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W I tlt 5VK trOtTX^fO StKlSP." Wichita JCiifik says that tiro following rpoem wa-. left mt t hut «m&$ by ato tmKtewn B who came to ask for work.] N«w tho camp-fire's flickering tight ' Jv. ia..r Mtiiket bed I l:-i, r , ,f , ,* jjflajdni;; tbrorir.i the shades of njj^bfcr' • ^At the twinkling xtars on higK • . K|>irii8 fu tfie air •' -r"-\ V,Silent vigils eeein to keep. : . s r;. v •4H8 I breathe my childhood prayW1 "'v ' ' .{*"Now I lay me down to sleepA i^V.- sings the whippoorwill ,,: ;In tli« boughs of yon '.cv tree; the dancing rill SwoIJu the midnight malody. uiErj" i«< lurking near ...yain the cajon dark and deep; p *'^Z ®j|bw I breathe in Jesus' ear--- * '• ' •* *1 pray the lord my soul to ke40>* < "'Slid the stars one face I see. One tho Savior called away; iinthor. who in infancy T«ui<?lit mv baby lips to pray. * th r sweet spirit hovers near V . In this lonely mountain brake,6i tfol Wike mo to lier. Savior, dear, j,;. • •: "If I should die lwfcrre I wake.1i, l :* ?* f, - . Stointer grows the flickering ltgmfcV" < As eaali ember slowly dies ; Plain! ivoly the birds of night, '• till the air with saddening cries, Orel mo they seem to cry: ... "You may nevermore wajce." J&ow I lisp. "If I should die, ' ; 1 pray the lord my soul to take." i^Sow I lay me down to sleep, 'i: *1 pruv the Lord mv soul to keep; J*X should die before I wake, ' "I pray the Lord mv soul to take." 1DWARF ON DWARFS. |L Book on Diminutive Persons M , ' • ten by a Very Small Man. Writ- History of Dwarfs by One of Their ;iWumber" would be a novelty in litera- 4ure, and odd as it may appear, just ? £nch a book is bejng prepared for the press here in Fort Wayne, writes W. P. •CJooper, Fort Wayne, Ind., correspond­ ent of the St. Lonis Globe-Democrat. jjFhe historian stands three feet arid Sihree inches in his miniature boots, and for over a quarter of a century has been tifore the public in a professional way. e has exhibited in every city and town •t;*f the land, has traveled much abroad, '#|xas been patronized by royalty and en­ joyed an acquaintance with people of distinction, outside of tbe world of Lilli- fut, that peculiarly fit him for the task e has undertaken. Moreover the little gentleman is a dwarf in the physical ^nse of the word; his intellect is well developed, he ia a constant reader, well 'informed on current topics, can hold liis . #wn in a discussion on political, religious " v0r scientific themes, speaks three lan­ guages perfectly, and in his extensive •travels has, by keeping his eyes and i sears well open, contrived to inform liim- <$elf to a degree quite surprising. Seated in the library of his luxuriantly vjfarnished home, Charles W. Nestel, Jfejaown to the public as Commodore vj?oote, chatted pleasantly to the Globe- Z0)emocrat correspondent about his Jfrook, running over as he did so his *iotes and some advance sheets from the publisher, which lay on the little table ; Jpefore him. At his elbow sat his pretty |$ister Eliza, called the "Fairy Queen," dies with her babe. Such was the saa ending of the life of Minnie Warren, sister of Mrs. Tom Tbumb, who had married Maj. Newell. Both had been exhibited by Mr. Barnum as dwarfs, but the Major grew to be 5 feet in height, and , as his contraot with Barnum called for a' dwarf and not a giant, his increase in stature led the Bridgeport showman to cancel the en­ gagement. The Major was last before the public as a roller skater and jig dancer on high pedstals. As a profes­ sional dwarf he may be said to have got above his business." No dwarf, in Commodore Foote's opin­ ion, has attracted public attention so much as a certain Polish gentleman called Count Bowroiaski. He was ac­ counted! one of the wonders of the world for his smallness of stature combined with high intellect. He was born in 1789 and lived until 1837, dying at the patriarchal age of 98. When 1 year old he was 14 inches in height; at 6, 17 inches; at 10, 21 inches; at 15, 25 inches; at 20, 28 inches; at 25, 35 inches, and he never grew beyond that height, but naturally, in old age, even became more dwarfish. He visited England in 1770, and Avas ac­ counted a great curiosity, for even learned men were pleased with his so­ ciety, as he displayed great powers of thought and was an accomplished soholar. Longevity in dwarfs is met with so frequently as to suggest that their span of li:e bears a sort oi inverse relation to their height Richard Gibson,miniature painter aud Court dwarf to Charles I., lived to be 75, and his dwarf wife, Annie Shepherd, to be 85. Sir Geoffrey Hud­ son, dwarf and diplomatist in Charles II., expired at 63, and the little gentle­ man's life was shortened by his incar­ ceration on suspicion of connivance in a treasonable plot in the Gate House at Westminster, where he died. Maj. Stephens, an American dwarf, first ap­ peared before the public over forty years ago. He died at the advanced age of 60 years. The most famous of modern dwarfs were the little people that P. T. Bar­ num long exhibited--Charles S. Strat- ton, better known as Gen. Tom Thumb, who was born in 1837, and died July 15, 1683; Lavina Warren, who married Stratton;her sister, Minnie Warren, who was the wife of Maj. E. Newell, and George Washington Morrison Nutt, of Manchester, N. H., better known as Commodore Nutt, who was born April 1, 1845, and died in New York City May 25, 1881. From the exhibition of these little people the shrewd showman made an immense amount of money, and ad­ vertised them as dwarfs were never ad­ vertised before. In Barnum's book the fact that he long exhibited a spurious baby as the offspring of Gen. and Mrs. Tom Thumb is carefully ignored, but is nevertheless a matter of general notoriety. The babe was procured at a fondlings' home, but it persisted in out growing its usefulness, and its profes­ sional existence was a short one. After the death of Gen. Tom Thumb, the HIGH LIFE BELOW STAIR& ?sw merry little elf of the exact height of'I ,lue widow was married to Count Primo ler brother, and his intelligent co-la- . Jborer in all his undertakings, prompt­ ing the Commodore by apt suggestions sOtf half-forgotten fact, anecdote or ireminiscence, smilingly excusing her little interruptions with the remark that "the "Commodore is getting quite^pld, &ou know." Mr. Nestel was born in •'.Wort Wavne forty-two vears ago, and •Pi ss Eliza is ten years his junior. He Weighs about fifty pounds and is about the size o|^shild four years old. Both rents ould accident and are unusually Nestel's occupation mith, and such he ave remained but for irth that made his two children BO attractive as to win for him- Celf and them comfortable fortunes, |which they enjoy in a sensible manner. tThe Commodore wears an elegant gold #nedal which he received at the Conven- ifaon of Little People, held at Washing- |fcon, I). C., in November, 1862, for be- tng the smallest and best educated little jman of all those present. Their private rooms would readily be taistaken for the plav houses of pam- rsred children. In each is a tiny bed, diminutive dresser, and chairs and tether articles of furniture that would Swell become animated dolls. The min­ iature furnishings is even carried out in Jthe equipment of the stable and car­ riage house, where are found in little igt&ils a pair of dainty Calcutta ponies, #og«tl*er with a chase and road wagon t|>I miniature proportions, in which the -little pair spend an hour or two on fair 'days. It takes six yards of silk to 3&ake for Miss Eliza an elaborate dress, en train. Her tiny shoes are made Itimore, her gloves in Milwaukee :fer corsets, in New York. She is a nable and tasty dresser, and, be- shapely figure and pretty face as as a sparkling conversationalist, 5«he is an especial favorite at many so­ cial gatherings in the city, where, by season of her long residence, the curi­ osity of her small stature is quite lost sight o£ ""For several years after I had ceased /to grow," said the Commodore, "and, indeed, after my education hal been well advanced,my reputation as a dwarf was scarcely more than local. At that 4ime I began to attract public attention •and was sought out and engaged by an enterprising showman, the late Col. Ellinger, who paid my father so large a compensation for the privilege of exhib­ iting me that his eyes opened in amaze­ ment. When Eliza had lived two years and had developed as other children do, she, too, Suddenly ceased growing, and In time was added to Col. Ellinger's show, in which we sang, danced in cos­ tume and gave sketches of Irish, Dutch, *nd Yankee comedy. Col. Ellinger paid my father $4U0 a week. The com­ pensation for dwarfs in those days was 'very liberal, but the number of little people has increased so surprisingly Mogri, an Italian midget, in New York City, April 6, 1885. The second hus­ band has a dwarf brother known as Baron Littlefinger. The smallest dwarf of which there is any account is now before the public. Her name is Luzie Zarate, a Mexican. She is exhibited by her father, a man of more than ordinary development. She is 21 years old, weighs nine and three-fourths pounds, and stands about twenty-four inches in height. This bit of humanity is not pretty or is she strik­ ingly intelligent. However, her mem­ ory for faces is so surprising that after once conversing with a person his face is at once recalled wherever and when­ ever met with. She is a little chatter­ box, and loves to be the center of a curi ous throng of people. For the honor of being the smallest of men there are many clainA ats, but the palm belongs to F. Flynn, better kno.wn as Gen. Mite. He comes from Greene, N. Y., and stands a little over two feet in height. His weight is but nine pounds. Scarce larger than^ this speck of humanity is Maj. Atom, of New York City. He is a nephew of Admiral Dot, the clever little singer and dancer, handsomest of all dwarfs, who was dis­ covered by Barnum in California, and who was for several years an attraction in his tent-show. Atom aud Dot are Hebrews. The Little German Bose is also from California, and is a Jewess. Beside the Nestels, Charles and Eliza, extreme smallness of stature is found in more than one member of nu­ merous other families. Commodore Nutt had a dwarf brother, called Maj. Rodney Nutt. He is neither handsome nor otherwise attractive. The Italian midgets--Jean Petit and Piccalomi-- are brothers. They first, appeared in America in 1869, and mede some repu­ tation aud money as clever performers. They have returned to Italy, and are not now exhibiting. Tbomas Bonham and his two sisters are Lilliputians of fine education and reside in Pennsylva­ nia. They decline to go upon exhibi­ tion, scorning to be racked as freaks. The Walters dwarf family were resi­ dents of Virginia. Maj. Hiram Walters was born April 26, 1810, and was three feet six inches tall. Capt. William Walters was born on Ipril 18, 1824, and was three feet seven inches in height. Miss Roxana Walters was born Dec. 25, 1815, and was a trifle over three feet in height. Miss Katt. Walters was born July 20, 1818, and is about the height of Roxana. Two of the prettiest and most exquis Xfagllnh Servants, Their DtHlen, Pleasures, nil(i WagM!!--An Army of Servitors. In England there is as much differ­ ence in the rank of the several servants aa there is between their different em­ ployers, says the New York Journal. The autocrat of the servants' depart­ ment when there is no house steward is the butler. The rest of the household address him as "mister" and he pre­ serves order among the men and exer­ cises authority over all. The housekeeper ii? the head of the women servants and she is "mistress" to the maids under her control. As a rule, a dignified woman of a certain (or rather uncertain) age, she takes the onus of the detail work of the mistress's hands and sees that all orders are carried out. When no housekeeper is kept the cook is the female head of tbe servants' de­ partment and takes the place of the housekeeper. The servants are divived into two grades--the upper and lower. The up­ per strata include the house steward or butler, or both; the housekeeper, or if m>ne, the cook; and the ladies' maids. When the housekeeper h kept the cook generally belongs to the lower level, aud is the head of that division: A valet belongs to the upper house. In the lower house, or tha house of commons as it may be called, are the cook, housemaids, kitchen maids, foot­ men, coachman, and grooms. The line between the two grades is as strictly drawn as between the lower and upper classes. The upper servants take all their meals, excepting dinner, in a special room, which usually goes by the name of the "steward's room." The lower servants eat all their meals in the servants' hall, excepting tea, which the maids eat in the "stillroom." In ninety-nine houses out of a hun­ dred all the servants eat their meat for dinner in the servants' hall. Tho lower servants assemble promptly on the stroke of the clock' and stand at their places at the table. The upper servants meet in the steward's room, the head domestic leads the way and they troop into the servants' hall. The lower ser­ vants remain standing until the upper are seated, when the former sit down themselves. No conversation is allowed while the joint is being discussed. When the meat course is finished the whole table rises, the upper servants march out in the strict order of precedence they entered, and ajourned to the steward's room, where they enjoy the pudding and the dessert. The lower servants regale themselves on cheese, and both can then talk to their hearts content. In the steward's room strict orders of precedence is observed. The butler sits at the head of the table and the housekeeper or cook at the bottom. \ isitors' servants take rank according to the rank of their master and mistress. The table of precedence, as laid down by Burke, is more * steadily observed down-stairs than it is up-staira. The maid of the lady taken in to dinner by the master of the house is taken in to supper by the butler, the rest following in like order. A visitor's footman consorts ifrith the lower division, but if he is dignified by the name of valet, or is the butler, he is housed in the steward's room aiid en­ joys pudding every day, which the lower set only get twice a week. Upper servants are particular how they address each other, the prefix Miss, Mrs., and Mr. being always de rigueur. The wages in England are not what they are here. A butler gets £50 a year; a cook, £30 to £40; a lady's maid, £20 to £30; footmen receive £18 to £25; housemaids, £10 to £20; the kitchen maids, £8 to £12. A coachman gets from £30 to £50; grooms, £20 to £.30, and strappers, £12 to £20, according^ to age. A liead-gardener from £70 to £150 and house and coals, and under-mon from 15 shillings to £1 a week and they feed themselves. Head game-keepeis receive about £70 to £100 with a house provided and under game-keepers about the same as nnder-gardeuers. ^ All house servants, however, in addi­ tion. to the above scale, get "beer and washing money." The upper servants get 2s to 3s 6d per week for beer and from 18d to 3s for washing money. The lo ver servants get about half those rates, the lowest beingX js a week for beer and Is for washing. Of course a big estate has a pay-roll as long as that of a factory. The head man is the agent, who has entire con­ trol of the property. Next to him is the baliff, who looks after the home, farm, and the cattle. The others are under men of different kinds. Niceties of the English Language* Without grammar our language, says London Tid Bits, would not be availa­ ble at all. We recently met this sen­ tence: "If fresh milk does not agree with a child, boil it." Which? The milk or the child? To prevent a stu­ pid, matter-of-fact nurse making a mis­ take and committing murder, we must be tautological, and write, "If fresh milk does not agree with a child, boil the milk." Carrying out orders too literally is sometimes unpleasant, as a friend of ours once discovered, when, having told her footman, who was a model of obedi­ ence, that when Mrs. Brown and her daughter, a grown up young lady, called, he was to carry them up into the drawing-room. i Mrs. Brown's dismay may be im­ agined when, asking for her hostess, ite little ladies who have ever been ex- 8^e caught up by the stalwart at- hibited are the Adam sisters, Lucy and attendant, and, in spite of her remon- Kadia Their home is Martha's Vine- ^trance and kicking, carried safely up-Sadie. yard, Mass. Charles Rise and his two sisters--known as the German midgets --are still on exhibition. The Murray triplets--John, Joseph and James-- were celebrated Liliputian attractions. They were born in New York in 1863. that our earnings have been greatly re- TV H Q ,w duced. There are at the present time afterward' a" Zmber 'f U^ Dutton Children Liliputians. The little lady has become insane, and is now in a mad- over sixty little people on and off exhi­ bition in America. I mean persons small enough to be classed as dwarfs. The little people professionally travel­ ing in all of Europe number less than twenty. In my book the queer mar­ riages of dwarfs and their family rela­ tions will be of much interest, I hope, beeause the facts have not been gener­ ally known and have never been col­ lected for publication. Many little la­ dies have married men of the usual physical development and many male dwarfs are yoked to women of normal size. These marriages are often mere business alliances. A lady dwarf may marry her manager and a male dwarf lias often ensnared the affections of a lady who might have been expected to demand at least an equal amount of physique in her life companion. "It is a fact that no female dwarf has, «vex borne a child, matornity inevitably* Moving fatal to both mother and babe. The theory is that dwarfs are not smal­ ler than other infants at birth, and their midget mQtlifiX£ .are incapable of bring- iog i!The mother always house at Naticlc, Mass. Col. Speck, of New York State, is a successful business man at. Moravia. Gen. Joseph Totman, stairs and deposited before her aston­ ished mistress. The historian does not relate how the other lady got up. Davidge tells a story of a somewhat obtuse actor who performed the char­ acter of a dumb boy. The stage direc­ tions are: "Enter Hugo, who advances to the king, shakes his head, and kneels." To the horror of the stage- manager, and the amusement of the au­ dience, the actor advanced to the king, caught him by the ears, shook the of Maine, is a prosperous merchant, he king's head vigorously, and then sank is 25 years old and stands three feet four n his knees before assaulted majesty, inches in height. The list of little Which anecdote, by the way does not people who earn their living off the 8ay niuch for the system of conducting stage might be considerably extended, rehearsals at that particular theater. Commodore Foote has been at pains to collect interesting facts pertaining to all little people, and the forthcoming book will be conspicuous as the first and only elaborate published accounts of their lives. The Flag They Quarrel About. The flag which inspired Francis Scott Key to write the "Star Spangled Banner," and which its present owner, Mr. Eben Appleton of this city, refuses --- 1 tolend to the people of Baltimore to be One for His lienor. displayed on the ramparts of Fort Mc- A sarcastic lawyer, during the trial of Hetiry from September 10 to 14, when a case, made use of the expression, the anniversary of the bombardment of "Cast not your pearls before swine." the forfc is to be celebrated, was made Subsequently, as he arose to make the by Mrs. Mary Pettengill, one of Balti- argument, the Judge facetiously re- more's patriotic women. She used 400 marked, "Be oarefttl, Mr. S., not to yards of bunting in its manufacture, cast your pearls before swine." The flag was originally forty feet long ' "Don't be alarmed, your Honor, I am and twenty-nine feet wide, but it is now about, to address the jury, not the considerably smaller, having been court.--^«/t Time*. ; shipped out on the ; by the wind. It has the regulation thirteen red and white stripes, but only thirteen stairs in its blue fields. It was presented by Mrq. Pettengill and other patriotic wo­ men of Baltimore a few days before the bombardment of Fort McHenry, on September 14, 1814, to Lieut.-Col; George Armistead, grandfather of Mr. Appleton, and who at that time was in command of the garrison, numbering about 1,000. The flag was flown over the. fort on the night when Francis Scott Key walked up and down the decks of the cattle ship Mioden, watch­ ing the bombardment. After the bombardment aud tjie practical defeat of the British fleet a silver punch bdwl and a dozen silver goblets were presented to Col. Arm- stead by the city of Baltimore. The punch bowl is of the shape of a bomb­ shell, and the goblets represent powder barrels. The flag has upon one of its stripes, in Col. Armstead's waiting, his name, title, and tho date of tho bom­ bardment. The flag fell to the Col­ onel's widow by inheritance, who, at her death, left it to her daughter, Mrs. William Stuart Hamilton, <*who was born at Fort McHenry some time after the siege. Buried Cities of America. Recent explorations in Central Amer­ ica and Southern Mexico go far to con­ firm the belief held by many arclweolo- gista that America is extremely old. In the State of Chiapas a tine, broad paved road, built by prehistoric inhabi­ tants, has been traced from Tonala down into Guatemala, and thence in a curve up again into Mexico, terminating at Palenque. All along this rOad are still to be seen the remains of ruined cities, and a care­ ful estimate of the one time population of these places is about thirty millions. On that part of the road near Palen­ que the ruins are of great magnitude. Houses four, and often five stories high have been found in the depths of the forest. i Many of these houses are pyramidal in form, and so covered are some of them with vegetable mold that large trees are growing from the roofs. In some of the houses employment has been made of stone beams of tre­ mendous weight, and the architecture indicates a high degree of science. In some of the houses visited, bronze lamps have been discovered, and the in­ terior and exterior decorations of the more important houses consist of panel- ings, filled with elaborately carved figures, almost life size, two types of men and women being represented, some plainly Egyptian and others gen­ uine Africans. In front of one of the houses the ex­ plorers found fourteen sculptured gods with folded arms. Another discovery was that an enor­ mous paved road extends from Palenque across Yucatan to the Island of Cozu- mel, and is c mtinuod on the island. Palenque explorers assert that they have discovered in the edifices before mentioned, examples of a perfect arch. One explorer is a scientifically trained man, who lias recently arrived from India, and by his account the region from Chiapa to Yucatan must have been the seat of a densely populous na­ tion. Possibly it may never be known who these strange people were, as they have apparently left no literature behind them. But in the light of the discov­ eries in Egypt, deduced from hiero­ glyphics, and the history of Babylon and Nineveh we have gleaned from the cuneiform bricks, it is not beyond probability that we may some day know the history of this extinct race. It will be very interesting reading, beyond a doubt. Getting Even with the Condemned. Nearly a score of years ago, when I was a reporter on a St. Louis daily, an atrocious murder was committed in a locality about two hundred miles away. A farmer killed his wife, mother, and brother, and then coolly sat down on the doorsteps and waited to be arrested. He admitted his crime, explained his reasons, and in due course of time was convicted and sentenced to be hanged. A few days previous to the date of exe­ cution we got a sly pointer that the murderer was going to make a state­ ment or confession of startling interest, and the city editor bundled me off in a hurry to get a "scoop." "I found the Sheriff a very good-natured man, and very soon afteir my arrival I was per­ mitted to see the condemned. I ex­ plained why I had come, and he re­ plied : "Yes, I am going to make a state­ ment; but how do I know you are what you represent?" "Here is my card." "But that won't go. Any one can print what he likes on a card. I want a certificate from the paper." I telegraphed to the city editor, and he telegraphed me back a "character," but the prisoner shook his head and said: "I can't take anything of that sort. I want a written certificate." It took me two days to get it, and I was in a sweat all the time for fefcr some other paper would get onto the case. I lost no time in getting up to the jail with the paper, and the con­ demned read it carefully, and then ob­ served : "I am now quite satisfied that you are all right." "And n< w for the statement," I re­ plied, getting out paper and pencil. "Well, you oan say that after mature reflection 1 have decided to declare that I am innocent of the murder of which I have been oonvicted." "But--but--you " "That's the statement, sir, aijdihat's all. I claim to be an innocent man. Good night." I had been badly sold. That was the sum and substance of the sensation, and indeed all he would say. Three Crazes. , Who of us is so forgetful that he can­ not recall the blue glass craze ? It was contemporary news with the frolicsome planchette. It would be difficult to say which provided the most amusement. The chief difference was that Gen. Pleasonton's idea seemed to borrow from heaven; it was of the heavens, heavenly. All vegetation was suscepti­ ble to the cerulean call the general made. It was as wonderful, what he could do with a gooseberry patch, as the diablerie of planchetbe, that made husbands hesitate twice before they per­ mitted planchette to tell where they had been so late out o' nights. It was a harmless craze after all, and so we dismissed both of them. Another and more stupendous humbug has struck the country, but brief as its day has been, and it is almost over, it has wrought more evil in an hour than any craze that has occupied valuable space in our public prints. In the hands of impetuous, indiscreet and callow M. D. s, the elixir craze threatens to be a vast eril--Pittsburg Bulletin. She Was Bone Living With a Clam. "Tkev came in arm-in-arm," writes a subscriber. "He wt\s not more than forty-five, long-haired and sorrowful looking, blad in striped pants and a yel­ low vest, and the woman who hung to his arm looked as though she had just finished house-work and hadn't time to slick up. " 'This is my wife, mister,' said the tall man as he stepped inside the door, and she squatted down to rest on the side of the coal-scuttle, 'and we came to hev you put a little notice in the paper sayin' how we're done with one another.' " 'Is it a dissolution of partnership?' " 'Yes, that will do as well a# any­ thing else, won't it, Jane ?' said he, turning to the figure in the cornet. " 'I ain't particular w'at you put it down,' put in the female; 'don't begin to ask me now w'at I want.' "The old man drove his fingers into his vest pocket and fell into a deep reverie. Then in a moment he started up again and said " 'Write it out, mister--write it out. I'd kinder like to hear what it reads like afore I go.' " 'But what's the trouble--what are the grounds of complaint?' he ques­ tioned. o " 'When I find that a woman ain't willing to sew up the holes in my pants and keep the buttons on my shirt; when she gets to frying potatoes in lard and gives me corned beef for a Sunday dinner; when I find a woman doing such things as these, mister--why, then's when I \Vaut to ship her.' "'He's got it right, sir,' said the woman earnestly; 'he wants to quit me and I want > him to. I'm done livin: with a clam*. I've tried to be squar with him, but liels a man as hasn't got any more brains than a cow, mister,' said she, growing more and more earn­ est, 'and he acts like a brute. There's l o v e i n m e w h a t w a n t s t o b u r s t b u t he's grouty and surly and has nevei given me a kiss since we were married.1 " 'But cah't we settle it in some pleas- anter way ?' " 'Not a cent's worth,' said the tall citizen, decidedly. 'You don't get no settle on my plate, 'cept just its I've said.' " 'That's the way it's got to be,' said the female again, 'when a man don't care enough about me to let me warm my feet against his back, I quit him then and thar. Bill was a good enough man before he was married, but, mister, he turned out to be a snoozer.' "Neither of them spoke a word then, but sat and stared at our pen as it traced the little notice; and when it was done they listened anxiously to its reading from beginning to end. " 'That's it.,' said the man. 'Now no one needs to trust her or me and look to t'other for pay--that squares the business right here, as fur as living to­ gether goes. And now I leave you.' "They looked at each other and sighed. The tall man gnawed the end from a plug of tobacco, and then, as he walked 'up to where she was, he stretched out his hand and said: " 'Here we go, Jane; so put her thar. This is all squar', hain't it, Jane, and no giggling?' " 'That's all right, Bill, I never cry. I'm hoping that no one'll ever go it on you more'n I have; for I've alius thought a heaj. of you. But, Bill,1 said she, pulling him down to her, 'be careful what you do; don't go to marry­ ing any other woman till after I'm dead, fur if you do I'll bust you I How, good-bye.' " 'Good-bye.' "As they stood there with hands clasped, they looked at each other long and earnestly. Then Bill turned quickly on his heel and clattered down tbe stairs; and when in a moment the sound of his footsteps had died away on the pavement, Jane gathered up her skirts and asked: " How am I for a grass widow, any­ how?' and then she left."--Sunday National. An Episode of Slavery Times. When Col. Ralph Plumb, ex-member of Congress from the Streator (Illinois) District, was in the city the other day he told a couple of clever stories at his own expense. In Washington, one day, a member said to him: "Plumb, you're the first man that ever went from jail to Congress." In 1858 Col. Phimb was confined for a month or so in the jail at Cleveland, Ohio, for alleged complicity in releasing Jack Price, a runaway slave, from the custody of the United States marshals at Wellington, Ohio. Referring to the affair Col. Plumb said: "I had never seen Jack Price, and had never heard of Jack Price, but when I heard he had been decoyed into the country from Oberlin, kidnaped and driven on to Wellington, nine miles away, I admit that I offered up a prayer for his escape. It was for that prayer I was sent to jail with some twenty others. Soon after our incarceration a mob of 5,000 people surrounded the jail and threatened to tear <it down unless we were released. I and two others mounted the yard fence and earnestly counseled against violence, advising them to disperse and let the law take its course, and at length they dispersed. The other day I attended an old settlers' meeting in Ashtabula County, where I lived fifty years ago, and one gray- haired man shook me by the hand,' ret-, minded me of the Cleveland episode'^ of which he was an witness, and remarked that that was the first time he had ever seen me 'on the fence' in politics."-- Chicago Times. . ! r' City Breakfasts. Mr. Hayseed (at a city hotel>--My gracious! Marier! Wake upl Weli be too late for breakfast! 1 Mrs. Hayseed--Why, Joshua* it's dark yet. t : ( "Can't help it, Marier. They must have breakfast early here. I just heard a man knockin' at the room next to us* an' tellin' 'em it was 4 o'clock. He for­ got ns, an' it's luck I easy. I just tell you these 'ere city folks don't waste no j^me gettin{ to work."--New York Weekly. ' Didn't Get the Honey's Worth. Minister--Uncle Peter, you have never paid me the $2 for maftrying you, and it's over a year now. Uncle Peter--I knows I hasn't, sah, I knows I hasn't. But I wah gwine ter ast yo', Mistah Goodman, if yo' cuddent negotiate fo' er reduction. Yo' see de lady 'tained er divorce las' week, an' it 'pears ter me, sah, dat payin' out $2 fo' er weddin' ceremony dat only lasted one year, am mo'n it's wuth--deed it am!-- Harper's Weekly. LET a man practice the minor virtues. How much of life is lost in waiting! Let him not make his fellow-creatures wait. How many words', and promises are promises of conversation! let his be words of fatft. VISITOR--That engine acts very queerly, it seems to me. Engineer-- Quite likely, air. It has an ecoentrie rod. English Sparrows. Th# Department of Agriculture, af Washington, has recently issued a bul­ letin of more than four hundred pages entitled, "The English Sparrow in North America, Especially in its Rela­ tion to Agriculture." Dr. Merriam, the ornithologist of the Department, under whose supervision the work has been prepared, says, in a prefatory note: "The English sparrow question has grown to be.a serious problem in eco­ nomic science," particularly so far as the agricultural interests are concerned," and whoever reads the evidence pre­ sented will be ready to concur with this opinion. Our first English sparrows, so far as can be ascertained, were brought to Brooklyn in 1851. Since then they have been imported to many other places. The birds are liow abundant in the town and villages of the whole country east of the Mississippi River, and there are large or small colonies of them in many of the States and Terri­ tories west of the river, even to Cali­ fornia. As to the undesirable character of this vast body of immigrants, there is now substantial agreement among all ornithologists, while people in general have already come to the same opinion. In the State of New York it is made a misdemeanor to leed or shelter them; Michigan and Ohio offer bounties for their destruction; in Massachusetts, Rhode Island, New Jersey and Penn­ sylvania they are excepted from the le­ gal protection extended to most of our native small birds. ' The Agricultural Department has testimony from all quarters, and the re­ sult, as published ih the bulletin, leaves no doubt that the sparrows are compar­ atively useless as destroyers of injurious insects, while they not only drive away native insect-eating birds,* but them­ selves destroy great quantities of grain and fruit. On the last point the following is but a sample of many testimonies: "Since the middle of April," says a Washington observer, "when the peach blossoms began to unfold, the sparrows are to be seen at all hours of the day hopping or creeping about the peach trees, and leaving little but worthless buds behind. "Occasionally a flock of. a dozen or more is to be seen in a single tree, and every one thus far watched with a glass has proved to be destroying blossoms or buds at the rate of five or ten a min­ ute. One bird was seen to cut into and ruin nineteen blossoms on one spray in less than two and a half minutes. On several of the trees which I examined carefully with the glass more than half the blossoms were wilted and mu­ tilated, and repeatedly sparrows were seen to alight on twigs which contained few but ruined blossoms, and, after a quick glance, pass on to sprays of un­ touched flowers." Pear and apple trees suffer in the same manner, and cultivators of grain, grapes, peas, lettuce, and indeed of fruits and garden vegetables generally havo similar stories to relate. In short, the English sparrows have already be­ come what Prof. Alfred Newton, the eminent English ornithologist, writing iu the Encyclopaedia Britannica, pre­ dicted they would become--"an intoler­ able nuisance." Several years, ago the American Or­ nithologists Union recommended: 1. That sheltering or otherwise fos» tering the sparrow be discouraged, and that its introduction artificially into new localities and its sale for such pur­ poses be forbidden by law. 2. That all existing laws protecting the sparrow be repealed, and that boun­ ties be offered for its destruction. The Agricultural department now says: "The English sparrow is a cur&u of such virulence'that it ought to be sys­ tematically attacked and destroyed be­ fore it becomes necessary to deplete tho public treasury foir the purpose, as has been done in other countries." Parrots Kill the Sheep. You have no doubt heard of the great rabbit scourge in the provinces of Aut»* tralia, aud how the Government of New South Wales has offered a reward of $125,000 to any one who will invent some effectual means of ridding the country of the pestiferous little animals. Thomos W. Knox, in his last book of travels, tells us about the parrot scourge there, which is almost as de­ structive to sheep as the rabbit scourge. The rabbits eat up the pasturage and the parrots attack the sheep themselves. When the sheep farmers first estab­ lished their stations among the mount­ ains there were flocks of green parrots living in the glens and feeding entirely on fruit and leaves. They were beauti­ ful birds, and no one suspected any harm from them. After a time it was discovered that many of the sheep, and they were inva­ riably the finest and fattest of the flock, had sores, on their backs, and always in the same place, just over the kidneys. Some of the sore3 were so slight that the animals recovered, but most of them died or liad^to be killed to end their sufferings. The cause of these sores was for some time a mystery, but at length a herdsman on one of the high ranges declared his belief that ithe par­ rots were the murderers of the sheep. Investigation showed that in the severe winters the parrots had come at night to the gallows where the herdsmen' hung the carcasses of slaughtered sheep and picked oft the fat from the mutton, showing a partiality for that around the kidneys. How they ever connected the car­ casses with the living sheep is a subject fpr naturalists to puzzle over, and es­ pecially how they knew the exact spot where the choicest fat was to be found in the living animal. It seems that the attacks on the sheep began within a few months after the parrots had first tasted mutton at the meat gallows. They are gradually being exterminated, but the sagacious birds that formerly came without fear int^ the presence of man now venture out only at night. The Last Gnn of the War. When and where was the last gun of the war fired in Georgia? A. number of answers given at the time, but the one that strikes me as most probably the correct one was given me in Savan­ nah a day or two ago. I Was walking .up Broughton street with a friend when he stopped and pointed across the street to a plain two-story brick residence. "That," said he, "was the home of Chas A. L. Lamar, as gallant a soldier as ever wore the Confederate uniform. He was killed by the last gun of tho war fired in Gergia." "Where was that?" I asked him. "At Columbus. Evan Howell, of the Constitution, was near him at the time. It was the very last shot fired on Georgia soil.--Atlanta Constitution. *A TELEPHONE girl always reminds me of a pictured saint" "Why?" "There is a continual 'hello* aronnd her head.--Puck. *0LLY AS IT FLIES. Sit fever will 'make even the wHtt unassuming man blow own horn. THE hotel clerk needn't put on airs. Lots of newspaper men use paste, too. REV. PRIMROSE--The tide waits for no man, my young friend. Merritt--So they say. Still, when one lies down on the sands, it seems to wait till he's asleep. HOUSEKEEPER--Norah, you must al­ ways sweep behind the doors." New Servant--Yes'm; I always does. It's the aisiest way of gettin' the durrit out of sight FAT MAN (panting at tbe top of the stairs he has just mounted and mop­ ping his face)--Isn't this hot? This is the time when a man wants a coat made out of all button-holes. DR. JOKER--Your dolly appears to be out of sorts to-day, doesn't she? Dolly's mother (4 years old)--Well, I guess you' feel out of sorts, too, if you had all the sawdust spilled out of, you." SINCE you have insisted on trying on my hat. Miss Mabel, I shall certainly claim the forfeit." "I don't know what you mean, sir, and besides this isn't a good place; they oan see us from the hotel." , LITTLE ELLA--Aunty, I have come to tell you we've got a little brother! Aunt Sophia--I'm so glad. How doe* he look? Little Ella---Very well; but he is perfectly stupid. He doesn't know papa. HE wanted a change -- Oklahoma Boomer--I've seed lots of Texas Jacks, Denver Dans, Colorado Charlies, Mexi­ can Dicks, and sech fellers, since I come here, but what I'm haukerin'teb see now is some Dollar Bills. A COUNTRYMAN was ordering a tomb­ stone for his brother. "And what sized letters do you want us to use for the in­ scription?" asked the man of marble. "Oh, tie biggest you've got" He was awful near-sighted.--Puck MINISTER (to Johnny, who is digging worms for bait)--Johnny, don't you* know that it is wrong for you to do any work except work of necessity on the Sabbath? Johnny--Necessity? Ain't this necessity? How's a feller to do any fishin'if he rf^n't have bait? YOUNG Mr. Cal Lowe--What is your opinion of the idea the application of raw veal to the face will preserve the complexion? Miss Vera Chestnut-- Really, Mr. Lowe, I think if you want a kiss you might ask for it directly in­ stead of hinting around in that fashion. MISS SPINSTER (to widower's son)-- How would you like me for your mamma, Harry ?. I would be so affectionate aud tender to you. Master Harry--Guess you couldn't be tender to me. Miss Spinster--Why, dear? Master Harry --Cause I heard pa say you were no chicken. BENSON--They tell me that laughter is a great health promoter. Young Grant--Don't you believe it, old fellow. My father fell' down and smashed his shin yesterday, and I laughed till I was ready to drop. When he got up .he 'whaled' the life almost out of me. A health promoter? O, no!" POLITICAL economist--The way to <yire this trust trouble is for every one 'to stop using all articles monopolized by trusts. Friends--I knew a man who tried that. P. E.--Noble fellow, where is he? Friend--First he was arrested for not being sufficiently clothed, and then, he starved to death. "OH, George," she murmured, "I know you are strong and will protect me, yet even now, as we recline in this swinging hammock, I am surrounded by fear." "Fear, my darling!" said George De Romelvy, "what fear can surround you?" "Atmosphere," she chuckled, and the hammock broke down to pun­ ish her. * NELLIE (sympathetically)--You poor dear! What a narrow escape! And what started the horse ? Gussie (indig­ nantly)--Well--you know. Will was just helping me out of the buggy, and --the stupid horse could not tell the difference between a--goodnight--kiss and a signal to start. And he just -- started. Some horses have so little --sense." "WHY," said Mr. Litekash to his wife, as lie read a newspaper description of her dresses worn at a a reception the evening previous, "am I like Descrip­ tion?" "You know very well that I de­ test conundrums, said she. "Yes, but this is a good one." "Well, what's the answer ?" "Here it is," and he snowed her a sentence: "Mrs. Litekash's cos­ tume beggared description." Coffee Test. The ohief analyst of the Dominion department of inland revenue publishes the following directions to his collectors of coffee samples for making their pre­ liminary tests. It is Hagar's method modified: Prepare a saturated solution of common salt. Shake up a small quantity of the coffee to be tested with ten times its bulk of the brine, in a test tube at least three-quarters of an inch in diameter. Repeat the shaking twice, so that the coffee may be thoroughly wetted, and then allow the tube to Btand for half an hour. Observe then the color of the brine and the quantity of the sample floating on the surface, as well as the amount deposited in the tube. If the color is a very pale amber, and nearly the whole of the coffee floats, the sample may be assumed to be pure. A decidedly darker or yellow tint indi­ cates admixture of chicory, eto., in which case there is also a larger deposit. This increases, and the color of the brine grows darker with the impurity of the coffee. With 30 per cent, chicory, the brown color is very marked, and with a still larger percentage of adul­ terant, the brine becomes dark brown. --Boston Herald. To Soften Wet'StifTened Shoes. "The women have a new use for vase­ line," observed a Fifteenth-street drug clerk, as he jerked his thumb over his right shoulder in the direction of a well-dressed lady who was leaving the store after having made a purchase af the petrolum compound. "What's that?" "They are using it on their shoes now." "On their shoes?" "Yes, and the ladies must be giyen credit for having made a valuable dis­ covery. The ingredients of vaseline have a wonderful effect on fine leather, and it is fast taking the place of all the compounds manufactured for softening the shoes. Take a pair of shoes that have become stiff and uncomfortable by oonstant wear in the rain and apply a coat of vaseline, rubbing it in well with a cloth, and in a short time the leather becomes as soft and pliable as when it is taken from the shelves of. the shoe dealer. Yes, indeed, this rainy weather has caused quite a boom in the vaseline trade."--Washington Post. T HE blacksmith welds iron with seal injc whacks.