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MILLIONS OF MONET*. '-A>\ T* «U0rty : i nrattr " * I. |Mttna« iJ)} Wig« IUi4UV«,. -4»' , .While e*«ry one -would soon forgive little slight* they might receive, And be omnded never. .is infpehief-makers that ri>m6*e •'ar from our hearts the warmth M lot% JUid l«i<i us all to disapprove o , Whnt gives another pta&auM. *">* *Thev eeem to take one's put, but wheft "Dunno. Some kind of breakJso' oat. | Oo on with the oue.M When it was finally closed Mid tub- mitted, the court offered a few remark* of weight and authority. "The pint is ft diffikilt one to decide," he observed. "Sheep-raisin* in a new kentry like this has got to be projected; 11 OA T «3 ll All mn f Ka (Ml 4^ J3a L" " They'vt heard our carws, unitedly the* f .• **Fhey soon retail them all again, Siixed vrith tlieir poisonotw measu*#, .And then they've such a cunning way <>f telling ill-meant tales; they say: : ^ ""Don't mention what I've said, I pray ; ] would not tell Another !" $trai£ht to vour neighbor's house they go, Sftrratinp everyt hing they know, nd break the peace of high and low, '• Wife, husband, friend, and bitJthar.' anvthin' onjest to the dogs, will decide in ftmr days. *" The court that, the mischief-making crew • - .were all reduced to one or two, '• And they were painted red or Mn®, »• That every one might know themt tf *n would our villagers forget rage and quarrel, fume and fret, ^ fall into an angry pet ' ' With things so much below tlMBfc • p _ tis a sad. degrading putt. ' • 4 .. make enot bar's bosom smart*. < •. • * /V ndjilant a dagger in some hen ft ?•< I - :.*i We ought to love and cherish. «t "5The:k let us ever more be found $&• ?vJln harmony with all around, whil _ e friendship, joy, ond peace M>001l4» And angry feelings perish. MY FIRST CASE. t 8¥ JAMES FKANKLK FTTTS. ; was at' an early day, (wad the lawyer) when this country and myself trere both much younger than they are now. I had come out here with my diploma, and opened a law-office in one of the large villages. Full of zeal and ambition in my profession, I waited patiently for a month before a client Game. When the first one did oome, a notable experience resulted. I am not mure that it laid the foundation of my prosperity; but it filled me with Such amotions as I have never had before in larger and more important cases. The .story is worth telling. <The first client drove up to the build­ ing in which my office was located in a apugless lumber wagon. He got out, doubtfully examined my modest sign, amfl then I heard the emphatic tread of liis great cowhide boots as he came up aAsirs. My office was the front of a large store-room in which mv hum­ ble array of books and stationery «m almost lost. I had observed his ovations outside and with a great throb »f joy devined his errant. So when he entered. I figured to be very busy writing. J can see him now as he came in and «Arode up to my table--coat over his ann, (for the weather -was warm) red fiannel shirt crossed by one suspender, Idue jean trousers tucked into his boots, •Straw hat with a ragged rim, and carry­ ing a long-lashed whip. He looked me over critically before he opened his ••oath. " ^ *Be you the lawyer?" he asked. *1 ana; what can I do few you?" L • My assumed professional dignity aid Bat seem to make much impression on trim. He sat down on my other chair, tilted it on its back legs, and continued Sus inspection. "Been in the law-business long?" •if *Not very." fThink you bin plead?*. ' • •Sir," I replied, "I am wi!linj :̂to *mdertake any employment you •ee fit to give me. If you are not pleased with my appearance, yon may elsewhere." "O you needn't get riled! Thought you looked a little green; but you can't always tell a good caow by her looks. I'll tell ye about my case. Fve sued Bill Stiggins 'fore old 'Squire Beazely for the vally of one of my sheep Ms frailer dog tore an' killed. What's the Saw for that ? Can't I make pay?" *Yes, certainly--if you can prove he owned the dog." ""Wal, he did. He lies 'bout it, to be •ore; he'd lie 'bout anything. I reckon X kin prove it; reckon I'll try, anyway. B®*is it, stranger--will von plead for "How much was the sheep worth ?" Tour dollars. Sheep is scarce an' Don't you think it would pay to let it alone, rather than to your time and money over such a . affair ?" Hj prospective client got up and locked over his chair with indignation. "Small affair, is it ? Look here, «1isilver; if I want to sue Bill Stiggins, lallow no lawyer ain't a goin' to say I Sit* "Of course not, I oftly meant--" ""Tain t no small affair nuther, When •®y of them Stiggins' dogs kills my •heep, either I'll have the vally on it, ® 1" take it outen Bill's hide." I consented to "plead" for the price the ewe against the owner of the dog; md some days later my client came to •own again in his springless wagon, and t^ok me the most uncomfortable ride of welve miles %*t it was ever my lot to jendure; over the roughest of roads. The forum where the case was to be ad­ judicated was the justice's house *t a cross-roads. The report of the trial gone abroad, and something like •ro hundred men and boys, with no representation of the softer sex, •were on hand to see the battle fought <mi. Excitement ran high, public opinion being about equally divided •mpon the merits. The court was held 3* the kitchen of the 'Squire's house, he •explained that he did not want to "muss Xthe sitting-room over a lawsuit. He admonished the crowd that over- .fiewed the room and darkened the door windows, that there was a sick ^ next room, and that he "Would commit to-oncet any man inakin' «*row." ; ; tl?al ^^ged on through the dav •tod far into the night. My opponent Twas a lawyer from a neighboring village •ad our continual sparring over the evi­ dence and our long speeches on the case ^hen it was closed afforded the specta­ tors high entertainment. The point of contest was, as I Lad conjectured •Vbm •wnersliip of the offending dog; the riateaf the victim was clearly established. Jka to whether William Stiggins owned m dog; what description of dog it was • "whether it was in truth and in fact the had trespassed upon my client's Id--a great variety of testimony offered of the most contradictory .Mature. Throughout the trial the do- mestic -operations went right on in the »«ame apartment, and the smell and the »«sszling of frying pork were mingled ^rrtli the proceedings of the former. >Tifee dooi communicating with the ad- Joining room was open, and the 'Squire oeoaeionally rose and went in to see the ! "What's the*matter with#, "Squire"?" r 4PJ opponent once asked. It was broad daylight before I was delivered again at home, exhausted quite as much by 'inhaling for twenty hours the vitiated air of that crowded kitchen, and by the jolting of my rides, as by my labors in the case. Within the week my client came again in high good humor, with the news that he had : won the suit. "You did just splendid," ks said. "My old woman was there, an' she Baid 'at when you was pitehin' in the hot shot 'bout that yaller dog sheakin' round an' killin' my poor sheep in the night, she most cried. Wall, what's the dam­ age?" I charged him $3, quite a large fee in those days in "a new country." He cheerfully paid it, and had got outside the door on his departure before it oc­ curred to him thai he had forgotten something. "I say," he said, thrusting his head into the room, "you hain't felt sick no way nor nothin' since vou was out to the Corners--hev you? No?--wal, I hope you won't Thought Pd tell you, though, that child hed (he smatl-pox. Hope you won't ketch." My agonies of apprehension for some days following this revelation may be imagined. I was so fortunate as not to ketch;" but my opponent did, and has the worst pitted face in the country to­ day, in con sequen oe. Questions for the <tCirill*»d.w Is there anything more unsatisfactory than a perfect house, perfect grounds, perfect gardens, art and nature brought into the most absolute harmony of taste and culture? What more can a man do with it? What satisfaction has a man in it if he,really gets to the end of his power to improve it? There have been such nearly ideal places, and how strong nature always working against mam and in the interest of untamed wildnees, likes to riot in them and reduce them to picturesque destruction! And what sweet sadness, pathos, romantic sug­ gestion, the human mind finds in such a ruin! And a society that has attained its end in all possible culture, entire re­ finement in manners, in tastes, in the art of elegant intellectual and luxurious living--there is nothing pathetic in that ? Where is the primeval, heroic force that made the joy of living in the rough old uncivilized days? Even throw in good­ ness, a certain amount of altruism, gen­ tleness, warm interest in unfortunate humanity--is the situation much im­ proved ? London is probably the most civilized center the world has ever seen; there are gathered more of the elements of that which we reckon the best. Where in history, unless some one puts in a claim for the Frenchman, shall we find a man so nearly approach­ ing the standard we have set up of civil­ ization as the Englishman, refined by inheritance and tradition, educated al­ most beyond the disturbance of enthusi­ asm, and cultivated beyond the chance of surprise? We are speaking of the highest type in manner, information, training, in the acquisition of what the world has to give. Could these men have conquered the world? It is pos­ sible that our highest civilization has lost something of the rough and admira­ ble element that we admire in the heroes of Homer and of Elizabeth? What is this London, the most civilized city ever know? Why, a considerable part of its population is more barbarous, more hopelessly barbarous, than any wild race we know, because they are the barbarians of civilization, the refuse and slag of it, if we dare say that of any humanity. More hopeless, because the virility of savagery has measurably gone out of it. We can do something with a degraded race of savages, if it has any stamina in it. What can be done with those who are described as "East-Lon­ doners ?"--Ch arie.1 Dudley Warner, in Harper's Magazine. ' A Doll, Sickening Thnd. ; They were both very young and very fair. She wore an unwrinkled new gown in the very latest and most bilious shade of green, and with directoire but­ tons the size of a dinner-plate. Her gloves and boots had just come from their respective manufacturers and her bonnet was of yesterday. Nor was his costume at all eclipsed by hers. It was of shining spick-and-span newness from the toe of his polished boot to the sum­ mit of his glossy and resplendent silk hat. They came into one of the Fifth Avenue churches Sunday morning, and dense indeed was the worshiper who did not perceive at a glance that they were on their bridal tour to New York. They were shown by the usher to a pew nearly full, but they didn't mind that. They were perfectly willing to sit close to each other and look on the same hymn-book. But alas! from that affectionate prox­ imity arose, to express it figuratively, the little rift within the lute, the first cloud on the honeymoon. They rose to sing the hymn. He tenderly placed his shining hat, which he had hitherto guarded in his hand, on the seat. They lifted up their voices in sacred song, and forgot in their proad companion­ ship all sublunary matters. The singing over, they closed the book and simultaneously sat down. There was a muffled report, a dull and truly a sickening thud. The bride turned pale, the groom turned purple. Was it her fault that she had sat down on his high hat when he had carefully placed it behind her ? It was not, but alas! the spell was broken, the glamour forever fled! As she rose and he extri­ cated the ruin of what was once so beau­ tiful, as he saw the feigned devotion with which the people around bent over their hymn-books, the glance he cast upon her was distinctly and clearly re­ proachful. ---Neu: York Sun. -< How Franklin Mastered Italian. Probably no young person ever learned a modern language in a more ingenious way than Benjamin Franklin. He tells us, in his autobiography, that after mastering French he undertook Italian. An acquaintance who was also learning it, used often to tempt Frank­ lin to play chess with him. Finding that this took up too much of the little spare time they had for study, the fu­ ture philosopher hit upon the happy plan of allowing the victor in any game the right to impose some task in con­ nection with their study of the language. This task, to be performed upon honor before their next meeting, was either parts of the grammar to be learned by heart, or an exercise in translation. As' they played chess about equally well, they fairly beat one another into the knowledge of Italian. Wat • got that A sensible use of' a game? Xtofftt Waa AMnmnlattd by tbs ••Rif fuair-FLMII, CKBrlmn Mr n41h«fr Graft* bank. In the early part of this century there were born in Ireland, under the hum­ blest circumstances, all within the space of ten years, four bonanza kings. They weren't bonanza kings when they firs* opened their eyes and began to kick at things in general on the Rmer&hl Isle. But all the same they had it in thetn; and when they began to play tag and mumble-te-peg they commenced to dream in a vague sort of way of bonah&as, and when they became men they all struck, the greatest bonansa the world has ever known. The story reads like "Monte Cristo." One of this quartet was named James Clair Flood. He was known lor mimy {'ears, owing to his profusion of blonde ocks, as the "Golden Irishman." He was a carpenter by trade. Another was named William S. O'Brien--always called "Billv" O'Brien for short. He had no trade, but what is known in these days as a hustler. Ireland wasn't rapid enough for these two. They were high-spirited, and confident young fel­ lows, and they just ached to get in the swim and swirl around a little. They yearned for velocity. Onfe day they said to themselves that they thought they knew their gait pretty well, and they guessed they'd go to America just to look around a little. They did not know each other, and met for the first time on board ship. They did a good deal of talking on the voyage, and when they landed in New York they were fast friends, and struok up a partner ship that was not dissolved till death. When they arrived in New York, and had a chance to take in the town, they $ame to the conclusion that, after all, it was too big. They wanted more breath­ ing space. Then they contracted the mining fever, as mostly every one did in those days. So, m 1851, they took passage in the good ship Elizabeth Ellen, doubled the boisterous Horn and landed at Yerba Buena, now San Fran­ cisco. They #ere in the El Dorado of the world, treading the golden sands of California, the end of the glittering vista through which the eyes of the world were gazing with longing. The fever was at its height. Men were go­ ing wild with excitement. Every ship brought crowds of eager adventurers, and fortunes were being made in amaz­ ingly short times--weeks, days) even hours. Flood and 0'J£piea were as eager as the rest. t What did they do"!1 ^ v Did they cavort around, shriek, invest the little cash they had in wildcat min­ ing schemes ? Go to! Not much. V They started a modest placfd' of re­ freshment in a log cabin, and they called it the "Auction Lunch." They made money. They kept right? still. They weren't saying a word. 9y and by they commenced to lay ont a part of their profits in small mining ventures.' They accumulated some more money. Their place was frequented by all sorts and conditions of men--wrecks who, with high hopes, had come to the mines and lost everything; reckless miners who spent their dust like water; gamblers, adventurers, all sorts of men. if was at this time that the quartet-- later known as the "Big Four"--was made complete. Among the occasional frequenters of the saloon was a bright young Irishman, named John W. Mackay. He had been among the mines for some time, had been picking and sifting the gravel in running streams, tramping alone with his blanket and tools, but somehow he never man­ aged to strike it rich. But he was an experienced miner, and was chock full of ideas and nerve. He didn't have any money, but Flood and O'Brien thought his experience would be worth a good deal to them. They formed a compact. Mackay knew another young Irishman, a clever engineer, experienced in mines. His name was James G. Fair. He didn't have a cent, but he, too, was made a partner. By this time Flood and O'Brien were pretty well off. Mackay and Fair took their kits and went off to prospect. They werejaot very successful for some years, and just managed to get along. By and by came the rumors across the Sierras that great veins of quartz carry­ ing a strange black metal, whioh ex­ perts said was silver, had been discov­ ered. Mackay and Fair went there from the placer diggings in the valleys to the quartz lodes high up in the ice and snow and Arctic winds which pour down from Manitoba with a biting in­ tensity nobody who has not spent a win­ ter in Virginia City can imagine. The two made money for themselves and for Flood and O'Brien, their quiet, indus­ trious partners "way down in Trisco." Mackay's wife kept a miners' boarding- house in Virginia City. Then they struck "Consolidated Vir­ ginia" in whose shares servant girls soon after made fortunes and rich men lost them. The way they struck it was curi­ ous. A young man came to Mackay and Fair one evening and said he had a good claim which he didn't have either time or inclination to work. If they would look at it and liked it he would sell it to them cheap. They looked at it, liked it, sent to Flood and O'Brien for a few hundred dollars, the claim was bought, the young man took the money to Sacramento and drank it up, and Mackay soon discovered that he and his partners owned the Consoli­ dated Virginia, which was destined to become the most famous mine in the world. Then began the search for the treasure. For a long time the quartet firm, with all its mining property, took out little money, but Mackay kept steadily at work. « The persistence, endurance, and skill required in hunting the ore body was something to discourage most men. Ex perienced miners abandoned the pro­ ject in despair, declaring that it would never pay for its trouble and expense. But Mackay and his associates refused to be discouraged. The old shaft of the central mine was utilised, and they pushed a drift northward from the 1,160 foot level of the Gould and Curry, across the Best and Belcher and into the old "Virginia ground." The dis­ tance was more than 1,200 feet, through rocks of the most difficult character. In October, 1875, a fire destroyed the buildings and all the valuable ma­ chinery of the company. The damage was soon repaired and work again pushed. Meanwhile the public watched its progress with little faith, even ridiculing Fair, O'Brien, Mackay, and Flood. Suddenly the report came that rich ore had been struck. The stock shot up to fabulous figures, and all the world was eager to obtain it. The quantities of ore taken justified the enthusiasm of investors. The product of thai 5 mine and the ' "California" has simply stag­ gered the world. Iu six y^ars they yielded in gohL&n*ydlver $172,275,270, and from lSZUliMfltf 9 the dividends whioh they paid were $75,000,000. In the height of their prosperity the Con sfclidated y&finia and the California ctttopany turiled out a gross product of $5^000,000 » month. Each of the bonanza partners drew from thetn at one timfe ab6t^6 $750,000 a month as his indifidnal fehare" of the profits. In six years the Comstock lode--o^ which these two mines were but a part--yielded more than $300,000,000 in ore! This is a true story of the remarkable career of four Irish lads. Their history since they struck the great bonanza is well kn'oWri. O'Brien died in 1879, noted for his charities and belofed by all. Flood's San Francisco palaces, his family, and his munificence have been matter of common report in the news­ papers for many years. He died in February of this year. Fair has been a United States Senator, and is a great traveler. Mackay's daughter, Eva, mar­ ried the head of one of the greatest Italian houses, Prince Colonna. His wife, who, as has been said, kept a boarding-house in Virginia City, is one of the society queens of EurOj^ the courted of courts. • It is a remarkable romance. ' ( Hew to .Treat a Cigar. According to a well known oigar dealer cigars are a good deal line their smokers; they don't prove agreeable companions unless they are treated well. |Yes," said thedealer, there is "every­ thing in knowing how to manage a cigar and where to smoke one. In the first place, many smokers don't light their cigars* properly. A man, say, comes into my store and asks for a fif­ teen-cent cigar straight. He naturally expects a good one, and ought to at that price. Then he proceeds to light it with a taper. Perhaps he has a friend with him or sees one just at that moment, when .be r.t once begins to say something to between puffs, meanwhile lighting the cigar. He does more talk­ ing than puffing, and throws the taper away as soon as he has drawn a little smoke through the weed. Then he goes out into the wind, puffing away, having lighted but one side of the cigar, in his haste. The consequence is, it burns one-sided, which always gives a cigar a rank flavor. The next time this customer comes in he asks for another brand of cigar, because the former kind 'tasted rank' or didn't burn weSi, In order to give a cigar a good chance it should be thoroughly lit all round. As to the place where cigars should be smoked, it depends upon the brand. A pure Havanna cigar should never be smoked in the open air where there is wind. The reason for this is that the pure Havanna tobacco is rich with oil, and does not burn so well as a dryer ar­ ticle. The wind Causes it to burn un­ evenly, whwh spoils the cigar. The best cigar for general smoking is what i? known a3 the Havanna seed with Su­ matra wrapper. All smokers knew that the cigar that has been relit is like the second cup of coffee; it never taster as good as the first. I think it is beafcuse some of the old smoke remains in th# cigar. Before relighting my cigar I alw\cs blow on it, so as not to draw the stale smoke through the entire length of the cigar when I apply the light. I doM't believe it makes any difference as far &s tasting the nicotine is concerned whether a man bites the end of the cigar f"ff, or makes an aperture in the side with a knife.--Detroit Free Press. Saving Horses at • Fire. < A cool head is worth thousand# ot dollars in an emergency, This remark is to be taken in its literal meaning. In^ proof of this fact the following instai ,ce of the great fire is related: The Amer­ ican Press Company's barns on Ei- change street, running through to Car* roll, were early threatened, and it be­ came evident that property within them must be removed. Said Mr. Bell, who was in charge: "Men, we must move. Don't do one thing to excite a horse. Lead them to the watering trough in regular order, throw on the harness, and hitch^on two wagons or sleighs instead of one. The horses will all think they are going to work, and we will clean this storehouse out." Mr. Bell's direc­ tions were carried out, the horses an 6 wagons and sleighs were Speedily re­ moved, there was no confusion, and th6 result is that thousands of dollars were saved to the American Exchange Com- Eany. Any one knowing how frantiA orses become when threatened by firs will appreciate the coolness of Mr. Bell. And to illustrate how quickly horses become frightened when tied in a stall under such circumstances this instance is related: A man living some half- dozen or more blocks from the fire in a section where the cinders and smoke were directly blown, went out to feed his horse shortly after daylight. He opened a large door, gave the horse his measure of oats, and passed up into the loft to throw down hay. When he came down the horse, a well-bred but gentle animal, was swinging his head (his mouth was full of oats), snorting and pawing, evidently in great excite­ ment. The barn had filled with the heavy smell of smoke^'rom the fire, and this it was that so frightened the horse. It was two hours before the animal quieted down and went on with his breakfast; and he is a horse with an ap­ petite that lasts twenty-four hours each day.--Buffalo Express. What Nature Blesses. Go out if you will and walk alone on the hillside in the evening, but if your favorite child lies ill at home, or your lover comes to-morrow, or at your heart their lies a scheme for the holding of wealth, then you return as you went out; you will have seen nothing. For Nature, era like the old Hebrew God, cries out, Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Only then, when there comes a pause, a blank in your life, when the old idol is broken, when the old hope is dead, when the old de­ sire is crushed, then the divine com­ pensation of Nature is made manifest. She shows herself to you. So near she draws to you, that the blood seems to flow from her to you, through a still, small cord; you feel the throb of her life. When that day comes, that you sit down broken, without one human crea­ ture, to whom you cling, with your loves, the dead and living-dead; when the very thirst for knowledge through long-continued thwarting has grown dull; when in the present there is crav­ ing, and in the future no hope, then, oh, with a beneficent tenderness, Na­ ture enfolds you.--The Stoty of an African Farm. IN Volapuk "galon" means to rejoice That is what a young man does when he has a gal-on his knee. Volapuk is no slouch of a language after all.-- Norristown Herald. krsm all, matrimony i* merely a con­ fidence game. / ̂ The Lime-Kiln Clah. "Does Man Expect Too Much ?* asked Brother Gardner as he looked up and down the aisles of Paradise Hall for a mordent 'and then blew his nose with a cannon-like report. "Dis ar' a query sent to me from Griffith, Ga., to be de­ bated on by dis club. I would like a gineral 'apreshun of opinyun an' doorin* de proceedins Samuel Shin will either quit spittin' on de stove an' foolin' wid his feet or he kin look out fur a calam­ ity. Kumel Cabiff will please lead off." The kumel, who was suffering with a sty on the left eye, introduced the same as evidence that man did expect too much. He expected 40 slip through life without meeting any of its ills, and was greatly surprised when a boil hit him in the leg or a soft corn showed up between his toes. He knew men who expected to live without paying their debts, and who expected the community to keep them in tobacco and drinks. He knew others who expected to loaf all summer and have sirloin steak all win­ ter. So far as his experience went man was always expecting something and was mad if it didn't oome. Man was also unreasonable in his expectations. He had known of a bald-headed, cross- eyed> lop-shouldered man to be mad for a month because he did not get the cane voted to the handsomest man in town. Maj. Insomania Quackenbush begged to differ with the last speaker. He be­ lieved that man was put here to expect, and that he couldn't expect too much. When he went to »bed at night he ex­ pected to get up in the morning and find his chickens safe. Was tbat un­ reasonable ? He expected his old dog would be at the back door, his wheel­ barrow would be in the shed, and his front gate still hanging by one hinge. Man had a right to expect good weather, good living, a reasonable amount of ginger ale and lemonade, and passably good clothes. He had encountered few people who didn't expect anything, and they not only never got it, but didn't take any comfort. Man was created to enjoy this world. To expect liver and bacon for breakfast, pot-pie for dinner, and hot biscuit and honey for supper was only within the bounds of reason. Prof. Asteroid Parker took the floor. It was a subject he had given much thought, but had not yet reached a def­ inite conclusion. It was proper, he be­ lieved, for man to expect more or less, but he must not be unreasonable about it. For instance, if he bought a ticket in a lottery, he had a right to expect to hit at least $10,000, but in going home of a dark night he had no right to ex­ pect to stumble over a bag of gold con­ taining double that amount. Man could properly expect three or four days of good weather in the week, but he must not go on the idea that he ran things, and could have what suited his conven­ ience best. If a man walked out of his house in the morning without giving his wife any money he must not expect a boiled dinner when he got home. Boils, corns, carbuncles, ague, tooth­ ache, and lame back must be looked upon as an offset tor going a-fishing and holding cake-walks. "'De queshun hasn't bin decided by de debate heah to-night," said Brother Gardner, as he arose to close the dis­ cussion. "I reckon, however, dat we all do expeck too much. Man ar* an ex- pectin' animal. It's bo'n in him. He keeps right on in spite of set-backs. We will decide dat tlie queshun hasn't bin decided, an' lay it aside fur furder disoushun."--Detroit Free Press^^;A Auctioneers in France. They are public officials, bul tfiey ave to pay for it. The auctioneers are eighty in number, and form a close cor­ poration, created by a decree dated 27 Ventose in the year IX. of theBepublic, and definitively regulated by a law passed in 1843. The French auctioneers come under the category of "officiers ministeriels," like notaries, reoorders, sheriffs, etc., and those of Paris form a sort of syndical chamber, and have also the privilege of constituting themselves into a chamber of discipline, and of pro­ nouncing censure or suspension against! offenders. Furthermore, they have a right to sell their "charge" or the good­ will of their business, and to recom­ mend their successors, who, after ap­ proval by the Guard of the Seals, are nominated finally by the head of the State. The only requirements for be­ coming an auctioneer are French citi- aship, having reached the age of twenty-five years, being generally con­ sidered competent, and of oourse having some means, for the public treasury ex­ acts caution-money to the amount of 20,000 francs from each auctioneer, and the good-will of a very ordinary and in­ glorious Parisian auctioneer's business is valued at 200,000 francs, while the famous "charges" oost five times that amount. Thus M. Charles Pillett paid his predecessor, M. Bonnefonds de La- vialle, more than 1,000,000 francs for his good-will; and when M. Pillett sold out recently to M. Chevalier, who is at present the great virtuose of the ham­ mer, more than 1,000,000 francs ohanged hands once again. Now the leading members of the cor­ poration of auctioneers have each one more or less a specialty, one selling fine furniture, another faiences or arms, an­ other prints or books, while some drive., their trade otherwheres than at the hotel; as at Bercy, where they Bell wines, or at Tattersall's, in the Bue Beaujon, where horses and carriages are brought under the * hammer. The specialist auctioneer has his special pub- lfc, knows the amateurs of objects of his specialty, has their addresses, is familiar with their faces and ways, and can al­ together manage his sale of coins and medals, we will say, better than an auctioneer who is in the habit of selling pictures. -- Theodore Child, in Har­ per's Magazine. It Was a Cheatnnt. Barber--How do you want toffee shaved? Man in the chair--In perfect silenoe. "Umph!" - "Look out, yu've got soap in my eye. * * * (Sputtering.) Keep that brush out of my mouth. * * * Con­ found it, you've cut me. * * * Don'Jt shave so infernal close." "Next." - • i Man in the chair (slowly getting out after fifteen minutes of excruciating toi> ture)--I'll never try that chestnut on a barber again.--Chicago Herald. THE returns published by the Swiss Confederation with reference to the development of telephonic communi­ cation in Switzerland show that since the establishment of the" first ^telephone in 1880 sixty-one towns have been pro­ vided with it, and there are now 6,944 telephonic station,s of which no fewer than 1,500 are in Geneva and its su­ burbs. Most of the Swiss towns are now connected with one another, Geneva communicating not only with Lausanne and other places on the shores of the lake, but Berne, Zurich, and St. Gall. Gouveroenr Morris liberty, not from the Btittito Aetiaijf butjptfft'the prosecaHift mTttil#§ ger in 1784, on the chargfe of libeling the Governor of New York and his effi> cial friends. William Cosby was the Governor. He was an irritable man, who, having been sent to the Colony to mend his broken fortune, did much to hasten colonial emancipation. Unscru­ pulous and avaricious, he insisted on new surveys of land and new grants, in order that he might clutch at great per­ quisites. "Do you think I mind that?" he an­ swered those who objected that the Governor was acting against law. "I have great interest in England." The New York Weekly Journal was established to defend the cause of the people against the arbitrary Governor, who was trying to play the part of a petty tyrant. Its squibs and satires upon Crosby and his Council provoked the authorities to certain copies of the Journal to be publicly burned by the hangmar, and its publisher, John Peter Zenger, to be thrown into prison. Zenger was charged with publishing false and seditious libels against the Government. As the grand jury re­ fused to find a bill against him, the At­ torney General filed an information. The case excited intense interest, for it involved liberty of speech and of the press, and all the central colonies re­ garded the controversy as their own. James Alexander, Zenger's counsel and the leading lawyer of the Colony, took exceptions to the validity of the commission of the Chief Justice, De Lancey, and to the legality of proceed­ ing by information instead of by indict­ ment. De Lancey refused to" receive the exceptions. "You thought," said he to Alexander, "to have gained a great deal of applause by opposing this court; but you have brought it to this point, that either we must go from the bench, or you must go from the bar." He then issued an order excluding Alexander from any further practice in that court. The " Sons of Liberty" then brought the foremost lawyer of the country, An. drew Hamilton, from Philadelphia to plead Zenger s cause. When the dis­ tinguished advocate entered the court­ room those who were present rose to their feet, waved their hats, and shouted loud huzzas. Chief Justice De Lancey frowned angrily, and demanded silence. The prisoner pleaded "not guilty," admitted the publication of the al­ leged libel, and justified it by asserting its truth. Those were the days when the legal doctrine was that "the greater the truth, the greater the libel." When Hamilton offered to prove^hat the alleged libel was justified, the Chief Justice inter­ rupted him, saying: "You cannot be admitted to give the truth of a libel in evidence." "Then," said Hamilton, turning to the jury, "we appeal to you for witnesses of the facts. The jury have the right to determine both the law and the fact, and and they ought to do so. The question before you is not the cause of a poor printer of New York alone, it is the cause of liberty--the liberty of oppos­ ing arbitrary power by speaking and writing truth." The Chief Justico charged against the prisoner and the doctrines of his coun­ sel. The jury retired, and in a few minutes returned a verdict of "Not Guilty." The audience, shouting approval, bore Hamilton out of the court-room upon their shoulders. The Common Council of New York gave him the freedom of the city in a gold box for his gratuitous services in "defense of the rights of mankind, and the liberty of the press." That verdict was a prophecy to those who could read it of Colonial independ­ ence. It was the handwriting on the wall, but there was no Daniel, in whom England had cohfidence, to interpret it. Tired of Washington Society. The daughter of a high official, whom the writer of the Waterbury American •^Washington occasionally meets, said, in a burst of confidence, the other night: "I am only four years older, according to the almanac, than when I came here, but in experience it seems to me I have lived a century. "Sometimes I actually get scard when I think what a change has come over my way of looking at life in these four years. It seems that I have almost lost my old individuality and that anothex consciousness has got into my body. "I came here a simple, innocent country girl, just out of school, and with the most glowing and romantic ideas about society, now I am as hard­ ened and artificially polished, if you please, as a society woman of twenty seasons, and can Bmile and smile and be a villain with any of them. I have been forced to play the hypocrite, as all wo­ men in society must, to such an extent that I have almost ceased to know who my real friends are, and treat everybody with the same stereotyped smile and pretend to be as deeply interested in affairs of Sallie Jones, whom I met for the first time ten minutes ago, as I am in those of my own sister. It is dread­ ful, and I am glad we are going away. "There is scarcely a person who has been much in society here for the last four years whom I have not met, and of all those thousands there are not really half a dozen I ever care to meet again. You see so many people, you go so much, that your head is in a whirl all the time, and you not only don't have a chance to get attached to any one, but you don't even get acquainted with them. Of course, I have often thought in the midst of it all what a magnificent time I was having, but now that it is all over I fell very much as I do on seeing the curtain fall at the end of a grand spectacular performance at the theater. My eyes are tired from the glitter of the costumes and the glare of the calcium lights, and I am glad to hurry home and go to bed." ' Tery Singular. Yorker (to friend)--Did TOU read about that young lady being robbed in broad daylight on Sixth avenue? Friend--Yes, I read about it. "Singular, wasn't it?" .. , "What was there singular aboul |i? Such things happen every "But didn't you read that she had 55 in her poeketbook, and that she had just returned from shopping? That a woman should quit shopping while she had $5 left is the most astonishing thing I have ever known."--Texas Sifting#. More Interesting. ̂- « Husband--What kind of seats shall I get for the plav to-night--orchestra? Wife--No; family circle. t "Because they're cheaper, I suppose." "We can see better." "See what, the stage?" "Of oourse not--what the women in the audience wear.--Yankee Blade. CUBBE5T COXICAIILTOES. * Tfl* Lady of Lyons--The lioness. SOLOMON is said to have been wise. We should like to observe Solomon"* expression at an "afternoon tea." THE 1 cent per head duty on foreign cabbages will not prevent some of the European visitors from writing books on this countrv. --Baltimore American. THE man who always tells the exact truth in this world on every possible occasion, may have a clear conscience, but he will never be popular aynhn^ his neighbors. THREE a. m. Husband--Mf love, I cannot find a match. Wife--No, you brute; your equal for coming home late from the club cannot be discovered.-- Boston Gazette. " ON the force now,eh I" "Yes." "Why,I never thought it of you--a man who liked convivial dinners and late hours." "That's what qualifies me--I'm used to club life."--Chicago Ledger. "I MABEXED for love," said cme. married for money, I admit," said to­ other. "What did you marry for, auntie?" "I married forever, and that's what precious few do nowadays." THE new powder adopted by the En • glish Government is white and smoke­ less. American women hay.e been using that kind of powder for both large small arias for io these many years. HOBTENSE--What an awful squeeze thpre was at the Von Twiller reception last night! Grace--Yes, George and I had to sit outside on the stairs. Hoy- tense--Did the squeeze continue out there?--Life. Oua happiness depends on little things, says a philosopher. This is true. A man who comes into possession of a plugged quarter can never know true happiness till he succeeds in panning it off on some one. LAP suppers are popular in City. The party always insists of young people, an equal number of each sex. There are as many chairs as there are gentlemen, and one place at 4he table serves two people. WILKES--How is your novel coming on, Bilkes ? Bilkes--The sale of it been stopped. Wilkes--By the au­ thorities ? Old boy, yoUr fortune's made. "No, the authorities didn't stop it, but the publishers have." THE Miss Browns--O, so glad to see you, Mary! But we've such dreadful colds, we can't kiss you, dear. We can only shake hands! Fair Visitor--O, dear, how sad! I hope you haven't got a cold, Mr. Brown.--London Punch. MBS. WINKS--Folks say Mr. Weed, the cigar manufacturer, was converted, at the revival last night. Mr. Winks --Guess its true. I stepped in this morning for my favorite brand of two- for-five cigars and I noticed the card 'Pure Havana' had been moved over to the 15-cent box. J SHE--Why, Charley, your grand­ mother died only a week ago, and here you are at a dancing party. I should think you'd have some respect for her memory. He--Why, I certainly have. But, you see, she lost her memory six years before she died, and I date my re­ spect from that time.--Boston Bacon. OLD Mrs. Bently--When d'ye spose, Joshua, they're goin' to git tlhese tele-r graph wires under ground ? Old Mr. Bently--I dun know; I see there's a prominent telegraph official died two or three days ago, an' is to be buried to- morrer. Old Mrs. Bently--Well, Joshua, that ain't much, but it's suthin'. --Harper's Bazar. t SENSATIONAL Preacher--There is no use talking, I must start another live topic, in order to keep some of out fickle pewholders from going to Snor­ ter's church. Wife--What topic do you think of starting this time? "Well the wickedness of the daily press would be a good subject. All the big papers will report my sermons, and I shall be famous in a month." SLIMSON--How late do you usually stay when you go courting, Perterby? Peterby--Well, that depends on how the old gentleman is feeling. Now, last night a piece of the ceiling came down at 11:30 and I concluded to move on. But some nights her pa falls asleep, and then I stay until the gas-meter begins to drop stitches. THEY were on their way home from the theater. "We had an interesting discussion last night at the debating club," remarked George. "The subject was 'What shall we do with our raw material?'" "I know little about mat­ ters of that nature, George," returned the girl, timidly, "but I wink some of our raw material should be disposed of on the hft|f-shell." AN old farmer's daughter died and the family pastor preached the sermon. In the course of his remarks he said: "Our dear sister has gone to a better land." This made the old man, who was trying to sell out, highly indignant. "A crow never flew over better land than mine," he said. "And, besides, just look at it. I am offering it for $50 an acre--one-fourth down and the bal­ ance on deferred payments, with good security," , UXBEQUITED LOVE. Of all the better feelings that an» aant e iis fkWt The'bitterest of these is that of requited Tot®. At first, the anguish that you feel is difficult to bide, Anrl desperation fills your soul with thoughts of suicide. But calmer counsels will prevail, and with a stifled sigh You suffer on in sil«oo«, as perhaps you Tafnly try To drown the throbbing! of your heart in dissi­ pation's whirl; But those throbbing*a«ver cease untU you gat ' IM- • V • The Legitimate DrawMu ' ~ Eminent Tragedian--Is everytlfl ̂ ready for my appearance in the revival of "Measure for Measure?" Stage Manager--I think s '̂- '-'I- liave looked up the scenery and-- ̂ "How about the music?" i'v". "You can rest easy on that score." "And the costumes?" "Superb!" "And will you see to the illumina­ tions?" "Of course. There's one unimportant detail, though, unattended to." "What's that?" $ "I have been unable to get book# of the play, and the oompany are not up in their parts." "Oh, the words don't matter, we're reviving Shakspeare, you know, and, besides, we open in New York. Be sure to have three ballets and a light- ning juggler and the trick acrobats."-- Time. ^ HE may not be a bashful man, but anybody who has observed the color on the reserve side of a railroad switch signal- understands how easily the switchman turns red.--Yonkers States­ man. DISAGREEABLE men on steamboats have the best accommodations. Every­ body gives them a wide berth.--.Yew Orleans Picayune. •; Si' " " f"X? wCSSIt-iS&f " " r : ' . MSB