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TO TOM M »>ORB» • yon, Tom Wofflfa, for when I am g*y •ro you; iind Wheu sorrow or ewe p« •jre«i#t " " me with promise and pt'overli by day, T melo.iifiR lull 1110 at nightfall to reat. Ki y poor heart, loved as othera loved Rw'i my fce for me TTOWIB my own tongue could mpo»ik, - clotlKsl the thoughts, which, how „ j.u the endeavor • >-Were roannured alone by the tears on my '.y--' cheek. r sweat, then, to learn (Ah, how tweetly v^JtifctoW it!p • vhix "heart which loved truly would never _^r _»MKWt." IMi hope--to mv lone heart again, I enfold * lt-t^ And 'twas true. I loved truly; I truly love • ,*il yet; flntt her love, dear Tom (Ah, bow fondly 'twas \ Cherished It iSS"? no* thfi love that you wot of. The rose CtaMC is withered and gone; leaf and petal have ifaw^E^nela'the love that "loves on to the <5lose-" Himoe'er heavy hearted, despondent, and •» wearv, Vhti chorda from your harp pierce the Stygian • It gloom vffWabeacon, to lighten a pathway full dreary ' _ ytifti, day npon tl«y leadslint nearer the tomb. W*nr faithfulness proving, again you draw near " mp tour ifrendship as stanch, Tom, come woe as # COUld W6fil gently you whisper, to oomfort and Cheer me, $3»t "earth hath no sorrows which Heav'n oannot heal,* • V v.. itfow York Clipper, ' - * " "'Timothy, tliat. ere yaller hen's a set­ ting again," said Mrs. Hayes to her son, flee morning at breakfast. "Well, let her set," remarked Timo- tny, helping himself to a huge piece of cheese. "I reckon I can stand • mna long as she can." "I do wish you'd try to be a little •kore equinomical of cheese, Timothy," mid his mother. "I've cat the last of *ny every-other-day lot, and it's only -tike first of May. And now, as soon as jrou've done eating, I want you to go 4nt and break up that hen. She's a flatting on an old axe and two bricks •BOW." "Hope shell hatch 'em," returned TSmotliy. "M siie <roas sot now, she'd hatch the Jkmrth week in May. It's a bad sign-- aomethiug allers happens after it. Stop <giggUng, HeienMaria; by the time you ?get to be as old as your ma, you'll see Jarther than you do now. There was Jenkins' folks, their gray top-not hatched the last week in May, and Miss Jenkins she had the conjunction of the lutigs, and would have died if they hadn't killed a lamb and wrapped her in the hide while it was warm. That aras all that saved her life." "Wiih such a startling proof of the tenth of the omen before him, Timothv= finished his breakfast in haste, and de­ parted for tlie barn, from which he •oon returned, bearing the squalling Iriddy by the legs. ""What; shall I do with her, mother?" •iked Khi< dutiful boy. "She'll get again, and she's as cross as bedlam; kite's skinned my hands, and would be 4fae death of me if she could get loose." "I've lieem it said that it was a good •AM to throw 'em up in the air," said Mka. Hayes. "Aunt Peggy broke one setting only three times trying, flpose'n you try it." "Up she goes! Heads or tails?" cried Tim, giving the feathered volcano a toss dkyward. "Lordj massy!" exclaimed Mrs. Hayes "she's doming down into that pan of bread that I sot out on the great rock to rise. There--I knowed it! Tim, it's alnange that you can't do anything with- dOBfc over doing it!" ""Down with the traitor, up with the esfaur," sung Tim, elevating biddy again **rith some less than a pint of batter i&HtyBiqg to her feet. . -SOood ih-' "There f she exclaimed, "now I've ! found out what - has puzzied me. nigh j. about to death for over a week! I've ' found out where my yaller pullet has gone to. Miss Hayes, I allers knowed you was a wicked, desateful woman, but I didn't think you'd steal!" "Steal? me steal? who are you talk­ ing to, Mrs. Weaver?" said Mrs. Hayes, on her dignity. "I'm talking to you, madam--that's who I'm talking to] You're stole my hen that I got over to Uncle Gile's, and paid for it in sassenges. She's a real Dorking. Give her right here or Til use force)" "She's my hen," said 'Mrs. Hayes, and you tech her if you dare 1" "I'll show you what I dare," said Mrs. Weaver, growing purple, and seizing the ill-starred fowl by the tail, she gave a wrench, and the tail came out in her hand. The sudden cessation of residence up­ set Mrs. Weaver's balance, and she fell backward into the brook, spattering the mud and the astonished pollywogs in every direction. She was a spry woman, and was soon on her feet again, ready to renew the assault. " Give me my hen!" she oried, thrust­ ing her fist into Mrs. Hayes' face, "you old hag and hypocrite, you!" and she made a second dive at the bird. The hen now thought it proper to show her colors, and uttering an un­ earthly yell, she flew out of her covert square into the face of Mrs. Weaver, which she raked down with her toe- CIIINESE ECONOMY. gracious me! wusa and wuss!" cried Mrs. Hayes, and Tim agreed with lier; for the hen had come down on the well-polished tile of Squire Bennet, who happened to be passing and the digni­ fied old gentleman was the father of Cfynthia Bennett, the vonng lady with whom Tim was seriously enamored. The squire looked daggers, brushed <the dough off with his handkerchief, jutd strode on in solemn silence. _ "Poultry seems to be falling," re­ marked the hired man, as he was pass­ ing with a basket of potatoes. ^Yes, but it's going up again," said Tim, spitefully seizing the clucking ttped, and tossing her at random into {fee air. Biddy thought it about time to manifest her individuality, and with m loud scream she darted against the Erlor window--broke through-- oeked down the canary's cage, and leaded plump in the silken lap of Mrs. Gray, who was boarding at the farm­ house. , Mrs. Gray screamed with horror, and Smarting up, dislodged biddy, who flew it her reflection in the looking-glass With an angry hiss. The glass was •battered, and down came the hen, as­ tonished beyond measure, against a of flowers, which upset, and in felling knocked over the standish, and deluged with ink and water a pair of Arab colored velvet slippers, which .Helen Maria was embroidering for her . .lover, Mr. James Henshaw. 7 w; Helen entered the room just as the ipischiefhad been done, and viewing the nails until it resembled the page of a ledger, crossed and reorossed with red ink. Mrs. Hayes caught a stick of brush­ wood from the fence--Mrs. Weaver did the same, and a regular duel would have probably been fought, if the banks of the river had not suddenly given away, and precipitated both the indignant women into the water. They scrambled out on the opposite sides, and the hen sat perched in an ap­ ple tree and cackled in triumph. The ladies shook themselves and by mutual consent went home. They have not spoken together since. The hen disappeared and was not seen until three weeks afterwards, when she made her appearance with eleven nice yellow chickens. She had found some other fowl's nest and sat in spite of fate. But althongh not "broke up" herself, she broke up two matches--for Cynthia Bennet "was not at home" the next time Timothy called, and Mr. Hen­ shaw never forgave Helen for having a bad temper. Why Should He! Courtship requires so much courage and assurance it is really a wonder it is so frequent. London Tit Bits thus philosophizes on the subject: How any young lellow can have the face to walk into yopr family, and de­ liberately ask for one of your daughters, passes me. That it is done every day does not lessen my astonishment at the sublime impudence of the thing. There you have been, sixteen, or seventeen, or eighteen years of her life, combing her hair and washing her face for--him! It is lucky the thought never strikes you while you are doing it that this is to be the end of it all. What if you were married yourself? That is no reason why ehe should be bewitched away into a separate establishment just as you begin to lean upon her, and be proud ot her; or at least, it stands to reason that after you have nursed her through the measles, and chicken-pox, and scarlet fever, and whooping-coqgh, and had her properly baptized and vao- cinated, this young man might give you a short breathing spell before she goes. He seems to be of a different opinign; he not only insists upon taking her, out upon taking her immediately, if not sooner. He talks well about it--very well; you have no objection to him, not the least in the world, except that, when the world is full of girls, why couldn't he have fixed his eve on the daughter of somebody else? There are some parents who are glad to get rid of their daughters. Blue eyes are as plentiful as black­ berries ; why need it be this particular pair ? Isn't she happy enough as she is ? Doesn't she have ,jneat and bread and clothes enough, to say nothing oi love ? What is the use of leaving a certainty for an uncertainty, when that certainty is a mother, and she can never have but one? You put all these questions to her, and she has the sauciness to ask, i! that is the way you reasoned when her father came f«r you. You disdain to answer, of course; it is a mean dodging of the question. But she gets round you for all that, and so does he, too, though you try yaur best not to like him; and wdth a u Well, if I must, I must," you order her wedding-clothes, muttering to yourself the while, "Dear, dear, what will that child do at the head of a house; how will she ever know what to do, in this, that, or the other emergency--she who is calling on 'mother' fitty times a day--to settle every trifling question? What folly for her to set jup house for herself." ' ' How many mothers have had these Ohe txtr«m« Degree of Frugality JPractlood by the Olentiala, The Chinese are pre-eminently eco­ nomical, says the North China Herald, whether it l>e in limiting the number of wants, in preventing waste, or in ad­ justing forces in such a manner as to make a little represent a great deal. The universal diet consists of rice, beans, millet, garden vegetables and fish and a little meat on high festivals. Wholesome food in abundanoe may be supplied at less than a penny a day for each adult,' and even in famine times thousands of persons have been kept alive for months on about a half penny a day each. This implies the existence of a high degree of culinary skill in the Chi­ nese. Their mode of preparing food are thorough and various. There is no waste: everything is made to do as much duty as possible. What is left is the veriest trifle. The physical condi­ tion of the Chinese dog or cat, which has to live on the leavings of the family shows this: they are clearly kept on starvation allowances. The Chinese are.not extremely fas­ tidious in regard to food, all is fish that comes to their net, and most things come there sooner or later. In the north, the horse, the mule, the donkey are in uni­ versal use, and in some districts the camel also does duty. It must blunder- stood that the practice is to eat all of these animals as soon as they expire, whether the cause of death be accident, old age or disease. This is done as a matter of course, and the faet that an animal had died of an epidemic malady does not alter its ultimate destination. Certain disturbances of the human or­ ganization, due to eating diseased meat, are well recognized among the people; but it is considered better to eat the meat, the cheapness of which is certain, and run the risk of the consequences, which are not quite certain, than to buy dear meat even with the assurance of no evjl results. Indeed the meat of animals which have died of ordinary ailments is rather dearer than that of those which have died in an epidemic such as pleuro-pneumonia. Another example of careful, calcu­ lating economy is the construction of the cooking-pots and boilers, the bot­ toms of which are as thin as possible, that the contents may boil all the sooner, for fuel is scarce and dear, and consists of nothing but the stalks and roots of the crops, which make a rapid blaze and disappear. The business of gathering fuel is committed to children, for one who'can do nothing else can at least pick up straws and leaves and weeds. In autumn and winter a vast army of fuel-gatherers spread over the land. Boys ascend trees and beat them with clubs to shake off the leaves; the very straws get no time to show which way the wind blows before they are an­ nexed by some enterprising collector. Similarly professional manure collec­ tors swarm over all the roads of the country, Chinese women carry this minute economy into their dress; noth­ ing comes amiss to them; if it is not used in one place it is in another, where it appears a thing of beauty. Foreign residents who give their cast-off clothes away to Chinese, may be assured that the career of usfulness of these gar­ ments is at least about to commence. Chinese wheelbarrows squeak for the want of a few drops of oil; but to peo­ ple who have no nerves the squeak is cheaper than the oil. Similarly, dirt is cheaper than hot water, and so as a rule the people do not wash: the motto, "Cheaper than dirt," which the soap- dealer puts into his windows, could not be made intelligible to the Chinese. To them the average foreigners are mere soapwasters. Scarcely any tool can be got ready-made: it is so much cheaper to buy the parts and put them together for yourself, and as almost everybody takes this view ready-made tools are not to be got. Two rooms are dimly lighted with a single lamp, deftly placed in a hole in the dividing wall. Chinese, in fact, seem to be capable of doing almost anything by means of almost nothing. They will give yon an iron foundry on a minute scale of completeness in a back yard, and will make in ari hour a cook­ ing range of strong and perfect draft out of a pile of mud bricks, lasting in­ definitely, operating perfectly, and cost­ ing nothing. The old woman who in her last moments hobbled as near as possible to the family graveyard in or­ der to die so as to avoid the expense of coffin bearers for so long a distance was a characteristic Chinese. sPrivt liipa derai ' cuin, she at once laid it to her brother forboding thoughts over a daughter's Timothy. She heard his Btep behind iter, and seizing the unfortunate hen, dhe turned quickly and flung her full In his face. There was a smothered oath,1 and the lhen came back again with the fdrce of a twelve-pound shot. Helen was mad. Her eyes were y put out with feathers, dust and h, and .she went at Timothy with true feminine zeal. "h She broke his watch-guard into a t;' 's -flozen pieces, crushed his dicky, and ~ fbegan to pull his whiskers out by the foots, when she suddenly remembered ' that Timothy had no whiskers to pull by the roots. And when she came to look closer, ebe found that the man she had nearly '"•^^(Wmihilated was not Timothy, but James •y.vt JHensltaw. §* Poor Helen burst into tears and fled 4o her chamber, the usual refuge of heroines; aud James, after washing the wl blood from his face at the kitchen sink, • Went home, sternly resolved never to i-'V • anarry a woman with such a temper as If'-;-' Helen Haye*. •• ' The hen, meanwhile, who is ottr hero Sv' ; returned to the barn and estab- 4!' lished herself on the ruins of her nest, •oallenly, determined to sit if the ffi'j,'.heavens fell. • Mrs. Hayes soon discovered her, and - fall of wrath, tore her from the nest; ;. *nd having heard that dipping in water rt-»?, ^ would cure "broodliuess," she set forth •for the brook with the fowl in her :<*FHE011. i Mr*. Weaver, ah old lady of very Mgpiarrelsonie temperment, who resided -near, and who was at swords' points ^ •- with Mrs. Hayes, was just coming to the ftvook after a paii of water, an! spied ithe ye low head of the bird peeping out (trod Mjra. Hftjap' apron, wedding-clothes; and yet that daughter has met life and its unexpected reverses with a heroism and courage undaunted. ' * In the Twentieth Century. In the home, the cooking stove and kitchen maid are no more. Clothes making, soap making, starch making, laundry work, coffee browning, yeast making, butter making--all are gone. Send after them--or rather say that organized industry is already taking along with these--the remaining work of cooking and cleaniug. This state of things is coming as sure as fate, and when it comes the deliverance will be so great that generations yet unborn shall rise up to bless the workings of this beneficent law. The city of the future will not build houses in squares, giving to every house an individual kitchen and prison-like back yard. It will rather build them all around an open square, and the part now disfigured with the kitchen will be given over for a household sitting room or nursery, open- ing iiito a great, green space, where ehilaren shall play in safety and through which the free air of heaven shall blow into the houses surrounding it. In every square will be fwtind a scientific­ ally constructed, building containing a a laundry and a great kitchen, supplied with every modern appliance for skilled and scientific cookery, and also for send­ ing into every dining room any desired Quantity or variety of food. The indi­ viduality of the home and the home table will be preserved, and the kitchen smells and waste and "hired girl" will all be banished. ONE would suppoee naturally lhat a boiler has to be steam. But, in Qp&lgd. Gen. Sheridan's Temper* Gen. Sheridan, in his later days, was rather popery and oftentimes it re­ quired considerable diplomacy to deal with him. When in his moods his lan­ guage was of a sulphurous nature. The "boys" around the office were in the habit of discovering, if possible, in ad­ vance the temperature of the general!s rivate office before doing business with unless the exigencies of the case manded it. One day a certain well- known correspondent chanced to be in the office when Sheridan was delivering in his brezzy way a criticism on a chromo which some proud publisher had sent him representing the general riding down the line after the disaster at Cedar Creek, with a regimental flag in his right hand and followed by enormous staff. "Now just look," said Sheridan, "and see how blank ridiculous that man has made me appear. Here I am reported as riding down the line with a flag in my hand and a whole regiment of cav­ alry as my escort. Why, blank, blank, blank, I am made to appear like a blank fool. Now the truth is I rode down the line with 'Tony' Forsyth, that was all there was to it. No flag, no escort ex­ cept Forsyth." The next day a verbatim account of Sheridan's conversation, adjectives and all, appeared in print, He; was furious, "I wouldn't have cared so much about it except that makes me swear so. People will think I am in the habit of swearing. Why. blank, tyuik, blank you know that isn't sol"--New York Tribune. ipoee na hot before it can raise fact, it has to be A Royal Gift. It is said that when an Indian poten tate wished to ruin a subject, he pre sented to him an elephant and required him to keep it in royal style. An ele­ phant is indeed a royal gift, but an or­ dinary man may be excused from a de­ sire to possess one. Mr. Winston, our former minister to Persia, when he ar­ rived at Teheran, was-'haet outside the city by the Shah's chamberlain, who, in^the name of the Shah, presented him with four elephants. Mr. Winston, who had never seen an elephant outside of a menagerie, was horrified at the situa­ tion, but knew better than to refuse the offer. He made arrangements for Bta- bling the great animals, and contem­ plated the prospect with dismay. On the second day, after he had been pre peeted from him. "Certainly," said Mr. Winston* "I have only been waiting to secure one worthy of so great a ruler." That afternoon he purchased an elephant for $100, and proceeded in state to the pal­ ace with five elephants. "Here," said he, "is a present for the Shah." The chamberlain seemed to regard the ani­ mals with suspicion, but Oriental polite­ ness prevented any questioning, and our minister was relieved of a .great burden. . Chilling Receptions, j The public speaker who is sure of a cordial reception from his audiencer may consider half the battle won, but he who is either received with coolness, or compelled to bear ruthless comment on his intentions,! mav be excused fur stage fright. A young man who had returned to his native town, after an absence of years, as the advocate of certain theories which tfie village fathers pro­ nounced "shaller and sinful," was some­ what taken aback by the speech of a worthy deacon, who had volunteered to introduce him to the audienoa before whom he proposed lecturing. "This is little Johnnie Wyatt," said the deacon, rising. "JTou all knew him when he wa'n't kneehigh to a quart bottle. He's come down here to tell us old folks Row to live--and when he's finished what he's got to say, we'll take advantage of havin' met together to talk over that matter o' the new town pump." Such ruthless underestimate of his mission qtjiite unnerved the young man, and he hurried ' through his lecture, feeling, at the end, as if he knew no more about it than hi3 hearers, and that only the prospective town pump was worthy to be an on objeot of uni­ versal interest. One can imagine that Mrs. Liver- more was so amused that her lecture by no means suffered, at the introduc­ tion afforded her, not long ago, in a country town. You have heard of Mr. Gladstone, the grand old man. Let me now intro­ duce to you the grand old woman." A younger woman, not long ago, while lecturing on "Woman's Bights," was accorded a more grudging recep­ tion. This lady's come to talk about her rights," said a bluff fanner, who boasted of his ability to look on all sides. "She's hired the hall, and so she's got a right to be here, and if any of you don't like what she's got to say, you've got an equal right to walk out in the middle on't." But of all extraordinary remarks, of an introductory character, one of the strangest was that which prefaced a lec­ ture by John A. Andrew. He had gone to Boxford, where the "old homestead" still stood, to deliver the opening lec­ ture in a lyceum course. His family and many invited guests assembled, with the town people, at the red-hot school house. Mr. Andrew ascended the platform, and waited to be introduced. In due time, the chairman of the committee turned to him and announced, sternly: "You may now begin." On a H^nt For His Shirts. A gay young blood of Texas, visiting New Orleans, put up at the St. Charles Hotel, and as a first step in the direc­ tion of personal comfort as well as dec­ oration, gave out what in professional language is called a "wash." Included in said "wash" were some very nice shirts. Our Texan friend entered into the amusements of town and enjoyed all the fun usually to be found in New Orleans. The Texan's "wash" failed to be returned as ordered, and conse­ quently the shirts were missing. The day which ushered in the mishap placed also in the visitor's hands a neat little envelope, directed to our hero in his proper and full name. Breaking the seal, he read: "Get your shirts at Moody's, No. 77 St. Charles street," Dressing himself in hot haste, the man of lost shirts presented himself at the' store of the man who makes shirts and whom he was informed had his, "Is Mr. Moody in?" asked the Texan. Mr. Moodv was in and desired to know of what service he should be to his visitor, all expressed in Mr. Moody's politiest manner. "I want my shirts," quoth the Texan. "Certainly, sir. Your name?" "Ovode," replied the Texan, giving the initials as well. Whereupon the diligent search was made for Mr. Ovode's shirts. The first search proved a failure. Are you sure, Mr. Ovode, that jour shirts are here?" "Postive." Search number two resulted in a failure. "Mr. Ovode," said the amm Moody, "are you absolutely^-positive that your shirts are here ? There must be some mistake." No mistake at all," rejoined the Texan--"no mistake at all. Stopped at the St. Charles Hotel and lost my shirts. There is your printed note, telling me to go to Moody's and get my shirts. They must be here somewhere L" Then the advertising dodge was ex­ plained to the Texan youth, and he con­ cluded to look for his "wash" else­ where. " What a Pretty Woman is Tired Of. I am tired of the woman who culti­ vates her brains at the expense of her heart. Tired of men who don't take (Are of women. Of clothes made by a machine that rip when you pull the string. Of men who climb over you between the acts, tear your gown, make you cross and knock over the bonnet of the woman in front of you. Of children who are dressed in silk and lace rather than in flannel and who wear more jewelry than they do good manners. Of mothers who think ohildren a nuisance. Of hearing Providence blamed for one's own mistake. Of the continued claim that women are not paid as well as men when they do as good work. Of sewing on shoe buttons and sharp­ ening lead-pencils. I am tired of almost everything ex­ cept the American girl, good-looking men, chocolate, hot cakes for breakfast, broad-nibbed quills and a big sheet of paper to write on, fox terriers and babies. Given a nice, sweet, plainly- dresHftcl baby, from the cannibal to an angel in Heaven there is a keen appre­ ciation of it. It has all the virtues of sweets and fox terriers land its possibil­ ities are greater. And yet so wicked is the world, shame npon it, the babies can be bought dogs or Sun. ' The Really Advanced Woman. ' It was an impromptu feminine sym­ posium. Some of the ladies, young and cot young, whose views entitled them to some position among the advanced of |-tne sex had been threading with the mind's eye those wide vistas which seemed to open up before the coming woman. One had declared that the coming woman would be a cosmic--a universal woman. From the comments of another it ap­ peared that the woman of the future would discourse casually upon the theory of correlation of forces over lief coffee and spend her leisure moments over the Differmential Calculus. A young Bostonian of a transcend dential turn of mind felt that the mil­ lennial woman would be thoroughly versed in the early Aryan religions, literature and sciences, and would so Jiave trained her inner vision by the practice of the formulas of Christian Science and the fog of the Buddhist devoteea as to have attained to high and mystic spiritual clarity. A lady from the West received these last views, as well as those of a small person in glasses who timidly put forth the suggestion that the coming woman would doubtless have her opinions as to the absence of intermediate types here and there in the long chain of evolution, with a forbidding silence. When her turn came it transpired that the cosraio woman would be she who could meet every man on his own ground with re­ gard" to the political outlook, the tariff and the liquor laws, and who would have converted his sex to the most fastidious purity of life through inde­ pendence of all matrimonial allurements except those coming from the wealthiest of his kind. "And what do you think, grand­ mamma?" asked one girl of a little old lady, with white hair under the finest of laces, who leaned upon a gold-headed cane like a fairy godmother. "I think the really advanced woman will be--the woman who can hold her tongue." Sensation! "Did you ever observe," calmly «on- tinued the old lady, "two men sitting contentedly side by side for two or three hours and not speaking thrice perhaps ? Could any two women do that? That faculty is what gives men all their power, my dears, and makes clubs pos­ sible. Before the patriarchial system in the world's history there was a matriarchial system. In the horrible" rites of the Phallus the handsomest man, after being married to the Queen, was put to death. Entomologists will tell you of analogous cases in the insect world, where the female is infinitely superior to the male. The female spider does not talk much, you may be sure; she acts instead. 'The man oi many words shall not prosper upon the earth,' saith the Scripture. I always have thought that the psalmist intended it to be 'the woman of many words.' I'm not talking of the shrewish woman's tongue now. We've heard enough oi that since the days of Solomon and Job. In fact, I don't at all doubt that the scolding woman has done some good in her long career. She's made philo­ sophers of a good many men, for one thing. For what can a man do who liae a shrewish wife but take to philosophy or wife beating? And the latter is somewhat out of date. i "No, the type of talking woman I speak of is such as is found in eastern harems and the pizza of country hotels. You think the situations very unlike? It does not strike me so. "The survival of the fittest? Yes. The fittest woman will be she who can become a member of a club; who will have no misunderstandings 'with Mrs* B. and no difficulties with her cook; and who can support with equanimity the sight of Mrs. C. elected to manage­ ment of the church fair over her head." The Boston maiden softly sighed.-- New York Mercury. Sos re light cheaper than either the the oon-bons.--New York LOVE that has nothing in it sented to the Shah, he received a polite j beauty to keep it in good health intimation that a wae j*-] sl^rt-lived and apt to have *gue fit*. but is Notions Abont MairUge. There is a cm-ions custom in modern Greece. The groom is shaved by_a young man whose parents are both living, "while the young men and young girls sing: "Razor silvered and gilt, shave tenderly the young man's cheek, don't leave a hair, lest the par­ ents of .the bride should think him ngly." In the Yosges mountains (fce young women who dress the bride strive as to who shall stick the*firstpin in the bridal robe, as the successful one will be mar­ ried the same year. It was lucky for English bridesmaids to throw pins away. The bride must not look into the mirror after she is dressed for the ceremony, unless she puts on some ar­ ticle of apparel afterward. In Russia the bride must avoid eating the wedding cake on the eve of the cer­ emony or she will lose her husband's love. The sneezing of a cat on the eve of a marriage was considered a good omen in the middle figes, but the howling of a dog then, as now,! wai^es» pecially ominous. The bees are informed of a wedding in Derbyshire and their hives deco­ rated. In Scotland it is deemed especially ominous for a lump of soot to fall down and spoil the breakfast on the day be­ fore the wedding, for a bird to die i» its cage, or for a bird to sit on the window- sill and chirp long. The bride must carefully avoid breaking a dish ou that day. . A In Gi;epce the groom is lightly sprin- kled with water on leaving the home for the ceremony. The bride must visit the oven in company with her father or a near relative, to salute it, and obtain leave to set out. The Romans deemed it an ill omen to meet certain animals on the way to cer­ emony. A priest, hare, dog, cat, lizard, or serpent was unlucky in the middle ages--a wolf, toad, or spider, lucky. In' Scotland it is particularly ominous to meet a funeral. Bride or groom was eertain to die soon, as the sex of the person buried was male or female. In one part of Yorkshire the groom, on meeting a male acquaintance, rubbed his elbow for good luck. Especially ominous are hitches or accidental happenings dnring the cere­ mony. In France, during the middle ages, a ring of straw, or one made fcom a horseshoe nail was placed on the bride's linger, and some had as many as five such rings. The couple also stood on a ring during the ceremony. It Bi ittany, if the wife seeks to rule, she must take care that the ring, when placed on her finger, shall slip at once to its place, instead of allowing it to stop at the first joint. The bride who lost her rihg lost her appetite, and to break it portended death. Attention is also paid in this province to the altar candles. If they burn brightly through­ out the mass the couple will live har­ moniously. The one whose candle burns with the brightest flame will live the longest. If one goes out, then its doner will die that year. The Sweedish bride tries to see thi groom before he sees her,- to gain the mastery. She places her foot before his during the ceremony and sits in the bridal chair first. She must stand neai the groom, so that no one can oome be­ tween them. . The Bible in Literature. It is safe to say that there is no other book which has had so great an influ­ ence upon the literature of the world as the Bible. And it is almost as safe--at least with no greater danger than that of starting an instructive discussion--to say that there is no other literature which has felt this influenoe so deeply or shown it so clearly as the English. The cause of this latter fact is not far to seek. It may be, as a discontented Frenoh critic says, that it is partly due to the inborn and incorrigible tendency ;of the Anglo-Saxon mind to drag re­ ligion and morality into everything. But certainly this tendency certainly would never have taken such a dis­ tinctly biblical form had it not been for the beauty and vigor of our common English version of • the Scriptures. These qualities were felt by the people, even before they were praised by the critics. Apart from all religious po­ ssessions, men and women and chil- ren were fascinated by the native E)wer and grace of the book. The nglish Bible was popular, in the broadest sense, long before it was rec­ ognized as one of our noblest classics. It has colored the talk of the household and the street, as Avell as modeled the language of scholars. It has been something more than "a well of English nndefiled;" it has beoome a part of the spiritual atmosphere. We hear the echoes of its speech everywhere, and the music of its familiar phrases haunts all the fields and groves of our fine lit­ erature. It is not only the theologians and the sermon makers that we look for bibli­ cal allusions and quotations. We often find the very best and most vivid of them in writers professedly secular. Poets like Shakspeare, Milton, and Wordsworth; novelists like Scott, and romancers like Hawthorne;essayists like Bacon, Steele, and Addison; critics of life, unsystematic philosophers, like Carlyle and Ruskin--all draw upon the Bible as a treasury of illustrations, and use it as a book equally familiar to themselves and to their readers. It is impossible to put too high a value upon push a universal volume, even as a purely literary possession.--The Cen­ tury, A Spoiled Boy. Farmer Hayseed--I jes' tell yon thirf 'ere edication ain't no good to a young man at all; jes' spoils 'em. Visitor--Think so. "Huh! Know so. Do you know Bill Smikes? Don't? He lives in that 'ere white house over the hill. Well, Smikes had a boy he was bound to edicate, an' he did. too--sent him through the hull business, frills and all, and mortgaged his farm to do it. Well, sir, that boy come back from college such a dum fool that he was accepted as a juror in a murder trial.-- New York Weekty. BRIDGET--Shall I l'ave the hall lamp burnin', mum? Mistress--No; I am pretty sure Mr. Jones won't be home till daylight. He kissed me three times before he left and gave me $20 for a new„spriug bonnet. Fooling the "Johnnies." In making a study of the genus Man- hattanite, says the Clothier and Fur­ nisher,, one must be careful to draw the proper distinction between the real swells and the wQuld-be's. It is a lact that the would-be's keep a close watch upon the movements of the real swells and take occasion to follow them about, frequent the same resorts and be ae much as possible where they are, if not in their company. They refer tc "Brock" Cutting, "Tom" Howard and "Jim" Harriman with all the long dis­ tance friendliness in the world, and re­ gard the steps of the Knickerbocker Club as leading to the haven of their earthly desires. v The difficulty is that the would-be's never imitate successfully. There is an air of economy and cheapness about their efforts at reproduction which bearB the stamp of counterfeit. It is said that some of the younger Knicker­ bocker Club men, aware that a visit tc Delmonioo's means the making oi themselves a target for the scrutiny in detail of a number of callow youths who hope to lead in fashion only by fol­ lowing some one else, have had no end of amusement by resorting to mislead­ ing devices of all manners and sorts. On one occasion last winter, for a lark, one of the club men appeared in the famous cafe wearing his high hat with his Tuxedo coat. The innovation was enthusiastically taken up by a numbei of the frequenters and from them quite a following, to the delight of the elut wags. It is now not an unusual thing for one of Che real swells to wear some ultra- looking old style of high hat or a furi­ ous bit of neckwear around before the select coterie of would-be's as a species of decoy, and then contemplate in sup pressed jocundity the dudes and John­ nies fall into the trap. To illustrate how closely the watch­ ers are On the trail, it is a fact that on one occasion Mr. Harriman, being una­ ble to get the stems of a large bouton- niere through the button-hole of his dress-coat, pinned the flowers on the lapel, showing the stems and pin. Im­ mediately this method of wearing the button-hole bouquet became the latest fad. This is .an instance where the scent was literally- followed. They "Seem Almost Like Pnns. "What Senator should be most popu­ lar with mineral" said Jack as they left the mine. "Dunno," said Joe, "who is it?" "Senator Culm, of Illinois." "Oh, culm off!" . said the disgusted Joe. "Let's have some be^p; I know what you'll take." ™"~ "What?" "Culm-bacher." c "Great Scott! that'll do! We've got to improve these jokes, and there's only thing left to accomplish it." "What's that?" , "Cull 'em.--Black Diamond. AMONG THE JOKEBS. PABLOB seta--Midnight courtshipw' A DtJXii season--tasteless pepper. A GOOD Jackpot--Kettle of Irabbit •tew. A Watch Word-How mnch can I get on this? A LOTUS thing that feels big HI a tight place is a corn.. THE London Aeronautic Society started a paper called The Ballooni. u has gone up. LANDLADY--How do you like* your beefsteak? Boarder -- Tender. She meant rare or well done. "LET US pretend you married me for my money, Johnnie." "All right, Flos­ sie. Give me a quarter this moraine, dearest." EDITOR (to tipsy reporter)--What are you writing about? Reporter--Whisky. Editor--Well, I see yon are fall erf your subject. WIFR---Well, what do you think is the matter with my husband, doctor? Doc­ tor--I fear he has got water on the brain. Wife--I'll bet he «in't If it's anything it's whisky. ! dear 1 dear! What a pity it is TTOu can't agree!" Small boy--Well, mamma, we should agree, only Daisy's rib unkind! Sho won't be a pig and let mf drive her by the leg!" How DO you like my verses that ap- pearedin tins Weakly Refuse?" "Very well, except as to the fact that they were a trifle gouty." "Gouty?" "Yes; lame in the feet, you know." CUSTOMKFR -How do you sell sugar this morning, Mr. Scales? Grocer--By the pound, sir; same as always. Customer --Well, as I want two pounds this morning, I think I'll go across the way to Mr. Counter's." "CONDUCTOR, what was that?" asked a nervous olcl lady, as the wheels of the coach made a little more jar than usual. "We went over a few frogs then," he re­ plied." "Most likely squ&hed the poor things, too." she said, with a tre­ mor in her voice. ASSISTANT Editor--Here's an account of a minister assaulted by a disappoint­ ed lover, while in the act of performing the marriage ceremony. Chief--Put it in the railway news. Assistant (aston­ ished)--Why? Chief--He was hurt while making a coupling. A YOUNG lady at Athens, Ga., has invented a lamp that will cease to burn exactly at 10 o'clock. The average Georgia lover has no fault to find with the lamp; in fact he would be satisfied iflt would go out as soon as he came in. If the young lady wants to m^ke a real ten-strike she should invent a father who will go to bed at 9 o'clock. A CLERGYMAN writes: "A few years ago, as I was preaching at Albany, Wil­ lie, a little boy some two or three years of age, sat on the front seat listening, as I thought, very attentively. He seemed wholly absorbed, and I began to flatter myself that the 'lambs' were being fed as well as the 'sheep.' But just as I finished my sermon,and was in the act of sitting down, he billed out, at the top pf his voice: 'Mr. Simmons, have you peeu my now stockings ?' The mystery was solved. He had borne in silence the sermon that he might tell me of his little treasure." «« : ; The Glorious Future. Tailor (100 years hence)--Here is • ' bill for your suit, sir, $50. Professional Humorist--Ah, yes. 3 left my check-book at home, but (pro­ ducing a wad of MSS.) I presume you have no objection to my paying you in jokes. Tailor (receipting bill) -- Certainly not, sir. They are always good at any newspaper office.--Clothier and Fur­ nisher. A GOOD many people apparently have not discovered that it is easier to do their work well than it is to make ex­ cuses.--Som erville Journal. "Sunset" Cox's Mysterious Visits*. " ^ There is a good story relating to the || late Samuel Sullivan Cox, which will ^ perhaps bear repeating at 4 this time. ;! One day, years ago, just alter an elec­ tion which had gone against him, he 51 was seated in his study, when a piece ?f pasteboard, embellished by a rudely written name was handed in. Notwith- " standing the forbidding aspect of the card, its gaunt and uncouth six-foot bearer was admitted, and without pre- I; l i m i n a r y f o r m a l i t y , l f £ t e $ A voj$e to this effect: ' "Your name is Cox?* " "I have the honor.* / "S. S. Cox?" "The same." "Sometimes called Sunset Cox?" • "That a sobriquet by winch I am known among my most familiar friends." "You formerly resided in Columbus* " Ohio. < "That happiness was once mine." "Represented that distriot in Con- * gress?" "I enjoyed that distinguished honor, J and I may .add at a somewhat early age." .-J "After a while they gerymandered the distriot so as to make it satherwarm j (oi an aspiring Democrat?" ^ "You have evidently red the history '-v? of your country to good purpose, my friend." "Then you moved to New York, \ where you stood a better show?" ^ ^ "Wertl, my friend, your premise is , correct. I did move to New York. But 1 yonr conclusion is hardly admissible in • i the form of a necessgry sequence. My .1 reason for moving to New York were not wholly political." "We won't discuss that. After unsuc- i i cessfully trying the state-at-large you availed yourself of the opportunity af­ forded by the death of the Hon. James Brooks to move into his district?" "I rn^ved into the district formerly represented by the gentleman you name, but again I must dissent from your conclusions." "Let. that pass. You were elected to Congress from Mr. Brook's former die- t'A trict?" . * "I was. But let me remark, my ^ friend, that at this moment my time is very mu« h occupied. Your resume of my biography, faulty as some of your deductions are in point of logic, is deeply interesting to me, and at a time of greater freedom from pressing en­ gagements I would be glad to canvass the subject with you at length. But just now being unusually busy, even for me, I must request you to state the state the precise object of your visit, and lefc me add that I shall be glad || to serve you." . ^ "I have no favor to ask. I am an ad- : ^ mirer of yours. I always vote for you, and always want to do so if I can. I called this morning merely to inquire if you had selected your next distriot.-- ' Chicago Mail. ,"4 : . At a Bough Estimate. ^ First Passenger (standing ii car)--* J I'm going to make that man move up and give me half of hi* seat.' Second Passenger--Go slow, that's old Specie. Do you know what that ; man is worth? ^ y First Passenger--If pork is worth 8 \ cents a pound, live weight, I should think he ought to be worth $16 easy - enough.--Puck. 21; NOT good enough--"Jane, how often ^ have I told grou net to take policemen 7 5: into the kitchen while I'm out? "And shure, mum, I haven't disobeyed yez." - ^ "How can you say that to my face when I just met one going out as I came in ?* % "Shure, mum, it was the parlor, not the kitchen* I tnk hi]W into, the dfwlm'l"