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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 21 May 1890, p. 7

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VttTx " **5*1 £ ' " j " P l M C r r*lA4'+t mC^- -r^ ^S^Sr Izymp, X$E BCRNHAM ISDliSTJUiL FAftX. A Host OMtal Institution. Those who have read of the vprelbefore him, and several artist's proofs of steel engraving of himself, made from a daguerreotype taken soon Ratthe j after his graduation. "Hans at Horn, near Hamburg, Ger- j "General, this looks as you did the fitany, that remarkable and unique in- | first time I ever saw you," said Fry •titntion of Immanuel Wichern. will "It was when von made the crrMt inmi Wichern, will recognize in it the prototype of that lit­ tle industrial community which more thftn two years &&o wgy? estiblishsd it* Columbia County, Kew York, tinder the same: The Burnham Industrial Farm. ^ The two are alike in purpose, in spirit, and in the methods of train­ ing employed. Wicliern's experiment is, however, widely known, and its suc­ cess has been demonstrated in its benif- icent results, while Burnham Farm is yet in its infancy, unknown even to many of the good people of our own State. The Burnham Industrial Farm was organized to save boys who are tend­ ing toward the criminal classes. The lack of proper classification or facilities therefor in the reformatory institutions of the State, forcing the boys committed who have not yet become depraved or incorrigible into the companionship of those in whom criminal habits are fully developed, was the condition which was strongest in urging the establishment of a home like this, far removed from the city, on a large farm in healthful surroundings where these truant or va­ grant boys not yet incorrigible might be sent, might lr-e under good influ­ ences, and have opportunity for the training of hand and mind. The farm, formerly an old Shaker settlement, comprises 580 acres of land, under a fairly good state of cultivation, in a "region of pure air and lovely fields and forests." Lake Queechy bounds it on one side and the mountains look down upon it. The farm is organized on the family plan. The cottages left by the Shakers nave become the home of each of a group of boys. The system of awards and punishments is that of Mettray. There is a depaatment of manual train­ ing for the boys, where those showing special aptness are taught full trades arid others prepared to enter trades us advanced apprentices. Some will be taught la,rming, some gardening, and all, that labor is ennobling. The disci­ pline is firm, yet kind, and each boy has some one who is interested in him individually. There ire no Avails about the farm; everything is free and open. Yet the boys who go there wicked, vul­ gar, petty thieves perhaps, li^rs, swear­ ers, truants, stay there, lead clean lives and learn to be honest, pure, and upright. Though established less than three years ago there are already good results to be seen. Fifty-two boys hg.ve been at the farm, and of those mor^ than twenty have been sent back to their parents or to places found for them, "It was when you made'the great jnmf in the riding exercises at your gradua tion." "Yes," whispered Grant, remem ber that very well. York was a won­ derful horse. I could feel hira gather ing under me for the effort as he ap­ proached the bar. Have you keara any­ thing lately of Hershberger?' "No, never since I left West Point years ago." "Oh," said the General, "i have heard of him since the war. He was in Car lisle, old and poor, and I sent him a check for fiftv dollars." to The Woodcock's Soi I have taken considerable watch them at sunset to learn, if pos­ sible, if they did have a song or note which I was not sure of before. I am now sure they have a note; and to my surprise it is a very fine one. I hardly know which of our song birds to com­ pare it with, but think it very much like the catbird's or brown thrasher's, If any one ever took notice of those birds' songs about the time they end up their song, they make a very line war­ ble or water note, something like a canary, but not quite as fine. I have watched and listeued to the woodcock for a number of evenings, and have been much pleased by their queer actions. They begin sharp at sunset and seem to keep it up until day­ light. This, I suppose, accounts for us never starting the cock bird through the day, as it.seems to be the cock bird that does the flying and singing by night. His spiral ascent is not as straight upaa it has been represented. He will leave the ground and fly in a circle of ten or fifteen acres, making the circle smaller each turn, until he reaches a height of some two hundred feet, all the time making a very uneven twitter with both bill and wings. Then, when the descent begins, he begins his warbling, -which, I must confess, is more than I ever be­ lieved of him, although I have watched the birds many times, and his song , is very sweet. After reaching the ground, which is always on a smooth place clear of grass or brush, he sits still for a few seconds, then begins to cry spate or fikape, I hardly know how to describe it. It is very much like snipe, only much lotider, and it is not strange to hear five or six at a time from the house through the evening arid up to midnight, in fact until daylight. Every time he makes the cry spate or*shape, just before it he makes a clucking sound, like a man hiccoughing, or something like a cuckoo, only muoli lower. I watched one last evening, in company with Mr. cured of bad tendencies, to lead upright A. B. Simonds, and it lighted within and honest lives. Indeed its capacity for good seems limited only by its means. Boys are pressing to the gates who cannot be admitted. We have spoken of the efficacy of preventive philanthropy. Is there a better oppor­ tunity to employ it than here, to dimin­ ish the number of the criminal classes, to save boys who have no hand power­ ful enough, no heart strong enough to help them ? And from another stand­ point, is {here a more profitable invest­ ment for society? The "yearly average expense from one criminal would fur­ nish sufficient funds to rescue and train . many boys. A feature of the institution which in­ vites special notice is the Brotherhood of Institutional Workers now in process of organization. Jt is intended that the Burnham Farm in America, as the JRauhe Haus in Germany, shall become a training school for those who wish to enter upon institutional work in its dif­ ferent phases. Applicants who seem fitted for the work and who are willing to endure the sacrifice and hardships which the work demands and imposes, are admitted on a probation of six months after which they enter into full fellowship for a term of three years, "taking upon themselves a sacred pledge Of obedience, simplicity Of life, and to make Christian work in the line of in­ stitutional service the aim of their lives." At the end of this term of years, if qual- ' ified, they will be sent out to institu­ tions calling for them as trained at­ tendants, institutional managers, book­ keepers, carpenters, clerks, gardeners, <&o. The Brotherhood is nobly planned. There is no asceticism, but a true hu­ manitarian, a Christian spirit. Those acquainted with the need not only for trained but kind, patient, willing, trust­ worthy attendants in charitable and cor- rectionable institutions, will wish that it may be successfully established and carried on, ar?d that the principle un­ derlying it may have a wider observance. ->-Siate Charities Record. ten feet of me once, so I had a good chance to note its actions and hear th« sound produced before it made its cry. --Forrest and Stream. r ,<v Grant's Great Jump. '#'..fJadet Grant did not graduate from West Point "with the highest praise" of his instructors, but some of his class­ mates thought him the strongest man, intellectually, in the class. "Well, sir," said one of them, James A. Hardie, to an instructor, "if a great emergency arises in this country during our life­ time, Grant will be the man to meet it." An incident, related by General Fry Ancient Feet. A noticeable thing about the statues found in our museums of art, supposed to represent the perfect figures of an­ cient men and women, is the apparently disproportionate size of their feet. We moderns are apt to pronounce them too large, particularly those of the females. It will be found, however, that for sym­ metrical perfection these feet could not be better. A Greek sculptor would not think of such a thing as putting a nine inch foot on a five-atid-one-half-foot woman. Their types for these classical marble figures were taken from the most perfect forms of living persons. Unquestionably the human foot, as rep­ resented by those old sculptors, was larger than the modern one, and, in fact, the primitive foot of all people of whom'we have any record, either' in printiug or statuary, was considerably larger than the restricted foot of mod­ ern times. The masculine foot, forming an approximate average of four differ­ ent countries, was about twelve inches long. This would require at least a No. 12 or 12£ shoe to cover it comfortably. The average masculine foot to-day is easily fitted with a No. 8 J shoe, and is, therefore, not above ten and seven-six­ teenths of an inch. Now, by the old scriptural rule of proportion, a man five feet nine inches in higlit should have a foot eleven and one-half inches long, or one-sixth his hight. It was of no great consequence what size sandal he wore, but he would have required a modern shoe of at least a No. 101 for a medium fit or a No. 11 for . real comfort. For women, allowing for the difference in the relative size of the two sexes, which was about the same then as now, a woman of five feet three inches in hight would have had a foot -ten inches long requiring a modern shoe--it ought to be spoken only in a whisper--No. 6 as the most comfortable for that foot or a No. 5£ as the limit of torture. The reason for the difference between the old classical foot and the modern one is obvious. Restriction is what has done. --Shoe and Leather Reporter. First Impulse of an Excited Yonng Mother. A young mother was rushing about wildly, looking for her lost baby. She had left the intant out on the sidewalk that one man among the instructors, the riding-master, believed in Cadet Grant's ability to do great things. In June, 1843, Fry, a candidate for admission to West Point, wandered into the riding-hall, where the members of the graduating class were going through their final mounted exercises before the Superintendent of the Academy and a large assembly of spectators. The reg­ ular exercises having been finished, the class, still mounted and formed in line through the center of the hall, waited for the word of dismissal. But "old Hershberger," the riding- master, wished to exhibit to the assem­ bly a deed of daring, self-reliant horse­ manship. He placed the leaping bar higher than a man's head, and called out, "Cadet Grant!" "A clean-faced, slender, blue-eyed young fellow, weighing about one hun­ dred and twenty pounds, dashed from the ranks on a powerfully built chest­ nut^ horse, and galloped down the op­ posite side of the hall. As he turned at the farther end and came into the straight stretch across which the bar was placed, the horse increased his pace, and, measuring his strides for the great leap before him, bounded into the air and cleared the bar carrying his Tider as if man and beast had been welded together. The spectators were breathless! " 'Very well done, sir!' growled the riding-master, and the class was dis­ missed." In 1886, forty-two Vears after this gal­ lant leap and Bardie's prediction, Gen­ eral Fry was in General Grant's room in New York City. The hand of death was upon him and he was almost voice­ less. Sheets of his forthcoming book in his "Military Miscellanies," shows frout of a prominent dry goods store and when Bhe went out again it had dis­ appeared. "It was in the baby cab," she explain­ ed, "and I often leave it out that way and nothing ever happened to it be­ fore." "I think likely," said a man who had stopped to see the excitement, "that you will find it in the hands of the Hu­ mane Society. Fm sure that's where it ought to be," he grumbled as he walked off. , Meanwhile a young saleswoman in the dry goods store was sitting cosily in one of the offices, chuckling a strange baby under the chin to make it laugh. "Darling itsy sing, did its naughty muzzer gooff and leave it all loner toky?" The young woman had just made ths lucid address when another clerk hur­ ried into the office. "Whose baby is that?* "1 don't know." "Its mother is in hysterics! I'm sure that's her baby. Is this the cab? Do let her have it." They wheeled the perambulator out into the store and as soon as the young mother saw it she made a rush at the baby took it from the cab, turned its pillow over and drew out a pocketbook concealed there. "Thank goodness it's sfcfe, she said gratefully. AN exchange speaks of a "new tobacco scenter." Ah old tobacco scenter is the man who smokes a vile cigar in the parlor.--Norristown Her­ ald. WHAT are fcfew years of oall sorrow and what men d burden beaming to an eteraity of blessedness? Evolution of the Jeke. "Let me illustrate for your benefit the evolution of the chestnut, or 'The Rise and Fall of the Comic Skit," re­ marked the Hon. Erastus Gurley, lighting a post-prandial cigar at the Merchants'. The many satellites of the eminent statesman immediately scram­ bled for chairs in his vicinity. "How often we hear the question 'Who fakes up the comic gags we «ee in the newspapers?'" continued the politico-philosopher. "Well, I can as­ sure you that one comic--originally comic--idea is made to cover a good deal of ground nowadays. It is hashed and rehashed by hundreds of cheap humorists all over the country. The same idea reappears in a dozen dis­ guises, and it plays many parts on the journalistic stage. Take an example; 'The Ycnkers Statesman says: " 'The man wh» is willing to take things as they come finds usually that they never come." "This skit you perceive, contains a conceit which attracts attention. Bones, hired humorist of "The Wigville Wall,' sees it and, presto, the succeeding issue of 'The Wall' contains the following: " 'Nibsey--Cheer up, ole chappie; take things as they come. " 'Nobsey--Yes, but things don't come.' "Masquerading this time you see as a colloquy. "Tambo, hired humorist of the •Yellingville Yelp,* sees the last version; has not seen the original, and he tries his prentice hand on transposition of the scale. 'The Yelp' soon after con­ tains the following: " 'Some raen decide it is best to take things as they come, and die just before the thing comes.' "Slight variation, you see; almost imperceptible. "Paintpot, comic artist of 'Snicker's Weekly,' sees Tambo's effort, and sits down and draws a comic sketch, which appears soon, showing a big sign blown from its moornings, and about to strike a man in the back of the head, the man meanwhile explaining to a friend: " 'I'm the coolest man you ever saw in your life; I always take things as they come.' "Young Pegasus, humorist of 'The Tickleville Te-He,' is of a poetical cast. He sees the comic picture and his muse yearns with a big yearn to tackle it. It does so. The next issue of 'The Te- He' is brightened with this jeu d'esprit: * 'The man who takes tilings ensy; Who takes things as tbey come, Will find when old im<i wheezv, That, things avoid his home. •'A man must up «-)<3 rustle ; Must, innke tbiugR spin and hum; then in life's lioree tilsnle, j^,,-He'll things as they go ma/ ... "This settles it. The chestnut is now fullgrown and ready for ten years' service in the press. It's a great, a grotesque, a purely American snap, and one which, so far, has evaded the notice oX.MasO'RelL" "Rats" Th* Plumber's Of course, if you have seen Hovt's "Tin Soldier" you remember "Rats." Well, our plumber's boy was "Rats" to the letter--the same torn hat and ragged clothes, the same happy-go- lucky disregard of property--in short, the true vandal Bpirit. He knew his business, too, for he kept us in a chronic state of unrepair, and so had what was almost a permanent job. His name we .never knew; his boss called him "Boy"; to us he was simply "llats." One evening just at dusk "Rats" was putting the finishing touches on some work he was doing in the library. I sat in the back parlor with the gas unlit, and Kittie was playing upon the piano; and in the gathering gloom I could but notice thai; tattered "Rats" was a picturesque object as he bent over his little furnance, now in relief, now in shadow, now with the ruddy glow upon his brown face. Kittie played on and on--gay gallops, dreamy waltzes, bits of ballad tunes, lullabies. The strokes of "Rats'" ham­ mer grew fainter until finally they stopped altogether. Kittie began singing very softly: "Hush my babe, lie still and slumber, Holy angels guard thy bed." I looked through the portiere at "Rats." Totally unconscious of my presence, he was whistling under his breath an accompaniment to the sweet old air. "Heavenly blessings without number, Gently falling on tby bead," sang Kittie and a great tear rolled down "Rats'" cheek, then splash! it dropped with a sizzle on tiie hot soldering iron. The quick sizz roused him. Rat-a-tat-tat--bang! went his ham­ mer; crash came Kittie's hands down upon the keys. The spell was broken! I lit the gas. "Rats" was humming "I Owe Ten Dollars to O'Grady," and the light shone brightly upon his face. Had it been all my fancy ? No, there was a white streak down his sooty cheek, and somehow I was glad to see it.--Chicago Tribune. She was Learning to Talk English. A lady, who keeps a domestic, was about to enter her kitchen one even­ ing when she heard voices. She was surprised, as the girl never had com­ pany, a fact which Bhe had often commented upon. "She bring more clothes by me every Monday when my wash be most done," complained the girl. "What for you then stay mit her?" asked another voice. "I like not to go more place than so many Ihaf been," answered the first speaker. "Her have the two goot chil­ dren. I mit them stay." "You t'ink her you like, Tina?" "Yaw, I t'ink, but she make me mooch work, an' I not that like." The mistress had heard enough. She rattled the door and walked in on the two, without further ceremony. There stood the girl us neat as a new pin. her blonde pig tails hanging down her back. She was washing and wiping the tea dashes, and was entirely alone. " Who were yotf talking to,Christine?" asked l|br mistress, suspiciously. "I talk with myself," answered the girl, "so I the Englis' speak." This curious phase of the girl's char­ acter still exists. On certain evenings she holds long conversations with her "double," and the two voices are as dis­ tinct as if they belonged to different persons. The mistress who appreciates her faithful service and her Jove for the "goot children," does not object to this sort of company,' and is more consider­ ate of the girl on Mondays, so in her talks with herself she has no longer reason to complain. * The Coming Revivalist. Mrs. Potts--What are you going to be when you are grown, Willie? Willie Watts--1 don't know that is any of jrour business. You miserable old curiosity monger, with a pair of ears like two flaps on a saddle, your old addled head is so full of anxiety about the affairs of other people that there isn't room in it for sense enough to pound sand if somebody should give you a mallet. Mrs. Potts--What a wonderful re­ vivalist that boy will make some dap.-- Terre Haute Express. ' Bargaining In Algiers* You select your goods with slow de­ liberation. pile them up together casu­ ally in a little heap, eye them askance j with an inquiring glance, and take a j contemplative pull or two at the inspir- ! ing weed in solemn silence. Mahomet ! All'1 rest>onds with a puff from his | cigarette in grave concert. Thea you j walk once or twice up and down the i piazza slowly, and jerking your head | with careless ease in the direction of your selected pile, you inquire as if for abstract reasons merely, in an off-hand tone, your Moslem friend's lowest ca&h. quotation for the lot as it stands. Two hundred francs is the smallest price. Mahomet Ali paid far more than that himself for them. He sells simply | for occupation, it would 6eem. Look at j the work, monsieur. All graven brass, not mere repousse metal, or real old chain stick, alike on both sides--none of your wretched, commonplace, mod­ em, machine-made embroidery. You smile increduouslyv and remark with a wise nod that your Moslem friend must surely be in error. A mistake of the press. For two hundred francs, read fifty francs. Mahomet Ali assumes an expressive attitude of virtuous indignation and re­ sumes his tobacco. Fifty francs for all that lot! Monsieur jests. He shows himself a very poor judge indeed of val­ ues. _ Half an hour's debate and ten succes­ sive abatements reduce the lot at Inst to a fair average price of seventy francs. Mahomet Ali declares you have robbed him of his profit, and pockets his cash with inarticulate grumblings in the Arab tongue. Next day you see in the Rue Bab-Azzoun that you have paid at least twenty francs too much for your supposed bargain.--Foreign Letter. Advising a fie porter with Oall Bow to (jet Rich. Reporters are credited with having a great deal of gall, and some of them have. One of them who belongs to the latter class is said to have attempted to interview the author of "Ragnarok" with about the following speech: Approaching the sage one morning in the office of the Merchants while en­ gaged in conversation with a friend, the reporter thrust his hands into his pock­ ets and himself into the conversation. Without introducing himself he sauvely inquired: Anything startling in the Farmers' Hauce this morning, Mr. Donnelly?" Mr. Donnelly paused, looked inquir­ ingly at the intruder, politely answered, "Not that I know," and continued his conversation. The reporter, nothing daunted, made another assault. "Mr. Donnelly, what do you think is the future of the colored race in America?" The famous politician stopped, fixed his eves upon the reporter and in­ quired: . "Young man, would you like to get rich ?" "Well, now you're talking," quickly responded the reporter. "Well," said Mr. D., "I should advise you to go down to Pennsylvania, drill a shaft, drop yourself down to the bottom and start a gas well with the ontfit."-- Pioneer Press. It's Hard to Hit a Man. A crowd of revenue officer* were4tfl1^> ing yesterday, when one of them remarked: "Do you know it's a heap harder to hit a man, shooting at him, than it is to hit a squirrel the same distance?" "Of course it is," was the general assent. It was a harder question to decide why this was so. "One,time," resumed the first speaker, '"I shot eleven timet at a man not fifty yards away from him. He shot ten times. Neither of us hit the other. Both were dodging behind trees, but all of mine were pretty fair shots. I'll give you my word, I wasn't frightened until after the whole thing was over. I aimed like I was shooting at a target, and I'm not a bad shot, either. They tell me that fellow could hit a nickel at a hundred yardB ninety-nine times out of a hundred, and I don't believe he was scared. But it's a fact--you can hit a sauirrel five time* where you couldn't hit a man once."--Atlanta Constitution. No Kan Is a Hero to a Coroner's Jury. "Died from injuries received through his own neglect." Such was the strange verdict returned by a Coroner's jury yesterday in the case of Wilson Seal, of 3,319 Wallace street, the brave Pennsylvania Railroad engineer who met his death on Sunday by being caught between engine and tender in the accident near the Colum­ bia avenue bridge. "Whatwas his neglect?" asked the Coroner. "He stayed on the engine until he was killed," answered the foreman. $ "All right," was the comment of the Coroner, in utter disgust. --Philadel- phia Record. A Trick of tbe Trade. . Owner of Premises (to tenant)-- Now, Jones, you may show me those rooms that you think ueed repairing. Tenant (with alacrity)--Ail right. We'll begin with-- Owner (enthusiastically)--One mo­ ment! Is this your baby, Mrs. Jones? What a remarkably pretty little fellow. Ootsy, tootsy, pootsv! Won't you come and sit on my knee, baby ? Bless its little bright' eyes! I'll be along in a minute, Mr. Jones. Mr. Jones (to baby)--Go and sit on the gentleman's knees, dearie. (To Mr. Jones)--John, I don't see that there's anything about the house that needs fixing up this Spring so Terr badly. . Congressional Education. ' "Mamma," said the son of a member of Congress who had presented him with some pastry on condition that he share it with his brother. "What is it?" " Won't you cut this pie for us ?" "Why not let your brother do it?" " 'Cos I can see from the way he acts that he is getting ready |o gerrymander it."--Washington Post. Bad for the Burglar. Goodfellow (nearing Jollyfellow's house very late at night after a "time" at the clnb)--I say, Jollyfellow, zhe there. There's burglar getting into your house by zhe window. Jollyfellow--Sho he is. Shay, wait a (hie) wait little. My wife'll zhink he's me and (hie) she'll half kill him.--New York Weekly. BE brief; for it is with words II with sunbeams--tbe more they . eon-' densed the deepA they barm' - Forty-Are Years* Bondage. Obits: For forty-five years I have been afflict**'! with blood poison, liver and rheu­ matic difficulties, part of the time confined to my bed. My blood was badly diseased. 81* bottl.'g of Hibbatd's Rheumatic hvrup did me more good than all the other medi­ cines I have taken. My friends have used it. and In every case it has proven a won­ derful remedy. I have known some won­ derful cures ol dyspepsia and neuralgia. MRS. MAKY UIWDLK. Mitcheilville.Iowa. Hlubciru'c liuuuin«U" By up asd Plssters- are remedies of great merit. I believe th"jr have ao equal in tiie cure of rheumatism an i all blood disease % DK. H. ltsiciUBD. Drugzist, Mitchellvil'e. Iowa. The sprJnjr is the time to tnk* Hifo u-d's Rheumatic Syrup for the blood. For sale by all druggists. Prepared only by the Charles AY right Medicine Company, De­ troit. Mich. Getting Ready to Be Shot, Gen. Horace Porter gives the follow, ing grim details of sewing names for the death roll, one of the old familiar scenes, "the nig lit before the battle:" "I was goin ' tlirouah the camp the night before tha battle, and I noticed/ nearly all the men sewing. Ordinarily I would have thought little of seeing a group of soldiers patching tip their army clothes. In this case, however, pretty much every one was sewing, and all seemed to be performing the same task of Bewing some sort of a pioco into the breasts of their coats. "My curiosity was aroused, and I asked one of the men what it was all about. " 'Nothin' much, sir,' said the soldier, saluting, 'only the boys fillow that we're goin' to get it hot to-morrow, an' they are just sowing their names on their coats, so that it they go under, as a good many of us will, sir, some one can tell who we are. That's all, sir.' " Supremely l>eliRlitrut To the emaciated and debilitated invalid la tha sense of returning health and strength produced Dy Hoststter's Stomach Bitters. When that promoter of vigor is tested by persons in feeble health, Its restorative and vitalizing potency soon evinces itself in improved appetite, diges­ tion and nightly repose, the solo conditions under which strength and nerve quietude are vouchsafed to the human system. A i_a(u in flefih of course ensues upon the restoration of digestion and assimilation. As surely as win­ ter follows the fall of the leaf does disease shallow the footsteps of declining strength, when the premature decadence of vitality is not ar­ rested. Marasmus, consumption and other wasting maladies are prompt to fasten upon thte , enfeebled. Avert disease, therefore, with this" grand enabling tonic, -\vliich not only renews failing strength but mitigates and counteracts the inllraiities of age and those of the'gentler •ex. llheumatism, malaria, liver and kidntey troubles yield to it. Mean, Bnt True. The boys at a certain college not far] from New York have got what they call a "fearful down on Prof. X." Consequently they make his life a howling failure. He was woke up at 1 in tbe morning the other day by a violent ringing at his bell. Drawing* on his dress ng-gown, he threw np his window and inquired what was the matter. "Burglars are around, and ws wanted to tell you that one of ybnr windows is open." "Which one?" be asked, anxiously. "The one you have got your head etnek out of," replied the students in chorus.-- Chatter. OR, how can a lair maiden smile and bo gay, Be lovely and loving and dear, As sweet as a rose aud as bright as the May When her liver is all out of gear? Bho can't. It is impossible. But if she will only take Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, it will < loanse and stimulato her disordered liver, purify her blood, make ber complexion soft and rosy, her breath whole­ some, her spirits cheerful and her temper sweet. All druggists. DON'T hawk, hawk. blow, spit and disgust everybody with your offensive breath, but use Dr. Sflge's Catarrh Remedy and end it. A DUTCH tradesman has recently had tbe idea of making some valuable old German vases which had been exe ivated in the province of Limburg more market­ able by painting lilies of the valley and anemones in them. The government heard of thi< abominable act of vandilism only after "the most of the pots and vases had been sold for a song beyond the Dutch frontier, and only a few urns and bronze ornaments have been saved, the vandals having broken as useless rubbish all such pieces which they had not been nble to adapt readily to the requirements of their trade. M. L. THOMPSON ft CO.. Druggists, Couders- port, Pa., say Hall's Catarrh Cure is the best and only sure cure for oatarrh they ever sold. Druggists sell it, Toe, ABOUT 36,000,000 women are en­ gaged, in British India, in some descrip­ tion of classified work--roughly, a little less thin one-third of the entire female population, which includes, of course, an enormous proportion of infants and young girls. Card or Thanks. If the proprietor of Kemp's Balsam sh&uld publish a card of thanks, containing ex­ pressions of gratitude which come to him daily from those who have been cured of severe throat and lung troubles by the use of Kemp's Balsam, it would fill a fair-sized book. How much better to invite all to call on any druggist and get a free sample bottle that you may test lor yourself its power. Large bottles 50c and $1.00. He--Miss Wayting, you are a puzzle to me. I never know how to take yon. She (•hyly)--You never tried.--Burlington Free Press. . Hibbard's Rhcuniatic and Liver Pills. These Pills are soientifleally compounded, uniform in action. No griping pain so com­ monly following the use of pills. They aro adapted to both adults find children with perfect safety. We guarantee they have no equal in the cure of Sick Headache, Con- etipation. Dyspepsia. Biliousness: and, as an appetizer, they excel any other prepara­ tion. THE Postmaster General should sup­ press matrimony by all means, for matri­ mony is a lottery. Six Kovels Free, will bo sent by Cragl'n St Co.. Philada., Pa., to any one in the U. S. or Canada, postage paid, upon receipt of 23 Dobbins' Electric Soap wrappers. Bee list of novels on circulars around each bar. Boap for sale by all grocers. "I'M no read bird," said the parrot, when given a book to peruse. Vean, But True. The boys at a certain college not far from Kew York have got what they call a "fearful down on Prof. X." Consequent­ ly they make his life a howling fsilniw. He was woke up at one in the morning the other day by a violent ringing at his bell. Drawing on his dressing-gown, he threw up his window and inquired what was the matter. "Burglars are around, and we wanted to teii you that one of your windows is open." "Which one?" he asked, anxiously. "The one you have your head stuck out of," replied the students iR choraB,-- Chatter, •f* „ * : 'r- '- she Get-it. * . [ "My pa is siek, and he sent me for some tobacco," said a little girl on Grund River avenue. "•Smoking?" • > "No; he eats it." "Do jou know the brand?* "No, sir; but it's the klhcf they use when they spit all over the parlor carpet because they are too lazy to spit out of the window." He gave her plug.--Detroit Free Press. BBONCHITIS Is cured by doses of Plso's Cure for Co: nsumptlon. IF afflicted with Sore Eves, usa Dr. Iaaae Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it 25c. WE recommend "Tansill'S runch* Cigar. COBS Oil Cures Backache. Backache. _ Backache. Martinez, ("a!., October 2,1888. I cotild hardly walk or lie down from lame- back; suffered several -weeks. St. Jacobs Oil permanently cured me, other remedies hav­ ing failed to do so. FRED. HITTMAN. _ • ClovCWale, Ind.. Feb. 6,1887. From a bad cold pains settled in mv back aild I suffered greatly; confined to bed and could hardly movo or turn. I tried St. Jacobs Oil. which cured me. I do not f»v.r recurrence. MRS. P. M. REINHEIMER. You Need It Now To Impart etrecsth and to Rive a feeling of l ealth and vigor throughout the system, there is nothing equtl to Hood's Sarsaparilla. It Keemg peculiarly adapted to overcome that tired feolinz caused by change of season, climate or life, and while It tones and snEtainn the syntem it purifies aud reno­ vate# the blood. We earnetitiy urge the lurns army of clerks, bookkeepers, school teachers, housewives, operatives and all other* who have been closely confined during the winter, and who need a good spring medicine, to try Hood's Sartaparilla note. It will do you good. "Every spring for years I have made It a practice to take from three to Ave bottles of Hood's Sar- sasarilla, because I know it purines the blood and thoroughly cleanses the system of all impurities. That languid feeling, sometimes called 'spring fever," will never visit the system that has beeu properly cared for by this never-failing remedy." W. H. LAWRENCE, Editor Agricultural Kpitomist, Indianapolis, Ind. Hood's Sarsaparilla Bold by a)! druggists. : six for $5. l^repared only by C. i. HOOD & CO, Lowell, Mass. (OO ^Doses Ona Dollar 'JFTI /LUJOHN W,JHOBHII| Vol U IV IVusliington, ».C. Successfully Prosecutes Claim*. Late Principal Examiner U. S. Pension Buraau. 3 yrs m test war, 15 abjudicating cluims, atty suftOfe MOTHERS' FRIEND MAKES CHILD BIRTH EAS! IP USBD BBFORE CONFINEMENT. BOOK TO "MOTHEKS': MAILEDHFRK*. REOi LATOR CO., ATUBTiillt BOLD sr A< <- DKUOAUXA. -- D l1*1 • 3 l)NB ENJOYS Both the method aud results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it ia pleasant and refreshing to tKe teste, and acta gently yet promptly on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys­ tem effectually, dispels colds, head­ aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is the y of its kind ever pro­ duced, pleasing to the taste ana ac- only remedy ceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities com­ mend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of F:" gists. Any reliable druggist who and Syrup fl Dottles b Figs is for sale in 50o all leading drugs- may dot ha\;e it on hand will pro­ cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it» Do not accept any substitute. * CALIFORNIA FI8 SYRUP CO. 8AN FHAMOISGO, CAL. 10UI8VIUE. KY. HEW rORK. N.Y. I LIKE MY WIFE TO USE POZZONI'S MEDICATED COMPLEXION POWDER. Because It Improves Her Looks and Is as Fragrant as Violets, tola} zrvsii- eus CATARRH CREAM BALM Cleanses tlie Nasal Passages. Allays Pain and Inflammation, Heals the Sores. Restored the Senses of Taste and Smell. PatarW I TRY THE CURE! HAY-FEVER A particle is applied inio curb nostril and is agree- aWi', Priecfni i-cntK at liruKKists; by mail, registered, Cbcts. EX.Y BUOTUI'-'KS. .Mi Warren Street. New York. If you want rout pension without dulay, put your claim in the hands of JOSEPH II. HCNTEB, Attorney* WwhtafUin. D. ©. AT •FOLKS# PENSIONS AnU-t^urpulene low l»lta.a i. Thev cau&t no tickiies*, contain no potion asd Btvtf Soldbv iJratg'»t««Tervwhereor»entby Partlo» Sr.Wilcox'i SpcciSo Co., Pa." SALT LAKE CITY. IX GOll) roil ONK CENT. The Chamber of Commerce offers fornear- eft Hues* on population of Salt Lake City, |Utl for another on Utah'K population. U 8 census 1S!W. Everybody ou'side of Utah invited to Kue*H. <iov. Thomas, of Utah, will award prizes, which are to be published. Mail one guess now aud wo will send latest statistics, printed and Illustrated matter, to assist on ti 11 1 rupks. Lists close Juno L5_ Write to-day. CHAMBER OF rOMMER. E. SALT LAKK CITT, UTAH. OPIUM liLNTION THIS 1'AFfc* SOLDIERS -1. ^ • .Is To Restore Tone and Strength " r to the weakened by La Grippe or ?ay Illness, Ayer's Sar$; I; is positively unequalled. Get the BEST. Prepared by f)r. «J. O. Ayer €l Co^ Lowell, Mass. r wram»raisioiis^s^ Bend for dig^t of Tension and Bounty Laws. Seud fop Inrentora' MULDO or How to On a Pitkci n'y.»»»n AUoriw-y at Law, Washington, D. €. I Habit. The only certain ,. and easy cure. Dr. J. 1*. _ _ ' Stephens. Lebanon. Ohio. " litNTtON THIS I'Arlll kbu n A»r*zrmmj*a. and Helrawritttusfor- new Pension laws. s«>nt, . jvj tfreo. Deserters r»Si«Ttd. ; Success or no fee. llcCormick41 SwM.WasMaftoa, S. 0., * Ciacisarti, 0. IUDDES'8 PmiLLE&;H!SE™i: Jleatowa, «•» warrive MENTION PATER JONES OP BINSHAMT SCALES Beam Box Tare Bea« * HALF RATES -- -TO THE : f .'V FARMING REGIONS * WEST, SOUTHWEST, NORTHWEST. WarjMrttenliivs call on your Ticket Awnt or V. B. EUSXiS, Uen'l Pass. Agt. C. B. & y. K. K„Chicago. Cpp' DK. T. FELIX (JOI'KAl'D'S ORIENTAIV^ CREAM, OH MAU1C.U BEAVMFIWS^|||^ Remove* F r e k I • a./'-'.Y;. ;:; c Motb PaWh^R***;.; juiti Skin ind blttmuh* . and I the teeter Aocwj*.-- to be «r!y 1 no tbnilar ram*. Dr., ." y.-!" L. A, w iaid tae£ t lady At' ton(apat!-«;it*: "A*r"i ywt win o\ tb*n, I rwr.mmofxifc •OoHrMt'l** On******--. at Ut* of all tav in prep* • :f.~* 'i Prug-glsU and Fancy Goods UfciV' ":; *EIU>. T. HOPKINS. l'rop'r» 3? Great Jones St. ORATEFU L--COMFORTING. V. EPPS'S COCOA BREAKFAST. "By »thorough itnow!«ljre of the nttnranaw^ Which gOTern the owraSknis of dipMtiOB and nntrifc Son, and by a careful application of the tin>> propert C8 of wU-Frlivtod C"> oa. Mr. Knw haf pronda^l Olsr Invakfawt table* with a delicately fl»vo«t*4 WNffc. f ta<n- which may save us many heavy doetora'hT" I in liv the judicious use of such artioics of diett ^constitution may lx> Kiadusliybuiit stpuntil 1 -Boiwh to waint every tendency to disease •TAda of aubtle maladies are Boating sround ua 10 attack wherever there ia a wealt point. \V« ••cape many a fatal *haft by keeping our elvi •Drafted with pnre blood ind a properly not) nunc." -Otcti S'rx-ic* Gaeetle. _ ^ M»dr niraply witfi boiling water or rcilk. Mfp. •Mx.ro half round tinit, by Grocer*, labelled thna: WOktMXPPti* Cjl^HomoBop^OUc (KbM% DR. OWE3T8 ELECTRIC BELT imHTEOAOC. 16, I8S7, lMPWYtBJW.r30.lt DR. 0W*1T8 EXJWntO- OA1TAKIC BOOT BXLT j AMD BU8PEK80HY «U> ' ;eore All Kheumatia COB- 'plainta.X.nmh.'-.go.GaMni . and ! He vous Debility. CoatiTsness, Xidaay Olaeaies, lT«i-wew»e*. . Trembling, Seawl _ --waj- hanation. Wasting ft" ' :M-k got?. e*o«3l by indiscratiww (V* j RISPOJIMBI/K'PJLKTITRU1«»- ..'J : DR. owcn'S ELECTRIC INSOLES•. ASso an Electric Truss and Belt Combined* Send He. postage for nuulllust'd book, 324 pam, vhltb vftlbfi x ^ aeat you m plain sealed envelop* Mention thUpaper. OWEN ELECTRIC BELT * APPLMJTOB C& 306 North Broadway. ST. UOXTSM, MXk :' 68@Sceiii3.way. NSW YOBK CiTT, , . - >v. v° . , --~--•" i'" "" Psi'W'4 W. L. DOUGLAS. $ 3 S H O E GENTLEMEN- BEST IN THE WORLD. 0THEB SPECIALTIES for GENTL1XXV, . : LADIES, MISSES and BOYS. Kono genuine unless name and price tr« stamped on bottom. Sold everywner*. NOrSead address on postal for information. W. !>. DOOCIM. Brock too. Kan. Cam In 1 TO 5 DATS VrdMily byth* QumloilOli Clnrtnnatl Ohio. I prescribe and fully en-: dorse Big (> as tha only ;* specific tor the certain cur* 'f. of this disease. li.U.LNGRAHAM,5I.D.4 Amsterdam, N. Y. We have -sold Big G for . many yenre, and it baa riven the best ot awis-.*ajfej faction. ^ D. B. DYCHE ft CO.. ' Chicago, 111. 81.00. Sold by DroggttSi / C. N. U. >•«. *1 - WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS, "" nitaw aay yua aaw tke advertiscmeat lu thlai paper. . ltEAlEOY FOR CATAXVAW. -- t a w i e s t t o u s e . Cheapest. Relief is immediate. A cure is Ml"-•tin Jtor Cold in the Head it has no equal. it is an nostril*. R R H Ointment, of which a sm,i OOc^Sold bjr dru^i: small particle is applied to the ists or sent by mail. HAZELTIMX. Warren. Pa. "Jhnoybelrue wh&bsome mense^ ftm&unbefraej^,wha.t*eJmen seyT IMIOH S&p olio.-- * icouring soap-- PUBLIC, endorses, ]Hs & solid c&Jte ol .. For many«years SAPOLIO has stood as the finest anH best article of this kind in the world. It knows no equal, and, although it costs a trifle more its durability makes it outlast two cakes of cheap makes. It is therefore the cheapest in*, the end. Any grocer will supply k at reasonable wiee. ^%t'4 . 'MS. mailto:68@Sceiii3.way

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