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'-^"y!-' •' - .--vm • ~ fi <-jj - f : ' •'r'Si:.. il' - • • <•» , . WOULD ASK HIM TO COME AGAIN. B«* Mr. P«ntecoat Would Reoeif* a JB«*rgtar in Hie House. People often amuse themselves VT thinking and saying what they believe they would do if a burglar broke into the house at niglit. Of course they know very little about it, and fortun­ ately very few persons are called upon to put their professions to the test of actual experience. In discussions on such subjects, however, it is usual for each speaker to assume and assert that he would act with ordinary jommon sense, if not with some degree of cour­ age. Very seldom, indeed, can a man be found who will admit that he would conduct himself like a miserable weak­ ling in the presence of a thief. Some clergymen, however, appear to enter­ tain different ideas from oommon people In reference to matters of this sort. Hugh O, Pentecost, a missionary preacher, made a remarkable statement in the course of a sermon at Newark as to what he would do in case a thief got into his dwelling, "If I knew a burg­ lar was in my house at night," he said, "I would go to him with a light, un­ armed, and talk to him as I would a friend whom I desired to help. If he then desired to take my goods I would make%o protest, nor would I cause his arrest. I would follow him to the donr and invite him to call again." " And the reverend gentleman went on to say that if Mr. Luca, the Brooklyn grocer, had acted in this manner, he would be liv­ ing to-day and his assailant would not be in jail. \ It is very difficult to argue with a man who talks like this, says the Sun, because there is no common ground of agreement upon which the discussion can begin. But a few questions and illustrations may serve to show the folly of such wishy-washy utterances. Sup­ pose Mr. Pentecost was living in India, and he wake up some fine night and found a tiger in his dwelling. Would he take li light, like Lady Macbeth, and go up to the tiger unarmed, and begin then and there to try to tame and domesticate the beast? There are thousands of good people who think it is just as wrong to be oruel to animals as it is to be cruel to men; and doubt­ less they are right, if the cruel treat­ ment is needlessly inflicted. But when a man meets a rattlesnake in his path he does not give the reptile an op­ portunity to strike, in order to ascer­ tain whether the creature may not be good enough to run away if .let alone. If he is a man of sense he takes effect­ ive measures at once to avert the possi­ bility of evil, just as Marshal Nagle did in the case of the assault upon Judge Field, The time to argue with a burglar or would-be murderer is when we have rendered him powerless to do evil, and the place to reform him is in prison. This missionary clergy­ man declares that he would let his im­ aginary burglar take his property with­ out making any protest. Well, suppose a burglar, instead of coming after his property, came after one of his children, like the California bandit Morales, whose abduction of a beautiful young girl from her father's" house near San Diego was reported recently? If he would let the burglar go so readily, or rather with an invitation to call again, in the one case, why not in the other? We have no patience with so-called Christian teaching of this kind. There cannot be too much Christianity, but give us the manly sort, such as Charles Kingslev taught, and no more of tlii* sentimental nonsense. How to Get Good Claret. Whilst vast quantities of wine in the Medoc are bottled at the end of the second year, the line wines are kept in casks until the third or fourth year. Once in bottle, well corked, the mind oi man may be at rest about his wine, which, up to a certain limit of time, goes on improving. Where occasion for 'care again presents itself is in getting the wine out of the bottle with­ out shaking. Most wine pantries are furnished with a small basket, in which the wine bottle may rest whilst the wine is drawn into the decanter. Wine merchants, wine tasters and experienced wine drinkers in the Me­ doc do not trouble themselves about these contrivances. They carefully lift the bottle from a horizontal to an upright position some three or four hours before it is wanted for the table. At the same time they carefully mark the side of the bottle that has lain up­ permost, and in decanting pour out the wine from that, as it is sure to be free from dust. With steady hand they draw from a bottle a maximum quantity of absolutely clear, bright wine. Any one who desires to drink a good glass of Medoc or Bergundy will not decant it till almost the moment it is required, thus preserving the freshness of the aroma. Good wine needs no bush: but in our climate (which, by the tvay, the experts of the Medoc declared to be the best possible for storing fine wines) it is better for a little warmth. Rather than drink red wine in the winter months drawn from a celler in which the tem­ perature has not been maintained at a desirable pitch, it is better to put the wine where it may feel the fire. A better way still still is to leave it on the mantlepiece of the dining-room for four or six hours before it is to be decanted, when it will have an opportunity of ac­ quiring something like the temperature of the room. It is well worth while warming the decanter before pouring in the wine, so that it may not receive the shook of contact with the cold glass. A Grave-Digger Passes a Bad Night. A few nights ago, while a party of young men agd women were walking under the shade-trees skirting the seventeen bodies here. As I entered j the door closed with a bang, and I saw | that I was caught. The lock is a spring , lock, and opens only from the outside. At first I laughed, but as no one came to my relief 1 soon quit that. When j night came I was thoroughly frightened, j There was no fun in the prospect oi j passing a whole night in a narrow vault j with seventeen corpses. Then 2 shrieked for help, but no one came. I must have fainted, for when I woke tht sun was shining. I knew no one until you came. Fm going into some othez business now." A VALLEY OF DEATH. How Rockets Are Made. Rockets are made for three purposes: for signaling, for decorations or cele­ brations, or as projectiles in war. For signals, the charge consists of twelve parts of niter, two of sulphur, and three of charcoal. The ornamental or deco­ rative rocket is the one we see used on the Fourth of July, and the composition of which it is made comprises 122 parts of mealed or finely pulverized powder, eighty of niter, forty of sulphur, and forty of cast-iron fillings. The main part of the rocket is a case, made by rolling stout paper, covered on one side with paste, around a wooden form, at the same time applying con­ siderable pressure. The end is then "choked," or brought tightly together, with twine. The paper case thus made is next placed in a copper mould, so that a conical copper spindle will pass up through the choke, and the composi­ tion is then poured in and packed by blows of a mallet on a copper drift or packing tool made to fit over the spindle. The top of the case is now closed with a layer of moist plaster of pans one inch thick, perforated with a small hole for the passage of the flame to the upper part, or "pot." The pot is formed of another paper cylinder slipped over and pasted to the top of the case, and surmounted by a paper cone filled with tow. The "decorations" are placed in the pot and are scattered through the air when the flame, having passed through the aperture of the plaster, reaches a small charge of mealed powder, placed in the pot. The stick is a piece of pine wood, tapering, and about nine times the length of the rocket. It is to guide the rocket in... its flight. The decorations in the pot m4y be "stars," "serpents,"marrons," "gold rain," and so on. "Marrons" are sinall paper shells filled with grained powder and pinned with quick match. /"Ser­ pents" are sm&U cases about one-half inch in diameter, in which is a com­ position of three parts niter, three sul­ phur, sixteen meal powder, j one-half charcoal. This composition tai. driyen in the case, the top of which Is closed by plaster of paris, having a'smr>'.l aperture through which passes a pi/i?ce of quick match. / Disease in Lower Animals. The theory is held that' some of the lower animals suffer from disease in­ duced by the same family of germs that cause typhoid fever in the human spe­ cies, and that they may, bv means of their secretions and excretions and slaughtered carcasses, convey the dis­ ease back to man. Many/instances are recorded where outbre-Ah of what ap­ peared to be typhoid hrre been traced to the eating of meat of animals known to have been diseased /hen killed. One authority relates tba following: A butcher refused to buy a calf, because it was manifestly ill; the family, there­ fore, to whom it belonged killed and ate it themselves, and six of their num­ ber were attacked with typhoid fever. Dr. Crawford tells of another instance of this sort. At Kloten, a place seven miles north of Zurich. on the 30th of June, 1878, a festal board was spread, and 690 persons partook of the viands, of whom 290 fell 'ill with typhoid fever, and 378 others who had eaten at the inn whose landlord h&d furnished the collation, making jn all 668 t persons af­ fected with the disease from the effects of the same feast. There Were 49 oth­ ers affected secondarily, making 717 cases directly and indirectly from the feast. The cause of ^the outbreak was traced directly to a sick calf furnished the innkeeper by a butcher, as it was clearly shown that only those who par­ took of the veal thus furnished were at­ tacked. This veal had been procured of a dealer at Seebach, who had sold the liver of the same animal to a fellow- townsman, who was in like manner at­ tacked with typhoid fe\;er. Tiie brain of the same animal was sent to the par­ sonage at Seebach, and all the family were attacked ,with\ th<$ same disease. The calf was asc^rf^ineci to have been almost dead when receiving the dis­ patching blow from the jbutclier. Not­ withstanding the large number of in­ stances' which appear to support the theory that typhoid i'ever is communi­ cated by animals to man, it is by no means settled that such is possible. In fact, there are grave doubts if the disease caused bv eating meat believed to be infected wep ac;-nally typhoid fe­ ver. A Vine of tint Dea\ In the beautiful cemetery \at Athens stands an old tomb ol! a family once prominent, not only in thij Classic; City, but in other cities and > luoughout the State. In it are laid fit rest the bodies of several ancestors wv;o once played prominent parts in the hi:. td% Athens and the state. Death sii^ht^no family, though for a time he mi»j- pi.ss it by. A few years after the war \kl\\es door of the last cold resting place of ti^e family yawned for awhile and closed again on the increased dead who slept wkhin its dark, cold recesses. For sofei&V years- there were no deaths, and the silence of the tomb was unbroken, save few the visits of loved ones who knelt without T r , ,, " „ , i and offered praver for the dead or ^aid Lafayette cemetery, they were startled | lovi to their virtues. At lit by a number of wild cries • issuing torn | deatlfcame once more. The good old the center of that bunng ground.^The ; grandmother bowed to the will of time; hour was about 9, and, although there ; £nd dear oneH gathered to pav their last persons about, none of; re ts. The solemn procession wonnd ™ first could muster enough cour- itsA slow way to the cemetery. T.te i Vw°ti!n' BO"?e ,? them, j door Gf the vault moved heavily on its frntwoon tliA B°UU(?' m e,* ir hinges as it swung back to receive its between the graves to a vault near the u nf 9,,nl,Vht flll^ center of the ceu.-dtery. The vault top rises only a few inches above the ground, but there are a number of holes piercing the sides, and the investiga­ tors threw themselves prone before this. For a tune they could see nothing. Then one of the watchers discovered dead. A flood of golden sunlight filled the tomb, dispelling the gloom and re­ vealing a strange sight. There, creep­ ing along the walls and over the coffins, was a white .vine. Pure and pearly it stood in bold relief against the dark background and glistened in the sun- the outline of ^ B* what,m°st other piercing cry rent the aik Satis- j ?'ho lt W*3 19 urn\sllLftped *md- fled now that the thing within was a mgaC . There was no milking the re- ghost the men sprang tf their feet and ! ran like mad to the streets. The mys­ tery was not explained until Officer Smith passed that way. Just as he reached the vault in question he noticed the white face of a mau who was lying ojn the floor msidc. Hs promptly broke in the door and found Jas. jj. Clarke, one of the grave-diggers, in a half unconscious condition, leaning against the side of the vault. It was some minutes before he oould talk. Theu he said: : "I came into {he vault yesterday af­ ternoon to do some work. There are urn. But the wouder did aot stop here. Curling further on it formed^ a D., the family initial. Astonishment ceased not here. It was a'triple mystery, and the climax was yet to be reached. The minister offered up the prayer, "Ashes to ashes, dast to dust." Those who were looking at the white vine saw it tremble, then it shook and fell in frag­ ments, scattering over the coffins of the dead.--Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle. THE potato bug is said to be deterior­ ating but it made many a mash in its better drys.--Terre Haute Express. IMlnlte Information A boat tin Mys­ terious JUvlne in the Yellowstone. Animated and exaggerated descrip­ tions of a mysterious opening in the Yellowstone Park known as the valley of death, have occupied considerable space in the papers of the c ountry. George D. McCreary. Vice President of the Market Street National Bank, who has just returned from a visit to the great National Park, paid yesterday: "I can tell you a good deal about the subject which has really not been brought out or published, and my in­ formant is no less a person than Prof. Hague, who himself discovered the Valley of Death, so called. "Our party spent some time camping out there. We had heard considerable about the valley in question and one day we came across Prof. Hague, who is in charge of the national geological sur­ vey of the Yellowstone Park, who, with his surveying party, was encamped at the Yellowstone Lake. We asked him about the mysterious valley of which we had heard so much and his story in substance was as follows: " 'There is a valley or rather a ravine of that kind which is undoubtedly death to animals and under some circum­ stances to man himself,' said the Pro­ fessor. 'I know it and for the best of reasons; I myself discovered it. It was under these circumstances. In ^bm- pany with my corps I was exploring the path and we suddenly came across a deep and dark ravine which we had never before noticed. A little distance away there stood a huge bear, and no matter how easy it may look on paper to tackle one, in reality it requires con­ siderable coolness and strategy. " 'We laid our plans, therefore, and disposed ourselves according to the best-known rules of strategy, discretion being by $6 means omitted, and at length advanced on bniin from all prac­ ticable quarters. To our chagrin, we found on arriving near him that he was dead, and a closer inspection showed that he had been dead two or three weeks, though he was wonderfully well /p7»ser,ved. As there were no signs of any w ounds that could have caused his deat!i, the sight set us thinking and we proceeded to follow it up. We then searched carefully in the ravine, and soon found bones in large numbers; some very large, indicating the presence almost of prehistoric animals, while numbers of bones of ordinary sizes abounded on every side. " 'We came to the conclusion that there must be a poison of some kind in the ravine, as there seemed no other way to account for the animals' death, so wo returned to the camp to procure the means of discovering if such were the fact. " 'Supplying ourselves with litmus paper wo again entered the ravine and followed it up. As we held the litmus paper high or were at certain altitudes no change was noticed, but when lower down or when the paper was placed near the ground it showed at once the effects of poison and by it3 chemical changes indicated conclusively the pres­ ence of carbonate acid gas. " 'As animals in general are low in the body and hold their heads down they undoubtedly feel and Buffer from the effects of the poison where a human being standing erect would not " "Of course there is no vegetation of any kind and it is simply an arid surface. " 'A better name for it would be the "Valley of Bones," for it is full of them, and were it not for the winter sn >ws and the summer storms which wash them away the bones and skeletons in the ravine would be simply innumer­ able.' "Such, in substance," said Mr. Mc­ Creary, "was the Professor's statement to our party, and you can rest assured that none of us thought it would be a wise thing to take his afternoon nap there and give somebody beneath a chance of promotion."--Philadelphia Inquirer. Spanish Women. The Spanish eye, large, humid, ten­ der, grand, languishing, furnished with lashes so long, so curling and so beauti­ ful that the pencil of the artist falls in despair, the black pupil, the white sea, in which the lustrious orb sails--all is indescribable! Spanish eyes are sad. Spanish women, where they are coquet­ tish and laughing, have a sad expres­ sion. Is it Moorish, and does it speak of the harem and the inevitable' heart­ break ? Next to the beauty of hair and eyes comes the beauty of the flashing teeth. These are universally perfect that the student of dentistry should go to Spain, to find out how they manage it. There is very little good eating in Spain. Per­ haps these faultless teeth are not spoiled by oakes and pastry and sweets in child­ hood. But the careless traveler expects to be rewarded when the Spanish wo­ man smiles with a row of pearls, and he is almost over disappointed. Alas! here comes in the one note of disappointment. Just above the teeth is a little mustache, sometimes a very big mustache. Nature, in being so generous of her gift of hair, in a mo­ ment of forgetfulness, added one dash of hpr jbrush too many on some of these jbeau'tiful faces. It is not universal; it is not inevitable, but it is common. Tne Portuguese women accept the mustache and Cultivate it, as young men do, curling the ends. On a very delicate face the little feminine mus­ tache is not always disagreeable, but to oo© who has passed the blossoming hour AliisMieavy, dark, masculine belonging becomes an almost offensive feature, to ifoteign eyes at least. But it is said to be agreeable to native eyes. Next comes the pretty little Anda- lusian foot, which, in the grand dame, is always shod in the most perfect of shoes, with a .silk stocking which defines a very big ankle and adjacent beauties. In the lower classes the foot is, of course, not so well clad; but it is always small and alert. The Spanish woman is born dancing; so she walks like a high-step­ ping horse, spurning the ground, and "Oh, she dances in such away!" At So "ille it is the poetry of motion, as everything is poetry at Seville.--New York Star. • Ihe Roatine of Military Life. The Ui;red States soldier's first duty begins at 5:30 in the morning, at which hour reville sounded by the buglers of all the batteries. At this signal the j men all leave their quarters and form in single file on parade ground. The roll is theu called by the sergeant, who also presents his morning rejxirt to the captain. This report shows the number of men on duty, the sick and the ab­ sent. Application for leaves of absence are handed in with the report, and af­ ter the commander's approval the men are all dismissed, except those who are to do guard duty.. The guard detail is made out the evening before it is read out, and the men who are appointed serve for twenty-four hours, with a re­ lief every two hours. * Tattoo is sounded at 9 o'clock, whioh is a signal for the men to "turn in,* and at 9:15 taps sound, at which time all lights must be extinguished, unless a special order has been issued by the officer of the day. Besides military duty the soldier is subject to extra service. In connection with the barracks there is a good-sized farm, and the soldiers are frequently required to throw aside their guns for hoes and other agricultural implements. They also do all sorts of outdoor work, frequently imposed as a punishment for some offense. A soldier's wardrobe consists of two suits of undress clothing, one dress uni­ form and helmet, collars and cuffs, shoes, stockings, underwear, anjl all other necessary articles of apparel, fur­ nished by the Government, to the amount of $220 for five years. President and Prefect. When Marshal MacMahon was Presi­ dent of the French Republic, he made a number of changes in Certain official places, aad at one time took a tour through the country which, it was said, was to be marked by a removal of a number of prefects, or local governors, and their replacing by others of the President's party. ' He arrived at the principal city of a department the prefect of which, by reason of his politics, was marked for removal; and it happened that the Presi­ dent lodged in a room which was exactly opposite that of the prefect, in the Pre­ fecture, or government house. The President had acquired in h* army days the habit of rising early and brushing his own clothes; and on this occasion he got up at an extremely early hour, opened his window, aud, seeing no signs of life, took his coat and waistcoat and began brushing them « ethe window. The prefect, it happened, had beeij prevented from sleeping by the pros pect of losing his place, and was awake at the time, trying to study out some means of keeping the office. Hearing' the slight noise which the President's toilet-making caused, he peeped out of the winodw, and saw the bead of. the State hard at work with his brush. "I have it!" said the prefect to him self. He got his own clothes together hunted up a brush, put up his windoV suddenly, and began brushing. This attracted the attention of the Governor, who looked over and saw him at work. "Well, well! Is that you, Mr. Pre­ fect ?" he said. "As you see, Mr. President," said tht prefect. "You rise early, Mr. Prefect." "As you see, Mr. President." "Ah! and you have the same trict that I have of brushing your owil clothes, which is very singular. Now in my case, it is an old soldier's habit, Mr. Prefect." "In that respect I am a soldier, Mr. President," was the reply. One tlung led to another, and in » few minutes the prefect was invited ove'i into the President's room, and the two great men were soon chatting amiably together. The story ought to end with the President's finding out the stratagem of the wily prefect and cutting off his offi­ cial head. But, as the Parisians tell the story, the prefect was not removed, and afterward, whenever his name was mentioned as a possible subject for change, the President would shake his head. "Oh, I know him," he would say, "He is all right where he is. He's a fellow who gets up early in the morn­ ing. "--Youth's Companion. Uncle Jim. I was on the porch of the village tav­ ern when a tow-headed boy of about fifteen, came riding up on an old roan mare to spread the news that his Uncle Jim was dead--killed by a falling tree. It appeared that the uncle had many friends and relatives in the village, and it was not long before a score of them gathered about the boy and plied him with questions. He was rather bashful, but he gave a pretty straight account and furnished all particulars. The crowd was still asking questions when a man about sixty years old, lame, bent, and bald-headed, pushed his way in and called out,-- "Everybody stand back! I was jus­ tice of the peace for fourteen years, and I shall take charge of this Barcnmstance myself. Now, my boy, your name is Tom, hain't it?" . "Yes, sir." "Mother used to be Sarah Goodhue?" "Yes, sir." "Now I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, if you lie, I will send you to prison, under the provisions of the law made and pur- vided. Is Jim Thompson dead?" "Yes, sir." "Did a tree fall on him?" "Yesi, sir." gy maple?" "BeOcE" "Dead when you found him?" "Yes, sir." "Be keerful. boy! You are the same as on your oath. Was he stone dead?" "Yes, sir." "Been dead three hours?" "Yes, sir." "Now, then, I want this crowd to pay particular attention to my next ques­ tion. The case may go to the Supreme Court for all we know, and I want every one of you to remember my exact lan­ guage. Now, boy, look me straight in the eye, and answer me without hesita­ tion. Don't you look to the right nor left, and don't imagine I cail't see right through you. Now, sir, did your Uncle Jim look nateral when ye found him, or didn't he? Quick! Don't stop to think up a lie!" "Y-es!" grasped the boy. "All right--that settles it. I am per­ fectly satisfied with the examination, j and the prisoner is discharged on his i own showing. He'd better take this as a great moral warning. Looked mighty bad for him at one time there." Small for His Age. Our" general manager is a big man, when the questions of authority and con­ trol come to hand, and also in the hearts of his employes, but physically, nature rather neglected him, for in statue and weight he is considerably below the average. A few days ago several of us were speaking of his age, and how well he looked'for one who had spent so many years in this line of business, saw-mill- ing. "He is 50 years old," remarked one of the men, "if a minute." " How old ?" asked an 8-year-old boy, who had been listening intently to the conversation. "Fifty," replied the man. "My," replied the boy, as an incredu­ lous look spread over his facg, "he's mighty little for his age." Entirely Helpless to Health. Bie above statement made by Mrs. 8. H. Ford, wile of U«n. Ford, can be vouohed for by nearly the eutire population of Cor- unna. Mich., her honi'; for years. She was for two years a terrible sufferer from rheu­ matism. being confined to her bed most of the time, her (eet and limbs belnyr so badly sw<^llen she could scarcely move. She was induced to try a bott.lo or Hibbard's Rheu­ matic Syrup. It helped hor, and two ad­ ditional bottles entirely cured her. To-day she is a well woman. First ask your druggist; should he not keep it, we will send on receipt of prloe. $1 per Dottle or sis for RHEUMATIC STKOP CO. Jackson, ICielL He 6ot a Loan. The other evening a citizen who stood at the corner of Woodward and Jefferson avenues was asked by a Btranger for a nickel to pay car fare up Michigan avenue. "You look able to walk," was the re- p!y. So I am; but Pm in a great hurry." "It strikes me as pretty cheeky for a tramp to beg money to ride on when his legs are all right." "My dear man, this is an exceptional case. I was up that avenue to-day, and met a citizen who pitied my for­ lorn condition. He didn't have any boodle with him just then, but prom­ ised to give me fifty cents if I would meet him at the corner of Fifteenth street at 9 o'clock. It is now 8:30. I can't make it on foot. I t I don't get a nickel I'm gone up for that half. Please look at the case with a business eye and favor mc with the loan." He was favored, and he got on the front end of a car, so as to get there seventeen feet ahead of the rear plat­ form.--Detroit Free Fress. PLATO, about 390 B. C., invented the study of conic sections, and through these and the use of the analytic method of demonstration he made great advances in the science. ABE any of the new-fangled compounds as good as the old-fashioned soap? D'»b- bins' Electric Soap has b«en sold i vory day for 24 jtears, and is now just as good as ever. Ask your grocer for it and take no other. THE d^og that makes the most noise never biteg. Sorry we can't say so much for the mosquito. This may cot lie seasonable, but it is nevertheless true.-- Yonkers Statesman. Wa recommend "Tansill's Punch" Cigar. The Spartan Virtue of Fortitude Mast be possessed in no ordinary degree by those who bear the pangs of rheumatism with­ out complaint. We have never heard of such an individual. But why not, ere the lifelong mar­ tyrdom begins, extinguish the germ of this atrocious malady with Hostotter'a Stomach Bit- ters, the efficacy of which as a preventive of the disease, as well as a means of relieving It, Is well established and amply, attested, during the last thirty-flve years, over professional sig­ natures ? It expurgates from the blood those aorld principles which beget the pain and in­ flammation characteristic of this complaint, which, it should bo recollected, is always liable to terminate life suddenly when it at­ tacks a vital van. The Bittern also expels the virus of malaria from the system, remedies dvspepeia, kidney complaint, constipation and biliousnosa, quiets tlio nerves, and invigorates the whole physical organism. What It Was Needed For. During the excitement in politics under old John Adams' administration, occasioned by the "direct tax," a sim­ ple-minded Federalist called upon a noted politician of Hallow ell, saying;. "Squire, has not our party made a mistake about this tax?" "Oh, no," was the reply; "we must have money to build up a navy to pro­ tect our commerce, and we need an army to prevent any more whisky in­ surrection." The man went home and told his neighbors: "The tax is all right; we need it to promote knavery and prevent the res­ urrection!^ « No Cure No Pay. It is a pretty severe test of any doetor's skill when the payment of his fee is made conditional upon his curing his putient. Yet a:tor having, for many years, observed the thousands of marvelous cures effected la liver, blood, and lun£ diseases, by Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical I>isoovery, its manufacturers feel warranted in selling it, as thev aro now doing, through alt drug­ gists. the world over, under a certificate of positive guarantee that it will either bone (It or cure in every case of disease for which they recommend it, if taken in time and given a fair trial, or money paid for it will bo promptly refunded. Torpid liver, or "biliousness,"impure blood, skin eruptions, scrofulous sores and Bwollinps, consump­ tion (which is scrofula of tho lungs), all yield to this wonderful medicine. It is both tonio or strength-restoring, and alterative or blood-cleansing. CHRONIC Nasul Catarrh positively cured by Dr. Sage's Remedy. 50 cjnts, by drug­ gists. As Usual.. "Gimme th' quarter, and you hold them papers while I get change," said 6 newsboy to a gentleman who wanted to buy a daily paper. "Course I'll come back," he said, as the gentleman dubiously took the bundle of papers which the urchin handed him, adding, "Ain't you got my stock in trade V" The gentleman stood on the curb for five minutes holding the papers and waiting for his change. The boy never returned. The papers were worth just 8 cents; the quarter was worth 25. Food for Consumptives. Scott's Emulsion of Cod Livor Oil. with Hypophospl lites, is a most marvelous food and medicine. It heals the irritation of tho throat and lungs, and gives flesh and Strength quicker than any other remedy known. It is very palatable, having none of the disagreeable taste of the crude oiL HIPPARCHCS, in the second century before Christ, and Ptolemy, in the sec­ ond century after Christ, applied mathematics to astronomv. Hibbard's Rheumatic and LiTer Pills. These rills are scientifically compounded, uniform in action. No griping pain so com­ monly following the use of pills. They aro adapted to both adults and children with perfect safety. We guarantee they have no equal in the cure of Sick Headache, Con­ stipation. Dyt-pepsia. Biliousness; and, as an appetizer, they excel any other prepara­ tion. T CASES are frequently lost in court by de fanlt--of the lawyer.--New Orleans Picayune. A Beautiful Portfolio of Paintiup In Water Colors. The manufiieturprs of the well-known Scott's Emulsion of Cod Liver Oil are issu­ ing the most beautiful portfolio of eisrht artistic studies (birds and flowers) that has ever come under our notice. This work is worth at least but Messrs. Scott & Bowne. with their usual enterprise, have made arrangements whereby they can sup­ ply a copy by mail to .my one who will write to them, enclosing 25 cents in stamps or postofflee order. This is a chance seldom offered. and all lovers of art should avail thennelvi-s of it. Mention this paper, and address Sc^tt & Bowne. 1312 and 131 South Fifth avenue. New York. it THE hull of a ship is only One part of ONE would thiuk counterfeiters would be peculiarly susceptible tonew-money-ia. --Pittsburg Chronicle- Telegraph'. "THE face is not to him who doth the swift­ est run. Nor the battle to the man who shoots with the longest yun." "All the samee" a long gun does count, and "lie tallest pole gets tho persimmons." If you are not satisfied with your equip­ ment for the race for financial success, or position in the battle of life, take our advice and write to B. F. Johnson & Co., Rich­ mond. Va.. and our word for it they will show you how to get a fresh start, with the b6st possible chance of winning soma of the big prizes. IF matches are made in heaven, we don't see where in thunder they get their amell. A Beautiful Picture Fr#«, For a 2-ccnt stamp (to pay postage and wrapping) we will mail a panel photo­ gravure of our popular picture, "Kissing at Seven. Seventeen, and Seventy." Adilrcss the makers of the ereat anti-bila remedy, "Bile Beans," J. F. Smith & Co,, St. Louts. Missouri. SWILL things in hats--Heads after a night's "relaxation." Sick Headache .DrafW.' distTeisiii* affection.generally uisiag from stomach troubles, biliousness, and dyepepsia. and we frequently find pen-one of bcth sexes subject to periodic headaches for which they can ascribe ao direct cause. But the headache is a snrs indication that there is something wrong somewhere, and whatever the cause, Hood's Sarsararill* is a rolia­ ble remedy for headache, arid for all troubles which •eem to require a corrective and regulator. It cures dyspepsia, biliousness, malaria, tones the stomach, creates an appetite, and gives strength to the nerves. Hood's Sarsaparilla Sold by ali druggists. ; six for ^trepued onjy by C. I. HOOD A CO., Apothecaries, Lowell, Mass. IOO Doses One Dollar CREAM BALM CATARRH Cleanses the Nasal Passages, Allays Pais and Inflamma­ tion, Heals the Soret, Restores the Senses of Taste and Smell. TRY m CURE. R _ A PM-belf is applied into e:toh nostril and is agreeable. Price 50 eta. at ; by nail, registered. SB eta. ELi fftVo IB.hits. Mi W*rreu »u, Mew ioi». Wmit«tl to [.earn Telegraphy. Situationsfurni$hod. Circulars .ENIISE HKOS., Janesvillo. Wis. MKNTION l itis WIHIM TO .vitaimmt. to #8 m day. Samples worth $2.15, FTtEBj linepnntunaertbs horse's feet. Write Brewa- _ tor S.'fVtv Keln-Holder Co., Holly. Mich." NTION THIS PAl'KK WKSN utmxi re wTimnti. AH unitn m*'l* by oar AgenUu FIN RUUH THE DR. PKKKUTS MKDICAI, CO., Riclunonil, Va. MRPIP nrilf nv Will cure Blood Toison where mftc'u Ktmm n crcury fails. Owu. d and for Bale only l>y t vok Jttometiy Co.. Omaha, Neb. nrlte. MKM'iON THIS PATER wnx warn if • fo AMiimin. YQUSfO MEN Situatio free. Address VAIVKNUNE MKNTl' $5 MENTl 525 Habit. Th* only certain aud easy cure. Dr. J. L. _ stepson*. IiPbunon. Ohio. MENTION THIS PAPLR WMB.I To aDTBKTMBJUh. OPIUM A &HT KJ AA A CAK BE CURED. I EH IVI M A trial boltlo Kent Free to r.nyoiic stHicted. Dk. TA1T ilitiK, Itoi'hester, N. V. H AUC CTIinV Bookkeeping .BusinessForms, UttiE w I MO I > Penmanship, Arithmetic .Short- hand, rir.. thoroughly tmmht by nuiil. Circulars five. BRYANT'S BVSINESSCOIXEOK.Buffalo,N.*. %TION THIS FAPKK win WKiriita TV *ovB«risKiw, KIDBEB'gPASTILlI&SSfSi: •I III••!•••• 11 !• IMRNON THIS PATLH ;l>r4-lcitown, MUM. CATON'SKOTK'S Wharmless, Bs saail. ireulw*free. I>K. LAlOft, BecWfe A Quick Stive Restorer «f Leiritloiate tfpeeifle flfct ( 79 HIGHLAND PARK, ILL., NORTHWESTERN MILITARY ACADEMY, Prepares for College, the Government Academies, and Business. Seud for Catalogue. BASE BALL ai'P'i'tt'ion eiulosit;« one --OK TH»-- CHA0WICK*S MANUAL. 7 In. x 5 In. ~0 ptwres. Illumimiteit Cover, . plication em losit;« < (Sc.) Ktumii, by addressing THEODORE HOLLAND, P. 0. Box 120. Philada., Pa. HALF RATES --TO THE Farming Regions WEST, SOUTHWEST, NORTHWEST. Forparticulars call on jour Tickft Ajrcnt or address I*. S. ZUUT1S, Uan'l ̂ aas. Aft,, C. ii. A Q. K. IL, Chioajro. A S T H M A . Popham's Asthma Specific. lvolil't ill TKN MtM'TKS. Wm, (ti.Ei!HoitN, Gardner. ;il.. w-iites: "I have not had 10 sit up an hour for three years. I hope the man that ii'veutt'd the SPECIFIC may have, everlasting lite and (.tod's blessing while he 11 ve s." Sol d by al I driigii ists. M ;>er inn by mail.postpaid. Trial puci-agefree. Address POPHAM. i'HlLADELl'HIA, PA. m FREE TRADE PRICES! I'liOTH TION! NO StOMfPOMKSI S45,MEs!S$15 • ar<> now HeUnv: our WEST- ISHUwwcwj) mm nmm m- CKIKfc--sj.me jus out --complete with all ;.t?achment» and war­ ranted for 5 years lor only S15. J-end for circular and see full de­ scription of this and other stvlea to M. A. SCl'UEN & CO.. ',G2 Went Lake St.. Chicago, III. ,ll,vriON THIS PAPER WASRO® » 'S RELIEF. D A D W A Y n lEAir RE TIE GREAT CONQUEROR OF PAIN, Applied externally, instantly relevss .Sprains, Bruises, Backache, Fain in the Chest or 8i(les, Headache, Toothache, or any other external pain, CONGESTIONS, INFLAMMATIONS. Rheumatism. Neural­ gia, Lumbago, Sciatica, 1'ains in the Small of the Back, etc. CURES ALL SUMMER COMPLAINTS, Cramps, Spa«mn, Sour Stomach, Nausea, Vomiting, H«artbui'ii, DlAliHHlEA, Colic, Cholera Morbus. Fainting Spells, inter­ nally, half to a teaspoonful iu half a tum­ bler of water. 00c, a bottle. All Druggist*. SyACOBSOq, For Swellings, Bniisss, Cuts aadWooa&L * > IHiwj Sights J Crirrtf and Cured r AT DRUGGISTS AND PPAIXM. THE CHARLES A. V0GELER CO.. BattiirnmJ .. Ss; • 4'6' I PisCs Remedy for Catarrh la the Best, Easiest to DM, and Cheapest C A T A R R H Rv-:-' fi • Sold by drnggists or sent by mall. 50c. E. T. Hazeltlne, Warren, Eta. TfiCirm78 per month anT^SSpSm __ V*ID ANY scstvet IORR or WORAAA to Mil «ctr gi WIITFRV tampla aad Hit at bom. Hairy ] promptly and expwees ia uhruM. Mil* UK lid Mail* «m« FSKR. IfvMMJM WH*T I*Y. STANDARD SQVY a>I ibv »««*»My. Standard •) _ MENTION THIS PArLM When you dire to say tikafr Jones of BiBghsraton. Tltr^ ' ham ton, N. »iut>»B't s«UlfctF very FIVE-TOM . v WlliSCWS Beam Box. Tare Kpai".torag Fxee price list, every Etze.JHsSw"'.. lens* he pay* the freigbi.%;; ;J|1 ii . I will s>>n(l it on ten days' trial. It it can not pi 3 tons more of hayinono day (lOhrs.) than i other portable two-horse press, no sale, and 11 refund freight. For conditions, circulars, etc-T A t'UL'V/ VI- n« l..h, I dvess J. A. SPKNCKK, Dnijfht, in. A NEW INVENTION 'AIMER'S MAGNETIC INHALEI Patented JTun« IS, 1881 Price, One Dollar, Magnetism and Menthol as £k Remedial and Curative Agent. ' ? - ' i '•Vs.. '* ' *> | From time to time many Invention! and devieefef have bean placed upon the market claiming to corifc- catarrh, neuralgia, bronchitis, etc. many of whiott. are ^aid to contain electric or magnetic enrativp powers. Dr. Palmer is a gentleman who has devoted a Uffc ; of study to the butvjr-et of catarrh and diseases of Ua1 head, throat, and lung*, snd some time ok- -; comm.(Seed a series ot experiments with a view %e determining whether any combination Could lMk formed which would kill the parasito ami act ae % liealiug power at the same time, and at kngtta ceeded l n determining I hat menthol, when combiMC with magnetism, would do so. but how to amuNMfc tlie^e seemingly opposite agents so as to n>n4ar their USP convenient and effectual was a questional eoine difficulty. At length he succeeded in i 11 iifllilwgr within a vulcanite tube three inches long and ilmlM Oiree-unarters of an inch in diameter a perfect l net-c buttery in the form of a coil of steel wire, the interior ot this battery is stored a ftnet imsirrted menthol. The ends of the tube are < by nickel caps, which, when removed, admit' tree inhalation of the electro mentholisted air. menthol acts as n gennacide, while the magnate electric force smuulatinif the weakened nerve* oC tli" diseased parts mt-> heaittijr ncuuu foiuis • wu9> del-nil healing power, thereby successfully stopping eny further d"preilntions. The fumes when inhaled are refreshing end cooh tr.g. and fir the immediate relief and speedy cnre«C catitrih, cold in the head, hay fever, headache, talgia, i-atarrhal deafness, etc.. it is uD»aualed. y. It cures headache in live minntes. Sore throakm one of the diseases immediately affected bv the 1%» baler. One purchaser thus speaks of the Inaaler:, NKW DIOOINS. Wis.. Auuui-t 'J. ISSa.--E. A. (knt•%. Chitaon, ill.: X>F*« SIR--Inclosed you will find ONE d'-llar i ft .00) to pay for Inhaler you sent me on JatP 8. 1 do not know whether it will cure me of Ml nesr or n<>t, but 1 do thuik it prevents tine from lue> ing the heudacue. I have only li:.d the headeelM once since I received it; have been very troubled with headache for two or th Wishing you success, and thankusg ro kindness, I am, with respect, yours truly. PHILIP A. Beware of imitation, as there perso's ergRged in the manufacture of |i ill ha erthat strongly resembles the genuin Full directions, te tlmoniuls, etc., sent instrument. If vMi ure afflicted with Catarrh, send Sl.OO f'et H Magnetic Inhaler, which is certain to aL nstant and a permanent cure. Address A. GAVISK, Western A^ent, 271 Franklin rii!m;fn, III. % ^ - ' viA Va ON TRIAL FOR QADWAY'S » PILLS, An excellent and mild Cathartic. Purely Vegetable. The Safest and best Medicine in the world for the Cure of all Disorder* of the LIVER, STOMACH OR BOWELS. Taken according to directions they will restore health and renew vitality. Price 25 cts. a BDX. bold by all Brag gists. JOSEPH H. HUNTER, 8§: The only Br«t-cUsa Ffcmlly Story lathe Westis THE CHICAGO The proprietors of this old end well-known pvetmt-, being desirous of introducing it to as many ne» readers as possible before the new yetr. offer to inA it every week from October 1,1899, to January 1, td any person who will send . t H In postage stamps, currency, or postal note befovp' Beptember 30. Each number contains from three live continued stories, several complete stories. an4 much other interesting reading which cannot be found in any similar publication. Try it for three months. It is worth three times the price. Write name, town, connty, and State plainly, end eddiM^ letters to j THE CHICAGO LEDGER, CHICAGO, ILL*. I prescribe end folly l HrdciH.jr by a* ido&lCa. dorse Big O as the onl; " the < this diseaae. peel tie for the certain cur G. H. INGKAHAM, M. IJw,; Amsterdam, .NL We have sold Big <3 foip- many years, arid it ha®, given the best of satie^- faction. I). It. DYCHE * CO.. Chicago, U1&. $1.00. Sold by DruggiaHfc, No. 39--»®~ WHEN WRITING TO AI>VERTISES% l! pteaae »ay you eaw the actvertUemea* In tins paper. 'y ATTORNEY. WASHINGTON D. C-. WI I, UKT YOlfl PENSION frtthoot DEJLA.1 '4< J ;?• V!"' SHORT-HAN© INSTITUTE and INSTITUTION and the XjJVIFIOJE 6MUSH TRA1MSNC SCKOOL. staa *T Full lar tlon. Catalog-no, terms, etc., sent t'iiKE. AJaress IS, M. UKYIN'1' Jb soTi, I'royrinos-s- Chicane*] We retsmsaead tbit collese te ear readers* Jfiealioa thL: paser wfcea yea ertw» The man who lias invested ft TU three to ilve dollars in a Rubber Coat, aad at his first half hour * experience in a storm flnils to his lorrow that it is hardly a better protection than a mos­ quito netting, not only feels chagrined St beinp so badly taken in, but also fUels if he does not look exaetlyjlke Ask torthe " K1^I111HAN1> " SUCKIE 4k>es not have the FISH BRAVD, sendfrrdeoeriptivecatalogue^ A. J^TowEH.jM^lmuions St.. Boston. A WET HEN We oiler the man who wants *ervuae (not style) a garment that will ke^ him lirT in the hardest storm. It to called TOWEk'S FISH BRAND " SLICKEK," a name familiar to eveiy Cow-boy aii over the land. With the the only perfect Wind and Waterpr Coat is " l ower * Fi>h Brand SUckeif a;i I take no other. If vi ur *torekeep mm (2^SVMo/I *** •. *5*