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' Fidgety Husbands* .* would solemnly warn all women lIToui to marry, writes James Payne, to ascertain beforehand that the con­ templated husband is not what is call­ ed a fidget. A leaning toward intern-' Etrance may bo greatly mitigated in ay usband by one's keeping the cellar^ key and not allowing liim any pocket; money; but a fanaticism for being* • always before the time it is difficult to; repress and impossible to extirpate. Bfetter that a bridegroom should not be at the church door until after the rubrical hour, and your marriage be postponed for a dav, than that he should prove himself a lidget by pre­ senting himself at the altar before the| clergyman or yourself is ready for hitn. Your self-love may suggest that| such haste is only the result of his| eager devotion; but do not deceive| yburselves young women--he would have been at the church equally early if it had been to bury you. Thompkins himself is in many re­ spects an excellent husband'^aud I do believe he is very fond of me; but it is timeliness first and feelings afterward with him, I know. Wlu-n business calls him on a journey, only one eve drops a tear at parting with his wife and offspring; the other is fixed on the clock to see that the cab is sent for in time to catch the train. That "catch­ ing the train" is the thought that makes him thin and keeps liim so. Much of his time is necessarily con­ sumed in traveling, but not nearly so ' much as is spent in preparation for his journeys. The day previous to an ex- pedition is mainly occupied in packing His carpet-bag and writing out his direction labels. He leaves over night, as in a will, the most elaborate direct­ ions for the proceedings of the next morning, with a codicil, appointing that he shall be called half an hour earlier than he at first considered soon enough. This last command is wholly superfluous, since he always wakes of himself long before the appointed hour and proceeds to ring the house up. Previous to this he has kept me from my rest since earliest dawn by perpet­ ually getting out of bed to see whether it is going to be fine. Upon this depends the momentous Question: "Shall he take his water­ proof coat or not?" If he does, it should be strapped up at once with the Other things already lying on the hall table ready for departure; not a mo­ ment is to be lost. His toilet is hasty enough, but not speedy; for in his eager desire on retiring to rest to have everything ready for the morning he has "generally packed up his brushes apd comb or some other indispensable thing which has to be disentombed from the portmanteau. He generally shaves overnight; but, if not, I tremble for his throat, since I know with what im­ prudent rapidity he is performing that operation in his dressing room. ' How a Rich Man Grows Richer. .J The most inveterate scajper that V-I^er operated in the Chicago grain market is Millionaire Hutchinson. A gcalper, the uninitiated should be told. Is a trader who jumps in and out with topid deals, satisfied with small profits, £id making as few losses as possible, ost operators want to double their money, and many stand for long Jrofits. Not so with Hutch. His or-ers to his brokers are to close out as , Bpon as they clin show a profit to his #edit. : "What do you mean by a profit, Mr. flutehinson?" inquired a youn^ broker tjie other day, on receiving his first order from the great scalper. "Great heavens!" was the rejoinder. "Haven't you been here long enough tp know what a profit is?" 8 4'Yes, I know what a profit is; but I t>n't know what you consider a satis-ctory profit." • "A profit," Hutch then explained,"is ft profit. Any profit should be satis­ factory to a man who isn't a hog. Young man, fifty dollars i9 a profit- yes, ten dollars, or five dollars, or one djpllar, or even ten cents. And if you can't do any better, one cent is better than nothing at all. Go along and fill that order, and be sure that you earn me a profit, no matter how •mall." The broker said he had been trading Hutchinson's account for seventeen , JWiccessive days, filling several small orders each day, and that in all that time he had not made a loss. Some­ times his profits were only sufficient to pay commissions and a dollar or two over, but the old man was always satisfied. His scalping operations are mid to net him clean profits of several hundreds of dollars a year. Hutch also*believes in making prof­ its wherever possible, either in specu­ lation or out of it. He dabbles in stocks, in oil, in everything when ha sees an opportunity to make an honest dollar. He even buys cigars by the thousand whenever he strikes a par­ ticularly attractive bargain, and then sells them out by the box to members of his Century Club. Not long ago he purchased two or three barrels of fine old whisky at a big bargain--bankrupt <#• Government sale, or something or other--and gave all his friends an op­ portunity to replenish their home Stocks at prices lyhich, though reason­ able, were high enough to add a few bright dollars to the millionaire's ex­ chequer.--Chicago Herald. The Fat and the JLean. It is generally supposed that fat people have much more blood than others. On the contrary, they have The blood they have, moreover, Summer HENRY Attractions! "r: 1 COLBY, ILLINOIS. AN ENURE NEW STOCK OF - - t n lis: j. it- fi *.-?j M*. = rmm --O F-- -AT- Including all the Latest Styles, Shades, and Textures, in Dress Goods, Silks Surahs, Satins, Novelties, Velvets, plain stviped and brocaded. , w -- Sft/.-V Nearly 100 different styles ot fancy Plaids and Stripes, Nain­ sook Checks and Victoria Lawns. Embroidered Robes in all the newest designs and colors. £>i)u Umbrellas and Parasols in all newest designs.. The finest stock ever brought to McHenry. Look them over. In Shawls, Scarfs, Jackets and Wraps, we have the most complete and Cheapest assortment ever shown this section. WOODST1 >CK, order to mike room for one ot the largest stocks of and Winter Goods Ever brought to Woodstock or Into McHenry County, we for the next thirty days sell our spring and summer goods at will in laigest stocks of In this Department can be found one of the Ready Made Clothing in McHenry County, which for style, finish and general make-up cannot be excelled. Our prices are very moderate and we are confident we can please you. Give us a trial. i BOOTS AND SHOES. I The coming season* will find us supplied with our usual complete line of CBILSREH8, 1QSS18, AHD LADHS 8B0IS. In all the latest styles and novelSties, also a fine line of Mens and Boys Shoes* Which will be found up to their usual standard of excelence G R O C K R X E S . We have one of the choicest stocks of Groceries, Canned Good*., etc., in McHenry. C R O C K E R Y , Just received a beautiful assortment of Decorated Crockery, call and see it. Stock complete, including a very large line of standard Patent Medicines, We study to please and guarantee every article we sell to be as represented. Thankful lor past favors, we hope by liberal, fair dealing to merit a generous share of your appreciated patronage. HENRY COLBY. DEALER IK ALL KINDS OF; Tolhe/armers.of McHenryXountylandjYicinityl:, I am now prepared to^show \ new and clean assortment of Agricultural Implements second to none in the county and at prices that I am confident^wilFpav you to investigate before [mak­ ing your purchases. GAtEAXLY REDUCED PRICES. . CONSISTINC OF L&dita tod fonts Fine Shoes, Low Sboo, Shoes and Tot Slippers, The closest competition in this, or any other town, on all Sum** mer Goods still on hand* and which miwt aiid wiU be pold io make1 room for fall goods. White Robes, White Skirts, Summer Shawls^ m Straw Bats, Gloves and Mitts, Laces ! Laces I Goods, Parasols,'s Vf ; * •pi V-i J'J* ' W fans, . . =•." : Lawns, Seersuckers, Swiss an extra large' stock of Misses' and Children's Fine Shoes, Walking hoes and Toe Uppers, and Boy's and Youth's Lace, Con­ gress and Button Shoes in all the latest styles. N. B.--House Established in 1865. to Ota, That our Store 18 HEADQUARTERS FOR-- GOOD BARGAINS. We have just received a now and complete Stock of all kinds of New and Seasonable Goods such as '| M«»9| W«|«0| &Gij Which we offer fit very popular prices, FOR GASH. Don't wait for a second invitation, but come at once and see how we deal, and learn our prices. Butter, Eggs, etc. taken in exchange for Goods, allowing highest market price. ALTHOFF BROS. McHenry, 111., March 28th, 1887. less. BAKER- CO Has recently put in a full new stock of LOT Lawnj Bednced from Be. to 60.--7c. to 5c, ' . •& >U- - j1 ' *> I' V w.r* < n UU Good v alues! No Hum Dug! We are in a position and some goods deals in have the Goods to ftffer our patronti C L O T n @ > i The celebrated all wool DeaL Suit, only ! 10.00, Fancy Scotch Cheviott-, all wool, only $8.50. ' * Boot% Shoes, Rubbers, Our new Fall Stock of above goods has arrived. We carry a large assortment of styles, sizes, grades and widths, and fully warrant all goods stamped O. H. Fargo Ac C^» / Prices the lowest considering quility. L. Candee Rubbers, best on earth. Overalls, Shirts, Jackets, Trunks, Valises, Bags, etc,, CROCKERY, GLASSWARE, Choicest 1887 Teas. No. l Rockford Flour, $1.05. Reaching for Part of Your Trade* Bonslett & Stoffel. JOHN L STORY, l^fOne Door West of the Riverside House, If you want to own the best, behold it here, -fiflely finished, well proportioned, light running, durable, superior quality, unex­ celled. Do you want a wagon? If so examine the Bishop before you buy. H O « I R t I a*' is really pc*>r, while the fat fills the Bpace which is required even for the circulation of that. Fat people have, then, less vital energy than the thin, not possessing sufficient blood to bring every organ up to its full working power, and the fat hindering what blood there is from flowing freely enough to the organs, especially at the tnoment of action requiring it. Be­ sides all this, the fat obstructs the play of the lungs so that sufficient air can­ not be inhaled to purify the blood; the Batural and necessary combustion is thus so interfered with that the func- tions of the body are hindered. It follows that too much exertion should always be guarded against in people of large and fatty development, and too much should never be expected of them---San Francisco Argonaut. Mrs. Polk, the widow of James TL. Polk, tenth I resident of the United States, is over eighty years of age, but * ehe is in good health and possesses memory of unimpaired vigor. She re­ sides in the old Polk homestead at Nashville, Tennessee, a large, roomy two-story brick building. ' „ 11 . <, "w , r. of'thS >wS5dy huH a, specific action upon the fluids , College girls at McMinnville, Ore- / V.gon, are said to have the habit of smo- gMffor BLlJrti'd afwracu'rebr / king dgarettea on the streets. . • << The reliable Water town Buggies 1 <Jru^'Bl8 Miujui»cturoa only1 by tor "ale b* aU ca i always be fouad at Bishop's Wtn> I " LENNEY MEDICINK CO., J tM>uae McHenry. CHINOA. ILLINOIS* Look at the McCprmick Steel Mower, McCormick No. 1 land No. 2; the Iiotl, White and Blue; the N. O. Thompsonn, I Crown; and don't forget that £15 buys a Thompson. R A K E S ! I bare the old reliable HoUlngaworth, that never fails to please. The Star, eteran. wbicta la the beat self-dump rake on the market, and to examine is onl* nvinced. ' Taylor and become , ..The McCormick Steel Harvester still stands ' at the hea<l in all field contests, and nerer fails to &ut and pick up 0««ru and tangled grain...Look at one before you buy. *" ;>V' • H. BISHOP; TO CURE RHEUMATISM. He Practical Fainter aid Decorator HEBRON, ILL. Decorating, Paper-Hanging, CALCIMINING, GRAINING, #« Done on short notice and satisfaction guaran­ teed. Gall on or address, H. FISH. Hebron, I1L, May tSd, UST. Which he will sell at such prices as*ilt make it an object for every person, when in McHenry, to call if in want of any Goods in his line. For both Goal and Wood, of the best makes, always on band. J O B B I N G A N D R E P A I R I N G , Promptly attcwlod to. A share of Public Patronage respectfully Mlioited. *i~Stor<i opposite Bishop's Mill, Z McHenry, June 20th, 1387, H. V. 8HEPARD. we 3P. West McHenry, -DEALER IN- Sklf ait Heavi Hardware, Stoves, Tin, Copper and Sheet-Iron Ware --A riTLL 8TOOK OF THE CELEBRATED-- PENINSULAR GASOLINE STOVES, Come and see our Galvanized Iron Kergsene Tanks, that make ourselves, that wilt b01 The^Church Swivel Hay Carrier, with Tracks, Hangings, Floor Hooks and Pulleys, the best in the market. Call and see it. OF Bealey's Famous Waukeg&o Ale and Porter On draught at J. Bonslett's, •« X*- (lea's ftad John Heimer's. For both coal and wood, of the best makes, always on hand. In short I will keep everything' in the Hardware line, to be found in McHenry county. Do not fail to call when in want of anything in my line and g^^hat can be done. I have employed a first class Tinner, and all Will be done on short notice and specialty of Nutter Factory work, respectfully solicited. atlsfaction A share of Guaranteed. A public patronage W. F. STEVENS, SEALER IN Also the Celebrated Garland Stoves and Ranges, Gasolene and Oil Stoves aid Ranges. And in short, everything ii&the Hardware, Stove and Tin Line. JOBBING AND RSFAXRXJfGI Promptfy Attended To. JOHN I- STORY- McHenry, 111., May 18th, J1887. -DEALER INm Table and Pocket Cutlery, Spades, Shovels, Forks, Rakes, Nails, etc. Building Hardware a specialty. Fishing Tackle and Gun Materials, etc. F ancy Groceries, Flour, and everything belonging to a First Class Grocery, Cigars and Tobacco, Pipes, etc. COME A^D SEE ME. You run no risk. 1 guarantee my prices to average lower than any other house in the county, I guarantee everything that goes out oi my Store or money returned. What risk do you JJJ? RM* ENGEIBN* Near the Iron Bridge, McHenry, 111, /