The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

AT THE GOLD Iff OATS. >t U&&T X.IMKXT. ?/ . Efc-'i; N editor rappod at the *oWen gate. Oil Chriactatl morn did he; A fringe ot liair hung rouud his pate. Where bair one® iist-d to be; But that 'was back in the day* gone l>y, Ere the quill had told its tale, The midnight lamp bad dimmed his eye, Or the sanctum w r o u g h t m m pale. \ Avoioe within spake loud and cl«a$, Amid a clinx of keys: »• ^ ; "What trembling mortal might be Mrt, Disturbing Peter's ease?" Site editor spake : "Ah, thou good saint*] I've left a world of care, . 5' Nor seventy years have found complaint Ziaid up against me there. *I*ve toiled from time of the tallow dip, On, on, as the years went round, Until I started upon this trip < ;; For the Heavenly regions bound." 8«int T eter peeped without the gvt4 :: And asked in whisper mild: , •What wert thou in the mortal stOW, Poor weary-laden child?* The editor told hie bnsinoss then, Of how he had placed his trust In genius and a willing pen, To find his pio was crust; „ «• » ,.©&Uow he had battled foe tpitll and Tight, *' T^»,flowery prose, to win, ; ,? •., j "While petty punsters labored light And gathered the shekels in. 80 quite disgusted he left below And steered for the Golden Gate: How here he was, and would like to know* Why he should tbusly wait. Good Peter tarried with careful peep At the old man worn and thin, "Till a cry of "copy" rang loud and deep, Then he dragged the editor inI * NOBODY AND ME." A ') : ; BY BURT ARNOLD. ED RUBE was a tramp printer. He had a red nose, but whether he acquired his nick­ name from the col­ or of his nasal or­ gan or the fiery hue of the auburn Spikes he wore for bur, none of his c o - w o r k e r s e v e r knew. He would disappear all at once without warn­ ing; then as suddenly appear, after tbree or four months' absence, as if there was nothing out of the ordinary in his peculiar behavior. He was a silent worker when he "held down" a case, and could "stick" faster and show a cleaner proof than any man in. any office wherein he worked. None of his acquaintances seemed to iBiow from whence he came any more than they could gness how long he was likely to stay in any one place. Every £tinting office knew of him, and recognized is ability as a first-class compositor; bnt beyond the fact that he answered to the sobriquet of "lied Rube," and was an un­ reliable drunkard, nothing was known of A v# true name or the status of society from .-ft which he emanated. He was always clothed in tagged garments that were * many sizes too huge for his lean body, * and as no one ever saw him wear a new suit it was surmised he had a chronic lean- ing toward hand-me-downs. Despite his ,-iv. led nose, which was as glossy as a street- stand apple, his face was comely. His pompadour bristles environed a' forehead that betokened an intellect of no mean order, while his drooping mustache and •dreamy eyes added to the general pic- turesqueness of his appearance. His hands, when clean, were as shapely as a lady's, and hinted that he migut have been cradled within the patrician circle of Qual- 4ty-corners. Bat everything was simply «urmise. He was "nobody," so he said himself, and in his maudlin colloquies with himself he would say, "I care for No­ body and Nobody cares for me. We're Ygreat chums, Nobody and me." One Christmas morning he crawled from tinder the lea side of a hay-stack, where he bad stowed himself in a drunken stupor •on the night previous, and gazed around him with bleary, blinking eyes, while he lr;®d to collect his scattered senses and recollect how he came to "put up" at Buch 4 he oontinued, as he shifted the two cents to a different hole in his coat. "Now your load is lighter, we will walk faster." In this manner be held a conversation with himself for half an hour, whistling merrily between times, as he pursued his way. "It appears to me, Nobody, that oar road is getting no shorter very fast. But cheer up, will reach there soon." As he rounded an angle and turned into Blow tout a Christmas feast. • queer boteL "I wonder where I am and -how I got here !" he ejaculated, as he drew his rags closer to his shivering form. "I wonder if to-day is to-morrow or yesterday! I feel ra ther peckish. If I haven't slept too long, <o-day should be Christmas. Merry Christmas, Nobody! Let's shake hands. | | That's right, Nobody; you havn't gone * * t>ack on your pard yet, have you? Now who's going to treat, you or me? And how much have we left to treat? Christ­ mas, too! We should treat each other roy­ ally to-day." He dived his purple hands deep intp the recess of his tatters and brought forth two cents and a printers' union card. "Rather a slim outlook for me, Nobody; there isn't even enough for you." And he made another fruitless search. "Nothing! Well, I'll stand treat to a frozen cocktail," he resumed, as he placed an icicle in his mouth. "Sizzled, did it, Nobody? Mine did, too. It isn't the sort of an eye-opener we like, ;eh? Whew! how the'cold bites. We'll tout a Christmas feather and try our luck. Perhaps something will turn up." Several geese feathers were frozen to the ice in the wagon ruts near the spot on which he stood, and he broke the flossy tip from the largest and held it between his thumb and fore-finger. "A merry Christmas and good hick with tt," he said to the feather: • •'Now, vagrant plume troin downy breMt, 'L ^ike us thou'rt doomed to roam, jJT.»»«t3*A straggler, poor, Without aneet • %/$'&,'• Or place to call thy home. ®o, wand'ring nt-mad, be thou kind,' | And guide UB on this dav ; flFor whither thou art blown by wind, .i; We'll thither make our way, Blow ye west or blow ye east, Blow to us a Christmas feast!" He leaned back and holding the tip *bove his lips blew it towards the sky. At first it floated upward in a direct line above him, as though anxious to get as far as ^possible from the tainted breath of its newly formed acquaintance, then changed its course and iiuttered toward a churcli- ••pire from whose belfry the tinkling chimes of St. Nicholas rang forth merrily on the frosty air. "Nobody, that's a poor place to hunt a Omstmas feast; but we'll try it. Perhaps "we may get a bite of evergreen with a few wholly berries for dessert. Cheer up and Jog along smart, for its very cold this 'morning, and we must step quickly to keep - warm. It's a shame, Nobody, that your 'tailor doesn't keep your coat in better re­ pair. Even your po< kets are moth-eaten. Bow does he exj-ect you Will ever have money to buy new clothes whm he lets the 'pockets of your old ones get so fall of holes that they won't hold money? You had better hand your £old to me and I'll be Jour bai.ker. I ll spend it for you before you have a chance to lee it. ion know 0ou can trtist me. Nobody? That's right," the plank road which led to the village cen­ ter, he met a little maid whose face was aglow from trying to carry a well-loaded basket that was tar too heavy for her child­ ish strength. On seeing Rubo she laid ber basket on the walk and sat down to rest herself. "A merry Christmas to you, my lass!* ex­ claimed Rube with a polite bow. "The Bame to yon, sir," responded the little girl, as she glanced in his face with an expression that reflected the mixture of intuitive faith anddread.inspired by his sa- late. "And whv do you breathe so short?" questioned Rube in a kind tone. "I wish I was a man!" impetuously ejac­ ulated the wee miss, and she knocked her tiny heels together as though out of pa­ tience because she was not a full-grown member of the other sex. "And why do you wish it?" he inquired, much amused at her annoyance. "My toes is cold, and it's too heavy," she snapped. Then 6he removed her mitten and dug out the snow from the gaping tips of a pair of 6hoes that were much too large for her. "The basket is rather heavy tor a little tot like you." "I ain't a 'tot.' Don't you call me names." "How far, my little lady, must you carry font load?" "To granny's, up yonder." "If you'll not mind me, because Fm tagged, I'll carry your basket for you and you, too." "And you won't let anything spill?" "O, no; just put your arm over my shoul­ der. That's it; now show me the way," he said, as he perched her on his arm and took the basket in his other hand. It was a curious sight. Red Rube and the prettv child. It suggested a strange com­ bination,or an Ino and a Bacchus, as it were, but a much battered Bacchus "I like you!" suddenly exclaimed his live parcel. "You're dirty, but you're kind. Where did you get that red nose? It don't look nice at all. I wouldn't have a nose like that!" "It cost me a great deal of money," said Rube. "Well, if you can buy one with money, ?ou better sell that and buy another. It ooks like a lobster claw. Granny's \ cot one for a funnel; a claw, I mean. What you crying for?" "It's the cold, my dear," replied Rube, in a voice that trembled slightly. For years he had stood the jeers and jibes of the printing fraternity as they jested about the "red-danger-light over his whisky tomb." He had stood them in silence like a stoic and cared nothing; but this sharp- tongued midget's words cut him to the quick, and for the first time in his recollec­ tion he felt sensitive about the color of his nose. "Do you hear that, Nobody?" he asked of his chum. "She's poking' fun at your smeller after all the trouble and pains you have had to get it painted. She says it don't look well. Ain't you ashamed of yourself, Nobody?" "Who are you talking to? "asked the mite, leaning down and looking into his face with an earnest glance. "With Nobody," he replied. "That ain't anybody, is it?" "Nobody is my chum." "Where is he?" "In my mind." "Oh! Say, I shouldn't think you would like to talk to anyone who can't talk bacK." "Nobody and me were never known to quarrel, my dear, for that very reason." "Why do you call me your dear?" queried the child, abruptly; tben, without waiting for an answer, she asked: "Did you buy your hair where you got your nose? Does the color come out when you wash 'em? My dress was red once, before granny washed it;" and she held up a well-patched skirt whose original bright color had faded beyond recognition. She's talking about your nose again, Nobody," muttered Rube, in a mournful tone. "Why don't you talk to me, instead of nobody? I wish I had two cents'" "What would you do with them?" "Buy sick Willie a monkey that will jump over a pole. See 'em in that win­ dow?" And she doubled her diminutive fist so that its index finger protruded through a hole in be.r mitten, then pointed in the display window of the village toy­ shop. "I've got two cents of Nobody's some­ where. I'm his banker, and I guess he won't mind our spending them," he said, as he placed her on her feet and produced the two pennies he had. "Now" run in there and get the monkey." < "I'd kiss you, if 'twasn't for your red nose; I'm afraid of that No, I guess I won't. Your face is dirty, too. You can wash it when you get to granny's." Then she shook her little head emphatic- tired. You must warm yourself. Be car­ ried me home, granny," she explained to the care-worn old lady who appeared in the doorway of the tumbledown cottage. "A merry Christmas to you, madam," said Rube. "Here ft a basket the little girl found too heavy for her, ao I car­ ried it." "Come in, air; come in," invited granny. "Take a seat by the fire. Bring him a chair, Bessie." Rube entered the house, uncovered his shook and placed the basket on the table; then sat on a low stool by the stove and spread his numbed hands before it The kettle began to sing and as the warmth of the fire penetrated his chilled body it made him so drowsy that he leaned against the chimney-piece and Blept while gran­ ny prepared breakfast. As he slept he dreamed, and, in his dreams he went back to his childhood days before he over tasted intoxicants; back to the days when bis an­ gel mother used to warn him of the evil of intemperance and tell him how it caused his father's death. The tears rolled down his cheeks as he slept. He traced the be­ ginning of his comradeship with Nobody up through his past until the present, and his tears were those of remorse for a mis­ spent life. Suddenly he was awakened by the touch of a damp cloth to his face, and on opening his eyes he discovered Bessie standing on tip-toe and trying to wash his nose. "What did you paint it with? It won't come off," she said. "I've got your hands washed clean and the most jot your face, and I'll kiss you for being good to me if I can ret your nose clean. What are you laughing at? Here's the towel. I do be­ lieve he's crying, granny." And as she spoke poor Rube buried his face in his wet' hands and gave vent to sobs that made his whole frame quiver with emotion. Then, with a sudden shake of his head and a dash of his hands, he stood straight and pressed his finger-tips to his eyes as if to shut out some disagreeable recollection. "Better sit down to breakfast now," said granny, taking no notice of his peculiar actions. He washed and dried himself and ran a comb through his bristles for the first time m ten days, after which he sat at the table. The breakfast was passed in compara­ tive silence on Rube's part; but the old lady asserted a woman's prerogative, her tongue, and chatted of bygone days, when she lived in affluence and plenty, before the time when her husband and only son drank themselves to death and drove the rest of the family to the obscure poverty that now surrounded them. She told how Bessie's mother died of starvation in a large city and left Bessie with no one but her old granny to care for her. Little did she know the struggle that was going on be­ tween Rube and Nobody while she talked, and she was completely astonished when he 6tood up at his seat with a suddenness that threatened entire demolition of the repast, and exclaimed: Granny, I've been a drunkard ever since I arrived at the age of manhood. I am dressed in rags; but I am not a bad man. I can earn enough to care for a small fam­ ily, and I have not a relative whom I care to know in the world. Let me be as a son to you and I'll never drink again." "And you'll be a papa to me and buy a new nose?" questioned Bessie, later in the day, after be had told the story of his life to -granny and his proposition was ac­ cepted. "Yes, little one." "Well. I'll kiss you now, then." And she did. That night, when Rnbe stood outside the house alone in the starlight, he held an im­ pressive cpnversation with Nobody. "Nobody, we've been fast comrades for many years and seen a world of trouble to­ gether. We've cheered each other through thick and thin; but we must part. We are not safe companions for each other.'; I He tat at the table. must choose someone who respects him­ self more than either of us have been wont to do, and form a new partnership. Al­ though you've been a convivial friend, I cannot feel sorry that we are to separate for good. Together we oause woe, each to the other. Good-by! good-by--forever! When you hear of me again the firm shall be Somebody and Rube--and,Rube will be somebody, too; but it can n&ver again be Nobody and Me. j O, God above, on bended knee I pray Thea aid me now; Lend me Thy help and give me strength That I may keep my vow. I will each day Thy guidance seek, While life burns in my lamp. And thank Thee for Thy inurcy to Nobody, Christmas tramp. He perched her on his arm. • ll'iSI ally from side to side, and disappeared within the shop. ' "Your nose again, Nobody. I'm really getting ashamed of you," he muttered, rue­ fully, while he caressed the cause of his chagrin. "I really am." "I got it! 1 got it!" exclaimed his tan- talizer, as she ran out the door working the jump-jack. "Willie will be so pleased. Poor fellow! I am forry for him! His feet are burned, and he can't walk." Rube took up his charges and walked along the road communing with Nobody. People had just begun to ap]>ear on the streets, probably going to market to buy I little things they had neglected to pur­ chase during the hurry as d bustle of the day previous. Many curious (.lances were directed at the ragged tramp and his fair burden; but he noticed none of tliem. He was hnving his first quarrel with Nobody. "Here's granny's. Whoa! you're going by the gate!" were the words, accompanied by a pinch of his ear, which disturbed the tenor of his mental quarrel. "Now, Bet me down and come in," she said, as she grasped his hand and led him within the gate, whither he mechanically followed like one in a dream. "You are cold and "Got Ter M&ey Kinder fcibely." "Well, Ezra, how do you do to-day? Are you making out well?" asked Judge Man­ damus of an aged darky on Christmas afternoon. "Fust-rate, Jedge, fust-rate," replied Ezra, as he smacked his chops ana ex­ posed the ivory trimmings of his roast tur­ key and plum pudding sepulchre. "I isn't dom' ez well ez I mout; but I'se done git- tin' on, gitlin' on. I kain't complain, I kain't." "What's amiss?" "Da ain't nuthin' much, only I'se 'feard I won't git cl'ar round. Yo' see I'se makin' Christmas calls an' ebbery w'ere I gits, da done gib me de tarky bon's tor pick. I'se bin ter Massa Bicknel's, Kunnel Moabson's, Missy Lafum's, Major Kidd's, Doctr Probe's, Missis Chawder's, an' Jedge, I 'clar' ter gudeness! I'se so full I blieb I'se gwineter bu'st. I se got nine mo' calls ter make, an' I'se powful 'feard dat I kaint git round. Das jess whuts ailing me, Jedge. It's de trufe. I kaint stop yere triflin'. I ain't got time, Jedge. I'se got ter mosey kinder libely, I has." He Was Always Short. « 'Mr. Weeman, how tall are you?" asked the valiant Colonel Topper, who was of the commanding height of six-feet-three himself. "Five foot and one inch," replied Wee- man, looking upward at the Colonel's face. "I'm sorry." "What for?" "Why, your height will keep you from a chance to compete in the Chnstmas prize drill. We have decided not to a low any man to enter for the prize unless he is over five feet and six inches tall." "Humph! That don't worry me any. In fact, I'm glad of it." "Why so?" "It costs twenty»five dollars entrance money and a man like me who it always short can't afford it." JAPAN. ProgreM of the Land of the Mikado In the Fast Twenty Tears. In 1890 Japan ia to witness the estab­ lishment of a constitutional govern­ ment, with a popularly elected Parlia­ ment, responsible ministers, and the Emperor no more absolute than ia Queen Victoria. Such a revolution in a country that has for oenturies been the 6eat of absolutism, and brought about with no bloodshed or disturbance, is one of the wonders of the times. It seems hardly possible to believe that such can be the case, and yet we are told that the preparations are all afoot so that the change will come about with hardly a ripple in the internal affairs of the Empire. Local elections for smal­ ler offices are already established, and by the machinery of the press and pub­ lic discussion the way is being paved. In the beginning it ia established that each voter shall write for himself his own vote, which can be a part of the Japanese system, even though it could harffly be employed in a country of the boasted intelligence of ours. To us the progress of Japan in the past twenty years is hardly intelligible. In that year the Tycoon, who had for centuries divided the executive power with the Mikado, was overthrown, and the ancient central government was es­ tablished in full power. The impetus was felt immediately. Schools, univer­ sities, printing presses, roads and all the developments of modern civilization were welcomed, and instructors iu all branches were eagerly sought. Japan became a vast mission field, not only for religious, but scientific and indus­ trial missionaries. The Empire teemed with intellectual and physical vigor, and the Japanese, with wonderful speed adopted the manners of foreign­ ers. The Chinese tried to shut them out; the Japanese invited them in. This was no sudden move. It had been preparing for a century, bnt it came to a crisis in 1868, ana as long ago as that the Mikado, as one con­ dition of being made the real head of the state, agreed solemnly to call a constituent convention. The tinve was hardly ripe for it, however, and on .one pretext and another it has been delayed. In 1874, however, the nobility was re­ constructed so as to include the ablest men in the Empire, and it will form the upper chamber. The following year a solemn decree was issued, to the effect that in 1890 the long promised constitutional government would be put in motion, and ever since eaoh step has been taken with that end in view. To attempt to defeat it now would be to provoke revolution, and to the credit of the Mikado and his ministers, it should be said that they are aiding in bringing it about. On just what model the new form will be cast is not deter­ mined, but it will not be modeled after either the German or English system, the chief difference being in the re- sponsibility of the Ministry, either to the sovereign, as in Germany, or to the Parliament, after the English fashion. In either case the Parliament will have control of the finances, and with the feeling existing in Japan, the govern­ ment must depend on popular support for existence. Such a termination as this promises to be of the civilization of a nation is a step m the world's history, and its con­ summation will be watched as one of the marvels of the century. It is but 35 years ago that Commo* dore Perry first visited Japan, up to that time for two centuries hermetically sealed against Europeans, save the Dutch traders, who were allowed a few places for exchange along the coast. It is less than 30 years since our first em­ bassador managed to reach the ancient capital of Yeddo ^ conclude a treaty. The year before our civil war began a Japanese embassy visited this country, but the home feeling against "the bar­ barians" was so strong that in 1863 the government attempted to drive all Eu­ ropeans from the country, and was only prevented by the hostile attacks of the men-of-war of this country, England, France and the Netherlands, and it was not until 1867, after a severe internec­ ine contest that the progressive party S^7h^.thiefrL"of'Saaw«lIll0 >*« fact. and y„„ go £ W through the treatment. You rise at 6 in the morning, and takes a drink of undertake to have A fight, the secretary bird steps between them and gives one or both a drubbing. Sometimes even it teaches a particular pugnacious roos­ ter a severe lesson by eating him up. --John E. Coryell, in Golden Days. Pleasures of the Chase. _ Hunting is one o! the oldest occupa­ tions to which man is addicted. When man lived in cavas, hundreds of thou­ sands of years ago, so geologists say, he supported himself by hunting wild an­ imals. At that time the breech-loading shotgun had not been invented, so the cave man used a bow and arrow and a flint hatchet. Now the hunter uses his little hatchet after he returns from the chase. Then it is that the modern hunter draws his long bow. Modern man has inherited this hunt­ ing instinct, which crops out in the boy who picks up a stone as soon as he sees a frog or a bird. Possibly this inher­ ited instinct may account for the zeal of the oflice-hunter. - In the country the first thing a boy wants is a gun. He worries his father, and asks him continually if he can't spare money to buy a gun. If the parent can afford to spare a boy, the best wav is to get the boy a gun. The parent will be apt to do without the boy permanently. ^ * A loaded shotgun at this season of the year with*a boy at the breech is calculated to make everybody in the neighborhood as nervous as a coming wedding, or a haunted churchyard does. This fact mitigates the affliction when the boy is injured more or less fatally, for while a careless boy can shoot a gun, it is also a solemn fact that a gun can shoot a careless boy. The frequency of accidents detracts much from the pleasure one might otherwise have. These accidents arfe not unfrequentlv occasioned by the fre­ quency with which the hunter winds his horn. Properly speaking, the hunter does not wind his horn at all. He merely unwinds the top of it Last year a New York Nimrod shot a crow on a limb over in New Jersey, and hit a woman on the ground. Two of the woman's limbs were injured by the shot, and the New Yorker, who should have had a higher aim in life, had to pay $700 damages. Not unfrequently does it happen that the amateur hunter fatally wounds his own imported dog by mistake, and is chased back to town by a sunburnt granger with a pitchfork, whose cow has also acquired some of the shot. The habit of blowing into an un­ loaded gun is still kept up. Almost every day during the hunting season we read of the fool and his gun being soon parted by his blowing into the muzzle of the latter to see if it is loaded. When the hunting season fairly opens, the doctor's wife has no trouble getting trusted at the corner grocery. The grocers never refuse credit to a man who has prospeots ahead. As a liar, the huntsman has no oc­ casion to ask any odds of the most ex­ perienced fisherman. Truth crushed to earth, even by an amateur hunter, will never amount to muoh afterward. --Texas Siftings. Life at Homburg. Life at Homburg is peculiar. First, there is a conspiracy among the inhab­ itants to keep people there when onae they get to the place. Every man you meet looks at you with tender solici­ tude and says: "It's a good thing you have come before it's too late. You should see the doctor at once, and he can doubtless do something for you, but don't dely an hour, for in your condi­ tion every minute is precious. The tradesmen, the hotel men, even your waiter, all join in the conspirators' chorus, till you really believe you must be sick, but you become confident of the fact after giving yourself into the doctor's hands. He looks at your tongue the whites of your eyes, feels your pulse, and deolares, with a grave shake of the head, that you have come to hid not a moment too soon to be saved frota the dreadful fate that awaited yoti. Well, to make a long story short, yQu are bound to be sick with so many peo­ ple proclaiming the Beyond His Comprehension. "Merry Christmas to you, Podsheimer!" exclaimed Da lywag, as they met. "Yah; der same in it yoursel." "Well, what did you And in your stock' ing this morning?" "Py shimmmy! How you vas know dot? Tonder, I go me riehdt ervav home gweek und got Ktttrina do dook dot hole der sdocking oudt. 1 tond Bee 'how you vas know pond dot hole." A TELEPHONE company charges twenty cents for five minutes' conver­ sation with East St. Louis. For women the charge is one dollar and a half, as it costs more to untie the knots in the wire after they have finished talking.--St. Louis Magazine. Feathered Fighters. The biggest boys are not always the best fighters. And so it is with birds. The tiniest of all birds, our own beau­ tiful little hummingbird, is as doughty a warrior as any in the whole feathered family, and has more than once been known to engage in single combat with the eagle. It is very much such a fight as a hornet makes with a boy. If the boy could get the hornet to remain still long enough he could kill it. So the eagle could make short work of the hummingbird if the little creature would only be a little less quick; but it will not, and consequently the eagle follows the example of the boy, and runs. The hummingbird, however, does not fight for the mere sake of fighting. The kingbird does. It is not muoh larger than the. English sparrow, but it is very swift in flight, and seems to have perfect control of its movements in the air. Big birds, like eagles, hawks, and crows have no chance at all in an encounter with a kingbird, and the little fellow knows that fact so well that he frequently goes out of his way to torment one of them. Even the kingbird, however, must make way for the purple martin, which for courage and swiftness has no super­ ior among bird-*. In its strongest figlit the eagle can find no escape from the purple martin, which plays(about the big birds with e& much seemihg ease as if it were motionless. Fortunately, the purple martin is not such a bully as the kingbird, or the feathered world would be less peaceful than it is. ^ One of the oddest among the fighting birds is a South American bird called the chauna, a shy, peace-loving creat­ ure, with such a modest appearance that a stranger would never suspect it of being such a good and ready fighter, t himself the fatigue of descending eaoh Besides a sharp beak, it has spurs, not, tree and ascending the next in succes- onlv on its legs but on its wings as well, | eion he passes from one to another by and it makes such good use of all its means of two ropes, on one of whion weapons that no bird smaller than an . his bare feet rest, while with his hands and takes the waters and walk for fifteen min­ utes, then drink another glass and walk for half an hour, then drink another glass and walk an hour, then breakfast, and there is a strong suspicion at that meal that you are indulging in stuff left over from the dinner of the preceding day. At 11 o'clock you take a pine bath, which is prepared by stirring in a bottle of black molasses-like extracts of pine cones, which make the #ater look like ink. They say it makes one feel like a Scandinavian pirate and smell like a--like a--well, never mind what, but as I never knew just how a Scandinavian pirate felt I can't tell if the whole description is true or not. About 3 o'clock everybody meets on the lawn tennis grounds. It is the great drawing-room of the place. Here the princes, dukes, ambassadors and other high nobs are to be seen, but I noticed that the Americans were as good as anybody. Their title of American is equal to a patent of nobility. It was on the tennis grounds that Mr. Blaine was introduced to the Prince of Wales. Of course no one asks for an .introduc­ tion to royalty, but royalty intimates that it would meet with such and such a person, who is forthwith sought out and presented.--Chauncy M. Depew. Toddy and Toddy-Drawers. The drink called "toddy" is the juice extracted from the cocoanut palm, and is collected.in oarthenware pots called "chatties, "^nto which the sap runs dur­ ing the night from an' incision made in the spathe. In the morning the "tod- dy-drawer," connecting his two feet by a piece of rope, swarms up tha smooth trunk of a tree with which he intends commencing operations, and, having reached the lofty summit, he empties the contents of the chatty into a vessel attached to his waist In order to save eagle has any chance against it All through South America this bird has been domesticated, and is kept with chickens to protect them from hawks; and it does its work well. he holds on to the other. These rope, in course of time, be­ come untrustworthy from exposure to weather and have to be occassionally , changed. But too often the unfortu- ^ Another odd fighter is the secretary nate rope-walker, grown careless by bird of Africa, which looks like a crane lonor immunity from accident, neglects with a vulturo's head. It never seeks a row with anything but a snake. That reptile, however, it can never see with­ out attacking it; and its skill is such that it always ootnes off victor, no mat­ ter how large or how poisonous the snake. Like the chauna, it makes a good poultry-yard police, and has been im­ ported from Africa to the West Indies to serve that purpose. Its chief use is to keep away snakes and rats, but it also drives off all other depredators. Moreover, it keeps the peace in the yard. long immunity from accident, neglects to renew his perilouw bridge and the snapping of either tope causes his death. Were the lower rope to break th,ere might be still hope of clinging to the other and so working his way along; but, should the upper one break, ob­ viously there is little chance of his sav­ ing himself, even though the other re­ mained sound. From this comes the Eroverb: "If the supporting-rope reaks one's mainstay ia* gone."--All the Year Bound. SUGAR is put into eement to increase If a pair of ambitious roosters t its strength. Farts About Eels. Ever since the time of the cruel Bqpian Emperor who fatted the eels in his tanks upon the bodies of his slaves, some people have had a prejudioe against those fish, calling them snakes in disguise. But eels are true fish and breathe by gills; but the openings leading to the gills are very different in different species, and would take too much space to describe here. They have scales, too; but these are very minute, and only discoverable when the skin is dried. Excellent and nutritious when they have clean food, it must be confessed that eels are unclean feeders, if they have the chance, and those caught about city wharves are the worst Pliny gives most curious details in regard to the artificial ponds in which the ancient Romans kept the lamprey eels of which they were so fond. Lucullus had a pond containing so many that at his "death the fish thev contained sold i&t what would be equivalent to $200,000 of our money. Favorite lampreys were kept as pets, coming at call to be fed, and adorned with jeweled rings. In the Middle Ages and afterward these eels were kept in ponds and tanks by the monks and nobles, and used at great feasts, ouriously stewed with all sorts of condiments. Henry I., of England, died of a surfeit of eels, the meat being very rich and difficult of digestion for many people. Of all the eels, the sea conger is the largest and most formidable, except, perhaps, the great sea eel of the East Indies. Our conger is often five or six feet long and as thick as a man's leg. Such an eel as that creates a great commotion when hauled into a fishing skiff where there is not much room. Eels command a high price in most markets, and, consequently, are caught by a variety of methoda Bobbing is done at night, when eels are most active, and is effected by stringing worms, by means of a needle and thread, so as to make great loops or bunches, at the end of a pole or line. The eels attack the worms, and their teeth becoming entangled in the thread, they are jerked into a boat before they they can get away. Eel pots are used extensively. Usually a barrel is taken, baited with fish heads or other offal, and sunk by a weight of stones. In the head is a hole and a cone of osiers, or even a yarn stocking with the foot cut off and nailed to the entrance by the upper part. The greedy eel goes in and then cannot get out Hundreds are often caught in one pot in a single night. Eels are speared, especially on the mud flats of the New Jersey and Lcmg Island coasts, by day and by night. In the autumn, when the eels go into the mud, the fisherman wades along at low tide and when ho sees a little breathing hole in the mud thrusts down his many-tined spear and generally draws forth his wriggling prey. In summer they go over the same flats at night, with a torch over the bow of a skiff, and spear the eels on the bottom. These seem to be at­ tracted and confused by the light •Golden Days. lloitie of Dutch Cheeses. The streets leading to the market places are crowded with a collection ojf very curious vehicles. These are the carts which have brought in from the farms for miles around the produce ctf their respective dairies. They vary widely in color and shape, and present ample materials for study to any wh6 are interested in knowing how many forms an ordinary four-wheeled vehicle can be made to assume. The cheeses are carried from the wagons to that part of the place assigned to the owner, and are there piled up and are covered over with cloths. When a sale has been effected, the services of the por­ ters are called in. They work ia couples, and by means of a strong pair of braces arranged upon the shoulders, and with long loopB, they carry a kind of hand barrow or stretcher slung be­ tween; and, with a curious, shuffling, gait, they cause this to glide along six inches above the ground. The bargain having been entered at the weigh house, two of these men go to the cheeses sold, proceed to pile .them up Upon their barrow, and carry them ofl to be weighed. This weighing is a fascinating part of the work to the stronger, the more so if he is at all fa­ miliar with the modern methods of weighing goods. As far as appears to the eye the process now resembles in all particulars that which obtained when weighing first began in the new house at the close of the sixteenth cen­ tury. There may be such things as steel-yards and modern appliances for ascertaining rapidly the weight of goods, but the Alkmaar public has not yet looked favorably upon them. In the weigh house the ground floor is open on three sides, admitting freely all who wish to enter. Tha stranger pees there four very large pairs of old- fashioned scales, and he soon notices that the porters, who are all dressed in white, wear different colored hats--red, yellow, etc.--corresponding to the color of the scales. Each company of porters keep to their own pair of scales. The barrow with the load of cheese is placed upon the scale, and then with a resounding noise, a burly attendant piles up half hundred weights and smaller pieces of iron until the requisite balance is made. He then writes down the weight moves all the weights off the scale to a stand built near, and the porters shuffle off with their load to the canal boat or vehicle provided by the buyer, and that load of cheese bids a long farewell to Alkmaar. (Small fees have to be paid to both por­ ters and weigher. Here, as in so many spots on the earth's surface, vested in­ terest has some influence, in all prob­ ability, in staying the progress oi„ re­ form.--Leisure Hour. Savagery of Boyhood. Those persons who are not in a posi­ tion to come in contact with the chil­ dren of to-day need only to recall to memory the scenes of their childhood in order to find repeated episodes in which a suffering kitten or puppy was the central and unpitied figure. The callousness of the children of one's own circle will be made evident after a few minutes spent in such clarifying (though, to sensitive people, rather annoying) introspection, and what is true of one circle in this regard is ap­ proximately true of all. My own con­ viction is that healthy boys under 15 eel very little compassion for any sulfering but that of their near rela­ tives, their elose friends, and occa­ sionally their pet animals. Not only do they evince little compassion, but they often show more than an entire apathy, even an actual pleasure, at the sight of pain inflicted upon animals, and some, with whom we need not now concern ourselves, take a delight tHat to grown people seems'almost fiendish in tor­ menting their weaker play-fellowa,-- Popular Science Monthly. PITH 1KB POUTT. TRADE in stock generally wea I one's stook in trade. IF told to take a "back seat" one will invariably take affront ^ J Ix would seem natural for a OIRPEN*- ^ ter to walk with a lumbering gait. SCIENTISTS say that the potato rol comes once in ten years--every decayed as it were. THE most unkindest cut of all ia iM. ' be found in the average $8 suit of olothes.--Puck. : _ y IT is better to put your money into th# t r u s t t h a n t o p u t y o u r t r u s t i n y o n f ? - 1 money.--Philadelphia CaU. THE entire assets of a recent bank* I rupt were nine children. The creditor* * acted magnanimously, and let him keen them.--Texas Siftings. . WHEN the world was new there wall naturally an abundance of original . 5 Now wickedness of any kind is a chest* nut--New Orleans Picayune. , THERE is no record of the Good Sa> maritan distributing tracts. He mad# tracks, but they were in the* directio® of the unfortunate.--Texas Siftings. PRESENCE of mind is well enough i® 1 some cases, but when a man finds him» 3 self in danger of freezing to death, h« | shouldn't try to keep too coot--Epoch,^ THE dead elephant Alice was dis­ sected at Hartford and 300 pennies found in her stomach. It is believed she had started a monument fund.-- Omaha Bee. OLD Lady (on her way to church)-- Don't you know, little boys, that it'i H wicked to play ball on Sunday? Lit* tie Boy--We ain't play in'; we're only Sracticin' for ter morrow's gama-- Tew York Sun. SOME young men in San Antonio^. Texas, have formed an Anti-Treatingp Association. We do not suppose thai will disqualify them from holding mem­ bership in the Never Refuse a Drink Society.--Siftings. IN most of the booming towns in . New Jersey nowadays they will put your house up for you while you wait* and if you paste two or three thick-, nesses of paper over it it is really QUIT# a coherent structure.--Puck. A "CANE BUSH" STUDENT. We packed a big trunk with his togs and hli books, >a| And we went with him down to the train: ii| There was Latin and Greek in his D xTr-wisa . looks, * :;? And our pride was as gnat as our pain. The swift train snatched him away from oitt ^ Bighs. But we knew he'd come back by and by With scholarship, honor, and medal ana Jvize, . For hope and ambition were high. They brought him back home, a veek and a day-- . ; • And the doctor who brought him said, "Hash I* J For the side of hia head had been rastled away, Hi» eyes they were blacked, and his nose went ( astray, Two riba were stove in, did the doctor man say, And his legs they were bent in a corkacrowisb way. "Collision!* we shrieked; but he shook hea<^ "Nay;" . And smiled oa he whispered, "Cane rash." --Bob Burdette. Ji| Two ACTORS talking of a well-known writer. First Actor--I cannot say that he is a great writer, but the fact that I am deeply indebted to him will ever shield him against even my gen-, tlest criticism. He has been a dear and ' generous friend to me. Second Ao» % tor--I did not know that you were so 4 warmly attached to each'other or I would not have criticised him. Yon must forgive me. First Actor- (with; magnanimity)--I freely pardon you, : but mind you, do not in my presence speak ill of him again. Second Actor --I will not, but tell me the cause of your high esteem for him and in what, way he has been so good a friend to you? First Actor--Why, HE. wrote a play some time ago and has not asked me to read it--Arkansaw Traveler. 1 A FEW days ago at a regular Wednes* 1 day evening prayer-meeting of one ol i the churches of Bismarck, Dak., the pastor, the Bev. Fairchild. came into the chapel and found .only about A dozen ladies present He looked around a moment and said: "Sister. We ther ill, can you tell me the cause of this remark- i able absence of the gentlemen who have been in the habit of attend- ' ing our regular meetings?" "Why,, hadn't you heard about it?" replied theiV J lady addressed. "The Spotted-Front | grocery advertises to give away fret | samples of a new brand of chewing to- ; bacco this evening, and the gentlemen -I have all gone there." "Ha!" said the | worthy pastor as he removed his speo> JJ tacles and buttoned his coat, "I hadn'T1 noticed the announcement. Just ex< Cuse me a moment, ladies, please. I | must step down to the Spotted Front mvself. I haven't had a good chew of tobaoeo since I left Fargo!" and he shot out the side door.--Fred IZ, Car- 1 ruth. • 'H A Mystery of One of the Hotels. J The hotel hermit is a distinct crea* 1 tion. I have one in view now. He has | lived for sixteen years at one of the 1 most prominent of the Broadway ho- -i tels, and in that time it is doubtful il •% he has been away from the house more' than ten consecutive hours. He is a heavy-jawed, red-faced creature,-with < sluggish eyes, ponderous belly and lazy § movements. He rises at 10 o'clock, | spends half an hour over his boots, .I another half hour With the barker, and 1 then talks to the mail boys, telegraph J clerks, bar-tenders, and other employes of the house who will take the trouble | to listen to him. After this he poses | for half an hour on a particular flag- J stone, with his shoulders against a cer- J tain portion of the portico. If anybody j happens to be standing in that place he VJ waits patiently until he has a chance to take up his favorite positiofi. He hot | a particular chair by a certain window | in the dining-room, and here he break- | fasts for an hour or more. After that | he resumes liis position in front of the | house, or if it is raining takes up a cer- | tain fixed space on a particular bench in | the corridor. His life is the acme of monotony; he naturally has few friends^ • j for he never ventures out in the world, 9 and Ins life and talk are tiresome to I contemplate and hear. It is impossi* ;|1 ble even to get him to attend the thea- | ter. He undoubtedly does precisely ) as he wishes to do, and the whole world is willing that he should devote himself to his fascinating pursuit of ho­ tel immolation. --Mail and Express. Got the Symptoms. | FATHER, WHO HAS JUST RETURNED H^ME | --WHERE IS TOMMY ? HI! MOTHER--I DON'T KNO*R. HE IS ACTING | VERY STRANGE. * "HOW SO?" J "HE SAID HE WOULDN'T WIPE HIS FEEFC ON ANY SUCH CHRISTIAN AS YOU ARE." 1 "DID HE SAY THAT ?" • | "Yes, and he said if you give him ANY 1 sass he'd have your hide on the fence before you knew it" "Well, we must humor Tommy, and perhaps he will be a great boy." Preacher--He's got the symptoms, sure.--Texas Siftings. IF we did some little act of kindness every day what a beautifal reoord our years would present 1