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I. VAN SLYKK. UhrM rf j»cHENEY, ILLINOIS. FEBD WARD has given his opinion of Hie operation* of young Mr. ITM in Wall street Ward was seen in Sing the other day by an acquaintance, and when asked what h« thought of fci-aciousW replied: fcWeiU» We* jkndandy, he is." IN Duxbury, Mass., there Hves i n n lonely old house a most interesting character. Capt. John Alden, a man of 74, is the only occupant. He is able to trace his descent through seven gen­ erations back to John Alden, who came over in the Mayflower. The hQose in which he lives was built in CHARLES SUMKEB'B private secretary, Arnold B. Johnson, speaks of .the great statesman's sweet tooth in a cur­ rent magazine article. Sumner was especially fond of chooolate creams, and held that as long as he could eat candv his digestion was in good ord3r. He never smoked, and never tasted of but once. DANIEL SPEAKER, President of the llohawk River Bank at Fonda, N. Y., Is probably the oldest bank president In this country. He has held his pres­ ent position since the bank was founded in 1835. He is now 90 years of age, and is in a very precarious state of health. He has been blind and deaf for some years, fetit attended to his duties at the bank up to a few days •go. M. NAQUET, who was arrested for lazing his opponent's sword in a re­ cent duel and then wounding him, has finally been condemned to two months' imprisonment and a fine of ISO francs, with an additional sentence of paying 1 franc damages to his antagonist. The oourt could not legally condemn him as a duelist, and the charge on which he was tried and convicted was Msault and battery. > T^AK innovation has been made within , S year or two in the style of hose worn a certain class of New Yorkers. The change is not one of quality but of form. It consists in providing a pocket for each toe, after the fashion of a glove. This makes the regular "digitated" hose, but there is also a "one-toed" ftyle, made like a mitten, with a sep­ arate pocket for the great toe. Lead­ ing dealers say that many of these stockings are sold. J Jt is claimed that Portland, Oregon, li the third richest eity in the world per capita. The population of the city is estimated at from 25,000 to 40,000. There are twenty business houses hav­ ing a capital of $1,000,000 and upwards. Houses rented at $40,000 and upwards represent an investment of $8,700,000 npon the basis of the lowest rating in each case. A conservative estimate of the annual wholesale trade places it at 100,000,000. The aggregate capital of the banks is $6,742,514. A PROMINENT lawyer of Bridgeport, Gonn., whose sedentary habits and lib­ eral diet had increased his weight to 250 pounds, found an effective anti-fat specific in the form of walking, whereby he reduced his surplus to the extent of forty-two pounds within a few months. At first it required a good deal of en­ ergy to overcome such an amount of inertia; but gradually it became an easy and delightful task to walk tenor twelve miles a day. And his head Was e|earer on account of the exercise. FORTY years ago there died in Padua the physician and chemist, Q. B. Masse- daglia, who had succeeded in petrify­ ing several animal bodies, which he be­ queathed to the university museum. To his. will he had! attached a sealed letter containing the seoret of his method of petrifaction, which was only to be divulged to his legal heirs. Until recently all search for the heirs of Dr. Massedoglia remained fruitless, but they have at last been discovered, and are offered very large sums for the se- cret, which, however, they refuse to disclose for the present. TEN or twelve of the chief cities of fhe West and South were founded by Canadians--a fact of importance, the memory of which has been preserved by M. Joseph Tasse, of this city, in his valuable work entitled "Les Canadiens de l'Ouest" Detroit owes its rise to Lamothe-Cadillac, Duluth to Dulude, Dubuque to a pioneer of the same name, St. Joseph, Mo., to Robidoux, St. Louis to Laclede-Liguest, Galves­ ton to Bienville, Mobile and New Or­ leans to Iberville, and Chioago, St. Paul, Louisville, and Yincennes to Ca- .jpadian settlers. MR. JOHN GRAY, who lives four miles from Byron, Ga, happened to have the good fortune to find several hundred dollars in gold, which had been hidden •way perhaps for years in the seat of Hp old invalid chair in his possession. The money fell out while he was trying to repair the seat of the chair. It was Wrapped in pieoes of paper. When Mr. Taylor died his brother, Mr. James Taylor, the administrator of the estate, believing that the old chair would Vring nothing at the sale, gave it to Mr. John Gray, who is very poor and has been a cripple, unable to work, all his life. - ARHAND CAKBEL, to whom a monu­ ment has just been erected at Bouen, had a stormy career. He was advent­ urous from the moment that he left St Cyr until he was shot by Emil de Girardin, who swore on the tomb of his adversary r.ever to fight a duel •gain. When fighting in Spain in the .foreign Liberal Legion, which was composed of Frenchmen and Italians, the Colonel, an Italian, thought he saw the French waver, and Baid so. "You p^aetMikd^Carrel, and charged with :iikd we* about to-throwa ofcairnt the Preri- dertt, when he wit oartied o«t of the eonrt by soldiers. ONE of the most prodigious engineer­ ing projects now on the tapis is that for tunneling the Boeky Mountains tinder Tray's Peak, which rises no lees than 14,441 feet above the level of the sea. It is stated that 4,441 feet below the pe?Jc, toy tssmolfrxg xrczi for 25,000 feet direct communication would be opened between the valleys on the American slope and thoea on the ; Pacifie side. This would shorten the i distance between Denver in Colorado and Salt Lake City in Utah, and con­ sequently the distanoe between the Missouri River, say at SI Louis, and San Francisco, nearly 300 miles, and there would be little more required in the way of ascending or descending or tunneling mountains. Part of the work has already been accomplished. The country from the Missouri to the foot of the Rockies rises gradually in rolling prairie until an elevation is reached of 5,200 feet above the sea level. The Rockies themselves rise at various places to a hight exoeeding ll^XX) feet Of the twenty most famous passes only seven are below 10,000 feet, while five are upwards of 12,000, and one is 13,000 feet ' The point from which it is proposed to tunnel is sixty miles west from Denver, and although one of the highest peaks, it is by far the narrowest in the great haekboae of the American continent. A BULLETIN of the United States Fish Commission, just issued, gives the following account of the killing of a man by a sword fish: "The schooner Tonus is a small vessel of about twelve tons, engaged in the general fisheries off the - coast of Massachusetts. On Monday morning Capt Langford sailed from home in pursuit of sword fish. About 11 a. m., when eight miles north­ east from Halibut Point, in Ipswich Bay, a fish was seen. The Captain, with one man, taking a dory, gave ohase and soon harpooned the fish, throwing over a buoy with a line attached to the harpoon, after which the fish was left and they returned to the vessel for din­ ner. About an hour later the Captain, with one man, again took his dory and went out to secure the fish. Picking up the buoy, Capt Langford took hold of the line, pulling his boat toward the sword fish, which was quite large and not badly wounded. The line was taut as the boat neared the fish, which the Captain intended to lance and thus kill it. When near the fish, but too far away to reach it with the lanoe, it quickly turned and rushed at and under the boat, thrusting its sword up through the bottom of the boat twenty-three inches. As the fish turned and rushed toward the boat the line was suddenly slacked, causing the Captain to fall over on his back, and while he was in the act of rising, the sword came pierc­ ing through the boat and into his body. At this time another sword fish was in sight near by, and the Captain, excited and anxious to secure both, raised him­ self up, not knowing that he was wounded. Seeing the sword, he seized it, exclaiming: 'We've got him any­ way 1' He lay in the bottom of the dory, holding fast to the sword until his vessel came alongside, while the fish, being under the boat, could not be reached. Soon the Captain said: 'I think I am hurt, and quite badly.' When the vessel arrived he went on board, took a few steps and fell, never rising again. The boat and fish were soon hoisted on board, when the sword was chopped off to free the boat, and the fish was killed on the deok of the vessel. The fish weighed 245 pounds after its head and tail were cut off and the viscera removed; when alive it weighed something over 300 pounds. Capt. Langford survived the injury about three days." Oscar Wilde's Necktie. "I had a funny time with Oscar Wilde," observed a brilliant young noveiiat from a corner where he had been sitting silent with the pretty young lady who for the time being was the best beloved of his somewhat fickle souL "I was awfully impudent to him, but I knew all about his being brought Over here to advertise 'Patience,' and I didn't feel like taking him very seri­ ously. He was only an advertisement got up for the benefit of polite society and to let people know what the asthetic craze was." ' He paused as if he had forgotten what he had started out to tell, but upon being reminded that he had not completed his story be continued rather explosively: "Ah! Oh, yes. I was going to say, I was walking down street one night when he overtook me. I'd met him once or twice and he walked along with me, ufitil presently he asked me to come in while he bought a cravat. He went into a store and tumbled over everything he could find with the most toploftical air in the world, and at last he said: 'I can't find a oravat in America of a color a gentleman can wear.' I looked at him, and in that way youll sometimes be very much an­ noyed at a little thing, and I was all at once utterly out of patience with him, and before I thought or realized what I was saying I blurted out, 'If you would let your beard gcgw as long as your hair, you might get along without one.' He looked rather astonished, but he managed to pull up a smile, and take it as an American pleasantry."--Provi­ dence Journal. Absorption of Disease by Por#us Weed. A celebrated physician has remarked that every house ought to be pulled down at the end of its sixtieth year, as it has by that time absorbed all the diseases of those who have lived in it, believing that wood and plaster absorb gases, foul air, and feverish exhalations as readily as milk or water does. But as it is not practicable to tear down houses every half-century or so, it is to be considered if all the wood used in their interior construction and all the plain surfaces of plaster should not be so thoroughly oiled or varnished that the power of absorption should be al­ most entirely destroyed, and the char­ acter thus so changed that destruction would be jfojonger desirable. --Sar* r i U F f c y T -- W m . I W Gen. James&Briab<n, in the Omaha Republican, writes as follows of a soene witnessed in the eamp of the An*ahoe<&isf Friday: "In about an hour they drew up be­ fore the tents in warpaint and feathers, and were as fine a looking set of young fellows as I had overseen. They sat their horses like oentefm, and were ease and craoo its«Jf fa th« Ai u aigu&l £i:oi& UiC. ©M&£ they foegaii their movements with a yell that sent the blood curdlingto the heart and was enough, if heard unawares or in the night time, to make one's hair stand on end. In a moment they had disap­ peared over a neighboring hill to the right, and I thought they had gone, bat, hearing a mighty trampling of horses, I looked to the left and there they came. I can compare it to noth­ ing but the wind, and tney swept past so swift and compact that they looked like a ball of horses and men. Split­ ting in two, one body swept 'to the right and another to the left, and again disappeared. In about two minutes the two bodies charged each other in solid lines, and I waited almost breathlessly for the shock, but as the horses' heads almost touched each other the files skillfully opened to the right and left and the lines passed through the in­ tervals without touching. Wheeling to the right about they passed back in an instant and again disappeared over the hills. It was about fifteen minutes bo- fore they came in sight, and Friday in­ formed me they were blowing their horses. Presently on they came and wheeled by fours, formed columns, broke by fours, and finally deployed as skirmishers. It was now we saw the finest individual horsemanship. Some would approach lying so close to the pony's back nothing but the horse could be seen. Others stood up and rode as circus men da Some would hang with one foot and one hand on the horses and sweep by, their bodies com­ pletely protected by the bodies of the animals. Some leaped upon the ground, holding to the mane of the horse, and after running a step or two would swing themselves up on the backs of the horses again as easily as any circus man could do it The posi­ tions they assumed and the feats of horsemanship which they performed were incredible, and I doubt if any­ thing outside of a circus ring ever equaled it They would throw objects on the ground and piok them up again while passing at full speed, the warriors hanging to the sides of the horses with one foot and one hand. They drew bows and shot arrows from underneath the necks and even the bellies of their horses while riding at a fast gallop. Our cavalry could not. learn to ride as well as tliese Indians did if each man was trained for twenty years. They exchanged horses while riding, and got behind each other. One man would fall off his horse as if wounded, and two others would ride up beside him, and, taking him by an arm and leg, swing him between their horses and carry him off. The exhibition, or drill, as Friday called it, lasted nearly two hours, and the men and horses were completely exhausted. I had never seen such magnificent feats of horse­ manship in my life, and I freely said so. At this Friday was much pleased, and, calling up the young men, re­ peated to them in a loud voioe what I had said, and added a few words of his own complimenting them. The young men were very proud of the manner in which they had acquitted them­ selves, and I could imagine the feelings of their parents and sweethearts. The performers were much worn out, some of them being hardly able to stand after their violent exercise, and all the evening I saw them lying in the lodges, where the Indian women brought them food and water, bathed their hands, hair. * At the Musicals. 4 ;; Mr. and Mrs. Fraud to each other:-- Mrs. F. --How utterly stupid it all is. There's nobody here I care anything for. Mr. F.--Nor L The singing is aw­ ful, and I won't stay to hear Spouter read. Mrs. F.--Mercy! is he going to read? I don't see how Mrs. Bedfern does man­ age to get so many stupid people to­ gether, Mr. F.--Oh, she has the culture and intellectual craze just bad enough to rave over cranks of all kinds. Let's go. Mrs. F.--Oh, we can't until Miss Screech gets through singing. How she does squeak! There's Professor Wise. He's to read a paper on ploto- plasms. Great thing for a musical©. I'd stay for refreshments if it wasn't for that But I'm bored to death now. Mr. F.- So am L I've yawned three times in as many different faces now. Mr. and Mrs. F. to hostess: Mrs. F.--We are so sorry to have to go so early, dear Mrs. Bedfern, bnt I am not quite well I did so want to hear Professor Wise's paper, too. Mr. F.--And 1, too. But I really must insist on my wife's going home early. We've en joyed the evening thus far so much. How charmingly Miss Screech sings! Mrs. F. --Oh, beautifully! How do you manage to get so many delightful people around you, Mrs. Redfern? It is always a treat for us to come to your house. And I have so enjoyed it to­ night If my poor head didn't hurt so I should 80 like to hear Mr. Spouter read. Will Miss Screech sing again, yes? Oh, Mr. Fraud, shall we stay. Mr. F.--No, no, my dear; not with Jour head hurting so. I can't allow it. only wish it were otherwise. But now we must go. Good night, Mrs. Redfern. Such a delightful time. Mrs. F.--Oh, charming, charming! Good night! So sorry to go. Good night--Detroit Free Press. Bathing in France. To begin with, the bathing-boxes are made attractive and light by their can­ vas covers stretched over a pretty- shaped framework of wood. A mirror and a rack of fresh towels, a basin, and such necessities of the dressing-room adorn the interior, as well as a soft rug on the floor. The bathing master is in attendance, and a pull on the little bell-rope which hangs inside the door brings this alert little person to the bath-house to do the bidding of the occupant This cheerful attendant ar­ ranges monsieur's bathing wardrobe and dressing-case, and provides him with warm water, all for the modest sum of 1 franc. When the bather is arranged in his bathing suit of careful cut, with his long mantle deftly ad­ justed by his valet of the bath, he daintily treads his way toward the platform extending out into the water, an<l which ends in a spring-board. He makes up hiS mind as he wanders along to the shock ef hie first leap into the *i i breaker, to him to swim, if lie shall need such tell him where are the On the opposite side are the bathing- madhinee few the ladles, with a neat Mtle coiffed maid in attendance. Here there is the extra garment of the bath --the oork jacket--which the polite little mistress of the bath insists that madam shall wear, willy nilly. Two honrE is not considered too loug fc* & bfeUi i»i, Trouville, while at a fashion­ able American resort half an hour is thought to be quite enough, if not a wicked waste of precious time, tiraeh is the difference in people. * The Kayak la Greenland. Writing in the Century of the Green­ land kayak, Gen. Greely says: This dangerous craft is gradually dying out in Greenland, and only the brighter and more ambitious boys aequire it. Practice must commenoe at a tender age, and must be continued assiduously. Jens had a pride and delight in the art, such as was unusual in his settlement For those who have never seen a kayak I will imperfectly describe it as a shuttle-shaped boat, consisting of a wooden frame-work, which is fastened together generally by sealskin thongs, and over which is stretched a covering of tanned sealskin as neatly and tightly as in the sheepskin,, of a drum-head. The skin covering is so well tanned, and it is so deftly sewn together with sinew thread by the Eskimo women, that no drop of water finds its way through skin or seam. The use of seal throngs in uniting the stanohions gives great strength and equal elasticity, al­ lowing with impunity great snooks which otherwise would destroy so frail a structure. The boat is usually some fifteen feet long, and from its central point gently curves upward--from a width of twenty and a depth of ten inches--to pointed ends. Both prow and stern are carefully armed with a thin molding of walrns ivory, which is a protection to the skin covering when the hunter, spinning through the water, strikes small ice, or, in landing, so throws forward and upward his kayak that boat and man riide easily and safely up the edge on to the level sur­ face of a floe. The only opening is a circular hole with a bone or wooden ring, its size being strictly limited to the circumference of the hips of the largest hunter who is to use it A waterproof combination jacket and mitten of oil-tanned sealskin is worn by the hunter, who tightly laces the bottom to the ring, BO that no water cau enter the kayak. Thus equipped the Innuit hunter faces seas which would swamp any other craft and plunges safely through the heaviest serf. A single oar, with a blade at each end, in skillful and trained hands propels this unballasted, unsteady craft with great rapidity, and it moves through the water at a rate varying from five to ten miles an hour, accord­ ing to the character of the sea and the exigency of the occasion. The oar properly handled enables an expert to rise to the surface if, as happens at times, tho boat is overturned. The kayak of the Esquimau is probably unsurpassed in ingenuity by the boating devices of any other savage people of the globe. Its essential points of lightness, buoyancy, and structural strength are marvelously well adapted to the varying and dangerous conditions under which an Esquimau provider seeks his sea gome. This tiny craft with all hunting gear weighs scarcely fifty pounds, and will carry load of some 200 pound* besides its occupant Story of Wilkes Booth's Death and Barial. Edward P. Doherty, who is now an Indian trader on the Cheyenne River, Dakota, held John Wilkes Booth in his arms when he died. He was in com xnand of the company which captured him. Mr. Doherty thus tells the story: "1 was a lieutenant then in charge of my company, and had been in hot pur­ suit of Booth ever since he rode from Washington. We knew he was, or had been, in the neighborhood where we captured him, but had no definite idea where he was hiding. On the after­ noon of April 25, 1865, I was riding at the head of the few soldiers with me, along a country road, when by chance we met a person who told us where Booth was hiding. We had already left the house five or six miles in the rear. That night, or rather the next morning about 4 o'clock, we sur­ rounded the barn where he was oon- cealed. "It was a kind of tobacco house, and rather smalL Of course he was on the alert and heard us closing in upon him. We called upon him to Bur- render, but he refused. Some one set fire to the barn and I rushed up to the door. Booth's companion came for­ ward and surrendered to me. At this juncture the soldiers were closing in rapidly, and none too soon, |or Booth raised his gun to shoot me when the report of Corbett's rifle rang out clear and sharp upon the morning air. The actor fell forward as I rushed to him and caught him in my arms. The ball had penetrated his head in almost the same spot where he had shot Lincoln. I lifted him in my arms and carried him out of the burning barn. I spoke to him, but the only words he uttered were: 'Useless! Useless!' I think he had reference to the surrender of his companion and that he meant resistance would be useless. He waved his right hand when uttering the words, as if he would have his companion leave. He evidently believed him a traitor. He sank back into my arms unconscious and shortly afterward died. I sewed his body up in my army blanket and went with it to Washington. His face was not badly mutilated, as reported, and he was recognized beyond question as John Wilkes Booth. His body was not spirited away, but kept a long time in Washington, and finally carried to Baltimore. It now lies in a cemetery there. "I received quite a sum of money as part of the reward offered for his capture. Many stories have been written about the death of Booth, but the bare details I have given you are correct I remember that night, though, as if it were yesterday, and the picture of that burning barn, the fatal shot, and Booth's death is vivid still*" Carl Pretzel's Philosophy* Vhen der bleed comes der hetttt out, on accound of misfordune, dhere vas notting so good to shtob dor bleed like der comfort yon found out in der Bible book. On der outside in of efery heart dhere vas a spheck of benefolences und gootneas. Some fellers shtod der cafity ub mit cross eyed looks, so yon coodn't see dot pooty gwick. I belief me in woomans snfferage on ackpund dhey vas suffer-ago so much-- aind HL--Carl n« jour* and far TheEariof w. his companion in the railway earriage had a remarkably pushing apeeimen of the commercial traveler who attempted to force a speaking acquaintance. Seeing his lordship perusing the Boe­ ing Calendar, he "broke earth" with the remark: "Racing is a great institution. Sup pose you are going to the Ayr meeting ?" , ."Iam going as far as Ayr," replied "Pity young swells get fieeoed by blacklegs. Some noblemen, I hear, drop fortunes on the turf." "Indeed!" "Do a bit myself sometimes--a ten­ ner or a pony's about my cut. Know anything good for to-day worth lay while touching ?" > "I am not a tipster." "Beg pardon; saw you reading the Racing Calendar, thought you might know." "Well," replied his lordship with a quiet smile, "if I give you the straight tip will it be of service to you?" "Depends if I fancy it" "Put your tenner or pony on Lord Bosebery's Chevronel for the Welter Cop." "Not for Joseph! I never back Lord Bosebery's horses. They say he's a regular chumkin." "Indeed! Perhaps they're right However, you asked me. I can only add that I heard Lord Rose be ry him­ self tell what you term a chumpkin to back his horse." "Depend upon it, if it was all right he would not let you hear his conver­ sation. Mum would be his game. Why, there's a lot in that race. Ill "flfall a case to into the offic dinner*" as he •aid a tome into "Hard luck this summer?" "You bet Just walked into town. Say, reckon loan get * chanos to sub on something a few days"' "Oh, yes, good chance." "I ain't had no luck sinoe I had a 5aper of my own when I first struck the 'erritory." "What made yon quit the business*" ^Mwukcy-work. You sea there was a Erominent citizen of the place and a eavy advertiser named Beasley. He went East to get a complete new s'ock of bar fixtures for his place of business. One day while he was gone another prominent citizen, who took six copies of the paper and sent them to friends, whose name was McCann, was seen out riding with Beasley's wife. I thought it would be thunderin' smart to write it up an' boom the street sales of the PaP®fc though there'd never-been a copy sold mi the streets since it was started. So I wrote a column an' a couple o' sticksful awful sensational an' smart, an' then went an' set it. Just 'fore I slid it into the forms I kinder got lookin' at it ah' wonderin'. I thought Td get somebody else's opinion. So I showed the proof to Jim Tanglewood. Jim read it and laughed an* snorted till I thought he would bust, and then says he, 'chuck it in.' Then I let Hen Clark look at it an' he oouldn't more'n half read it it tickled him so. Then he looked up an' says he: 'Old hoss, that's blame good--sock it in.' I showed it to a lot more leadin' citizens and they all 'lowed it was a good joke on old Beasley and McCann, an' that Mrs. Beasley would be tickled 'most to death bet you a pony Lord Bosebery don't over it The only thing they varied in win it" :J »"' "'*• " "Really, I am not accustomed to bet in railway carriages with strangers." "There's my card. Fact is you ain't game to bet" "I think you'll lose your money; but as yon challenge me let it be a bet. You'll see me in the stewards' inclos- ure at the course. I have no cards with me. "Agreed. It's a bet I bet yon an even pony against Chevronel for the Welter Cup. But what's your name, young fellow?'- "Primrose^ Sometimes I am other­ wise addressed." "All right, Primrose; pay and re­ ceive after the race." The companions separated at the station. Chevronel won* in a canter, and the commercial man received next was some eaid 'chuck it in,' and some, 'sock it in.' I b'lieve, though, old man Perkins (he was the principal of the school) did say, 'shove heV in.' An' Elder Blodgett (he was only a min'ster Sundays) said, 'young man, play it on 'em--go right ahead with your rat killin' an' Pm cussed ef I don't stick gartof it into my sermon next Sab- "So I went back an' hung the ohafee 'round it and drove in the quoins with the stove poker an' jabbed some Dutch­ men into the ads. an' swore a little, an' h'isted up the forms an' sponged off the bottom of 'em with my shirt sleeve, an' put 'em on the press. Then I planed 'em down with a piece of floorin', cussed the boy 'cause the roller wouldn't dis­ tribute, an* jerked the old lever, cussed _ _ some more when I saw the paper an' morning a short "note by a inessenger ! lftid il on the dry goods box I used for from the stewards'stand: "Mr. Prim- j a stone. _ , Just then McCann came in an rose (Lord Bosebery) would feel obliged by Mr. handing to his servant £25 which his lordship will have much pleasure in forwarding as a donation to the Commercial Travelers' Orphan Asylum." The commercial man paid his money, looking very crestfallen, and was heard to ejaculate, "Done! Who on earth would have dreamt that the good-look- ing, affable young fellow, who I imag­ ined was a chumpkin, was, in fact, none other than the Earl of Rosebery, giving me an honest tip about his own horse.by which I was fool enough to lose £25! Anyway, he's a regular trump, and he's right--I'm the chumpkin after all!"-- Court Journal " A Nervoas Wonum. A nervous woman, on board a rail­ road train in Missouri, oslled the con­ ductor and said: "I would like so muoh to take a sleeper, for I've been up three nights, band runnin', but I am afeerd." "What are you afraid of, madam?" "W'y, I'm afeerd that the train mout run off the track." "But will your staying awake keep it on the track?" "Wall, do you know I hadn't thought of that? W'y, my settin' up here with my eyes open kain't have the slightest effect upon the train, oan it?" "None that I can see." "Then if you was iu my plaoe you'd go in the sieeper an' git a good night's rest?" "I certainly should." "Well, 1 will; but whenever you think there's any danger of the train runnin' off, w'y, I wish you'd have me called." She went into the sleeper. About three hours later, while the oonductor was passing through the train, he found the woman sitting on the seat which she had occupied during the day. "Why, madam, I thought yon had "I did," s£? replied, "but the fetch- taked train kep' a threatenin' an' a threateuin' to run off the track till I thought the safest plan would be fur me to git right out an' set here where I ken watch everything, but do you know that when I got up that fetch- taked nigger in there had tuck my shoes and sloped off with 'em ? Well, he had done that very thing, an' I had the hardest sort of work gittin' 'em bapk again, fur the cussed rascal had put a little dab of blaekin' on 'em an' wanted to charge me 10 cents. I paid the conductor $2 for the shelf--or berth, as he calls it, but I reckon he'll give it back to me in the mornin'." "He won't give it back." "He wont?" "No." "Not if I tell him I am a pore widder?" * "That won't make ftny difference;" "Wall," bouncing up, "I'll jest go back there an' lay there waitin' fur the train to run olT, fur 111 be bound if I'm goin' to be beat out of my money thater way. Whenever the train starts to run off you mout call me, an' if you hear a awful rumpus in there you may know that the cussed nigger is airter my shoes again, an' that I am defendia' my rights."--Jrkansaw Traveler. Modesty and Discretion. Most men like modest girls best. Modesty is discretion; that's alL The modest girl won't let you hold her hand when there's anybody likely to see; but she's whole-souled when there's nobody looking and gives you both her hands. I have known young ladies who would squeeze your hand tenderly, look into your eyes, and do everything that was agreeable in the most shameless man­ ner before other people; but when they were alone with you they'd sit half a mile off and talk primly about the weather. I don't think those girls would make good wives. At all events, they don't make good sweethearts, and about marrying it is much the same as with boys eating cherries. They lay aside the best to finish up with, but when they get to what they've laid aside they're so full of cherries they can't enjoy any more. Of course there are boys who eat all the good ones first. But it seems to me all rules work both ways anyway and end in discomfiture of some kind. The only rule of life ex­ perience brings us to is never to lose a chance of fun when we can get it--San .is® lowed he'd read that funny business 'bout him. While he was gettin' through it (he read mighty slow, but a blame' sight better'n I wished he could) Jim Tanglowood dropped in an' read it like he'd never seed it before an' shook his head an' said it might be funny but he couldn't see it that way, an' he lowed McCann wouldn't when he got through it Then Hen Clark ran through it an' looked gloomy, an' wanted to know ef it Was too late to take out his ad. {hat week. He said to stop his paper any> how, he couldn't stand no such scandal. He reckoned McCann would rip when he got through it. Old man Perkins an' Elder Blodgett put their noses up in the air an' p'inted at McCann an' made big motions with* their arms 'ail they were tellin' me to look out when he got through. "Well, when I got t>out forty paper* printed--I reckon, mebby the edition was half or two-thirds off-- MoCann got through, an' looked 'round sort o' mixed-up like. 'Quite a joke on you. Colonel McCann,' says I with a smile that made me feel sick at the stomach 'Joke, blank!' roared McCann, 'tryin to make trouble 'tween me an' Beasley, hey?' Then he made a break for m# an' kicked me one an' h'sted me up oil tho forms. 'Leinme shut up the ma< chine an' sqush the infernal steer in it T he howled. But he didn't know how td turn down the frisket, an' while he was straggling with it I wiggled over an' fell through the window an' run fer the fair grounds. "An' after I was gone MoCann jes' ripped things, an' Jim, an' Hen, an' old man Perkins, an' tbe Elder turned in an' helped him, an' the derned fool boy stood 'round an' told 'em how they could do the most hurt An' Mrs. Beasley showed up 'fore they got through, with a kettle o' hot water which the boy directed her to throw on the rollers, seein' as I was gone, an' she couldn't douse me with it, an' then she ripped the inside all out o' the diction­ ary an' took the files to put under the carpet, an' got so tired McCann had to go home with her an' help support her. "An' they say that when Beasley got home the next day he made 'em think they hadn't done scarcely anything. When he found there wa'n't nothiu' left to rip he just put a can o' blastin' pow­ der under the buildin', lit the fuse with his cigar an' run; an' when she went of! it blowed the whole buildin' galley west "I never went back. I've been tonrist ever sinoe, an' I'm goin' to Btiok to it Got any tobacco Dakota Bell Always Tell Mother. Tiiere is something that tugs at one's heart in the last words of the young woman in Sacramento who shot Patter son and then committed suicide with morphine. After being long in a stu­ por she rallied a moment and said to the attendant: "Please don't tell mother." It was the final illumination of a path that was ending in gloom and disgrace. Made the victim ot heartless selfishness by the man she had killed, and going to her final account tarnished and forlorn, she was, after all, the vio- tim of not telling mother. There is no way of estimating the sorrow and sin and suffering that would be avoided if the confidence of children continued through life to run to their mothers. Over the grave of this girl, dead un­ timely by her own hand, on which was the blood of another, might be in­ scribed the epitaph: "Died in her youth, heartbroken, dishonored, s slayer, self-slain, because she would not tell mother."--San Francisco Alta. Little Helen. Little Helen, 3 years old, out hei thumb; she kept very quiet about it until it began to bleed, then she screamed: "Oh, mamma, mamma! come quick, the gravy's all a-running out!" The same little girl, with her papa, mamma, and little brothers, was spend­ ing one summer at her grandpa s. One day at dinner, grandpa, having so mucb larger family than usual, was some­ what absent-minded and waited on all except Helen. She sat quietly back is her chair and said very demurely, "Poor little girl! Poor little Helen!"-- B a b y h o o d . . NECESSITY act innocent, may render a but it cannot donbtful make it two ek tkn«M% --Gas was struck in Mcndota wMdnfee city limits, with a ptesnne of tmî |||kr poenAi to till sqssrs IneK, a* m dsftit ef ninety feet --The oldest lawsuit In IUiaois has bessi on tbe docket for forty-two years. II bs» gns $3 Lc-i, Lia ssst cipals about $7,000. --James Haisch, of CMnajs, wasboend over to the Grand Jury snder #900 bond at Rockford, on a charge «f riling the tffl of O, C. Wheat, a photogi apfcei. --The Atlanta water-works aie approaching completion. Several chants are making arrangements to estt* duct the water to their buildings. --A Peorian has collected 4^100 esaplgr paper eoffee packages of a New lade Arm, and sent them East with the snisiitaHjl of securing one of the prises oifeied by to company. , --Burglars went through fee haiss «i President Hook, of the Jacksonville Eastern Railway, recently, and sows eight or nine other houses. The oeenpentsef the dwellings were viewing the parade of F©repaugh's circus. --A panther, supposed to have escaped from some menagerie, is roaming through the woods between Geneva and Batavia. It has killed half a dozen dogs, two cons;, and exhumed several bodies from the East Side Cemetery at Batavia. --Sorghum making has begwt to Totaso, and all the mills am now grinding out liquid sweetness. The crop of cane it short, but it is well matured, and the Sjmp made will be of extra quality. There will be a considerable quantity for export. --A piece of what was thought to be part of a burned human body was taken to Champaign by John Cole from near Og- den. It was taken from a straw stack which was mysteriously fired and bamei. Two pistol-shots wen heard near the stack, and very quickly fire burst out in the stack. The matter creates eome ex­ citement --A most ffcmarkable yield of oats tap just been thrashed by Martin Brownfield, of Bomer Township. On eight acres of ground he had €72 bushels, machine nre, being eighty-fonr bushels per The oats were extremely fine and weighing out 110 bushels per acre, ground was carefully prepared and at the rate of three bushels per aftre. --The Wabash eastward-bound ger train ran down a well-dressed man Hfii deep cut five miles east of Toledo, recent­ ly. His head, both arms, and legs cut off, and the body so shockingly lated that the Coroner's jury has so fhr failed to find any evidence of his identity. He was sitting on the rail apparently m* conscious when the engine struck him. -JBoys living in the north part of the cityi says the Quincy Herald, indulge to the practice of making fires en the oosn- mons. On -several occasions those living in the vicinity have been compelled to gat up during the night to put out the fire* to prevent the destruction of their housss ani barns. They now propose to piceeeute any one who starts a fire, and if. the boys oan be caught they ought to be severely pon- ished. --Over 3,000 people attended the tUn­ healing eamp-meeting at Boiling Springy near Decatur. Mrs. Marie Woodworth is in charge, assisted by three singing end praying young women and Mr. Mader- wood. A German woman who has keen blind fifteen years claims that she can distinguish objects. She ascribes her to the faith-healers. Another woman af­ flicted with consumption declared that she was also made sound. A man who has been walking on crutches several years, be­ ing afflicted with rheumatism, threw the props away and said the disease had left him. --A most remarkable recovery from supposed fatal in jury has just oeeutied Tolono. Frank McCann, an eight-year- old boy, was accidentally struck on the forehead with a ball bat August 19. Hl« skull was fractured just below the hair line and a considerable quantity ef the brain escaped through the opening. Lead­ ing physicians of the county pronounead the injury almost necessarily fatal. They desired to perform an operation on the boy's head, but his parents objected. The little fellow rallied, however, within a day or two, and is now to all appearances fully recovered. --The State House Commissioners tered suit in the Sangamon County Cow recently against David T. Littler for $2,500 damages resulting from his efforts to pre­ vent the Commission from ordering, as it intended, statues of prominent men to adorn the inner part of the State House. The Commission claims that the State was damaged to this amount by the stopping of the work and the delay in, Us completion. Littler, on hearing of the filing of the suit, grimly remarked that he thought he could stand it. Littler, by way of retaliation, filed papers which take the original case to the Supreme Court In the meantime the contractors expect to have the statues in place in October. Lit­ tler says the arrangement he entered to abandon further proceedings was with Attorney General Hunt and Commissioner Jayne, but they ssy that they were net parties to such an arrangement as Littler chins. --A distressing aoeident, resulting in ffclf death of two men and the sevetely if no! fatally wounding of three more, oecuned at Soring Garden near Mount Ysntm, re­ cently. Men were thrashing wheat for DRV Bernard, and die boiler buret, killfa* i. H. Mitchell instantly and wounding William Bumpus, who died shortly after. Thomas Bernard received a bad injvy in the left arm and was otherwise heniaedL but will likelv recover. Theodore Bum* pus was badly scalded in the fhae and body, but his injuries are not rnnsMaisi fatal. Thomas J. "Williams, who at one time represented Jefferson County in the lower branch of the State Legislature, "had his skull badly fractured, and there is tittle hope of his recovery. 11M two B«u»pus*s are btetheie, and live at Bumpus, a poetofflce in that county. Mitchell near Spring Garden and Williams lives hi Spring Garden, all in that coqpty. The cause of the accident is not known, is thought it was caused hi the valf "V-V; -I Si-Si •aM ift .'At*' '<>J 'M -- .. iKi