lOMiasit are , t* iln* yell Ukpti t o *1» tronipjn* t go back r.hei* and « Witt ii\v band^ -boy hf>»rt'« tmflernpni h it there I d Sfct eyos once wurw on before ta the airly «1HWH, 'at loved growM 1 «hi th»> violet Vongit the Hills o' Horoors^tl tU 1 How't. 'u'd rent a roan like 4m JM far TxWit, «ui hour to fx> w llws where the morpiu' air <30uld rMctt oat nod ketch m* thei*#* ihluAy bntth away, and then i <K(a vA It back ugaijL i M dew, ud smellta* of Id pinki I a«t to love, . And a^ftitvsrv enc t»wM> • T1 If % With wktiobM ©' mulberries '• f .... »Jc iSS3SXB*£a8&8t*. *S i Whers- a ft ah bit, d^y «r w»t, Mongst (be Bills ©' BomMraot I like a livta' pictur' things : < All mbhw back: the bluebird sw*n#i'?* In the Maple, tongue and bill Trillin'glory fit to kill! " • ' -la tboorehard, Jay and bee < \̂v Ripens the Hrft Mara fer nM ,̂ - S Aad tbe "PriuceVl̂ rvest,**W £ Tumble to a* where I lav . J <. In the tttarar, provin' stiii "A boy'»wttl is the wind* will." My Clean /ergot is time, and cai^ : ,r And thiak hearin', and gray hair-- But they s nothin 1 forget ;; • •X_ "Ifongst the Hills o'ifomerset II '• S " -?§•** .jjt. Middle-aged--to he edx.iet, • S* Very middle-aged, in fact-- ' , Yet vthmkin' back to tKen.',*jil A' I'm the same wSM boy agniit! . ,j> There's the dear old home once &'"1 And there's Mother at the door-- 1 Dead, I know, fer thirty year, *, » Yet she's nnain', and I hiar. SA. And then'* Jo, and Mary J mm, }? * And Pap, eomin' up the lausl • *Husk's a-falliu'; and the dew,' vif' i Tears like it 's a fall in' too--' " , Dreamin' we're all linn' vet*- . . Hon gut the Hills a* Soinersdtl:"" . +The Century. M,V |;K> fy*i ; An O'er True Tale. ; 0 K was a calm, cool morning of mid- iiiinmer. The birds were singing in the trees, which were swaying in the gen tle breeze, and the first glinting rays of tbe early morning sun were kissing «way the dewdrops from the flowers. / Pretty Veva Martin went gayly Hhroagli the large, old-fashioned farm* kotne doing her morning*^ work, and i<Mning her sweet voice with the birds JVotside. Like a breath of sunshine she glided from room to room, her dark tjuur clustering in waving ringlets about far esquisite forehead and falling into a ahinrmering mass far l»elow her finely- formed waist. Involuntarily a little Oty of alarm escaped her lips as, passing (pom the drawing-room into the kitchen, beheld a dark form in the doorway, tic be scared ma'am. Its only a '-fee to eat that I want. Ton look like M kind lady, would you mind giving me breakfast?" „ , Veva looked «t ttie man closely; 3Therc was no mistake what he was--a - Naturally of a kind disposition she ~#*s not long in deciding what to do. Had there been any doubt in her mind, tkfe pained, hungry look and the wistful •deeding of those not unkind eyes must L jhwe decided her. Bidding him to be seated she soon an abundant meal upon the table before him, then with a keen satis- faction she watched him as he eat. IP' - '-Daring the progress of the meal a con- - "*«reation was kept up between the two, which was of a nature very encouraging ;.4d the poor tnunp. s "May God keep and bless you Miss," liiesaid, as with an awkward bow, his torn " sat in his hand, he prepared to ""An iiis departure, ""The time may come when I can do a a service; and if it does, God knows ^' will gladly do it." ^ 1& ^eTa watehed him till he was outside • gate, then closed the door and re- »OD;menced her morning's labor. The passed away and she thought no . more concerning him except to wonder she had not been afraid in his *t - gkesence. ; The next m«rning all Brighton was CITOWE into a state of intense excite ment. Little groups of two or three ythered here and there upon the Streets and discussed in low but ex- ^iied tones the all-absorbing theme of 4m robbery of the Brighton Bank which (had been broken into the night before, the iaithful old watchman being •rurdered at his post. Who could be Jfiie guilty one no one ventured to say. -•SI* excitement had reached a fever noon, and when it became known ;-6iafc Frank Thornly, the young bank •/•-Jflerk, had been arrested, and accused . , ^if the crime, it required the ut- jpost influence of the calmest citizens •Ip^ preserve peace in the heretofore '^fuiet village. When the sad news be- •ji&me known to her, V«va turned deathly »tlo, a convulsive shudder skook her . frame and die sank unconscious to the ; toor. "What is the matter? What has • happened ? 0,1 remember it all now. But he is innocent and they dare not . nake him suffer," were her words upon «egainin^ conscioubness as she stared tllankly into the faces around her. But ieeply as Veva felt for her betrothed lover, she had ho power to save him from a prison cell. The case against •him was a strong one. •v The cashier, Mr. Dunlea, was absent • %om home and no one else had access lo the safe. The cord drew tighter j^fibout him, and, despite his earnest pro testations of innocence, he was thrust * jy into jail to psss a sleepless night. »y Morning came at last, and as the if ' itraggling rays of sunlight jjenetrated ; iaU> the solitary-depths of his cell a key r> turned in the massive lock with a harsh, fe . grating sound, the bolt flew back and »; - j*he door swung upon its hinges. ; • "9"°^ m°rning, Mr. Tliornly," said : 'the jailer, pleasantly, l»ut Frank made no response. "I bring good news to you," he continued. '"The real culprit |#ias confessed and you are a free man." At this Frank started up and ^looked in a dazed sort of wav. ;|His clouded mind at length took in i' Jfche full meaning of the jailer's words. «L ;||He was free, what a world of joy that •f >!s|sne word containe'd. j f As might be expected, Frank Thornly the lion of the hour. Friends ^pressed round him on every side and $|gre«j>ed his hand in loving clasp. S? But the man who had confessed the j., ̂ »crime--what of him? Who was he? ? ̂ f One glance sufficed to tell. He was \; 4but one of the vasUgmy of tramps, and I '"V ; >was recognized as^B& j>erwon who had ,<called the previous morning at the Martin farm-house. Alas, no one had good word to say for him. On the contrary, loud and long were the i threats against him. The minds of the i jgexidvoitizens of Brighton were worked ~ t» point. Evening found the excitement un- , the urilf rmufftwmd crim inal been, anybody but a tnunp things mipty .have beqn -differ*«nt; but that atone was sTiffioient to condemn him. As they gathered eteeets but a Word was n&edra to ttrttue them to action. *that word by one of the rasher ones, and as if with one ac cord they all moved toward the jail. A huge login the hands of determined men soon crashed through the heavy door. Resistance on the part of the jailor was useless and the prisoner was completely at their mercy. A rope was hastily secured and ' the , helpltoss prisoner dragged forth amid loud sli&uts of ap proval from the crowd that had collected about. At the hands of the ruthless mob the poor tramp found no mercy. Strong hands carried or dragged him to a point some half a mile away. The full moon had just risen over the tree-tope in the east as if to witness the tragedy, when the rope was thrown over the strong limb of a large tree and willing hands swung the helpless tramp into the air. At this instant the sound of * horse galloping over the stony road arrested their attention. " ".Stop!" shouted the horseman as he passed a sharp curve in the road and came into view. The hands that held the rope released their grasp. All eyes were turned upon the new-comer as he reined his horse beside them. "It is all a mistake, boys. That man is innocent." 'He confessed the crime, Andy Door; I recken we know what we ore about. Up with him boys!" 'Hold! I say," said the horseman, who had been addressed as Dorr, I know what I am saying when I say that man is innocent. Lust night, as the midnight express was crossing the river, the bridge gave way and the whole train was thrown into the river. Among those who were crushed, by the broken timl>ers was Mr. Dunlea, cashier of the Brighton Bank. He regained consciousness at noonto-day, and, being told that he had but a few hours to live, he confessed that he had returned to Brighton in the night and robbed the bank. He also revealed the hiding place of nearly all the plunder, the irest being upon his person." Tenderly the poor tramp was raised and born back to the village. Kind hands labored for his restoration and success at length crowned their efforts. It was then that the secret of his con fession became known. He had been present, though unseen, at the Miff- tin farm house when Veva first heard of her lover's arrest. All the pity in his heart was stirred at the sight of her misery. The mem ory of her kindness to torn caused him to determine to do something to relieve her suffering. Accordingly he made the confession which well nigh cost him his life, as the only way that presented itself. In after life he found a home and friends with Frank Tliornly and his wife, Veva, and he repaid their kindness by a life of honest faithfulness. Hew Stady for Women. It is not generally known that women are possessed of an unfair advantage over their male competitors in society. Supposing for a moment that the yoking man and the young woman are equally well versed in the questions of the day when their education is supposed to be finished. They leave school, and it is not commonly known that the young lady is afforded special facilities after she has made her debut in the fashionable world for following up her studies. There are several clever women in society who make a circuit of the houses of prominent society people dur ing the week, and in the drawing rooms meet a class or club of women belong ing to society, and lecture to them for en hour and a half on topics of the day. The method of this lecturer is to take up the subjects which are occupy ing space and attention in the newspa pers and to explain and elucidate them in such a way that the facts involved and their relation to each other are readily apprehended even by the most careless mind. Home rule, Gladstone's policy, the Mill's tariff bill, the interstate commerce law, the Bou- langer movement in France, /Mat thew Arnold's Nineteenth Cen tury article on America, the opening of the saloon in Paris, and similar ob jects relating to art, to literature, so ciety, or politics are taken up one after another and the exact situation and significance briefly and clearly explained. In short, these teachers give a prac tical answer to such eager applicants as those who, in less favored circum- ° stances in life, apply to the newspapers who run a column headed "Answers to Correspondents," and who want to learn to talk fluently and agreably in the draw- iag-r<>om or at the dinner-table. It is a mattfr of no wonder, therefore, that when these elaborately coached society women who have absorbed information respecting all questions of public con cern in the same highly condensed form from which they take their phy sical nourishment (for beef tea, soft- boiled-eggs, and calvesfoct jelly are favorite viands), are able when they meet distinguished foreigners to con verse with them in so prompt and glib and entertaining a fashion that the foreigners are left in a condition of help less bewilderment and astonishment.-- OniaiM World. , BT muss W^tTTOX. - O Thtw, til* groat Father of Nations I Ttoct, The mighty OM Of love aad meroy; Ttoa,' Who diaat oontrtrs the ani*vso$u>&baiM » The tUra, aad fashion the round worlds to spin Tnroogh space, obadient and nneiring--• And yet, from whose all-seeiuK. e cu the spar row's lite 'Bcapes not nnnotiood--now. we boaeech That, Ijean Thine ear, for, lo, the Nation kneels I There, at Thy feet, she lifts a swelling prayer Of gratitude to Thee. Another year is son*. Ana still her life throbs with the biao^t'Of health; Her heart is fnllof peace, and in hmt vebu Proiperity.and thrift, THREE THANKSGIVINGS. iftrtae.' A Female HaH-Carrter. Oregon has a woman mail-carrier. Her name is Minnie Westman, and she carries Uncle Sam's mail from the head of navigation on the Siuslaw River over the Coast Range Mountains, following up the river to Hale's postoffice station, within fifteen miles of Eugene City. Her route is twenty miles long and is situated right in the heart of the moun tains, where all the dangers and adven tures incident to such an occupation abound. She carries the mail night and day and fears nothing. She rides horse back and carries a trusty revolver. Miss Westman is a plump little brun ette and is just 20 years old. Her father and uncle operate a stage line and have a contract for carrying the mail. At Hale's station Minnie meets her father and gets the mail from Eugene City and starts on her return. Miss Westman has never met with a serious mishap^ in the performance of her duty. On one of her trips last year she found three good-sized bears in the road, right in front of her. The horse, on espying them, became frightened, threw his rider to the ground, and, turning around, ran back the road he came. Miss Westman, with great pres ence of mind, started after the runaway, and, overtaking him, remounted and rode right through the savage cordon, and, strange to say, she was not at tacked. Meeting some friends she told them of what she had seen, and they went to the place and killed the bears. So far this year Miss Westman has met two bears which did not molest her, lxgtntAKCE was in general use in Italy, 1194, and in England, 1560. BT JKFF1K FOKBCSH HAXAFOMl. It was Thanksgiving Eve. The suu had disappeared, and one by one the stars were opening their bright eyes in the great, blue vault above, and the moon looked down, serene and holy. It had snowed a little during the day, coming down in soft, feathery flakes, and covering up the still, dead face of nature, and now for miles around was an unbroken surface of white. Over the hills wound the main road from the city, now almost cov ered from sight by the snow, and pot far from it stood a large, comfortable farmhouse, much superior to the ma jority of dwellings of its class. It was the only cheering feature of the whole landscape, and the bright lights from its windows streamed out Warmly into the night. • The curtains were up, and if one could have looked into the cosy little sitting-room they would have seen the owner, a man of fifty years, James Hubbard by name, commonly called " The Deacon," sitting in his easy chair in front of the old-fashioned fireplace. Asw he sat with his eyes fixed on the glowing coals, his lips firmly com pressed, and an expression of pain on his face, his thoughts were full of suffering, for he was living over again in memoir another Thanksgiving eve, when all hearts should have been calm and happy, but, instead, his had passed though a time of such intense misery and suffering that it was agony to re call it. Three years ago to-night! How vividly it all came back to him nbw. There rose up before his memory the outlines of a fair, sweet face, framed in brown curls, and a pair of bright brown eyes looked into his with a steady, burning gaze, full of such wistful pleading that they made his heart ache. Pretty Madge Hubbar£, with her glorious voice and penchant for the stage, had first incurred her father's displeasure, while visiting a friend in the city, by taking part in some private theatricals unknown to him. When he was informed by one of his brother deacon's of his daughter's im prudence he was furious, ai)d said a great many things that should have re mained unsaid. He forbid his daugh ter to ever sing again in public; if she Persisted in doing so he would disown er, and never willingly look upon her face again. Madge was nineteen, and possessed, to a certain degree, her father's quiek temper; so, without an instant's hesita tion, she replied that she waB fully de termined to make a name for herself, and would leave home at once if her father so desired. There was an instant's pause, durihg which her father's face grew stern and hard, and not a feature softened as he looked his beautiful daughter full in the face, while his voice trembled with passion as he uttered but one word, "Go!" Then turning, he left the room and the house. When Madge thought of her mother her eyes filled -with tears, and she al most decided to follow her father, im plore his forgiveness, and give up her wild longing for a professional life. The next instant she shut her lips firmly together in a straight little lilie, and shook her brown curls until they danced about her head in pretty con fusion. No! she would remain firm; her fa ther was unreasonable, and she would not alter her determination. To-morrow was Thanksgiving ]}ay, and what a delightful time she had an ticipated, but by to-morrow she would be far away from the dear old home. Just then her mother entered the room, and Madge told her all that had passed between her father and herself. "Do not try to prevent my goijlg, mother dear," she said, in her pretty, coaxing way; "my heart longs for mu sic, and some day you--yes, and father^ too--shall be proud of my one greaP gift, my voice." Silently her mother folded her in har arms and commended her to her Heav enly Father. She realized that words were useless--Madge .was determined. "Some day, perhaps, he will be sorry and ask me to return, then I will glad ly do so; until then, dear mother, trust me and do not worry. I will go direct ly to my friend, Madame Sevelo, the great singer; she has promised so many times to cultivate my vo^ce, free, if I will make my appearance in public only under her directions, and 1 shall gladly consent to do so. She is a pure, good woman, mother, and you can safely trust me under her care." After Madge had gone, things went on pretty much the same at the old farm-house, and now three years had slipped away, and James Hubbard had not relented and sent for his only child to return, as many supposed he would. He had remained firm, and outwardly appeared never to think of her, or miss her bright presence. He had forbid den his wife to even mention her name in his hearing. She was to him as one dead. He was thinking Of all this as l^e sat before the warm fire this chilly Novem ber night; the old-fashioned cuckoo clock on the mantel above his head kept up a constant ticking, and the-fire blazed up cheerily in the open fire place, yet the room seemed gloomy, and James Hubbard had just made up his mind that he would go into the kitchen and seek his wife, when all of a sudden there sonnded through the stillness of the night a cry, clear and shrill, like tha wail of an infant. The Deacon was on his feet in an in stant. "Hannah," he called to his wife, "did you hear that?" "Yes, I did, James," replied Mrs. Hubbard, in trembling tones; "it sounded like the cry of a child What can it mean?" Deacon Hubbard opened the door, and stepped out onto the broad piazza.' As he did so his foot struck against a basket, and this tinTe the cry of a child was unmistakable.' Lifting tHe basket, he returned to the kitchen and depos ited it on th& table; then went once more out into t*he night. There were footprints in the snow which led up to the house, and other steps that led away from it; still, al though he searched through the new sat his wiftt, ft&tt on Xta bxighl br*wrf %yelf wide open, m th*;D6*Wftppr*tohed it held £atoe«rhow Ulee--V ' l^d^t* ftiii of tears, bat j*h» did not ftwh her sentence; for atter one $Hm<H» *t that baby face he had faHentato a chair and 'covered his face with his hands. "Oh, God I" he cried; "'what trouble is tliie ooaae upon us?": Suddenly he ltftrted to his feet, and lifting the blanket that still lay in the basket, .he shook it lightly,/ and some thing droppedon-the floor at his feet. A letter, aadi*-yes, thank God!--a marriage certificate. With trembling hands he opened it and read it through. "Married--Madge Ray Hubbard to Guy Elmore Norwood," and dated two years before, one year after Madge left home. Then she was not disgraced, and the baby was entitled to a name. Tenderly he opened the letter and read aloud: DEAB MOTHER--I leave you my baby, my darling little Stetta, and hope you Will love *.01' .™y ®ake. One yoar from this 1 hanksfrfving night I will return, for I hope to be able to oare for her then. I shall pray night and day that father will prow, to love my child, and tor ftvaafce forgive the mother, who has bitterly regretted the step sl>e took in leaving home. If lather ean forgive me, plaee a bright^ light in the window next Thanksgiving JSve. and I shall indeed have sau.so to be thankful. If alive and able, I shall surely retumone year from to-night Uod bless you both, MADGE HUBBARD Nofiwoon. . James Hnbbard did not speak as he finished reading the letter, but hia eyes were dim with tears, little accus tomed to such visitions, and he bent his gray head, and left a kiss on the baby's wee, dimpled fingers, then hastily left the roi>m. Tears of joy flowed from Mrs. Hub bard's eyes as she pressed her little grandchild close to her motherlv breast, and murmured $ prayer of thankful ness. # , Slowly the days lengthened into weeks, and the weeks into months, and it became very evident to all who knew the Deacon that he was much worried about something; but whatever this "something" was, he kept it strictly to himself and never revealed it to a liv ing soul. October came and went, and Novem ber made its appearance amid a slight flurry of snow. One night, after Baby Stella had been safely tucked away in her little bed, James Hubbard called his wife to him and told her all. The blow, which seemed to her so sudden, had been im pending for months, and now the crash must come--it was inevitable. The old home was. heavily mortgaged and would have to go; he had done his best to meet the debts pressing so closely upon him, but now he knew, without a doubt, that there was no longer a chance for redemption, and when" the year dawned upon them they would be homeless. Mrs. Hubbard bore up wonderfully well under this new trial, and did all in her power'to Console her husband, help him to bear the burden, and grow accustomed, to the great change that .must so soon take place in their lives. At least we will, not leave the dear old; home until after Thanksgiving, James; we must be thankful for that." "Yes, wife, you are right); we will be thankful for that." Once again it was Thanksgiving Eve. Little two-year-old Stella nestled in her grandmother's lap asleep, her soft, fair hair tossing about her rosy face, the drowsy lashes resting quietly upon her dimpled cheeks. Thus she slept and dreamed, all unconscious that something was about to happen which would change the whole current of her life. Meanwhile the night crept on. Far out in a purple Imnk of western clouds peeped forth the broken ring of the young moon. The curtains to the wide window were up, and a bright light streamed its glad welcome out into the darkness beyond. Thus the hours passed slowlv away, and not a sound broke the stillness of the room where James Hubbard and his wife sat anxiously waiting. Onoe he walked to the window and looked eagerly out. In the low west a pale ring of fire marked the mourn ful sinking of the moon, aud one b.Y one the stars were slowly disappear ing. It' was close upon midnight, and silence brooded over all. Scarcely had he returned to his seat by the cheerful blaze of the fire, when lasso, the faithful old watch-dog, gave, a loud bark, and, springing from his place on the piazza, disappeared with full speed down tho road. Stepping to the door, James Hub bard could plainly hear the sound of wheels in the distance, and presently there dashed into view a double car riage, drawn by a pair of large black horses, which the colored driver drew up, with a grand flourish, close to the steps. The door opened, and a gentle man stepped out and carefully assisted a lady to do the same. The 'next in stant Madge was in her father's arms. We must pass over the nest few min utes, and imagine the fond greeting between the parents and their long- absent child; also the joy that filled the young mother's heart as she clasped the bewildered little Stella in her lov ing arms. • Then followed Madge's story, and as she proudly introduced her htfsband, she told of her first and last appear ance in public, how her husband had seen her and made up his mind to win her, and what an easy task he had found it, for it was without doubt a case, of love at .first sight, for both of them. Then followed a happy year of wedded bliss and the birth of their little daughtar. Next her husband was taken ill, and, advised by the phy sician to' travel for a year, and having abundant means at their command, they decided to do so. Not liking to take so young a child with them, they made up their minds to leave her .with her grandparents, trusting that she would win forgiveness for hejc mother's willfulness. What ^blessed Thaujcsgiving it was for them all. Madge was oncd more the pride of h$? father's hearty 'while the 'dear old home wiaa save# and elearod from debt. Truly they all had much to be thankful for. k" i f.^ i.I ' r- f --'--; 1 She Quit-Abent Eren||^ Jawkins--"Beefsteak and potatoes agnin. Buh! I wish I had one of the good dinners my dear old mother used to ma," only the unbroken Hilcnc© of tn6 tiiffht 1 good cliieckji vour ditt dU t* answered him. vain he listened, |givehnr-Judge: To say that he comprehends Hie ltod- erfl power In all its immemdty, in all its ramificatiohs, in all it* far-reaohing ef fects, is to pay him a compliment at the expense of met. To know the reality, to know how far it is aotually working out the purjwse for which it was estab lished, and how far it has swerved from its true coarse, he must know more than Constitutional principles; he must know the laws, the agencies created by those laws, what those agents are doing, and the methods which they employ. His knowledge, at the best, is but a smattering to him, after all, the Govern ment is little els6 than a conjecture, a fancy--an airv, intangible, invisible theory. This is blunt speech. For there are tens of thousands of citizens who have very clear and correct notions" alxrat what the Government is, and about what it ought.to be. The "average American" is, to be sure, an indefinite sort of person, and lie is apt to think and know more about public affairs than ho shows. But there is one class of Americans to which he does not be long--Americans who, unfortunately, do take what they all a "practical view" of things. They know the Blue Book betier than they know the Constitution; they look upon the Government simply as a great collection of offices; they know the salary attached to every office; and their highest and only ambition, as citizens, is to secure the best paying offices for themselves. The American with his "theory" and imperfect knowl edge is so far anead of this type of "en lightenment" as to put comparison out of all question. The American who glories in the majesty of the Republic, and who values his own freedom, cannot afford to dream;. the duty he owes to the commonwealth, to society, and to himself, he can not, with honor or safety, ignore. The true grandeur of our government depends ppon the justice of its laws; those laws depend upon the virtue, the patriotism, and the wisdom of the people. The fight for independence did not end with the Treaty of Peace; nor did the adoption of the Constitution settle forever all questions of civil liberty and govern ment. Dangers have appeared in the past; dangers menaoe us to-day; dan gers will yet arise. They may come from the direction of the Government; or they may come from society, as evils for the Government to meet. The subject of government is a pro found and momentous one, yet it is not wholly beyond the grasp of the young. It would be an error for parents or teachers to withhold it from you as a matter reserved for older minds. You cannot be too much impressed by a consciousness of its gravity; you can not take too broad a view of national destiny and of your rights and duties as younger citizens; you cannot study these things too soon. You are not expected to plunge at once into the depths of "political scienceyou need not vex your early wits over abstruse "economic" puzzles. With time and experience will come ability to handle disputed problems, and to follow the drift of national policy and pywer. At the start, the mask of mystery should be lifted off; the reality of government should stand before your thoughts. -- Edmund Alton, i?h,~ 8L Nicholas. . Remember Orders. If young men who are desirous of succeeding in life would only devpte the strictest attention to orders while they are being given, they would get alon g much faster. Nothing is more discouraging to one in command than to be called upon to repeat while engaged upon duties for eign to the subject, an order which had been given at a time when one's whole energy was devoted to the subject of the order. It is at times impossible to go back, in the hurry of the moment, and recall all that bears upon the subject, and serious errors, principally omissions, are often made in such cases. We strongly recommend all young men who are hoping for future success to make it as much a part of their education as they do the possession of abstract knowl edge, to remember exactly and verbatim all orders given them; because success n responsible places is otherwise simply mpossible.--Railway Review. How to Cook Husbands. Miss Corson said in the Baltimore cooking school that a Baltimore lady had written a receipt for "cooking hus bands, so as to make them tender and good." It is as follows: "** "Make a clear, steady fire out of love, neatness, and cheerfulness. Set him as near ^his as seems to agree with him. If he sputters and fizzes do not be anx ious ; some husbands do this until they are quite done. Add a little sugar in the form of what tbe confectioners call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on any account. Do not stick any sharp in strument into him to see if he is becom ing tender. Stir him gently; watch the while, lest he lie too flat and close to the kettle and become useless. You cannot fail to know when he is done. If thus treated, you will find him diges tible, agreeing nicely with you and the children, and he will keep as long as you want, unless you become careless and set him in too cold a place." A Strong Point. "This is scandalous" said Mrs. Lush- ley as she ushered her spouse into the hall very early in the morning. "Yon must have been making a nice exhibi tion of yourself down town." "I was perfectly--(hie) shober, or derly, an' dignified, all er time," re plied Mr. L. assuming an injured look that almost threw him off his balance. "That is nonsense," taid his wife positively, "just a moment ago while I was looking out of the upstairs window, I saw you trying to unlock the front door with a tootli-pick." "Posh'bly. Posh'bly; But you (luc) bessher life I knew too mush to pick my teeth wissher door-key (hie,) didn't L"--Merchant Traveler. He Told It to Hi* Wife. Tom--Dick, what word can be made shorter by adding two letters? Dick--I give it up. Tom--Why 'short' of course. Dick--That's pretty good. I'll spring that on my wife as soon as I get home. I bet I'll catch her. (At home). Dick--My dear, what word ean be made longer by adding two letters? Wife--Why, any word. What a fool ish question. Do yon think I'm an im becile ? Hello, where are you going ? Dick--I'm going to hunt up the fel low that introduced that joke to me. ^There's something wrong somewhere. A "CHRISTIAN Temperance Common wealth" has obtained a location for a colony is British Columbia. Its pro moters contract, in return for the labor 01 faTniltca' 49 *»• < The pranks, the tkm plays with the lttunan raoe are in numerable. What alluring visions, what smbHJbus dreams, anyhow tran- soendent the joys she pictures! Jones leaves his wife in the morning feeling vigorous and strong. During the afternoon he encounters his Brown. "What aQs yon, old fellow?" ex claimed the latter. "You're looking ill. Overwork, I guess." At night Jones goes home with alow, inert steps and his countenanoe shad owed by a would-be-sick expression. "I'm not well," he says, bitterly, to his wondering wife. "It's overwork. I've felt it coming on for weeks." Verily, Brown has startled the susceptible mind, and Jones soon imagines his health seriously impaired. But after his iEsculapian adviser has treated him to a course of tasteless white drops and suggestive-looking pills Jones' good health returns, and he is satisfied with Brown, physician, and himself. Truly, imagination and water-and-bread pills yield a powerful sway. Thus- often a thoughtless word hastily Bpoken crowds the imaginative brain with thousands of fancies. Friends and lovers are frequently estranged by an imagined wrong; sensitive people hurt by an imagined slight; conscious BOUIS raised to a seventh heaven of de light by imagined greatness, and even delicate stomachs turned and dainty appetites destroyed by the same prompter. A former Boston lady, and her husband once experienced the latter sensation at a Texas marriage feast, which occurred in one of the most re mote parts of that State. A few days before the wedding the bride-elect called the Boston lady, who was their nearest neighbor, to assist in making the cakes. Now, an important and most ornamental part of cakes is that tooth some mixture of eggs, sugar, and flavor ing called icing, and most difficult in inexperienced hands to put on in artis tically smooth style. With no conveni ences the Boston lady and the bride weie in a dilemma, when suddenly the latter rushed out of the kitchen and in a few moments returned exultantly waving a well-worn, individualized shaving brush, quite stiff with a dried lather of strong yellow soap. "There," cried the dumpling-faced maiden, playfully. "This will do the work just too lovely for anything. The Boston lady gave a gasp, but the future bride was soaking the brush in hot water, and did not see her dismay. "Being George's, it will be so appro priate, you know," she chatted iu bliss ful unconsciousness. George was the prospective husband, and his shaving brush was used to ad vantage so far as the smoothness of the icing was concerned. But the Boston lady and her husband, although present at the feast, failed to enjoy their supper. Imagination flavored the edibles, with soap and decorated them with the shorn hirsute fragments of the groom's tmburn beard. Not so to the newly wedded. The just-made husband whispered to his bride: "No one else could have thought of such a thing but my little tootsy-wootsy. Let's patent it, and in imagination they saw golden dollars swelling their pocket-book--all from tootsy-wootsy's patent.--New York Mer cury. Tbe Foolish ttirl Lest Her Eyes. About a year ago one of the most lovely girls in the State lived at 40 Orange avenue, in this city. A pair of large, liquid blue eyes set off a face that •would put any picture to shame, and her form was simply perfect. The young lady was highly educated and possessed-all the qualities that go to make up a society belle. , Her parents are well-to-do and she has wanted for nothing since she was old enough to prattle. But she had one fault and that fault has proved her undoing. It is called vanity. She fairly worshiped her own eyes and did everything in her power to make them more beautiful than they were. She used numerous drugs before she found what she wanted. This last drug made her eyes sparkle like diamonds, and she used it to such an extent that her right eye began to shrivel. This brought her to her senses and the family physician was called in. But he came too late, and informed the poor girl that she must lose one of her eyes sure, and probably both. The right eye was taken out some time ago, and sire has lost all sight in the left and will be blind for life. It is one of the saddest cases that were ever brought to light in this city.--Los Angela Tribune. Originality's Patron. A woman entered the office or a large wholesale house and, addressing a man whom she found seated at a desk, stud: "My kind sir, I am forced to solicit assistance. I am a widow, have lost my situation and have, dependent on me--" "A large family," suggested the man as he turned and looked at the woman. "No, sir, only one child." "What!" the man exclaimed, almost springing from his chair. "I have only one child," the women repeated. ' "Is it possible," said the man, speak ing with an emphasis of doubt,! "that you have not a large family?" "I have stated the truth, sir." "Come, now; haven't you really as many as six children?" "I tell you that I have only one. Why do you doubt my word?" "Because you are so original. Every other woman who has ever appealed to me for charity has had at least five children to support. Madam, you ap peal to me deeplv. I am known as the patron of originality. Be seated please, and I will write you a check. - -Ar kansas Traveler. • Almost in the Profession. Small Boy (at theater door)--Do ye admit the profesh to dis show fer noiliin'? Doorkeeper--What profesh, Johnny? "Wy, de teatrical profesh, of course." "Well, yes, sometimes. Are you a member?" . "No, not izzacly; but my slater Jennie she's one of de " Queens of Beauty" in de gum chewing contest at dediiue mu seum.--Terre Haute Express. A STRIKING improvement in clocks was exhibited and described to the British Association for the Advance ment of Science by Mr. W. H. Doug lass. The new feature consists in the use of a torsion, pendulum, which, with lever and escapement, may be applied to ordinary works, and by its slow rate of vibration makes it practicable to con vert an eight-day clock into one requir ing winding only once a year. VISCOTTNT VANBBOOK, one of the old est members of the British Peerage, prides on never having read a noveL A MAN may be called deueedly olevee when he is to much m.--DuitUK Para* ^ grapher. % | A NEW preparation to keep the handi' /VI-I w h i t e a n d s o f t i s c a l l e d " a n t i - c h a p . " I t y ? ' will never prove popular wit̂ the ladies. --Albany Journal. »• , A YACHT containing a party of lawyer* was recently capsized among a school or sharks. Total deaths, four lawyers* seven sharks.--Epotfi. ' "MR. SAIXOR, don't yon get awfully , 1 tired of steering your vessel day aftefc^s-4 day?" "Oh, no, madam. I'd ruddet ,*;i it than knot."--Danville Breeze. < "HAVE you a war record?" was aske# of an applicant for office. "Oh,-no,* ( was the innocent reply. "I wasn t̂ mar- ? ried until 1867,"--Washington Critic. \ YOUNG man, ere you decide, that the M majority of feminine acquaintances have * ;>s,| small feet remember that it's only the' small ones you get to see.--Terre HauU , , • , Express. • 'v ^ THERE is only one sue way to stop k ' $ small boy from asking questions, and that way is not satisfactory if you have. , | any further use for the 'boy.--Journal • -1 of Education. ' s VISITOR (while waiting for hostess)-- ' 'M And is your mamma still in mourning " ; for your poor papa, Flossie? Flossie-!Ifvj Yes, ma'am; she is when she goes any* £ ' where.--Epoch. J IT is said that Mark Twain has not perpetrated a joke since he was made aa M. A. This is a degree that should be ^ much more generally distributed thfti * ,j it is.--Chicago.Herald. • " 'vj SENSER--I haven't seen any of you* , poetry lately. Zounds--No. I've quil •' writing. Senser--Upon whom has you* , mantle fallen? Zounds--The pawn- \ broker.--Loivell Citizen. ' IT is a happy definition which says: -g "A polite man is one who listens with interest to things he knows all about^ • * | when they are told by a person who > knows nothing about them. PREPARED FOR THK DULL BTTN? MORNING, IF --Inskip (who is going out to see the '•' j elephant)--Are you all ready, Tom! Bigbee--Yes; I've even got the $10 fine in my inside pocket.-- Puck. CITIZEN (to lawyer)--I want you to get me a pension. Lawyer--Yes, sfr* Where were you wounded ? Citizen-- . O! I wasn't wounded; but my substi* < tute was killed.--New York Sun. % • WIFE--My dear, the pew rent is due. , *i to-day. Husbancb--Well, I can't at* - ' tend to that until I settle with my friend Blifkins. I owe him $100 on a horse race, and debts of honor should be pai<| : first, you know.--Philadelphia Record* I ^ AN England street 0-year-old miseL. who has thus early evidently grown tired of working hard to be good, ended hef * little prayer thus the other nights!- "Please, God, make me agood girl with out my helping '"--St. Albcfns Messend ger. } MRS. JASON--Mr. Jason, you were drinking last night Don't try to deny it. Mr. Jason--Yep. "Well, I should - think you'd want to go somewhere and " , hide your diminished head." "ItJhasn't > begun to diminish yet."--Terre Uautt, ., Gazette. LITTLE Flo Senborn, upon being cen- snred by her mother for some small , mischief she had been engaged in, sat _4 •• "thinking it over" for sometime and finally said in a complaining tone: „ "Everything I do is laid to me."-- Lowell Mail. : t MORMON suitor (who has just been accepted)--And now can I s^ your-- your . Young lady (sH^ly)--My father, Mr. Brigham? Mormon suitog -^~N--no; your sister, darling; and then 1 can see your father about you both.-- New York Sun. < MOTHER--Johnny, you mustn't play with Willie Hill any more. Johnny- Why not, mamma? Mother--Be cause he is a bad little boy. Johnny --Well, mamma, I ain't so doggone goo4„. myself that you ought to be kiekin'.--> > , ̂ Washington Critic. t THREE of the admirers of a pretty ' Burlington girl called on her the same - ^ evening, and as she answered the bell , in person for the fourth call she took the opportunity of hanging a placard on * *-"• the door-bell: "This is my busy night/ --Burlington Free Press. b FREEMAN--Don't you think this doe- trine of infant damnation a horrible 1 one? Sours (slowly)--Well, I don't know. I used to think that way, but -"1st since the Howler family and their new baby moved next door to me I am kind - •' foi wavering, kind of wavering.--Low* * f ill Citizen.> \;j; I "FOND of music, Mr. Thorobase?" ^Passionately; music is life to me; it it rest and food and sleep; I hunger fo* it. I haven't heard a concert for nearly three months." "Why, that's singular/ when you are so fond of musie; what M the reason?" "Why, there isn't a con* cert garden anywhore in our neighbor* M:im hood where you can get a glass of beer.* --Burdettc. PRACTICE VS. PREACHING. Anita had two lovers brave, One, a physician skillful-- The other labored souls to save. And to please this maiden wilful, The doctor patients had by aoore. For big fees daily reaching-- But the parson pleawod Anita more s* 1 By his soft and tendor teaching, j Though to decide.it grieved her sore>-« 'Twas practice versus preaohing. And though the parson urged and-pmgrei| Why longer should nho tarrjr? " * ' • • The wealthier doctor, long delayed, j Got her consent to marry. li": ,ii Then to the minister the matt m Explained her true positiiWK- "111 let you marry me" slip slrid, "That 'is, to the physician." 'fv; ' ^ f i * 1 * *• Hot a Bad Tost of Faith. ̂f A plumber and an uphols&ref %Cr^ , ^ recently engaged in fitting up a fashion- able residence in Van Ness avenue, and x: got into a discussion as to which was the heavier, a pound of lead or feathers. ' . 4 "I'll bet you four bits that I can prov$ to you that a pound of lead is heavier / t h a n a p o u n d o f f e a t h e r s , " s a i d t h e : 1 plumber. ' % "I'll take that bet," said the uphol- sterer. ' The plumber out off a piece of lead ' pipe and pared it down until it weighed sixteen ounces. Then he got from the upholsterer the same weight in feath ers. "Now," said the plumber, holding the lump of lead in his right hand and the bag of feathers in his left hand, let me drop the lead on your* left foot and the ? I feathers on your right, and if I do not ; : prove that the lead is the heavier I'll pay four bits." The man of feathers would not con* sent to the trial, but paid for the whisky and cigars.--San Francisco Wasp. "THOSE stockings are all wool, I pre sume," she said, as she requested the ^ clerk to wrap her tip a half-dozen pairs.: "O, yes, miss," he answered in thought*'; lessness, they're all wool and a yard: wide." "Sir!" she exclaimed indig nantly, and before he fully realized what he had said she whisked ot dun.---Washington Critic,' '*1