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-39TW* *; ,-,v'v 4? \*{i *\'i ,'<• ;,*• DECORATIV®. tunnel r tbi maiden said, Andclott r to tlie (friimtiir-r drew; *?$ "Itony alwn VP tuake ine fi>el nfraijl Offcasts disaster ; don't they yOWl?" ":'• Aiklitfcaa tbo drammjr shook' htsjmne. fcj _*V*W'W safe enough with me " laid he,£, "W»tre«H' happen* to the train, Joo nhrnvs can relv ou me!" . AHA, •with ear-splitting whistle's chrlek. ,fl» train pluiivcd la the black abyss; - Into drummer Bought her hl>Kiiuing ohtjek, • '.And fteseoed ic withutnnly ki*K ?. JB»lK>5deno4 by her sweet alarm,' • ;; As on tl*y tore through that ewm/•-" Ms Infid her head upon his arm. , Awl frieaed a dado oa bar MJM. - . '*? , ' J. mSm; me!" the maiden sweelv skilled, Jl» he arranged her tumbled hai.* - Jutd onco again the sunbeam ̂ files ' , In at tho window wfcer<» th»v sail. "All. me!" for OHO* that horrid peit-." .Was robbed of every startling fMBBu .»*«*?, : "*1 thank you for your interest; ^ Bxcuso'm«. sir, I g/bt off here!" ; <•'«•%*• JUkd BO sho loft him. drowned in tlfbl, . ; £ And on the sea of soft dreaifts tolled, siJ •Of her swcnt lips and pure bright eyda, :J| So quickly gained and ']uiekilost. dream.' but ah. at last to wake And learn that in the tunnels dim, 8i«'d seized upon her chance to £aakf». His watch luni chain and diamond pin t ^Drake's Magazine. 1 MAID OF THE MINES. fthat he was the grandest speoimen of a ,1 man that had ever crossed her path; she ' could see and appreciate his massive frame and gigantic strength, and, for that he had once, like Hercules, felled an ox with his fist and had thrashed al­ most every miner in the county, he be­ came Jen's ideal man--her idol. Jen's admiration for the Bnllock was fully reciprocate I by that worthy, though as yet he had never given the jgirl any assurance of the fact. It were la libel on the tender passion to assert that Evans loved Jen Saxton. Yet he almost worshiped the girl with a species of slow, dogged affection, that was none the less intense and determined be­ cause it was outspoken. He rather en­ joyed the secret feeling of security which he cherished within himself: He felt so sure of his prey and knew so Well that he could net his bird at any time. Men and women ontside the narrow World inifnediately contiguous to the 3Dent Scar mine were unknown quanti­ ties in the Bullock's calculations, and were possibilities which never entered into Jen Saxton's day-dreams--if that young woman ever indulged in such Airy and intangible luxuries.̂ - ;;UA. SKKTOH, .>*&**.It S. ATKINSON. n. r "Little more than % generation ago, . £$£ the single line of railroad across West- r"; *<srn Pennsylvania, had not yet com- - anenced the growth of its present octopus-like arms, and, as a conse- v if J'- k queries, the huge iron industries of ft-, f "Westmoreland County were still in their ®n£ancy. T*:- In those days there were few *" more londtv and ragged localities east t*. of the Mississippi, or, indeed, in the ; „ whole world, than that portion of the »- Alleghenies lying almost midway be- |\^*s * tween Pittsburgh and the State capital. : Even to-day the hnman hives of indus- >Jtr5 which the mines and blast fur- * } •, naces have focused on these bleak hill- £• -t ' sides, cannot boast of much refinement; k, %\p;k- thirty years ago one of the roughest of rough communities was that which had • ffit of ps. W?:.< €"'5, mm- em* b - fe. fceeii drawn thither for the purpose 0{ie rating the Dent Scar mine. Ip^ At that time the Dent Scar Iron and "Coal Company, li/hited, had not so spnch as dreamed of its later phenomi- • nal success; it was a young and feeble enterprise employing not more than fifty or sixty men, chiefly miners. By far the larger number were unmarried, • .j / or at any rate had left their wives and i". » iatnilies amid more civilized and conge- uial surroundings than Deat Scar ?fcV «EmM yet afford, and these made their Iwwl jnarterg at a frail but rather exten- «ave structure known as the Joiner's ^ HoteL The men who indulged in such I,' aJjfai-O!- superfluous luxuries as wives -aud children, occupied little huts and • •' aisanties, and for the most part dragged t o©t a checkered existence in squalor and dirt. Of womankind there were posi- 'fevely no interesting specimens at Dent y f • Sear--save one. This was Jon Saxton, a girl of 20, the ; . only child and actiug house-keeper of If ma old miner whose wife had de- |.,f aerted him and his ehild years before. s ; Xkmbtless it would have (been better for / . Jen if her paternal parent had also left /.?; the tender mercies of the world, J- v before he took her into such a God­ forsaken and utterly outlandish locality. For the old man (who was, when sober, • sreally one of the best miners in the dis- ; trict) spend every penny of his large earnings at the bar of the Miners' Ho- rfc^l, and, in a community where every full grown man went to bed drunk ; at least twice a week, was a marked in- p dividual- -bearing as a peculiar token of distinction the sobriquet of "Bugjuice Saxton." "Physically, Jen Saxton at 20 was simply perfection and a magnificent specimen of grandly developed woman- !• hood. Intellectually she was more ig­ norant than a street gamin, for she cer- , tainly could not have distinguished be- tweea a newspaper and a railroad time schedmle. Morally--well, morality was "MC : ^ article not in great demand in the vi- |fv- <cinity of the Dent Scar mine. And yet, morals went in Westmoreland about tikat t time, Jen had done nothing de- cidedly bad; on the contrary, her jLC . queenly physique alone had forced "the ^ t, boya" i»to yielding her a certain amount j|(v-'s •- of respect which few pf the married wo- •A\\ .. «aen around her could command. SmI? The fact that Jen was illiterate mat- ^ "tared very little at the mine, where none Reside the superintendent and the !time- keeper were supposed to have any re- %• quirements for or interest in pens, ink, 'ig,- «nd paper--whether printed paper or - otherwise. So, judged by men (and * " *omen, too) who passed judgment on themselves according to the quantity .. «nd quality of sinew and muscle--men who know no more of soul and mind than they did of Greek verb and trigo­ nometry--Jen Saxton was well nigh as perfect as goddesses are, or should lie. Some people would undoubtedly fiave called the girl coarse, but then one might as well call a lion or a panther •coarse. Men do not measur'e the ac­ tions of wild animals by the same stan­ dards which they apply to rational -human beings, and Jen . Saxton •was of precisely the same nature •a wild animals. Alway when there was a fight or a scuffle (and 'they were frequent) Jen could be found, «n eager aud intensely interested spec­ tator. The fiercer the quarrel, the more ^ enjoyed the excitement. It mat­ tered little to her whether game-cocks, •dogs, boys, men, or women fought; and, if human beings, she was equally indif­ ferent as to the mode of warfare-- tiiough she perhaps preferred old-fash- ioned "bare knuckles" to knives or picks, as tending to prolong the battle. She would never interfere in a "scrap" herself, and was invariably disappointed if anyone else undertook to part the combatants. Womanlike, her sympa­ thies always went with the victor. Perhaps the individual most cordially disliked by the miners at Dent Scar was a huge and powerful Englishman •colled the Bullock, the nickname being dorter, more appropriate, and more «»phonious than that which appeared <m the company's pay-roll -- Elisha Evmns. -The Bullock was an enormous two- lagged l>rute--a monster six feet three inches in height, who carried about with him nearly two hundred pounds avoir- <tmpois, of mastodon bone and cast-iron auucle. His low forehead, knit eye- Imwrs, and heavy jaws, proclaimed liim mt ooee a man of brutal passions and a Imily. And this was the only man at 'tiie mine whom Jen Saxton admired to ! my degree; the only man who could have made the handsome girl his wife Jar the asking!" ' 1 • Why? .1 'fcimply beca»s®, j» * community "which, was materialistic to such a de- that sentiment and intellect counted actually nothing. The Bullock i head end shoulders above his fel Jen Saxton only comprehended : • mm?: •W'. sr The Dept Scar miuers earned large Images and, as pay-day came round oniy once a month, many of the men drew considerable sums of money every time the company's paymaster visited the mine. On a certain pay-day the Bul­ lock left Dent Scar. No one at­ tached much importance to that fact, however. He had probably gone to Tyrone, or Johnstown, or perhaps to Pittsburgh, as he had often done in the past. He would return when his stock of money became exhausted. He had not been absent two days when a young engineer visited the mine. Archibald Allam was a mining expert and had been sent to Dent Scar by the mining company for the purpose of re­ porting on the beat method of making a proposed extension. Allan was a well-bred young fellow; he was also fairly educated and had traveled much. In appearance he was only of average height and quite slender, while his years perhaps numbered 28. Any one of the miners could have thrashed him in forty-five seconds more or less. Con­ sequently, although he was clever at his profession, as well as pleasant in man­ ner and entertaining in conversation, Archie Allan,cut only a very small fig­ ure with the Dent Scar people. Strangely enough, however, Allan not only lost his heart to Jen Saxton, but (which was really far more remarkable) that devotee at the shrine of brute force fell in love with the interesting young engineer. At all events, in a few weeks, they were married by an impecunious justice of the peace, and shortly afterwards Mr. and Mrs. Allan started to leave the (western Alleghenies. That same day the Bullock, tired of his prolonged jamboree, was on his way, afoot, from Tyrone to Dent Scar. Most men after a month's "tear" are physical and mental wrecks; but such was not the case with the Bullock. The only effect his spree had wrought upon him was temporary financial em­ barrassment and of course, a consequent fit of extraordinary ill-nature. Pe was strong as ever and just as confident in his own bullying powers. He saw the couple driving towards him in the rig which Allan had hired and, while they were yet several hun­ dred yards distant, became aware that the woman was Jen Saxton. He also perceived that the man was, to him, a stranger. Evidently the Bullock smell ed a mouse, or, possibly, merely objected to Jen riding with a man who' was not known to himself. At any rate he stopped the horse and, utterly ignoring Allan, accosted the girl in broad North of England dialect. , "Where goin', lass?" Jen, who was fully conscious Of the bully's unspoken admiration and per­ haps affection for herself,and who rightly estimated th? frightful possibilities of such a nature as hi9 when he should learn the truth, said nothing. She shuddered, and the shudder was per­ ceptible both to the Bnllock and to Allan. The latter became impatient; indeed he was hardly the man to brook interference from such a fellow as Evans without resentment. "Stand aside, my man," he said. "My wife and I have no time to lose." "Thy wife? Jen Saxton thy wife? Be'st that so, Jen?" The girl nodded her head in silence, while Allan added: "It seems to me that this is none of your concern." The Bullock's face was white with suppressed murderous passion. He felt that he had been euchered out of what he had hithferto deemed as surely his own as though every legal form and refigious rite had bound Jen Saxton to him. "Ah, lad," he said with a queer, low, savage laugh, "Tha thinks because Jen said 'yes' and because t' squire did th' old trick, that it's all right and none o' my concern. See tha, my lad, thou's gotten to ask me. Do so tha Understand? Me! And the only way to get my consent is to lick me. See tha? Whip me--knock me Out--kill me! Tumble out, now, and see if thou's to keep the lass." Allan saw that the giant meant mis­ chief, so he attempted to start the horse. But Evans had unbuckled the reins from the bit, and the animal stood quite still. As for Jen, like an old war- house that smells powder, her eyes flashed, her nostrils dilated, and she clinched her fingers tightly at the pros­ pect of a fight--a fight in which her old favorite, the Bullock, would undoubt­ edly utterly annihilate his opponent. The fact that such opponent was the man whom she had just married counted for nothing now that her old wild nature asserted itself, strong as ever. She was eager to behold the fray, and said never a word of encouragment to Allan, nor uttered the faintest re monstrance to Evans. Archie Allan was no coward, though he knew full well that his1 chances were small, indeed, in a contest with the Bul­ lock. So when the latter, taking one end of the reins, brutally struck the heavy strap across the young man's face, Allan, springing from the bugg; planted his fist in Evans' face. Then the battle began--and ended. T%o blows from the Bullock, one on the mouth and one on the temple, laid the young engineer on the wayside, appar­ ently lifeless. As a matter of fact he was only stunned, though Jen and the Bullock thought him dead. Evans, to whom the exertion of knocking Allan insensible had been | the merest trifle, now cooHy turned his attention to Jen. Different phases of oassion were surging through both the man and the woman. The ' Bullock, though outwardly calm, was filled .with an exulting and demonacal sense of tri­ umph and absolute possession. Jen was fearfully excited--trembling with pas­ sionate admiration for the brute who had thrashed (killed, she thought) h^jr husband. It was a curious couple--a couple that would at that moment have furnished an interesting psychological study. The girl had descended from the gig wlienx Allan sprang out of the vehicle to grapple with Evans. The Bullock now took a couple of steps toward her and stood with his cold, brutal eyes glaring into hers, which sparkled with unnatural bril­ liancy. "Dost tha want him now?" asked the man. For a moment Jen glanced at the still and prostrate form of Allan aud, as she did so, a slight shudder passed through her majestic form. Only for a moment, and then, unable longer to control her feelings, she threw her shapely arms around the neck of her husband's murderer (as she supposed) while she covered his rough, unshaven face with a torrent of mild, hot kisses. *No, no, jio! 'Lisha, Ii am yours-- you could always have had me for the asking. Take me away from him and, do anything you've a mind to with me." Even the rough brute was momen­ tarily moved and, as his gray eyes lighted a little with supreme satisfaction at the girl's confession, he passed one arm around htr waist, and together they walked away, No one ever saw the Bullock and Jen Saxton any more. The place where this strange en­ counter took place was about two mile3 from the Dent Scar mine. . A year after­ ward Archie Allan yvas again in West­ moreland County, working at a con­ templated mine extention. He proposed utilizing an old shaft which was quite close to the spot where he had been left for dead--a shaft which had been sunk some years previous and abandoned, it was nearly two hundred feet deep and, when Allan decended to commence his investigations, he found the skele­ tons of two persons; one was covered by the clothing in which Evans was last seen, and the other was wrapped in the dress worn by Jen Saxton on her wed- dingday. V" . 4 T 1 NEW WOBDS. Would An Empress Who Cooks. The Empress of Austria is the best royal house-keeper in Europe. She is as thoroughly acquainted with details of the imperial Austrian kitchen as her husband is with the details of the im­ perial Austrian government. ' She superintends the household affairs • of the big jialace at the Austrican capital with the greatest care. She receives personally, reads and acts upon reports from cooks, butlers, keepers of the plate, and keeper of the linen. Cook­ ing divices which have become incon­ venient or antiquated are abolished only at her command. New methods of preparing or saving food are adopted only at her suggestion. Changes in the peraounel of the establishment are made for the most part only in obedi­ ence to her orders. Consequently a person can eat, drink, sleep and be served better in her house than in any other in Europe. The kitchen in which the food for the bluest blood of Austria is cooked is a huge room with all the arrangements at each end for preparing fish, fowl and beast for the table. Fifty chickens can be cooked at once on one of the big whirling spits. Against the side walls from floor to ceiling stand scores upon scores of chafing dishes. In these dishes, all of which are self-warming, the meats are carried to the carving- room, whence they are returned to the kitchen ready to be served. The boil­ ing and baking and frying and carrying and cutting occupy a small regiment of servants. Twenty-five male cooks, in white clothes, dress, spit, season and stuff the meats. As many female cooks prepare the vegetables, the pudding and the salads. A dozen or more boys hurry the birds, fish and joints from the kitchen to the carving room, where long lines of carvers slice and joint everything laid before them. A show-Window Frand* I do not usually become wildly en­ amored of a ring I see in a shop-win­ dow. A walking-stick, however, that I saw exposed in a certain Madison Street store, the other day, caughl my fancy most str6ngly. It was one of a pyra­ mid of silver-headed canes, and the price for any one of the whole lot was plainly marked on the pile. I walked into the store, pointed out the cane I wished for and tendered my money in payment. The response of the sales­ man was to journey to the rear of the store, return with a vast bundle of canes in his arrhB and spread them out for my inspection. I protested that I didn't waut any of them, but went through them in order to see if there was one of them of similar pattern to the one I coveted. There was not, and I again stated that I wanted that par­ ticular stick in the window or none, ex­ plaining that the peculiar shape of its handle was the feature that captivated me. Then the store-keeper brusquely Btated that it would be too much trouble to get it out of the window, and that I could not have it. Astonished, I asked him if the stick was not for sale. He admitted that it was, but declined to take it out, although it was easily within reach and could have been se­ cured with little or no trouble on his part. There was no way of compelling him to make the sale, and I left, won­ dering how many people this particular store-keeper man ages ̂ o bamboozle an­ nually by tempting them with wares conspicuously placed and ticketed in his window and palming off inferior articles upon them once they have been lured inside.--Chicago Journal, Life in Fizen Creek. Tourist--Will you kindly direct me to Bob Cat City? Col. Wliipsaw (of the Rattlesnake Ranch)--Yes, sir. Keep right up Frozen Man's Gulch Txrat two miles till you come to where two horss thieves are hangin' on one tree, turn to yer right till yer come to two hangin' on two trees, keep to yer left past Murderer's Tree with the limbs all broke off, cut down across where you'll see some fel­ lers lynchin' another hoss thief, then over the hill an' down through Bill Chaparejo's private cemetery an' up along where the sheriff an' his posse is besiegin' Pike County Pete, turn to the right an' pass three more hoss thieves 'bout ten feet from ther ground an' cut down a side road past the pest-house an' there you be. Good-by. Hope you won't miss yer way. Very Singular. A.--Do you know that Jones is going to marry Miss Duzenbury? B.--Yes, so I hear. What surprises me is that sucH an intelligent girl would ever have anything to do with a man who is so stupid as to want to make her hia wife. ••TrpoWbHpt" and "Orophotritr Conielii Nicely. PhiloH. Sylvester in North American Review: Some time ago in a newspa­ per article I took occasion to insist on the necessity of introducing into the language one or two new words in or­ der to express with clearness ideas growing oiit of the use of one of the modern labor-saving devices, which in all probability is bound to be more and more used'as tiuie goes on. The de­ vice referred to is the typewriter. That it will entirely supersede handwriting is by no means likely; but that dexterity in the use of it will come to be one of the essentials in the education of boys and girls I have not the lightest doubt. There will necessarily be some .loss along with a great gain, since the in­ dividuality of handwriting--one of its chief charms--will, as a matter of course, disappear. In connection w*ith the, use of the typewriter the necessity for two new words must be apparent on a moment's tjipughtful consideration.* 0>ne of these is fnr the product of the typewriting machine. "Typewritten manuscript" should not be substituted for it? The word is properly formed, and is needed to express a new idea; and along with this would naturally go "typoscripture" to convey the alstract notion of the art of typewriting. Equally, if not more, needed is a name for the typewriting machine, "Typewriter" is now applied indiscriminately to the machine and the operator, so that when a man says, "I have just got a new typewriter," it is impossible for his friend to determine without further inqiiiry whether a ma­ chine has been purchased or a pretty young woman engaged. My tirst thought upon this matter was that "typograph" would be an excellent word to denote the instrument on which "typoscript" is produced; but as soon as my attention was called to the fact that we already have the words "typog­ raphy," "typographical," etc., with well established meanings, it was ap­ parent that " typograph" would not en- swer the purpose. Instead of this "graphotype" was suggested, and as this is equally good ctymologically, as it expresses the same idea, and as it is free from the fatal objection that lies against "typograph," I see not why it is not an admirable word to express the thought. "Typoscript" and "graphotype," then, are, in my judgment, needed additions to the language, antf the sooner they come' into common use the better. There should be no hesitation in using »them because they are new, for they staud for new ideas, and in their make­ up they violate no law that J rightly gov­ erns the formation of words. In con­ nection with this I may add that a long with "typoscript" would properly go the abbreviations TS. and TSS. as counterparts to the loug accepted MS. and MSS._ . A "Bunco Sharp" Baffled. A good story of the confidence man was related to a Tribune reporter one day last week, by two countrymen from Lewis County, who were lodging at a Park Row Hotel. They were typical back country farmers in every respect; their clothes were modelled after some extinct fashion-plate; the coat had neither collar nwr buttons, while the waistcoat and trousers opened at the back. Their first thought was to pay for everything they got, even for riding to the upper floors of a building in an elevator. This was their experience. They were strolling along the Bowery near Hester street one evening, inter­ estedly gazing at everything they saw, when they were suddenly accosted by a well-dressed gentleman who, to use their own expression, looked like "something made to play with." After vigorously shaking them by the hand in the customary fashion, he by means of the usual interrogations elicted from them, as he thought, where they were from and their names. But they had been well posted on the ways and means of this gentry, by the proprietor of their hotel. After treat­ ing them to the "queen's taste" he sprang the usual scheme of a good thing in a lottery, when to his disgust, they shook him by the hand and treated him in turn and slapped him on the back, saying, "Well. now. old friend, as you have suoh a good scheme on hand, we are perfectly willing to trust our luck, but our money at present does not ex­ ceed $2. Wont you kindly lend us $10 to invest with you in your scheme? We will pay you with a check on our county bank." The bunco man was for . a moment dumfounded; but, after rallying, he found that he had only one dollar,and a half with him. But if they would ex­ cuse him he had a friend around the corner who would advance him the amount until the bank opened in the morning. After waiting some minutes, they came to the conclusion that they had taught him a lesson which lie would never forget. When they arrived home that evening, and compared notes, they found that, together with his valuable and energetic services, as a guide, around the city, they had enough cigars in their pockets to last them each two weeks.--Neiv York Tribune. He Never Got Used to Battles. Col. James M. Thompson gave his opinion as follows: "The quality of courage in battle I regard as leing to a large extent a physical attribute. I have heard a good deal of talk about the nonchalance of men in action, and their ease and composure after the first gun was fired, but I never took much stock in it. I went through the war in the army, and it was my fortune, to be through a portion of the service in Vir­ ginia, where there was a good deal of hard fighting to do, and there wasn't any creditable way to get out of it, either. I saw service in twenty-eight battles, and I can freely say that I for one 'never got used to it.' I never went into a fight without an all-prevailing sense of danger and was always glad when it was over. Of course, moral courage, high patriotism and the mili­ tary spirit kept the majority of men right up to the mark, but there were notable instances of men whose phys­ ical natures simply failed when called on. They could not possibly go into a fight. A clear head and a full concep­ tion of the enormous consequences of cowardice to themselves failed to spur them to the staying point, and on the first whiz of a bullet their signals of distress were visible to all in sight. "A well-known New York Colonel, a perfect gentleman and scholar, a patriot and a really noble fellow, was so weak in point of courage, and his humiliation so great at really being afraid to face danger, that" he was forced to retire from the army, went to Washington,.pined away and died in a few weeks. I knew another prominent officer whose friends, out of considera­ tion for his well-known failing, used to manage, on one pretext or another, to keep him out of '.engagements and thus shield him from exposure. Men like that are to be pitied," not blamed. They want to fight but their bodies act-, ually refuse to do their will.--Globe- Democrat. Matlaine de Stgel. It was a high tribute that the most beautiful woman in France paid to the most fascinating of French conversa­ tionalists. "If I were queen of France." said Madame Recamier, "I would command Madame de Stael to talk to me all day long." This gifted woman was once driving with several distinguished men. Suddenly they were surprised by a violent storm bursting over their heads. So ab­ sorbed were they by the vivacity of her conversation, that not one of them had noticed a sir n of the gathering storm. Mr. Hammerton says, ill the Intel- factual Life, that Madame de Stael ob­ tained her literary material almost ex­ clusively by means of conversation. When a subject occupied her t • ghts, she systematically direcled to it the talk of learned and brilliant mot). As a fisherman uses a net to catch fish, so she used conversation to catch ideas and suggestions. * She would write a brief, rough draft of her intended literary project, which she showed to a few friends. Their hints were incorporated in tire second draft, which was also shown to trusted friends. She inserted their suggestions in it, and then her secretary copied the corrected manuscript on paper with a broad margin for farther additions. During this process of incubation, the ingenious woman made every one of her friends talk who was. likely to be of any use to her. What she heard she either wrote down on a wide margin or incorporated in the body of the manu­ script. She used her ears for they were nat­ ural providers. She used her eyes so little that she once said that were it not out of respect to custom she wottld not open the window to see the Bay of Na­ ples for the first time, whereas she would travel 500 leagues to talk with a clever man whom Bhe had never met. Coleridge tells an anecdote which shows that the gifted authoress could descend to the duplicity of a "society" woman. Coleridge was sitting one day .with Madame de Stael in her London house, when her man servant entered and asked if she should receive Lady Davev. "Oh, dear!" Bhe exclaimed, raising her eyebrows and shrugging her shoulders; " O, my friend, do pity me! What shall I do ? I detest her. She is insupportable!" But Lady Davey was admitted, and Madame de Stael flung her arms around her, kissed her on bo£li cheeks, pressed her to her bosom an^ toid her she was enchanted to see her. . Amusing the King. One would think it odd, to say the least, if,: on visiting the court of a civil­ ized country, he were called upon to show his proficiency in swimming as a method of proving his desirability as a guest; yet such was the experience of a missionary in Africa, who tells his story in ' ,Two Kings of Uganda." Swimming is a very rare accomplish­ ment in Buganda. One' day, wheu I had obtained audience with King Mwanga, he asked^ me eagerly, "Can you swim ?" "Yes," I replied, "a little." "Will you swim in my pood?" ho continued. "I should be most happy." ?. "When will you do it?" " Whenever you wish." . • " "Will you come now?" he ask^d, with great interest. "Is it not too late?" "Ah, you will not come now'!" he re­ peated, in a disappointed tone. % "Yes, noV, if you like," I said. Soup got the King, stepped from his" throne, took me by the hand and led me out, followed by a crowd of pages, and we made our way to the jJond. It was rather muddy," but I took off my clothes and, plunging into the water, swam about, to the Ring's great satis­ faction and delight. He had evidently doubted my proficiency in so great an art, and when he found that I was no deceiver, his respect for me was bounded. ^ Executed by an 01 ̂Friend. They have never had a murderer un­ til lately in the French colony of Sain6 Pierre and Miquelon. Consequently, when a man named Noel was condemned to the gillotine for havingslain a fellow- man, an amateur Diebler had to be liiredj When the convict and his ex­ ecutioner arrived at the place where the guillotine was erected, a scene took place that would have been serio-comic had it been enacted amid less lugubri­ ous surroundings. Noel recognized the grim functionary as an old chum, aod immediately saluted him in the follow­ ing manner: "Hello, Jean Marie, old chap, 'tis yon. I never thought it would come to this. Anyhow, mon vienx, you might stand me another glftss before I die." The executioner was so moved that he began to tremble like a leaf; but he quickly told Noel that duty had to be done before everything else. "Well, then," said the convict, putting his head calmly in the lunette, "be quick about it, and whatever you do don't miss my neck." The knife was then pulled down; but it seems the old comrade did his work in a very bung­ ling manner. He Had Her There. She was late in motioning to the conductor to stop the car, and was therefore carried half a square beyond the crossing. "Sir, is this thewaV* you attend to your business?" she demanded as^slie stood on the step. "I stopped as soou as you motioned," he replied. "But you were gazing along the street. You ought to be reported to the manager." "Yes'm." "ButI will let it go this time." "Yes'm." "But let it be a varning to yon in the future." "Yes'm." "You did't seem to be much afraid of being reported," observed a passenger as the car moved on. "Well, no," replied the conductor, as he softly chuckled down below his Adam's apple. "She's the manager's divorced wife, you know." THERE is no American boy, however poor, however humble," orphan though he,,may be, that/ if he have a clear head, a true heart, a strong arm, may not rise through all the grades of so­ ciety and become the crown, the glory, the pillar of the State. ' WOMAN is a lovely creature, and Bhe knows it, too, but she is always willing to be told of it once more. SometWnr About Shoes. Nobody knows who was the first shoe­ maker. There must have been a time when everybody went barefooted, and the first shoes were probably made of woven reeds or skins. The original shoemaker doubtless sought comfort moro than style. 1 The Celt, who at tames wandered over moor or morass, at others over stony mountains, invented a shoe that suited his purpose exactly. A sole of heavy hides protected his feet from the sharp stones, while uppers or legs of lighter skins protected his ankles' and legs from thorns and bushes. The bus­ kin was so constructed that the water exuded from it as soon as the foot ceased to be immersed. In the modern shoe, the idea is that water be kept out, not let out. The Celtic buskin was tough and elastic, and could be replaced wherever there were untanned skins at hand. Every Celt was his own shoe­ maker. With the Norman conquest came the introduction into the British Isles of tanned leather, which had long been in use in Normandy, where it had been introduced by the-Romans. Shoes then began to take on style, and'the styles have never been dupli­ cated in later days. From close fitting shoes fashion went to long, pointed toes, which, in time, grew so lopg that they had to be fastened to the . wearer's knees. Shoes were gorgeous affairs in the middle ages. King Richard, the Lion- hearted, had his boots stamped with gold. John Lackland, his brother, wore boots spotted with golden circles; while Henry III. wore boots checkered with golden line*, every square of which was enriched with a lion* Car- ilu^kl,Wolsey's shoes \vere Of gold and stones precious - , ' Costing many a thousand poupdfc. Sit Walter Raleigh v.'Ore shoes studded with diamonds, said to have cost £80,000. The gallants in Charles II.'s time, wore their high boot tops turned down to the ankles to show the gorgeous lace with which they were lined. High-heeled boots were worn by ladies for three parts of the eighteenth century. They raised their fair own­ ers some inches, rendering walking difficult and running impossible. But these fashions were confined to the rich. The poor wore shoes of wood, reeds and untanned leather. The Highlander made brogans out of un­ tanned deer-hide, and the Southern nations wore cloth sand lea and slippers. It was not until the year 180U that an Englishman invented "rights and lefts;" previously both shoes were shaped exactly alike. . So far as we can discover, the aborig­ inal tribes of America never went bare­ footed. They always made und wore mocassins, the easiest shoe ever <in- vented. On the other hand, the Aus­ tralian natives knew nothing of shoes, and the natives of Africa are in the same box to this day. The Chinese make their shoes of wood and paper, and cannot remember when the}* began to make them. A Chi­ nese shoe is warm in winter, cool in summer, and always easy to the foot. Superstition, as usual, has busied herself greatly about shoes; but it is not worth while to cite all the silly say­ ings about them. There is no sig­ nificance about the way people wear their shoes, either at heel, toe or side, although untidy footgear is doubtless some indication of carelessness. Sec that you have a comfortable shoe, keep it tidy, and bad luck will never bother you. --- Heury Grace HcUmm W Golden Days. lilliitSsjj a • A;,, '-r -• Why Quakers Live Long.** " It is quite true that many "Friends" live long. It is equally true that cer­ tain circumstances in their history mili­ tate against long life. Among these latter intermarriage is perhaps the most in^portant of all. The followers of George Fox have never been very num­ erous, but until late years they have been extremely exclusive. The inevi­ table result of that has been extensive intermarriage throughout the whole community. The consequonces of the frequency of iutermarriage has been, and are still, very evident. Quakers, as a class, are not muscularly robust; many of theln are decidedly antemic, and not a few are mentally feeble. Yet, in spite of these practical and serious drawbacks, the Friends, as a class, do more than their proportion of the world's serious business, and they man­ age to attain to a high average of lon­ gevity. Now this is exactly the kind o! fact that true medical science likes to get hold of and to interrogate and learn from. What is the reason, asks the sensible man, why Quakers, with so many undoubted disadvantages, attain to such a high average of. success in all that constitutes worthy life, and also succeed in enjoying their success to an exceptionally old age?,, The reason, Ave are convinced, is to be found in their quiet habits and dis­ ciplined life; An ordinary doctor, or even layman, would probably have felt much more interest in the subject at this point if we had been able to affirm that the Quakers owed their success and long life to certain drugs, as, for example, to arsenic, phosphorus, strych­ nia, and the like; or to certain methods of feeding, as vegetarianism, or meat eating, or fruit eating, or wine drinking, or teetotalism, or smoking, and so on. But we submit that that shows a want of real mental capacity. For what, after all, is the true importance of the subject ? Does it not consist in the un­ doubted character of the results? The results are really the things to be con­ sidered; As a matter of fact the Quakers are successful in life. As a matter of fact they do live long. Then, surely, truo science will not curl the lip of scorn because these results are ob­ tained by what may be called "natural and simple" processes, instead of by elaborate preparations and out-of-the- way methods.--Hospital. & -- • Transmigration. "It's singular--infernal singular," mused old Dr. Pillers, the other day. "What's singular," asked another cemetery enlarger. "Why, you know old Mrs. Skimson. Well, fifty-two years ago she ran a needle into her right elbow, and yester­ day--" "Exactly," put in the Other; "it came out of her left elbow!" "No it didn't. It came out the back of her grandson's (head. That% what beats me!" "APROPOS," said Nate, "I think these two are the best I have heard: 'Fools make feasts, and wise men know better than to eat them.' How's that? And here's one I thought of to-day: 'Man proposes, women disposes, and marriage composes, and divorce ex­ poses. OGHT AND BRIGHT. A MISBB is known by the money he keeps. •' ' ^ i 'ff y°V' 0x6 postage stamp said to the envelope. "TNIW about is not fair play," said the blind horse in the treadmill. AN Indiana man read a newspaper headline, "The Situation at Washiag- ton," and he telegraphed to Harrison for it at once. LAWYER (speaking of prisoner at the bar)--I can say on path, sir, that I have met this man in places where I would be ashamed to be seen. BLINKS--I read a most remarkable story the other day in an Arizona pa­ per, the Tombstone Epitaph. Jinks Huh! Who ever heard of an epitaph telling the truth. •% GERMAN (just arrived in Chicago)-- Say, my frent, vill you tell me vare dot Lim burger cheese factory vas? Police Officer--That • ain't no cheese factory what yer smells--that's de streets. TIRED CHILD--Mamma, how much did you put in the collection ? Mother a quarter, my dear. Why? Tired Child (gaping)--well, this preacher gives an awful lot for the money. \ ISITOR You don't mean to say that you do sewing Sundays ? How can you do such a wicked thing? Lady of the house---O! but, you know, I always sit at the back window. Visitor--O, Veil, that's a different thing, of course "I THINK," said the young man as refused him for the third time, "that I will go into the business of photo- . graphy." "But," said she, "you haven't the experience." "I don't know about that. I have developed several nega­ tives recently." V I "MAMMA." demanded a 7-year-old |philosopher, "who was the first person that ever died in the world?" "Child, I do not know. Why do you 'ask ?" "I was just thinking how very lonesome it must have been up there without any one for company." GOTHAM Lady (toguest--lam obliged to apologize for our drinking-water. The Croton water, nevdr very good, is worse than usual since the heavy rains. Bonanza Prince (from the West)--Don't disturb yourself on my account, madam. If the water ain't goo<|. I'd just as lief have beer. SHE (as he steals a Itiss)--Why, you robber! 1 shall have you arrested for larceny from the person. He (kissing her once more)--Very well; I have given it back. If you make that com­ plaint against me I shall charge you with receiving stolen property knowing it to be such. TOMMY--I'm going to tell ma yon pushed me overboard. Little Johnnie --Yyu'd better not. Tommy--She'll lick me if I say I fell over. Little Johnnie--That's what you'd better tell her. If you put the blame on me, I'll lick you, and I'll hurt yon more than your mother will. "WHAT have you for me this mbrn- ing?" said Blinkins, as the letter carrier approached. "Something important, I suppose." "No, sir; only a couple of postal cards. One of them is an invi­ tation to the meeting of the Tawk-Tawk Club, and the other is from your wife asking you to meet he'r at the train. MR. A. --What a pleasant person Mrs. Greene is to visit! She always receives one so courteously, you know. Mr. B. --why, that's the only reason that I do not call upon her. It is a sign of vul­ garity, don't you know, to appear pleased to see visitors. It looks as though you were not in the habit of re- fseiving company. BLOGGS (late in tallow trade, who has just bought a place down in Midland- shire, confidentially to the Earl of Mid­ lands, after dinner)--Now, wot I was a- thinkin', my lord, was this: You've got the rank,I've, got the money ;s'posin' my son marries one of your gals ? Eh, my lord? Wot do you say? Earl of Midlands (pale, but calm)--With great pleasure, Mr. Blcggs. Which one would he like--the kitchen girl or one from the dairy? (Poor Bloggs) I I REALLY don't know, for certain whether he's married or not," said Johnson, "but the other day I saw him wheeling a perambulator down the street with two squalling infants in it. And behind him were two females, and the younger of them was saying to him, 'You wretch! you've been like that twice this \%eek--you know you have!' And then the other female pleasantly remarked, 'Matilda, if you don't make him insure his life for another thousand before his liver's altogether gone you're no daughter of mine.' This looks like carriage, anyhow! Don't it, old man?" It's Done by Personal Experience. "Is it true," was asked of an old tramp who reached Jersey City the other day on the bumpers of a freight car, "that tramps leave marks on gate posts, sign boards, doors, and other places to tell the next comer what reception may expect?" , "Naw!" was his indignant reply. , " But how do you tell ?" , "Personal experience, me boy, and that's uncertain. If the house looks all right and there are no men around and the dog is chained up in the barn, yon enter the gate and knock on the side door or go around to the back. If the woman isn't up stairs sewing, and if none of the young 'uns are down with the measles, and if she hasn't got call­ ers in the parlor, she'll answer your knock." "And then it's all right." "Not by a long shot! If she happens to be in good humor, and if her hus­ band has promised her a new fall hat and if her corns are all right >and if she happens to like the first look of you, she'll hand out cold meat and bread, and perhaps a boiled egg and an old pair of boots to go with it; but if she's the least bit out of sorts she straightens up, extends her arm, and tragically ex­ claims: 'Now you git!' And I mean mer and try the next." . ; c How She Did It. Chicago school teacher--Does any little boy or girl know the poem about Old Mother Hubbard? Little girl (from Boston)--I do. "Very well; you may recite it for the .others." "Aged Mother Hubbard performed that particular style of voluntary loco­ motion known as walking in the direc­ tion of the receptacle in which provis­ ions were wont to be kept, for the pur­ pose of providing for her faithful canine a portion of the frame of a body. But, upon arriving at the aforesaid recep­ tacle, what was her dismay upon dis­ covering that it was in a state of abso­ lute nudity.--Lawrence American. - A QOOD Rule--Upson Dovnes--I've come to you, Barker, after • little ad­ vice. Barker Carper--Well, hen's some: Never ask for anv. .». .*..,^.^.4 i -J"*,.. i *!$• J* - > % I i 3 * , ' " f l ? f ' " *" ffS"