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WirK'lf k BO N n* around tbegroc jr ivd batons I inftorRotti n» lit.Uo -h t»HT, in Th« kit. .. to haiw umuurt au' atay; . Queii I'm Todltsli caiiso < cv'uta*,,:* Why-- uiy wife's u gu'u away • • flxln' things up for ma » a thougiitfnl loviu" car a. «jm|K ' "V» < ,, ( * •f * <*» 'INN MINI someriiiu'a here, i* comtithia' ol^u is over there; Xtootiu' nobc.i', i;pe*)iin' low voiced, Kgh sho hasn't much to eay; her eyes on i»c ail »'•- -- '*«»--1 Quess she hates to go awaj. Wish 'twas over--wish 'twas off-- • \ 1 WUb w» didn't 1AV» to put; - '.v * < That'* jfst what I keep a-thiakin*. An'a-foil: n in my liwu t. ftipi our RjHKsrits sm much tnrJimt • Tltaii the i>avtin' of l.o-day, An' lilt hint what they cnu:t tall Mb When a; ' L loved on#'* go'ii' away. Call* to mind another iournof, By nil' by "we all must gq, . ^RTonder who's a gettiu' r«a*ly For the train that moves so alowf Brings tho tuaf s to think about it, 80 I ^it nigh her ait' pray, {( may be my tiuio for atartin', Jilt when she's a go'n' away, SHARP DETECTIVE "Stlie Stacy of a Government Detective. .V, • 'vj f. '•< ' BT JAMBS BAGUKT. Ifftt"' ... -- Sf* One day last winter I was sitting in •tlie small waiting-room of the "West Shore ferry-house at New York, look­ ing through the dingy panes of glass at "the icy river in hopes that the boat would come some time. I was in a %TUTr to cross to the Jersey shore and was impatient at the delay. The fierry- master, a kindly old man with gray whiskers and a ruddy, smiling face, had "told me that the boat would leave at 8 -o'clock, and now, looking at my watch, t found that the hands marked quarter fist three. Would the boat ever come? had an engagement at Weeliawken at -4 o'clock, and did not want to miss it. I -saw the ice crush and crackle as the pieces were jammed against each other *>v the moving water, and the snow «lrip from the beams of the bridge and (DUO little rivulets in the furrows of tiie much-worn planks, but I saw no boat. Just as visions of the little steamer lying wedged in the iqe or 'sinking beneath the blow of some "heavier vessel rose before me, I saw the object of my anxiety poke her blunt 3ftt»e around the pier head and come throbbing into the slip. A deep voice t>ehind me exclaimed, "It's time." Another impatient traveler, I thought, •ad then something familiar in the "ICoice caused me to turn around. I was not mistaken. The owner of the voice was an old friend of mine--John Sulli- "wsn De Belle, United States Secret Service officer. I reached out my hand to him cordially--we had not met in •ever so long--and together we entereid the boat. In answer to my inquiries, he said he was crossing the river 031 "business." With natural curiosity I wanted to know what the "business" m "Business for the Government" (non- •OQKnmittal). , ' I am of a very romantic turn of mind 4tttd this reply somewhat piqued me. "I did not suppose it was for the good of your health," I retorted, with an at- •tempt to be sarcastic, which attempt was lost upon my companion, for he •«Bly laughed. "No," he said, "I get walking enough •without making footprints in the snows of Weehawken. Therefore you are "tight. It is not a walk for the good of Jny health." 'Tell me what it is, won't yon ?" (per­ suasively.) -It isn't anything in which ytm couH Jttssibly have an interest." ""Then you won't tell me?" ! * Well, I will. Whisper-- "Yes." ' " I *rm hunting up a den of countef- rs. Now you musn't tell any one;" "Oh, of course not. Where are they ?" ^ "'That HI have to find oat." %b ^And you are looking for them now?" fc;-;"^Yes." *'* -• ""-John," and I said this solemnly, an<1 if there was no possibility of a re­ fusal, "I'm going with vtra." -You?" He stared at me in blank astonish­ ment for a moment, then burst into a ilengh." J > "Yes, I," I nodded with emphasis. "'Impossible! A pretty figure I'd Wkke, hunting up counterfeiters with a woman in tow." ^ "I won't be in tow," I said, severely. "Well sail abreast. You needn't shake your head and laugh. If there's one wing in life I dote upon it's hunting up counterfeiters. I never did hunt any, it's true, but I want to begin. Now, John, (coaxingly) do let me go wi$h yon; that's a dear, good fellow. I won't be in the way." "Why, the idea is absurd." / *Oh, is it? I know why you don't "Want me with you. You are afraid you " " won't succeed, and don't want me to be -* witness to your failure. If you won't "take me with you I'll hunt them up my­ self, there!" -This was the last arrow in my quiver, «n& I thought it would strike home. It <5& . t "Well," he said, "if youll run the .chances, come along." . As the concession was made, the boat *w»s fastened to the slip and we went »tthore. A dozen cold-looking people hungry to catch the train and a r*©eRF policeman stood at the gate as we left the ferry-house for the road. Perpendicularly from the railroad track •«u® the TOcky wallsof the Palisades. They were covered-with snow in patches t-mnd looked as if some giant hand had 'Unevenly sprinkled them with fine •white sugar. Snow and slush filled in the space between the railroad ties. Two long and lean liaekmen told us it was a "smart" three miles to the Wee- -liawken police station. My companion muttered something about its being •only a mile, and hack fare being a ne- «oessarv adjunct to a woman's company, > WnereujKm :I independently offered to ' »ay half the fare. This was imperiously »TOCiinea, and we were soon bumping TGTJh« 8t*aw'-c«vered rocks and sand station. There a little 'Withered old man in a cardigan jacket ^nd a cap several sizeB too large for him mi was placarded "station keeper;" he r volubly volunteered all the information she knew about the den of counterfeiters • itwaantmuch. He knew that "some- - whwe" m the Palisades there was a aiKi tllat there the sound ' ®? *M*n»enng metal had been heard at night, and smoke had been seen coming • out of the Chimney. Yes, the police "Were working on the case, of course i tod had learned a great deal about the •Mnufcprfeiters. They were only waiting "to find oat where the place was and tbten they would arrest the men. When expected to find the men was a • problem for the future, how near or for the "station-keeper" did not know. "Well, weUl take a tramp and see iind," s»KLDe Belle, "that is if you haven't given up that abaurd idea of accompanying me. "More detenninod than ever," was my uncompromising reply, and we started to walk along the road at the base of the Palisades. The walking was hbr- rible, and a grim smile played about the mustache of my companion as tie saw me, with lifted skirts, " about in the snow and slush. "Pleasant walking," he said. I deigned no reply. After we h$d walked about a mile I heard a faiht sound like the ring of a hammer upon ant anvil. "Listen!" I said. "Do you hear tliat ?" "A blacksmith shop somewhere near." He was right. We turned an angle in the wall of rock, and jammed in a cor­ ner was a wooden shantv not much big­ ger than a corn-crib. 1'he musical ring of an impromptu anvil chorus came from its interior. Inside a brawny smith was forging railroad bolts. He looked up in surprise as we entered, and paused in his labor. De Belle cau­ tiously questioned him about the ob­ ject of our search, but he knew nothing. We took up our march again. Along the stretch of road ran the towering- wall of rock, and on our other hand stretched the icy Hudson. We picked our way through the dirty snow for an­ other mile or so, when we came to a break in the wall of the rock. It seemed as if the stone had been split and parted, leaving an irregular path between the sides. This path went up­ ward at a steep angle but we managed to toll up. It turned and twisted so that when we had gone several rods we lost sight of the river; rocky walls shut us out from the roadway we had left. I was nearly breathless when the path ceased to go upward, and we came to a level. Here it narrowed, and De Belle turning to me, said: I think we are on the wrong track. This path probably ends near here. It looks, though, just like a place where my game might house themselves. Well go on a little further, any way." A little further, and the split in the rock became so narrow that we could not traverse it without touching the sides of the walls. We kept on, how­ ever, and when we had about made up our minds to turn back, we suddenly came upon an open basin. It was cir­ cular in shape, and was studded here and there with a gaunt tree. At the far side of this basin was a clump of trees, and from their top we noticed a thin column of smoke rising. "See that!" said De Belle, in a , whisper. "There's our game." I was too excited to say anything. ' f! "Now, continued the detective, "yort stay here in the shadow of the rock, and HI see what that smoke means." "Can't I go with vou?" "No." I knew by the tone that this "no" meant no, and when I saw him take a heavy revolver from his pocket and cock it, I did not hesitate to obey. Telling me to remain perfectly quiet and await his return, De Belle started arpund the edge of tEe basin. He kept the trees between him and the smoke and made a circuit of the basin in order to reach the house, if there was one, behind the clump of trees. I watched his figure until it disappeared behind the trees at the far side of the basin. I strained my eyes in the direction of the den of con- terfeiters, which I firmly believed that place behind the trees to be, and waited. The minutes dragged slowly along, and I thought I had been there half an hour when I looked at my watch. It was just ten minutes since De Belle had left me. I was afraid to disobey him,but my curios­ ity was rapidly getting the mastery over my fear. Just then I heard the loud report off a pistol. It echoed and re-echoe# around the rocky basin, and for a mo­ ment I thought that the single shot had been answered by a volley from a hun­ dred muskets. Then all was still again. I could endure this no longer. Follow­ ing De Belle's example, I made a circuit of the basin and was soon on the edge of the trees. Then I walked on tiptoe through them, and soon caMe upon a tumble-down shanty. I quickly drew back to the shelter of the trees and watched the house intently. I w§us dying with curiosity, but I was afraid to advance. Perhaps that shot had killed De Belle. I began to tremble and had half made up my mind to run away when I saw De Belle come out of the low doorway. He came straight towards me, and I ran out to meet him. "Did I not tell you to remain where I left you?"' were his first words. I paid no att ention to the rebuke, but asked: "Are they counterfeiters? Have yon captured them?" "Yes, I've captured them, such as they are," he replied; and I thought al the time that I detected a look of dis­ gust in his face. "Come," he added, "if you want to see a den of counter­ feiters." I followed him across the opening tp the house. We entered, and I saw ah old woman and a crippled boy sitting on the floor. Plaster of paris images were strewn about the place, and the woman and boy were engaged in modeling other images in clay. Tliis was the den g| counterfeiters. The hammering on metal that had been iieard was when the boy was making the molds in which to cast images. The shot that had so $tartled me was an ac­ cident. De Belle had approached the place, and, in looking through one ot the windows, saw the true nature of the "den" at a glance. In placing the revolver back in his pocket it been accidentally discharged. The woman1 and the boy were mother and Bon, the boy sold the images in the citieft. Almost a Monologue. -i;' 'How do you like my new dress?" inquired Mrs. De Jaison of her husband. 'Isn't it a little " 'No it isn't. Now, Alfred, I think you're just horrid. It's the new color, emerald green." 'Yes, dear, but I was only going to say " 'Oh, I know! That it isn't the color I ought to wear. If it was that horrid Miss you would think it lovely." 'But I didn't mean " 'Yea, yon did, too. You're mean enough for anything. And you never noticed my new chip hat, either." ' "Why, my love, I thought " "You thought! Of course you did-- it makes me look frightful. I 1<..- (sob, sob)--declare it's to-0-0 b-a-d!" 'Il you'd only let me speak " "Speak! Why, what else have you done for the last half hour--just to fiwii fault, too, with everything I had on? What's that? A diamond for my birth­ day present? Oh, you dear, precious old sweet! Why didn't you say so, and not tease me so? I eouldn't imagine what you wanted to say."--Detroit Free Press. ' "OTHER WORLDS THAN OCBS." What Aitronampri Find on (he flMtM Mara--lta Inhabitant* Muat Be of • Dif­ ferent Type from Ours. M. Perrotin, of the Nice ObservaCrfy, has been looking through his big tele-, scope at the planet Mars, and, from what he observed, it appears that Maps is not only inhabited bv men, but by most skillful and energetic canal-cutters and engineers who put M. de Lease pa and his fellow-piercers of the isthmuses 'in back seats.' The canals perceived by M. Perrotin upon the surface of oar next outside neighbor in the solar sys­ tem, however, are along-known mystery of the heavens, and one that is probably as far as ever from being solved. Mars happens to be better situated for obser­ vation by astronomers than any other body in the sky except the moon. He is more than a hundred times farther off than the moon, at his very closest approach, and measures only 4,200 miles through at his equator; but, tin like the moon, he exhibits in turn every portion of his surface rotating in a day which is about half an hour longer than our own. Thus the entire face of the planet Mars has been pretty accurately mapped, and presents a diversified as­ pect of large patches of alternating lighter and darker markings, which may naturally suggest the divisions of land and water. At the poles of Mars are extensive white regions, which some­ times show up in the field of the tele­ scope with striking brilliancy and clear­ ness of definition; and, since these un­ dergo periodic chankes, occasionally al­ most vanishing and then shining forth at just the seasons when it would be winter with the Martians, astronomers had been led to call them "ice-caps" and to believe that we actually behold the Arctic and Antarctic polar seas of the planet in the form of these little white saucers stuck on each end of the "star of war." Astronomers, admirable on so many points, are never so stupid and unim­ aginative as when meditating on the probabilities of life beyond this earth, that old and fascinating topic of "more worlds than one." They take their ter- restial notions and experiences much too blindly into space; they ask if there be an atmosphere in the moon or water in Mars, and if any doubts exist about these elements they solemnly conclude that these and other lovely and eligible celestial abodes are tenantless. As if life were not conceivable witnout lungs and a liver! As if we must always carry about with us into the glorious promo­ tions of inter-stellar space tho dentist, the anti-bilious pill, and bronchitis! It is true that for beings constructed as we are at present Mars would be a novel and rather a surprising kind of abode. Supposing we found dense air enough to breathe there and water sufficient for a tea and washing--which are both du­ bious points, the aiminisiied" gravitation of the little planet is so great that it would induce a physical and mental levity fatal to dullness and forbidding sense of fatigue. WHat is a hundred­ weight here would there weigh only fifty-six pounds, and we could all go up-stairs five steps at a time or jump twice our own height with eas§ and grace. Then it would assuredly be very nice, if we were living in the right latitude on Mars, to have a quick moon and a slow moon, always careering round like splendid Chinese lanterns, saving gas bills, and encouraging long walks of lovers and Martial poetry. A fall from a horse would seldom or never prove at all serious in the Martial hunt­ ing fields; the rider would rebound from the soft soil like an india rubber cushion. Aerial navigation has quite possibly been solved long ago by the fortunate people of the red planet, the conditions being so extremely favorable, and who knows, indeed, whether the so- called "canals" are not vast toboggan­ ing slides, where the entire population enjoys the unwonted sense of swift de­ scent, and some little spice of peril ? But we maybe sure of this, that if there be sentient creatures on the silver and pearl surfaces of Mars, they are of a very different type from our terrestial frames, for life is always the equation of its surrounding conditions, and we denizens of the earth have lungs anct a larynx simply because we live at the bottom of an aerial sea, just as the fish possess gills because they breathe the water. Meantime they speculate iji Mars, perchance, upon us as much a* we on them, and wonder if people cai possibly live with only one moon an< with two-thirds of their planet swam pe< by water, to say nothing of being s< much nearer to the fiery sun, and re volving round him in a circle instead an eclipse. Fame and Famed Men. A "society" woman, at whose tab Longfellow was dining, asked him "Oh, Mr. Longfellow, have you eve published a book?" This was afte two-thirds of his life-work was don Hawthorne says that in his later year he met many people who knew hit well as the ex-surveyor of the port Salem, but who never knew that he ha written anything, and had not eve heard that there was such a book s '"The Scarlet Letter." Even the genii Autocrat is not appreciated by even bodj in his own town. One day a American gentleman went into aba: ber's shop as Dr. Holmes was goin out. "Do you know who that was that j went out?" asked the barber. Beinl curious to see what account of Holmes the barber would give, t! visitor shook his head. "Why," said tho barber, that's o Dr. Holmes." ™ ' "And who is Dr. Holmes?" "Oh, he's been a doctor here a grei many years. I believe he ain't pra< ticin' any more, bnt he's thought a got deal of!" Greatness is paid homage to by son people in very peculiar ways. Ever body must remember the story told i connection with Victor Hugo. Th great poet was startled one morning b the intrusion of three Englislimei "Victor Hugo,said one, consulting pocket-book. The poet bowed, thinkt"?*.0' ing that he should be asked for his auk lrlnk at a11, 1 f --, said til ' wjgMl lMgagW jKmv*t the time tc • for her grave, and These a*6 .thsUrst violetswhioh Hare bloomed on OMrthet's gravevJC fcave plucked them. •>nd I to think!thafe she sends them to jw her gre6tiig&" poet's eyes moistened as he took th® posy, and, putting it into his but ton-bale, he said to his wife: "There, dear woman! is not that an order more vatanble than any king can givfe?" Of; late years several literarv men have been fortunate. Prof. Huxley found a check for £4,000 in one of his morning letters--the bequest of a Bol­ ton admirer. Charles Reade was re­ membered in the wills of more than one admirer. These generous recogni­ tions of gtatets are; however, trifling in comparison with the offer of an Ameri­ can millionaire to Martin Tupper, of "Proverbial Philosophy" fame. "I am one of the richest men in New York," he said to the author, "and I know au­ thors must be poor.' I like1 your books and have told my bankets^ttdming them) to honor any checks oft me you may like to draw;" and when the offer was .declined the millionaire's house, his yacht, and his carriage were placed at Mr. Tupper's disposal. Gifts such as these and unconventional compliments go a long way toward constituting real fame.--Home Journal. Abnormal Sleep. Familiar as is normal sleep; H0> tme can fully explain it. It is, neverthe­ less, a blessed fact. Though it seems to take one-third from our life, it really prolongs it by the daily renewing of vigor. . Some of the abnormal forms of sleep exhibit strange phenomena. We need not dwell on sleep induced by opiates the lethargy of apoplexy, and, what is doubtless akin to it, the sleep of the drunkard, the coma of Bright's dis­ ease and diabetes, and the almost irre­ sistible sleep caused by freezing cold. The sleep of somnambulism is a very interesting form. The person will get up and go abroad in the darkness and into the most dangerous situations wholly without fear. The power of sight is ofter greatly exalted, and seems sometimes wholly independent of ordinary vision. Another form is that of catalepsy. In this there is an entire loss of sensibility and ordinary consciousness. The limbs may be placed in any position, the most grotesque and uncomfortable, and they remain so, as if they were made of wax. Still another form is that of hypno­ tism, or - esmerism, induced on stis- ceptibl subjects by skilled manipula­ tors. The person becomes insensible to pain, and his will is entirely subject to that of the experimenter. The barest suggestion through any sense is suffi­ cient to put the person (under the dom­ inance of the idea suggested. Akin to artificial hypnotism is a mor­ bid condition into which persons of a nervous organization sometimes fall. The celebrated "Soho Sleeper" would, for many years, fall asleep for a fort­ night or more at a time, meanwhile ex­ hibiting more or less of the peculiar characteristics of hypnotism. Many similar cases might be cited, for hardly a month passes when the newspapers do not tell the wonderful story of some sleeping girl," who has been living un­ conscious for weeks; but some of the cases are not only interesting scientific­ ally, but pathetic. In 1745 the wife of an English Colonel apparently died. The husband persistently refused to have her buried, and watched over her cold and mo­ tionless body for eight days. Suddenly, on the bells of & church ringing, she started up, saying, "It is the last prayer- bell ; it is time to go." A lady patient was requesting to have a hot-water bottle put* to her feet, say­ ing, "I feel"--when she passed into a cataleptic state, and ..remained in it three hours. On opening her eyes, she ended her sentence--"a great cold oyer my whole body."--Companion. How German Waiters Manage. In Berlin the waiters in beer gardens are very sly in securing tips. When a guest pays his bill and the waiter has to make change, the latter returns all the change correctly except ten pfennigs* The waiter searches industriously in all his pockets and displays ostentatiously all his change, but he has no ten pfennig West HcH SODA Beat iridveYForfl. graph next. After the visitors ha< stared for a few seconds the book was again consulted. "Elevei o'clock: the lions!" said the spokesman Then the party bowed and walked oui of the room. The highest honor that Uhland, the Prussian poet, received was a very humble gift. The Prussian King Fred­ erick William IV. offered him the Order Pour le Merite, with flattering expres­ sions of the royal regard, but Uliland, who was essentially a poet of the people, declined to accept it. While explain- his wife the reason which moved The following from the Car- bage, 111. Qasfette, teaches 09 not to we drink water we et anakes in eur stomach and if we w pocket|rlnk liquor we get 'em In our boots About five weeks ago S'lon Ware,|:'; Busbville, wltli a partner, weref forking In the timber and were lnjtt to refuse the distinction, a working- 1 class girl from the neighborhood w entered, An Indiana postmistress abdicated . and presenting the Uhlandwith a bunch in deep disgust the other dav. A postal of violets, said: card addressed to one of her rivals was received at the office. It was written in short-hand. "This is an offering from my mother!" "Your mother, child!" replied the poet j "I thought she died last autumn." -TLTU. NOW 'oomis, in the American Magazine. / Not What He Was Looking For. "Do yo u know of anybody who has a, good dog for sale?" ask one traveling man of another. "Yes, I've got one myself. Fine ani­ mal. I think he would just suit w>u." " What kind of a dog is it?" ̂* "A setter." . , "A setter!"'* * . "Yes. Shall I bring hi* around to show him to you?"' *~" "No, thanks. I've got a whole back yard full of hens. J want a dog."-- Merchant Traveler. Receiving Young One of the most Holemn rendering dnties of every.; tive in Washington is to present brides and grooms from his district to the President. It is at the morning levees of the President that the ceremony takes place. The President has been nearly four years receiving these visits, and, as he imagines that he will have lour years more of the same sort of tiling, he has got by heart a nice ept of little reversi­ ble, double action speeches, which en­ able him entirely to discard the clyco- pedia, and charra and delight the young man and young woman who have just committed matrimony. The scene is something like this: The crowd which has been oorraled first in the outer room on the second floor of the White House is let into the Presi­ dential office by a solemn, silver-topped old gentleman. The portly " First Mag­ istrate" stands at a little desk at the south side of the room, and those who have been admitted to an audience seat themselves along the wall; and then in turn they approach and hold a few mo­ ments' conversation with him. Here comes a member from a New England State, and following in hie wake the inevitable bride and groom. The groom looks nervous and fidgets with his hat and umbrella, but the bride just tries to look pretty, and, making a succes^ of it, as she well knpws, is not the least Kit bashful. The Congressman looks bored and seems to be wondering if it is possible that there are any un­ married people left in his district. "Mr. President, allow me to present, etc., etc." The President smiles blandly and shakes hands perfunctorily. He catches the name of the place from which the couple are; he touches a stop in his mental phonograph and says: "Skowhegan! Ah, yes." JBeautiful place!" Good fishing about there, I am told. I have long been contemplat­ ing a trip to your beautiful city, but never have been able to get there. I hope some day, however." This is said seriously; then jokingly he adds: "You must keep vour eye on your Congressman, here, be is trying to run off with all the honors of the House. Good day." Another handshake, and the bride and groom depart to spread the praise of the President and the Congressman throughout the woods of Maine. The next couple are from Chicago, and after the usual introduction, the same old perfunctory handshake and smile, the President says: " Chicago ? Ah, yes, beautiful place." He fumbles at the keys of the mental phonograph a second, and getting hold of the one marked "Chicago," proceeds as follows: "A great city, destined probably to be one of the largest «in the world. I have the pleasantest recollections of Chicago, and am always charmed to meet people from there. Keep your eye on your Representative here, and make him show you the city. Good day." And so it goes on for an hour or two, Congressmen, Senators, and prominent officials, who have business to talk over with the President, alternating with the peripatetic bride and groom and the long-suffering Congressman, their guide. The advantage of the President's little speeches can easily be recognized. ,They are in sets, each set suited to d particular section. Now, one speech can be made, by the Presidential pro­ cess, to apply to neaily a hundred differ­ ent places. All he has to do is to catch the name of the place from which the brid3 and groom hail, and turn on the mental phonograph, filling in the blanks with the name of the town or city re­ quired. This is a great saving c" weai and tear on the mechanism of the Pres­ idential thinker, yet even this does not always work smoothly, and there are weird (rumors that once or twice the President got the key to his mental phonograph mixed up and gave a speech intended for Denver and cities within 200 miles of there instead of one built for New Orleans. Immunity from Consnmption. Prof. Mosso has recently proven ex- perimently that man possesses a lung capacity which is nearly one-foui th larger than the actual necessities of life at the sea-level demand, hence, by em­ ploying his whole lung capacity, he can extract a sufficient amount of oxygen from this attenuated atmosphere with­ out difficulty. And herein lies the se­ cret why so many consumptives and others with weak lungs derive §uch a benefit when they resort to a mountain climate. Every available space in the chest is brought into requisition to fur­ nish the needed amount of oxygen, the apices are called out of their lethargic state, and the alveoli are inflated; and if the infiltrated areas are not dispersed, the surrounding alveoli are kept per­ meable, and so the disease is at least limited and called into abeyance. In concluding his paper, Dr. Mays says: Now, after reviewing the whole sub­ ject, we are driven to the conclusion that the line of immunity from consump­ tion, %vliich, in the early history of our country, was located at the Atlantic seaboard, and which has gradually re­ ceded westward with tho tide of civiliza­ tion, until at present it has reached the latitude of Colorado, will not stop in its course until it touches the shores of the Pacific; that the question of curing the disease does not depend on the purity or freshness of the air, or upon the number of bacilli whiol; the atmosphere may contain, or upon the Staount of oxy­ gen which may be introduced iuto the body, for these are all secondary* con­ siderations, but it is simply a mechan­ ical question, a question as to the best mode of expanding the lungs, and es­ pecially the? apices of attt round-should­ ered and flat-chested patients, of re­ moving the infiltrated products already existing, and of enhancing the constitu­ tional resistance."--Science. He Came Oat AH Right. "The closest man I ever knew* iwftd one, "is to-day one of the wealthiest citizens of Massachusetts. When he was a young man he got a job in a shoe shop, and earned $6 or $7 a week. When Saturday came, he got his first money--the first he had ever earned-- afkd that afternoon he invested $2 in a r%?, which he showed the following Monday with a good deal of pride. But his shop-mates showed him that what purported to be gold was only thinly washed brass, and that the alleged stone was only a piece of glass.. The whole thing was not worth 15 cents. He was a good deal crestfallen, but said nothing. The next morning lie turned up minus the ring, but unusually bright and chijj- per. 'Perhaps you boys think I don't understand business,' he said. 'I sold that ring for $3, and made a clean dob lar on it.' 'And to whom did you sell it ?' they asked. 'To my sister.' --Bo* ton Herald. n»t»naJ criais eeetted about to riiw recency in Germanyas the result of a proposed marriage between the daughter of the reigning Emperor and Prince Alexander of Battenbenr. was formerly Prince of Bulgaria, and while occupying that throne gave such offence to the Russian Czar that he was abducted, and was afterward forced to give up his Bulgarian throne. Obnox­ ious, therefore, as Alexander is to the Czar, Prince Bismarck declared his marriage into the Emperor's family Was likely to bring about unpleasant relations--and perhaps worse--between Germany and Russia, and therefore Bismarck strenuously resisted the ar­ rangement which was dear to the heart both of the young princoss herself and of her mother, the Empress Victoria. This occurrence strikingly illustrates the fact that marriage among the European reigning families may still have a large influence upon the course of political events. It is quite true that ties do not prevent, and never have pre­ vented, the different nations from quar­ relling with and fighting eaqh other. Royal fathers-in-law and brotliers-in- aw have often all through European history confronted each other on the battle-field, and allied themselves with each other's enemies. Napoleon1 I. warred upon Francis of Austria, his father-in-law, and a few years ago En­ gland and Russia were on the Very point of coming to blows, though the second son of Queen Victoria was the husband of the Czar's sister. Yet the reigning families, or their ministers, have always arranged mar­ riages between their members for "dy­ nastic" and political reasons, and not seldom the fact that marriage ties ex­ isted between them has turned the scale in favor of or against wars and other important political events. In the monarchies, indeed, either absolute law or immemorial custom has established the rule that royalty can only wed royalty, and that if the heir, near or remote to a throne marries be­ neath the royal rank, he shall forfeit his right of succession. Prince Oscar of Sweden, by marrying recently Miss Munck, one of the maids of honor at the Swedish court, was obliged to abandon all right to succeed to the throne, and to give up his rank as a royal prince. In order to avoid such results, the princes of many European states are permitted to contract what are called "morganatic" marriages, with women not of royal blood. But the children of such marriagos are not recognized as their father's heirs,'or as being of the blood royal; nor does a morganatic marriage prevent the prince who makes it from also legally wedding a princess of royal blood. Royal marriages for dynastic or polit­ ical reasons often have two opposite re­ sults. They often unite in wedlock a prince and a princess who know little of each other, and who do not love each other. On the other hand, the rule of dynastic marriages sometimes keeps apart a prince and princess who do love each other. The latter is said to be the case with the Prince Alexander a^d tli§ Princess Victoria. Sometimes, lioweVer, it happens that affection and political exigencies harmonize, and produce happy 'marriages. Of such a character, undoubtedly were the marriages of Queen Victoria with Prince Albert; of her son, the Prince of Wales, with the Danish Princess Alexandra; of the present German Emperor with his Em­ press, and of the present Czar with the. Princess Dagmar. So long-continued has been the cus­ tom of intermarriages between the royal people, that the present reigning families of Europe are all more or less nearly related to each other; and, in many instances, are related to each other by numerous ties of blood and in­ heritance. It cannot be said, however, that this fact materially lessens the probability of war. Indeed, as the case of Prince Alexander and the German Princess shows adherence to the custom may bring the prospect of dissension ana war nearer, rather than more re­ mote.-- Youth's Companion. "Rongh on Rats." Dr. T. C. Miller has a remarkable paper in the Lancet Clinic on "Rough on Rats"--a preparation of arsenic, the doctor says, as deadly as any form in which the poison is taken. It seems that this mixture is the favorite medi­ cine with suicides. Here is the gem of the doctor's contribution: "We had a patient a few years since, a winsome, gentle creature, whose chasity, judging from her surroundings, was not as white as the unsunned snow in a Cincinnati atmosphere. This un­ fortunate took a dose of laudanum, and was only rescued from a trip across the Styx by the free use. of emeticg, atropia, and hot coffee. After tlie recovery she made the remark that she wished she had taken arsenic, and would have doge so, but had -understood that they used an iron antidote that might possibly in­ jure her teeth in case she was discov­ ered before the final agony. What use a suicide's teeth can be put to is one of those mysteries only to be solved by thinking she, perhaps, expected to ex­ perience the gnawings of hell. "When philanthropic and public- spirited druggists suspect their custom- era desire to sujci(J§ it would be more charitable to sell hydrocyanic acid in place of arsenic, as the infringements of the law is no more serious. Untold suffering might be avoided by the de­ spairing human creatures were such a merciful method followed, but to sell arsenic disguised as 'Rough on Rats' ilb the very acme and quintessence of phar­ maceutical cruelty and meanness." ^ Arithmetical. Teacher--Now,- remember, Robert, that a horse's front legs, as you call them, are his fore legs. Will you try to? Bobby--Yessim. Teacher --That's a good boy, Now, before I dismiss you, tell me again how many legs a horse has. Bobby (proudly)--Six legs. Teacher--Six? How do you make that out? Bobby--The two legs what's his hind legs and the four legs what's his front legs is six lags.--Bing Hampton Repub­ lican. He Was Acquitted* • Polioe Judge -- Prisoner, yon an charged with having brutally assaulted this man. "I admit it, Your Honor, but there were extenuating circumstances." "Of what nature?" "Why, this man asked me Ht a lfon and a half laid an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many '" "That will do. You are discharged." --Nebraska State Journal. THERE is really nothing encouraging' in the expression, "There's plentv of room at the top," if we stop to reflect that we cant all be the Ing strawberry. M Or a bank check it •*Its face is its fortune." THE sphere of the weather prophet-- * : | atmosphere.--Washington Critic. Miss AMELIK Rrvm writes her love stories with a low-necked pen.--Life. A PIANO which plays by electricity is on the market. Now this is shocking. THERE are more than 1,500 kinds of jack-knives, but after a year or two of experience a boy finds that they can all - be lost with equal facility---Somerville Journa l . 'V* ALTHOUGH a tennis match does not " provoke such noisy enthusiasm as a ball ' ^ game, the costumes of the players are loud enough to be heard a mile.--New . tj Haven News. > J\ "How ABE we off for whisky?" asks • the Kew York Sun. The remark was: - evidently addressed to the office boy,: an4 not intended to get into print.-- Burlington Free Press. "I UNDERSTAND that Smith has a fit contract to pave a mile of street." "Yes; i an<Tthe poor devil will make a pile out; of it." "But Avhere is he going . to get the brick?" "Out of his hat."--Areola f Record. ^ A WRITER says an ordinary beetle can S-F! draw twenty times its own weight. We ;1 have seen the insect move a woman weighing 166 pounds by simply lighting within half an inch of her nose.--orris- 1 | town Herald. \ "WHY, bless your heart, Erasmus, dis yere fotygraf ain't like you no how. It , .< makes yer look ten yars* older dan you >1 is." "Dat's all right, honey. I needn't git annudder tooken for de nex' ten yars. / See!"--Detroit Free Press. DR. BEDDOE, an English scientist, 1 says that blondeB are decreasing in num­ ber, and that in a century or so a red- 1 headed woman will be almost as rare as a white blackbird. This wont help us much!--Boston Beacon. Miss BUDROSE (getting vaccinated)-- * Do you think it will take, Dr. Man- tague? Dr. Montague (gallantly)--If it J doesn't take on such an arm, my dear Miss Violet, I shall have but little re­ spect for vaccine hereafter. BROWN--Do you know Miss Smith? Robinson--I have spoken to her, but I never met her. B.--Spoken to her but never met her? Why that's impossible. R.--It is not impossible. I have spoken • ; to her through the telephone.--Boston Courier. IN an action for $200 damage on ac­ count of slander Judge Davidson yes­ terday dismissed the action on the . ground that plaintiff had swindled de­ fendant in a bargain and had therefore earned the epithets bestowed on him.--- Montreal Witness. 3, Miss PETROLEUM--It does make me ~ so mad. With all our money we don't git no respect. Mrs. P.--Eh? What'a folks been saying now ? "Hintin'about the way we got our caah. What d^S think Miss Boston said when I showed her pop's new portrait ? She asked if it was painted in oil."--Omaha WSrld, THE Editor'S WIFC--CHORDS, I have jnst read that TVI. Gregoki, the editor of the Athena Gazette, writes thr^e col­ umns of editorials every day of his life'.' Isn't that astonishing? The Editor-^ Not at all, my love. I frequently write four columns a day. The Editor's Wife • --Ha, yes, Charley, but M. Gregoki % writes in Greek. Think how difficult '-J that must be! "Is THERE anything new under the ^ gun?' asked Rollo, as he closed his book. "Yes." said his Uncle George, "revenue." "It would be to some peo- V3 pie," said Rolio's mother, with quiet but womanly severity. And Rolio's Uncle . George softly whistled a fragment of two or three tunes and went out to see if the next frost had killed any of the July roses.--Burdette. BJONES--Ah, Witticus, good morn­ ing! You are looking blue. What's wrong? Witticus--Nothing wrong. I made $150 writing paragraphs last week. Bjones--Well, I wouldn't be blue about that. Did you ever make as much as 'that before? Witticus--No; but it - makes me feel as if I were overworking myself. I ought, by rights, to be tired; but I'm not, and I'm afraid something's wrong.--Harper's Bazar. " SOLVING A OFLEA'F BLWICLFLTR. . , '.-.A W h e n t h e g u e s t h a d d i n e x t , l i e t h e j t t t p e b 1 4 ' t ! And, as he was not a tobacco hater, " >' V ' 3 He lighted a prime Havana and said: "Please bring me a cuspidore," to the waiter. The waiter had ne'er heard the word before, > But he left the room to obey the order, And long he pondered beside the door. Yea thought till he reached distraction's bonlw To bis brother waiters he could not go ' To seek for the needed information. Bis ign orance he would thereby show And thus drink the cup of humiliation. ^ Ha! ha! why he could not the order fill. At last, he hod found for the guest a reasoa; He entered the room, smiled, bowed, stood stillf "Sab, cuspido's, sab, ain't in season." . mUaston Courier. , t / > 4 's Two China StorfelT 4 ^ Arthur McEwen, a brilliant NFCWS*' paper man of San Francisco, once took it into his head to teach a class of Chi­ nese boys the English we use. These boys were sons and nephews of im­ mensely rich silk and tea merchants,' and among them was one who was de­ cidedly unruly. McEwen went to the boy's uncle and undertook to explain in "pigeon-English" the trouble he was having with the lad. Said he: "Your ) nepliee, he no likee studee. He belly VI badee boyee. I BLOW notee whatee I do with he." 'fhe old Chinaman, who spoke as good English as McEwen could, somewhat astonished the journalist by saying: "Why don't you take a good big birch and give the voting scamp a thorough dressing with that? TIT it a few times, and I guess hell com£ Put all right." Ma$ acted on the suggestion, and suc­ ceeded in Christianizing the young heathen quite rapidly. Of a piece is the story about DeOflis Kearney and a Chinese merchant. Such men as the sand-lot agitator never t.hinlr of Chinese other than as coolies. They don't know that liighcaste Chinamen are frequently polished and accomplished gentlemen, and the idea of their speak­ ing respectable English never suggests itself. On one occasion the famous leader of the San Francisco sans cu­ lottes approached an old Chinese gen­ tleman, who spoke better English Kearney will ever learn, and who, more­ over, dressed in silks and,fine linen and fared sumptuously every day. It was at the time when Kearney was making his crusade against the Chinese, and with the shibboleth, "TheChinese must go,' said to the old man: "Phwat axe ye dom'd havthen going to do phwin we drive yez out of the counthry?" "I suppose," the old man replied, that well go to Ireland. That seems to be about the only place where these Irish don't run things."--Traveler. AK English canal company nMke* we of the locomotive upon the towiag- pathi A small engHte employed upon 18-inch rails draws four boats at the mto m j ... • M V' -A v < <