The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

mm 4m. - i ' , \i J . , -. r, '• m , - ' I0T1XQ DAT. BY MATE THORN. t Everjbodj -will tell job thai b« hates to move. Indeed, it seems that there wold not befall a man a calamity greater than the necessity of changing his habitation. I And yet he is always doing it. He commenees home-hunting, by odd *, • jobs, as early as February. Hia wife, &v>;who is even more averse to moving than / .he is, gets her confidential friend to as- sist her, and every pleasant afternoon | they go out and look for houses. They come home at night so tired that they • can't sleep, but the next day they are jr ^ready to start out afresh, and they will |L ; „ .walk miles to hunt up-a tenement that pfsy < they know they could never pay for, and jjk would fiot live in it if they could pay ^or it; and they will question the agent about the plumbing and the neighbor­ ly *' hood, and beat him down in his price, ||y jtist as pertin aoioualy as though they expected to move into that house next j jL*week . • • f" "j People who are going to move always |~ . .expect to better their condition. They j. look for larger closets, loftier ceilinged g* 1 rooms, more spacious chambers, better Iff'f facilities for everything, and lower rates, fcj jLower rates for something 10 per cent more desirable. jf For a week before the first day of May, which is the time when most New p^v 'York people change their quarters, " truckmen and men who do jobbing are ' in clover. They make their own prices, W -and take their own time, and if they fe?'-" t' . "ycrk by the hour they generally take I,* ^"tim® enough. , If you hire one of them by the job, i;!.,' he will manage to break ., most of your ^ - looking-glasses, and a good share of ft * your crockery; and when you expostu- . late, he will tell you that it isn't his 1^. ' . 'fault if you do not know how to pack ', :goeda. And he will probably add that If;:, he knows his business, and then he will Si jretire to the other side of his cart, and I? „; with his comrade exchange a few words | > ^ which you do not hear, and it is luoky § "for all parties that you do not. When you go to set up your house- \hold goods, you will find a great many j •. • .of them missing. The hammer and |V r screw-driver, which you thought , you §«'• - jput in a safe place where you could put It!' '/[your hand upon them at a moment's | warning, are so safe that neither you, nor your wife, nor her aunt, nor her I", /" cousin, who have come to give their val- r»v„ uable advice on moving, oan find them. You are all cross and tired, and hun- --oh, so very, very hungry, and no of anything hot tul that stove as fitted to its new place, and thp old l^iv.'Jtipip® splieed into the new, and a fire v * ^kindled, and nobody knows where the matches or the kindlings were put, and' it is half a mile to the nearest store. ® generally rains when anyone is Mj" jf moving, which adds to the prevailing £• •; «disoomfort. The house is damp and the smell of the soot is everywhere, and the food odors which the outgoing family at*. _*l*ia,ve ieffc behind them, hover in dark -land melancholy corners, like strong- smelling ghosts of dead and gone din- jners, •EM^oiir bed does not feel natural, the !'-windows are all in the wrong place, "there lire strange noises everywhere, the blinds creak, the cat mewa discon­ solately in the cellar, the children, if your landlord has allowed you to pre­ serve any. ory for comfort; and in your .troubled areams, even, you are painfully conscious that you have moved.-- York Weekly. "Bock" Beef. The reputed origin of book beer has been preserved in various legends which are current throughout Germany. At the town of Nuremberg, in the spring of a certain year during the feudal ages, Ian Easter church fair was being held, ^ . which was participated in not only by ': the townsfolk but by people from all the countryside as well. There came rid­ ing into the town a feudal lord of great renown, who brought with him from Munich a quantity of light beer, which fee praised very mnch. At the fair the people were drinking a dark beer, which the lord looked upon with dis­ dain. After much discussion upon the rela­ tive merits of the light and dark beers a wager was laid, to be decided the fol­ lowing year when fair time should come around again. Each side was to brew a quantity of its favorite beer, and by a practical test it was to be ascertained how many mugs of each could be drank before making the drinker drunk. The beer that would make a man drunk first was to be awarded the palm. At the next Easter fair the contest­ ants sat down together in the presence of a vast concourse to decide the wager, the lord drinking the dark-brown beer of the town and one of the lustiest of the Nurembergers drinking the lord's light beer. A citizen kept tally of the number of mugs emptied by each. The lord soon became hilarious and was Anally exalted to a state of roaring in­ toxication long before his rival began to feel the effects of the light beer. Ac­ cordingly the dark beer was declared the winner of the contest, and the townspeople sung the praises of their favorite beverage. "While the people were still assembled a young goat, which is known in Ger­ many as a buck or bock, broke into the space where the drinkers were sitting and rushing between the legs of the be­ fuddled lord threw him flat on his back, where, such was his condition, he was compelled to lie till he was picked up. From this circumstance comes the name of the dark-brown beer which still comes - ^ at Easter time. Another legend is to the effect that the Jesuit monks were accustomed to < hold a feast in the spring, at which they slaughtered a young goat or bock. To drink with this they brewed a dark, sweet beer which was considered a deli­ cacy and which, when it became known outside of the monasteries, was hailed with delight by the people, and under the name uf back beer became an es­ tablished institution. Sea Birds Still the Troubled Seas. "Oil on troubled waters" has proved to be so efficacious in smoothing rough seas, that mariners have begun to pro­ vide their ships with cans of fish oil and oakum bags to be used in times of great storms against the buffeting of the waves. Science might have learned lessons from Dame Nature centuries ago, and utilized oil for the safety of all men who "go down to the sea in ships." Lieut. Gibbons, of the navy, referring to the use of oil at sea, said a few days ago: "To close observers of sea-birds on their own element during bad weather it must have been shown that however rough the ocean may be where there are birds resting on the sea there is scarcely a riple to disturb them. All fish-eating birds, cape-pigeons, petrels, etc., ejeet oil from the mouth when captured; and, doubtless, they adont a similar expedient to aid them in stilling the waves when searching for food in the sea. In the South Atlantic ang South Faciflo oceans I have frequently witnessed aea-birds floating in spaces of seemingly quiet waters, when the sea. around was rough. The unusual smooth­ ness of the water where the birds floated was evidently indaesd by the quantities of oil deposited by them upon the water, either voluntarily or involuntarily.-- New York Tribune. • . Peculiar Coincidences. ^ .Both history and biography wpeftill of instances of strange coincidences, and a brief mention of some of the most re­ markable of them may be of interest The coincidences in names which are frequently met with are not only curi­ ous, but often quite amusing. It is odd that one of the most noted of American physicians should have rejoiced in the uncofimon name of "Physic." A notable sign in one of Boston's busiest streets bears the remarkable legend: "Cole & Wood, dealers in wood and coal," the members of this firm evidently having an unusually fine per­ ception of the "poetical fitness of thiiyrs." //New York lawyer named Doolittle. one© unwittingly entered into partner­ ship with a barrister named Steele, but a singular lack of clients soon became painfully noticeable, and it was found advisable to dissolve, the name of the firm proving altogether too suggestive to prospective patrons. A few years ago the writer noticed in the immediate vicinity of the residence of the late Wendell Phillips, in Boston, the somowhat «dd coincidence of a broker's sign bearing the firm name of "Wendell & Phillips." A few years ago, in Boston, a lawsuit was on the docket in which the parties bore the respective names of Daniel Webster and Catherine Le Roy. As these names are by no means common, the coincidence is somewhat striking, for Catherine Le Boy was the name of the lady whom the great Daniel Webster married. Many remarkable coincidences of dates have occurred, both in history of nations and of individuals. George Washington died the last hour of the day, the last day of the week, of the last month of the year, of the last year of the last century. It has remained, however, for a Vir­ ginia family to outdo all previous coinci­ dences of this nature. The father and mother were married on the 14th day of October; they have had nine children, all of whom were born on the 14th of October: five of the children are dead, and all five of them ceased to breathe on the 14th of October. The name of the head of this family is Joshua Frank­ lin, and their residence Glade Mountain, W. Va. Mr. Franklin says that he was a Confederate soldier; that he was captured twice by United States troops, and that he lost two brothers in the War; and that all four of these misfort­ unes occurred on the memorable 14th of October. In the neighborhood the family is regarded with superstition, and not a human being can be prevailed upon to stay in the house or on the premises on either day or night of the fatal date. It is scercely necessary to add anything further in regard to this story, save that its origin has been traiea tOft Chicago newspaper, a mere coincidence, doubtless but one from which we will leave the reader to draw his own inferences.--The Epoch, jflght Air For Better than Foul Air. An extraordinary fallacy is the dread 0f the night air. What air can we breathe at night but night air? The choice is between pure night air from without and foul air from within. Most people prefer the latter, an unaccounta­ ble choice. What will they say if it is proved to be true that fully one-half of all the diseases we suffer from are occa­ sioned by | people sleeping with their windows shut? An open window, most nights in the year, can' never hurt any one. In great cities night air is often the best and purest to be had in twenty- four hours. I could better understand shutting the windows in town during the night, for the sake of the sick. The absence of smoke, the quiet, all tend to make night the best time for airing the patient. One of our highest medical authorities on consumption and climate has told me that the air of London is never so good as after 10 o'clock at night. Always air your room, then, from the outside air, if possible. Windows are made to open, doors are made to shut, a truth which seems extremely difficult of apprehension. Every room must be aired from without, every passage from within.--Sanitary World. Photographing by Heat. It may be said that photographs can be taken by heat as well as by light. The fiction of the shorter waves of energy whioh we call light is quicker and sooner manifest to the eye than the ac­ tion of the long waves which we call heat; but the invisible heat rays in the solar spectrum have been photogrpalied. The slow action of heat in changing the molecular state of bodies is well known. It is probable that an emulsion could be formed which would give an im­ age of a hot black kettle in a dark chamber. The element of time, how­ ever, would probably be an important one. Indeed we are often presented with evidences of the picture-making facility of heat rays. A fern-leaf upon ice is soon represented, by the difference of molecu­ lar action. A stationary carriage-wheel standing in the sun upon the frozen ground is found to have left its photo­ graph upon the ground when it moves on.--Prof. John Trowbridge in Scrib- ner's. The Little Boys Doll In Sumter County, Georgia, Mrs. Mrs. Majors little boy, about 2 years old, has a very large cat that he plays horse with. They found the other day, near the house, a snake over three feet long. The cat tried to kill the snake, but the little boy took it away from the cat and carried it in his arms to his mother, telling her he had found a doll. His mother was so excited she oould no nothing but scream, which scared the child and caused it to drop the snake go to his mother. The snake was killed and found to be what is called a coach- whip. The little fellow did not want to give up his doll, but. his mother promised him another and he was satis­ fied. . Changed His Mind. Dramatic Author-- I have, a play here I should like *you to read. Manager (listlessly)--Ah!-- Fm afraid I can't give any time to it at, present. D. A.--It is an excellent play, I as­ sure you, though I'm afraid it has one fault. ^ * 4 * M.--What is that? : D. A.--Well, I think that in some parts it is a little off color, comes a lit­ tle too near being indecent, but that of course could easily be-- „ M. (eagerly)--Sit down and read it to TABLES WEIGHTS URES. AHD JOA8- Cubic 1,728 cuWo inches 1 cubic foot, 27 cubic feet 1 cubic yard, 128 cubic feet 1 cord (wood,) 40 cubic feet 1 ton (shipping,) 2,150.42 cubic inches 1 standard bushel, 268.8 cubic inches, standard gallon, % cubio foot four-fifths of a bushel. Surveyor's Measure.--7.02 inches 1 link, 25 links 1 rod, 4 rods 1 chain, 10 square chains or 160 square rods 1 acre, 640 acres 1 square mile. Long Measure--distance.--8 bar­ leycorns 1 inch, 12 inches 1 foot, 3 feet 1 yard, 51 yards 1 rod, 40 rods 1 far- long, 8 furlongs 1 mile. Dry Measure.--2 pints make 1 quart, 8 quarts make 1 peck, 4 pecks make I bushel, 86 bushels make 1 cauldron. Liquid, or Wine Measure.--4 "gills make 1 pint, 2 pints make 1 quart, 4 quarts make 1 gallon, 3l£ gallons make 1 barrel, 2 barrels make 1 hogshead. Apothecaries' Weight.--20 grains make 1 scruple, 3 scruples make 1 drachm, 8 drachms make 1 ounce, 12 ounces make 1 pound. Troy Weight.--24 grains make 1 pennyweight, 20 pennyweights make 1 ounce. By this weight, gold, silver and jewels only are weighed. The ounce and pound in this are the same as in Apothecaries' weight. Avoirdupois Weight.---6 drachms make 1 ounce, 16 ounces make 1 pound, 25 pounds make 1 quarter, 4 quarters make 100 weight, 2,000 pounds make 1 ton. Circular Measure. -- 60 seoonds make 1 minute, 60 minutes make 1 de­ gree, 30 degrees make 1 sign, 90 de­ grees make 1 quadrant, 4 quadrants or 360 degrees make 1 oircle. Time Measure.--60 seconds make 1 minute, 60 minutes make 1 hour, 24 hours make one day, 7 days make 1 week, 4 weeks make 1 lunar month, 28, 29,30 or 31 days make 1 calendar month (30 days make 1 month in com- ?uting interest,) 52 weeks and 1 day, or 2 calendar months, make 1 year, 365 days, 5 hours, 48 minutee and 49 seo­ onds, make 1 solar year. Square Measure.--144 square inches 1 square foot, 9 square feet 1 square yard, 30£ square yards 1 square rod, 40 square rods 1 rood, 4 roods 1 acre. Cloth Measure.--2i inches 1 nail, 4 nails 1 quarter, 4 quarters 1 yard. Miscellaneous.--3 inches 1 palm, 4 inches 1 hand, 6 inches 1 span, 18 inches 1 cubit, 21.8 inches 1 Bible cubit, 2$ feet 1 military pace. The Horse. The horse is a beast of burden and uncertain age. The horse sees the ups and downs of life as well as the best of us. In his youth he may run away with an actress and in his old age be com­ pelled to draw a clam wagon. In the pride of his strength he is fair to look upon, and costs money, and in after life his hide is worked up into calfskin boots. The horse is kind ard gentle when you are buying Viim. but kicks; balks, and bites until you to want sell him. There never was a vicious or invalid horse of­ fered for sale. In the horse market they are all trotters; in the harness they are something else. This animal plays an important part in the affairs of man. An English king once offered to swap hm kingdom for a horse, and no one would take him up; every one who had a horse was using him and preferred his beast to a king­ dom just then. The kingdom has since change hands. Horse-racing is one of the prominent Sports of the present century, run mostly in the interests of horse-jockeys and to amuse those whose wealth makes them uneasy. Any one who does not believe that riches can take into itself wings can get proof that it is liable to change hands mighty quick by staking some on a horse race. It may not be able to fly literally, but it leaves him just the same. The horse sometimes shows remark­ able fidelity to its master. This is illus­ trated by the story of the Arab and his steed. If I remember it aright, an Arab was out of his congressional dis­ trict putting on airs when some one pumped him full of lead. When the animal saw its master drop, without waiting for the Coroner, it caught the slack of hjs trowsers between its teeth and carried him honge. If you do not appreciate the fidelity and heroism of this act it is because you have never seen an Arab. The knowledge of the horse and its habitB is rapidly spread­ ing, and the day is not far distant when yon will see every man his own horse doctor.--Texas Siftings. He Was Too Brave. There is a wide distinction between bravery and foolhardiness. The latter was the quality exhibited by the hero of the following incident: He was marching a brigade of troops down to the front through Pennsyl­ vania, New York Zuaves recruited from the Brewery and Five Points, toughs from the word go. Innumerable dep­ redations were oomni itted all along the line of march. Finally, all else failing, Gen. Sickles issued an order that the next man breaking ranks to forage, without permission, would be shot. He was tiding down to the rear, when a man left the ranks, sprang over a wall and gathered an armful of turnips. He tried to" avoid seeing the •oldier, but, with an ail* of bravado, the tough got in front of his horse and sung out: "Fine turnips, general; have some?" "Did you hear the order read," said Sickles, sternly, "forbidding all forag­ ing?" , Yes." "Do you know that you are liable to be shot for disobeying orders ?" "Yes," answered the insolent marau­ der, "but--you, don't dare do it." C-r-rack; the soldier lay dead in his tracks. "I hated to do it," said the general afterward, "but if I didn't it was the end of discipline." There was no more breaking of ranks la that regiment.--Yankee Blade. An Honest Showman. Lord Stowell, who went to see every exhibition, provided it did not cost more than a shilling, once presented himself at the door of a show where a snake of some more or less gaudy color was on view. But the sight of so good a custo­ mer was too much for the conscience of the showman, who exclaimed, like Mrs. Cluppins, "My lord, I will not deceive you. It's only the old snake with a new coat of paint." The showman doubtless meant well, but he certainly acted ill. Harmless pleasures are not so common in life that even successful lawyers onght to be deprived of them without a cause. Lord Stowell would have gratified the lust of his eyes with­ out risking the salvation of his soul if only he had been permitted to gaze upon a skin where nature had been eclipsed by art. A certain amount of wholesome ignorance iff necessary to the enjoyment or even to the toleration of •ntteaeei.-rS'Ae Saturday Jtevieia, £ T BlUMTIPg APTICE, T1m» Humorist Oftr» 8o» to • Young M»n-"Dg«t llrfluf You're Bit." My son, your brow is clouded; some­ thing has happened that didn't and doesn't agree with you. • Were you neg­ lected in the invitations? Didn't you get. on any of the committees ? Were you overlooked in the convention? Hasn't the Secretary written you a personal letter asking your advice upon the cam­ paign ? Have you been coldly passed • over for men of less ability ? Do you feel that an intentional slight has been put upon you? Can you see clearly that everything is going wrong because you have not been consulted? Have you been directly snubbed by inferior people? I thought as much. At your time of life such things are very likely to occur. They used to happen with me, now and then. You will grow wiser as you grow older, unless you take the other chute; then you will grow more foolish, and there is only one cure for an old fool, my boy--that is, death. Ordinary death won't cure him, either. "Though thou shouldest bray him in a mortar among wheat with a pestle, yet will not his foclishness depavt from him." See how awfully dead he has to be killed ? Smashing him only makes him worse. E-at now, if any or all these slights have been put upon you, listen to me, my tender Telemachus. Don't show our sores. Oh, don't show your sores, "hey are not pleasant things to look at, nobody wants to see them, and they will heal much more rapidly and naturally and healthfully, if you don't expose them. Keep them covered. Don't show them to anybody but your surgeon, and don't show them to him unless you have to. And, don't look at them yourself. Leave them alone under the healing plasters of time and the cool compresses of forgetfulness, and you'll be sta-prised, some day when you do happen to think of them, to find that they have healed by the first intention without a scar. Don't tell people when you are hurt; don't tell everybody how keenly you feel a slight when, perhaps, there was no slight intended. Don't get yourself snubbed by people who never see you, and who don't know you and never think of you. And if you really are hit, and hit hard, it belittles* your manhood and drives away human sympathy when you lift up your voice and howl on the streets. Keep quiet about it. Don't whine: don't yell. One day, at the in­ vestment of "Vieksburg--it was on the memorable 22d of May--during a lull in the desultory skirmishing that preceded the assault, while I was lying close to the surface ot the great round globe which we inhabit and wishing I could get a little closer to it, we heard a tremendous howling and shrieking, and down the dusty road from the front came a blue jacked skirmisher on the trot, holding one hand up in the other, and the hand he was holding up had no thumb on it. It hurt like the mischief, I have no doubt, but it was only a thumb after all. and how the fellow was howling about it. He was a brave man or he wouldn't have been where he could h»Y§ lost tha| thumb, But y°« would think it Was the only thumb in the whole United States army and that no one else on the skirmish line had been hit that morning. So the soldiers saw only the funny side of the picture, and a perfect chorus of howls, in voci­ ferous imitation ot the man's own wails, .went shrieklng^^^ tKMft>the sarcastic line of ttie meu inl'il wln» waiting their turn to face death. In a minute another soldier came walking back from the skirmish line. He was walking slowly aud steadily, never a moan fell from his compressed lips, though they were whiter; than his bronzed faoe,' and he held his hand against his breast. The silence of the death chamber fell upon the line in an instant, as the figure of the soldier moved along the road with the air of a conqueror. Half a dozen men sprang to his side. Tenderly they laid him down in the shadow of a great oak; hia lips parted to speak a message to some one a thousand miles away, and the line was short one man for the com­ ing assault. He died of his hurt; but he died like a king. Oh, my boy! don't yell the lungs out of you over a mashed thumb, when, only three files down the line a soldier salutes his Captain before he faces about to go to the rear with a death bullet in his breast. You can't help getting hurt. There isn't a safe place in the whole line. There are cruel people in the world who love to wound us; there are thoughtless, heedless people who don't think; there are people who don't care, and there are thick skinned people, who are not easily hurt themselves, and they think mankind is a thick-hided race; in fact, the air is full of darts and arrows and singing bullets all the time, and it's dangerous to be safe anywhere. But when you do get hit--as hit you certainly will be--don't "holler"' any louder than you have to. Grin and bear it, the best you may. There are some people so badly hurt they must moan; do you forget your own hart in looking after them? Tea Cigarettes. The ingenuity of the women of Lon don and Paris in inventing new dissi­ pations is without limit. To the mor­ phine habit the devotees of sensational­ ism have now added the practice of smoking tea cigarettes. Special grades of the finest tea are used, and the effect of the cigarette is said to be delightful for fully an hour after one has been smoked. After that comes the reaction in the form of nervous trembling and excitability which is best subdued, according to a woman of title who rather goes in for all these things, by a thim­ bleful of frozen absinthe. Thus, by indstriously ringing the changes on morphine, tea cigarettes, and absinthe, with a few intrigues, some scandal and a raft of white hot French novels, the women of society manages to worry through the day. I wonder if the American girl's great success abroad is not due to her naturalness and health ? There is a lack of ruddy cheeks in Lon­ don now. Biding schools are empty, and the people who run gymnasiums where women formerly fenced and exer­ cised assert that the craze is now over. Perhaps it has gone to America. At all events, there is no such disease as mor- phineomania there, though it is a recog­ nized and widely prevalent ailment here.--London Letter. Afraid to Show Prices, Store Proprietor (to possible custo­ mer looking at the window)--Coom in, coom in, und I show you dose dings mineself. Possible customer (shyly)--I don't know about going in. I generally deal in stores that have their prioes plainly marked. Store Proprietor--Dot vas all right, mine friendt; bud it nod do vor us to mark our prices on dose dings. Our prices is so low dot beoples vould dink dey vas second-hand.--New York vmm BACK sfcuss." •tfag Ytows of tta* Kate Bab S. Cb HwUaad. limns of the newspapers appear led with proprietary medicine ad­ its. As we cast our eyo over brings to mind an article that, was ^by the late Dr. Holland in Scrib- 4y. He says: •"Nevertheless, it , many of the bast proprietary »t the day were more successful physicians, and most of them, it aemberod. were at 11 rut disoov- in actual medical practice, irer. any shrewd person, know- e, and foreseeing their popu- and advertises them, then, in f the bigoted, all virtue went surd? , ,_^^_ an appreciated the real mer- "<i*,pcflMFrernedie8, and the absurdity of thone that derided them beoauBe public attention was called to the artielo and the i vidonce of their cures. It the most noted physician should' announce that he had made a study of any certain organ or dis­ ease of, the body, or make his sign larger than the code size, though he may have practiced medicine and bean a leader in all medical counsels, notwithstanding all this, if ho should presume to advertise and de­ cline to give his discovery to the public, he would be pronounced a quack and a hum­ bug. although he may have spent, his entire life and all his available funds In perfecting his investigations. Again we say, "absurd." It an ulcer is found upon one's arm. and Is cured by some doar old grandmother, outside of the code, it will be pronounced by the medical profession an ulcer of little importance. But if treated uader the code, causing sleepless nights for a month, with the scientific treatment, vie., plasters, washes, dosing with morphine, arsenic and other vile substances, given to prevent blood poisoning or deaden pain, and yet the ulcer becomes malignant, and amputa­ tion is made necessary .it last, to save life, yet ail done according to the "isms" of the medical code, this is much more gratifying to the medical profession, and adds mora dignity to that distinguished order than to be cured by the dear old grandmother's remedfc This aprtears like a severe arraignment, yet we believe that it expresses the true standing of the medical profession to remedies discovered outside of their special "Isms." One of the most perplexing things of the day is the popularity of cer­ tain remedies, especially Warner's Safe Oure, which we And for sale everywhere. The physician of the highest standing is ready to concede its merits and sustain the theories the proprietors have made--that is, that it benefits in most of the ailments of the hnman system because it assists in put­ ting the kidneys in proper condition, thereby aidinR in throwing off the impuri­ ties of the blood, while others with l«ss honesty and experience deride, and are will­ ing to see their patient die scientifically, and according to the code, rather than have him cured by this great remedy. Yet we notice that the popularity of the medicine continues to grow year by year. The discoverer comes boldly before the peo­ ple with its merits, and proclaims them from door to door in our opinion muoh more honorably than the physician who, perchance, may secure a patient from some catastrophe, and is permitted to set a bone of an arm or a finger, which he does with great dignity, yet very soon after takes the liberty to climb the editor's back stairs at 2 o'clock In the morning to have ivfinnounced in the morning paper that "Dp: So-and-so was in attendance," thus securing for his benefit a beautiful and free advertisement. We shall leave it to our readers to say which is the wiser and more honorable. Nothing Happened. She had just returned from Europe, and was telling about the fip at a party, when an old baldhead inquired: "See any whales going or coming?" "No." "See any sharks?" "No." "See any icebergs ?" "No." "Pass any wrecks?" "No." "Rescue any oastaways?" "No." lie t-v- "Very stormy ?" "No.55 Fire or fever break aboard-- run short of fuel or provisions--meet with any accident to create alarm?" "No--nothing." "Humph! Why didn't you go by ox- oart, madam ?"--Detroit Free Press. A 8« Sick PaiMlitr, On the oeeaa, caret littla about a itorm. Be la positively Indifferent whether he Is washed over­ board or not. But, set right by a win*-gla«atel or two of Hoitetter's Stomach Bitter*, he feel* renewed Interest in his personal safety. This fine corrective neutralises in brackish water- often compulsorily drank on shipboard, to the grievous detriment of health--the pernicious Impurities which give rise to disorders of the stomach, liver, and bowels. To the mariner, tb« tourist, the Western pioneer and miner, th« Bitters is invaluable as a means of protection against malaria, when its seeds an latent in aii and water. To theelfect of overwork, mental or manual, it is a most reliable antidote, and to thi debilitated and nervous, it affords great and •peedlly fclt reUef and vigor. Lb the (toed Old Times. In the reign of Francis I. of France, there was a saying: "Lever a cinq, diner a neuf, Soaper a cinq, coucher a neuf, Fait vivre d' ana nonante et neuf which has been neatly translated as fol­ lows : "Rising at five, and dining at nine, Supping at five, and bedding at nine, Brings the years of a man to ninety and nine." The saying forms a curious commen­ tary on the very different hours kept by our ancestors and ourselves. How's This! We offer f ne Hundred Dollars Reward for any ease of Catarrh that can not be cured by taking Hall's Catarrh Cure. F. J. CHUNKY & CO., Props., Toledo, O. We, the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney for the last lo vears, and believe him perfectly honorable in all business transactions, sad financial, y able to carry out any obligations made by tbiir firm* - West & Truax, Wholesale Draggiste, Toledo, Ohio. Waiding, Kinnan A Marvin, Wholesale Drug­ gists. Toledo, Ohio. E. H. Van Hoesen. Cashier Toledo National Bank, Toledo, Ohio. „ Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucus surface a of the system. Fitoe 75c per bottle. Bold by all Druggists. A Diphtheria Core. A correpondent recommends tar smoke for a diphtheria cure. His treat­ ment is to put a few drops of tar, like that used in ship-yards, on a warm stove-lid, and to require the patient to inhale and swallow the smoke ten times a day for five minutes each time. He has been invariably successful in his experiments. Forced te Imvs Home. Over sixty people were forced to leave their homes yesterday to call for a free trial package of Lane's Family Medicine. If your blood is bad, your liver and kidneys out of order. If you are constipated and have head­ ache and an unsightly complexion, don't fail to call on any dru.gist to-duyfor a free sample of this grand remedy. The ladles praise It. Every one likes it. Large sise package, 60 cents. A St. Louis s dime museum man­ ager, in calling on a Chicago belle to make arrangements for her to exhibit her feet in his place, jnet with this response in answer to the question of salary: "For both feet, fifteen dol­ lars a week; for one, twelve dollars." Thkbb is no article made that purity is as important in as soap. Thousands, however, buy cheap, adulterated soaps to save a few eents. and lose dollars in rotted clothing: Dobbins' Electric ttoap, perteeUy pure, mom dollar*. . Maud--And what will you do now that poor Flossie is gone? Sibyl (mourning the demise<of a favorite poodle)--I shall marry! Governing Them? «f s Great Journalist. , I must confess that I have a theory which will perhaps be ridiculed, but which has governed my whole life. I believe in the constant intervention of a Supreme Power, directing not merely our destiny in general, but those of our actions which influence our desti­ ny. When I see that nothing in nature is left to chance, that immutable laws govern every movement, that the faint­ est spark which glimmers in the firma­ ment disappears and reappears with strict punctuality--I can not suppose that anything with mankind goea by chance,_ and that every individuality composing it is not governed by a defi­ nite and inflexible plan. The great men whose names escape oblivion are like the planets whioh we know by name, and which stand out of the mul­ titude of stars without names. We know their motions and destinies. We know at what time the comet moving in infinite space will reappear, and that the smallest stars whose existence escapes us obey the fixed law which governs^ the universe. Under various names, in changing circumstances, by successive and oo-ordinate evolutions, the great geniuses known to the world, those whose names have escaped obliv­ ion, reappear. Moses is reflected in Coafucius, Mohammed in John Huss, Cyrus live3 again in Cfesar, and Caesar in Napoleon, Attila is repeated in Peter the Great, and Frederick H. in Bis­ marck, Louis le Debonnaire in Philip VET., and Catalina in Boulanger. Ch*>v- j lemagne and Joan of Arc alone have ' not yet reappeared, the one to revive authority and the other la pudeur. Everything moves by a fixed law, and man is master of his own destiny only because he can thwart or promote by iiia own intervention and action the place he should fill and the path traced out for him by the general decree which regulates the movements of every oreat- ure.--M. de Blowits, in Harper's Magazine. Hommro lmb a Sreat Rejoicing te tke Coaowr YWaflp-- Crutches Laid Aaide Aft*r Twenty Xsan' Use. 1 have been afflicted with rheumatism twenty years. For the last ten years have been obliged to use crutches. Often my left hip and knee would entirely give out. Have expended a large amount of money for rem­ edies recommended as a cure for that terri­ ble disease; have used the most powerful liniments on my hip and knee to soothe the pain, that I might get a little sleep. My hip and knee had lost nearly all strength by the use of liniments, and I could get no help. I saw an advertisement of Hlbbard's Rheu­ matic Syrup, ordered half a dozen bottles, took them and received some relief, then ordered a dozen. Have taken seven of the last dozen, «nd I am happy in saying that I " M «'ll- • f * # " J V •' -fi,' .*** The Chief Reason for the great taccets eC Hood's SartapariUa is found in the feet thai Merit Wins. It is the he*t blood pnriSer mi actually accomplishes all that Is cfaimed tm it. Prepared only by C. 1. it Co.. Lowell. 1 C/> </i In 1ST? I contracted Blood 1 of bad type, and was treated with mercury, potash and ssisspailDa mlxtares^Towlng worse all the time. 1 took-7 small bottles 8.8.8. which cured me entirely, and no sigs uc the dreadful disease h&szetn^eSL ubii. iu, liuub; know I am being cured. "Have not used any liniment since I commenced taking your syrup. When I began taking your svrup I could not take a step without the use of a eane, neither could I turn myself in bed without aid; can now turn in bed without any trouble, oan walk about my house and office without the use of my cane, often losing track of It. for the reason when I take a long walk 1 take it along. My office is four blocks from my house; I have not walked to er from it for over a year until last Thurs­ day. a week. Since that time I have walked to and from it every day. except Sunday. X am truly rejoicing that I am fast beii Ueved from suoh 9 terrible affliction. truly, 8. S. Conovkb. Agent of the Northwestern Mutual Lite Insurance Co., Manistee, Mloh. Deing re- 1. Very "Hello, Brown 1 I hear you have a I SVny, m selected her." "Why, how did she tear y< new typewriter. Is she good-looking?" "Good-looking! Why, man, no; my wife oome to select her?" "Well, vou see, my wife was a typewriter herself before I married her/ / Step that Coagfei Maiiy people neglect what they call a sim­ ple cough, which, if not cheeked in time, may lead to Lung trouble. Scott's Emulsion of Pure Cod, Liver Oil. with Hypophosphites, will not only stop the cough but heal the lungs. Indorsed by thousands of Physi­ cians. Palatable as milk. Try it. Bold by all Druggists. A Jebsey City undertaker advertises that he furnishes "everything requisite for a funeral." He must be'a doctor as well as an undertaker. Students, Teachers (male or female,) Cler­ gymen. and others in need of change of employment, should not fall to write to B. F. Johnson & Co., 1009 Main St., Richmond, Va. Their , groat success shows that they have got the trpe ideas about making mon­ ey. The/ eati "show you how to employ odd hours profitably. -----J ------ Smilrs are the higher and better re­ sponses of nature to the emotion of the soul. Ors|M, tM Paradise of Farmere. Mild, equablf climate, certain and abundant crops. Best fruit, grain, grass, and stock coun­ try in the world. Pull information free. Address tht Oregon Immigration Board,Portland,Oregon. Ill 11 10 VltkHt 1L Spraias, Straias, Bruises, Wooods. S04U Jn DmffitLt and Dealer*. .ThiChaa. A. Ve«eler Co.. Bade., IM. ipjjas box, SOLD BY ALL DRUCCIS1 Wlf your store keeper is out of them, ] tke price to RADWAl * CO., SS Wa Street, New Tork City* ORATORS Vy little .iiece had white to Buck un extant that abe was con­ fined to the bed for a long tine. Mere than 90 pieces of bona eane I ant of her leg, the doctors said ' amputation was the only ttmeij to save her life. 1 refused the operation and pot her on S.S.S. and she is aoar fcpand active and in ** rH hfifth ail any child. Miss Ain'nn ffiiiiWinML Feb. 11, '89. C4iambaa,Cfe. Book ea Blood Distssss seat froo. Swift Spbcwio Cow Drawer 3» ftllsnla. #nd that Piao's OmT~ tor Consumption ant only PREVENTS, be* also CURES Hoaxa* CATOITS H I Ulbah T+m, r » mm nil SpiISi a» 0ME SmTslSSSSSMffltito: hand._ete„ thorewghly tanghthy w%aW. Ghentes free. Bbtaxt'sHvsissseOoiAaam.BeJEtto 8X Cq|WE TQ us time. Shorthand taasht by mul. Send tor <drcnl»r Knnxsa and PHO*ooaAJ,*lcCoxx*a*."BterliniR m _ _ ttons always open for 900* rro«pondcnt% (Serin, Shorthand ABtH IO mM uyMttalI SALARY. F and expense* DETECTIVES Wantadlamryeraaw. ftwrl «a t» irtnhrhsi sulha. la oar Scent Service. S«p»H»ae«aot a 111 i--ry. (taaae GrannanOtisctiveBiireanCe. 44Arca4e. Ciaciaasti,& MOTHERS' FBIEND nggoHHJ IOTHM IP uaao psFomi conwhuht. Book to "Momma" M tn.ro tan. tturiiLD usiura ca, imiRMft - 80LD >t iuDn»«n> ^CARRIAGES! We make a apeeiaHy ot mnifae* turing Baby CmUm to ad? «!• rcet tm private sa» Mae. Sea can, tbarefore,Sol ' than with a deal to all 1 potetawMMa treooTetoei CIAS. RAISER, Mfr. 12*14 OjknilNn CUMS% NORTHERN PACIFIC IlLOW NICE UIIMM nut* FREE Coyernfriont grmums «t Aw ot wet in 1 •MV run BUT A*ri<ramir*i»oruuc TQSWADAf. A6ENTS WARTEDt «MCULAM lUfc 1.000 Brewster's Safrty Beta Beldam given awaytointroduM then. S*wr horse owner beys from 1 to e. Ltose never under horrae'feet. SendSeMHS in stampa to pay postage aadpaaajMr for Nlcke^Platod garopicUuU aaUe tar 66c. Brewster Mfjg.CoM Holly, CHEAP HOMP ̂FARMING REGI8K •aQnMouua' Leant Telegraphy heiw and we will help you to good situations. Ad- " ool of Telegraphy. Madison, Win. RADWAY'Q LLPNXS 0 The Great Liver and Stomach Remedy For the oure of all disorders of the STOMACH, LIVER, BOWELS, KID­ NEYS, BLADDER, NERVOUS DIS­ EASES, LOSS of APPETITE, HEAD­ ACHE, CONSTIPATION, COSTIVE- NESS, INDIGESTION, BILIOUS­ NESS, FEVER, INFLAMMATION of the BOWELS, PILES, and all de­ rangements of the Internal Visce­ ra. Purely Vegetable, containing no mereury, minerals, or DELETE* RIOUS DRUGS. PERFECT DIGESTION will be a c c o m p l i s h e d b y t a k i n g R A D - WAY'S PILLS. By so doing Dyspepsia, SICK HEADACHE, FOUL STOM­ ACH, BILIOUSNESS, will be avoid­ ed, and the food that is eaten son- tribute its nourishing properties to the support of the natural waste of the body. Price 25c. per ITS. ORATEFUL--COM FORTWO. SPPS'S C0C81 BREAKFAST. m^onso^dflratloa ftsoB, and by a caxrful application of * ties of well-eelected Ooqoa. ltr. En our breakfast tables witira delicate!* u. which may aave as many heavy d< It is by the Isdidou ne of each artlclea • constitution mar he gradually built op 1 enough to resist «*ery tendency to < (reds of subtle maladies arefloetiii*' to attack wherever, there is a.wea r JTS MAGNETIC INK J», It Pri^OssOg^ This Inhaler consists of apowerfnl I dosing a supply of pure Japanese "-- Sh<! whole incased in polished n removable caps. Saerers are m Catarrh is due to the presence ot mucous membrane lining the bomi one or two simile inbalattooa tha show in the catarrhal macus dead forma < aeites which, lu'toir the inbelatioaa. Were alive and active. They can o-1- ™4-' " that are below the bsalthy want of the understanding of of Catarrh Is made difficult. it is necessary not only to kill the ae<m strengthen the membrane. Ibis iaaocoi the electric force stored up in the Maitniatle sag the most powerful natural toak- to the w tissues. Speakers and vocalists win ftad only ejdalsi® masa _ standard. Iftia: f ths as teats that* l rni i nuiiaaaa CHICHESTER'S ENQLU PENNYROYAL no anas muss] WIN H m o. fflaglAHj We have aotdl 'SSU'SP IX.B.D1 si.aa. aoMi C. N. U. WHEN WRITING TO AI>Y1EUM«S. jjv^jpiease e*»jr yo« astw tk« -Tffe mau who has irivt-steu t'ruiu three to Ave dollars in a Rubber Ooat, and at his flr*t half hour's <?3tpeni»ne« IB a storm Amis to his sorrow that it is hardly a be?KT protection th&ii ft bqob» quito netting, ouiy feels ch*fnn6d at being so badly i&ken iu, but 4l*o feels if be dots not 1 uofc exactly lifc* Aik tor the BRAND ** SUCUM does not htntbenn uum>, Nidftr WET HEN (not style) a gapaeat that wSf] hia irr in the hardest stana. called TOW*** raa " SUCSIH," a Basse AeWar»wwy Cow-boy all over the laad. WMtkas the only perfect Wtad and Wa t ia"'Tower's Flak Bread! v ' •• I jswf