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McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 3 Sep 1890, p. 6

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MCHENRY, (rnrit <© 'laimtralc 4. VAN 8LYKE, Editor litd PuUlUW. ILLINOI8. TOP GO TH ltOCGU LIFI, »T EtU WHF.EI.SB WILCOX. • iDoiil lonk for the flaws iib yon go through Ufa; And even when you liiul them. It Is WISP and kind to be somewhat blind And look for rlie virtuo l>ehiiid tbem. iTor the clo;Kli©at night has a hint ol liglft Soiuevfhero in its shfuiow hiding; {• • |tt is lie! i cr by far to hunt for a t-raf, t-j} Than the spots on the sun abiding. fjjt •' I"*',' ' "jThe current of lifo runs ever away . r; ' To the bosom of (Sod's grout ocean. •Dqn'tKRt. your force 'gainst the river's COOTM And think to sltnr its motion. Don't vnste a curse on the universe-- Reaiember, it lived before you. Don't butt at the storm with ynur puny form-- But bend and let it go o'er you. Tbe world will never ndjust itself To suit your whims to the letter. Some things must go vrrontj your whole life long, And the sooner you know it. tho betttr. It iR folly to tigiit with the Infinite, And go under at last in the wrestle. wiser mail, t-hapt-s into God's plan AB the water shapes into the vessel. "•yjfaad*e»' Home .Journal. trate. The very moment I was doing thin I knew I wa-s doing something ter­ rible, bat that consciousness was in­ stantaneous, like a flash of lightning, and the deed followed so close upon it lis to be almost simultaneous with it. My consciousness of the deed and of its nature was painfully distinct. I felt and I remember the momentary re­ sistance of the corset, and of something else, and then the passage of the knife taming her eyes towards the door, and sobbing. On the threshold stood her sister, with the childreu. "Yes; see what you have done !" ^ I looked at the children and then at her bruised, blue face, and for the first time I forgot myself, my rights, my pride; for the first time 1 saw in her a human being, and so frivolous and mean did everything appear that had wounded me, even my jealousy, and so cutting its way through the soft parts j grave, so fateful the thing that I had of the body. She seized the dagger i done, that I was reaiy to fall at her with both her hands, wounding them, ! feet, take her hand in mine, and say, SENATOR JONES' FIRST STRIKE. INSANE FRENZY. >T: ; Leaf » k" ( : : from Tolstoi's Sonata." but without staving its progress. Then having plunged the dagger into her body, I instantaneously drew it out, anxious thereby to remedy what I had done, to stay my hand. I then stood motionless an inst&ut, wailing to see what would happen, whether in was possible to remedy it. She suddenly sprang to her feet and screamed out, "Nurse, she has mur­ dered me!" The nnrso, having heard the noise, was already on the thres­ hold. I was still standing motionless, expectant, incredulous. Suddenly the blood welled forth from under her cor­ set, and then I saw that what I had , . done was past remedying, and the same j now; kill me! I'm not afraid, instant I decided that it was not desir- kill them all; kill him too. He's able that itshould.be remedied, that this very thing Mas what I wanted and *4|trentrer what ought to hare been done. I liu- ->h o gered on still, till she fell, and the nurse, exclaiming, "Good God!" ran to her assistance; it was only then I flung The first thing I did was to take off my I away the dagger and went to my room; •*SSF«S -toy"boots;- then in my stockings I went to the wall where my "guns and daggers "were suspended above the sofa, and took down a crooked Damascus blade that had never been used, and was ex­ ceedingly sharp. I unsheathed it. The scabbard slipped from my hands and fell down behind the sofa; and I re- -member saying to myself, "I must look for it afterward, or it may get lost." Then I divested myself of my great- «ioat. and stepping out softly in my stockings, I went there; and, stealing up inaudiblv, I suddenly threw open the door. I remember the expression of their faces. I remember it, because it afforded me an excruciating pleas­ ure. It was im expression of terror, and that was precisely what I desired. TTo my dying day I shall not' forget the xegard of mingled despair and terror on their faces, lie was seated. I think at the table, and soon as he saw me, he started to his feet and stationed himself with his back leaning against the cup- Iward. His features were expressive of unmistakable abject terror. Her face 'wore the same expression, but there was something else there besides; and had it not been for that something else, bad I discovered no trace of anything but terror, perhaps that which happened A little later would have never taken -place. For an instant, and only for an her looks j "What must I do now?" 1 asked my­ self, and I at once knew what. Goiug into my study I went up to the wall, took down the revolver, examined it-- it was loaded--and placed it on the table. I next picked up the scabbard from behind the sofa, and then seated myself ou the sofa. I remained thus seated for a long time, thinking of noth­ ing, recollecting nothing. I was con­ scious, h#wever, of a considerable stir in the other rooms. I heard a vehicle driving up to the door with some one; then another. Then I heard and saw George;coming. "Did you hear what happened ?" I asked him. "Tel the dvornik to go and inform the po­ lice. " He went out. I rose from the sofa, and got out my cigarettes. Be­ fore I had smoked one, 1 was overcome by drowsiness and fell asleep. 1 slept for about two hours. I dreamt that she and I were living on terms of affection, that we had quar­ relled, but were making it up, there was some little obstacle in the way, but that at bottom we were friends. I was awoke by a knocking at the door. "That's the police," I thought. "I fancy I murdered her. But perhaps it is she herself who is knocking, and that nothing at all has hapoened." The knocking at the door was continued. I "Forgive me!" But I did not dare. She closed her eyes and remained si­ lent, evidently too weak to speak. All at once her distorted face quivered, a frown passed over it, and she pushed me feebly away from her. "Why has all this happened? Oh, why?" "For­ give me." I exclaimed. "Forgiveness! all that is rubbish. Oh, if I could only keep from dying!" she ejaculated, rais­ ing herseif up a little and fixing on me her eyes, that gleamed with feverish luster. "You have worked your will. I hate you! Oh. ah!" she exclaimed, evidently frightened of something, as' her mind began to jwander. "Kill me Only s gone; he's gone!" The delirium continued to j the very end. She recognized no one. The same day at noon she passed away . - . - - - . ' An Indian Crime. The crime it is proposed to briefly describe certainly exists in Caloutta and in Bengal generally, and it is not un­ known, report says, in the south of India. But the circumstances attend­ ing it, as here related, are taken from record, or founded on observation, in Northwest Provinces. The adjective Indian is, however, not inappropriate, because as far as the writer is aware, the particular offence is unknown else­ where, and, indeed, is suggested and led up to chiefly by habits and asso­ ciations existing in that part of the East. A social outrage so striking very forci­ bly impressed itself on the writer's mind when he was commencing magis­ terial work in a district near Agra, many years ago. And an account of it was written, entitled "Foul Play in the- Jungle," which--published in an ephemeral magazine and long forgotten by its author as well as everybody else- is only mentioned because some* of the facts here put down were doubtless put down there also. It may be safely af­ firmed, however, that not a letter of that account ever reached England. The crime is that of the murder of children for their ornaments. And three strange points have been noticed about this terrible outrage. First, that it is generally committed without due provision for its concealment, and often with circumstances of extreme folly. Second, that the crime appears to be thinking, at least-the disappointment, , the .auestion. Had all that reallv taken the vexation she felt at being disturbed | piace or not? Yes, it had. I reraem'- jn her lo\e-maknig. Both of those ex- j bered the resistance of the corset and pressiCBs lingered but a second on their , the passage of the blade through the Jace^ hv- was insiantaneously replaced j bodv> and the recollection sent an icy by an interrogative granê atber which ; co,j c]ll]l aiong mv back and niade mJy |aid: &itpossib;e to right things by j flesh crap."Yes,11 had taken place. Jging? If so then it is tune to begin. . There was no mistake about that. Now ¥ ?\ S?^6 hu,g ,elT wi 1 U\e placej it's my turn, I thought, but even while tut what Her look of vexation and j j; was stm saving that to myseif, I knew •disappointment was succeeded I j that X would not km mvJlf And vefc lancied, the moment her eyes met ms, ! j rose and up the revolver again. It seemed strange. I remember how by solicitude for him. For an instant I «lood on the trchojd, that 't'the '"'°l•' -- ' betrayed--to my j djd not at)Swer it, but strove to decide almost always discovered and punishedL The writer has never heard of missing children supposed to have come to violent ' ends, about whom nothing further was known, for the people are with the authorities in this matter, and will do their utmost to bring the sus­ pected to justice. The third point is that this especial offence does not seem materially to diminish. And here it may be just said that murders, if found out, do not necessarily reflect discredit on the police. Many women are put to death in India, as in other parts of the East, from motives Of jealousy. If a man wishes to destroy his wife and does not fear dying for the act, Vidocq himself could not prevent him. And so with this destruction of children. A law could be passed prohibiting their wearing ornaments, but if they do wear ornaments no law can prevent and no vigilance hinder persons who will risk being hanged from murdering them. It will be remembered that among the Hindus the son has the duty of per­ forming the religious rites to his dead father and male children are on this ac­ count, among others, much valued and indulged. An affection often displays itself by placing necklaces round lheir throats, charms and horoscopes cased in silver upon their arms and bangles on their wrists. „ .. i-'j, , such an easy thing to do. But now I °, *h .TCC S°, 8tUJed -V uncon; could not even harbor the :ersed that it seemed positively comical, j Ami we were at our music he<began. |" Well, this is a surprise," slfe exclaimed, the same moment, follow­ ing up the cue he had given her. Bat neither he nor she finished what they were going to say. The insane frenzy I had felt a week before again took possession of me; and I gave myself up to it, body and soul. They never finished the sentence Hiey had commenced. That other al­ ternative happened which he was so greatly afraid of, and it swept away in a trice all that they were going to say. T I threw myself upon her, hiding all the I Zakharievitch" said' so.' time the dagger, lest he should hinder harievitch was the doctor me from plunging it into her side, un­ der her breast I ciiose this spot from the very first. Just as 1 was flinging myself upon her, be saw what I was about, caught me by the arm, and shouted out at the top of his voice: "Befchink vou of what you are doing! Help!" I freed my arm and jusbed thought. ~ Why should I kill myself?" I asked. And no answer was forthcoming. The knocking at the door continued* "Ah, yes, I must first see who is at the door. There will be always time enough for this," and I laid the revolver down on the table and covered it over with a newspaper. I then went to thfc door and drew back the bolt. It was my wife's sister--a well-meaning, silly widow. " Yasa, what's all this?" she exclaimed, and the tears--always ready with her--flowed abundantly. "What do you want ?" I asked, turning to her gruffly. "Yasa, she's dying; Ivan Ivan Zak- her doctor and adviser. * "Is he here?" I inquired, and all my hatred for her revived. "Weil, and what if she is?" I con­ tinued. "Yasa, go to her." "Shall I go to her?" I asked myself. And I at once decided that it was my duty to go to her, that it was the correct thing to -Tir>n- . n " I do in such cases; that when a husband 3^™?* ottering a word His kills hia wife, I had done, he is toZff gT'Ae'Sliltr to go to her. If it is always became hlon^ ^ & a done, I reasoned, then I suppose Imu^t f c i bls!!tDB " 8 i - r ° i , i he ! sald t0 myself, thinking of my intention to commit suicide--I shall have plenty tfe. he dived under the piano and fled from the room. I rushed after him, but felt a heavy weight suspended from my left »m. It was she. I struggled" and tried to tear myself from her, but she prevented me from moving. This un­ looked-for hindrance, the dragging ^weight, and her touch, from which I shrank as from a loathsome thing, served only to inflame me still more. I struck backward with my left arm with all the force I could gather, and I hit iier with my elbow in the face. She ^screamed and let go my arm. I turned around to her. She had fallen on the .coach and, pressing her bruised eve- -with her hands, was looking at me. fHer,faoe was expressive of terror and •of hatred for me, her enemy X saw nothing but fear and hatred in her ^features, just such lear and hatred for me which love for another wouid in­ evitably call forth in her. Still I might perhaps, have restrained myself yet! and might not have done what I did, if of time to do,it afterward, and I fol­ lowed my wife's sister. Strange as it may seem, as I left my study and passed through the familiar rooms, I once more conceived a hope thai all this had not really taken place; but the pungent smell of the abomin­ able drugs, of iodine, of carbolic acid, overpowered me, and I knew it had really taken place. Passing along the corridor by the nursery, I saw Liza;she gazed at me with a terrified look in her eyes. I fancied the whole five children were there and were steadfastly looking at me. I went up to the door of her room, and the maid opened it and went out. The first thing that struck me was her light gray dress lying on a chair, all black with blood. She was in bed, in my bed, which was of easier access than her own, lying on pillows in a very Sloping position, her knees upraised, she had only remained siient. But she ' [ler camiso,e o«buttoned. Something *i' 1 " ' ~ 1 ^eeu laid on the place where the wound wa^. A nauseous smell of iodine pen aded the room. What impressed ine in the first place, and more pro­ foundly than anything else, was her swollen, bruined face, the eves and part nf fl.n i_ • < r .... * all at onee began to speak and to clutch at my hand, the hand that held the -dagger. "Think what you are doing Nothing has passed between him and me, nothing. I swear to you, notli- ;ing." I might still have wavered, had it not been for those concluding words, , tlie nose being of a bluish-black from which Iinferied that the opposite tllese were the effects of the blow was true. 1 had struck her with mv elbow. No "Do not lie, hell-hag," I screamed, seizing lier arm with my left hand! Then, without relinquishing my hold of the dagger, I caught her with my left Laud by the throat, threw her over on ter back and began to strangle her. How tough her neck seemed! She seized m v arms with both her hands, tearing them away from her throat; aud, as it I had only been waiting for this, I struck the dagger, with all the strength I could muster, into her left aide and under the ribs. • * • * * * * * * * "Whenever people assert that in a paroxysm of madness they do not re­ member what they are doing, they are talking nonsense or lying. I knewverv well what I was doing, and did not for a single second cease to be conscious of it. The more I fanned the flame of my iury, the brighter it burned, within me, the light of consciousness, lighting up every nook of my «oul, so I could not help seeing everything. Thus I was £ware that I was striking her below the **^a»-sad that the 'blade Would peJie^ , , _ elbow. No trace ot beauty was left; but instead of it l noticed something repulsive. I stopped at the threshold. Go up to her; go up to her," ex­ claimed her sister. "Yes, she probably wants to repent," I thought. "Shall I forgive her? Yes, as she is dving I may forgave her," 1 decided within mv- self, stnvmg to be magnanimous. *T WIFL. ,R(VNT NLP ,CIOSE U' BER BEDSIDE. With difijcultv Hhe raised up her eves to me one of which was greatly bruised, and said falteringly, htam- menng over the words: " You have your way now; you have killed me." And I noticed on her face the expres­ sion which was struggling with physi­ cal pain for the mastery; in spite of the nearness of death, it was the old, fa­ miliar, cold, animal hatred. "The children--you--shall not-have; I will not give-them--to you! She [ber Bister J--will take them." As to that II® S.oanrd a Poor Miner a Thousand and It Brought Him a Million. Senator Jones, of Nevada, is one of yonr self-made men. He commenced life poor. But 1. year old when his parents came from Herefordshire, En- glaud, he made his way to. the top by dint of hard work and the exercise of considerable shrewdness. lake Senator Sauder.% of Moutana, who made his first ten strike out of a claim he staked out in a graveyard, Senator Jones' first streak of luck "was purely accidental, as nearly all streaks of luck are. The story goes that when Jones was in California he stumbled across his pile in the following remarkable manner He lived in a certain county that Bret Harte made famous--Tuolumne, the veracious chroniclers assert, and during the gold excitement kept a small grocery store. He did a thriving trade, prices were high in those days in Cali­ fornia, and after a few years Jones had amassed a few thousand dollars. Up the mountain a piece lived a solitary miner. He was poor, had the reputa­ tion of being shiftless, but despite the report was always busy. One day he called on Jones. "Say. Jones, I think I've got a bo­ nanza in that claim of mine," said the poor miner. Jones smiled. He had heard these stories before. He knew how great ex­ pectations were frequently never real­ ized. Time, labor and money were usually wasted on what looked like something rich but that developed into snares, so Jones merely smiled. "It's a big thing," persisted his visitor, and he proceeded to explain what his claim was and his reasons for being so sanguine. After several hours' talk the miner asked for an advance of $1,000 with which to buy tools and food. Jones demurred. A thousand dollars was a big enough sum, saved, as it had been, with much trouble and labor. But after all $1,000 cut no figure in comparison with the profits of a good mine. Jones finally told the miner he would see what could be done. After nightfall and the Chinamen employed in the neighborhood had taken their departure, Mr. Jones al­ lowed the embers of his fire to die out. When satisfied that no one was about, he scraped away the ashes, raised the stone on which the fire was built, and weighed out the necessary gold dust to make the thousand dollars. These little precautions were always taken in that region, where even robbers were more plentiful than fortunes. The tools were bought, Jones lend­ ing the money and the miner promising him one-third of the profits of the mine. Jf'or months the solitary miner labored, but he did not strike the lead. He grew wan and hollow-eyed and occasion­ ally dropped in to see Jones. The lat­ ter had by this time abandoned all hope of ever seeing his money again. "There's no gold up there." he would inform the exhausted miner. "Yes, thfere is," insisted the latter, "if I could only strike it." Affairs were now becoming desperate with the hopeful but penniless man. One day he called on Jones and after coughing apologetically asked for some meal and bacon. He knew he would be successful eventually with his search but provisions were out. Jones smiled again. "It's like throwing it in a rat hole," he cheerfully observed as he dug out a side of bacon and gathered up a sack of corn meal for his luckless partner. For four months nothing was heard of the old fellow andbienes presumed he had either gone away or had died at his post up the gulch. Both suppositions were erroneous. The miuer dashed into the store one day irradiated with joy. He had really struck his bonanza. The mine was sold for $3,000,000 and faith­ ful to his promise the honest miner gave Jones one-third of it. Senator Jones' prosperity dated from that time,^--Pitts­ burgh Font. them, "such lovely» lovely lights! II we could only be there aud bee them clove to!" "But wo must be C>nt«nted," said mamma, cheerfully. If we're not in­ vited, we must find happiness at home." "I don't think I can be happy before the party is over," said Lulu, in sad decision. "See how light and bright it is there, asd how dark we are. Little Agnes had been looking up to the clear summer heaven, And then down at the meadow, where fireflies were swarming. "Don't you mind, Lulu," she said, in her little soft voice, "we've got the stars and the fireflies, anyway. Fate Could Not Ifarn*, They are tearing down the old houses all over the city to make room for the more modern house. While these houses are being demolished there is usually a class of people who crowd around, eager to pick up all the stray ( the cat and once 1 gave the hall hat THE FESTtVE BURGLAR. «®w I Lay Awake tor Two Months to Head Him OK What would you do if you heard burglar in the house ? To me that question hat < c mrred a million times, more or less. The fttst time it flashed athwart my brain 1 bought a bull dog revolver, and a Spanish dirk. On second thought added a base ball bat to the equipment, and then for six nights I lay awake planning how I would softly draw-on some indispensable garments, seize the, revolver in one hand, the club in the other, and capture or otherwise dispose pf the burglar. The dirk I would carry in my teeth--I saw no other way. Strange to say, this armament and my well laid plans did not bring the peace of mind I had expected. The more I prowled around the more agitated I became. Twice I shot at pieces of wood which come in their di­ rection. Colored people generally pre­ dominate in this class, and many a lam- ily is thus supplied with fuel. While rack a wicked stab, taking it for a bur­ glar. Then my wife suggested in the inter­ ests of my health that I put up a bur- tearing down a house in the northwest glar alarm and not get up until I had He Mad. Lo«t His Hustle. Two men sat on a bench at the court house to enjoy the sunshine, one at either end of the bench. One was ap­ parently well fed and we'll to do; the other had apparently staked his all and gone down with the crash. For the. first five minutes not a word was spoken. Then the hard up man ven­ tured the observation; "l-ine day." The .other nodded. About five min­ utes later hard up remarked: "Time to (hink of leaving town." A second nod. The interval was only three minutes this time, when the speaker inquired: "Think you could cash a check lor me A third nod. It was exactly a min­ ute and a half before he continued: "It would be a great favor." The other put his hand into his pocket, but let it remain. The hard up man was now breathing in an excited manner, but he held himself back for fifty seconds before he said: "It's a small check--one for a quar­ ter." The other extended a quarter in his fingers and looked up to say, "Might have had it fifteen minutes ago." "But I was afraid of working you too fast. I ve been over to Missouri for three months, and they took all the hustle out of me there. Why, they are so slow there that they were three weeks sending me to jaii for five days, and it took me two days to make up my mind to break out and two more to dig through the wall. I'll soon be all right again. By next week I'll be able to isk you for $1 without losing ten second's time."--Dev Moines Graphic. the Great und Hi* Dwarfs* Formerly it was the custom 6t the great to maintain dwarfs in their retinue, and in the middle ages there were few royal courts without one, and there are some instances of these little people rising to distinction. Peter the Great, Czar of Russia, who was himself between six and seven feet high, was very fond of dwarfs. When he went on his travels he had in his retinue four dwarfs. The most celebrated of Czar Peter's dwarfs was a little lady whom he called Poupee. When fully grown to womanhood she was only as tall as a child of five or six years of age. She was very pretty and extremely clever, ttnd the gigantic Czar took the greatest delight in her company, and was never tired of amusing himself with the lively little creature. Dwarfs seldom live to a great age, but this tiny mite outlived her friend tlft Czar and all the members of his court,and reached the age of 100 years. She had never suffered from any illaess and pre- which was the most important of all for l,8erve(* aH her faculties to the close of rne-her guilt, her faithlessness-she aid not consider it deserving of even a passing allusion. "Yes; admire what you've done!" she exclaimed, slowly her long life. IT is knowledge of what we are makes us.wretched, and tfhe knowL of what God is that gives us peace,. Duel with Lariats. A novel duel was fought near Moore's Station between two Mexican cowboys named Jose Carrasco and Manuel Bosco. Carrasco was in possession of a fine mettled cow which Bosco claimed belonged to him, and had been stolen some time previous. The two meB met in the roadway. They were both on horseback, and their lariats hung from the pommels of their saddles. Bosco hailed Carrasco and demanded the re­ turn of the cow. The latter became furious al flie suggestion that he had Cftme into tlie pSarSSslSn a sto.en cow and his Mexican blood began to boiL Words of a sulphurous nature began to pass between the cowboys, when Bosco called Carrasco a liar. „ Scarcely had the words Tleen spoken when, quick as a fiash, the irate Car- rtft&co grasped his lasso from his saddle, and, twirling it with a quick movement over his head, s£nt it with a swish toward Bosco's neck. The latter ducked section of the city recently, the work­ men were very much bothered by these "wood hustlers," as they term them. The "wood hustlers" in this case were composed, with but one exception, of small negroes. Thi3 exception was an old negro who had one leg shorter than the other, and was nearly bent double, but whether with age or not no one knew. He looked as if he had worked hard all his life, but appearances are deceitful. The workmen became so incensed at the "wood hustlers7' that they drove them ail away excepting the old man. After a while the old man became more bold, and endangered himself in trying to get pieces of wood. One of the workmen spoke to him about it, telling him he would be hurt if he persisted in getting in the way. The old man mumbled out something, but paid noaattention to the warning. Finally he got close to the wall and stopped to pick up a piece of a beam. Just as he was stooping a brick fell in front of him, and he narrowly escaped being hit. Seeing this, a workman yelled: "Look out, ole man, or you'll be killed." "I doan't kare," replied the old man, and he continued to confiscate all the wood that came within his reach. Again he barely escaped being hit with another brick, and again the workman shouted: "1 done tole yer onst to git away from dera. The fust thing you know you won't know nothing." "I doan't kare," reiterated the old man, looking around for more wood, aud, seeing some in the interior of the building, he went for it. He had hardly nassed the door when a heavy beam fell in the place he had just va­ cated, enveloping him in a cloud of dust. Several workmen, thinking that the heavy beam had pinioned the old man to the ground, jumped down to render all the assistance possible. Imagine their surprise when, on reach­ ing the place, they found the old man gathering the wood as unconcernedly as though nothing had happened. The workmen were speechless for a while, and then one said: "Look a' har, ole man, you have to git out o' this. We don't care 'bout losin' time er carryin' yer korpus through the street." The old man looked contemptuously at the speaker, and then said in a don't- give-a-continental toife: "G'way, niggers. I don't care. I jist had my life 'sured fo' foty dollars."-- Washington Pout. Tim Captain Got £v«a. The following account of an affair which took place at Boston in 1734, is taken from an old newspaper published in 1774: Capt. St. Leo, commander of a war ship then in Boston harbor, being ap­ prehended for walking on the Lord's day, was sentenced by a justice of the peace to pay a fine, and on refusing to pay had to tit in the stocks an hour dur­ ing the day. While in the stocks the good people supplied him with much good advice as to his future conduct on the Sabbath day. After he was released the captain ex­ pressed regret for his past transgres­ sions, and declared to them that he was in future resolved to lead a new life. The saints pf Boston were of course delighted at his sudden reformation, and in order that tt'e eaptaic might still further profit by their good counsel many of them invited him to dinner. The captain proved to be a most zeal­ ous and genuine convert. He attended prayer meetings and showed every out­ ward mark of grace. At length he was obliged to put to sea, but before the day of departure invited many of his spiritual advisers to dinner aboard the ves^l. which lay ready in Nantasket | roads. 1 .A 9aPitftl dinner 'Was provided, at his head and grabbed his lariat as he did so. » 1 S°!«, were drained to the captains health. >vhen the after-dinner harmony was at its height, a body of sailors burst into the cabin and seized the guests. They were dragged on deck, tied to a grating, and th« boat­ swain and his assistants administered the law of Moses in a most energeti® manner, the captain meantime assuring them that the mortification of the flesh less battles that has ever been recorded. Up and down the roadway the two horsemen dashed, the lassoes of the duelists flying and circling in the air. Not a word wa3 spoken. As fast as the Iassoe3 fell short, of their mark tliev Were jerked quickly together, and with a twirl over the head pach cowboy en­ deavored to encircle the other's neel:. The horses were flecked with foam, and both of them dashed away in the same direction, seeming to realize the fight to the death going on between the riders. On sped the horses, but not a word spoke the fighters. Bosco finally turned his eyes from the other cowbov for an instant, and, quick as a flash", Carrasco dropped the noose of his lariat over his adversary's neck, swung his pony around with a jerk, and, putting Bpurs to the animal, started off in the opposite direction. Bosco was jerked from his horse's back so suddenly that his neck was broken, and he was dragged over the ground at full speed for more than a mile. The victor^ disengaged his lariat from his victim's neck aud coolly rode into town.*-- Courier-Journal. •Sweet Content. A children's party, and the twins not invited! That was hard to bear, not because they expected to be invited, but from the bitter fact that they lived near enough to the great house to see the gaiety though they were not in it. Their own house was a. tiny cottage, to which they had just moved, and really the onlv reason why they were not at the party was that nobody had bad time to realize that there were some new children in the neighborhood. All the afternoon they stood by the lence, peering across the meadow, and watching the little forms of happy guests flitting aboutthe lawn. Evening eame, and they were silent with delight aver the Chinese lanterns in the shrub­ bery. Ijula, in an ecstasy, as their mother came out to, look with tended to the snvingof the soul. They were bundled into their boats and the captain immediately"set eail. Rrcklom. In teaching his boys the composition of sentences, a schoolmaster said to them: "If I ask you, 'What have I got in my hand?'you must not answer 'Chalk,' but compose a full sentence and say, 'You have chalk in your hand.' Now we will go on. What have Ion my feet?" "Boots," was the immediate answer. "Wrong. You haven't listened to my directions at all." "Stockings," returned another heed­ less one. "Wrong again! worse than ever," wrathfully cried the schoolmaster. "Well?" he continued interrogatively to a lad near. "Please, sir"-- Then he paused. Per­ haps he thought his answer might seem funny, but convinced that he was right, he gasped out recklessly,* "Corasf He Outrsilhetl Pa. Herbert is a small boy whose father is a militia officer, and he went down to camp yesterday to see him. While standing in front of a tent a visitori at­ tracted by his bright face; stopped to speak to him. "Well, my little man," he inquired, "what army do you belong to?" "I belong to the army of the Lord," he replied promptly, "but my papa is only in the district militia" -- Washing­ ton Star, SIMPLICITY of character is the natural result of profound thought. to. The blamed thing went off every time anybody came in or went out, day or night, and I got so tired of the eter­ nal clatter that I cut the wires and sub­ stituted some unpatented devices of my own. I hung a flat irbn on the key of the front door so that it would fall in a dishpan placed underneath; two pokers stood against the back door, arranged 30 as to fall at the slightest touch, and at various out of the way places I placed baskets filled Avith cheap crock­ ery, tinware and other articles, so that the burglar would step into or against them--at least I fervently hoped he would--and give me warning of his ad­ vent. But these schemes didn't work much better than the burglar alarm. Every­ body I knew got in the habit of calling on me after I had retired, and of course I would forget the flatiron, and send it clattering into the dishpan, necessitat­ ing awkward explanations, and once it clattered down on my toes. The cat made a regular practice of knocking down the burglar warning pokers, and if my wife stepped into the alarm bas­ kets once she did twenty times. * The result was that I fell back on my revolver, dub and dirk. I also bought a watchman's rattle. Two nights later 1 heard a noise, and looking "out of the window saw a man trying my front door. I fired at him, and the an­ swering howl informed me that I had missed my neighbor Brindle, who had been sitting up with a sick man--or, at least, he said lie had. Three nights later I sprang the rattle on my wife's aunt, who came from Poughkeepsie on a late train, and she was so angry that she wouldn't stay more than threo weeks and my wile thinks we are cut out of her will. Things went on in this fashion for a month or so, until the neighbors began to circulate a petition asking me to move out of the ward. So I told my wife that when I heard a burglar in the house the plan of cam­ paign would be as follows: 1 would first raise the window sasli, making as much noise as possible in doing so, and spring the rattle with a firm and deter­ mined hand. I would then give the burglar two minutes to leave the house. If he still remained among the silver­ ware I would advance into the upper hall, beat the stair railing fiercely with a base ball bat and fire three or four shots downstairs. I was firmly con­ vinced that no burglar could withstand such a terrible attack, and after it had been clearly outlined beyond the possi­ bility of a mistake I slept peacefully for the first time in three months. The very next morning, when I went downstairs to light the fire, I encoun­ tered a bare sideboard,, and further search revealed the fact that my domi­ cile had been ransacked from cellar to garret. It was a clean scoop. Well, there was one consolation. Now I know what I wouid do if a burglar broke into my house. I'd sleep.--New York World. Imagine Themselves Wild Beasts. The rapidly failing health of the in- sane King, Otho of Bavaria, is reported, and he will soon be taken from Furs- tenried to Munich to undergo an operation. Before he began to lose the greatjpbysical strength lor which he was noted, it Was quite a difficult mat­ ter to manage him. His reasorf>is com­ pletely gone. He imagines that he is a lion, and an ugly one, too, and he tries to bite every one that goes near him. A short time ago he bit an aide-de-camp in the calf of the x6g, aud wounded him so severely that the aide was laid ty? for a fortnight. The only person who can approach him is his brother, the late King, Louis II., who is now nearly as mad as lnmse'f. The two mad kings play together like fald beasts. They run on all fours through the stately halls of th^ Furaterp-iAd, bark­ ing ana yeiiinz, »'i4 -ppfriem-ly happy as two kuteaS. Some time ago ; Lmiis cut off liis brother's beard and ; £jtlr; butnow the hair and be'ard are | extremely long, n"^.h^JHes into.ii furi- j ous rage at sight pttU' of Bcisac^ J Otho has a passion faf cigarette*,;. | W£|l>u one is half snloked 3oM'ti ho has j a disagreeable habit of puttinglt out J on the forehead or nose ot his nearest I attendant, and he is so active thai it is almost impossible to get away from hiin. No woman can come near him. Wrhen PLEASANTRIES. rCnlled from our Tiiohnnyti ] . AK ocean greyhound should berbai* rigged. Is THE man with a shady any cooler than other folks? WHY is it that the blunt man genegv ally says the most sharp things? TWINS may be unconscious when ther are born, but they come two all right.;-, ^T. isthe small bov getting his hsir combed who knows the pain of parting, SOME detectives are so unsuccessful it is a wonder they ever "turn up" their toes. „ * ~ DOES your wife ever let vou haTA • the last word?" "No.leir. I married a widow." "CHARITY begins at home," remark*! the father as he gave away his daugh­ ter at the marriage altar. • APPRECIATIVE--"How did you like A# last poem?" "Very much, indeed. Jty have, written a parody on it." THE man who doesn't advertise ja. like Enoch Arden, "A lonely watcher ou the shore; no sale from day to day." "SAY, Jack! I'll give you a fiver if you'll answer a simple question right**/ "Done." "Lend me a tenner, will youf* ROB--Hold on there, sir! You at!*, taking my umbrella. Bob--Ah, so J am. Excuse mo. It was merely a misa- take. A LITTLE girl asked hor mamma to" buy her some bunions, so she con^ "tell when the weather is going |p change," „ ° ^ CHARLEY--I see that the paper printe M. D. after Doctor Swim's name. Whirt does it mean? Pa--Many deaths, I guess! Don't bother me. SHE (affectionately)--I heard youf heart beat, darling. Is it beating for me ? He--Not exactly. I think I hear your father putting on his heavy boots. "GOOD gracious, Fritz, where have you been?" "I lell into the canal, papa,* "Aud with your new trousers on!" "No; I had just time to take them off before Ifel^in. YOUNG Goslin -- Mr. Rocks, I wish--er--that is, I desire--er-- the hand of your daughter. Rocks--That all ? Whats the matter with the res* of her, then ? CALIFORNIAN--Yes, siree. If you want ter live forever, jest come to Californy. Easterner--I had three uucles died out there one after the other. "Well, well! Was they lynched, er shot?" SLIPPED Up on a Peel--How did that case against^you by the man who broke his leg on your sidewalk go?" "It met the §ame fate the plaintiff did ?" "What was that?" "Slipped up on appeal." WIPE--I'm writing to Mrs. Van CortlandtLake, dear;shall I put in any word from you? Husband--That woman makes me deadly tired. Give her my kindest regards, of course. COUNTRY Editor (out West)--This has been a lucky day for me. Faithful Wife--Has same one been in to pay a subscription ? Editor--Well, no. wasn't as lucky as that; but I was shot at and missed. MR. BILKINS (looking up from the paper)--The eminent physiciau, De= Greathead, says there is no exercise so conductive to health in woman as ordi­ nary house-work. Mrs. Bilkins--Huh! I'll bet he's married. SOLOMON (the money lender)--Re­ becca, little Isaac is going to make a great business man. Rebecca--Whsr do you think so, my dear? Solomon-** I sent him to the woods to get sou# flowers, and he brought home nothing but golden rods. Very Old Type Found. f A few days ago a lot of type was plowed up ii; a field at Ephrata on ground of the historic Seventh Day Baptist Society. The press on whicfc this type was used is now in Philadel­ phia. in possession of the State Histori­ cal Society. It was the second presis set up in the colony of Pennsylvania. It was obtained by the society at Ephrata in 1742, and for half a century thereafter was in active operation. Besides the celebrated "Book of Martyrs" which was printed on this, primitive press over forty other publi­ cations are known to have been issued. A large amount of Continental money was also printed here shortly after Con­ gress adjourned from Lancaster to York in 1777. Among the publications was au edition of the New Testament. Three wagon loads of printed sheets of these were seized to make cartridges for the Continental Army, and at the battles of Germantown and Brandywine the curi­ ous spectacle was presented of the Bible being utilized by the patriots to beat the British. The ol«i pi^as was worked bv the brethren of the cloister until 1795. The type that has just been found must therefore have been buried almost a Ago. Not (Withstanding this long disuse a-d exposure, it is in a good stale of preservation, the lettering be­ ing quite distinct ana corresponds# the imprint Op kbukfr yet^preserved at Lancaster.-- Philadel­ phia Inquirer. „ -- & Convenient Way toKepulso an Old Afl- qualntanca. A Chicago man stood talking to a friend in the Continental Hotel corridor recently. A seedy looking individual he sees one he gets into a frightful rage approached, and, after a prolonged con- and smashes everything around him. templation of the Chicago man, stepped Formerly it was possible to take him out driving, but now the sight of a horse also enrage3 him. The last time that he took a carriage ride he got out and tried to kiss the horse. The horse, not liking such royal familiarity, butted His Majesty in the nose and drew the .blood freely. The sight of the blood in front of him and with a half-familiar air said: "Are you George Evans ?" The Chicago man looked the new­ comer over and then aaid, quietly: "No, my name is William Evans." The questioner seemed embarrassed as he said, "Excuse me, I thought you raged him to fuch an extent that h^ were George Evans, of Chicago, got into a fit and was ill for several! The Chicagoan made no further reply and his questioner had nothing" to do days. At present he is calm, and is gradually becoming silent and melan­ choly. His death is soon «pee ted, and the legend of the "Black Lady" is talked of. This is the lady that appears in the halls of Furstenried when a Whittelsbach is about to die, just as the " White Lady" in Berlin announces the death of a Hohenzollern. A Sensible Boy. An old farmer whose son, having gone to a show, was much lacerated in consequence of having "fooled around" tlie lion's cage, in speaking of the af­ fair, said: "You see, Lige he thought that the lion was asleep au' 'gunter tickle his foot. The lion wa'n't asleep." "The lion tore off your son's arm, I believe." "Yes, his left arm. Oh, Lige he is putty sensible, an' ef tliar's got to be any chawin he alius hands out his left arm. Jes' think of it, will you? Ef it had a-been h«ct right arm it woulder sp'iled him for life. W'y, when it come to tyih' fbdder he wouldenter been worth u d'-n. Ob, that boy has got sense. "-~Arkanstnc Traveler. but wander away. When he was out of earshot his friend said: j "But you are George Evans, are you not? George William Evans?" "Yes, but when a man who knew me as George Evans in Chicago comes to me with the manifest intention of trying to borrow $5, especially if his breath suggests a distillerv, I'm in­ variably William Evans. It's a. most convenient way to repulse an old ac­ quaintance who is undesirable opw pany,"--Ph ilatlelph ia Press. - Lots or Sand. Anson Here's something new in the way of premiums. At a tea store in a new town in Washington they are giv­ ing away a building lot with every pound of tea. Bronson--That's not so very new, after all. The grocer right here on the next corner has teen giving real estate with his sugar for many years.--West Shore. T m -- is ^ if none of your neighbors aeem to ~ have much religion,, it is a sure sign ' that you need mora^o'ir^elf,

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