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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 28 Mar 1888, p. 7

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:-i q n ASP MRS. BOWSEj, BY MB8. BOWSE!!. - 1 £• The other afternoon an expressman delivered at the house several strange packages, and when Mr. Bowser came %p in the evening he explained that they were fire escapes. ,<• "What for?" S "For the house, of course^" ;"But we don't need any fiie escapes on our honse. Mr. Bowser." "Don't we! Well, we shall have them jnst tho same. If you want to be ^burned I have no objection, but I pro- 11 pose to die some other way." "Yon never said there was any dan­ ger." ^ "Because I didn't want to make you 'nervousk Aa a matter of fact I haven't «felt safe any night for a year. * : "And now the danger will be obvi- * ated?" "It will be red need to the minimum, •certainly. Even if we wake up and find our bed-room on fire wo shall be / able to escape with only a scorch." > After supper he carried the parcels up-8taira. There were several bottles and a couple of wire racks, a hand fire " extinguisher, and a rope and pulley and other stuff. "Where would a fire be likely fo start in the house?" I asked Mr. Bow­ ser as be was fixing a hook in cas­ ing of the bed-room window. "Down-stairs, probably." "Well, we have a front and back stairs, and here are three chamber windows opening out on veranda roofs. Couldn't we escape by some of these ways?" "If I thought we could would I be fool enough to go and throw away $30 on this apparatus?" he angrily de­ manded. "I--I suppose you know best" "Mrs. Bowser, when I don't know best I will resign. While yon have never given the subject of fire escapes one single thought, I have devoted years of study to it. Take our wall­ eyed darling and go down-stair, and 'when I want you I will call." In about an hour he called. He was in great good-nature. He had the hook firmly in place, and hanging to it was a rope and some sort of harness. "It isnt much of an ornament to our bed-room," I ventured to observe. "What has ornaments got to do with fire-escapes? Isn't your life worth more to yon than the daily presence of a tea-store chromo 'i- escape is now ready." "For what?" "To escape by. of Course. Here is the situation: It is midnight. The cook, while rummaging about in search of her lost quid of gum, has dropped lighted matches under the front and back stairs. The flames have been smouldering for hours. ' They now break forth with sudden furv, cutting • off our escape from either stairs." "And we crawl out on the veranda roofs." "Do we? Not much! We start to do but we find that all the verandas . have fallen to the ground, the supports shaving been heaved out by the frost." ~7 "Well?" "Well, we. awake with tho crackle of flames in our ears. While you wring your hands and declare that we are lost, I ealmly secure all the money, " jewelry, and valuable papers and coolly make preparations to escape. I calmly put down the rope and harness, seat you and the baby therein, and the next 1 moment you are landed on the ground. I follow just as the engines arrive, and ' the papers of the next, morning chroni­ cle my wonderful self-possession in the - face of awful danger." "And don't they say anything about me V" "Not a word, or, if they do, it is to remark that you were in a dead faint, and your feet never looked so largo." "And can you go down by tbat rope -and harness?" "Can I ? Can you chop wood with an ax? What is it for except to go down on?" "I would almost as soon be burned up as to try it I don't believe you would dave go down on it." "Mrs. Bowser, what a wife believes and what a husband knows ure two dif­ ferent things. Is it likely I would pur­ chase this apparatus and put it up here if I didn't dare use it ? Shove up that window!" "But I wouldn't try it. You are rather clumsy, you know." "Another insult! Shove np that window!" I put up the sash and he seated him­ self in the harness, sat down on the sill ?and grasped the rope over his head, and with a look of disdain in his eyes he swung himself off! A wild howl rent the air, followed by the thud of something striking the earth, and, I looked out to see Mr. Bowser lying in a heap below the window. I ran down and out as soon as possible, and after seven or eight minutes he was able to limp in the housa with me. "Mr. Bowser, are you much hurt?" I asked. He glared at me but did not reply. "I am sorry you tried it," Some more glare. "I told you I thought it was danger­ ous." "Mrs. Bowser!" be huskily began as he lumped down on the sofa, "this is the beginning of the end!" "What do you mean?" "I mean you have made the last at­ tempt upon my life you'll ever have a chance to! You hounded me for weeks and weeks to get this fire-escape, and you meant my death bv a fall I" "Why, Mr. Bowser!" "Say no more! I saw it in you eye as you pushed me off the sill!' To­ morrow we separate." But when the morrow came he sneaked up and removed the apparatus and pitched it into the alley, and fire- escapes haven't been referred to since. --Detroit Free Pres#; > % •# il' : m I lags almost under her. I followed her example and leaned against the dingy adobe mass, while the long line filed their tea-crates past us, swaying their heads and long, matted manes from side to side, and grazing against us as they- went Each one eyed us with a malicious glance from their small evil- looking eye, which suggested a longing to Btrike out a furious blow from one of thosj powerful noiseless feet Bnt their glance* were met by looks of S3orn and defiance, on the part of Fatima, mingled perhaps with a little fear, for she evidently knew our danger. With her body flattened against the wall--and yet not pressing me harshly--she laid her small ears, which were never quiet, close back, and turned her head toward the camels. Her nostrils dilated and reddened, her lips parted and the fine squarely-set teeth showed between,while her enor­ mous vigilant eyes were fixed on the oamels, and flashed an "at your peril" look at each one as the interminable train slowly wended its uncouth way past us, leaving us bath quivering together as one poor aspen leaf in the autumn wind. » How They Hide Mouey. The peculiarities of the people Of different nationalities in their way of carrying money formed a topic of con­ versation at Castle Garden the other day. "Most of the English immigrants," said one of the money changers, "carry their coin in a small case in which their sovereigns or shillings fit snugly, and have the case attached to a chain which they keep in a pocket as they would a watch. An Irishman always has his little canvas bag in wiiich he keeps gold, silver, and notes all together. Bnt a great many of the Irish girls have their sovereigns rolled up and sewed on the inside of their dress, very fre­ quently too inside of their corsets, and often have to borrow my penknife to cut them ont when they come to. (rot-, them changed. Ife "I have »een some old Germans who would pull oft from around their body a belt that I am sure must have cost 40 or 50 marks, and fish from it three or four marks in silver to have changed. The French mostly carry a small tube in which they can place 40 or 50 20- franc pieces, and remove them very handily one at a time, and only one at a time. There are very few Italians who don't own a large tin tube, some­ times a foot long, which they have hung ai-ound their neck by a small chain or cord, and in which they keep their paper money or silver coins. Swedes and Norwegians are sure to have an immense pocketbook that has generally been used by their fathers and grandfathers before them, and which will have enough leather in it to make a pair of boots. The Slavonians or Hungarians generally do not carry pocketbooks, bnt they find more ways of concealing what money they may have than any class of people I know of. Their long boots seem to be the favor­ ite place, and in the legs of them they, also carry the knife and fork and spoon with which they have eaten on their way across. But I have seen them take money from between the lining and outside of their coats which they would get at by cutting into a buttonhole. Some of them use their caps and very many of them use their prayerbooks, placing the paper money on the inside of the cover and pasting the flyleaf of the book over it But I think more of that nationality stow away their change inside of their stockings than any other place, and don't take their stockings off from the time it is put there nntil they want to change it"--New York Commercial Advertiser. ; • r r v • V k • if r' ' • ' * •; •' • In the Streets or Pekin. Among otlier dread sights we passed and met long camel trains, heavily , laden, and winding their way through .. the dingy alleys, literally led by the I nose, one driver to every six or eight camels, fastened by rings or cords drawn through their noses. One does not like to think ill of camels--those patient, long-suffering beasts that look sO picturesque under the palm-trees in pictures of oriental landscape; but a near acquaintance with them is very disillusioning. They are both sly and , vicious, and become terrible when met in close quarters. We turned suddenly into a narrow sort of alley, repulsive be­ yond description, an l here Fatima drew back, sniffing prophetically. I urged her a little and she went forward, but presently I saw we had to meet a long f line of camels, heavily laden with crates ? of tea, each about the size and shape of the "pressed hay" packages so com­ mon in America. I could not imagine how we could pass them, and yet I feared to turn about, even had there been space enough, which was doubt­ ful. Fatima sprang close to the wall, drawkur her little hoofs and deader Yankee Doodle and U. S. We nse Uncle Sam as a facetious name for the United State; Mr. S. Grant Oliphant explains its origin thus: "Uncle Sam Wilson" was the govern- inspector of supplies at Troy in the war of 1812. Those edibles of which he approved were labelled U. S., then a new sign for United States; the work­ men supposed that these letters were the initials of "Uncle Sam," and the mistake became a joke and a lasting one. So "Brother-Jonathan" had a sim­ ple origin: Washiugtou thought very highly of the judgment of Jonathan Trumbull the elder, then Governor of Connecticut, and constantly remarked. "We must consult Brother Jonathan." The nams soon became regarded as a national sobriquet. Mr. Southwick, in "Quizzism," gives some curious'infor­ mation about the term Yankee; of course, we all know that it is the word English as pronounced by the American Indians, but we do not all know that "in a curious book on the Round Tow­ ers of Ireland" the origin of the term Yankee doodle was traced to the Per­ sian pbr.ise Yanki-dooniah, or inhabit­ ants of the new world. Layard, in his book on 'Nineveh and its Remains,' also mentions Yanghidunia as the Persian name of America." The song Yankee Doodle. Mr. Southwick tells^us, is as old as Cromwell's time; it was the pro­ tector himself who "stuck a feather in his hat" when going to Oxford; the bunch of ribbon which held the feather was a maccaroni. We know that mac- caroni was a cant term for a dandy, that feathers were worn in the hats of royal­ ists, and that Oxford was a town of the highest importance during the civil war. I do not quite see how round towers, the Persian langnage and Old Noll come to be so intimately con­ nected, even though, as Mr. Southwick tells, the song was at first known as Nankee Doodle. The Americans must not as some of her sons have done, imagine that the dollar mark $ stands U. 8., the S. being written upon the U. For both the dollar and the sign of it were in use long before there were any United States. Both Mr. Southwick find Mr. Oliphant gave the very prob­ able origin indicated by the design on the reverse of the Spanish dollar--the pillars of Hercules with a scroll round each pillar, the scrolls perhaps repre­ senting the serpents which Hercules strangled while yet he was a child in his cradle. There is also another theory that the dollar mark is a form of the figure K, because in old times the dol­ lar was a piece of eight reals. The ex­ pression "almighty dollar" was first used by Washington Irving in his sketch of a "Creole Tillage," 1837. Improperly Spiced. Edward Everett was once invited to make a formal presentation of a num­ ber of standard works to the Harvard College library. Somef of the books were plainly bound while others were more elaborately covered. "Gentlemen, these hooks that I have been delegated to present to you, some of them are indecent, some in rich bindings." ' As printers would say, he didn t "space" properly between his words, that's all.--Texan Siftinge. God has two dwellings -- one in Heaven, and the other in a meek and thankful heart--Isaak Walton. JkMONQ THE CIIAPBEIK j WANTED A CHANGE. j Little Harry, aged 5, whose yW had been trying to impress upon his mind the idea of an all-seeing God-- Mamma, does God see all I do ? Mamma--Why, yes, Harry. When you are good He sees it and is happy, ! and when you are naughty He sees it and it makes Him unhappy. j Harry, after careful thought-- Mamma, does he know everything you do '? Did He see you when you pun- 1 ished me yesterday? Mamma--Yes, He saw me, and he felt sorry little Harry was so naughty. You can't go out of doors or dp any­ thing in the house that He doesn't see and know. He wants you to be a good boy. % Harry, drawing a long breath---Well, I guess I'll go over to the D s' and stay. They don't have aa? God over there! A POETIC IDEA. J My little Walter, age 3, one evening not long ago. spent the evening at Jiisl uncle's. When we came home it was very dark and the wind blew quite ' hard. The next day his uncle came in and said, "How did yon get home last night, Walter?" "Oh, pretty well, only the wind ble^r all the star* out," said Walter. RKFKltRKD TO ST. ANTHONY. Little Frankie, aged 3. was told that God made him. He sa^l, "My clothes, 'too?". •/>:.;\ His mamma said, "No." V "Well," said 1** ••"ifiVfc Ofci ashamed?" ' • SHE CorLD NOT TRtTST HIM. I have a little daughter, Eva, 7 years old. I was telling her of a bank in the shape of a log cabii, with a negro standing at the door, that I thought of getting her to put her pennies in, and was explaining that when the white­ wash brush that hangs upon the side of the cabin is pulled down he kicks the penn^into his house. After a moment's reflection she said, "I'm afraid the nig­ ger would steal all the money." FOKGOT HE WAS EVER YorNG HIMSELF. My little 3-year-old boy, on being put to bed one night recently, was pre­ vented from going to sleep by the cry­ ing of his baby brother. After stand­ ing it for about half an hour he sjtid: "Oh dear! I'm tired of that music that baby makes." < HAD HEtt I'ICTrKE TAKEN. My little daughter goes to the Trinity Sunday-school and has been to several revival meetings. Last week she had her photograph taken, and after the operator had finished her grandmother asked her how she felt? She said she felt al>out as she thought they do when they go forward for pra/ers, they don't know whether it took good or nok - NOW, DON'T HAY WHITE HORiflS. ^ A cousin of mine when 3 years old was taught to say her prayers and on finishing to ask God to bless her and make her a good girl. So the next evening when she hai finished she said, "God bless me and make me a good girl and make my mother not whip ma" She also asked her mother one day if, when she was a baby, she was hung up in the store like the meat aud the blood ran to her head and made her hair red.--Boston Globe. I Dinner Table Art. Everything on a dinner table ought to be the best of its kind procurable-- linen, plate, glass, and all else. So much time has to be spent at table that coarse and untidy ornament ia bet­ ter than none. One gets very tired of sitting opposite a shabby flower, a bit ol velveteen, a crooked array of hetero­ geneous vases! Some modern tables, centered with a fine piece, of old marquetry of embroidery are very pleasing. Some people, in revolt against old-fashioned precision swathe all the lamps and dishes with art-silks --some cast meandering riuslin in more or less awkward twists in and out of the dessert dishes--some scatter dried leaves and red apples. These simple devises may be pretty, as a pot or a fabric may be picturesque however cheap. But it is not pretty because cheap, or dear, either, for the matter of that It is less the materials used than the way in which we use them which constitutes a success, and it is not everybody who can so drape a ta­ ble as to make it look "artistic," and not merelv untidy. It is a mistake to drive an idea to death, and I think the tide sets in the direction of untidiness just now. Cheap lace drapes the lamp, cheap silks everything else, false art squirms and attitudinises in the elec­ tro epergnes, even the silver is more massive than good, and a coarse table­ cloth often underlies fine Worcester plates. All this is as it should not be. Better a simple dish of apples than a pretentious epergne. When art is ad­ mitted it should be perfect of its kind, down to the table-cloth, and a definite scheme should be carried out Given a certain embroidery, the toys and or­ namental dishes should obey the lines of its design. Every detail demands a raison d'etre. The. blank Sahara of table'cloth offers a fair field to a good design, like a wall or a door; at an Episcopal palace recently I saw some very graceful ones. The table was dressed with small pieces of fern laid in elaborate pattern, and dotjted at in­ tervals with blossoms, every day a different color. This is not a new idea, and all depends on the neatness and precision of the arrangement; but the designs are so pretty, the curves so firm, and the crossings so exact, that a really artistic effect was invariably pro­ duced.--Magazine of Art Auditing Accounts. A traveling railroad agent who was telling a party of friends in Buffalo his experience with expense accounts said: "I remember one occasion when I had been sent out on a special mission in the interest of our road which necessi­ tated the buying of fluids and edibles in a liberal way. On my return I in­ timated to my superior officer that it was hardly the fair thing for me to personally stand the expense, to which proposition he readily agreed, and told me to make out a voucher and he would approve it So I retired to my desk and prepared the account with great care; so much for champagne, so much for cigars, so much for dinners, car­ riages, etc., in addition to my other personal expenses. When 1 laid the voncher on his desk he took it up and looked it over, and I wish you could have seen his face. It was a study, and I got nervous. 'Why, you blamed fool," said ho, 'do you think I'm an idiot? What do you suppose -the directors would say when they got hold of that account? Now you just make out a voucher in this way: To expenses at­ tending (mention the occasion) so much, and I'll audit it.' I followed his in­ structions and learned a lesson whioh has since proved profitable on many oc­ casions. "SMal Voices, Catarrh, aad False Teeth." A prominent English woman uti the Ajperican women all have high, shrill r«.«.i voioea aud fa se teoth. ' Americans don't like the constant twitting they get about thn nasal twang, and yet it i* a fact, caused by onr dry, stimulating atmos­ phere and the nniverial presence of catarrhal difficulties. * Bnt why should so many of onr women have faUe teeth? That is more of a poser to the English. It is quite impossible to account for it exoept on the theory of deranged stomach action. canse.1 by imprudence in eating and by want of regular exerciso. Borfi conditions ara unnatural Catarrhal troubles everywhere prevail and end in cough and consumption, which are promoted by mal-nutrition induced bv de­ ranged stomach aotion. The condition is a modem one, one unknown to onr ancestors who prevented the ca'arrh, cold, cough and consumption by abundant and regular use of what is now knowa as WarnerV Log Cabin Congh and Consumption Remedy and Log Cabin Sarsaparilla, two old-fashioned stand­ ard remedies handed down from our ances­ tors, and now exclusively put forth under the strongest guarantees of purity and efficacv by the world-famed makers of" Warner's "safe cure. These two remedies plentifully used as the spring and summer seasons advance give a positive assurance of freedom, both from catarrh and those dreadful and, if neglected, inevitable oonsequenoes, pneumonia, lung troubles and consumption, which so generally and fatally prevail among onr people. Comrade Eli Fisher, of Salem, Henry Coun­ ty, Iowa, served four years in tho late war, aud contracted a disease called consumption by tho doctors. He had frequeut hemorrhages. After using Warner's Ix>g Cabin Cough and Consumption reme ly, he savs, under date of Jan. 19th, 1888: "I do not bleed at the lungs any more, my cough does not bother me, and I do not have any more smothering spells." Warner's Log Cabia Rose Cream cured his wife of catarrh, aud she is "sound and weil." Of course we do not like to have our women called nose talkers and false-teeth owners, hat these conditions can be readily overcome in tho manner indicated. V f; THE re "?j . ^ • •tmry /•: CURIOUS AND REMARKABLE INVENTION) ch. Produces, "by Motion at one and tlie same Tim©, ELECTRICITY; MASSAGE, MANIPULATIONS AND MAGNETIC CURRENTS, For the Cure of Nervous, Chronic, Painful and Weakening Diseases ' jr.. Cutting Him Short. ' Ovei' in the village of Greenbush are two bright little fellows, brothers, aged respectively 6 and 10, whose father always says grace before meals. The other day the father was neces­ sarily absent from dinner, and the el­ der brother concluded to take upon himself the responsibility of blessing the food. The family 'bowed their heads and the boy proceeded, but in a atyle that seemed to promise no im­ mediate ending. The ti-year-old, how­ ever, was accustomed to short graces, and was withal quite hungry. After be thought the food bad been sufficiently blessed, he straigtened up, and, grasp­ ing his knife and fork in his hands, as­ tonished the rest of the diners by shouting "Amen," and proceeded un­ ceremoniously to make inroads into the dinner.--Albany Journal. You Can't M»ke s Samson Out of an attenuated dude, with meagre legs, pigeon chest, and a slight cough, but a man or woman to whom constitutional vigor has been denied can get It to a very considerable extent by the pemistent use, In regularly pro­ portioned, alternated doses, of America's chief tonic, Hostetter's Stomach Bitcers. To the nerves and muscles of the stomach that genial Jnffgorant imparts tone, and to its operations regularity The pr >\imute result is thorough digestion and com pi o to assimilation of the food, and the ultimate sequence, blood fertile with tbe elements of muscular tissue, a healthy appetite, nightly rest unimpaired, and a disap ­ pearance of the nervous symptoms to which etiolated invalids are always subject, and which they are very prono to take for the mani­ festations of serious organic dise&xe, and dose accordingly. In dineaso.s of the kidneys and bladder, always excessively weakening, and for constipation, fever and ague, and livor com­ plaint, use tho Hitters. Repentance without - amendment is like continual pumping in a ship with­ out stopping the leaks. READ T111S, NERVOUS SUFFERERS. Do Not Fall to Ifeed the Warning;.' Save you dyspepsia, indigestion, oonstipa- tion, kidney and liver disease ? Every hour yon neglect them may take years from your nfo. Have yon nervousness, weakness, nervous debility, sleeplessness, and exhaustion}1 Every 1 eat <>t' your iieart is but 'a funeral inarch toward your grave. Have you neuralgia, rheumatism, epilepsy, palpitation, the tobaccj or morphiue habit? Any one of these is liable at any moment to take your heart in its deadly grasp. Havo you headache, loss of memory, numb­ ness, trembling, pricKiy sensation, cold feet, or weariness of the limbs? The sword of Damo­ cles is suspended above you, for just so sure as you neglect these symptoms, just so snre will paralysis, insaniiy, prostration, or death follow. Have yourselves from these alarming results while tuere is yet time by the use of that most wonderful discovery for the nerves, Dr. Greene's Nervura Nerve Tonic, which is a per­ fect and complete cure for all the above dis- eaies. Pronounced the greatest medical dis­ covery of the century. It will take away* your nervousuess and make your nerves strong and steady. If you are weak, tired, and exhausted, it will make you strong and vigorous. It will cure your indigestion aud dyspepsia, give you an appe­ tite, regulate your bowels, kidneys, and liver. It will give you na ural and refreshing sleep, stop all palpitation of the lseart, trembling, numbness, headacha, and neuralgic pains. It is a perfect specific for nervom debility and exhausted nervou* vitality. It is the best ' spring tonic, invigorator, snd restorative in j existence, for it makes tbe weak strong, in­ vigorate* the tired and overworked brain, ' nerves tho weary limbs, and restores health, I strength, and vitality. | Do not fail to nse this wonderful remedy, and you are sure of a cure. For sale by all | druggists at 91 per bottle. If your druggist i does not have it he will get it for you. Insist i npon having Dr. Greene's Nervura Nerve : Tonic. Its discoverer, Dr. Greene, is the great specialist in nervous diseases, of 555 West 14th st, New York, who can be consulted free of charge, personally or by letter. LOOK YOUNG, prevent tendency to wrinkles or ageing of tha skin br using Lkaukkixe Oru Preserves a youthful, plump,fresh condition of thefeaturea A transparent alabaster skiu, 91. Druggist* or axp. E. R Weils, Jersey City, N.J. There are few diseases that this treatment fails to cure or permanently benefit. it- is considered unnecessary to give the lengthy list of diseases curable by it. Therefore, no matter what your disease or ailment may be, of how many other treatments have failed to cure you, you are not likely to be disappointed in this. Hie wide curative range of The Electro-Massage Instrument makes it the nearest approach to a panacea, or cure-all, that the medical or inventive world has yet discovered. Leading physicians the world over place the highest value on the different curative treatments produced A by it, every one of which, is serviceable in nearly every form of disease., . The Electro-Massage Instrument is easy and safe to self-apply at *eW ttMy for tiile, quiring no previous preparation or the use of acids or charging liquids of any kind. MANNER OF OPERATING.--Holding the handler of machine in either hand, the roller is kept in motion at the will of the patient, producing all the curative treatments enumerated, of mild, medium,, or strong power, according to the amount of motion or pressure used. The Electro-Massage Instrument is small in size and can be carried in overcoat pocket It is- 4* simple and durable in construction, never gets out of order, and can be used by different members of ) the family or different persons when desired. The Electro-Massage Instrument for treating disease by Electricity, Massage, etc:, tiste., easy control of the patient), is patented, and we alone can supply it. . - ."-"Is *' to-day for illustrated pamphlet, mailed free, containing full particulate. Address by letter or postal card, with name plainly zvritten, ' ELECTRO-MASSAGE COMPANY, F*. O. Box 3258, NEW VORJC '^1 -THIS A IyVK.R I I<V * T»PF A W q CAM v nwr<- TV -rtTTI r ipr-R Pm>"Y attributes the invention of eoap to the Gauls. If he attributed it to the Turks he would he regarded as an unrelia­ ble historian.--Puck. GREAT EXCITEMENT At the Valley City Mills, Which the t'ore- u<»n Explains an Follows. Deak Friend--Yours of the 2(5th instant was received, and I beg pardon for not an* swering it sooner. The fact is I am working day and night; have not been as well in fif­ teen years. That trouble with my stomach and the rheumatism which nearly killed me has been entirely cured by Hibbard's Rheu­ matic Syrup ana Plasters. Mother is now taking it, aud thinks there is no medicine in the world equal to it A W. Thompson, Valley City Mills, Orand Rapids, Mioh. DEE 29, 1887. A California paper heads selections from Joaquin Miller, "Walk in Wisdom." --Texas Siftings. Many People Refuse to Tnkt* Co<1 Liver Oil on account of its unpleasant taste. This difficulty has been overcome in iSeott'a Emulsion of Cod liver Oil with Hypophos- phites. It being as palatable as milk, aud the most v»luablo remedy known for the treat­ ment oi Consumptioa, Scrofula and Uron- ehiti*, General Debility, Wasting Diseases of Children, Chronic Coughs and Colds, hai caused physicians in all parte of the world to use it. 1'hysiciaua report our little patieuts take it with pleasure^ Try Moott's Emulsion and be convinced. Why is a baker kneads bread. like a beggar? He For strengthening and clearing the voioe, use **Hrow«i*s> Ilronohinl Troches." --"I have commended them to friends who were public speakers, and they have proved extremely serviceable."--Rev. Henry Hard lieethrr. X J)Hm Ton tweet Flower* sal Medicine:-- As the bee is the emblem of thrift industry, it is not likely to get iorfthe socialistic bonnet.--Puck. • "ROUOH ON ITCH" Ointment euros Skiri Hu­ mors, Pim ple«. Flesh Worms, H ng Worm, Tetter, Salt Rli 'Uin, Frosted Feat, Chilblains, Itch, Ivy Poison, Barber's Itch. Seald Herfl,Eczema 50a Druggists or mail. jls. Wells, Jersey City,N.J. It never reduces the size of a claim against the Government to file it. "ROUGH ON RATS," for rats, mice, bngs. 15a "Itouou on Catarrh." Only absolute cure- 50«x "Hough on c orns. " Hard or soft corns. 15a "Hough on Toothachb." Instant relief. 15a ConNiimption Surely Cured. To the Kditar: -Please inform your readers that 1 have a positive remedy for tbe above- named disease. Hv itn timely use thousands of hopeless cases have been permanently cured. I shall be glad to send two bottles of my remedy Kukk to any of your readers who have consump­ tion if tney will send me their Express and P. O. address. Kespectfullv, T. A. 8LOCUM. M. C.. 1S1 Pearl St.. N. Y. BOUGH ON PILES. Quiok, complete enra 50c. BUCHU-PAIBA, Great Kidney Remedy. IL WELLS' HEALTH HENEWElt for weak men. WELLS' HAIR BALSAM. If gray, gradually restores color; elegant tonic dressing. 50a Spring Medicine Nearly e vary bod v needs a reliable spring medicine to expel tbe Impurities which have accamulstad in the blood finrlnjr the winter, to keep up strength as tho warm weather comes on, create an appetite and promote health5' digestion. Hood's Baniaparilla Is the moet popular and successful Spring Medicine. Try ft this spring and you will be convinoed of its peculiar merit. "For five year* I was sick every spring, but last year took Hood's Barsaparilia and have not seen a siok day since." O. W. Sloan, Milton, Mass, Hood's SarsapariHa "For a flrst-class spring medicine my wife and I both think very highly of Hood's Sarsaparilla. We both took it last spring. It did us a great deal of good, and we felt better through the hot weather than ever be­ fore It cured my wife of sick headache, from which slip has suftrred a great deal, and relieved me of a dixry, tired t>elin£. I think every one ought to take something to purify the blood before the hot weather comes on. and we shall certainly take Hood's Sarsa­ parilla this spring." J. H. Peiroe, Supt Oranlfc Railway Co., Concord, N, H. 1 tfflVER T H O U S A N D 8 say that ELY'S CREAM BALM etired them of CATARRH. Ai ply Balm into each nostril. E1.Y BROS.. (iminwlcli 81. N. V. STEKETEE'S Witters! Make your own Bitters Why pays Dollar for a bottle of Ptoniach Bitters, Containing motv poor whiskey than medicine, when the undei-slgned will send you by mail one « oz. package of ROOTS. HERBS and BERRIES. whiOhwill make ONE CALLON of the best TONIC anyofiftever used. The use of this Tonic haa cured IlSiniMKSTION. DYSPEPSIA, FEVER and AGUE;,'as an appetizer none better: acts 011 the Kidneys and general debility, and gives Tone to the Stomach; In fact I challenge all other Tonica. It is far the cheapest Tonic known. One pack- mgr will equal one dozeu bottles of ordinury Bit­ ters sold at One Dollar per bottle. Full direct!- tions on every package. Ask your Drugtrist for STEKETEE'S DRY BITTER^. " If your drug­ gist does not keep them on sale, then send to the undersigned. 1 wili send one package to any ad­ dress within the U. S. on receipt of 35c. U. S. postage stamp#'€*ken in payment. Two pack­ ages SOc., and a trial bottle of STEKETEE'S KBURALQIA DROPS included. Address, GEO. G. STKKF.TEK, Orand Rapids, Mich. Use STEKETEE'S FIN WORM DESTROYER, sure cure. Price 20 cents. Silk and Satin Ribbons FREE V LADIES,ran U FOJK IOC1 1 gift for Sava much money and ercura (be beat: Kvery latly known and appreciates, lb© privilege of bar­ ing a lew remnants of ribbon, hamly tor tha theuMMid'amt one taatyAnd ut*vfu! for hich *nchffood« ore uatd, and wbit li tbev, tho litdffa, Dm1 io «<i> h adtan* tar*. To | »ir 'nit** whu itumtod at the usual |>r t t ea •uth (roudn ara •old for, would create n luiye bill of esptnM, and theretore ticbar* a gre» t main from iudulpiiifr their teates in this dlrtveioii Realiz­ ing that th fro wtfp thonsanda upon thuu-vuulft <>f remuHur* of rib* bona unionjp tha large importing bouae«"i A merit a which they would to witttaytodlapoaeofin hoik, foraamalt fi«< tinn ol thriimat, to any oaacapable of pnrchaalug largely. \rc instituted aaearch, reaulttag In our obtuiuing iha euiin; stock ot Silk mil tftUtlm Hi Mm 81 SCenutinls of sevrralof tlie lorp^: i-f tbaae hoaaaa, who imported ifao finest frocds. These g^odi* tuny be depended upoiuisauprriortn anything lo be found, ext opt hi the very beet Gtorea of America. Yet they are given awny fk*ee^y|iothii)g )ikc it ever ktiuMii. A (fraud benefit fur all the ladiea; unautifUl,elegant, choice pixwU absolutely Wo have es|»endod thousands of dollars in this direction,and can Mliran immensely, varied, and most complete us«oitineuf of rib­ bons, in every conceivable shu«le aud width,aud all ut'excelK-.it Quality, adapted for neck-wear, bourn* strings, bat trimuiinjr*, bows, s<-artK, dross trhiwniujr*, silk quilt work. err . etc Soma •t' these remnants rttif^s ibiVe ynitUauil upwards in length. Thouph remaanfs, >«ll the patterns are new HioUate atyles, uad flay be depended on as beautiful, rH'mM. fh^hionablo oud ele­ gant. HowtogftniM»x iMMitaiiiinKarompteie AMortmeut of (bete ciciran< pHu1b«»iis Free, Tbe Pr»ctleiil lloHafkeor<*r und LtulU's' V1! reside Ctomttaalon, puhiiskf. monthly by us, taac- knowledgad, by tboae competent to judge, to be the Wst |wri- Otitca) of lite kind in the world. Very large and iuuHisotnely II- lastrate<l; rafntatrptice 75 ct®. poryetir; tend S& cents ami wo Will send it to you for & trial year, ami will also send f ree a box of the rlbbona; 9 aubscriptiensaud ii boxes, fHS cts.;4: fohscriptioQS and 4 hose*, 1. Oue-ccnt poatapc •tnmps may be sent tor le#s than SI. Oct St AHeuda to jwln von thereby pet­ ting 4 subscripts.ma and 4 boxea for onlv f I; chii do it in a few •inutea.VI'he above ofler is basot! on this factthoac who read tbe periodical refeived to, for one year, wunt it thereafter, and My U9 the full price lor il: it is In after year*, and not now, fbat we make money. Wo make tliis great offer in order to •t oni'e secure 250,0iMJ new snbacrihem, who, not now, but next rear,and myeara thereafter, ahull reward us with n prrf.t.be- Wuse tbe majority of them will wish to renew th« >r• subwrfjh* tiona, and will do so. Tha tnom*y required is butapifiail fraction tf the price you wsuld have to pay at tiny store tor a muchZ jBialler assortment of fur inferior rlbbona. beat bargain known; you will not ftitly apprecliite it miti! after yi.n sfre Safe delivery guaranteed. Money refunded to any one not per­ fectly satisfied. Hotter cut this out, or scnUat once, tor prob* flfelr It won t anpaara«r*in. AddrvM, H. HALLETT fc Co . ».AXD, Maike. PENSIONS fT MENTION THIS PAPKK w»E» ««m«« to ixiinuu. WAIIMfi BflCM Learn Telegraphy here and we T UUHo IvICH) Will lioli> you to g-»od positions. Ad'trens Ara« riean school of Ti-lepraphv.Mm uson.w is MENTION THIS PAFEa '<u warns* *» GOf.I) in worth $">00 per pound, Pettifs Eye Sslvt fl.00.1. but in so hi st 25 cents a box by dealers. MENTION mis PAPKK «»*>• wnrciKM ' H FREE fliac CTIinV Bookkeepiuif. Unsinetw Fomi*. W Unit OI VIII • Peniuanahip,Arfthmeti(\Short~ » hand. etc.. thoroughly taught by mm/. Circular.-* -<i cMj p free. Bryant's Fir si neks Coli.F-OF.. lluffalo, N V • . ity return mail. Full l MoottywNewT»ilor8vKl«»Tu otDras* •Cutting. MOODY * OO., Cincinnati. O. MICTION THIS PAPER WW wmmmm ra »»TUMm . reliable, only 8 aad 3 its per Uric package. 2 0J€» ; T«lty Present* for my ens- sen. Mammoth Seed Farms': Beautiful Illustrated Uudes Itocfcgwd B«e* Fanp. III. v KI00HT8 S------MtatNstBwii.ims. Mk.vriON THIS PAfILM EXCCKSIONKat one fare for the ronnd trip wiif hf run from Ohio, Iixt.. Mirh.. 111., Iowa. Win . •5#' Neb., Dak. and Minn, to Central aad Southwestern f. €1 r Kansas on April :i and M, May 8 and 22. JTorinfor- mation, l«nd piper*, etc So. Clark St d piper*, etc., addresa M. SOLOMON. :.. Cliieasro, or J. I. WABKEB. Ottawa. 111. AGENTS WANTED •PA1TBBN8. FTRWKTAC •«« om» And HOC8KHOU) PHYSICIAN. The NXW 'Memorial" edition, by the greatest aathsr and ben­ efactor that ever lived. 86$ pages. I bub cue sales Big Terms t* Agent*. IMnos this papbs. r. B. D1CKKRSOK * CO.. Detroit, Mich. I C U R E F I T S Whfti I say cure I do not mean merely to stop t for a time and then havs them return again. I mea" rnlii al onre. I have asads the disease of FITS. 1J' l.£I'SV or FALLING SICKNESd • Ufs long study. warrant my remedy to cure the worst cane* »fori Bp oail others have fsiled is no nssoa for not now re<vi** .• cure. Send at onoofor atrsatlae snd a Free Bott e... ,«ay iufnllible remedy. Uive Express snd Post OiB < ll. t*. HOOT. M. Cm taSPWM-tat.. Newjtsr. ARRH, L L Mr« Mlj by fe* •lebrated Eye Watal P I S O S C U R E F 0 R C Q N S U M P T I era w. Lire at home aad make more money working fw $5 ^IFNTIf 1 to S8 a day. Mamples worth (1.50. FREK. . Lines not under the liorae's feet. Write _ 'Brewster Safety Reiu Holder Co., Holly, Mich Mention this paper *•». «•.!»»• n> .•>unu» Hood's Sarsaparilla Bold by all drumrists. Si; *i* for $5. rropared only by C. I. HOOD & CO . Ap jthei'aries Lowell, Mass. too Doses One Dollar Sold by all druggists. $1; six for $5. Prepared only by O. I. HOOD Si CO,, Apothecaries, Lowell, Msss. IOO Doses One Dollar Ths BEST and NEWEST Chrysanthemums, Geraniums and the most reliable FLOWER & VEGETABLE SEEDS. „ Carefully examine thi'< Special offer. 1 Ho?.. £•*»T XJ^or 1 !:oht el»e- where ill to I l)o/.. "f th»- »«•» t Hit l^ANTHh>IL.UH for SI. Will cost elsewhere •2 to'#!l. 1 it OT. newest (JKRANIUMS. uuveities of tbe season, for £1. of our tested FLOWEK and VEGET ABLE SKK!>*v «•" send one paper esnh of fancy Pansy. Phlox, Balsam. Petanla. Asters. Cockscomb, Poppies. Hollyhocks and 5 papers of assorted kinds for 50 ets. A complete set of Vegetable harden Seeds, 20 papers fur $1. >>oold seeds, but nil fresh and reliable. Our new Illnatrntcd f'ntnlonui- with full iiistructiQns how to grow Plants and Seeds mailed for* 2c. Stamp. B u?bik * "a d d reae!'m o n i ne 'tins paper, CRITCHELL & CO. Cincinnati, u! Tlie tuaii who lias invested from three to live dollars in it lCubhcr Coat, and ... , at his tlrst half hour's experience in a Btorm tlnds to his sorrow that it Is '• hardly a better protection than a mos­ quito netting, not only feels chagrined - st being so badly taken In, but also ! ;sT feels if he does not loot exactly lite ; a :£ Ask tor the * FISH Bit AND " Buckkk. does not hava tbe pish braito, sendfor v '-I**!1*!* MA We otter the man who wants service WET HEN man who wants service (not style) a garment that will keep him dry in the hardest storm. It is called TOWEK'S FISH BRAND " SLICKElt," a name familiar to every Cow-boy all over the land. With them the only perfect Wind and Waterproof Cost la " Tower's Fish Brand Slicker." and take no other. If yoor storekeeper descriptive catalogue. A-J. Towea, 30 Simmons St., Boston, Mass* "OUR DEPORTMENT." That grand book, over 470,000 copies sold and ths demand continues. LIBERAL TERMS to acents. F. B. DlCK£KSO\ *i CO., Detroit, Mteli. C I V E N A W A Y ! A pj'g Mixed I.ovror 8^ed« u»0i) k utU». _ with Pakk> I'lokal ^riDK. a j for 2 stamps. Evc»ry tlower-lover Tell all your friends. G W.Pa r k , b' un**tt-huiv. Pa. 4>ijf*firTul atoiico. Thii* uotife will iiot»ppt?ara:aui -- SEEDS i«|iali(«rUknaai»pi u Bra-, m will nil «Magkl*eoa< B. Ik r isssssias * Ost KwaPit I prsscrlbs aad MlrM*- dorae Big O aa tha only spacltc for ths cwrtain car* of this disease. O. H. INOBAHAM.lt. Amsterdam, N. T. Ws have sold Big 6 lor many years, and H hs* ||W*d ths best of satis* D. EL DYCHE A CO., Chicaco, llh IS1.M. Sold by UruggisH. The OLDEST MEDICINE in the WORLD is probably Dr. Isaac Thompson's KM III This article in a carefully prepared physician's pre acrit'tion. and has h;"f n iu constaut u«> for nearly a oentwrv. au<t uotwitiistainlim: the mau v other prepar­ ations that havo Iwt'U introdu.v t i>;t > tit-* market, tho ssle of this article is constant y iuc.*easins. li tile di- rections are tollowed it wiU never taiL We particn- lsrlv invite the attention of physiciui4 to it» nterils. ilsAn L. Thompson, Moms Jf Co.. TfiOY, N. Y. NORTHERN PACIFIC 11 LOW niCE RAILROM uns» FREE Government LANDS* rV^IIXIOXS or ion of each In Minaeeota. Kortk. Dakota. Montana, l<lnho, w»>hiiit(uii and Orm CCIiri CAD Publications with Map* rtescrtblnrta* ubnU iVn SKST A(trlen!ttir»;. lirocinsr and TtSH Mr Land* now oi*n to Settlers Sent Free. AcMre»» cms. §•LHK0R^L st! paul! BABY CARBIASES We make n specialty of n'snufao- turinfr Baby Carriage to aell dt* reet to pelt ate partin. You can therefore ilo better with us thnn with a dealer. Wesend «ar^ riatres to oil points withtn Itallss of Ohicaeo fW-e ofekiargre. basM K r lataluguc tree. CH«S. RAISED, C2&C1 U}tearaait4(Uaf^M. • whea writing, iceutio.; this paper." Drills FOR EVCRV PURPOSC SOLD ON TRIAL. Investment small, prof­ its 1 srge Send ~0c .for m a i l i n g lar^e Illus­ trated Cata­ logue tilth fall particulars. Manufsctnrad GOULDS & AUSTIN, 167 4 169 LAKE ST. GA.QO. IS,U;MOUI« •* Cures Neuralgia, Toothache, Headache, Catarrh, Croup. Sore Tlr--L . RHEUMATISM. Lane Back, StiB Joints, Sprains, Bnlin Burns, Wounds, Old Sores and All Aches and Pains. The many testimonials received bv as more than prove all ve claim for thiit valuable remedy. It net only relieves tha - most severe bat It Cures You. That's tho lita! Bold by DrujsslM®. 5Seta. Snv.: Bo.«ic m»ile<t fits. Address WIZARD WL CHSCA60. "«•.». U." , VITHKN WRITING TO ADVEKT1 I uleste MI yes «sw lbs I* tkiic lisiier, .:f.® Makts.f. . A.SLVJ: . <AhSS&

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