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, E" NEARLY dne-quarter of tnc white girls '•&& Alabama, between the ages of fifteen «#d twenty*one cannot write their owp. names. ' -- ,, 3 A SOUTHERN Colorado editor recom­ mends the climate of his region hj the nasertion that lambs only a week old jttmp briskly over a three-ply barb fence. ' THE discovery that his wife wore false "tresses so harrassed a Detroit man that 'he fled and cnly returned to start a suit fordivarce. She will hare th« ayropn- •tty of all bald-headed men on the jury. MB. Bursn -who waa the pioneer in -arc electric lights, was a reporter on a •Cleveland newspaper at $15 a tfeek less tljan fifteen years ago! He still lives in •Cleveland where he owns a $1,000,000 ' ^>aSe* ' •' * A sn.TKB coffin-plate, stolen in 1882, pom the desecrated grave of Lord ."Botetourt, at Williamsburg, Va., was .restored to William and Mary College 'the ether day. It had been bought for -bid silver by a jeweler of Borne. N. Y. " • IF a Chinaman desires the death of enemy he goes and hangs himself lipon that enemy's door. It is consid­ ered a sure way to ki^ not only that particular enemy, but members of his •entire family will be in jeopardy of los- , fag their lives. A ohUff old physician in a Colorado ilfinilig town had a poor, aged minister his patient. When the preacher had efficiently recovered to dispense with further medical attention he asked for laa bill. "Your bill? jHereit is," said the doctor, opening his pocketbook and banding the minister's wife u ten dollar *• ' THE remains of Catherine Sevier, the #ife of Tennessee's great Governor, lie $fi. a moss-grown corner of an abandoned graveyard at Bussellville, Ala. Now that the bones of her distinguished hus­ band have been laid beneath the monu­ ment erected to his honor, it is pro­ posed to open the neglected grave of his wife and place her remains beside of her husband. * ';0EN. DON CARLOS BtrMit;' wfcfrte name is now rarely seen in print, is liv­ ing a retired life in the little village of Air&i'ie, in McLean County, Kentucky. ' llfcre the old soldier passes a Contented •eaSstencd in a beautiful home on the Wuffa i>£ Green River. From the win- •4gw of his library he can see for miles op and down the river and over the territory beyond. He probably im­ agines sometimes that he can see Bragg'a army marching into Kentuoky. 4',HOLLOW HORN BEAR, who was orator t§f his tribe at liosebud, thft other day, told the Commissioners he was glad to «ete "they were all good looking men." Heretofore the Sioux Indians have not been considered particularly suscepti­ ble to civilized charms, but, in spite of Shakespeare, there seems to be a good •deal in a name, for even Hollow Horn Bear has succumbed to the influence of Rosebud, and grown to be somewhat of 4 critic. A Sioux dude will be the next • - - • the dollars b© -mi communion set for QMS church. This was done, fcren A MAN who understands the weakness of human nature, has devised and put On the market a registering savings bank, which holds its deposits until they reaoh a stipulated amount. Tht bank is shaped like a Saratoga trunk. Three styles are made, one for cents, another for half dimes, and a third for dimes. (9TEBKST1KO ITEMS GATHXKEI> FBOX VARIOUS SOURCES. irfcat Oar Neighbor* Are Doing;--Matter* of Clpaiwrt and Local Interest -- Mar- ****•• mmA Death*--Aoeideuts and Crimes -F«riH»l Pointer*. --The Bev. Dr. A. C. Smith, for twen- ty-two years pastor of the 8onth Presby­ terian Church of Galena, has gone to Each, after the first coin is deposited, is i Fairfield, Iowa, where he will enter locked until the hundreth coin is pushed : »P°N his duties Sept. 1 as President of through the slot, and as each coin en- I Parsons College. ^ ters, it registers upon a dial. A man who buys a dime bank must put one hundred dimes into it if he wants to opsn it. and aniekle bank can be opened only when it contains five dollars." The banks ate stroncrlv made of nick! --The General Assembly at its last session made an* appropriation ol $6,ft00 for the erection of a monument on the battle-field of Gettysburg on the spot where the fight was opened by Illinois .roops. The act making this appropria- plated cast iron, and the looking device ! *'on lb» »PPom<me»t of a nnpiokable, beeaase after it i.locked -TV *° "ok , . . . . . . , „ . . . c o m m i s s i o n to serve without pay an>l to the keyhole is taken indoors. Nothing . , . , j- « A-* *>• composed of ex-soldiers enlisting "BAYS Seth Thomas, Ihe dock manufacturer: "The dial of the clocks which we make for China is marked, in lieu of figures, with characters which. I suppose, mean something to them. They don't to me. There are three circles of characters, the inner one hav­ ing eight divisions, the next one twelve, and the outermost twenty-four. There aire two hands, the shortest one making a revolution every two hours, while the long one takes twenty-four hours to get •around. But how they compute time by these is a Chinese puzzle." ' A NEW band of petty thieves, armed with scissors, is now said to frequent all great crowds in London and other large European cities in which ladies are numerous. The members of the band are as deft as their scissors are sharp, and they are too often able to success- folly cut the mantles, etc., of the fash­ ionably-dressed ladies in order to secure the ornaments, pieces of embroidered trimmings, and even expensive buttons j which they wear. In Paris this "scis- j «ors gang" has worked terrible havoc j in the more crowded parts of the Exhi­ bition buildings and grounds. BOOKS (in their present form) were : *»t made by Attains, King of Ber-, gamus, in 837. The first English news­ paper was the English Mercury, issued in the reign of Queen Elizabeth, and was in the shape of a pamphlet. The first English daily newspaper was established by Elizabeth Mallet in 1702, in London. The Daily Cour- •flnl aimed "to spare the publick at least one-half the impertinences which •ordinary papers contain." Maid, wife, or widow, as the case flight be, Eliza­ beth Mallet would not be appreciated in the grave year 1889. The firsj; printed almanac appeared in London •bout 1460. , A HARTFORD lady tells a story of an ancestor of hers, a direct descendant of John Eliot, the great missionary. This ancestor was a woman, the head of a family in New Haven, and about the year 1765 she ordered a lot of rmiu from Boston. The kegs came in due time, and when they were opened one of them was found to be filled with Spanish dollars. She wrote to the Boston merchant, telling him of the contents of one of the Itegs. He an­ swered that he had bought it for nails and had no further responsibility in the matter. The money was kept among the family treasures, untouched and un-t claimed, nntil the death of the head of the house, who, in her will, ' ordered. but the right amount of coins will open it, and when the one hundredth coin enters the door Opens automatically. * Miss SrsiE GOODLOW, of St. Louis, possesses a remarkable faculty of mind- reading, quite as wonderful in its way as that cultivated by widely known practitioners. She is singularly expert in reproducing diagrams and drawings which she has never seen, but which are vividly mapped in the mind of the "sensitive" agent whose hand is' laid on hers. Miss Goodlow says: "I dont myself understand the thing, but I can tell you what I do. Somebody--any­ body for that matter--makes a drawing on a piece of paper, which is given to my mother. She looks at it intently, holding my hand the while. I close my eyes and concentrate my attention to a point about one inch behind the middle of my forehead. After a time-- sometimes one minute, sometimes three --a picture, or rather an idea of a picture, floats into the place, and I draw what I see there." ' • . » " , > ^ \ J American Schools Abroad. • No American ought to be able to stand under the walls of Bobert College without taking off his hat. Founded by American money and built up by American teachers, as the colleges at Beyrout and at Assiout, on the Nile, it has with them done more for higher education in the East than the East has d >ne for itself in a hundred years. That is saying little. What Bobert College has done for Bulgaria in the education of her younger generation of statesmen is well known. From its beautiful location it is holding high the torch of scholarship over the ancient seat of Byzantine learning. The Girls' Boarding School at Scutari, under Miss Hamlin, is equally an honor to Ameri­ can liberality and the American church. Its very gronnds are like an oasis in the midst of their surroundings, full of per- fume. I heard a class reciting the "Paradise Lost" in English and donbt whether any class of girls of equal age in Amer­ ica could do better. The American flag is draped with the Turkish flag over the entrance. An adequate attempt to de­ scribe the work done by the Bible House and the fourteen mission stations of the Aiaerican Board would' require much space. Visitors to Constantinople, who see the old walls and churches, stand on the old bridge and -watch the life* that sways to and fro on it, if they fail to visit these institutions of Ameri­ can planting, miss coming in contact with the healthiest forces in the city, which, if allowed to operate, would stir up life and civilization on the Bosphorus. --Constantinople letter. Popular Fallacies. The antique worship of mystic num­ bers still shows its after-effect in vari­ ous popular superstitions, for instance, the idea that young animals born blind will open their eves on the ninth day. The truth is that the blindness peri *d of puppies varies from ten to sixteen days, and that of kittens from six to twelve. My children have a private zoo of domestic and foreign rodents, and after a three years experience have come to the conclusion that the young of* white rats never open their eyes be­ fore the fifteenth day, the eighteenth day being the usual average. The fre­ quent assertion that "colds" will run their natural course in nine days is equally erroneous. A slight catarrh, characterized by all its unmistakable symptoms, may come and depart in three times twenty-four hours, while chronic "colds" are often as persistent as their cause, and may worry a whole family from Christmas to the season of open windows. Country experts in the phenomena of rabies are apt to assure the victim of a snapping cur that the bite of a mad dog will show its effect on the seventh day, after which* time (some times extended to the "ninth day") the dread of evil consequences may be dismissed; but the truth is that the virus of hydrophobia may remain latent for more than five years, and. after all, develop its germs suits.--Weekly l'ress. with fatal re- Flenty ef Tine to see the BHIL A man out in the fields wanted to in­ spect more closely a three-vear-old bull. He bellowed at him and succeeded in attracting his attention. His bullship thought some of the neighboring bulls had got into his territory, and came up with head down and nostrils extended, and fire in his eye, prepared to fight, but fortunately for the man there happened to be an apple tree close at hand, which he succeeded in dodging behind just as the bull made a dive for him, striking the tree plumb in the centre, which luckily was jnst the right size to fit between his horns, thus hold­ ing him fast for a moment, which gave the frightened man a chance to use hi* horns as a step-ladder, thus enabling him to climb the tree, where he amused himself throwing apples at the infuriated bull, who stood underneath pawing dirt and bellowing until his owner came after the cows in the evening and drove him awav. -- Connecticut Jf'ljptfcrr* Netcs. • < Oace Enongh. Conductor (after a collision in which everybody got bounced half way across the car, but no one was hurt)--Gentle­ men, I find that no great harm has been done. We ran into the rear end of a freight train; and if some of you will oome out and help clear the .track, we can proceed on our journey. • Fat Passenger--Conductor, are there any more freight, trains on ahead ¥ "Oh, I suppose so." "Well, let's stay where «§'! York Weekly. bom Illinois. Governor Fifer has jnst appointed this commission and the work trill be proceeded with at once. It is constituted as follows: Ex-Governor J. L. Beveridge, of Cook County, Colonel of the Eighth Cavalry; Joseph B. Green* hut, of Peoria, Captain of the Eighty- second Begiment; aud David B. Yanghn, of Kankakee, private in the Twelfth Cavalry. . --It has been discovered that the en­ rolling and engrossing clerk of the late Honse of Representatives defeated the intent of the Thirty-sixth General As­ sembly in regard to the game law. The House passed a bill making it lawful to 'cill prairie chickens after the 15th of September. The Senate amended the bill by substituting the 1st for the 15th of September. The House concurred in this amendment. In enrolling the bill the clerk crossed the 15th and inserted the 1st ct September in tbe clause apply­ ing to the killing of deer and wild tur­ keys instead of the date applying to the killing of prairie chickens, so that the (aw as it stands prevents the killing of deer and turkeys after the 1st and prairie chickens not till the 15th of September, while the record shows the General As­ sembly to have intended the reverse of this. --The State Board of Live Stoek Com­ missioners have begun an inspection of ill the stock-yards of the State where cattle are received, transferred, or un­ loaded for feeding and watering, to as­ certain if the law relative <o haudl ng Southern cattle is complied with. Dur­ ing June c; ses of glt.mers have been disposed of at Upper Alton, Stillmau.Cer- ro Gordo, Murdock, Qnincy, and Chicago. The following new veterinary surgeons have leeu appointed by tie board: J. Y. Pease, at Quincy; John Scott, at Peoria; J. E. Embnrg, at Paris; and S. Y. Bamsey, at Tuscola, y --Herbert A. Pearson, "# KnUliobai'e mine owner from the Pacific coast, wis drowned while bathing in the lake near the foot of Thirty-first street. Chicago. --In conformity with the law passed by the Illinois Legislature at the last ses­ sion providing for the transfer of female •sonvictn from Chester to Joliet, Warden E. J.' Murphy of the Chester prison last week conveyed to Joliet the six female convicts who have heretofore been in his charge. Tbe convicts were: Mrs. E. S. Wiley, a widow, 30 years old, mother of three children, sentenced from the United States Court at Dallas, Texas, June 10, 1887, Tor three years for counterfeiting; Hester A. Deweese, oged 20, convicted in Gallatin County in September, 1888, of murder and sentenced for fifty years; Margaret A. J. Sutton, a cripple and bur­ glar, aged 19, sent np for one } ear from Bond County; Anna Finn, 16 years o!d, a partner of Maggie Sutton in the burglar­ ies in Bond County; Kate Williamson, alias Kate Cotton, colored, convicted of murder at Cairo in June, 1884, and sen­ tenced for a life term; Ida Beard, a ne- gress, convicted in Hamilton County, and sentenced for three years for larceny. --Gov. Fifer has gone for a month or six weeks' vacation in the Elk Bapids region of- Michigan. He needs the re^t badly, and hopes to return in better health than he has enjoyed of late. Lieut. Gov. Bay will act daring his ab­ sence. --Chicago has a generous and a public- spirited citizen of the old school in the person of P. D. Armour. This gentle man has just purchased from the city a piece of property on which he proposes to erect a free training-school for chil­ dren in connection with the already well- established and beneficent institution known as the Armour Mission. For the ground alone Mr. Armour pays the hand­ some sum of $18,000. Mr. Armonr is doing that during his lifetime which other wealthy men hate been providing for only in their wtll^deaving to execu­ tors and trustees the responsibility of earrying out their wishes. --The city of Chicago embraces 171 Bquare miles, or 109,440 aeres. Careful estimates place the population at 1,104,- 331. --James Alien, a Chicago watchman, shot and instantly killed a fifteen-year- old burglar. The lad was running away when shot. --Gov. Fifer has made the following appointments: For Trustees of the State Historical Society, Edward F. Leonard of Peoria, the Bev. Arthur Edwards of Chicago, and Judge Henry S. Baker of Alton. As Commissioners of the Court of Claims, E. D. Blinnof Lincoln, Presi­ dent; B. D. Adams of Fairfield, and Wil­ son S. Kay (Democrat) oi Iroquois County. --The Yandalia Council has voted to light the city with 100 twenty-five-candle electrie lights at a oost of $1,800 a year. r-George Murray, a plumber, aged about 25 years, was murdered in the Court House Park at Springfield by a negro bootblack named Theophilus Wal- dron. The latter, who is about 17 years of age, was playing with a companion the boys' game of "mumble peg." Murray was lying on the grass near by, and made a remark at fphich Waldron took offense. The lattu^lierenpon closed the small blade of which he was using, opening^^^^^Bs blade, approached Murray^^^^^Hged it into his heart. Unrray^^^^Hp a few -annatesT The foung j^^^^Hs as arrested. % W . . . .< «,'rwsi .. V ,\.-H •' ' J~,?k ..Ju, tA 5 Ys.4 d § , A ia, went Miesisstppf fctver ior a boat-rfde. ^ took a keg of beer along and imbibed freely. Inspired by the beer, one of the party stood up to make a Speech. In doing so he tipped the boat and its six occupants were thrown into the water. Two of them reached the shore by swim­ ming, and another one was rescued by some fishermen, but the remaining three were drowned. The river was dragged and two of the bodies were recovered. --We clip the following from the Chi­ cago Evening Journal: Such experts as have examined the inaeet that has attacked tbe wheat in Central and Southern Illinois and in Indiana appear to be of opinion t hat no great damage will be done. It is not a new enemy of wheat and the smalt grains. It, is a louse oi a comparatively well- kuown variety, and has attacked tho wheat, in tuio iioi't ui i cooniTy at. various times diu*. ing the last twenty years. Its appearance this year was douirtleas eansed by the extreme hot weather in April, which..rivaled that of the dog- days in intensity, aaA was accompanied bv a scorching drouth. Th«ae wwe tbe exact condi­ tions which give to insect enemio* of the wheat crop their start in life. --The premium lis|s of the Illinois State Fair, to be held in Jefferson Park, ' • oria, Sept. 23-27. are ready for distri­ bution and can be had upon application to1 the Secretary at Springfield. The premi­ ums offered aggrogate nearly $25,000, and every award will be paid in cash. The classification has been improved by the recent revision and will doubtless meet with the approval of all desiring to make an exhibit at this great exposition of live stock, farm products, horticultural speci­ mens, fine arts and agricultural machin­ ery. The programme has been prepared with great care. A number of special at­ tractions hare been arranged, the con­ tracts for which were closed too late for insertion in the premium lists. The principal of these attractions are the celebrated Mnrantette Equestrian Com­ bination and the flock of seven full-grown African ostriches. The ground upon which the0 fair is to be held will, when the buildings are completed, present a fine appenrnnoe, and will not be excelled by any in the United States. --The Census Bureau has completed its division of the States into districts for the eleventh census. The Illinois dis­ tricts are as follows: First--Cook.'Lake, Dupage Counties; popula­ tion in 18W0. 6i7,'.'S7. Second--.lo Daviess, Ste- Shenson. Winnebago, Boone, McHetiry, Carroll, glp, DeKftlb, Kane, Wliitesides, Lee, and Ken­ dall ; in 1K80, Third--Koolt Inland. Heury. Bureau, Meiver, Knox, Stark, Henderson, Wanvn. Hancock, McDonouiili, Ful­ ton, Peoria, Schuyler; population in 1(<8J, 484. Fourth --Will. Kankakee. Grundy. LaSalle, Marshall, Livingston, Woodford, Tazewell, Mfil.fan, Mason, aud I ogan; popnla'.lon in 1H80. 371,774. Fifth-- froqm is, toid, l>e Witt, Matt, Champaign, Vermilion. Mac in, Moul­ trie, routflas, Edgar, Coles. Shelby, Clark, and Cumb?rland; population in 18(W, 844.275. Sixih--Adauia. Brown, CasR. Menard, Pike. Morga/i, Sangamon, Calhoun, (ireone, Ma­ coupin, Montgomery, Christian, aid Jersey; population in 1HS0. Seventh--Madison, Bond, Fayttte, Kfflnghain, Jasper, Crawford, St. C l a i r , i 1 : v . l m i C V . * y , T i i ' j h l . - i " . - - . ' . i - . V fence, Monroe, and Washington ; populatWn in 1880, 322.365. Eighth--Jefferson, Wayne, Ed­ wards, Wabash, Franklin, Hamilton, White, Jackson. William MO:), Hatine, Gallatin, Union, Jouiiauit, Pope, Hardin, Alexander. Pulaski, and Massac; population in 1860, 313,s><>2. --A number of prominent Irish-Ameri. cans held a private meeting at. the Grand Pacific Hotel, in Chicago, last week, to dis­ cuss thefeasibility of establishing an Irish- American republic to further the inter­ ests of Ireland and the Irish raoe. It is the intention to organize a land syndicate composed of influeutial and wealthy Irish- Americans, send representatives to Can­ ada. Chili, Pern, and Uesioo--it is un­ derstood the latter country would be williug to dispose of Lover California, or a neighboring state, under certain con­ ditions, with the privilege of establish­ ing an Irish-American republic thereon --secure a grant of land sufficient to ac­ commodate from one to ten millions of people, divert the enormous emigration pouting into this country from Ireland to this land, eiect improvements on same, and furnish each emigrant with neces­ saries until after the first crop. --James Cooper, a young miner, was fatally injured by the premature explo­ sion of a blast in the room which he wai working in a mine near Peoria. --John Chinaman was a patriotic American citizen on the Fourth, says the Chicago Herald. He made Hip Lung's store his headquarters, while South Clark street, from V>tn Buren to Harrison street, >VUK the scene of his demonstration. Hip Lung, although the laws will not allow him to become a citizen, was bound to celebrate, and accordingly purchased $500 worth of firecrackers, flying squibs, rock­ ets, roman candles, and colored lights. Then, with the assistance of several dozen imported ianndrymen, he touched them off. They made a tremendous racket, and attracted nearly all tbe levee to the scene. After the noise had ceased a Chinese orchestra, specially imported for the occasion, made an attempt to play " America." They didu't succeed very well, and the sound resembled more than anything else a load of tin cans being carted along an extremely rough street. --A correspondent writing from the State Capital, savs: The State Auditor said to-day that out of the 102 counties in the State seVenty-seven had al­ ready made reports to the Auditor of t heir credit tor the final settlement ot accounts on the collection of State taxes. Thin is the largest number that Jmve ever in the history of the State reported for final settlement by the 2d day of July, From the statements furnished it ap­ pears that in the larger number of the counties the collections have been miui>tially close and prompt, and the collectors attribuie this to the tuitiKually prosperous condition of the people. The Auditor considers the showing highly grati­ fying and says he expects the remaining county collectors will furnish their statements ana make final settlements in a few days, thus rounding out a result which ha* no parallel ia Illinois, and probablv not in any other State. --John Gray, of Gray land, one of the oldest settlers of Cook County, is dead.' He moved to Chicago in 1837, and kept the Green Tree Ion, now located on Mil­ waukee avenue, which is the oldest building in the eity. --The widow end heirs of the great estate of the late. C. H. HoCnrmick, of Chicago, have agreed upon an amicable suit in comt in order that that body may help in its division. --Jesse Harper, a brakeman at Olney, was killed by falling off a ear. ' --Judge Gould, of Moline, President of the State Board of Pnblic Charities, and Mr. Wines, Secretary of the Board, have been requested by Gov. Fifer to make an investigation of the reported suffering of the miners in the Northern Illinois dis- ' trict. 'Jbjsy are not selected as arbitra- | tors, but it is hoped that their labors will lead to an amicable adjustment of the difficulties. --The Harvey Bros.; retrril clothing firm of Chicago, have failed with $40,- 000 liabilities and $30,000 assets. The house was established' tfetotyttw* yea^e A Belated TrifaMpM|,;the Sing's highway was Anxiotis at a certain spot by fSounds. He went forward Tifer .'Sillily, ready to turf: md .Fly foy.|j|*|frliliipy moment, but all of a the Dr«aded Sound* had oMfn utiared by a Donkey. "See here, yon Miserable Beast, what are you trying to get at,, anyhow ? demanded the Traveler. "Why, it is a ease of self-sacrifice," replied the Donkey. "Instead of Stand­ ing in my stall I come out and brave the Inclement Weather to cheer the belated Traveler with my voice and let him know that Friends are near." "You old dunder-head, but it is your voice whioli adds Terror to the mud and darkness, (jo Hence and let up.* V MOKAl*. The Blunder of Friends are more to be Dreaded than the Machinations of Enemies. HERCUX.K8 AND THE WOODMAN. It is related that Hercules was pass­ ing through a Forest one day when he came upon a Woodman who was Idle, and Inquired: **Have you amassed Wealth until you no longer have to work?" "Nay, my friend," was the answer, "hut this Log needs Moving, and I have not the Strength to Accomplish the Task." "Oh, as to that, Til Lend you a Hand," cheerfully replied Hercules, and he seized the Log and Moved it. into the Position desired. Returning over the same course a week later, he found the same wood­ man again idle, and to his Inquiries the man replied: $ "I was waiting for yon to re|urn and move another log for me." MORAL. « \ He who helps the man who himself does him an injury. THE ANT AND THE BEKTLE. One day while the ant was rolling a grain of corn over the ground a beetle happened along and inquired: "My industrious friend, why all this labor?" "I am Working to get thia Grain of Corn into my Storehouse for the Winter. I must have a store laid by or I shall Starve." "But how foolish to Work so hard for it! You don't see me sweating under the collar aud yet I get along as well as most Insects." "Yes, you are all right now becans* it is Summer, but wait until the Winter comes on. If you are Idle now y<m will Perish then." "Thanks, my dear Ant, but. don't worry over the undersigned. Call on me about the middle of January." Time passed on. The Ant Worked Industriously to lay by a Store, and as the Winter came on and she was con­ gratulating herself on her Foresight and Prudence, the Beetle came that way. be was fat and sleek and in fine spirits, and he halted to say : "Morning, Old Economy. How goes it ?" "I have two kinds of Eatables laid by for the winter," replied the Ant, "while you--* " While I am located in the Governor's Kitchen for the next six months, and count ou no less than seven kinds of Food per day." •'But how is that?" , "Simply that I work with my mouth, wliile you work with your muscles. I , Talk Politics, while you talk Corn." MOTTAL. ; "^.VTT"'.!. Let's ill Talk Politics. --Petro it Free-Pr$#$. , -• A Remarkable Accident. "Help! Help! Take it off." The above cry startled Principal Huber of the Evangelical Lutheran Sell x>l. He rushed from the school-house and was surprised to see one of his pupils, pretty 11-year-old Panlirie Arndt, cdnie toward him with a flat tin coffee-can protruding from her mouth. Pauline carries her dinner in a basket. Her coffee she carries in a flat tin can, the caver of which is screwed on. After ea'ing her dinner and drinking her coffee Tuesday noon she plavfully stuck her tongue into the small hole on top, and when she attempted to withdraw that useful member she found she could not do so. She ran screaming to the school-house and Mr. Huber tried to relieve her, but found he could not do so. The im­ prisoned tongue had rapidly swollen, making it impossible to draw it back again. Picking her up in his arms, the teacher took her to his home, 79 Mitchell j avenue. Dr. J. Siefert was summoned J and put the suffering little one to sleep ' by means of chloroform. Piece by j piece the can was cut away, but when . the small band around the tongue was reached the physician was balked, j Only for a moment, however. A file j was procured and the band carefully filed away. When this was done the child was brought back to conscious- : ness and taken home. Pauline was all right again in a few hours, and her tongue once more resumed state.--Denver Sun. ; . ' ' i i j An Illustration. * Jack Handy learned the word ditto at school one day, and recited the defi­ nition three times, in chorus with the others: "Ditto, the same; ditto, the same; ditto, the same." Then the teacher told the class that she should expect a sentence from each one the next day, in which the new word should be introduced correctly. Jack toiied for a long time over his sentence that evening, and just before going to bed, he showed his paper to liia family with great pride, as they all sat around the sitting-room table. This was the result of his efforts: j "Ditto--the same. I bought me a anew nife last Saturday, and another- boy tought him one ditto " day;*1--i'J Youth's Companion. He Was the Judge. Judge Nelson, of the District Court, administers justice rather than law. He is a grav-haired Scandinavian, and does not have any special use for young law­ yers. On one occasion when Tom R^an was trying a case before him, the Judge m«Ja a ruling which was so contrary to all precedents, though obviously taking a fair view of the matter, that the at­ torney became excited and, jumping up, exclaimed: "The court can't do that; the eotirt. can't render a decision like that!" Judge Nelson was calm and unmoved. "Young man," he said^sit down. The oonrt can render any decision it wants to. I'm the court." -- Minneapolis Tribune. ~ A FASTIDIOUS bachelor advertises for a correspondent who is matrimonially inclined, adding: "One who can cook, wash woai *nd who doean't go oafc* nights." EtotttMpbs histoi even#- aifcVe res®!#' iSMSt; i the seemingly insignffle--il'~ , following furnishes a fef Mtlpnples: When Louis VII. etapgeA his hair and shaved his beard, EfSmioiv his con­ sort, found him, with this unusual ap­ pearance, very ridiculous, and soon contemptible. She revenged herself as she thought proper, and the poor, shaved King obtained a divorce. She then married the Count of Anjou, after­ ward Henry H. She had for her mar­ riage dower the rich provinces of Poi- tou and Guienne; and this was the origin of those wars which for 300 years ravaged France, and cost the French 3,000,000 men. All this probably had never occurred had Louis not been so rash as to crop his head and shave his beard, by which he became SO disgust- frtl O.. T.M • XiiciUui, Warton mentions, in his "Notes on Pope," that the treaty of Utretch was occasioned by a quarrel between the Duchess of Marlborough and Queen Anne about a pair of gloves. The expedition to the island of Be was undertaken to gratify a foolish and romantic passion of the Duke of Buck­ ingham. The coquetry of the daughter of Count Julian introduced the Saracenes into Spain." "What can be imagined more trivial," remarks Hume, in one of his essavo, "than the difference between one color of livery and another in horse races ?" Yet the difference begat two most invet­ erate factions in the Greek empire-- the Pra^ini aud the Veneti--who never suspended their animosities until they ruined that unhappy government. The murder of Cfeser in the Capitol was chiefly owing to his not rising from hig seat when the Senate tendered him some partioular honors. The Duchess of Marlborough's spill­ ing a basin of water on Mrs. Masham's gown, in Queen Anne's reign, brought in the Tory ministry, and gave a new turn to the affairs of Europe. When Mahomet was flying from his enemies, he took refuge in a cave, which his pursuers would have entered had they not seen a spider's web at the entrance. Not knowing that it was freshly woven, they passed by the cave; and thus a spider's web changed the hia- tory of the world. "If the nose of Cleopatra had been shorter,"said Pascal, in his epigramatie and brilliant manner, "the condition of the world would have been different." Luther might have been a lawyer had his friends and companions escaped the thunder storm. Scotland had wanted her stern re­ former, if the appeal of the preacher had not startled him in the chapel of St. Andrew's Castle. If Mr. Grenville had not carried, in 1764, his memorable resolution as to the expediency of charging certain stamp duties on the plantations in America, the Western^ world might still have bowed to the .British sceptre. Gioto, one of the early Florentine painters, might have continued a rude shepherd boy if a sheep, drawn bv him upon a stone, had not accidentfy w. tracted the attention of Cimabue. Unfortunate All Around. "An Austin man was going North with his wife last week, and the train started off very suddenly while he was talking with his friends. He grabbed hold of a woman, chucked her on the train, jumped after her, and away they went, fifty miles an hour, with his wife shriek­ ing and tearing her hair on the plat- j form, and a woman he never saw before going into high pressure hysterics in the car, and calling him a monster and J yelling, "Save me!" By a terrible mistake he had got hold of the wrong woman, or he was the wrong man. At any rate the conductor, I refusing to listen to his explanations, j kicked him out of the car, the brake* I man chucked him into the ditch, the j Sheriff met him before he was half way I back to town and put handcuffs on him, and when at last he got home torn and bleeding his Oldest son met him at the I gate and threatened to lick him for | abusing mother. He entered his house ! at length and found his business part­ ner holding his wife on his lap try ing.to dry her tears and console her, and tell­ ing her that there were men in the world who loved her much better than her faithless husband ever did. A great deal of explanation was necessary on all sides.--Texas Sifting8. A Beal Predicament. Jif. curious adventure has jnst befallen a married couple, who had come up to spend a fortnight in Paris, writes a cor­ respondent. The husband lost his wife in the crowd near the exhibition and all that the poor woman could do was to explain that she and her husband had put up at an Hotel de France, but that she had forgotten the name of the street. She was conducted by a good Samari­ tan to several Hotels de France, but none of them was the right one. The sympathizing gentleman who acted as her escort found her a room at his hotel, and on the following day took her out again in search of the house at which her husband had put up, but in vain-- it was nowhere to be discovered. As the unlucky wife had not a son about her, the gentleman once more offered her the hospitality of his hotel, but on this occasion he became so very atten­ tive that, opening the window of the room he had taken for her--next to his own--she called for assistance. The police rushed in, and the party were marched off to the nearest station, where the poor woman at once learned the right address, for her hnsbaud also had been looking for her in every direction, and had reported her disappearance to every police office in the metropolis. Going to Washington. Three Philadelphia card sharpers en­ tered a train in that city, aud succeeded in getting seats besiul a tgreen looking young fellow, whom] they knew had a big wallet. They- were very polite, he was genial. He explained that he was going to Washington, they were, too, so lucky, etc., etc. ' A little game was proposed and started. The countryman played awk­ wardly, but was evidently eajoying the fun. High stakes followed, very high. They let the countryman win, of course. Suddenly he started up,.. ', . "I must get off here," he said; *1 am on the wrong train." "Eh 1 What V" they ejaculated; "you said you were going to Washington !* "Yes, I am," he replied, "to Wash­ ington, Pennsylvania. Good-day." The green countryman was not as verdant as he looked, and was not going j to Washington, Pennsylvania. He j tbok the next train to the capital No MATTER how timid a tailor ia naturally, he has one advantage as a wooer over other men--he cau always ararmly and effectually press his anil-- Baltimore American. *t* *»«r 0*kUimm % O ntiwky--He Dmierves « (Kj.4 WMblh tS&Tut freak ©f nature ever Its existence, however, ia vmial by James P. Whallen andJoeeph of Louisville. It is well known that when cucunfrv bers are first cut from the vine thastf ' is a piece of the stem which ex*u6wr«ar bleeds. A prominent citizen Pineville some time ago, named JjMEpd Gibson, cut his hand, and this jdn got into this cut and his hand comBMbotd* to inflame, and an eruption simitar to. erysipelas made its appearance a^ m- lended up his arm, and finally aplrtladL, over his whole body. Strange to sityr, wsts no pain a*tondiBgr &«•# tions of erysipelas, and he gather and pack the cucumbers aoA fi ' prepare them for pickling. * To the great surprise of everybetfllf these little pimples assumed the " pearance and form of smaH MCBBtl and continued to grow. Although son kept well and hearty, he compelled to stop work and take to hit bed. The doctors and quacks around here visited him. One scribed one thing and one One wished to bleed him; one «HHI1 to cut the cucumbers off; another not to let him have any wafer aad would dry up; another said stick a in each cucumber and they would and a new skin form; another wished to wrap him up in a mammoth poultice of barnyard manure and draw them all to one head; another said they ought to btt scattered. All the doctors had a diAtr- ent remedy, but all disagreed, so there was some hope that the patient would get well. But the small cucumbers grew into big ones, and his whole body was covered with them from head to foot, and they commenced to ripen and turn yellow and hang down, and the man looked like a huge bunch of ba­ nanas. .: When they got ripe they bagan to shrivel up and dry, and so did the man. His sap was all gone, and he died. The doctors procured the consent of his widow to permit an autopsy to be made for the benefit of science, and they cot him open, and to their amazement found no blood, no muscles, no sinews, no arteries, but found only one eolid mass ef cucumber seeds, It wa# markable it would be useless to haw* his remains interred, and foolish to have them cremated, and the widow concluded to keep them in the h&ijjto. She had the corpse hung up by in the barn, where it now aw||p^iMK inanimate evidence of what nature do when she takes a notion. * m Valuable Suggestions. One of our little girls has bemt troubled with earache ever since her babyhood, says a writer. No sbres ha<Nr« gathered, but a cold or exposure to » strong wind is almost certain to cmnaa her acute suffering with earache. Alter trying nearly everything liiu £ bsve seen or heard recommended, I har0 i£&~ tied on this application as giving pnii&st and quickest relief. It is a flam stuffed with hops and wrung froMhi vinegar. I lay the bag over th# "" ear, as hot as she will bear it, aotpi#! whole side of the face with dry and change the hop bag as often it becomes cool. The warm steam, filling the child's ear soou relieves Stuffing the ear with the "hearf olN roasted onion," tnckiings of wads of peppered cotton and lumps mutton tallow have never yfet, in experience, eased earache, and such tating masses crowded or poured into the delicate labyrinth at the ear may do much mischief. Another child is a vio* tim of legache. Inherited, probably, for well do we remember what we apf- fered with its tortures in our own chttdr hood. Heat and moisture gave us re~ , lief, and, following in our mother's fodfe* ste])s, we have been routed night after night from our warm quarters, in the dead of winter, to kindle fires and m frosty kettles from water pails thioMy crusted with, ice, that we might gei tiMi writhing pedal extremities of otSUr Iittl<9 heir into a tub of hot water as quieklT as possible. But lately we have twinged * that all'this work and exposure is need­ less. We simply wring a towel from salted water--a bowl of it standing ia_ our sleeping-room ready for such l? emergency--wrap the limb in it frota ankle to knee, without taking the child from his bed, and then swath with flannels, thick and warm, tucking tlgr blankets about him a little closer, and relief is sure. A croupy cough can al­ ien be loosened and prevented by swathing the throat with dry, wara* flannels; a thick pack of them to sweat the throat and chest often helps ao rapidly that it is not necessary to sicken the child with ipecae or to wake th* house kindling fires or preparing h&- packs. « Governor Cornell's Cleck. . stories about Gov. HiUVJfo* tended marriage are finally disci«dit(Biit,,^.;i:;";.V' and he is evidently intending to pre- ~ . serve his personal iiberty by maintain- • ing his bachelor state. It is possible . '• that he has profited by the testimony ^ and example of his predecessors. A-1 from Ithaca, the birthplace of ex-Gofew »' Cornell and his wife, told me yesterday' a good&tory apropos of the perils « wedded life, which the Governor told'. at his own expense. It seems that wheil in office at Albany he would sometimes return home late at night, after MB wifo » ^ 5 had re tired, aud when she asked him what time it was, he would answer, "Abert^ ,s; 12." or "A little after midnight." On* evening, instead of making the inquiry, she said: "Alonzo, I wish you woold stop that clock: I cannot sleep for its noise." All unsuspiciously he stopped the pendulum. In the morning, white dressing, Mrs. Cornell inquired arfcr ; lessly: "Oh, by the way, what tiiu%^ did you get home ?" " About midnight,*':.;, replied the Governor. "Alonzoi, toelc at that clock!" The hands of th* eloek pointed to half past 2. The GOVWMT was crushed; bnt he afterward eluded that the story waa too good™ keep. Gov. Hill may have heard idak : tell it.--Philadelphia Record. Energetic Singing. At one of the private schools tarHi*' tie ones iu this village a few days agfr : the teacher was instructing the acholat* • • in singing. They were rather alowai & their time, and she began to health* time in an energetic manner, and tied it on until they had sunt aelves nearly out of breath. exercise was over the 4-yearn>ld ..... ter of one of our physicians exclaimML between her gasps "for breath: Miss , we hooped her Jane that time, didn't we ?" Mail. Fon things ooase not baok: apoken void, the aped arrow, tka hfe, the neglected opportunity. AW'v&V'S