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jjkff-. i'# interill _ ftl*«*one of <**«!» «*6ld it. , v : t h e w e l l - s # « g e n t e e l d o g .IHS loafer in thii y^guet is shown .tomrnmw r in which "they iiimMrt The dog whose birth lections entitle him to lire with- wttwfling his pawa by labor knows his dm very we}l aad js-not at all t t , of the aimless life he leads. ^4f^C«ltrary, if, as occasion happens be is forced to perform some light task, his whole nature in lowered, and he res about his uncongenial occupation a half-hearted perfunctory way, and evinces by his drooj ing ears and de- j»rtt-she« tail tnai he keenly feels his iSegredation, and does not know what he has done to deserve it. He considers Ihat his intelligent companionship, his Unswerving fidelity, and his sleepless Vigilance in protecting his master's when the heavier senses of y are steeped in slumber should •Kempt him from vulgar toil, and be ac­ cepted as sufficient return for his board »cd lodging. As his owner usually agrees with him, the dog is not often jinked to sacrifice what he regards as his birthright. ji "The dog of loafing tendencies yields aot a whit to his aristocratic brother in fejif} detestation for toil, but he cannot Carry off his idleness with the same air of easy independence. He seems to think that his owners expect him to Work for his living, and he moves about in the family circle with an apologetic bearing; but there his subservience ends. Try to train him to the light but debasing treadmill employment of turn­ ing the wheel that works the mechanism by which the cream is made into butter, Mid you will be surprised to find how •oon he will learn to distinguish churn­ ing day from the other six, and he con­ spicuous by his absence while the dairy Maid is doing his work. "A dog's abhorrence of labor, hard or fftsy, cannot be attributed to laziness, for he is not at all lazy. All, animated nature shows no more active creature than he. Arouse him from his sleep on the coldest winter night and call upon him to accompany you on any mission, and he will be delighted with the con­ fidence you place in him au^ shrink from no discomfort or danger. It is clear to me that his hatred for toil is due to his innate gentility, and only %hen he is false to his natural instincts and feels ashamed of his lifelong idle­ ness does he look and act like a loafer. -It is not easy to te%ch a good dog tricks. He will not take kindly to them, foil; they are too much like work to accord to his tastes. Curs sometimes make #good tricksters, but how often have you seen a Newfoundland or a mastiff stand Upon his ear or waltz on!^ his hind legs? "Well bred dogs are like Indians. /They are at all times ready and willing la hunt until they drop, or fight until they- die; bnt the motto by which they all seem to be guided is, 'Death before Drudgery.'"--New York Sun. t An Ancient Ceremony. A London correspondent thtf§ <te- jj; scribed a queer old oustorc • It was § 'j rather soon after dinner for a consti- v tutional, but we followed, and found the guard already turned out under the gallery by the Bloody Tower. A mo­ ment later appeared a little squad of * men, one of them in a flawing scarlet PC)be, with a lighted lantern, coming up f • the steep slope that leads from Traitors' gate. The sentry challenged sharply: "Halt! Who goes there?" The warder halts and answers!/'v "The keys." "Whose ireys?" ' _ * . "Queen Victoria's keys." -> "Pass, Queen Victoria's keys." The warder in the flowing scarlet robe, with the lighted lantern, followed by his lit- tie squad, starts off again, but halts ^.-jgain and cjies aloud: fe' "God save Queen Victoria." ,,'% , The guard comes to the present, the officer brings his sword to the salute, * officer and men respond in chorus three times with a kind of cheer: v "Amen. Amen. Amen." f• •' Again the warder sets out, passes, torns square to the left and vanishes, he and his flowing scarlet, and his Ian- tern, and his little squad. He is carry­ ing the keys of the tower to the governor of the tower. It was but a minute. The guard is dismissed, the officer marches leisurely off. My friend and I are left there. Only a minute; jet that self-same ceremony has been transacted on that same spot at that • same hour every night, for something like 800 years. Back through all those crowded centuries of English story, you hear nightly that challenge ring out; nightly that blessing invoked on king or queen, with, I suppose, an interval when Oliver Protector got the benefit of it; nightly the clash of steel which tells the constable of the tower that all is well, and nightly these keys have made their singular journey into the hands of the king's lieutenant. * *• Aa Old Hoax on the "Time** r The London Time# was hoaxed a century ago nearly as badly as in the present instance by a clever gang of forgers, who got up a bogus edition of the French paper L'Eclair, at that time recognized as an authority upon matters of international news. The pa­ per contained what purported to be the text of a treaty of peace between the French Bepublie and the Emperor of Austria. A copy was got into the hands of the correspondent of the Times at Dover, and from him went to London, where the alleged treaty was published in the Times, and was such good and unexpected news that the stock market went up with a rush. It •was several days before it was discov­ ered that the paper was a forged edition and had been gotten up by r London speculators to bring about a boom in stocks. Monasteries and Xental Diseases, The monasteries were frequent sources of that form of mental disease which was supposed to bo caused by bewitchment. From the earliest period it is evident that monastic life tended to develop insanity. Such cases as those of St. Anthony and St. Augustine are typical of its effects upon the strongest minds; but it was especially the conr vents for women that became the great breeding-beds of this disease. Among the large numbers of women and girls thus assembled, many of them forced into confinement against their will, for thq reason, that their families could give them no dower, subjected to the unsatisfied longings, suspicions, bicker­ ings, petty jealousies, envies, and hstrsck, so notorious in Convent life, ment&f di8ease£was not* unlikely to he developed at any moment. Hysterical .. isi^Ti<^-~<rfttieEui»dre«|s1 oflhiwi^nds executed in GemtSoy for crimc--was (lister Anna lieBjjM*Jlangdr, sub^pinoress of a aun- neijaapt Wurtbnrg. Tt*> same tjpg was pes® among joune women exposed to Sundry fanatical Protestant preach­ ers; insanity, both temporary and ner- manent, was thus frequently developed among the Huguenots of France, and has been thus produced in America, from the days of the Salem persecution down to the ^cuuu*Bifi6tiQffdn of tha present time. -- Popular Science Monthly. fonthly, Meeting of Levers. Picturesque sights are to be jftjlv ftf rioq+lo »_ UBU* ttli ' 'uxuucu. xuc UIUCI UK^ as the steerage passengers were being landed from the steamship Etruria, a tall, well-built young man called at the Garden and told the gatekeeper that he wanted to meet a iriend. lie was di­ rected to the information bureau, to which he repaired He appeared nerv­ ous and would not sit down. He asked Roundsman Conlin when the passen­ gers would be landed. The roundsman directed him again to the bureau, where CI$rk Raven noticed his uneasiness and asked him what was the matter. The young man said he came here from Ireland three years ago. His fa­ ther and mother were dead. He was poor. He loved a girl in Ireland named Lillie Walsh. She was 15 years old and he was 20. He wanted to marry her but she would not consent. Her father was dying of consumption, and she would not leave him. She promised to wait ttr him. He placed, a wedding ring on her finger and sailed away. Two months ago she wrote to him that her father was dead and she would sail on the Etruria. Like all men, Clerk Raven is human and could not withstand the appeal. He went into the rotunda and soon re­ turned with the soon-to-be bride. She looked about eighteen years old, tall and queenly, with rosy cheeks and cherry lips. Her eyes were black and sparkled like coals. Her hair was dark and concealed from view by a neat little bonnet which sat coqnettishly on her head. Her dress was a neat one of black silk, and set off her form to per­ fection. The joy of the two young lovers at meeting was very touching, and drew tears to the eyes of Detective Peter Groden, who is used to such scenes. Taking her tenderly by the hand the young man, whom she called Tom, led her around the path to the rear of the police office. Here they embraced half a dozen times and lavished kiss upon kiss upon one another. They did not speak. Their eyes alone told their tale of love and waiting. Placing her arms around his neck she gazed with long and lingering fondness into his eyes, while he kissed and caressed her. This continued for fully fifteen min­ uter, the police officers and reporters watching the scene and envying the young man's position until a newsboy entered the gate. He did not recog­ nize the solemnity of the occasion, and with aloud "Break away," he dashed up the garden path and Btartled them from their dream of bliss. Gently re­ leasing their embfaoes, but joining hands, they walked slowly toward the baggage room to check her baggage and m a k e p l a n s f o r t h e f u t u r j e . -- ^ Press. • Fainting Oat •! Fashion., * 1;" In the dear, dull old novels that fed the sentimental minds of a vanished age the heroine always fainted at the least hint of anything that touched her tender sensibilities. She fainted . at a moment's notice, or without a moment's notice, and the oftener she fainted the more charming was she. Fainting had the double fascination of enlisting the reader's sympathies and bringing the hero and the heroine nearer together. After the first faint­ ing tit described the reader felt sure that matrimony was the inevitable gould to which the author would lead those who figured as fainter and resus- citator. Fainting was one of the reg­ ular forms of courtship, which no au­ thor could afford to ignore. Fainting, felicity, and sentimental woe made up the ponderous drivel of the book. This fainting frenzy had causes for its existence. The feebler a woman was physically and mentally, the more adorable she was. Good health was considered vulgar, strong nerves a re­ proach and strong minds a shame. Pale, delicate heroines, with no brains whatever, who fluttered gracefully be­ tween the sickle of death and the wings of Cupid, filled the romances with ex­ hibitions of their weakness. Maidens out of books imitated them, in the very nat­ ural belief that whatever types of wo­ men were charming to men in fiction would be equally pleasing to them in real life. Even the hero of romance was out of health, had a brow "sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought" and kept distressingly near the grave until the last chapter of the book, when he won the fair Elinor and took a new j lease of life. We have gained some- I what in good sense and taste since the ' beginning of the present century.-- Drift rr.?w,-.j ' • • •: ±1 1 , „ f: Progress vs. Prejudice. ̂ ., ̂ J . "Laura," said the old man, "will yo« have some takers ?" | "If you refer to the farinaoeous tu-.' bers which pertain to the solanum tu- I berosum, and which are commonly j known as potatoes," replied the sweet | girl graduate, "I would be pleased to be I helped to a modicum of the same. But taters? Taters? I am quite sure, papa, that they are something of which I never before had the pleasure of hear­ ing." The old man pounded on the table until the pepper castor lay down for a rest, and then remarked in a voice of icy calmness: "Laura, will you have some of the taters ?" "Yes, papa." Is our boasted high-school system a failure or is it not?---Terrs' Haute Ex- prem And I*rotwflP*l||i$Rlvrd |||||§^:4httlafaatS«a He W ^ you afrflUMiavel?" powerful man who uttered stood in the -center of a g)KMgi^S>b%& street corner in a far Wedj«fft-|»wn. As he spoke he brought his hajfcd down heavily on the shoulder of a fnfid-lookmg stranger who was passing by aad turned him half-way round. The tall, powerful man had previously winled at the bystanders. "You don't remember me, I s'pose?" he ooatinued, with a fierce frown, as he tightened his clutch on the stranger's shoulder. "Why, no; I can't say I do?" replied the mild-mannered man, looking at him wonderingly. ^ "You've forgot all about the time you leaned out! of a car jest pullin' out of Cheyenne, and knocked my hat off, I reckon"?" "I certainly don't remember anything of the kind," protested the bewildered stranger. "I never saw you before." "O, yes, you did! You may have forgot it, but I haven't. And he em­ phasized the assertion by a vigorous shake. "I haven't forgot it, an' I've said a thousand times since then that if I ever met you agin I'd make you apolo­ gize or fight." "Now that I think of it," said the mild-looking stranger, stopping to pick up his hat, which had fallen to the ground during the shaking process, "it seems to me I do remember something. I suppose I am bound to give you satis­ faction for it." His bewildered look had all gone by this time. Placing himself in an at­ titude of defense he danced About the big man in a way startlingly suggestive of previous practice. "Before I mop the sidewalk with you," said the other, "I want to be sure I ain't mistaken. Your name is--is Snaggs, ain't it?" "Snaggs, replied the stranger, Rant­ ing a blow on his antagonist's jaw, "cer­ tainly! Snaggs will do as well as any­ thing else. Snaggs it is!" "But, hold on! I want to be dead sure! The man I'm lookin' for is Jerusalem Snaggs." "You've found him, my friend," ex­ claimed the stranger, as he banged him on the nose. "I'm Jerusalem Snaggs,"- he continued, making a feint with his left rtml administering a vicious upper cUt with his right. "O, yes, I am Snaggs (biff), from (•whack) Snaggs- ville, Snaggs County (bang), near the headwaters 'of Suaggs Creek. Office hours from 1 to 24. Come early aud avoid the rush." » With a final blow under the ear he laid the burly fellow flat on the ground. As he turned to go he said: "My name, gentleman, is Jerusalem Snaggs, of course, but for convenience sake I go around under an alias." And lie took from his vest pocket a card and threw it on the prostrate body of the big man. After he had gone away somebody picked it' up and read: . D. JEMPSEY, ' . < If raOMKSOB OF SCIENTIFIC i MTSPBCUX ATTENTION DBVtnftr • •. 'I"' *aiid* ...... eoptks'If._ a|p#«Mp«>f any £ngli&. azine sd3ihg w «be same price. 'With American literature goes American thought, which in time must modify English opinion on many topics of which it now takes a narrow prejudiced new. . _ • Reasons; for Insomnia. Are you afflicted with insomnia? Per­ haps you have too much time for sleep. Perhaps you depend too much on sleep for rest and recuperation. For sleep is not the sole rest of used-up nerves. Sociability, congeniality and the enjoy­ ment of good company rest the body quite as much as sleep. The dreary monotoiiy of life in many * household,- involving this tumbling into bed with the mechanical regularity of a machine at 9 or 10 o'clock in the evening, does not always rest weary bodies. "Early to bed and early to rise" does not al­ ways make a man healthy, wealthy, or wise. Numbers of organizations are only capable of five or six hours' sleep at a time, and their early lying down to rest is often succeeded by aa early waking up and a consequent restless tossing for hours preceding daybreak. The practi­ ces of punctuality are often surprised' after breaking their own castiron rules, and passing two or three later hours of mirth and jollity past their usual bed time, to find themselves even more re­ freshed in the morning than usual. The relaxation of sociability h^s rested them more than would sleep or an at­ tempt to sleep. But these are con­ ditions not so easily reached in the aver­ age family. In fashionable life we have a formal, exhausting and mechanical evening of more or less dissipation. On the other hand the evenings ef great numbers of families are monot­ onous humdrum. They involve the assemblage of the same people, the same surroundings, the same pater­ familias yawning over his paper, and the same querulous mamma overladen with family cares. Fresh people with fresh thought, fre-h atmosphere, anything to stir up and agitate the pool of domestic stagna­ tion, ate sadly needed and sadly scarce. There needs to be also a constant suc­ cession of such fresh people to bring about the*e results. The world is full of men and women, and in a l>etter .regulated life it would be the business after the day's work was done to enter­ tain each other and give each other fresh life. As it is now, hundreds if not thousands of^our households are little better than ceUs for the incarcera­ tion of each family. Thousands are thus worn out prematurely from utter lack of domestic recreation. There might be written over the graves of hundreds of thousands: * Bored, to death by the stagnation of domestic life."--The Christian at Work. * mntm pcaiuffn. • 1'* --Chicago Tribune. * 4,1 Oa and «f a Bicycle. Tommy (to amateur bicyclist) --Sister said she saw you riding your bicycle last evening. Bicyclist--That was impossible. I have not ridden for a week. Tommy (positively)--Well, it was quite dark when she saw the fellow she thought was you. She was positive it was you. /, Bicyclist--Why was she so positive? Tommy--Because you kept falling off your machine all this time you were insight. .. 1 "How long do mosqnitoes live?" asks a correspondent. , That depends a good deal on the kind of fellow they light oiv A "Tramp" Printer. John G. Gantt, who is widely known as the most remarkable typographical tourist America ever produced, struck this city recently. This eccentric printer is 72 years of age, and has been tramping continuously ever since the close of the Civil war. He is known in every country printing establishment in the Central and Western States, and in many of the offices of the South. He was born in an island just off the coast of Florida, and when 17 yeays of age went to Philadelphia, where he was "bound out" to learn the printers' trade. After serving an apprenticeship of four years he continued to work in Philadel­ phia until the breaking out of the war, when he enlisted on the side of the Union, and served until its close. A likeness for traveling caused him to take up the vocation of "tramping," which he has followed ever since with such poor success to himself. He stated to the Globe-Democrat corres­ pondent that his longest tramp was made in 1884, when he left this oity November 4, for the 8outh to search for his relatives, of whom he had heard nothing since be­ fore the war. He went through all the, States between here and Florida and returned by the same route, reaching Cassopolis, Mich., just six months after the date on which he left here. He kept a careful account of the number of miles he traveled, and the total length of the journey was 2,800 miles. He learned that all of his relatives, several of whom were quite prosperous before the war, were either dead or had re­ moved to unknown localities. This vet­ eran "typo" makes this city about twice every year, but never remains longer than two or three days, no matter how good a job is oflered him on the cases. He has recently become the editor of a unique newspaper called "Gantt's Typo­ graphical Touristwhich ispublished on the road. Four numbers have been issued and all at different towns, The paper makes its appearance monthly, and is full of quaint, original matter from the trenchant pen of Gantt. He prepares his "copy" in the cool shade of some tree while traveling, and is allowed the free privilege of issuing his paper by some kind publisher. . One of the novel features of the paper is a black list of the names of all subscribers who have not paid up promptly.--Columbus (IncL) Cor. Globe-Democrat A Big UirL Mothers are always surprised when their d&ughters gr iw beyond their reach. Mother England is perpetually as­ tounded at what her huge American daughter has accomplished, and when our enterprise steps in and shpws her how to do things she does not always comply with very good grace. The* Pall Mall Gazette recently com­ plained of the invasion of England *by American girls who carry off the -best matrimonial prizes under the very noses of their English sisters. This is not the only form of American invasion of En­ gland which has come about in recent years. When we were in London in 1871 the ojily American products we saw were Wenham ice and the horse rail­ road in the City Road, then just opened, and which the merchants going down to the city fought very shy. preferring to ride on the <top of omnibuses rather than encourage such a new-fangled Yankee notidn. We were about the only passenger that ventured to enter the car. But now-a-days American producfcions^ire everywhere met in En Very Close Quarters. This lively incident occurred Muring the recent stay of the duo d'Orleans in India, where he has been serving as a lieutenant in the British army. He visited Lord Dufferin at Calcutta, and a grand tiger hunt was organized, which lasted six weeks and ranged over 160 miles of country. The duke shot eight tigers. The incident referred to he relate 3 as follows: "Two cubs of a tigress had been shot, and the mother hemmed in by a line of elephants. There was^fm Men that she was crouching in a small patch of jun­ gle behind a tree on the bank of a small stream, but none of our elephants could be got anywhere near it. After some time, my elephant, being pluckier than the others, was induced to move for­ ward and push a tree down. While thus engaged, the tigress sprang out from beside it with a roar and a tre­ mendous leap right to the top of my howdah, smashing in the front of it-- breaking my gun with <one blow of her paw and exploding the right barrel be­ fore I had time to fire. This is the gun," producing a double-barreled rifle broken in two pieces just below the barrels, the trigger guards and metal plates wrenched off and twisted by the force of the plow, and one barrel dis­ charged, the other still at half-cock. "Fortunately for me," continued the prince, "she then tumbled backward, possibly startled by the explosion, and made off for the jungle. My elephant, mad with fright, bolted in the opposite direction, and for a considerable dis­ tance nothing would stop her. When at length we got back to the others we found the whole line of elephants so demoralized that we had to give up the sport for the day, and return to the camp. Next morning we cornered our game in nearly the same spot, and I had good luck to bring her down just as she was crossing the river." " What became of the mahout when the tigress leaped on the elephant?" was asked. "Oh, he managed to. slip around in some extraordinary way under the ele­ phant's ears, and was unhurt, but lost his headdress." gland, veutions nothing o(^fcmerican in- telephone, there sw Somewhat Toe Witty.; ̂. It's a great thing to be readf-wftted. We saw an instance of it the other day. Over at the Union Depot, in Canal street, they have an "information bu­ reau," and a neat sign over the window announces the fact. It's a very clever idea, since a great many people fre­ quently want to know something about the town or about trains, but it is the only one in town and it strikes unsophis­ ticated folks as very queer. I saw a flip young fellow look at the sign the other day and smile. Then he went up to the wiudow aud I knew he was going to try to be funny at the bureau man's expense. I edged up carelessly and heard him ask: " What kind you got?" "Kind o' what?" asked the informa­ tion man. "Kind of information ?" said the flip young man. The bureau man "tumbled** in a sec­ ond. He saw he had run against a joker, but he didn't show it in his manner. He just said, in a business-like tone and a perfectly straight faoe: "All kinds." - V "Does it come with or without^: • "Both way. Which'll you have it?* "Got any cut bias?" "Plenty, and stripes down the side." "Is it red, white and blue?" "It is, and shot with stars; also fringed. How much'll you have?" The humorist seemed to .be disap­ pointed in some way, for he mumbled something and sneaked away, looking as crushed as a banana-peel under a 200- pound man's boot. I asked the man at the window if he had many customers of this kind. He laughed and said that the traveling men usually had fun with him wlus ' thar had tun imi BatikwRwd to Dflckk Oa. text XtW*wta Be PreWy Sorer*. yoitngman. A woman i*1iy«Te* as hard onVyoung man for jttliigla girl as on a to! for jilting a young rfian. ^Fred, if you did that to me--if you went off with another know what I would do?" "No, dear. What?" ' *"1 would simply get hold of you and tell you what I thought of you, and then I'd leave you and never speak to you again." "Would you really do that?" < "Yes, I--no. I don't think I wonld. I would despise you and have too great a contempt for you to take any notice of it at all or of you ever after. If you think so little of me after all you've said you cannot be the gentle­ man I thought you were." But, I say, dear, I haven't, you know; I haven't done anything at all." "No, I know you haven't; but if you were to, if I found that you were mak­ ing love to another girl--I'd--no--I wouldn't--I'd just be as nice as I could to you--doubly nice to you--and I'd make you so fond of me you couldn't live without me, and then I'd turn around and tell you I wanted nothing more to do with you." "That would be mean." "Well, so it would. No, I guess I'd go to you and tell you quietly that, although you were so contemptibly double-faced it couldn't be. I have too much self-respect, and that you were free--free to go with anybody you lilrtvl w "That would be better./* "Would it? Oh, that^wouldn't be all. I'd make you suffer--oh, I'd make you suffer if you VT9T treated me like that." "What would you do?" "I'd wait till I got a good opportu- nitv and I'd humiliate you." "How?" "I don't know, but I'd do it all the same. Maybe you think I'm stupid; but Pd show you." "Shall I tell you what you'd do if you ever found me out ?" "Do you mean to sav you have al­ ready? Well-- "No. If I ever did do yoti know what you'd do?" "What?" "You'd go out and get waother young man and make it out you jilted me." "Well, I guess that's what I really would do. after all."--Sati Francisco* Chronicle. ? * 4 . - i n Only an Indian Woman.r' / Here is an account of the brave deed of an Oneida Indian woman, whose courage seems only equaled by her pride of race. Driving into the fields one day where her husband and others were at work she encountered a log lying across the road in such a Way that she could not pass. As there was no one near to help her, and the log was beyond her strength to move, she proceeded to cut it in two with an ax she had in the' wagon. gurpr rbea had disturbed a mother bear and her family of cubs. The bear, more fright­ ened than angry, took to the woods, and the woman walked in search of the men and theft firearms. Finding them, she conducted her relief party quickly back to the log, to find that the bear had also returned. WTien all were stationed ready for action she again used her ax on the log aud the bear made her second appear­ ance, this time angry and vengeful The man who stood ready for just this emergency missed his aim, dropped the gun, and with all his other masculine companions took to his heels. Left alone with the infuriated beast, with only an ax for defense, this Indian woman ooolly waited until the bear came near enough, and, letting the ax fall with all her might upon its head« killed it with that one stroke. The same weapon applied to three of the little orphans effectively prevent ed their ever realizing their loss, and the other she kindly adopted and car ried home with her. Reaching her home she found her husband, son and others assembled there, anxiously speculating as to what could have been the result of the en­ counter they had failed to see ended. Standing before them, with the cub in her arms, she scornfully surveyed them from head to foot and exclaimed: "Cowards, you have no Indian blood in your veins." A "Pi«n«»sw Man. Owe day *n old fellow from the Cedar Bluff neighltorliood came into the office of the FiaukJia (Kehtuckv) Patriot, and said that he wanted to see the ed­ itor on mighty important business. "I am the editor," said a man step­ ping forward. "My name is Allbright," the visitor remarked, "Luke P. Allbright." "Glad to meet you, Mr. Allbright. What can I do for you ?" "Wall, I sent here the other day and had some funeral tickets struok off fur my wife." '"I hope the job suited you, sir," M Wall, yes, the job was all right, but it turned out that my wife wa'n't dead." ' t "Ah!" "Yes, ah. I had dun paid for the tickets and was about to send them out when the old lady come to. So you see I ain't got no use for the tickets." "Of course not." "And I lowed that I moutget you to take '«m back." " Whv, my dear sir, I can't do that." "Wall, but you see they ain't no use to me. Wouldn't like to send out a lo t of funeral tickets for my wife when she's in fa'r health with an average appetite. It wouldn't look exactly right, you know." "That's all very well, but I don't want them." ^ "Wall, send me yo* paper oneyear fur them, anyway." " "No, sir, I won't do that." *' "Wall, then, say six months." "No, I won't--won't send it to you ten minutes." "Now, here, mister, I'm out a dollar and forty cents on you. I tell you what, take me to dinner with you and well call it square." "It's square already* so far as I am concerned." "I have • seed a good many men, Mister Editor, but you air the most pizenous fellow I ever struck. Good day. Ef I ever ketch you out in my neighborhood 111 waller you."--Arkan­ sas Traveler. While, recaHiajl^^rBongi reminis­ cences. it may bCWmtereat ib men­ tion one communicated to me by Col. McEwen: , "Gen. Kimball occupied my house as his headquarters. An incident oc­ curred there which was rathefc stqsnge to me. About 4 p. m., aftar the Gen­ eral had left for the field, there lin­ gered a Colonel from Indianapolis in my parlor; he was a lawyer, and a nice man; he asked my daughters to sing and play him a piece of music. They hesitated, but I answered for them. 'Yes.' My daughters asked what they should play. He replied that he had not been in a parlor since the battle of Oak Hill was fought, and that he did not know one piece of music from another, except field music. I then «poke tip and asked the young ladies to sing and play a piece which had re­ cently come out, 'Just Before the Bat­ tle, Mother,' telling the Colonel that it was a new piece. At my request they sat down and played and sang the piece about half through, when I stepped to the door and a shell exploded within fifty yards. I immediately returned and said, 'Colonel, if I am any jjidgc, it is just about that time now!' He immediately sprang to his feet, and ran in the direction of his regiment, but before he reached it, or by that time, he was shot through the lungs, the bullet passing quite through him. He was taken back to the rear, and on to Nashville. Eighteen days after I re­ ceived a message fiom him through an officer, stating the fact of his being shot, and that the piece of music the young ladies were executing was' still ringing in his ears, and had been every moment that his eyes were open since he left my parlor the evening of the battle. In April, four months later, after the war was over, he had suffi­ ciently recovered to travel, when he came to Franklin, as he stated, ex­ pressly to get the young ladies to fin­ ish the piece of music and relieve his ears. His wife and more than a dozen officers accompanied him. He found the ladies, and they sang and played the piece through for him in presence of all the officers, and they wept like children."--Dr. Henry ^ Field in the Evangelist Tht Closing of an Important Outlet. The blockade of a port la not more injurious to Its commerce than is even the temporary obstruction of the bowels to the health of the system. Constipation necessarily ariusts the secretion of bile, impedes and disorders di­ gestion, and poisons the circulation. The Bafest and most effective, as it is also the most genial, laxative and aiitf-bilions medicine in existence is Hoatetter'B Stomach Bitters; and it is more than probable that its sovereign efficacy as a preventive and remedy for entarmittent and remittent fever ig largely due to its reformatory action upon tiu» liver, an organ prejudicially involved in all malarial com­ plaints. Persons with a tendency ftlso to rheumatic, neuralgic and kidney trouble can­ not do better than to antagonize it with Mos- tetter's Stomach BUtei's, which invariably checks it at the outset. The weak, moreover, &rc nuuutfiu by m%. vigorani. Ke Merc Spirits in Hers. - -<i A well-known society widow who has worn the "weeds" for a little over a year, and whose temper is said to have a strong dash of Zantippe in it, attend­ ed a Spiritualistic seance one day last week. Table rapping was in order, and she seized this opportunity of commu­ nicating with "the late lamented." "Are you happy in the other world f she asked. 7;' '• •"*"* A single tap signified "yes." ^ ' "Happier tnau you were in this J*" , Again "yes* was rapped out. ^ "Thenyou must be in heaven?* , Then there was quite a long pause, and all held their breath as the shade of the late Mr. B. alphabetically rapped out, "On the contrary, I am in hell." The gay widow hastily grabbed her satchel and departed, vowing that Spiritualism was an arrant fraud, while those present who knew her smiled audibly. -- Wasp. Climate for Consumptives. ' [if tlio several climates of Florida, Coloradd, and California have each been much pre­ scribed for sufferurs from lung disease, yet thousands of the natives in those States die of this fatal malady. A far more reliable remedy is to be hud in every drug store in the land, and one that can be used at home; a remedy which Is sold, by drug­ gists, under the manufacturers' positive guarantee that, If taken in time and given a fair trial, it will effect a cure, or money paid for it will be promptly re­ turned. We refer to that world-famed remedy for consumption (or lung-scrofula) known as Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis­ covery. It is the only remedy for this ter­ rible disoaao possessed of such superior curative properties as to warrant its manu­ facture in selling it under a guarantee. DON'T hawk, aud blow, and spit, but use Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. Of druggists. N E W B 4 & 0 _ -il^icKnecii. _ Had rheniniLttmn la ' St. Jftcobs Oil earn £. H M at*aa* jnma9T AT D»VOOT8!>i A NIj DR.tl.KIU. t A. V06ELER CO., Bsltiasart, •& MENTION THB TUHUL hand, etc* thoroughly fr*«. Bwums MENTION THIS PAPSK Johnstown Horror! Raftlll»" i v. ry township. Term QUfcSffc. National Pob.Oo, ISO JKHTI'W THIS inrirres7s pot montn a WAKTFH) "T tmt In a I fty promptly uri to OR tfaalcn aad aampM aw* Fl SAIART. -- W W H W 1 w -- • SSBAF HOMES IN TBIIST I Large and smaU farms aad paeinros ••crtidk land. Delightful climate. Send for p&ntaUat. TEXAS EiVESTMJKST CO., Co>'szc*HA.$EXM. Ptoo's Remedy Ibc Catarrh to It* IB Beit, Easiest to DM, and Che&peaL H C ATA R R H 8oM by droggMs or aent by naU 0c. £. T. HaieJUoe, Wmtmd, II It Naturally Followed. Bobby--Oh, mamma, you know the two nickels you gave me when I started down town--one for the poor blind boy at the corner and one to buy a boll with ? Well, I lost one of them. Mamma--Which one did yon lose? Bobby--The blind boy's nickel, of course.--Omaha World. Wba* In the world is the wse of sitting around waiting for something to turn up? You might just as well sit down in the meadow and wait for the cow to oome up to be milked. Get up and shako yourself and make up your mind to turn up somethinu. If you have nothing delluito in your mind, then write to Ji. F. Johnson & Co.. liidi- mond. Va., and they will teil you a thln& o# two that will make you jump for joy. HALF MTES Farming Rehohs WEST, SOUTHWEST, NORTHWESR. Viiocipides, Bicyelesjricyctos CHILDREN'S CAMtlAOU, Lilies' ud Guts' Bitte (Ms Mi At Factary Prl«M. floMb d«llT> •red to ai! polnta wltfcta TCI Mtlea ~ Chicago, Send for Catalog**. CHAS. RAISER, 62 mnd 64 C/ybourn Arvtue, CHICAGO, ILL* NORTHERN IfLOSmeEMILMM FREE Government ersiUMMt W MSSB ot «wk ill Dakot*, Montana. Idaho, W Dakota, KMte SEND FOR ^Tlunu^K® UhNTlON THB TIig Great Liver For the cure of all disorders of fit* 8/r?r.0L1oLiv«S%ES5a ES: EASES, LOSS of APPETITE, HEAD­ ACHE, CONSTIPATION. COSflVE- NESS, INDIGESTION* WLKMIS- NESS, FEVER, INFLAMMATION of the BOWELS. PILES, Mid <•* rangemmta of tho Inttmat ra. Purely Vegetable, containing no mercury, minerals, or DELETE* RIOUS DRUGS. PERFECT DIGESTION Will a c c o m p l i s h e d b y t a k i n g R A I WAY'S PILLS. By so doing ID^rspepsiet, SICK. HEADACHE. FOUL STON* ACH, BILIOUSNESS, will be avoid­ ed, arid the food that Is eaten eon- tribute its nourishing properClee to the support of the natural waste of the body. Price tte. per box. SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS. iflf yam* stonkcaper Is out ef Uwe. Mil the price to RADWAI * CO.. SS WaiCps Street. New York City. V'5 ALMEITS MAGNETIC INHALEI Patented Jmm 12,189> Price. One Dollar. Magnetism and Menthol as Remedial and Curative. Agent, M':- ji" - *£• i.' from time to time many invtintioiu and devteaa^ nave been placed upon the market claiming eatarrb. neuralgia, bronchitiii. etc., iaimiac to oM many of whiek tcneuc euiUit At the theater: Blobson (rising excitedly)--Down with that red um­ brella * in front! Mrs. Blobson (drawing him back)--For mercy's sake, j hush up! That ain't an umbrella. It's a new spring hat. FOB washing: flannels, Dobbins' Etoetrio Soap is mmrcflous. Blaukets and wooleaa wasned with it look liko new. aud thare U absolutely no shrinking. No other soap in the world will do aucb perfect work. Ships are very polite. They always meet the ocean's wave with a bow. are said to contain electric or maicnetl powers. Dr. Palmer i* a sentleman who ha* fewtrt m ttts of study to the t-ubject of catarrh and dlaeaMS otfla head, throat, and lungs, and bomu lime alike* Ika teommeuced a series ot •'itM-rtmenta with a iwr tS< detemiiniuif whether any combinaUon ooaM ha' formed which wonhl kill ihe parasite ami M# M lieal 1 lie pout r *t the t-atiie time, and at laMpa W0 - ceedet! liKtetemiininjr thai menthol, wbeebofclfcllie®-with magm ti»m. would do tso, Int how to irmi» Uiet<e Kt'eruititily opposite scents ao aa to vnsder* , . their une coiiveuieut and rffw.-i.nal wan a qawttahof.' Blobson some difficulty. AtlonjithheKiicceedediaceaflBMVr within a vulcanite tube three iuchea kMBC IHIMI three-quarters of au inch in diameter a Pert" ~ netic battery in the form of a coil of Kteei the iiitt-rior of this battery is i ti ll il I IIlil •!allll I imported menthol. The euds of the TfrTit art tip-- . by nickel caps, which, when ivrnowA admit M a* free inhalation of the electro iuealhoitaadair. Ihs menthol acts a* a Beriuacnie. white I>|| mimn electric force gtimulatiiiK the vrakiininl anww at the diseased parts into healthy xctiuH forns 41 dertul healniK pewer. theiebj eeceewteWy ~ anv further depredations. The fumes wheti inhaled am rofmibiM aad Ing. aud for the immediate nJBefaewl upe#" catarrh, cold in tho head? har ferer. head ralcia. > atarrhal deatne**, etc.. it in WMqi It cure* headache in live minutes. More Ul one ot the diseases immediately aStectafl bp baler. Commencing colds can he btgkMi hour* by a few iui-piratious fr*»m this utti* _ - the ihroat and bead, and pmtlMOa no «raal. Thkbe are 200,000 models in the United States Patent Office, illus­ trating almost every conceivable phase of human ingenuity, but the model husband jefc remains to be in­ v e n t e d . v ' , , " , A Fair Trial Of Hood'a SaraapariUa wiU convince any reasonable person that it does posaess (treat medicinal merit. We do not claim that every bottle will accomplish a miracle, but we do know that nearly every bottle, taken according to directions,does produce positive benefit. Its peculiar curative power i* shown by many remarkable cures. 1 was run down from close application to work, bnt as told I had malaria and was dosed with quinine, eto.,which was useless. I decided to take Hood's Sar- eaparilla, and am now feeling strong and cheerful. I tael satisfied it will benefit any who Kive it a fair trial." W.M. Bkamish, -.V". Spring St., New York City. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by all druggists. »l; six for $5. Prepared only by C. I. HOOD & CO.. Lowell. Mass. IOO Doses One Dollar DETECTIVES Wiat«d la tvffj eoufitT. filirwdBta ta vt anlfr HI oer BecfH Herri ce. KxpeHenc« a ot ti«ce*«*rr. S*o4 stamp* SrsMMOtteciivt Bureau Co. 44 Areata, Ciacinoati.0. JOSEPH H. HUNTER,'IBS* tor. To 'leui atid refreshing sleep at mylti. it baa &o e<raa inspiration is pi- asaivt and «fleet IIIIIVBM NotliiDK like it has ever been placed oa wSsaaHD>S before. I s price is moderate, its •ukiMisa# vclous. and no family can afford to be witlhMHt these inventions. Beware of imitation, as there are persot s el Ka*ed in the manufacture of a amS' inha er that strongly resembles the genuine. Full dnvctious, te timouialfc, etc., Kentwitfceacfe instrument. If yon are afflicted with Catarrh, send S1.M at pet a Magnetic Inhaler, which is certain toiM instant relief and a permanent cure. iiMresa • £. Wslt, W«st«ru Ax*ut. 871 rraakttaM* Chicago, AIL I prescribe and u. U.1I(QJuha)C, IssirSa, RX c.!». ct' tt^S. Sold by 1 ___ WRITING TO A» e my m saw Um ~ (Matter.