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1 «•* *y AT MONTE wnw*K. -- - expect WOXES m l&fc JAKET POSAUT*). FFFCIART, wnm WAR MADE from a I'S, but shucks! H«r brains ••*•£•->{ ty-pioklety. kos odda an' e-«ndS.-'*T' '186 from IRIS remain*; - «%R?V.V'. But--TLIE LIORD made em. S; ^ .. __ by aroidnnt, t hough, we air tUslda'; '*) can't be proud o' the job, - * such tongues as they have bean giViS ' gossip an' Bcold an1 sob; But--the Lord made 'cm. "•"ft war a woman, ye know, who gossiped % "uk Ed<m with Satan hissef, W^sy're jtm* plumb sure to spread all ttoWf Jfcn' make it 'fore they're hfj »,G- But--the Lord made 'em. • A . "".I'Wnt sale to treat wimmin with n«*hi*V WG: fell everything thev know, '*** they hain't got no sense tor I .... Y AB' do change titer minds so; ' But--the Lord made'em. , ^TPbey sets thai-selves up on principle, . ~ SVufttratii)' of the men, '•'* • aOsdust justice arid enny enjyment, Jfcic of 'em out o' ten ; Bat--the Lord made 'am. i TCfceyYe so onraasonablo. thar answer !• JtoocsMss'tt«, to every why. tSonae acts one way an' some another; * We'nns can't truck 'em--don't tfjtj- But--the Lord made'«rai "Ih*y gives thar advice er, confident Kz if nuthin' here on yearth i: War half ez precious, an' think it spristnV ®iat we'uns shake with«mirtb; • '3 ? But--tlie Iiord made 'em. ^ ;'""Utt--talk of foolin--why a spindlin* ffn% O' a cal will fool a mai /least's nix feet high an' two hundfed pOWS Jftjbuut «anvi.hni'. She can ; ? For--the Lord made "em." 1IRS. GUFFIXS' HUSBAND. Q< A Humorous Sketchy, ! , * v „ • ; * , , "BAYS Obadiah to me, says he. Maria, Friday is mf birth- 4»y,w and Td like to hev a turkey din- It seemed so sort of fonny far me to 1m standing there, Mrs. Guffins the <aaeond, on most the same boards I'd satood on to cut out the first Mrs. G uf- fin's last new gray merino. But such is & I used to say Td never marry a *j*lower, or a homely middle-aged man, *md Fd done both, and didn't repent it. Bat I had manty-maked for ten years, and got over my romantic ideas, and brined the more substantial qualities in * man. such as keeping plenty of kin- split, and never letting the flour- barrel get low, and putting a patent .p in the kitchen. Yon can't mantv-make 'without get- «&W to know the character of the folks off these neighborhoods whereunto you air called by Providence; and I'd heard of Ofaadiah Guffins. Vhm fust Mrs. Guffins never had to fun her black silks nor to wear last mater's bonnit. Raisins was in her «fcc»w» closet by the box, and all that Wmmrt could wish wuz hern, except that abe enjoyed poor health, which carried karoff at last to reside amongst the rbm ubinis and seraphims, where there's 9» mace sick headaches. -Obadiah missed the first Mrs. Guffins inch indeed. "Why, I would never hed anybody that didn't lament ir late deceased partner. I should «Htpeefc to be treated so myself when the IBW esme. I never objected to him recruiting to 3MS tender rememberies when he was on me. He called Sunday even- iagS, and where I boarded the young «dks was all married, so they let us hev the parlor ef Fd buy the kerosene for tiw best lamp. Our courting was short and sweet. He called four times. The 4Mb time we sat on two chairs each side At ornate, and told each other about the , WljWji1 and sich. The second time he Ipmigltt his chair around to mine, and aaid he felt kinder lonesome over there || Uiiiiielf. The third time he pat his am about my waist and said: good your frocks fit." ...And the fourth time he said: '^""Martha Maria Packenham, ymVe •ikea my house, and you know jest about vhit Fm worth. I'm a good provider, «f I do say it myself. Don't you think il would be more to your interest fur tu dliange the wild and wandering life of a aaanty-moker for the more sedentary one «t Missus Guffins? Ef so, let us set the day and get married before planting time comes on, so we can go off soino- , where on a tower." / 1/,„,£ -was going.to ask a week to think ^, «bo>ut it, for I don't believe in letting a aaan think you are jumping at him; but I reflected that the Widder Bush wanted and her place was next to his, and «M5Be was no use of giving her a chance, - /an I saH: "I don't know but what you're right, '-pfr- Guffins," and calculated how long Sk <a<onld take me to get a pearl-gray silk ••ade *p, and set the day according, And that is how I came to be Mrs. Otfffins the second, and Obadiah talking •Ifc roe -about a turkey dinner. 1 "Marthy Maria," said he "Friday is *v birthday and I'd like to hev a tur­ key dinner. Boast turkey scuffed, cran- Ifcrry sarse, pertaters, onions, turnips, , 4»id mince pie." And say* I: "S .^"Qfradrah, yon shall have a good one. • '^Wot so good as the first Mrs. Gnffinshev . t&»"f^°ked, but as good as I kin do it." erB was anything of that sort to f,, • said, I meant to say it myself and hev ftk©< credit of it. It is the safest plan. I »«>Bcluded to put a little brandy in the (Mince meat. The brandy was down the •flilhir, and I had the keys in my pocket. _ When I first came I had noticed that Obadiah went down to take a look at fte cellar kinder often, and when I fol­ lowed him I found out why. The dim- l&yjohna was down there. Now, a good provider must hev some dimmyjohns in of sickness and fur cooking, but ffcey -don't need to be called on to ask tow ta^ey be very often, so I locked up •tie cellar and put the keys ^on my ring, *®dif Obadiah had cramps or anything, ' ?T ,e to do was to tell me, and I ^tended to it. But, as 1 said, I decided **° 1"^ brandy in the mince meat, ifciaiVv.ent down to get it. The key tjtum, I rememberized, until I ^ , took at off the ring. The others sort, of Weighed it down. *v Well, I got a sufficiency, and I fixed ' hi-' '. Ples ftnd baked 'em, so's to warm up i T11®11- ne^|fdv An(1 on the birthday fining Obadiali went out to see to wwtong the peaches, promising to come at 11 and dress, for Fd asked com- jpany. A turkev dinner is too much for two, and it takes company to keep up i*ny day much. r * The dinner was most cooked and the ibetrt, set on, and 11 had come,and still Oba- tdiah wasn't in. He had orter of shaved too. I felt fidgety. A sort of presenti- opent took me like a stitch in the side I went up to change my dress, and twhm. I put the keys into the other Igocket I found I'd left the cellar key in down and lock up, and bring it I said to Charity Pigott, my |<did it, and came back shivering, lat's the matter?" sez L 1, if you must know, Mrs. Guf- she, "that cellar skeersste. 1 always there." "You're a born idiot," said £ GbaHiah hadn't come ia yet, and it seemed as if he would be prompt, if he coold, when he had wanted turkey din­ ner so bad and folks was coming. I tried to think that nothing coold happen picking peaches. You didn't climb up like you did into cherry trees, and you couldn't be throwed like you might riding the mower, and they didn't keep the bulls in the peaeh orchard; still, things do happen; and as the folks got there--Deacon Tilbury and his wife, an,d Cousin Miranda and her darter, and Moses llo bins, that keeps the Sunday-school libr'y and recites so lovely--I had to out with it. "I guess you think I'm actin' sort of queer," sez X "but I've got a little ap­ prehensible about my pardner. He had orter been in long ago, and Charity Piggot can't find him in the peach or­ chard, and I've got to go and look my­ self, ef you'll excuse me." "FU go, Mrs. Guffins," says Moses Robins. "I'll fetch him along." So Moses went, He weftt, and he stayed, but he came back without Oba­ diah. I can't spin this here tale of horror out forever, even if my nerves coold stand it; so, to cut a long story short, it wasn't long before everybody was out lookin'. You could hear hoots and howls of--"Obadiah Guffins! Obadiah Guffins! where are you ?" all over the farm. The baskets and the picker were a lyin' under the tree, but my husband wurn't nowhere. They weut to the vil­ lage, the deacon suggestin' he might have gone to be shaved and was swaitiu' his turn; bot night came and he wusn't found. Then I made sure he wa3 murdered by tramps and hid in the woods, and we wus out all night with lanterns and torches. We dragged the well and then we dragged the pond; and when he'd been gone two days and a half, and neither hide or hair of him to be found anywhere, Mrs. Deacon Tillbury says to" me: < "Don't feel too bad about it, Mrs. Guffins, but I am afeard your espouzed husband has eloped with some design­ ing critter. Their ain't no accountin' for his disappearance in no other way." And then I went oft into highstericks. It was high time. I dunno who said that I had orter hev some brandy and water, but somebody that wanted some themselves, I reckon. I didn't. And Charity gave Moses my keys, and he took a candle and went down to get some in the milk jug. « I was feeling awful, and when in a minute more I heard bim call tout: "Deacon! Deacon Tillbury! Hurry I Here, this way! Hurry!" I sort of swooned. - * The next minute I came tu and saw 'em supportin' Obadiah between 'em. What had happened I didn't know. His legs wobbled about, his eyes were glassy, and he couldn't hold himself steady; and the first thing he said was: "Martha Maria, 111 hev a divorce from you! Yon done this a purpose!" They had found him down the cellar, where he had been languishin' two days and a half, and this is how it happened: Diskiverin' that I had left the key in the cellar door, he had made up his mind to treat himself to a good drink for his birthday, and while he was drawin' it on the sly into an empty bot­ tle that had had Chump's Sarsaparilta into it, Charity Piggott locked the cel­ lar door. There was enough to eat there, such as it was--cheese and sweetmeats and smoked beef--but in his tribulation he had took a great deal of spiritual drink also. In fact, he was intoxicated--I never blamed him--but he was--and he kept howlin': "Where's the turkey din­ ner? My first wife wouldn't have used me so!" until the Deacon and Moses pot him to bed in the up chamber. He had a bilious attack after that, and while I was a nussin of him we made op; but neither of us thought turkey dinners much of a subject to talk about for quite a considerable spell of Sun­ days. - • Their Flr*t AiuiiverHary. Washington Pya (opening his pipe oas« i Kl»y WluitV this, my dear-- whore's my tueitrwhaum? Mr*, M aahitigton I'ye (with beaming eye* > Why, I Haw it was stained nearly bluvclt, so I bought you this nice new wtiiio one to surprise you with on our wedding dav. And it was such a bargain, too! The man says it's war­ ranted never to stain. Washington Pye (setting bundle on table) -That's very kind of you, of course, my dear, and thank you; only I really prefer the old one. But, see, I thought I'd give you a little surprise. That's just as good a piece of silk aa a woman needs to wear. I paid $2 a yard for it. Mrs. Washington Pye (examining it) --So kind of you, darling! Just ex­ actly the same quality that I saw in Tape & Button's yesterday, for one- fifty I--Puck. The Use of Oxygen* One of the industries now followed in London is that of separating and stor­ ing oxygen from the atmosphere. This curious industry, says the Court Jour­ nal, has an application in the maturing of spirits and the improvement of beer. This is far from being the only applica­ tion of pure oxygen, for which the price is good, but it is notable, and no doubt distillers and bonders will give heed to the discovery. * It is said that oxygen, in contact with spirits, accomplishes in a few days what is done by from three to five years by nature. The oxygen gets rid of the fixsel °il quickly, and as this is the most injurious property of spirits the con­ sumer has an interest in the matter as well as the producer. A maturing effect is also produced on beer by ad­ mixture with oxygen, and obviously this gas is of high value for the whole tribe of offervescing mineral waters. A. Warm-Blooded Empress. It is said that Queen Victoria is so fond of fresh air that she is in the habit of sleeping with open windows even in the winter, and that during the day time her appartments at Windsor Castle are so cold that her attendants and visitors are almost frozen. The Empress Maria Theresa of Austria was more peculiar in this respect. Her apartments were very rarely heated. She exposed herself to the draughts without falling a victim to rheumatism. Her writing-table, even in winter, was close to the open window, and the falling snow often drifted into the apartment and fell on the paper on which she wrote. It frequently hap­ pened that the hands of the hairdresser were partly frozen while attending to he majesty's coiffure, and that the ladies surrounding her august person literally trembled with cold.--N. T. Graphic. THE procrastinator cannot get into the land of prosperity because he haa i no "right-awa*." CABtO. 1)ryw of Pl*jr*tm Who Crowd Arbuaa Tables and RIRJI Th«!r Money. Do you see that lifttfc white-hail-edi woman at the trente-efc-qaarfnte tab!*,-' with piles of gold and banknotes eeat>> tered around her in such confusion that you wonder how she knows which are hers and which her neighbors'? She wears the biggest diamonds in the room and plays the most recklessly, un-' daunted by evil eyes or any other eyes. She is a Duchess, who last year lost 17,000 francs in one night. This year she will lose as much or more, and next year come again, and keep on ooming as long as she has any money left, or can borrow any of her friends. That lady at the table near the center of the room, at whom the croupiers look disapprovingly, as if afraid she will "break the bank," must now have a piece of the hangman's rope around her neck, although it is said that last year she lost £8,000; but she ia rich, and it does not matter as much to her as to the girl beyond, who risks her all and loses, and then with a look sad to see upon so young a face, searches vainly in her purse for another five-franc piece with which to try again. Will she learn wis­ dom from her defeat of to-day ? Not at all. She has tasted the poison which is. working like madness in her brain, and if she cannot borrow she - will perhaps pawn some of her jewelry or dress and come again to-morrow, hoping to do bet­ ter than to-day. Wera she a man she might at last, when irretrievably ruined, possibly kill herself. But she is a wo­ man, and as such holds her life more sacred. Down at the end of the table is a woman so old, or blind, or both that she does not know when she has lost or won, and has to be prompted by her friends, who tell her where to pvit her money and when to take it op. Pitiable spectacle of womanhood, with bleared eyes and shaking hands, which scarce can hold the gold she is squandering so wantonly! But to me she is not so pitiable as that fair young English girl whom I watched for a week a"d by whom I stood when she made her first venture with a five- franc piece and lost! But there were more in her purse, and with the excla­ mation "I must win" she pot them down one after another . until she struck a fortunate number and got -back all she had lost, while I could not help thinking that it would have been far better for her if every drop of the ball had been against her. She was so pretty and sweet to look at, and apparently so fresh and in­ nocent, that I felt irresistibly drawn to­ ward her, and watched her day after day as she became more accustomed to the place, and, alas, more accustomed to the unhealthy moral atmosphere shp was breathing. It seemed to take the freshness from her face, ' which became flushed and red with excitement, while her eyes lost their shy, modest look, and met the eyes of those around her unhes­ itatingly. How I pitied her, for I knew that no girl could sit at a gambling table, side by side and shoulder to shoulder with some of the worst men and women in the world, and leave the place as pure as she entered. Beside her was her mother, with a face more like a Madonna than a gam­ bler at Monte Carlo. And there they were, day after day, and night after night, losing and winning, winning and losing, and when Sunday came there was not in church a more devoted wor­ shiper than that young girl whom for days 12 o'clock in the morning and 11 o'clock at night had found at the gam­ ing table, and, saddest of all, I heard she was there again Sunday afternoon, almost before the prayer she had said in the morning had died upon her lips. At Monte Carlo there is no Sunday so far as the Casino is concerned. The concerts, which are free, and the play go on as usual. The trains come loaded from Nice and Mentone, and the tables are just as crowded with anxious, fever­ ish, excited people as if there was no God and no commandment to keep His Sabbath holy.--Springfield Bepubli- can. " . ' '* i with Dominoes. - This is a capital feat to perform in the parlor: Place twenty dominoes on a table in a row, face downwards, avoiding as far as possible, the appearance of any spe­ cial arrangement, but, at the same time being careful that the points on the first domino (at your left) shall amount to twelve, the points on the second, to eleven, on the third, to ten, and so on, decreeing by one point until you reach the thirteenth domino, which will be a dcuble blank. The points on the re­ maining seven are a matter of indiffer­ ence. Propose, in beginning your ex­ periment, to give the company a speci­ men of your ability as a "Seer of the Unseen," or something of that sort. Now leave the room, first requesting the audience to remove, in your absence, ,j any number of dominoes, not exceeding I twelve, from the right to the left hand j of the row, in other respects retaining the order. When you return to the six* a blank, a double blank;« one, al­ ways a blank and one. •HwiiiBiiBtaUy managing «te or two mmm •tfif merely at haphazard, the effect bf >th« trick will be heightened. Tltftre is one thing very necessary to Wactiefi in both of the tricks explained here, that is, dexterity. It is akk> necessary to use your con- versatio^al powers to keep the attention of the audience from the dominoes, while lycMB are arranging them.--Yankee Blade. . • • • • Proud French Women. Under the first empire only two fe­ male nominations were made to the legion of honor, and these were both from military achievements, says the Pari* Megister. The one was given to "Virginie Chesquire, who had dressed herself as a man and taken the place of her brother, who was not strong enough to stand a soldier's life. Enrolled in the twenty-seventh regiment of the line, she displayed great bravery, and ob­ tained use mnk of sergeant, her sex not being discovered until she was wounded in the breast while rescuing her colonel from the enemy. The second was given to Marie Sohell- ing, a Belgian woman, who enlisted out of liking for a military career, who fought at Jemmapes, "where she re­ ceived six sabre cuts; at Austerlitz and at Jena, where she was wounded twice. In 1806 she was appointed to the rank of sub-lieutenant, and Napoleon dec­ orated her with his own hand in 1808, granting her at the same time a pension of 700 francs. The third women dec­ orated was a Sieter of Charity, Soeur Marthe, in 1815, while the other decora­ tion given to a woman between 1816 and 1861 was that accorded to a cantoniere named Perrofc From 1851 to 1865 eight ribbons were given to women, among them being that which the Emperor Napoleon fixed to the breast of Rosa Bonheur, and since the war the legion of honor has been less sparingly distributed, one of the recipients being Lady Pigot, in recognition of the ambulance work she did in 1870-'71. Altogether seven wo­ men have been decorated for their ser­ vices on the battle-field, but no fewer than twenty of the thirty-four (the total number decorated) have been Sisters of Charity, while the only artist has been Rosa Bonheur. One of the latest recipients of the red ribbon has been Madame Dieulafoy, the intrepid wife of the explorer in North Africa.--Ex­ change* Height of the Tower of Babel. The reputed height of this structure has at times been greatly exaggerated, some Jewish authorities fixing it at twelve miles and Jerome quoting con­ temporary assertions for its being four miles. These estimates, however give way to the sober testimony of Strabo, who states the height at 600 feet, which is the figure generally accepted. The distinction of forming the remains of the Tower of Babel has been claimed for three masses of ruins in or near Bab­ ylon ; but the majority bf oompetent an­ tiquarians hav# declared in favor of Birs Nimround, which stood in Borsippa, a suburb of Babylon, eight miles distant .from that oity. Sir R. K. Porter showed that the summit had been exposed to intense vitrifying heat which most have been the result of fire operating from above, probably in the form of lightning, thus confirming the tradition of its de­ struction by fire from Heaven. Sir H. F. Rawlinson discovered that it con­ sisted of seven stages of brickwork on an earthen platform, each stage being of a different color. Its ruins still rise 153 feet above the level of the plain. According to Herodotus the Tower of Ba­ bel was adorned by colossal images and statues of solid gold, the value of which he rated at 21,000,000 sterling, probably as great an exaggeration of their worth as twelve miles was of the height of the , i . i . Jus t Hto Way. "There goes a singular'man," ob­ served a Woodward avenue grocer as an old gentleman passed out with a pack­ age Ijnder Lis a?Ja. ' ^ "How singular?" „ * "He always begins bnsiness by ask­ ing if we have any strawberries. In season we say yes, and out of season we say no. If we have 'em he doesn't buy; if we don't have 'em he looks disappointed for a minute and then gives his order. His trade is worth $3,000 a year to me. I lost it once and had to apologize to him." "How?" "I had a smart Aleok of a clerk *tie replied that we had no strawberries but lots of chestnuts, and the old man walked out as stiff as a ramrod. I apologized, discharged the clerk, and he returned. He's my strawberry as long as we use him well."--Detroit Free Press. A Wall of Files. Among fly-pests, the sand-flios of the Egyptian deserts are described by a late writer as taking the palm. This observer passed Fort Tel-el-Kebir on pinion of our many patrons, after five she is sick low prevent in the Corner." jbjeot to most of the dis will nflf-- Mi0* the hnman race, and sick a fever £«« its toilet, and has hS '̂ I1̂ lecfc8 he-r and a trifling remedy some more serious disord A city cat should have raw a d a y , i n t h e m o r n i n g . A t m g ^ . - her a hearty meal of warm breaoP n milk, or gravy in the place of mm. Always remember a cat will eat most anything, if it be warm and well moist­ ened. Have milk and water where she can get it, and in a cleat! dish, for Mrs. Puss is dainty, and will scorn to drink dust covered milk or water as quickly as you would. A country cat, who has plenty of outdoors, should have meat twice a day, a piece as big as an egg each time, and cut into mouthfuls. Kidney or liver is their favor, but too much of the latter or of oysters may cause diarrhoea. They must have grass andpleanty of it; it is as necessary to them as salt is to us. It would pay in the oity to raise grass and catnip in a box for these pets. Should a cat be attacked by fits or convulsions, throw over her a shawl or rug to prevent damage to herself or furniture; a whiff of chloroform, either, ammonia, or, lacking these, an onion freshly cut, will often give relief. Should she continue to cry piteously, with eyes wide open and glaring, pro­ tect the hands with gloves, grasp her firmly in the shawl and with a sharp pair of scissors snip the end of her ears; a few drops of blood will be sufficient; let her stay in a cool, dark place for several days; feed sparingly with warm bread and milk. One of the most valuable remedies for cats and dogs is sweet oil. One- half tablespoonful in their milk is sel­ dom refused. In cases where poison is suspected it is the best and certainly the easiest remedy. For inflamed eyes apply awash of warm milk or weak borax water. A cat will catch cold, sneeze, and have all the symptoms of influenza; greese the upper part of her nose and administer one-half teaspoon of castoria or balsam; if she has a sore throat wrap it with fianel wet with Arabian Balsam and keep her away from the children. Cats with kittens should not be roughly handled or frightened, or she will miscarry or suffer during confine­ ment. Do not kill all her babies; leave her at least one until such time as it can eat other food than its mother's milk. Should her kittens die and the mother suffer from swelled breasts, rub them with camphorated oil, or even warm lard, and give aconite and bella­ donna alternately. Some people and doctors are ashamed to describe for cats, but there can be no loss of dig­ nity in such a humane act. Pussy will be a silent ghost gliding through the house, or she will be an in­ telligent, affectionate friend (not a slave like a dog), according as she is neg­ lected or loved and cared for. I cannot close without a protest against the cruelty of leaving a cat to "get its own living" while the house is closed during the summer months. Give her shelter, and pay the butcher and milkman to feed her if there is no friend or home where she can be carried.--Good Housekeep­ ing. The Farmer's Pet, the Heathen's Dread. It is a remarkable fact that the an­ cient Jewish regulations respecting arti­ cles of diet, seem to have descended in some manner to barbarous or half-civil­ ized tribes and nations found in widely separated portions of the globe. For example, while the American farmer counts his riches by the number of his hogs, and fairly dotes upon his fatten­ ing pigs, the Hottentot despises the scavenger, and turns from the beast with loathing, to dine upon a monkey or an ant-eater. The Hindoo would as soon think of becoming a cannibal as of eating swine's flesh. It is stated that the Indian mutiny so frightful in its re­ sults, originated in a -tear among the Sepoys that they were to be forced to eat pork. A lady had an amusing ex- perio^ce in India which illustrates the Hindoo sentiment 0£ the subject of the pig. Arriving Very late at a gi'and din­ ner party, she and her husband saw the first course being carried in as they went down the hall. A row of kitma- gars were drawn up, waiting to follow the dish into the dining-room, and serve their respective employers; and as the dish of ham was carried by, each man gravely and deliberately spat upon it! Needless to say, Mrs. B and her lord waited for the second course. Antfttonr. In Bothe one expects to see things Roman; so we are not surprised to find that the Capitol, the Vatican, the La- teran, the semi-public collections and many private collections all have an Antinous to show--either in statue, bust, or bas-relief. So, too, since all Italy once was Roman, we may expect to find elsewhere than at Rome his deli­ cate beauty represented,--in Florence, S^d Venice, Naples, wherever, indeed, the gems of ancient art have been collected. There is no mistaking the type. To it once is to recognize it always, ir appearing as Bacchus, with a and thyrsurj; as Mercury, f the gods; as Hercules; as Harpocrates, the god of ptian divinity; or ^et HOMES' MERIIY MOMENTS. -Iueedtheeev«y -The «u& if Ladies' rin« Wtu keep for sale the Phelan & Yorkey ister hand made Shoes in the various ityles, sizes and 1*»M« Duy juM idee FOOto vow iftttv flio n?inn ® of vciy 8<itisl«iotory GXPORITJUCTJ* Men' room, you may aaaress tne audience in jhoe8( $160i r, 23> $i50 t»H ^ Ladies' a semi-burlesque style, something like m Shoes/ all sizes, from Si.25 to 00 the following: Jlren's Shoes, all sizes, kid or gotfk, 50c "Ladies and gentlemen: As I have already said, I have a strange " power, for I will tell you how many dominoes you have displaced, and, furthermore, I will read the spots on them, although they cannot be seen by you. For in­ stance, this domino," taking one of the row with your finger, "represents the number which have been moved in my absence. Will some one please tell me what the number was ?" Suppose some one says the number of dominoes displaced was seven. "Seven," you say; "all ripjht;" and turning over the domino that you are touching, show that it adds to seven in its face. You next remark: "It is equally as easy for me to tell the denominations of the others; for instance, this is two, this-'is nine, this is a double six, this is a double blank," turning over each "dom­ ino, to show the correctness of your va­ rious assertions. This feat is wonderful to those who don't know how it is done. All that you have to do is to count, seoretly, the row of dominoes as far as th6 thirteenth from the left hand, or the eighth from the right hand, and the points of that domino will be, invariably, the same as the number removed from the right to the left of the row. Of course, you do not know, until you turn up the domino, what the number really is, but you must not let the au­ dience know this. After the domino has been turned up, it is easy (as you know the original order of the thirteen of which it forms one), to tell two or three, either side of it. Thus, a total of seven may be either six and one, five and two, or four and three. But there are two or three dominoes, of which, if yon know the total, you may know the combination of points also; for instance, a total twelve must always be a doable i't forget to see o«r new Snsg Proof pool, with coating of llubbor, winch is I to outwear any other boot ever nire ltubber or Gum Rubber.; i>oin jaw. When an im­ pression is made on the sensitive sur­ face of the skin it is conveyed by an ex- citor nejtve to the spinal cord, and is there reflected back on the muscles by a corresponding motor nerve, the mo­ tion being involuntary, like that of any other mechanism. Chattering of the teeth, as well as shivering and sneezing, is nature's effort (to restore the circula­ tion of the blood which has accumu­ lated in the larger near the heart. Railroad Accidents of a Year. There were 1,985 accidents on the railroads in the United States during 1888. There were 804 collisions, 1,082 derailments, and 990 other accidents. Of the collisions 404 were from the rear, 311 were butting; 90 on crossings. De­ fects in road caused 189 derailments; defects of equipment caused 148, and neglect in operating caused 117. The killed numbered 697, of whom 434 were employes and 1G8 passengers.--Troy Times. -• HE (reading)--The sailors threw up wieir hats when kelson came on board. She--Poor fellows! They must have been awfully sick. <£ f ^ ' n> IMS Elevators for Home Use. The ingenious plan proposed by a Berlin inventor, of a simple and inex­ pensive elevator for private dwellings in place of the ordinary staircase, has attracted some attention as a long-felt desideratum. It is on the principle of the inclined railway, £hd the motive power is furnished by the city water, which is applied in the cellar; each flight has its seperate chair, so that, for example, one person can ascend from the first to the second story while an­ other is on his way from the second to f^iie third, or still another is descending from the fifth to the fourth. The chair, being of the width of the human body, requires but little space, and still leaves r a free passage for any who wish to walk \ up or down, instead of riding. It is set in motion by a simple pressure upon :>ne of its arms, while after it has been 5used it slides back to the bottom step, its descent being regulated in such a manner that the carrying of a passenger [is a matter of entire safety. ^ Transportation In Corea. It is doubted if, with the exception of jthe King's carriage., the artillery at the 'palace, and some lumbering ox-carts used for the transportation of heavy -stones' and timbers, there are any wheeled Vehicles in Corea, saving, however, the elegant dog-cart of one of the missionaries,so narrow and torturous are the streets of Seoul and atrocious the country roads. Concerning the sedan chairs, however, the natives have a curi­ ous saying when they see a foreigner's chair. If it be a brand new one it is a missionary who is coming; if only re­ spectable, it belongs to one of the for­ eign Legations. If old and shabby, it most be that of the American Minister. --Seoul letter. A Costly Work. It lias cost the city of New York for each lineal foot of the sea wall now in process of construction under the super­ vision of the Dock Department $1,333.33, and some of it over $2,000. In the twenty-eight miles contemplated there are 147,840 feet, which, at the rate of, say $1,400 a foot, would cost that city tiie enormous sum of $206,976,0001 CJESAB declined a crown, but perhaps he knew it was counterfeit and wouldn't pass. whe vine messeng VertuBpras^ silence; as an i- J again as himseU,^^ on|y m3" own at­ tributes of peerles*wmth beauty. In every character tnb^is the' same ex­ quisitely molded form, Handed rather than sinewy; the same greSv,breadth of shoulder, and columnar throal support­ ing the lovely, drooping, flavr**-iike head. \ In every character, too, the face wears a singular expression of sadness, which is rather to be felt than understood. He alone could explain it, and the sad sweet curve of his lips will never part to dis­ close the secret. It is a sadness as mysterious as the mirth of Da Vinci's Mona Lisa, on whom we gaze with a sort of fascination. Each moment seems to promise that the next she will tell us why she smiles; yet the years pass by, and still the promise is unfulfilled. With Antinous it is different. We rec­ ognize the mystery, but also recognize that "his soul, the Harpocrates he personated, seems to hold one finger on closed lips in token of eternal silence." We know very little of his history beyond the record transmitted in art. That he was beautiful; that he was of Greek descent, and born in Bithynia some year between 100 and 110 A. D.; that the Roman Emperor Hadrian met, loved, and made him (probably) his page, or, at least, gave him some post from which he gradually rose into the position of chief favorite and friend-- this is about all of which we can be sure. The Emperor was more than twice his age--a keen, Greek-cultured man, of scholarly sympathies and impulsive action. He made mistakes--as who does not?--was often blame-worthy, tried often to atone for his errors; but, somehow, failed to win much love. At last he met this beautiful youth, and, widely as they were separated by worldly place and age, they soon grew close to each other's hearts. Hadrian had been a great traveler, and now planned an­ other extended tour. He would visil the more remote parts of his great em­ pire, with the boy Antinous for a com­ panion. Tne young would learn from the older man; while the old relived his youth through sympathy with the younger. So, together, they traveled through Greece and Asia Minor, Syria, Pales­ tine, and Arabia; reached Egypt, began a voyage up the Nile, came to Besa,-- and there was the end, for there Antin­ ous was drowned! It was an accident, some say; but there are gloomier con­ jectures in history; one, that Hadrian had consulted an oracle, and learned that his own life was in danger unless another life should be given in exchange. Whereat, say some and hint others, he sacrificed his favorite. But probably this is a scandal without foundation. A more rational explanation is that the youth, learning the peril which threat­ ened his patron, voluntarily devoted himself to death, to avert that doom from the other. Greater love hath no man than to lay down life for a friend. Heathen and Christian alike realize this; and Antinous may have felt that to the world his own existence could count foi little, while Hadrian's was all-important. --Eleanor C. Lewis, in St. Nicholas. What is Patent Flonr I Patent flour is not any particular pai4 of the wheat berry; it is not as strong as the! bakers' of clear flour, and stronger than the low grade. We fre­ quently hear it/said tliat the patent flour is only made up of the harder and more glutinous portions of the wheat. The low gra'de, or the flour from next the bran would come as near meeting this definition as does the flour from the middlings in the present system oi manufacture. The old system ol grinding with the millstone, and espe­ cially the low-grinding system, the mid­ dlings were that portion of the wheat which was best calculated to resist the action of the millstone, the hardest part; the present system of making middlings by corrugated rolls does not depend upon the varying hardness oi the different portions of tlje wheat to make middlings. Where the wheat it harder it will be more brittle, but this is merely an incident. Middlings mak­ ing is the principal object in reducing wheat by corrugated rolls, and by this method the wheat is broken into mid­ dlings, not ground into flour, with a portion remaining as middling because of its hardness. For this reason patent flour made according to the present method does not necessarily mean floui from any particular part of the wheat berry, as ordinarily understood.--Tht Millstone. *• A "Fab" in Nursemaids. There is a "fad" in nursemaids, and literally will it be a "cold day" for the sharp-eyed, keen-witted "bonne," it the Russian maid, a new departure in ser­ vice, meets with the favor she antici­ pates. The Russian nurse-maid is al­ ready an imposing feature in more than one aristocratic household. To look at, she is all that is delightfully pictures­ que. She wears a long, loose garment of deep blue cloth, bordered with a band of crimson, and on her head is the veri­ table Russian headgear, a creation oi much-puffed white tulle, from which depend, all the way to the bottom ol skirt, two wide lengths of crimson moire ribbon. So looks the Russian maid; how acts the Russian maid remains to be further tested. So far, though, she has been found trustworthy and capa­ ble. Another fashion, "a la Russe," is that of dressing children for out-dooi exercise entirely in white wool and white fur. The little ones, so arrayed, look like tiny wraiths as they speed along over the frozen ground, through the crisp atmosphere.--Table TalM, What Oar Weather Costs U§ The United States pays $900,000 a year for its weather service, Great Britain pays $80,000, Germany $56,000, Russia $65,000, Austria $10,000, Swit­ zerland $6,000, France $60,000. And, though no European nation attempts to do as much as we do, or takes genera] observations more than once a day, the percentage of verification of predictions is rising there, which is hardly the case ! in this country. Our weather service ' with its great cost and thorough organ­ ization, ought to be the' beat in the world.. THE baker's hymn hour. A FASHIONABLE plate ceiver.. THE latest thing front hall. . •THE saddest words of TONGUE MWD Are these--your rent is due again. - j You never know how sure-footed* dog is until you attempt to put him on his back in a tub erf water. He is tben all feet and eyes. WIFE--Mrs. Smith told me--think erf the audacity of that woman--that she loved yon! Husband--She must be crazy. Wife--Well, I should think aol BELINDA--Have you read Mr. Pen man's last poem on " Growing Old" ? It a really charming. Mabel--No; but I will do so. I'm sure you ought to be • good judge. EDITOR--What kind of a looking man is it who wants to see me ? Office Boy --I can't tell whether he's a politician or a prize-fighter. "Both sorts are harmless. Admit him." THE St. Louis papers say there is a man in that city who seizes girls on the street and forcibly kisses them. In St. Louis? Poo* fellow ; crazy no doubt. How he must suffer.--Burdette. MRS. HASHOKOTT--That new boarder need not try to make, me think he is a bachelor. He is either married or ft widower. Billings--How can you tell? "He always turns his back to me when * he opens nis pocketbook to settle." "An! Madeline, Madeline!" he sighed, "I wish that you and I were in yon dis­ tant twinkling planet where true love becomes immortal." " I wish you were," she replied, and,- looking at her watch, said: "The nights are awful short." "WHAT the deuce does Mrs. ••• wear so many puffs and things for?" asked a lady at the Von Schroeder ball last week. "Why," was the reply, "she has indulged so much in fashionable dissi­ pation that Bhe has the delirium trim­ mings." MISS BEAUTY--Do you remember that French count who followed me from place to place and declared he was dying of love for me? Well, his family have put him in a lunatic asylum. Rival Belle--I am not surprised. I al­ ways did think he was crazy. NOT impossible--"Speak French? Well, I guess I do. Do you suppose I lived in Paris five years for nothing?" "I didn't know. Judging from the way j you live with your wife's father here, I I didn't know but what you did live in s Paris five years for nothing." . AKXIOUS Mother--Why, my dear. in ^ tears! What has happened?" Married Daughter--I--I got angry at Arthur this morning and said a lot of--of mean things and then he said a lot of meandr •; ones, and--and I couldn't think of any | thing mean enough to say back, I couldn't! , FIRST Messenger Boy (excitedly)-- Say, Cully, come into this toy store and i see the nigger dance on a box an' torn summersets widout losin' step. Second Messenger Boy (solemnly)--I've got a ^ message for a doctor--case of life and ; death--and can't stop more'* a half ^ hour or so. & ( ^ • FIRST Stranger (in street-car)--I see 5 you in the cars quite regularly,, but sel- ;; dom at this hour. Second Stranger-- ^ No, this is an extra tripi My wife j wished me to go to a store and match some trimmings for her. "Ah! Glad I S met you. Here's my card. I am adi« vorce lawyer."--New York Weekly, ^ "I SEE Miss Smith has eloped %ith ^ the professor bf mathematics up at the ^ college. "So? That's what comes of ,i. being stuck on warm weather." "Eh?" | "The summer--she likes the summer." ^ "Oh, yes! I was at a ball last night and found a rose. That was the last | rose of some her^ too."--Chicago I Ledger. , { ^ HE--I know I'm not bwilliant, Miss ;; Mattie, but it's hahdiy faiah to call me ^ 'the missing link, as Miss Mentwell did, ^ do you think? Miss Mattie--Of course not, Mr. Empte, for you are not missing t and haven't f)een all evening, have you? fee (relieved)--l$b, I haven't and I'll just go ovah and tell her so, don't ^ow l" know.--Washington Critic. V* i | ; JIGGERS--Darn an ignoramus any- * how. Wiggers--What's the matter now? Jiggers--I was calling on little Miss i Pertly last sight and she asked what ^ the phrase "indulging in osculatory ex- ^ ercises" meant. Said she found it in a / novel. Wiggers--Well, did you tell ^ her ? Jiggers--I didnt know what it | meant until I looked through the die | tionary this morning. 1 ' . " AH, see yon pale-faced moon, Miss v Clara. What a charm it gives the night. How sweet to sit beneath its soft translucent light with one whose heart beats responsive to your own, and---" "That's all pretty, Mr. Flirtabit* but what do you propose to do? Here we are six nights out and ypu haven't said anything definite yet, It's about time v to get down to business if you mean to ' this trip."--Ocean. HUSBAND (kindly)--My dear, you have nothing decent to wear, have you? V/ife (with alacrity)--"No, indeed, I haven't. Fd be ashamed to be Seen anywhere. My newest party dress has been worn three times already." "Yes, that's just what I told Biifkins when he '; offered me two $5 tickets for the opera > to-night for $9. I knew if I took them ;f they'd ©nly be wasted. So I jut got | one/ Well, I must hurry." THE WAY TO MAKE 1CONBT: ^ A moment of leisure had comp his way, And rather than idleness choosing .• The coal dealer's office boy sat one day, ' "" A book with attention perusing. *'• >' ;l . Then asked his employer; what is the boolt,; That you take such an interest in, sonnjjY "* *:: The boy at the title page gave a ioolt L' ; And answered, "The Way to Make Moneyff f ,1 Of plans to make money there Isn't a one %V " Beats mine, I am oonfldent, sonny; . ,,i Give eighteen hundrod^onnda to the ton, And you'll find money. --Botton Courier. tbe weigh toawk* The Cause of Dizilness. Darwin explains the origin of dizzi­ ness in persons while looking down from a lofty position in the following way: He says that in learning to walk, we judge of the distance of the objects we approach by the eye, and by observing their perpendicularity determine our own; and that at all times we determine our want of perpundicularity,' or incli­ nation to fall, by attending to the appa­ rent motion within the sphere of dis­ tinct vision. Hence, when we are upon the summit of a high cliff, tower, or other eminence, and look down, we be­ come dizzy, because the Ejects below are out of the sphere of distinct vision, and we are obliged to balance our­ selves by the less accurate feeling of our muscles. None Small Enough. Amateur Actress--I'd like topnrohase a scrap-book, sir. I've decided to paste up all the flattering notices I get. Dealer--I'm sorry, Miss, but if that's what you want it for I'm afraid those we've got are all too large.--Detroit Free Press,