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t" t ij'fiti. yeat6T^«CW l)nDa« l«^Win«lj entered the Woerfbridge 8fcn*tSt«tion. "Mart* I likeio talk roit yon aleedle." •'"We30L*g»«3b«ftd. I suppose yon are /' in trouble again?" vhea Bheorge Washington "Of eoorae he ia." a long tunef "Agree* many years. \VheU, do^pleases me. I vhao afraid I make A mistake un«l haf to go to shail. A black men. comes in my place der |i onder day und likes ine to gif Mm two shillings for a colored slmrcU. He says his name*has Bbeor^e Washington. I K belief Sheorge Washiugton vlias dead, vnd I gif dbt man soooh a kick dot he flies twenty feet." "Yon did? Why, he was probably '.,5? named George Washington. I know ' .of several colored men by that name." "Bttfc Sheorge Washington vhas dead! Rile vhae dead he can't be aliveT "Cant there lie two men by the san&e tuiine? Don't you know two dr more men by the natre of Schmidt?" "By Sheoj-ge! but I cloan't think of £ dO?r , • ;* "Youll probably be arrested on a war- rant some time to-day, and I shan't feel i a bif sorry for you. Has anything else happened?" "Vha» Shakspeare dead?" „• ; ' "*t should remark '* -s, i , '• "He vhas dead a good while f ( • • .A.- *%res; along time." || "Dot pleases me, Vhen yon oxplain t about Washington, I vhas afraid Bhaks- ( peftre vhas alive. A yonng man comes V in my place und says, vhas I Carl Dun- \ der? I vhas. VeU, Mr. Dnnder, I j like to sell you a book py Bliakspeare. _ Here he vhas, und I sell him aheap. •( ( Sorgwuit, uujiuuy must take me for a \fooir \ "No" 7 "If Shakspeare VM dead how oan he [write some books? It vas a Bhwindle \on me, und I take dot young man und I almost preak him in two." | "Then you'll probably have a second ? warrant to look out for. The young man 1 was a book agent and all "right." "But you said Shakspeare vhas dead." "So he is. The men who wrote the Bible are deed, but the Bible keeps right on, doesn't it? These are the books Shakspeare wrote when he was living." "Vhas dot eo? Wjiy doan' lie oxplain it to me?" "The judge will explain'it! Any­ thing else?" "A.man comes in my place und says he likes to Bell me some strips of weather. Vhas I a fool? Doan' I haf all der weather I vhant mitout pay? Doan' I get some cold und hot und rain und shnow like onder peoples? Ser­ geant, I doan' like to haf some one make fan of me, und I knock dot chap oaler two tables." "Weil, yon 11 p4y a fine in the police court for it" "You doan' say!" i ^ ' "Yes, I do! The TfiftTi wanted to fur- * zush you weather strips, didn't he ?" "By golly! I believe he vhas weather •trips." "They are put on doors and windows to keep out the oold. Youll hear from him." "But why doan' he oxplain to me? How do I know dere vhas a deeferenoe between weather strips and stripe of weather?" "The judge will explain." "Sergeant, look at me! I nefer see aooch a country! One day I gif some- pody five dollar und vhas all wrong. Der next day I knock shust sooch a man oafer two tables und vhas arrested. Nopody vhas two times alike. If I doan' knock somepody I vhas an old greenhorn.' If I do knock him I must go no it der polioecourt." "Well?" "Vhell, dot vhas all, except dot I go home und go to bed und tell Shake und der oldt womans to run der peesness. It vhas all too mixed oop for me. I vhas no good. Good-bye, und if I doan' see you some more I like you to visit my gravestone some time und weep a lee- ale. "--Delroif Free Press. •W. C. Brownell, in Scrib : • Browne Body," The tune of "John Brown's Body' had its origin before the words that art now knowti or remembered in eonnec tion wiUt it It was Rung before th< war of the rebellion, as long ago, a' least, as 1856, to words which do no now remain in use, at certain New En gland camp meetings and revival ser vices. Two members of the Boston militii company called the "Tigers," happening to be at a camp meeting in a small towr in New Hampshire, heard the wing sunj to religious words and remembered tli< air. The name of one of these men was Purington, and of the other Johr Brown. Not long after this the war broke oui and the "Tigers" were made a part oi the Twelfth Massachusetts regiment o; volunteers, which rendezvoused at Fori Warren, in Boston harlwr. Here th< two men already named, Purington ant Brown, formed, with two others namec Eagerly and Greenleaf, a quartet, am the quartet t-aug, among its other sngn, ivll sorts of word-f of Iheir own "getting up" to this tune. John Brown was a good-naturec Scotchman, and the members of thi quartet say they sang " John Brown this and John Brown that" to the tune until, by an almost unconsious change the hero of them was changed from John Brown, of the "Tigers." to Johr; Brown of Harper's Ferry, and the grand and simple verse came into existence: John Broan'B body lies a-mouldering in thj ground, But hits soul is inarching on." Before this time the masses of th< North had not been in exact sympathy with the purposes of John Brown, bu) the excitement of the early days of the war called out a sentiment which these words exactly fitted. Whenever the soldier quartet were in Boston tliej were called upon to sing this song. The Twelfth regiment took lit up. Samuel C. Perkins, of Broekton, a member oi Maitland's band, which was stationed \tfith the regiment at Fort Warren wrote down the air, while a soldiei whistled it. Then the band played it eirery day. - When Edward Everett formally pre­ sented the set of colors of the Twelffl regiment on the Boston Common, the speech of acceptance being made by Colonel Fletcher Webster of the regi­ ment, the tune was played, and the mul­ titude fairly went wild over it. The band played the tune going up State street in June, 1861, and the soldiert sang it as they marched along. The crowd along the sidewalk took op the air and joined in the chorus. "Glory, glory, hallelujah. His Boul is marching on!" Soon after the regiment sang it ir inarching through New York on the waj to Baltimore, with the same effect- I' spread at onde through the army and throughout the country, and became the anthem of the ijjkion.--Touth't Companion» • Easily Won. • ( Nothingkis more embarrassing to its possessor than a reputation which he nas not deserved. A laurel wreath awarded by chance becomes absurdly heavy, and the unfortunate wearer, p though he may long to toss it into the ' nearest thicket, is usually unable to tug it from his brows. When the late Prof. ^ Moses Stuart Phelps was a student at 0: New Haven,he one morning took a walk v . with Prof. Newton, who lived in the "world of mathematics. *it " Prof. Newton, according to his usual . M. habit began the discussion of an ab- l, struse problem. As he went deeper /\ rl Mr. Phelp'n mind wandered farther and / j \ fartlier from what was being said. At I*' (>last liia attention was recalled by his Companions remark, "which, you pee, Wives us 'x.'* i Y "Does it?" asked Mr. Phelps, think- . ing that, in common politeness, he ? >ught to say something. v , "Why, doesn't it?" excitedly ex- '• riUmed the professor, alarmed at the S jDssibility that a flaw had been detected k his calculations. Quickly his mind m back over his work. There had in- aed been a mistake.' Ife? i "Yon are right, Mr. Phelps; you are {right!" he shouted. "It doesnS give us .•Tt;' it gives us. 'y.'" ) Front that time on he looked upon Mr. Pheljm as a mathematical prodigy. He was the first man who had ever caught the professor napping. "And so," Mr. Phelps used often to add, in telling the story, "I achieved a reputation for knowing a thing I hate.. It's the way many reput&$oa* ' are madein thi* superficial world.".* Women's Figures in France. In any assemblage of Frenchwomen ' from a ball in the Faubourg St. Ger­ main to a hal de V Opera the number of admirable figures is very striking; the face may be positively common, but the figure is nearly sure to be superb. The wasp-waist so much affected across the channel is apparently confined to fashion-plates designed for exportation. The unwisdom of tight-lacing is evi­ dently not more perfectly appreciated than its unsightliness. though the rela­ tions of hygiene to beauty are thor­ oughly understood. With" this excel­ lence of figure generally goes a corres­ ponding excellence of carriage; in this respect the skill with which the Louis Quinze hee! is circumvented is beyond praise. And with regard to the tact and taste displayed in the garb whieh decorates thin figure and carriage the world is, I suppose, as well agreed now as in the time when the Empress set its fashions for is in a more iuexorable way than the women of the present republic can pretend to. France ii still, if not the only oountry in the world where dress Mastodons In Alaska. That the mastodon was once common in Alaska is certain from the great num­ ber of their skeletons, found in the marshes and clay banks of the Yukor and northern plains; but that this huge pachyderm still exists there in the liv­ ing state has never been deemed likely, or even conjectured, till recently. This conjecture rests on reports by way of the Stick Indians on the White Biver, a tributary of the Yukon. The account is that while hunting on a wooded bottom, a few miles from this river, two Indians came upon a trail, consisting of enormous tracks fully two feet across, and deeply imprinted in the Jhoss and earth strewn along neaT wMct were broken branches of the trees. Following cautiously on these signs, they at length heard the noise of the creature feeding, and presently espied a prodigious animal, as large, they as­ sert, as a white man's house--meaning the trader's one-story store. Its teeth, they declared, were as long as a man's leg, and curved outward, while .its ears were likened to a seal­ skin in size. In color it was repre­ sented to be dark brown. It leaned against a dead tree-stub, and scratched its side, and its body seemed to be cov­ ered with patches of coarse brown hair/ Terrified at the sight of such enormoufe game, the two hunters promptly rei- treated. Other native hunters corroborate this story, with similar accounts of their ex­ periences; accounts which they are re­ luctant to relate for fear of ridicule, or from some superstitious feelings regard the Rio Parana, looking for ducks or AjtfrijHiiAera oa tl>« ;h sattcteftyisstfi have dLraed since Mr. Thogubs Edison startled the world by invefiti&g a machine that steed up sound and reported it at will, it is only within the lost few months that this wonderful invention has been brought to such a degree of perfection as makes it of practical utility to the public at large. Some time has passed since I l»egan to investigate the practicability of this machine, so as to give to the medical world a better and more certain means of teaching, reord- ing, reproducing, and demoustrating the physics! signs or sounds of tl.e nor­ mal as well as of the diseased c^n<Iilitm of flie heart and lungs. At this early stage of my experiments I must say that I predict a great futnre for it, and the opening of a new field for investigation in physical diagnosis and teaching. It is a very extraordinary fact tha*-, while the deepest tone that onr ears are capable of recognizing in one containing sixteen vibrations a second, the phono­ graph will record ten vibrations or less, and can then raise the pi&h until we hear a reproduction from them. Simi­ larly, vibrations abr>ve the highest rate audible to the ear can be recorded on the phonograph and then reproduced by lowering the pitch until we actually hear the record of those inaudible pul­ sations. From what observation I have already practically made I am satisfied that the phonograph has a great future, and has opened up an entire new field of investi­ gation in that line. The method whieh I adopted in making these experimental physical examinations by the phonograph was carried on in the following manner: The phonograph was placed1 on a suitable table before me; a tube in the shape of the deaf conversation tube was then attached to the recording cylinder of the phonograph; the other end was placed on that part of the chest which was to be explored; then the phono­ graph was set in motion before placing the tube in oontact with the chest. In order to register or record upon the wax cylinder that pari of the chest which was intended to be exam­ ined it was found necessary, either be­ fore or directly after examining any part, to register by its anatomical name that part of the chest. This Avas done by speaking into the phonograph, so as to be able, in reproducing, to distin­ guish those physical sounds found in one part from the other. For example, if I intend to examine the supraclavicular region I speak into the phonograph while in motion, before placing the tube on the chest: "Supra­ clavicular region." By so doing these words were directly registered. I now place the tube on that part of the chest and examine slowly and thoroughly. En this way I continued to explore the efttire heart and lungs. It will be found advantageous to allow the cylinder to make a number of revolutions before removing the tube to another part, in order that more than one respiratory heart sound might be registered. 5 This is also to be carried out on ex- amining the heart sounds. When I was finished with my exam­ ination I returned back the reproducer, so as to repeat that which was registered during the examination. The phono­ graph was now set in motion; a direct attached stethoscope was attached to my ears from the phonograph. All the sounds were heard in their varied pitch and tone as they came along, writh per­ fect clearness. The words and sen­ tences that I had spoken into it for the purpose of According the landmarks were all reproduced. With some extra experimenting I was able to apply the use of the phonograph in such a manner as to throw the phys­ ical sounds, which had been previously registered upon one of these wax cylin­ ders, into the auditorium, and thereby teach directly a larger class. It is further possible to construct a physical sign cabinet which has all reg­ istered cylinders representing the dif­ ferent diseases of the lungs and heart. When one wishes to study any* of the sounds of the heart or lungs he can pick out of his cabinet that cylinder which has registered upon it such phys­ ical sounds. Various other uses for which the phonograph is now fully ripe might be mentioned, but I am not ready to give memoranda of these.--Med teal Record. A Huge Huabe Fighting a SeaL I was paddling along in a small casoe on one of the numerous tributaries of Mij an ordinafgr Standard. ing the matter. Women Who Shave. "Did you ever shave a woman?" was the queer question put to an up-town barber by a customer who was being shaved. "Many a time," said the bar­ ber, who Vent ou to tell his experience iu that line of business. There are ladies in town who have quite a mus­ tache, and others who have something like a chin beard, and I have operated on both kinds. I shaved the upper lip of a lady yesterday afternoon to prepai-e her to go out to a party. She keeps down the growth of hair by clipping it, but she wanted to look extra fine on this occasion. Some of them who are troubled as she is pull out the hairs tt few at a time till they get rid of the whole growth, and there is now an elec­ trical way of removing them without pain from any part of the face; but 1 know ladies who get barbers to shave them at times, and others who can shave themselves just like men. I tell yon there are more kinds of folks in this barbarous world than some people know of." Here the knight of the brush shouted "Next."--New York Sun. • Trials of the Waiter Girls. "Cranks," said the girl waiter, "al­ ways blossom out in their full glory when they eat. Some of them nevei know enough to give an order, and five minutes after it is cooking will want me to change it. Of course I can't do it Then there is the young man who is in­ clined to be spooney and indulges in any amount of soft nothings, forgetting that I have not let leap year pass with­ out getting an ironclad engagement,and if my fellow attempts to go back on hit? vows I will make it too warm for him to live. But there is one kind of crank that is the meanest of all--the one who comes in with a friend, and when he sees anything his friend has ordered that pleases him deliberately appro­ priates it. This always creates bad feeling, and the blame falls on me. 1 thought I would get even with one ol this kind the other night, and checked hit& up an extra quarter. But I failed. He traded checks and paid his bill and vent out and his patient friend caught the large sized check."--Buffalo Cou• ri&\ anything worth shooting, when sud­ denly I heard behind me a fearful yell apd a great splashing in the water. A bend in the river pi-evented me from seeing what it was, but, thinking it was some tapirs or carpinchos bathing, I turned my canoe in order to get a shot at them, and saw a huge snake hanging from a tree with his body curled two or three times round an unfortunate seal. The water around them was foaming, and werj- now and then the seal and the/fore part of the snake would disap­ pear below the surface and remain be­ low for several seconds, until in a mo­ ment the snake would twist his body into a sort of cork-screw shape and lift the seal right out of the water, and they would remain swinging in the air, only supported by the snake's tail. At one time I saw the second seal jump clean out of the water to catch hold of the snake, and all three remained in the air, roaring and yelling most fearfully for some time, when suddenly they dropped into the water again, the snake never losing his hold of the tvee. As none of the combatants reemed to be in the least affected by my approach, I put my canoe within some ten or twelve yards' of them, so as to have a good shot at the snake next time they appeared, and 1 . had scarcely laid down my paddle and caught up my gun when they came up again. I aimed right at the snake where he had curled himself round the seal und gave him both barrels. The effect could not have been greater. The snake let go of the tree and fell with the whole length of his body into the water, splashing me ail over, and then the three disappeared. After about a minute both seals came up on the other side of the canoe, looking at me and shaking their heads in the same way as dogs do when they come out of water. They had both white breasts, and I noticed that one of them was bleeding from a wound in the neck, but whether from my shot or from a bite of the snake, I conld not tell. The snake a little later crawled up the "barranca" out of the water, as if nothing was the matter with him, so I gave him one shot more, which made him disappear in the bushes, where I, being alone in the canoe, thought it more prudent not to follow him. He was a very big one, for from the branch to which he had his tail attached down to the water was a distance of some fourteen feet, wad when The aity editor of a leading newspa­ per sends out a reporter^ we wilj as­ sume, by way of illustration, to a poli­ tician, with instructions to1 inquire ftp tp whether or not he has been appointed to some lucrative position. The poli­ tician, with a great air of innocence and modesty, at first disclaims the rumor as a mistake. In the end, ten chances to one, and this time with an air of of­ fended dignity, h$. will deny it indig­ nantly ami in tdto as an invention of "those "lying newspapers," The re­ porter has ho alternative left, .hut, to write up what the politician says, and a week or so the appointment is offi­ cially announced, and the politician smiles at his acumen in keeping the other fellow off . until his hook,* were fixed." " i Again, there is • rumor of a weddiojg, and the reporter goes forth on his mis­ sion, to be met with a prompt denial of it and an ill-tempered protest against the "lying newspapers. He contra­ dicts the rumor on authority, and before the contradiction is cold, lo! an an­ nouncement of the wedding is sent in for publication. A business man ,makes an important transaction of acme kind, more or leas interesting to the public, and the re­ porter "gets on to it" and goes for denial or confirmation. He usually gets a denial in the form of an assertion th$t no such sale is contemplated, and the repori is duly printed. In a day or two the transaction is announced as consum­ mated. In the church a scandal arises and the truth is sought for publication. The truth is not found until it has been al­ most smothered by falsehoods^ Now, after these instances, to put it plainly, who is the liar? In the mass of news ftpm many sources that has to be hurriedly ool- lected and collated for a great newspa­ per, some that is incorrect will almost of necessity find its way now and then into its columns. In really reputable and carefully conducted journals Hij* seldom happens intentionally. So, among the millions of people who fill the mmtxtarious positions of life, some even of those rated as honorable and reliable will occasionally lapse- into untruth, or something so near untruth as not to be distinguishable from it, in their dealings with the press. , It were, therefore, well to declare * truoe between the press and the, publio on these points.-- Washington Post When Silence Fell* As it began to look like rain, the gang knocked off work and the foremen begged a pipeful of tobacco and started in yarning. "I've told you of the trip I made to Borneo as (second mate of the Lydia Greening," said he, "Well, per­ haps I've told you, too, that there was the lady aboard that trip the brig was named for--the old man's niece, poor thing. She was a widow and had been advised to go on a sea voyage to pick up her health. But deceased was always on her mind. Blie'd slip up to the taff- rail at eight bells and stand there watch­ ing the sunset day after day, thinking of him and twisting her wedding-ring round about on her finger. The old man would nod toward her as I came up to take my trick at the wheel, and kind of chew at liis goatee, and every night he said the same thing to me. 'Gideon/ says he, 'blum a woman aboard ship, but I'm glad for onee't I brought Sal.' Till one evening just as the sou'easter began to freshen we , heard a cry, and there was Mrs. Greening sobbing and wringing her hands about like to die. Of course, she'd dropped the ring over* board, and the time we had to get her quiet--well! She wanted us to go bask and dive for it. "Well, sir, the next three days onr port-rail waif under water all the When she moderated we were blown clean out of reckoning. Mrs. Greening kind of crawled up on deck and watched us bending on a new fore-tops'l--old one torn to lint. All at once she called out 't there was a shark following us; she jumped up, her face white as the can­ vas, and what d'you suppose that wo­ man's idea was? That the shark had •Wallowed her husband's ring and oouldn't rest till it was given back. "The old man looked over the rail; there was a shark, sure enough. He ran and got his harpoon; pretty harpooner, he was; nailed him first shot, and we hauled him aboard. In three minutee we had him cut open; and boys, what do you suppose we found?" "The ring!" shouted the gang. "Nothing," said the foreman. --Philth delpkkt Xlme*. s • •'v{ t r-'--• - Taffy Beat Mm. _ ;<*" Dumiey was a little hard up that afternoon and had slipped quietly through the side door, and there, em­ bedded in the darkness at the further end of the bar, congratulated himself that he had not been observed. Just as he was ready to begin business a heavy hand fell upon his shoulder from be­ hind, and the cheery voice of Billy Bo­ hemia rang in his ears : "Why, Dumiey, old bay, is this you? I haven't seen you for a week. How's your health, and hour's everything going? I was asking about you only this morning. I want tp introduce you to two or three friends of mine from the West. Snaky, this is my friend Dumiey, of whom you have heard me speak so often. Whadiuire, old boy, shake hands with Dumiey, the whitest man in the fish business. Spottleboom, if there are two men in all the world who ought to know one another as kin­ dred souls, it's you and Dumiey. . And now, Dumiey, how are you getting on? What's the good word, any way ?" Dumiey (sturdily)--Gents, what axe yon going to have?--New York Sun. old. He haa absolnte powet but ^-777- hunself of a council of nobles. Iwil of a kind disposition, easily ap­ proachable, and is very popular among MMWbjects. I once attended a gtmnd (JMden party given by him, at which roortt than 5,000 guests were present. There were not more than 500 foreign residents in Bangkok, but the most fi®^ori4*e preparations were made for entertainment. English and French, cooks were employed, and European wines flowed like water, the champagne especially being received with great favor by the natives. The King moved about among his" guests with perfect freedom. His crown is worn only on rare occasions, a> it is a very uncomfortable headgear. It is of solid gold, about eighteen inehes high,, and runs to a point. It is thickly stud-" ded with jewels of the largest size and first water, and is of great value. It is so heavy that the monarch is ill at ease while it is upon his head. The King's bedchamber, baths, and other apartments _ are worthy the abode of royalty. His couch is made of rare wood and carved in the most exquisite designs, draped with rare lace fringed with gold; a gold-embroidered spread ooyers the bed; the pillows and bol- sters are also hemmed with Iftce, and above the couch swings a handsome pninba to keep him cool.--Qor. tfan Francisco Chronicle. " The Chill Bitot fllmt sett the naked forasicfcM t>quivwfat is not #»St by th« wealthy valetudinarian indoor*, bat not all ttoe covering that can be piled on his warm b*d, nor all th« fnmac« hsit that anthracite ewi famish, will warm his marrow when chllle fovcr ran* its icy flngen along hi* spinal column. Hoatetter'a Btoma«h Blttcra ia the thing to infuae new warmth into hia chilled and agniah fruu, to remedy the fierce fever and ex­ hausting sweats whifh alternate with the chill. Dumb ague, ague cake, bilious .remittent--in short, every known form of malarial disease-is subjugated by this potent,atkl.at the same time, wholesome and genial medicine. Bilioumesa, constipation, dyspepsia, sick headaches, lost of appetite and steep, kidney trouble, rheumatism, and debility are also remedied by it. Us© it with persistence to affect a thorough ears,- ; ' ... Dogs of Warw:- "The dog corps, long since esiffiusned in the French army, has been recently much increased, so efficient have these little soldiers become. At an early stage of the trials they gave satisfac­ tion as advance posts, scenting or hrar- ing a stranger approaching even in the darkness, and quickly learning the dif­ ference between a friendly and a for­ eign uniform. The latest trick the military dog ha? learned is that of car­ rying dispatches between distant sec­ tions of an army or reliefs or re-en­ forcements presumably advancing through hostile country.--Scientific American. •I have b«en occasionally troubled with ObtighB, and In each case have nse«l Hro*vn*«f IBroatchlal Troeheit, wliicii have never failed, and I must e.iy they are second to nont in the world. "--Felix A. May, Cathier, St Paul, Minn. WHEN second childhood comes a man forgets he is old. THE man who is often before the court is the man who finds life full of trials. it, wears theoranrar, - ̂ to try the sueetfsftii jOrtKHemeoeUed Keiap^s Balsam, whtoh fe Mla oii a positive manut- tse to our*, tkey woSd «Tthe excellent effect after taking the first dose. Pri$e 00c and SUA Triml sit* fret. AtaU Droggtsts'. f Wmlenlri And buys a l . What ohanns can i OnhmrntncsbeoMil Tear Life hi Wk# time by the foreloek ere. that i«ft. hacky cough of .yours ... .. --of where no many Consumptives hairs HM* ceded yon; lose no time, but procure a Bot­ tle of the ratiooal remedy for Lung and Bronchial diseases, Scott you. BY mistake a New Orleans psper mint­ ed a list of coming weddings, unosr the head of "The Sugar Crop." RHEUMATISM NEURALGIA OR KINDLED ILLS and Peatfi «(»#.•--ffi de^em> "•EM&A.Vkcier CO. BAUO. MO. DIAMOND VERA-CURA And. India estioh >OR DYSPEPSIA Ail Stomach TmU«^t4«h as: RMsf In the lleeth sa« OisasreMMe Tasts estisfl, WSWSIISSSM sad TWW Spirit*. MDruttiman* Dmutrt, or mm »jr mail on recmpt (s *oase» >1.00) in stamp#. Samplt tent on reotipt of 2-oenl stamp. THE CHARLES A. VMELER CO.. BafHflwr*. IN Hesrtbuta, UmHiimlsilH I at LA tin WOTM WMTW. rasa. Ttmnii. H* m. TKV* * Co., *•«•«», $5& to M a dar. Samples worth SlifO, jlnw not nnaer the horse's fert. Write Safety Rein-Holder Co.. Hallr, 1.(10 for 4 Cabinet Portraits--Mrs. Langtty, tr«, Fritter, ModjcRkft, and Mary Anderson-- IKA AUENCV. SMS W. JOtli St., New Voik.M.T. IIWK SI|BT.RKISSIB5S53iSESt ttwmndr tatht U7M8. Otamlan I Inns*. •tiAiT'l BesiraaCoLijrax. BnSalo. N. r. nMH-mmmtjgj; ^szisrauL •aS, MomsaAOa mmjssj&sraitsL book ot beautiful colorad patternTe- sicnsTVw. AaKirrs Wmtid, R.IHM8£(!0NX)M»,0, WAMK1), Male an<l Fomale. Artirla used in every family. 'Big Profit* to 'Exclusive territory. Send 25 cents for terms and samples which will brivr in dollars. Knickerbocker NT'K CO., ? M«7>r»y tit,, N. ¥. IfflR, Orktobs find that FMo'n Our* for Consumption not only 1»KEVKNT», but also €l!BE8 Hears#-nee*. ° IL 111 WW iiuu8 always wen tor'poud epers. Correspondents. Clerks, Shorthand I and prepare for Oiling one iOf the thousands ot posi- W* wtoh a few am to A Kadleal Cut Ssr Kpllsptla fits. To the Editor: Please inform your read­ ers that 1 have a positive remedy for the above nnmei) disease which I warrant to oere the worst civso.s. So strong ia my fulth in the virtues of this medicine that I will send free a sample bottle and valuable treatise to any sufferer who will Rive me his P. O. <md Express address. My remedy has euced thousands of hopeless eases. Bu G, AOOT. M. C., 183 Pearl street. New York. A twxix gathering -v> Oat of Stock. Customer--Have you any patent Narth- Pole-Obliterator-fael-savirig gloves, the kind you advertised would turn a house into a bake-oven at a saving ol ninety- f i v e p e r c e n t . o f c o a l ? ; • • r - ' t - t f n v Dealer--No; we're oug, "Have some in soonPf.j 'Y;;4f "Well, no. The fact is, tliehuyers of the first ones complained that they used up twice as much coal as the other kind, and they sent them back. We didn't mind that; but when we heard of a family that froze to death with one of those stoves, we began to feel worried; and afterward, when we commenced finding dynamite bombs on the step, we stopped keeping 'em."--JVe«K York W e e k l y : / . . M - . . I - C IT is a sad fact that too many peop « keep upon the one side, of our chnrchi**, --the outside. They seem to feel most "at home* there.--tfifaucester jldair- tiser. ̂ • lfe Subscribed Cheerfully. Confidential Clerk--Mr. Guzzleton is in, madain; but, as it is within a few minutes of his dinner time, I think it would be a good plan to bring your subscription paper later in the day. lira. Pleadit---O, never fear! I am soliciting money to set up a gravestone over Mrs. Teazem, that noble woman who so distinguished herself by the collections for charitable purposes which she made from our busia«w men. --Puck. ; Catarrh Cure*. A clergyman, after years of suffering from that loathsome disease. Catarrh, and vainly trying every known remedy, at last found a recipe which completely cured and saved him from death. Any sufferer from this dreadful disease sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to Prof. J. A. Lawrence, 80 Warren street. New York City, wilt re­ ceive the recipe free of charge. THERE were 19,912 patents issued last year, and of these but 1,083 were granted to Southerners. Texas led the Southern States, a patent being grant­ ed for every 6,0l)t> Texaus. Florida came next. Mississippi's ratio was one patent for every 25,14(i of her popula­ tion. Alabama, in spite of the reoent great mechanical development of the State, was credited with but fifty-four , inventions in the year. Worth KeinemtwrMf, Tftnt in all cases of croup delays are dan­ gerous. and prompt attention is almost cer­ tain to 8RV0 the life of the child. Hamlin's Wizard Oil is a specific for croup, and will relieve the most severe paroxysm immedi­ ately. Be sure that you keep it. Bold by ail druggists; 00 cents and $1. "FROM a financial point of view, is your profession a success ?" she asked the pianoist. "Well, it ought to be," he replied, "for I have handled thous­ ands of notes and never had one go to protest." ; --Ossuramption la (1M MTT draadad «T 41s- eiues; MAOKK'J BWITUBOM 1MM earwl savaral ense what* physicians prooouaoad the hopeless. nil IrftA*. Ur|Mt HUH- rn l! Mr U». ICMtM* fti SMMt pwlttss. Ha (EMAIL UMRAT ~MO»EJ mvuod'llr VIM, Centennial Manufacturing Co., Cincinnati, Onle. ELY'S CREAM 8*11 IS SURE TO CURE COLD m BEAD QUICKLY. Apply Balm iato aach Tttrfl SLY BROS. M Warren fit. H.T. m Peshsm s Atlki Relief in TOH MIL WM.OLIUHOKM, Gardner, 111., writes: T hare not had to sit n» an hour for tkm vesrs. I hope the mas that invented the gnome may have everlasting life and God'* Messing While he live*." SoIdbyaU drantlate-AddreS: WttJoeTug . T. POPHAMTFHNJ>«J'AIA. Pi.. PENSIONS. Last Winter I was troubled so badly with rheumatism In my right shoulder and joints of ray leg as not to be ahla to wait. I took Hood's SaiaaparUla. and now I don't feel any aches or pains anywlrtn;; and It not only stopped the soreness in my nhonlder and joints, bat makes m« feel as lively as a ten-yearold boy. I sell newspapers right in the middle of the street, and standing on the cold stones ain't no picnic, 1 can tell you. And if Hood's Harsapsrilla rand me it certainly ought to be good tor those people who dont stand on the cold stones. I can be seen every day ia the year at corner Tompkins and IfcK&lb Avenues. W. W. HOWARD, Brooklyn. N. Y. Hood's Sarsaparilla Md by all druggists. $1; six (or *fi. Prepared oa)r IN c. L HOOD & CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, IOO Doses One Dollar We are actively engaged in the prosecution of pen­ sion and other war olaimit, and respectfully solicit correspondence. Klghteen Years' Experience. Col­ lect Officers' Accounts. Horse Claims. increased. Rejected oaSes re-opened. BMaphlst ot Pension Lawdasnt tt--. Ad / C. 8. Oaim Agency, Imllaiiiipolla, DADWAY'Q II pnxs 0 Tti SmtUw ul Stan! Rorif For the cure of all disorders of the STOMACH, LIVER, BOWELS. KID­ NEYS, BLADDER, NERVOUS DIS­ EASES, LOSS of APPETITE, HEAD­ ACHE, CONSTIPATION, COSTIVE- NESS, INDIGESTION. BILIOUS" NESS, FEVER, INFLAMMATION of the BOWELS, PILES, and alt de­ rangements of the Internal Visce­ ra. Purely Vegetable, containing no mercury, minerals, or DELETE­ RIOUS DRUGS. PERFeCT DIGESTION will b« a c c o m p l i s h e d b y t a k i n g R A D * WAY'S PILLS. By so doing Dyspepsia, SICK HEADACHE, FOUL STOM­ ACH, BILIOUSNESS, will be avoid­ ed, and the food that la eaten con­ tribute Its nourishing properties to the support of the natural waste of the body. Price 28c. per box. SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS. mru your •tor'kfsper ia out of th«na, the pr ce to RADWAY * CO., 3» Wi Street* New York Citf. He other proprietary Indorsement ef Phyrfdai* b? extent. Jfene is uE«d i« Hospital praetiee l«ge a psresntage of satufact^ry Ko other remedy hsa eorad so cases ef CONttUMPTIOII mi, ethar Pohneawy. IHillsw. I* entixelf aara^eatad from the It is aa aagy to take H Ul4eB9>ep«r Honey, and eaa be retaissd If tfk«t Meek d«lieate ctoaMtehs witheeft awu - ' ir chitia. l>ya|Mpria, or a •yntem, yen can regain health aflri quickly by the vie ef • tt. Aak yonr Drogglsttor t. A. M1GEE * Ck, $2.50 PER DAY •Mi to W*e«...Wa GONSUM ItoapiSji'i rwi,<) fa lima th«Haads Wsaasaof tie wonSk $%Miits«M wlisaeathie^Miato. HJTMTLIARIEKLIF BREAKFAST. •ndby prirvni 5uSE85®8BflE This Inhalwr consists at awWwreil closing a supply ot pure Jap aneas CE the whole incased iniMttdi DnflesMit removable caps. Catarrh is 4ns ̂ ths pysaisca ̂ •racotn on* or twoslmpla lnhalati show la the catatikil man that.are below the ia made dUBeult. it is neoesssry act only to kill strengthen the meaabraae the electdc force stored u lug the most ers M rn ed by mail on recei eaiXEAft k CO.. Fran TIE NEWSPAPER MMf. ! A NgW VUBUCATIOe. We hay inmnnww)tt>ttMlnMMit nBI KEWSPAPia UBE4BX Thi. ytWitl^l will be prlatad te UM tm» «t fcap >fi» -' knows herctofcraMovrinrMUbtacr.aeA'iCa. ' IM p«bli«h«d bl-moathlr; «wk awe** ^ oontala a eooapiaU aoval, Uecnely ' aad will be yrenated to entry aafe«seHta *§f « the WBSXLT WISCONMN. Tie wed[»«•*» printed will he ortgtaal aad«Msu> aet*l» m* bkngrmphy fre«a the twrfl ttt- : day. This method ef «Waf to irea«i ii at ; the WIBOON8IM a aaaaher of Mail •>••!-- ' dartac the rear will rettere the oetaaaeat the mala paper (w other meMen aUne • appropriatelr wttUa the prafiaae ef a ae«e> paper. 1% haehaewat Uw wrtia at mm ' the leadtae aewspapif ef the aeeelMy pnblteh, treaa week to week. iMgtrteieeti dt a e r i a l a t o r i e e i n t h e e o l e m a e e f M M * •he WISCONSIN haa aot bewte theMhppK- pnbilahlac thla kind et Uteratare; hal la <•--i to meet a popaler dewtwl fer thla ehM» atf ' nadiac. we have detesaUaed mpm th> im licatloa ot a wark each ee we hem abMrtfr deecrtbed. TH« MSWWA»S LlBUSt.ee wa propoaa to pnbHah tt ia the WBUCLY WIBOOmm^ to a Mfd aad haa never to ear knowledfe haea ai taken by aay «tlwr pibUihrn. It ] will cive to the leader* ot the two publications for the pvtoe ef first nnmber of the Newapejar muat'jr. ea» talnine a story entitled *TH* QAMWMOL* translated expressly for the Library from the celebrated Uneaten Taxo. DoBTOWtaxf, wUl be iaaaad the atlddla ot Jaaimry, aad thereafter the latiMIe ot March, May, July. September aad Ncryember-- six numbers. The price of the Newspaper- lilhrary aione will be 50 cents a year, fir W- cents per number. Samples aeat on seeetpt «f'| Acts, postage. • . _ The Newspaper Library will be Mat ras^* to every subscriber of the WEEKLY WISCON--' SIN. regardless of.other premium*. * iimnfitAflmwe <• miwaakae, Wiai s i I prescflbe aad mar ettals4 O.H.IHOBA ei.ee-iwter C. N. U YITHEN WKITLNCJ TO AD ; pleste aay yoa mw the adwto la tku .gaswaaK.'armigjgagg-gg Tgiaiwjsgg*- tton.0atala«aa.«e«ma. ate , seat WUM. Addi«asH.B.eitVAllT*a«JI>i Wa gaaaaieilhad thta ealla-- ta aer reader a. Maatiaathlaeaeari Tb« gentlesnMi oh the left Merenry. lfiitait, wbfcfa ruined hh 4iKtf=4k>ai wrwry, Potedh And 8ar«uarQ|pi . w* BMRnftalHiS' HiHt «o<* ^ auttifist. g'enUeinxa on tne ivbk-h forced out the |>ol*>n md bulls him up SWIFT'S SPECIFIC it entire!) s uedMat* ssdlt ttt ««{Y INEDICINE WBKB HNJI E*VR I-TTRM BIO KI SCRVFOL^ FFTFNIT ^ WT iMTKEfn noim Mia mj MRTL ud SKJ tky lirnaf 4 Corai WAJ*Mornm*L,mc. toBtie^r55ti*lee f "jsi«*t ytiStell11 yooma wta <»• or more ' gboat tt Operate MWacwsia Phmr room ot sssd stonewt ' MM bua Oar etaaea. SaxJleforChS ASK ANY i-"" ••'U NEWSDEALER POSTMASTER for THS CHICAGO tEBOEK, U roe oaaaot dad t» ea sate at i««a Osaet or Bsetoatoe, ate* your aama aad add was npen a imstai card aad gat a sample copy, T11K CUfCAOtt IiWKaWI ta •a- ~ best Family fapar ia the West, and shonld be ia amy intelligent hcw«hold. Addrtee THE CHICAGO LEDGER. ChiUCO. HL TV f- 4r. * fc/ '-4,» '-fpj •*1" r i i i L'J. . SW k .U X-'r. . 3% ilo ., -ii lift1 ̂ ..V