ooetnme indi­ cating that the wearer his not yet learned the proprieties. Bat no one need be afraid of being called "shoddy" if her lovelineeo is as apparent by daylight as at the hope. Perfect beanty is never the attendant of disease; above ail, of those diseases peculiar to iromen, and which find a ready cure in Dr. Pieroe's "Favor­ ite Prescription." Price reduced to one dollar. By druggists. ^ WHEN he sighs for her and she sighs for him, sighin's of the times may be con­ sidered auspicious for a wedding. fever, and rheama* TUB "old Remedy. reliable" -- Dr. Sage's Woman Longer-Live! than Man. In accordance with the doctrine of influx, and in accordance with the func­ tions of the brain, we are compelled to recognize health and longevity as more closely associated with the higher than the lower faculties, the moral rather than the animal nature. This is the reason that woman, with a feebler body, but a stronger moral nature, ranks higher in health and longevity than man. And although from 4 to 5 per cent, more males are born, women , are generally in predominance, often: from 2 to (> per cent. The researches ' of the Bureau of Statistics of Vienna show that about one-third more women I than men reach an advanced age. De ' Verga asserts that of the sudden deaths there are about 100 women to 7<v0 men. The inevitable inference is that the cul­ tivation of virtue or religion is the sur­ est road to longevity, and the indul­ gence in vice and crime the most oer- tain ruin to the body and soul. There is a curious illustration of these principles in the evidence of life insurance companies in reference to spirit drinking and abstinence. The two oldest life insurance companies of England, the General Provident and the United Kingdom, have made records for forty-five years which dis­ tinguish the total abstainers and the moderate drinkers. Drunkards they do not insure at all. The care with which lives are selected for insurance results in a smaller rate of mortality among the insured than in the entire population. This gain was but slight among those classed as moderate drink* ers, for their mortality was only 3 pet cent, less than the average mortality; But among the total abstainers it was 31 per cent less. Thus the proportion of deaths among moderate drinkers compared to that of total abstainers it as 97 to 69.--The Journal of Man. EX-MAYOR LATROBE, Baltimore, Md.t savs the best cough medicine is Red Star Cough Cure. Dr. Samuel K. Cox, D. D., of Washington, D. C., after a careful an­ alysis. pronounced it purely vegetable, and most excellent for throat troubles. Prioa, twenty-five cents a bottle. THE objtd of a hotel bill of fare, be- twt en menn, is to prevent you out what yon are going to eat. Gold Fields, That pan out richly, are hot so abundant a« in the early California days, but those who write to Hallett A Co., Portland. Maine, wilL by return mail, receive, free, full information about work which they can do, and live at home, wherever they are located, that will pay them from 15 to 12.) per day, and upwards. Either sex, young or old. Capital not re­ quired; you are started in business freei Thoso who start at once are absolutely sure of sang little fortunes. BUT few men can handle shot lamp- chimney and say there is no place home at the same time. com rap- like Dogg, Coons, and 'Possnms* ,., The relative degrees of courage be­ tween animals is strangely illustrated "I HAVE been afflicted with an Affection of the Throat from childhood, caused bv dipth- theria, and have nsed various remedies, but have never found anything equal to BROWN'S BBOKCEUAI, TROCHEK --TFCR. G. M. b. Hamp­ ton, Pikelon, Ky. Sold only in boxes. THE proper thing to do when you have A surfeit of dust and heat is to surf it. INDIGESTION, dyspepsia, nervous prostra­ tion, and all forms of general debility re ­ lieved by taking Mensmau's Peptonized Beef Tonic, the only preparation of beef containing its entire nutritious properties. It contains blood-making, force-generating, and life-sus­ taining properties; is invaluable in all en­ feebled condition*, whether the result of* ex­ haustion, nervous prostration, overwork, or acute disease; particnlarly if resulting from pulmonary complaint*. Hazard, Hazard 4c Co., proprietors, New York. 1 HOOD'S n v String is the beat time to purify the blood, for at no other season is the body so susceptible to benefit from medicine. The b«at thing to take is Hood's Sar- between the coon, the 'possum, and the i PArilliflr sarariiia. which by its peculiar dog. The 'possum will kill the coon, ' EetaHc Mirtkui toun*. Averawi Um* required, four month*. 8end for circulars. OW» Sr-hvnl. 8JH A*. Ckn-k {it., CWmM. MENTION THIS TATXK wmm WMM»« I» UTMWT A SIM ja For information about KANSAS or BOABD or Tun*. TOPKKA. KANSAS. MENTION THIS PAT** wm witim TB >, WHO wwn to exaimns ' Ws paper, or obtain Mtimitss en advertising space wttan in Chicago, mil find it on file at 49 »41 Randolph St.,a MR (.TIIAMK Die Advertising Agency OF LUHV m I HIIMKWS ADVERTISERS •- £ «V *' T '<•< J GORES WH . . i good. Use 1 fcr druggists. U M p T I C N FOR HORSES. I" UVULA, W. Va., 1 Nov. 17,1886. J Recently I bought a young horse. He was taken very ill with Pneu­ monia. I tried to think of something to relieve him. Concluded what was good for man would be good for the horse. So I got a bottle of Piso's Cure and gave him half of it through the nostrils. This helped him, and I continued giving same doses night and morning until I had used two bottles. The horse has become perfectly sound. I can recommend Piso's Cure for the horse as well as for man. N. & J. STRIDER. P I S O ' S C U R E F O R CURES WHERE ALL ELSE FAILS. Best Ooogh Syrup. Tastes good. Use in time. Sold by dnuarists. efeerRPEk, culien.. 41® im whil6 the coon will beat the dog. Boar *poesums will light each other when they meet, biting at each other's under jaws. When they once get firmly clinched they will bang to it till one ex­ pires. The victor will then engage the first coon he meets. This is strange, in view of the fact that the 'possum is a eowardly animal, feigning death when sighted by hunters, and giving rise to the expression of "playing" 'possum. The coon fights c at fashion--scratching and biting. The 'posram quietly pro­ ceeds to coil his tau around the coon's neck, choking him into submission. The vanquished coon will arise from his inglorious defeat, and meeting the dog, of which the 'possum stands in mortal dread, will engage him in com­ bat, severely wounding, if not entirely killing, him. The hound dog is the only one which can match the coon, and yet the bulldog, which has been whipped by the coon, will make the hound dog run for dear life. As THE greatest pain cure, St. Jacobs Oil is recommended by public men of America and other countries. Hon. Billa Flint, Life- Senator of the Dominion Parliament, Can­ ada, fonnd it to act like a charm. IF the condensed breath collected on the cool window-panes of a room where a number of persons have beeb as­ sembled be burned, a smell of singed hair will show the presence of organic matter; and if the condensed breath be allowed to remain on the windows for a tew days, it will be found, on ex­ amination by microscope, that it is alive with animalcule. It is the inhalation of air containing such putrescent mat­ ter which causes half the sick, head­ aches, which might be avoided by a circulation of fresh air. combination, proportion, and preparation possesses curative powers nnequaled by any other medicine. Be sure to get Hood's. Do not be lnducedjtoltake any other. Hood's Karsaparflis sold by druggists. |i; six for |t. Prepared by C. I. Hood h Co., Lowell, Mass. IOO Doses One Dollar ELY'S A, CREAM BALM when applied Into thi nostrils will be absorl; ed effectually, cleant ing the head of catarrh nlv!.rua.c«uSingh»*lths accretions. It allays in­ flammation, protecf" the membrane of nasal passages from ditional colds, co pietely heals the soi and restores sense taste *nd smell. NotiLlqildorSn A ({nick Eellel and Positive Curel A particle ia applivd ID .. Price 50cts.at dru^tst^bj mail. Kglidered.«) cts^ OLD CHRONIC HLES..BLT,i£ ̂ oaseti eared by measures mild.sa(e,aud certain. Write tor teferenees. M. HILL. N .Clark 8t.. Chicago. each nostril and is mall. Btowell A US* Oigpulars tree. iROsi.. Druggists. Owego. N.Y. quicker than any known aud to the only Curse and Prevents Colds, Coughs, Sore Throat, Hoarseness, Stiff Nook, Bronchitis, Catarrh. Headaoho, Toothache, Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Asthma, Frostbites, Chilblains. •dr. It was the first PAIN REMEDY ABOVE all other earthly ills, I hate the big, old-fashioned pills; By slow degrees they downward wend. And often pause, or upward tend ; With such discomfort are they fraogh% Their good effect* amount to naught. Now, l.)r. Pierce prepares a pill That just exactly fills the bill-- A Pellet, rather, that is all-- A Pleasant Purgative, and tmall; Just try them ns you feel their need. You'll find that I speak truth, indeed. MOST of the washerwoman. time in hot water--the "Hough on IUrt" whitens clothing yellowed by careless washing or use of cheap washing compounds. Washes everything from finest laces to heaviest blankets. There need be no lear in using this article. Does not rot nor yellow. 5 and 10 cents. IF VOU ARK LOSING YOUR GRIP On life try "Wells' Health Renewer." Goes direct to weak spots. For weak wen, delicate women. "BlIUll'AIBA." Quick, complete cure, all annoying kidney diseases, eatarrh of bladder, etc. fi. If mnstlna. calicoes, etc., appear to not wear or wash aa well as formerly the reitson is in thio nse of inferior alkaline--soup-washing com* pounds that destroy tho texture and neutralize the color*. Khun them! Use "Rough on lllrt." As A raindrop foretells a storm, so does a> pimple upon the human body indicate health- destroying virus m the blood, wh.ch oan be neutralized and expelled only L>y Dr. Barter's Iron Ionic gans, by one application. , „ . .. No matter how violput or excruciating the pain the gheumattc. Bedridden. Infirm. Crippled. Nervous, euralglc, or prostrated with diseases may suffer, RADWAY'S READY RELIEF Will afford Instant esse. Tliirtv to sixty drops in half tumbler of water will lna tew minutes cure Cramps, Spaxnjs. Sour Stom­ ach, Nausea, VomiiinK, Palpitation of the Heart, Mal­ aria, Chills and Fever, Fsintnesw. Heartburn, Sick 6e ad ache. Diarrhea, Dysentery, Colic, Wind in the owels snd all Internal Pains. Klfty Cents perllottle. Bold by Druggiste. DR. RAW WAY & CO., N. Y.t proprietors of lUdwa^-^BanupartUlan Beaolvent sad Send for Pension Laws to II. 8. Claim Agents FI rZGKKALO ft POVVKLI., Indianapolif), Ind. PENSIONS Itlllllll and HM*MM IskltCaNi In lOte I1H||IH Udtjti. Refer to lOOO patients enrsd III III M in all parts. Br. Marsh. OaWXish. 1 f|TC NEW TOWN of BENJAMIN. Wis. Oen. R. R. Ml 19 pistupply MILWAUKEE MINING EXCHANGE, Milwaukee. Wis. Oo^ebic Stocks bought and sold WELLS' HAIR BALSAM. If gray, restores to original color. An elegant dressing; softens and beautifies. No oil nor grease. A tonic restorative. Stops hair coming out; strengthens, clconsos, heals scalp. 5oo. THE best thing on earth to add to starch to GIVE a good body and beautiful gloss is "Rough oa Dirt," only washing compound that can be so nsed. Makes ironing easy and saves the starch. Has dirt-removing power double that Of aajr Other. BRONCHITIS Is cured by frequent small doaea j of Piso's Cure for Consumption. 35 CTS. per year for illustrated monthly with cgantchromo. "Sunbeams,"PortJervis,N.Y. Dr. Isaac sell it 25c. MENTION THIS PA FEE WEITIMO TO iDraimua. PATENTS B. a. At A. P. lucKY, Patent Attorneys, WashiriKton. D.O. _ Instructions snd opinions as ^patentability fBEK. 49*1.7 years' experience. ONLY TSUB elegant ohromo. lr afflicted with Bore Eye.", ui> Thompson's Eye Water. IRON TONIC t Appetite, Indie«at{on,Look of Strength and Tired Fesling ab> , solately cared: Bones, mas* clss and nerves rsoaive new force. Enliven* the mind , and supplies Brsia Power. i--s-^aMM'BiiBeriu from complaintspeen- I AnipJB llor to their Bex willflnd In PR, LW/lCO HARTEB'S II?ON TONIC m •afe, apeedy ears. Gives a clear, healthy complexion. All attempts at counterfeiting only add* to iUjpopt* larlty. Do not experiment--set ORIGIN AX, AKD BEST MENTION THIS PAPES Urea want retlef and cure at your home, sead for Mi Dr. J. A. Sherman's Broadway, Hew Iwfa PERCHERON 200 Imported J SOO to 409 an §£•£ I30.pi«e Wayna, pul»a«a Co., ttttMMfe WIZARD Oil. aw®' ffr&sasre.s.'Bsi < aessed by thousands of people, who oan " THB vomnret KSAUXO rownt or Hamlin's Wizaid OH. Neuralgia, Toothactrt, H--iacfca, EaraaH Catarrh. Cro«p, Sara Tkraai, .. * BML Mill Inlnft RHEUMATISM, Sprains, Bruises, Burns. F« Wounds, Old Saras, CMbMas, Bitas, Sara Nl»las, Cakad ~ All Aches and Palm are qutekly relieved by this magic*! remedy, onoe and yon will never be without It. For Drncglsta. Priee.SOe. OarSotra BOOK Addrass WIZARD OIL COMPANY. CHICHESTER'S ENGLI8H PENNYROYAL PILLS The Original and Only Osnulnai Safe sad always Reliable. Beware oi Bona Ladles, ask your Pi aagtst Kpucl'«fe «nd take no other, or tad C. R. 0. I-3B5IL No. tfMI* MTAPftH I1 vAIJLIMUl V Northern Pacific Rlflfoidf '*• J wmM z 'oJSZ***- S) Qnteu** f t , A *4 14. f7*uIeL "itof . fa Sjdrfr*) Sl»SgU4S!J3tt3 Sick I Headache. Sample Dose and Dream Book 4 mailed on reoelpt of two oenta la pestsge. THE DR. HARTER MEDICINE CO.. ST. LOWS. I !kk I Why did the Wo: jpf this country use over thirteen million cakes of Procter & Gamble's Lenox Soap in 1886? Buy a cake of Lenox and you will soon understand why# , . . . <§« O f f U * r O & o t f * * JaafUt C*CSuM§air I? •*.00. Oi* fl to obtain it from yo«j COMPLETE: 1 vou are unable druggist, we will mall It upon receipt price. Sample mailed on reoelpt of 10? ceut stamp. Address B. 8. LAI DCKBACII Jfc CO., 771 & "13 Broad St., Newark, New Jersey. ftp 0 ̂ p"/sfl bbî „,_«aiM»iMlqrik U - ' ' J t , itp . .. 'A A-i' . . ,%.i