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I -1: V* * V sfWlW: p»-"s> - J >'mse,i:i W* V "•»,?, •"^-..vrf;-A:?s / ' ^ * / "Hrjlg '" ,f^X*r' '. )4 ,, ^ SENSATIONAL AFFAIR. Xiost Won the Girl sad McMurry ,-v„ .... .jp th« Uriitk#. * A case In which the people of » town of Missouri have shown great interest hu just keen decided in court. It seems tiut two young men, Rodney Boyers «d Sam McMurry, werie paying de- Toted court to Miss Ethel Morris, a I joung lady whose grace and beauty * ltas won more than a local reputation* Miss Etliel, rather unsentimental of ;> temperament for one bo sentimental of form, declared that she really had no Vf|)reference as to which one she would 'Vy'$cceptt and that the selection should be > |eft entirely with her father. The young Bien began to manifest a high regard i for the old man. They asked his ad­ vice with regard to business matters; they flattered him with praise of his ability to take an influential position in the Legislature; they gave him delicate little * confidences and kept him in cigars, but the old man winked slyly and kept his own counsel. Boyers disposed this matter, a ul although it may appear by what I'm going to say that I am seek­ ing an advantage, yet for Ethel's sake I cannot help saying it. Now it is just fhis: McMurry may show, as he un­ doubtedly does, many signs of pros­ perity, but the truth is, Mr. Morris, he fioes not attend to his business more than half the time." " Why, I never heard this charge against him before," the old man re­ sponded. "His business seems to be V\, -good and well regulated, but no busi- 'j\ * fiess can stand negligence. You speak > advisedly, do you?" jp r« ; f uI am willing to swear that what I ' »ay is true." V, "Well, I don't want my daughter to ^ \ jnarrv that sort of a man. Mr. Boyer ".*1. I have long known you to be a man of (strict integrity, and, sir, I cannot be- jieve that you would maliciously make this statement." y-j., "I surely would not, Mr. Morris; in- „ deed, I am so careful with regard to !f5 . §uch a master tliat I would not even .liint at it unless I knew it to be an ab- > 'aolute fact." * v.' *, " "Enough, Mr. Boyers. I shall de- cide in favor of you, sir. Ethel is yours." %r Thev were married. The town smiled J%armly upon the happy couple, but ' : Bam McMurry sat in the back room of i^hi® store, deeply brooding. He could •*"liot understand why the old m»n had " v so suddenly and so rudely turned from 1 liim. "A few days ago," the young |'N tnan mused, "the old fool laid the firm fiand of encouragement upon my p, ahoulder ;he gave me to understand that ^ "I had nothing to fear,that Ethel should be mine. The echo of his enchanting ^ : .Drords had scarcely died away when he turned upon me and without giving me f' • an explanations drove me from him. But 1^' : must have rifi explanation." f*"t\ • Bover and his wife, after a wedding ^ tour down into Jackson County, began v- t°. - keep house, and even the gos- • f;ips did not dispute the fact that they fT' -Were happy. Several months passed. I?" "One day old man, Moms was watkiog ?/, |ilong tbe street when some one called %_.-liim, and, looking baclf, he saw Mc- • Hurry hastening toward him. v • "Mr. Morris, I have something to say to you, sir. Some time ago, after liav- S : v/fng led me to believe that you were go- p 4ng to give me your daughter, you turned upon me and drove me from ki ' y your presence. I demanded an expla- 1 . fcation, but yott would give me none. :), %Jfow, as it is all over, now that I have gracefully surrendered, I would like ft,. *|or you to tell me the cause of your |r- - peculiar action. Kemember that I make jdo demand, but request you, as a man % ,for whom I have a great respect, to tell ^me the cause." "I do not wish to cause trouble, Mr. jf." „ |VIcMurry, so I therefore beg of you to f' . i Jet the matter remain in harmless--" ?, ^ * 1 will make no trouble, I assure you," ' ̂McMurry broke in. "Boyer and I are |r.' On good "terms, recognizing the fact that v ©very strategemis fair in love." . "I don't know that I should mind * felling you, after alt," said the old man. It isn't much to tell, after all. He erely said that you didn't attend to our business half the time." McMurry laughed musically and trode away, but there was no mirth in is heart, no music in his soul. He Jneditated revenge; he would sue his j ' » iival for slander and would demand as ? ;^restitution, the sum of twenty thousand ^•t\ dollars." The suit was brought. The town was «K'V, . wild with excitement. It was the first >.case of any consequence since old Nat ri f; barker sued the town marshal fw shoot- ;>ing his cow. Able lawyers were ©m- f , ployed; the case proceeded. "Your honor," said Boyers, "as my , time is somewhat valuable, I will assist 4; ';ithe court by simplifying matters. I did fp> - pay that Mr. McMurry was absent from f:\:liis business half the time at least, and \ . J have not the slightest doubt that I * , ̂ gained a wife by making the statement." "Ah, you confess judgment," the ^ ' ^Judge asserted, "and I therefore see no '•[jneed to continue the trial." ^ I:- "But hold on, Judge. I can prove my • /jsiBtatement is true." f "By whom, sir?" McMnrry de- , x Imanded. "By you, si"," Boyers- answered. "Boyers, I don't want to call you a iar right here in court," "Consult your own pleasure about that. Now, let's see. What time do . jwi get down to your store at morn- jAv jing ?" "Seveno'clock," said McMurry. i f "All, hali, seven o'clock. You ffo to * " luncheon at noon, I suppose." "Of course I do. What are you try- . «ing to get at?" , V ' " Y o u ' l l f i n d < j u t a f t e r a w h i l e . Y o u spend at least an hour at luncheon. You < ^ leave the Rtore at eight o'clock, or (£, " thereabouts* eh ? Well you stay away ^ 41 ;tmtil next morning; so, summing it all ; ;up, your eat iog and sleeping keeps you '-'j^away from business at least half the . time. I did not say that ypu neglected i .jour business, but that yon did not at­ tend to it more than half the time." i "Gentlemen of the jury,# said the "I feel that you will agree with when I say that the drinks are on . •,> *4» .McMurry. Let us therefore adjourn." ,t'T: --Arkan&atv Traveler. It Was the Church rait < *>• ^ A good story is told of a farmer who 'was of miserly turn of mind and hnd at- •. Q ^'tended church but little, and had given ^ " scantily for the support of the gospel. §£S'S^It was in the early summer when he ,y. > * startled his better half with the excla- , - mation, "Jane, we, as you well know, Lave two very fine young calves, and as I ' I have done nothing scarcely hitherto f\X . for church support I am going to give ';y ;?"one of Ihnse calves to the church." t ' Everything moved on merrily for awhile ' ' |until ftccklen ally on a summer's morn- -•/*. -iiig oae of the calves came suddenly to an untimely end.* The farmer looked the animal over as it lay on the green t :;\8ward before liim. He spent but a f . ! ̂ «!>ort 'tlm l^ jl ent f&ought, and then i'i f " 1 raising his eyes and looking about him to see if any one was within hearing distance, and seeing no one he raised himself erect and with a look of relief pictured on his countenance, whisparnd audibly, "That's the church calf." The moral may be easily drawn by the reader,--E. Lewiston (Me.) JoiwnqJ^ \ -A Carieus Coincident*. -v "Wliat dav does Christmas borne on ?H asked Bertie. "Wednesday," replied his Cousin Will, without raising his head from his book. "How do you Jcnow?" asked Bertie, suspiciously. "Been looking it up?" "No,* answered Will, with a smile. "I know from my birthday." "That's more mysterious than ever," rejoined Bertie. "Your birthday'was in May, and what that has to do with Christmas I don't see." "Don't you ?" queried Will, with a laugh this time. "Then Til puzzle you some more. Have you any old cal­ endars?" . Yes," answered Bertie. "I have a ok giving calendars for a hundred . >ars, beginning at 1800." • "Well, then,"said Will, "'cover up all the calendar except the month of May; let me see that, and I will tell you on what day of the week Christmas came, or will come, if it is a future year." . "You mean to count the weeks from the twenty-fifth of May?" "No; I will tsll you instantly without any calculation." ...... "You e'an't do it." "" • "Try me and see.": . / v. " , Bertie couldn't get l&e Wolc fftriek enough. The first year he tried was 1608. He carefully covered with his hands all the page except the month of May; but Will called out "Sundav!" "So it is," said Bertie, wonderingly. "I'll try you again. Here's the Tear 1723." "Christmas came on Thursday," said Will, after a single glance. Bertie tried him again and again, and Will never failed until Bertie was fairly amazed. "Tell me how you do it," he pleaded, finally. "All right," said Will, good-naturedly, "and I'll tell you what my birthday has to-do with it. You see, I was born on the first of May, and it so happens that Christmas always falls on the same day of the week as the first of May." "N.ot every year?" "Yes, sir, every year. If the first of May is Sunday, Monday, Tuesday --no matter what day--Christmas will fall on the same da v." "Sure?" " "Yes, snre." ' \ "How do you account for it?"* "I never could explain it, although I suppose there is no mystery about it." Then Bertie went over his calendar and tested it until he was tired, of course always with the same result. But he couldn't explain it. Perhaps some of our readers can solve the mystery of this curious coincidence. --Golden Days. Mark Twain's Tight Boots. I had on new shoes. They were number sevoas when I started, but were no more than fives now and still diminishing. I walked two hours in those shoes after that before we reached home. Doubtless I could have the reader's sympathy for the asking. Many people have never had the headache or the toothache, and I am one of those myself; bat everybody has worn tight shoes for two or three hours, and know the luxury of taking them off in a re­ tired place and seeing his feet swell up and obscure the firmament. Few of us will ever forget the exquisite hour we were married. Once when I was a callow, bashful; cub, I took a plain; unsentimental conn- try girl to a comedy one night. I had known her a day; she seemed divine; I wore my new boots. At the end of the first half hour she said: "Why do you fidget so with your feet? "Did I?" I said. .. ; Then lput jpy. attention theve sad kept still. At the end of another hour she said: "Why do you say, 'Yes, oh, yes,' and *Ho, ah, ho, certainly, very true!' to every thing that I say, when half the time they are entirely irrevelant an­ swers?" I blushed and explained that I been a little absent minded. At end of another half hour she said: , "Please, why do you grin so stead-, fastly at vacancy and look so sad ?" I explained that I always did when I was reflecting. An hour passed and then she turned and coii'templated me with earnest eyes and said: 'Why dq you cry all the time?" I explained that very lunny comedies always made me cry. At'last human nature surrendered, ard I secretly slipped my boots off. That was si mistake; I was not able to get tlieni on again. It was d rainy night, there were no omnibusses going our way, and as I walked lvome^ burn­ ing with shame, with the girl on one arm und my boots under the other I was an object worthy of some compassion, especially in those moments when I had to pass through the glare that fell upon the pavement from street lamps. Finally, this child of the forest said: "Where are your boots?" Being taken unprepared I put the finishing touch to the foliies of the even­ ing with the stupid remark: The higher classes do not weauc had the to the theater.: , Got There. Misa Susie Tansy--Do yon know what time it is, Hank S ton or? Hank Stoner--No, nor I dont caxe. 'Oh, you don't? Well,-it's time all little boys were at home and in & Notes ef KaicUfe.' . The hero, of one of the dramas written by . Alexander Dumas, an atheistical doctor, poisoned himself, and while dy­ ing wrote on a sheet of paper his feed­ ings and impressions of coming dissolu­ tion. A watchmaker in Paris, living in the Passage Ducliesnes, probably in­ spired 1^ this incident, has placed on record his feelings under Bimilar cir­ cumstances. He was found dead in his room, suffocated by the fumes of char­ coal, and on a blackened sheet of pa]>er clenched in his hand were the following notes: 2:15--Head heavy. I take care that no charcoal falls abont, ready to'throw mvself on my bed. 2:20--I chew a ping of tobacco. My hands are dirty, but it is too late to wash them. 2:30--Singing in my ear*. It js com­ ing. I lie down. J , 2:35--The charcoal of the dealer op­ posite is worth nothing. I suffer too much. 2:45--Headache. Three times I have renewed the charcoal. Nothing yet! 3:00-- There cannot possibly be a God. I have had enough of living like this. 3:20--f suffer beyond endurance. Here the sad story ends. Death must have released the wretched man from his sufferings within ,a Galignani'* Messenger* %H i X ain't You don't say?" "Yes, I doj smarty, and you'd better be«oing." "I'll go when J get ready. "Bass-box." "JSay, Susie."' * < " % ^ "Say it yourself while your mouitiV open." "Pshaw, now, Susie; I'to in earnest" " Well, what am I doing ?" "You know what; you know I been going with you a long time, Suse." "Pugh! what if you have ? Guess I never asked you to go with me, and-- eleven o'clock! you going to stay here all night ?" "Pshaw, Sue! you're tickled enough to have me stay, and you know it!" "A-a-a-w, Hank Stoner! As though I care whether you go or stay--pugh!" "Oh, I guess I ain't such a fool as I look. But say, Susie?" "Well say it then, you ninny! My land o' rest," I ain't . "You are, too'" ' V ^ "Tee, hee, llee, hee!" >: •4k"" "Honest Injun, now. Suse; ffo til dead earnest I ain't been your shad- der six months for nothin'." • "My shadder! La, Hank!* ' , ; "You know I ain't." "How should I know? witch." "You act like one." "You're polite, I must "I meant it as a compliment. " Smart compliment." _ *1 "link the world <uul all Susie?" ^ • ' ' "La, Hank!" , . ,v * t . "I ain't fooli#j* . , "Tee, hee, hee, hee!" "Did you ever happen to think that you and me was old and big enough to get married?" "P-o-o-h, Hank!" "We air. I ain't thougfet of much else of late." "You redickerlus thing!" "Well, I ain't. You like me purty well, don't you?" "I'd bo smart to say so if I did." "Well, you might when we're going to git married." "Who said we were going to get.mar- ried? It takes two to make a bargain, Mr. Smarty." "But you will won't you, Susie?" , * I'll think about it." "Pshaw, Susie; why can't yoii say •yes' right out?* "Oh, you're too anxious--and-^let gr my hand!" "I shan't" "You mean thincr! I've a notion to-- the idea of your putting your arm •around my waist like that, and--now, you dare to kiss me again! What if pa or ma should come in?" "Pooh! They're in bed where they'd ought to be! "Nice way to talk about my pa and ma. It's a good thing fot you"they are in bed." "Yes, I think so myself. Fd rather have 'em there than here." "Tee, hee, hee! you mean thing!" "Come, now, Susie, say yes. I love you like all possessed 1" " Aw, Hank! Take you r mouth away from my cheek--g'way 1" . "Say'yes'first." "Well--if I must--yes." "Hooray!" "Shut up! Good heavens! You want to rai.-e the dead ?" ^ "I'm so happy, Suse!" . "Well, don't go crazy if you are-- uZ.D.nin Time. . A Matter ef Labels. "Huraau nature," says a rustic philoso­ pher, "don't change a mils, from one gen­ eration to another, whenjou come right •down to facts. I "We have to say jest abont sooftfnthat j young folks ainfc what they used to be, and old folks aint what they meed to he, ! and women folks have changed, and men aint so brave and honest as they was, and childran aint children any more. ' "But it's only iu the out'ard appear­ ances that thinvo and people change; the thing itself is alius jest abont the same. "It strikes me that it's all a good deal like this everlastin* gettin' up the new kinds o soap that they hev down t' the grocery store; there's a new label on the package every 3 ear, but I guess we had about the same kind o' soap when I was a boy. "Men an' women sn* boys an* girls is jest ftbout the same that they always wa?; but bless ye, it don't do no kind o' burt to change the labels on the human^^&ckages •very few years or so!" To These Interested. Hastings, Mich., April 22,1833. Bhenmatio Syrup Co.. Jackson, Mich: Gcnts--This Is to certify that I had been troubled with rheumatism iu all its forms for the past twelve years, au<* was confined to my be J at various perkxls from three to six mcnths at a time, una I could £et abont only bv the aid of crutenes. 1 employed several first-class physicians of this city, none of whom effected a cure or gave tem­ porary relief even. About two years ago I was induced to tsgjr Hibbard s ltheumatic Syrup, and, after tAking a few bottles I experienced relief, and now consider myself cured. I unhesi­ tatingly recommend this medicine for rheumatism. I know what, it has done for me. what physicians could not do, L e., eured mo of rheumatism. ' > ' M r.s. H. J. KsHFtKlJx Ask your druargtst Tor it Xpertify to the above statement. Fbbd L. Heath. Druggist, Depend Upon the Doctors. . Whe the present Free Baptist Chttreh Was building in Gardiner, Elder John Stephens, with no loss of dignity, as­ sisted the workmen in laying the foundation. One day while digging with his brethren in the trench he was approached by a well-known physician, who remarked: "When your house is .finished, parson, you may possibly be bothered to fill it; though I suppose you preachers can get folks into the ciiurch easier than you can get them into Heaven." "Yes," said Elder John, pausing in his labor, "the clergy can only point the way to Heaven; when it comes to get­ ting people there they're obliged to fall back on the doctors."--Lewiston Jour- nai. • • • A Good Business Investment. Land Owner--What! you a real es­ tate dealer and contribute to the Anti- Poverty Society! It's directly contrary to your interests." Real Estate Man--Not at all, my dear sir. That is a very superficial view to take of it. Don't you notice how the Anti-Poverty men are always calling attention to the enormous profits made out of land ? Land Owner--Yes, and denouncing you and the rest of us as a set of stacks. Real Estate Man--That's all right. That makes the public all the more anxions to get hold of the land, so they can share in the plunder. Then they eome and buy. See ? Bright Future Assured. Fond Mother (wearily)--I don't know . what to do with my boy, he's so sot in his ways. Old Friend--Won't he listen to rea­ son? , "No; won't listen to anything. When he takes a notion,right er wrong,the hull earth can't niov him. "Well, don't despair. Get a place for him on a newspaper, and in time he may become a great leader of independ­ ent journalism.--Neiv York Uetkly. lie Carried a Sword. Blaster (to an opponent with whom he had been holdiug an angry discus­ sion)--Bo careful of your language to me, sir! .Opponent--What for? Bluster---I hold to the code. Re­ member, I carried a sworil daring the war..- . Very Plain. "Hans, you got punished to-day; what for?" "Because, papa, Edward Lang had been fighting." "And with whom had Edward been fighting V" " With me, papa."--Fliegende Blat­ ter. A Man who beats the gong at a tail- way eating-station make3 a big noise in the world, but he does not get there. Some other fellow eats the dinner. He simply makes the din. " The great difficulty about advice is the predominance of quantity over quality-- Merchant Traveler. Tin: more people become wrapped v\ Hanfoek's Neglected Grave. The pilgrim who journeys to the Mont­ gomery Cemetery, at Norristown, to do reverence to the" tomb of Gen. Hancock is not apt t o bear away with liim the moBt agreeable impression. If lie be a stran­ ger he enters the little city of the dead with exalted ideas of a towering monu­ ment or imposing mausoleum, erected over the soldier's remains. He will carry a picture of a deserted and neglected vault in a solitary corner of the grave­ yard, with not a word or a token or a bit of marble to tell that a national hero lies entombed thereiu. Only a few months»before his death Gen. 'Hancock chose his own resting place. It was in the eastern corner of the cemetery, far removed from all other graves, c.nd directly beside the grim and gloomy receiving vault. When he died he was laid to re^t amid great pomp and ceremony. A monument was immediate­ ly proposed, and the subst ription list started t he rounds. The mound surround­ ing the vault was well sodded, and the sorroundings made neat and attractive. Now, however, the place presents a shab­ by appearance. The grass has ceased to grow within a foot of the road-bed, thus exposing a long strip of bqp-e earth,above which the sod is ragged and unkempt. The general air of neglect makes the he­ ro's grave a picture of desolation. Perfectly Flemlisli.' ' To be assaulted by the three imps, dyspepsia, constipation and liver ootuplaint--a trio of aatauic birth--is perfectly fiendish. This often happens. The hateful three, however, soon whisk away to the nether inferno when Hos- tetter's Stomach Bitters Is employed to evict them. As a stomachic and alterative of dis­ ordered conditions of the bowels and liver, It is •peaking within bounds to say that there is not in asistence a medicine so widely known as this, and few indeed which have received such posi­ tive and authoritative sanction from the medi­ cal fraternity. The fact that it promptly re­ lieves, then extirpates, the three maladies of most common occurreucs. ought and does make it the most popular of family medicines. But, iu addition to that, it has' achieved tbe fore­ most reputation as a preventive of and remedy tor ciiiliH aud fever, rheutna.ism, nervous and kidney trouble. , Cheap Lodgings. In all our large cities, cheap lodging honses have a tendency to fo«ter crime. Instead of bein^ places where respect­ able people, reduced iu circumstances or temporarily short of money, can secure S clean bed for a small amount of money, they have come to be very largely fre­ quented by thieves and other criminals of the lowest class, who lodge in these resorts regularly, and here consort to­ gether and lay their plans for crimes of one sort or another. But this is not the worst feature of the matter. Take the case of a young man who runs away from his home in the country, or for any reason finds himself stranded in the great city. In searching for a cheap plaee to lodge in he naturally <Jrifts into one of these lodging houses, and it is almost inevitable that association with the peo­ ple who make these places their head­ quarters will corrupt him. in nine cases out of ten--I am quite confident that this proportion is not too lari;e-- he turns out a thief or a burglar, if, indeed, he does not sooner or later became r murderer. Hundreds of instances of this kind occur every year. There is more Catarrh in this section of the country than all qther diseases put together, and until the last few years was supposed to Le incurable. For a t,T?at many yo.r« Doctora pronounced it a local disease, and prescribed local remedies, aud by constantly failing to cure with local treatment, pronounced it incurable Science has proven catarrh to be a constitutional disease, and therefore requires cor.siitutiona treatment. Hall's CutarihCuie. manufactured by K. J. ( heney A Co., Toledo. Ohio, ia tho only >ensututional cure on he market, it is taken internally in doses lrom 10 <!roi>n to a tea spoon­ ful. It nets directly upon the blood and iiiucun surface of tlie system. Tbev oler one hundred dollars for any case it fuiis to cure. 8*nd for circnlitrs and tentlnionials. Address F. J. CHKNKY & CO., Toledo, O. JtVSiold by Drug­ gists, 75c. No Sailer. Many a landsman on board ship has been ready to Bay that if lie were only once more on shore he would never leave it. Such seems to have been the feeling of a dog, of which we read in tho "His­ tory of 'i horaaston, Maine." .Captain Norton, of Gushing had a favoiite dog, which he took with him on a voyage to Wilmington. N. C. No sooner were they at sea than, from sea­ sickness or some other cause, tne creature beoam uneasy, and remained inconsol­ able through the whole voyage. Soon after the vessel arrived at "Wil­ mington the dog was missed, and noth­ ing more was seen of him. un getting back to Gushing, however, the captain found the dog at home safe and sound. He had arrived there in just fourteen'days from the time of his land­ ing ut Wilmington. • How he had made his way--whether across or around inlets and bays, passing circnitously along the coast, or, by the regular traveled road--^nobody could te'l, and he, of course, could not communi­ cate. One thing was clear, he had had enough of salt water. Bad way'• Beady Relief. Of all the patent medicines that have sprune: into life during the last half century, none has stood the test of time better than "Badway's Ready Belief," the great con­ queror of pain. To sailors at sea. frontiersmen on the plains, farmers and families generally, there is no tiuer friend. In all cases of sprnins, bruises, backache, pain in chest and sides, headache, or any otner external pain. Badwav's Heady Be­ lief is an infallible remedy. Give it a trial and vou will find that it performs^ail that is required of it. The Widow Was Training. There was a combination of wholesale and retail business in her eye aa she en­ tered the office of a Harlem dentist inquired: "Can you pull six teeth lor me right off?" "Have yon come prepared?* he asked in reply. "Why, I'm here, aint I?" "But do j on wish to take laughing gas or ether?" "No, air! I'll sit in the chair, and yon clinch on and pull.'* "Very well, ma'am." She removed her bonnet, took her place in the chair, and he pulled sfx front teeth without bringing a Rroan." "How soon can I get a plate?" she asked, as she got out of the chair. "In about six weeks, ma'am--a perma­ nent plate." "All li^ht--go ahead. Is there doctor near?" "One two blocks down." "I want seven corns and two warts taken oft Good shoemaker handy?" "Next door, ma'am." "I toe in. I want a pair of shoes made to force me to toe out for a while. Drug store dowq tho street?" "One block down." "I want something to take these freckles off. -Six teeth at fifty cents each is f3. Here's your chango." "Ma'am, excuse md if I nek if you are meditating a trip to Europe?" queried the dentist as she was ready to go. "No, sir; I'm a widow from Indiana. Live live miles above. Struck a man who wants to be my second husband, and we are to be married in two months. I m going into training you see--good-day!" ---Yttc 1'ork Sun. <, Ton may sing of the V^auty of springtime t That glows on the cheek'of the young. K.J'- Bnt I sing of a beauty that's rarer Whan auy of which"you have sun$. 4 ' L The beauty that's seen in tho faces ;•> -k- Of women whose summer is o'er, i*.' J • : The autumn-like beauty that charms QS Far more than the beauty of yore. But this beauty is seen too rarely. The faces of most women lose tho beauty of youth too soon. Female disorders are like frosts which come to nip the flowers which betoken good health, without which there can be no real beauty. If our American women would fortify themselves a&aius* tho approach of the terriblo disorders so prevalent among them, by using Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription, their good looks would be retained to a "fsweet old age." This remedy is a guaranteed, cure for all the distressing weaknesses and derangements peculiar to women. Dr. Piebce's Pellets, one a dose. Cure headache, constipation and indigestion. , t _ Giirtsf .RaMFnYAHDTERMAjfEKriy RHGIJMATISH. * For 30 Years. Pilot Knob, Mo . September S, 1888. I suffered with chronic rheumatism in Iby knees and ankles for twenty years and had to Use crutches. 1 was treated at times by several doctor*, but was finally cured by St. Jacobs Oil. Have had no return of pain in three yea«. . HENRY P. TRAVEB8. At Dkcgoists «sd Dimmers. IHtCHMlES*. V06EIER CO.. Bafttoen.M. Oman*, mej*tion tm rifft OPIUM MSHTIQW TtU» PAI •mm this mi The oaly and mat cure. 1 Stenhen*, Wanted to L^ani __ 8*mation* fnraiwhi AUtNTisE J*: PAI*fclt vim« !&zS3bss: VHVU1U *Uhl ^ °e" MENTION THIS PAPER « •Sore retisf saMMa Price SSctsJSnUb matL EUiiunaCSb Ifm«Mtiw Msio* slliiel 3eUy, tmt WMhlsgfss, D.C. unp MOISBY MFC MENTION TH2S fAKR Kossuth for a number of years gave lessons in the Euglish binfcuage to the yonng men at Turin, wherehe has resided for thirty years. Old us he is, these pu­ pils are now clamoring for h»m to be­ come a naturalize i subject in order to be elected a senator of the kingdom, but he yxatars to remain a linn.^g^s( * _ - - • , ' ,'.V| » f. • Makeshow and Doinuch. Mr£ Makeshow--My dear Mrs. ITo- mucb, I am collecting clothing for Mrs. Black, who is in ^reafe distress. She has four Bt«all children, and I am told is quite deserving. Mrs. Domuch, going to her drawer brings ont several neatly laundered gar* ments and presents them. Mrs. Makeshow--Dear me, yon do not mean to give such garments as those, do yon? Why, they are real good and almost new. Haven't yon something that is of no use?--Time. A II.SO Paper f€r ai.75. Tma Youth's Companion gives so much tw the small amount that it costs It Is no wonder it is taken already in nearly Half a Million Families. With its iln» paper And beautiful illustrations, its Weekly Illustrat­ ed Supplements, and its Double Holiday Numbers, it seems as if the publishers could not do enough to please. By pending $1.75 now you may obtain it fi?ee to January, and ror a full vear from Chat date to January, 1891. Address The Youth's Companion, Boston, Mass. Scene, inn: Prince Hal (angrily)--Go off, pistol; so off 1 Pistol--Thanks, yoar Highness. I'm glad to be discharged. (Claps cap on- his head.) Prince--Off with your cap, r^gue. Where's your mnn- ners? Falsi aft'--Pardon, most merry Prince, but how can a pistol go off with­ out a cup? (Prince Hal faints; Pistol ex­ plodes K. U. E.) Curtain--slow music.-- Philadelphia Pretut. How to Gain FJesh and Strength. Ufee after each meal Scott's Emulsion; it is as pnlutuble as milk. Delicate people im­ prove rapidly upou its use. For Consump­ tion. Throat affections and Bronchitis it is unequalea. Dr. Thos. Prim, Ala., says: "I used Scott's Emulsion on a child eight months old; ho gained four pounds in a month." Iron is rolled so thin at the Pittsburg iron mills that 12,000 sheets are required to make a single ihch in thickness. Light shines through one of these sheets as readily, as it does through greased tissue paper. • Would Yon Believe ' . The Proprietor of Kemp's Balstito Thousands of Bottles away yearly? This mode ot advertising would prove ruinous if the Balsam was not a perfect cure for Coughs aud all Throat and Lung troubles. You will see the excellent efTect after taking the llrst dose. Don't hesitate! Procure a bottle to-day to keep in your home or room for immediate or future use. Trial bottle free at all druggists'. Large size 50e and.fl ;T > A BaIiTIMObe man has been convicted of stealing a lot of pold-filled teeth from the museum of tbe University. Hlbbard's Rheumatic and Liver Pills. These Pills are scientifically compounded, uniform in uction. No griping puln so com­ monly following the use of pills. They aro adapted to both adults and children with perfect safety. We guarantee they have no equal in-the cure of i>wk Headache. Con­ stipation. Dyt-pepsia. Biliousness; and. aa an appetizer, they excel any other prepara­ tion. » It is probable tbat Chinese as well as other politicians go off on junketing t̂ urt.--Home Stnlinel. Deserving ol* Conli<Ie«ic©.--'There is no article which so ric'ily deserves the entire cnufilence of tho c immunity ai BbOwh'h Bbonchial, Tbochss. Tho«e nufferin,' from Asthmatic aud Bronchial Di-waies, Coughs, and Coldi should try them. Price cents. Women give most free rein to their thoughts wben they write anonymously. --Milwaukee Journal. Why rub. and toil, and wear out yourself and your clothes on washday, when, ever binee 1804, Dobbins' Electric Soap has been offered on purpose to lighten your labor. Now try it. Your grocer has it. Tank plays are popular for divers rea- •ons.--Peck's Bun. Oregon, the Para<tiHe of Farmer*. Mild, equable climate, certain and abunriagit crape. Best fruit, Kraiu, grass, and Htock coan- try in the world. Full information free. Address tlie Oregon Immigration Board.Portland, Oregon. Bronchitis la cured by frequent small doses of Piso's Cure for Consumption. Amkbica's finest. "Tansill's Punch" Cigar. Rheumatism According to recent investigations i« caused by CCBH of lactic acid in the blood. This acid attacks tbe fibrous tissues, particularly in tbe joints, and causes the local manifestations of the disea'e, pains and aches in tbe back and shoulders, and in the joints at the knees, ankles, hips and wrists. Thou­ sands of people have found in Hood's t-arsaparilla a positive and permanent cure for tjieumatism. This medicine, by its purifying and vitalizing action, neutralizes the acidity of the blood, and also builds up and strengthens the whole body. ' "I was laid up for six months with rheumatism, and used many kinds pf medicines without good result till one ot my neighbors told me to take Hood's Hareaparilla. When I had nsed half a bottle I fplt better, and aftej taking two bottles I think I was entirely cured, as 1 have not had an attack of rheumatism since." Evasss H. Dixon, ItobBviUe, Staten Island, N.Y. f S. B. Be t>ure to get ; ONE knjoysi Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant and refreshing to the teste, and acts gently yet promptly on the Kidneys, • Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys- teita effectually, dispels colds, head- 7 aches and fevers and eures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is the only remedy of Its kind ever pro­ duced, pleasing to the taste ana ac­ ceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities com­ mend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup or Figs is for sale in 60c and $1 bottles by all leading-drug­ gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro­ cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. 8AM FSAH0JSC0, CAL, LOUmtUE. KY. MEW YORK, f.f. 'S UfcMTiON THIS FAfKat i|e? in T*lf L Pans! > ;; wotb*, m. b. 1 town. fa..wrRa; **I hav Asthma for ycurf, . relief s,-!!,! UriM}r<MurS9MI> 0e. w"i-n rf'irv.. rnw fanm*. diately." Sold by ali Drajr- grists. $1 per box,by mail, port paid. TRU!, PACKAGE FEES. Address, T. POPHAM. FBK*dku*U, FSMl GRATEFUL-COMFORTING. EPPS'S COCOA BREAKFAST. "By afhorowrh of tbe nfUreal law* which pov. rn tho ( jwratii-us cf di>;<\=t;ori and nutri­ tion, and by a careful application of tin- lincproper- tlen of wi'll-selivtod tYooa. Mr. Fr!"* ban j>rov.d«l our breakfast tables with a delicately ilavnurnt t»»- eragt' v liU li may save us many lwc.vy ilertt n>" bill*. It in by the jn'ici'Mis \iho of smh articJe* of diet tbat a constitution may tip K' admlly bui.t up until atroaff enoujfh to rrs ot every tendency to diwaafc Htm- dmdsof subtle maladies an floating aroirinlw Hiaitf to attack wheiever there is a we k point. We mar •ecape manv a fatal t-haft by kcvpitixour elves weu fortiticd with pure Mood aud a properly nouriabed frame." -Civil S- rvive Gazcftt. Made simply with boilisitr water or milk. 8cU only in half round iin«, by Orocets. Sallied thus: JAMES Kl'Ji'?" A < O., Homu oi atliio CbtaM^ London, England. WEBSTER WEBiTEm tJBMKt OKTim READY REIIEF. THE GREAT CONQUEROR OF PAIN. For Sprains, linsisw, Backache, Pain in t!i« Clicst, or Sides, He;ulache, Toothache, or any oilier external i*aln, alow application* rubbed on l>y hand act like manlc,citniinK the pain to tnHfiuitly slop. For CoiiKestlonii, Cold*, Urouchttls, l*neu- j monia, IntiaitimationM. Kl>eumatt*m. Neural- Kiit, .Sciatica, more thorough mhI i repeated upplhMtioiiM are necessary. j All Internal 1'uliis Diurrhea, C'olle, Spa^iua, Kausea, FaintiiiK Spells, Nervousness, .Sleeps, lessnesK are relieved liiHlantly, anil quickly cured by taking inwardly ai) to 60 drops in Hair a tumbler of water. 30c. m bottle. A)) DruiCKlato. _ DAD WAY'S n pii 11 BEST HOLIDAY CIFT folr Fagtor, Parent, Teacher, (l^Wead. SOOO more "Words and nearly 2000 more Engravings tlian any other American I>icttonary> It la an invaluiible companion in every School • and at every Fireside. GET THE BEST. Bold by all Booksellers. Illustrated PfttnpbM with s|>ecimcn jinccs, etc.. sent free. > «u*C MER»1AM ACQ., rab'r^Sprlngfleld.Mawfc PILLS, An excellent and ml Id Cathartic. Purely Vegetable. The Safest and ltent Meilleln* 111 the world for the Cure of all Disorders of the LIVER, STOMACH OB BOWELS. Taken according to direction* they will restore health aud rouew vitality. Price 25 eta. a Box. bold by all Draggiata ' You r Newsdealer for THE CHICAGO USIXjKK, the Bcmt Stoby Pirn > in the country. Read it. J >i • •%» ^ Paper Envelopes, Cardboard, File Book anf Wrffing Papers, Cover Pipers, linen and Manila Papers, Letter Reads, Note Heads, Bill Heads, State- - J 'nents and Ruled Papers i ZOXillSAZill By the CASE or CAR LOAD. For Samples and Prices addreas CHICAGO NEWSPAPER UNION,. 271 A 278 Franklin St.. Chicago* . ^ - n i # PECRB*. TELLS "Later nnto Amicola Came a pale face preacher, temskfaf Peace and progress to ity native*, : Wooed and won he Uanita. ; * '1 She, nobler to make hie calling, W h i s p e r e d t o M m n a t u r e ' s s e c r t $ • Told him of the herbs so potent ft - For,the healing and the saving)* --BxrmacT raoM rout or tMtu." I?-?* . ; ^ Treat!le onBloo^ana^kin DiHpaKt's ntiiilecl fr.'e. t. Aa Editor's Eacpcrlaneau ' Major Sidney Herbert, a we!l-fciio«n journalist t» y-"i airrtcultural circles, writes Aprii 18tli, USB: Some five years ago I wrote a letter .statin* Uiat'Swtffa Specific liad cured me of ue^-er* rlicruniatisaB. Siac* •'} that time 1 have bad no return of tite rheuaiatio troubles, although frequently exposed to the iafla- enceK that iirodui-ed former attacks. Several ol my " , : friends bad a similar experience, and are fine la their conviction that 8. S. 8. bronifht a permaaaafe cure. The Bearchius power ot this mediciite ' shown in the fact thai it developed a tcttioloaa taint that was conspicuous in uiy blood over thirty years ago. aud has removed the last trace of it. S have *l*o tested S. 8. S. as a tonic after a *«»»»» • attack of malarial tever. whicli kept me in bed tev < three months, and am convinced that its curative : ?-"-: and streugtheniD* proi>ertie8 insured uiy recovery vyt front UuU i lliiftiij, ais I in a very low i oii(1it,mn>t health. Swift srFrtrtr ('hmcanv. I>rawer 3. Atlanta.GljC PISO'S REMEDY FOR CATARRH.--Best Easiest to use. Cheapest. Relief is immediate. A cure is certain. For Cold in the Head it has no e^nai. It is an Ointment, of which a small particle is applied to the nostrils. Price, 50c. Sold by druggists or senr by mail. Address, E. T. IIazki-tim:, « arren, l1*. Hood's Sarsaparilia Sold by all drwtgUta. |l; six for ts." Prepared only by C. 1. HOOD & tj). Lowell, Maaa. , IOO Doses One DoRar • This Trade Mark is on Be M faterproof Coat in the world. A.J.Tower,Botoo. JONES, HE PAYS THE FREIGHT. S-TON WACOM SCALES, $80 ESAM ECS • 2iA33TA2S BEi Frcttrht Paid. Warraiiteii f or 6 Ye A«eou Waated. Penil for Teraaa. F A R M E R S * Bam and Warelmuae Bealea. /ONES OF BIMGHAMTQN. Binghamton.H. Y, |W| EP Iwi ihimahiMiarf •Wi Mm Mti, rumb'netl w!0i S^reaf Re««lW m ffcr ijch and Lir:* »#»i Ivu* tXirru AMOS l.ORD, Drawer C, Chicago,IIU I rtrcJcnbc arv.? r-« Bit; it as th» only Be ffirtlic certain Oll» this disease, U. 1NGRAHAM,*. O, :: Auistt tdson, K. Y. We have sold Big © for ; many year*, and t» ba»^i tbo bast of Mahf i FILIXKN"DTCH E St CO., rt.ieag% lit. : Si.OO. Uru<cMk Krae» f.N. r. WHiriXO TO.AUl ulrtsr «ajr )«a «a« lit 1b tliiM <•-