McHenry Public Library District Digital Archives

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 19 Nov 1890, p. 6

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ilrr Editor and PuMisklr. ILLINOIS. THE WAITER GIRL. Ifet . she cotnea upon my yeartiuiR sight, . . Uriendly bencon alibiing thro' the night. tbo' thy hiiixiH and foet be large--thy bctd <MMW'W>imt«>ii(tn<;e alike be fiery red ; *f!f <WT<St seeing you is past controi-- JMMIIMIMII of plenty to my famished soull MiWDMitolHm my slightest wMft W »Wi, , And murmurs-- , "'Sonporfish?" ' *• • of Erta, skittish are thy ways, e my meal you'll bring some of these ^ -J1*** **ocrastin»tet Why, why so slow? -*Kt wnfUng for the bam and egg* to grow? jAtkwgiJhy she come* again upon the HMM; U»«ta)^gue bottle popping out it a oork She shouts out-- "Beeforpork?" >1 , v. Hie ONE, tho' BO drinking man AM I--»I'VI ('*{', some miM, Hyi.t beverage wocldMgr. Imteuly hwnery au< 1. but atliirnt; y" loeald drink until mv hide would burst. 'jVawr loe w«ter. milk or lemonade. ooc! drink bring me, oh, though lovely •*. ' " " V-.*' 'I-"-' <*t Mm she sses my signal and fmttS Shouts atme-- "TeaorcoB?" •>, . . awne, thou shy. coy maid, hfitt'tny ijf- 3B6jjgy5T«uie to the end of this my meal? • ? • JpTBIIs «mal3 ration all I aiu to draw ? yi* famines tooth forever at me gnawf^ !• .' jTctft tfcink: I've fcrnd enough--not so--uoti set ^1*, tittle of a boHrder's wants you know) "jSU'd bat. listen--if you only would I Hie answers-- -W.:.... "Pieorpad?" ; j., , ... -•••• 1 1 11 1 MftvV/Sfl BRER BAXTER'S MEETING f BV OriK P. R£AIX * • \3jEfcfr. Bonesett Baxter, whose congre- *Wioii lived on the east shore of the JSed rivwr, and Rev. Bronson Fennel, "Whose congregation held forth on the bank of the stream, found it ?m- Ssnbie to agree. They lield the same tb* both baptized their converts in tiw same water, and on special occasions IhtJ communed with each other, as alf -ooioved brethren should; but their •««sr»s of religions love was not deS- tlRCKi to flow as smoothly as the stream divided their log meeting meeting The trouble came about in way: Baxter's side of the river suffering from the effect of too wmeh rain; Fennel's side was afflicted "With. #, drought. Baxter called his peo­ ple toother to pray for sunshine; Fen- **l assembled his congregation to peti­ tion for rain. One day while Baxter was urging ifefc people to pray with more earnest- Rev. Dr. Fennel entered the house, almost unobserved, took a se.\t r tbo door. "Brudders an' sisters," Baxter, "I tell you, an' I tell you r*, dat lessen you fling mo' groans »* •g'ay inter yo' prar, de Lawd ain't pay no 'tention ter yon. He dtfti down do law an' say dat w'en you "wants er tiling you gotter pray fur it, an' J*®f far it loud--way up yander in de 1% *5- Xero you air, openin' yo' mouf Widi or weak voice, axin fur sunshine so «Ie cotton will grow, an' still de rain «tane «r laung, an' drown out de young ^bnt. Git down dar now an' pray like «wmefeody dun set de house er fire. Jhnwlder Sanderson, you'sgot er mighty loud mouf. Git down and turn yo self \ I has vered you holler mighty w'en you wuz arter a rabbit, so ; yo' voice wrong side out an' shake itfc for we arter sumthin' now dat founts ter mo' den all de rabbits in de \atumtv, Does you yere mo, Bruder Sanderson?" * '""fiaT on jere," demanded Rev. Mr. JFwantel, arising to his feet. "W'y, dar's Bruder Fennel," ex- • claimed Baxter. "Wharfo' you come later de house o* de sinnygog widout latti n' yo'se'f be knowed. W'yn't you » dar yeWf an' take er seat up yere in de ijwlpii'O'ide 'stiaetion an' de 'possels ?" "^dlier roir>e the pulpit," Fennel re- T didn't come ober yere ter iWW|i honey nur pour out de sweet milk de kaman flattery; I come yere on 1--niiiiiiiii, dat's whut I cum iur, an' I "Van's you ter 'mit dat lac ter yo' mem- "Wy Irroder, I doan' eomperhen' aaid Baxter, leaning over, placing 73 on the pulpit and gazing at !»preacher from across the river. •.Wall, mebby you will eomperhen' m v*en I say dat I wants you ter Bhut pdis jere prayin' fur sunshine." "FKtigiit' de compermens o' de season - responded Baxter, passing his over his woolly beard. "I is *fepiled ter say, nigger, git outen dis IMSR o' de Lawd an'go ofldown yander aa tin paster o' 'niquity wnar de pizen 'Vine grows an' de hog weed ketches de <iaaa> foreaf o' de clumsy toad fraug." "Spermine 'boutde paster aa' neber «awae 'boatde toad fraug," Fennel re- *Bed. ""1 has •come ober yere on business, •IP* mm kain't skeer me off wid er tew ^•tmls Boidie dat da won't eben play on 'imj uoderstandin'. Yere we is, right de river, sufferin' fur rain an' tty nigh burnt up wid de sun. an' you is ober on dis side tryin' ter de Lawd ter sen' mo' sunshine. ¥QQ got ter stop it, dat's whut you got <ar da You prayin' for sun an' we jtt^yin' for rain an' de fust thing you 'we'll git de Lawdsolmixed up He «nto feaisllv know whut ter do, an' in awjantime de cotton gwine be killed, mm" how «ieu will us preachers git our «ao<tty oaten de congregation? Doan inray far no mo' sunshine. Yere .'"^•JLook yere, nigger," said Baxter, "is «HTa,yin' fur rain ober at yo' house?" *XM, de bradren is in my church •ofr me beggin' de Lawd for de double-jointed man maul de life outen me. Wen de life dun gone, Bruder Baxter, it doan meek no diffunce wider pusson Xrhndder dar is no sunshine ur not. I'se willin' ter do my duty, but I doan wan ter feel like er steer dun wal- lered on me caze I aiu't 'joyin' de bes* o health no how." "Bruder Sanderson," persisted old Baxter, "doan you be skeered by de flesh o' de yeth. Turn loose yo'voice aa' if he hits yon it woan be good for him." "Oh, it mout not be good for him. Sanderson pleaded, "but dat wouldn't meek it good fur me. I ain't in no con dition to git hurt at de present, Bruder Baxter. I got ter split some rails ter- rm>rrer an' de naixt day I got ter clean out er well fur Mr. Jones, an' I doan blebe it would be doin' me no good ter pray under deze yere sarcumstances. Ef I didn't hab nuthin' ter do but lay up an' 'joy merse', w'y I wouldn't mine bein' crippled, but ez It is, I hopes you will skuze me. Take Bruder Martin, dar. He ain't got no work ter do. no how." "Tend ter yo' op business," ex­ claimed Brother Martin, "an' doan come flingin' out no sinnywations 'bout me. You doan know whut I got ter do, an' sides dat it ain't none o* yo'look out. Dun been sufferin' wid de dew pizen an' de rhematiz all de week, an' now you wants me ter git down yere an' 'vite dat bad nigger ter maul me. Jes' ten' tit vo' own erfairs and let Bruder Martin ten* ter his'n. Sufferin' wid er bad col' iikfel is an' yere come er man an' want me ter lay myse'f liable. I ain't so anxious fur sunshine .caze I ain't got no crop no how. You jest let me erlone, ef you please." Old Baxter stepped down from th6 pnlpit "Mr. Fennel," said he, "Fm gwine ter git down yere now an' pray, an' ef you tech my gyarmeots deze folks will yere suthin' drap an' atter lookin' da will fin' out dat it wan't me." "I ain't no prophet," replied Fennel, as he slowly walked towards Baxter, "an' darfo' ain't gwine to say whut de folks gwine yere, but I wanter tell you one thing an' wanter tell it migthy p'intedly; I ain't gwine stan' yere an' see you beggin' de Lawd ter send mo' sunshine w'en our eraps ober yander is burnin' up." "But I ain't gwine ax him ter sen' de sunshine ter you. I am gwine ax fur it ter be sent right yere." "Dat doan meek no diffuence," Fen­ nel answered. "De places is so clost tergedder dat our prars ober yander an' yo'-prars ober yere mout git mixed up." "Ef you doan wanter yere dis prar, git outen dis house." Baxter got down on his knees. "Fen­ nel looked about, found a bench leg and stood holding it with a tight grip. "Lawd," Baxter began, "dar's er big bluff o' a nigger standin' yere, an' I hopes you will keep yo' eye on him. We'se needin' sunshine in dis neighbor­ hood. an' I hopes you will send it right"--- Fennel made a quick movement, and then any one not knowing what had taken f>lace might have thought that a strong man had struck a hickory stump. Baxter sprang to his feet with a horri­ ble grin on his face and seized Fennel. Then there followed a fine display of strength aud agility. They hopped over the benches, and had there been music it would have seemed that the two men were waltzing with each other. The pulpit was overturned, the stove was knocked down and a section of the pipe, wouud with telegraph wire, struck the inoffensive Brother Sanderson and laid him out. Wild shouts arose, and during the consternation some one ex­ claimed, "Laws a massy! yere comeer mad dog." A moment later there was no one in the house except the two preachers. They, holding each other, stood in a corner. The dog, a turious- looking animal, came towards them. "I doan mine tighten a man, but I doan wanter dog ter come killiu' me wid his iobia. Turn me loose, I tell you." Baxter held him so that he could scarcely move. "Lawd, come on down yere an' proteck yo' sarvent," Fennel moaned. "Oh, look at dat monstous thing's eyes. Bruder Baxter, sweet Bruder Baxter, please turn me loose." "No, sah, we gwine die right yere tergeder." : "Oh, I woan die dis way." f* "You kain't hep yo'se'f." "Dis is murder." ^ "Ah, hah I Bat it ain't splittin' er head open." . "Oh, look at him. Sweet chile o' de chillun o' Izyul, I'll lub you alius ef you will let me jump outen dat winder." "I'se feared o' aich lub ez you got." "Oh, I'll do anything in the frorl' fur you." "Will you gib me dis gyarment you got on--dis fine coat?" "Yas, I 'clar I will. . But dis was all I got fur preachin' las' year." "1 kain't hep dat. Shuek off de coat." "I kain't git it off." "I'll git it off fur you. Quick, ur dat dog will stick his pizen teef in you." "Yere, fur de Lawd's sake, take it." Fennel slipped out of the coat and sprang through the window. Baxter grinned and turning to the dog said: "Pete, I didn't think you wuz wuth so much. Didn't gib de prornis* o' so much wuth w'en yo€ wuz layin' roun' de house scratchin' de fleas offen yo'se'f. "W'y, you ain't got de sense ter go run mad, has you? Dat nigger think lie hurt my head. Huh! jes well hit de cornder o' de house. Wall, de folks all gwine. I'll go now an' w'ar dis coat to old Aunt Jinny's funer'l."--New York World. O'SULLIVAK PRODUCED THE EVIDENCE. ONE OP THE CRONIN MURDIR- FRS MAKES A CONFESSION. iJW*ll, yon go ober dar an* tell'em let ftrt de. Lawd er lone. We'se had er nuff "Nnff rain!" exclaimed Fennel, "w'y ain't got ez much sense ez er new <pwuid lizzard. I tells you dat we'se «uSeritr fur rain." , > "An* I' tells you," rejoined Baxter, we's sufferin' fur sunshine an' we i pray fur it, too. Bruder Sander- turn yo' gr'et voice wroSg side out a* lead off in er prar dat the sinners a, de yader side de river kin yere." "Mr. Sanderson," said Fennel, t't got <ie pleasure o' yo' 'quaintance, an'I doan know whar you wuz Iao' raised; bnt lemme tell you you 'girfs ter pray fur suthin' dat is ruinin' our side de ribber I'll take it mvse'f ter hit you on de top o' de sah." / ; "Btader Sanderson," Baxter quickly igpoke up, "pay no'tention ter dis nigger •«»t drinks strong gin an' preaches weak ma, but open yo' mouf an' lead us pmries' like I tells you to. Yere I says V" ? "Oh, yas, sath, I yeres well ernuff," ^Sanderson replied, "but I doan wanter •o-truck wid that nigger. Look er arm he go't, an' I bet right now *faa kin butt the >bark offen er beech tree. 1 doan mine pcayin.'--wouldn' mine feayin' all day 'eept stoppin' long ernuff •»f eater little suthin'--but I doan feel 9Bkm gittia'dowa yeve tar pray an' hab , Gave Her s Good T1SU. Returned Daughter--Oh, ma, every­ body was so kind to me when I was in the city. They took me to balls, aud parties, and theaters, and operas, and all sorts of places. Shrewd Ma--I knew they would. You told everybody, didn't you, that your pa had bought a cottage at New­ port, and we expected to entertain all our friends and relatives there next summer, that is, if they would come? Daughter--Yes, indeed, ma; and they said of course they'd come. Newport is the capital of Bhode Island, isn't it? Shrewd Ma--The Newport we are going to is in Pennsylvania.--A'cio York Weekly. Baby Jackets. Colored ribbons are not the best choice for a baby's bonnet. They do not show up to advantage. Crocheted jackets and sacks are very pretty in shop windows, and that is the proper place for them. Mr. Baby takes a bite off the tassel or corner of the collar and swallows a mouthful of worsted. If the material goes down the wrong passage he lias a lit of coughing, gets a dose of medicine tuat capsizes his well regulated stomach and no re'ief until the fluff is thrown up.--Exchange. A POLICEMAN is not a railroad man, though he frequently earns the tiV>e of "he«dbi;ake?ia*<V ™~ P. O'RalilTM, tike IM4(W, Tells VOW H« Eutlewl tb« Doctor to tHo Carlson C ottage, bat Claims Bs Did Hot Know Cronin Was ts lis KUtod-Bli Btat*- m«nt. [Chicago dispatch.] The cabal of Cronin conspirators has been broken. ̂ Patrick O'Sulllvan's love of liberty la stronger than his allegiance to tho Irish Nationalists. He has made a statement of his connection with the murder of Dr. P. H. Cronin, and by so doing has thrown light in dark places. He is angry, de­ fiant and determined. He is serving a life sentence in tho prison at Joliet. He says that he is guilty of nothing more than aiding in a conspiracy to identify an alleged British spy and to secure some "papers." O'Sullivan now realizes that tho securing of papers was not the chief purpose of the conspiracy and that Cronin was not a spy. A few days ago an intimate friend called upon the iceman and was furnish­ ed with the facts which are the cause of O'Sullivan's great confidence that he will bo given his liberty. Tho story was told with every indication of sincerity, and may be accepted as the first break in the oath-bound compact. O'Sullivan says that he never was In­ volved in any conspiracy to murder Cro­ nin. He was a member of the National­ ists. and it was common talk among the members that Cronin was a British spy and an enemy to the order. He believed the statements made to him, and as an ardent friend of the Irish cause he came to look upon Dr. Cronin as a traitor to the peo­ ple *of his native land. He was told that Dr. Cronin cou'd be identified as a British emissary, if necessary, and that upon his person could be found papers which would not only prove him to be an enemy of tho Irish Nationalists but which, unless secured, might bo used as evidence against prominent Irishmen. Drawn on by the enthusiasm of his oath- bound associates, O'Sullivan says that he entered into the conspiracy with Daniel Coughlin, Martin Bourk, Patrick F. Cooney, and others whose names he will give at the proper time. Daniel Cough­ lin had absolute charge of the matter and tho others acted under his instruc­ tions. O'Sullivan does not tell who was next in authority above Coughlin. The ice­ man says that he was not acquainted with the inner workings of the con­ spiracy. He was the dupe. It was he who was assigned to look after the secur­ ing of tho Carlson cottage; he was sent to make a contract with Dr. Cronin to furnish medical services for his (O'Sulll­ van's) employes at t|io rate of $50j§ year; ho was the one who Was to send a card to Dr. Cronin's houfife4n order to inveigle the victim into the'atfibush of the mur­ derers; he was the man forced out into the ouen while the others romained un­ der cover and perfected their plana of assassination unknown to him. O'Sullivan says that up to the very hour of the murdef he was in ignorance of the real mptive of the preparations which the conspirators had been careful­ ly making for seventy-two days. He knew that the Carlson cottage had been rented and furnished by Martin Bourk, and he also knew of the other arrange­ ments for leading Dr. Cronih into the trap. But Coughlin repeatedly assured him that the intention was to get posses­ sion of Cronin and examine him for docu­ ments which wero: valuable to the Irish cause and which would prove tho treach­ ery of the man who professed to be a friend of Ireland. O'Sullivan was at the cottage on the night of May 4, 1889, bnt he was not in the front room when the fatal blow was struck. Tho mysterious driver of the white horse had been sent to Dr. Cronin's resi- dc&pe, carrying one of O'Sulllvan's busi­ ness cards. The iceman either does not know or refuses to give the name of the driver. The remainder of the narrative can be put in O'Sullivan's own words as he has told it within the last few days: "There wero three of us in the front room of the cottage at 8 o'clock that evening," said O'Sullivan. "They were Martin Bourk, Patrick Cooney and my­ self. We wero waiting to see whether our plan was successful. I was feeling pretty nervous, for I did not like the way Bourk and Cooney acted. I did not see any weapon, and I will always say that I did not go there that night to commit murder. When the buggy bringing Dr. Cronin drove up the street toward the cottage 4. weakened ana began to realize that there might be trouble--a struggle at least--and so I went out through the back room and down the rear stairway. I stood back of the house trembling with horror as I heard the sounds of the struggle from within." O'Sullivan's story in regard to being in the back yard at the time of the killing is corroborated by the testimony of Mrs. Carlson and of the German washer­ woman, who saw Dr. Cronin enter the cottage. Both of them testified at the trial that .some one was standing at the rear of the house at the time of the mur­ der. In continuing his story O'Sullivan says that after remaining outside of the house for a time, undecided what to do, he went in and found Cronin lying, ap­ parently dead, on the floor of the front room. The walls of the room wero spat­ tered with blood and there was a pool of blood on the floor. Dan Coughlin was in the room. He had been waiting up the street and had come in at the front door just after Bourk and Cooney, "the Fox," had completed their bloody work. As O'Sullivan came in the back way Coughlin walked up to the body of Dr. Cronin lying on the floor and began kick­ ing the dead man in the head. O'Sullivan caught hold of him and told him to stop. Coughlin paid no attention to the iceman, and continued stamping upon the head of the lifeless man. Then O'Sullivan drew a revolved and 9aid: "You scoun­ drel, you have killed this man, and now you are kicking his dead body. If you don't stop, I'll shoot you." Cotighlfn ran out of the room at the point of O'Sullivan's revolver. O'Sullivan left the house and had nothing to do with putting the body into tho trunk and dis­ posing of it. It was his understanding at tho time that Martin Bourk struck the first blow, which dazed and stunned the victim, although it did not prevent him from struggling until he received his other death wounds. O'Sullivan will swear upon the witness-stand, if an op­ portunity is given htm, that he did not f urnish the weapon with which the mur­ der was committed, and that if one of hid ice-picks was used it was without his knowledge. The mysterious wound upon the back of Cronin's head was caused by a kick from Coughlin after the victim was dead. The above is, in substance, the story told by the Lake View iceman after nearly a year of penitentiary reflection at Joliet. It !s the story wljjch he wished to tell the jury when he felt the coils of circumstantial evidence tighten­ ing about the defendants in the trial. He says that he placed all the facts at the disposal of the attorneys and that they told him it would be unwise for him to testify. Hopes of ac mittal were held out to him, and so, doubting and fearing, he kept' quiet under protest. If he had been placed on the stand the whole mechanism of the Clan-na-Gael conspir- ' acy would have been laid bare. Sogie opp might have gone to the gallow ̂ tjnt tie . . . .... ... . _ tee low an wtarer to him >u#t new than any oatMtoiuid obligation to men who, as ho ctaf«h& denelveii hi mi The prosecution In the Crontn case could never understand why O'Sullivan had boon so indiscreet in making his contract with .the doomed physician and then sending his business card by the driver, thus furnishing the strongest kind of circumstantial ovldonce against himself. His present statement, if ac­ cepted as true, furniphes the explanation of his conduct. He did not observe the secrecy to be expected of one who was planning a murder which was sure to be investigated thoroughly. When Dr. Cro­ nin had been missing over night, T. T. Conklin, with whom Dr. Cronin had boarded, picked up O'Sullivan'scard from the mantel and went out to the Lake View iceman in regard to the physician's disappearance. It is claimed by O'Sulli­ van that if he had been a part of the conspiracy to murder he would not have been so careless in having his identity revealed to the Conklin family; neither would ho have selected the Carlson cot­ tage, only a few feet from his own house, as a safe place to do the danger­ ous job. O'Sullivan was careful in his endeavor to keep suspicion away from Cronin's mind, but he did not cover up his tracks, and he thinks this fact ought to speak eloquently in his behalf. It is certain that the State's Attorney could not satisfactorily explain the iceman's boldness In carrying out his part of the deeply laid plot, while the others were so quiet in their operations. O'Sullivan's verbal confession has been in the hands of certain well-known gen­ tlemen for several days. Some of them are interested, at least in sentiment, in the Identification and punishment of all who were connected with the great con­ spiracy, which had its origin, they say, with men whose political and social sta­ tion was far above that of Coughlin, O'Sullivan, Cooney, - Bourk and Kunze. One of them, who is acquainted with the O'Sullivan version of the tragedy, said last evening: "At no time did we believe that O'Sul­ livan was in the room at the'time of the murder. He was in the back yard crouched against the building and cower­ ing with fear. He lost his nerve when he saw tho buggy approach. When he saw Coughlin kicking the lifeless man he drew his revolver and attempted to aid the victim of the murder. We believe O'Sullivan's story, but when I picked up a morning paper and read that he was anxious to mako a public statement on the witness stand the news seemed too good to be true. I only hope that O'Sul­ livan will speak out and name the men who used the iceman and the otbspa as their deluded tools." \ ^ j Flowers in the Blums. The' organization known as the King's ^ Daughters, which includes among its kindly offices those of read­ ing to the sick in hospitals, distrib­ uting books and papers, singing in hos­ pital wards and elsewhere, has added a new feature to its work during the present summer heats, says a writer in Frank Leslies. In New York the daughters have organized a committee on tenements whose duty it is to visit and distribute flowers among the peo­ ple who live in stifling apartments, far removed from the freshness of nature. Some of these ladies have located themselves in the very heart of these districts and from their headquarters send out daughters of the king every day with flowers, which are eagerly welcomed by the poor and unfortunate ones upon whom they are bestowed. The flowers are largely received from sympathisers with the work in the country, and the express companies carry them without cost when ad­ dressed to the King's Daughters, Mar­ iner Temple, 1 Henry street. A news­ paper reporter, who recently accom­ panied one of these ladies in her tour, gives gome very touching illustrations of the eagerness with which the floral gifts are received. In one case two old and infirm women in white caps took the flowers with withered hands that trembled, and rose and courtesied,%and one of them began to cry. They called her "sister" and "deary," and blessed her for her good heart. One Irish­ woman in the same tenement said: "Yes, indeed, but they are pretty; but I see something prettier," at which the King's Daughter looked around to 6ee what it could be, and found the re-1 porter smiling at the woman, and flushed when she understood what she had meant. "Stop your laughing," protested the woman; "it's no blarney, but the truth. I've seen your sweet face around here before, and we know you're a good lady, and its yourself and not the flowers we're glad to see." Another woman called her "sister," mistaking her, maybe, for one of the Sisters of Charity; and the other woman ^ on the floor, who had been quarreling in a very high voice with the first one, grew silent and said: "Thank ye, miss; my husband will be glad to see them when he comes home." Then she ran off iuto the baok room and brought out a flower pot with some green leaves in it. There was no flow­ er, but the leaves were growing green, and she held it up for the visitors tQ admire. "They were all," says the re­ porter, "painfully grateful for the flowers. It would interest some people to know how much flowers are to some other people. They could understand it if they could see the children fight­ ing for the rose leaves that fell on the landing of the stairs where the flowers shed them." Short but Good. !if a" hospital at Washington is a pa­ tient who is suffering from the effects of eating raw pumpkin. THE Statistical Institute of Home an­ nounces that 63 per cent, of ail Italians are unable to read and write. Aw Atchison candidate worked so hard that he lost twenty pound# during the canvass, and then got beaten. THE most abiding results of sunstroke arc all referable to impaired functional energy of the cerebrospinal system. BKFOHB the invention of the telescope an object upon the moon's surface fifty miles in diameter could not be seen. AN orchardist at St. Helena, Cal., has obtained a profit of more than 81,600 from one acre of apple trees this sum­ mer. A PATH of bantam chickens were sold at the London Crystal Palace for $500, which was almost twice their weight in gold. SOCIKTT is dull in Leavenworth be­ cause of a lack of young men, and dull in Topeka because of a scarcity of young ladies. Xj A Binij is one of the most wonderfully organized of all animals, and almost the whole of its organization is arranged to facilitate flight. AsAFfEniTA. is a vegetable, not an ani mal, product. It is prepared from the roots of a plant extensively grown in Persia, Beloochistan, and Afghanistan. 'Tfins pneumatic : How th« Judge Impressed His I>Ignlty on the Congregation. Old Judge McTea', whom, years ago, the harvester gathered and stored away in the great barn of eternity, was one of Arkansaw's first circuit nderd of the law. >? There was only two circuits in the state, and the log home iu which the grand and petie juries as­ sembled. were often a week's journey apart. The natives were all anxious to see a judge, believing him to be a man of great stature aud an intellect from which but lew scraps of information were kept hidden. McTcal was rather a small man, with a mottled complex­ ion and a nose which seemed to have caught the lingering rays oi an autumn sun. One <Jay while riding along toward Bent Shank court house, he lost the "blazed trail," wandered for a time in the woods and finally came upon a small cabin built of round togs. He was in the act of drawing a long breath pre­ paratory to a lusty "helloa," when he was startled by the swelling notei of a hymn which suddenly arose. Nothing more quickly revives the memory of sacred teachings than a song of religious praise bursting upon an unexpectant ear, and the judge, being a man of or­ thodox faith, was thankful that in so wild a place he had found men who were endeavoring to walk in the footsteps of Peter and Paul. When he entered the obngregation * stopped singing and looked at him. The preacher, who stood with his elbows resting ou a tall slab bench,, gazed at him intently and said: . "Thar seems to be a disturbing ele­ ment in the fold. Stranger, whut mout be your bus'ness?" The judge, who was embarrassed to see that his presence had wrought such a change, replied that having lost bis way he had come upon the house, and finding that religious services were be­ ing held, had entered, glad of the op­ portunity to indulge his appetite for worship. "We hnfter be mighty keerful, pod- ner," rejoined the preacher. "You mout be a true seeker air ter the straight and narrow ptrth, but then agiu you moutent. To tell you the truth--an' it's one o' my habits to be plain--I don't like the way you've yourself rigged up. We don't put on no style out here, an* we don't see why a honest man aughter put on them sorter duds. What mout be your business, podner?" "I am the newly appointed judge of this district." The preacher and the congregation laughed. The idea of so small a man being a judge was inconsistent with the people's preconceived estimate of such a dignitary. "Look here, podner," said the preach-^ er, throwing one leg over the yench, putting one hand under his chin and shoving out his whiskers, until they pointed at the judge, "we ain't all pro­ fessors o' larnin' aa' it mout take us some time to cal'clate a oclipse o' the sun, moon an' stairs, but thar's a right smart sprinklin' o' hoss sense 'mungst us. A judge, eli?" Pulling buck his whiskers, the preach­ er discharged a mouthful of "ambier" and nodded at the judge as though he would clinch his last remark. "Gentlemen, you are, of course, en­ titled to your own opinions," said the jurist, "but we will wave r,ll that aside. Please proceed with your devotional exerciser." "No," replied the preacher, "we are about through now." "I hope that my presence has not caused you to give up a performance so laudable." "Talks like a judge, dinged if he don't," said a red-headed deacon, slowly shaking his head as though wavering between a continuation of disbelief aud a conviction that the judge had spoken the truth. Yas," replied the preacher, "but talk is easy. Ef I was to slick up a little, an' go into a strange neighbor­ hood an' give the foiks a few lines o' my best conversation, w'y they'd think J that I had writ a 'rithmetic or ben speaker o' the legislature" Although the'judge's pride to some extent suli'ered, yet the incredulity of the congregation amused him. "Par­ son," said he, "we will not further dis­ cuss the question of whether or not I am a judge, for, on un occasion of this kind it really makes no difference. How is it, my good frieuds, that I see no women in the congregation ?." \- "Because thar ain't none he&B, I reckon," rejoined the preacher. "Yes, very likely that is one reason." "An' anuther reason," contiuued the preacher, "H because they didn't come." This logic was so convincing that the congregation laughed. H Why did they not come ?" asked the judge. "Wall, tbev had to stay at home an' take kefe of the chillun. The wimmen folk's don't need no preachin', fur, bless 'em, they are good enough without it." "Well, gentlemen, as services are closed for to-day, I do not think it would be any impropriety in taking a little something to drink. I have some excellent stuff hero." continued the judge, taking out a bottle. "I'll j'ine you," said the preacher, throwing out a quid of tobacco. Turn­ ing up the bottle, he took a lingering "pull," and said: "Ah, boys, blamed if X dont believe he is a judge. ' Turning up the bottle again, and hesi­ tating some time before he took it down, he wiped his mouth with his coat sleeve, and declared: "Boys, blamed if 1 don't know it." "Pass the evidence this way," said the deacon. "Ah,"--after a protracted upward gaze--"he's got the proof. All that want to be satisfied jest come up to the mourner's bench. Nobody but a jedge could toat this sort o' licker." The entire congregation, becoming repentant, crowded around the mourn­ er's bench; and, as a hymn broke forth, the. Judge was lifted from the floor and borne ou the shoulders of the ar- deut worshipers. All the brothers as­ sisted him in finding the blazed trail. "Never since that time," said the Judge, in speaking of the event, "have I found a church where I was held iu esteem so high."--Opie P. Bead. He Uid Not Get His Money. Al>ig, tall Westerner staggered into a well-known hotelMhe other night at about 11 o'clock, tmd demanded his money, which was locked up in the safe. The clerk bluntly told him that he couldn't .have it. "Ain't the monisli mine?" he asked wrathfully. "Yes; but you can't have it 'till to-niorrow. You'd better go to your room." The guest begged and threatened and demanded, out to no purpose. Then he let the bell-boy take him up-stairs. When he had gone the clerk said to a by-stander: "To­ morrow morning" that man will come down here and thank me for refusing to itt him have the money. Whenever he ing on a spree he takes out of his wallet all the money he wishes to spend that night, and hands me the remainder, telling me to look it up for him and re­ fuse to let him have it until he jL-jts sober. About midnight or a little later he will come in and do as he did just n°w--try to make me give up tae cash. But to-morrow morning he will coma down and thank me for refusing."-- New York Tribune. A Train Captain. The horrible tunnel accident oa th* Queen and Crescent railroad is charged to the sleepy crew of freight train, but the in ana gem an t is blamed for start­ ing passengers out on the blockaded road, to suffer serious inconvenience by delays and very imperfect transfer fa- cilities. There is an intimation that this impropriety taught not have been committed had the President, Vice President, General Manager, or Gen­ eral Passenger Agent been on duty at headquarters. That has not the ap­ pearance of being a very good excuse, although there is no cause for wonder a,the loose management of a railroad when no responsible official is at his post of duty. The hideous collision in the tunnel would not have occurred had ordinarily good care been taken in the run Ding of the trains. Indeed, the sys­ tem of train running was at fault. The sleepy freight crew should have been notified by the officers of the first pas­ senger train to pass that another train was soon to follow. This danger-signal system is observed on all well-managed roads, even in cases where there are double tracks. This most unfortunate affaii- cal' atr tention to a reform that i* needed on all railroads, especially those which do a large business. Each train should have an officer, whose particular care it is to observe orders as to running time. Take a passenger train, for example, the conductor is busy in looking atter passengers as they get on and off, and in collecting fares. His time is usually fully occupied, and oftentimes matters 'turn up which are calculated to knock out of his head all ideas as to the time of his train, and others which he is to pass. The engineer has enough to do to watch his machinery and the track ahead, to manage the air brakes, stop and start his train, and try to avoid run­ ning over some one at a crossing or strolling along the track. So there is a train official yet to appoint--a traiu cap­ tain, as it were, to run the train. He need not have to busy himself as a ticket taker, or be bothered with women, babies or bundles, or argue with stubborn or dishonest passengers, or look after the steam and machinery, or the track, and yet have a most im­ portant duty to perform. He should look to the running of the train, receive telegraphic orders and execute them, keep advised as to the movement of other trains likely to come in his way --in short, take charge of the train at its start from a terminus and be respon­ sible for its management until it ar­ rives at its destination. Under such a system there would be fewer collisions,. --Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. The Love of an Old Umbrella. "Umbrellas repaired while you wait," is the seductive advertisement of a Ful­ ton street dealer who sells new umbrel­ las, as well as mend old ones. "Oh, yes," he said, "we get plenty of tinkering work to do. A great many men regard an old umbrella with affec­ tion. Their fingers become accustomed to the little grooves in the handle, and they would feel bewildered and uncom­ fortable if they grasped a new stick. Here, now, is an umbrella that a Frenchman brought to me yesterday. There was hardly a vestige of a cover left to it, and I told him it could not be repaired. He was disappointed, but finally he ordered a new cover. The handle is not worth 10 cents to anybody except himself, and I could have given him a brand new umbrella for the price charged him for the silk; but that would not have suited him at all. So long as he could clutch the old han­ dle he felt at peace. "Occasionally a man wants a new stick put into an old cover, for a stick, if it is broken in the middle, is not easily mended. Generally the handle is a piece distinct from the rest of the stick, and when the lracture is at the joint we have no trouble in mending it. Frequently the owner of an umbrella tells me, when he wants me to close .a hole in it, that it has been in his pos­ session for twenty years. As a matter of fact he hasn't owned it for as many weeks. A new stick put under an old oover, and, a month later, the old cover replaced by a fresh one, make a new umbrella, don't they? Well, that ia what he has had done half a dozen times since it was first bought." Oldest 1'iaee in America. "Do you know the oldest place ili all America?" said Gen. John B. Hender­ son, of St. Louis, to a circle of friends last week. "I don't mean the oldest town in the country or on the continent, but the land first formed on the Wes­ tern hemisphere ? No ? Well I thought not. It is Mount Marcy, in the Adi­ rondack mountains. Agassiz and other geoligists have figured out that Mount Marcy was the point of land that made its appearance first above the water when the Western hemisphere was evolved. I have a summer home near Mount Marcy, and I know that the rooks are azoic in formation, with no trace of organic life. It is the highest peak of the Adirondaoks, and I have traveled over that country until I know it pretty well. John Brown's old home ia only about three miles from mv house. It is interesting to travel through the Adirondacks with a boat and guides, because of the beauty of the scenery. The formation of the mountains is peculiar. There are many portages where the guides carry boats across from one lake or river to another lake or river. These mountains ixe drained by streams running into Lake Ontario, the St. Lawrence River, Lake Cham pi am, the Hudson River and the Mohawk River. It is not dangerous to ascend Mount Marey, but it is difficult- and tiresome. line- between New York and Philadelphia isnow,considered an assured fact. It is expected that it will transport large packages between ^ ttetwo cities hi less thafi t#ebty mlnuUisH to town with t£' intention oi £ The Basest ingratitude. A few days ago a Huntingdon County farmer attending his* weekly market, imbibed so freely, if not wisely, that when he was ready to return home he discovered it would be injudicious to pilot his horse and trap alone. Con­ sequently he prevailed upon a man to drive him while he Blumbered peace­ fully. His house reached, the im­ promptu Jehu awoke him and offered to help him to alight. Flesh and blood could not stand this. "What!" shouted the farmer, brought to himself by the *re*h air and his sleep, "you insinuate 1 am drunk? Be off with you." And to provs that he was sober he incontinently knocked down the man who had conveys I him eight miles,-- f u l l M M J M f i f c FFTTLE AND THERM;. A BOX of ftilian rabbits has been i»- Deived iu Pftfatfca, Fla. THE chestnut crop in Virginia Is un­ usually large this season. THE China Sea and the Bay of Fundy ire the two roughest seas in the worlcL THBEE murderers are now awaiting execution by electricity in New York State. THERE are more public holiday hi Honolulu than in any other city in the world. A BLUKBEBBT factory at Cherryfield, Me., has canned 7,063 bushels of berries this season. A WOMAN at Trenton, Mo., is selling common bricks at $1 each, in order to pay off a church debt. IN 1883 there were 2,770,000 valen­ tines sent through the London postofflce. This year only 320,000. AN Ohio man received $97 from an accident insurance company on aooount of being kicked by a boy. A BILL to forbid and punish the mak­ ing of caricatures has been introduced in the Vermont Legislature. A GEORGIA farmer has bought only 55 cents worth of meat during twenty- five years of housekeeping. A YOUNG locomotive engineer, on the Southern Pacific Railroad is the son of a millionaire of Terre Haute, Ind. THE Indians at Big Pine, Inyo County, California, hired a school teacher for four months and sent their children to school. . AN Alpena, Mich., woman wheeled her dead baby to a photographer's, car­ ried the body up-stairs and had its pict­ ure taken. THE British authorities find it very difficult to break up sheep stealing in Cyprus. The people do not regard it as a crime. A MABCELLCS, Mich., liar says he dug up a stump and found eighty-three rat­ tlesnakes in a nest, varying from four to ten inches in length. THE best dressed men oh the other side are having their trousers cut two inches longer than they have any use fori and turning them up. THE street car conductors and police use the same kind of whistles in Bay City, Mich., and it creates more fun than a barrel of monkeys. Two HORSES were drawing an express wagon in Seattle, when they touched an electric wire that had fallen across the street. Both animals were instantly killed. AN artesian well was drivon eighty- five feet through solid rock at Pullman, Wash., when water was struck. The discharge is said to be 1,000 gallons a minute. THE chime of bells being made in Troy for St. Patrick's Cathedral, New York City, will comprise fifteen bells and will woigh in the aggregate 30,000 ' pounds. ACCORDING to reports which have re­ cently been published, Germany em5- ployes 5,500,000 of women in industrial pursuits; Eugland, 4,000,000; France, 3,760,000; Italy, 3,500,000. A DRUNKEN man in East Providence, R. I., fell asleep in the gutter and snoared so loudly that he was arrested and lined not only for drunkenness but also for disturbing the peace. Woes of » cUorus Girl. "How to repulse a too-persistent awl too-familiar-on-short-acquaintance suitor in a pleasing and soubrette-like'way and at the same time have u quiet smile at his expense" would be a rather tak­ ing title for a novel or pamphlet or a chapter on "Advice to Beginners," oi something of that sort, wouldn't it? Such a work would have a very wide circulation. Chorus girls, eoubrettes, ingenues--nay, even prima doiiuas-- would cry for it. A few pointers on this subject were given out by one oi the bright young ladies who carry spears in the ranks of the Wilbur Opera Company. "We have to be awfully careful about our conduct while on this road," said she. "Miss Kirwin watches over ue like a mother, so what's a poor girl to do to have a little fun once in a while? You know us girls like to eat a Frank­ furter and drink a glass of lemonade after the performance, and it would en­ hance the pleasure derived from the re­ past to have some nice young fellows like--well, like Harry Hanusbury and Billy Ternorton to talk to us. But a fellow's got to have a certificate ctf character aud all that before he is per­ mitted to talk with us, much less to see us home. And still we get notes and flowers from fellows that would like to see how we look when 'close-away.' "One fellow in St. Paul who was stuck on Belle Hamilton wrote her the giddiest kind of a note. He told hei he would come to the matinee and that he would be sitting iu a certain seat. 4xf you care for me, wear a red rose on your left shoulder,' he added. Belle told us about it, and asked us all to provide ourselves with red roses. We did so. We pinned 'em on our left shoulder--te he! and snickered at the poor fellow. He didu't know what to make of it, but it gradually dawned upon him that his spoony note had proved a source of innocent merriment for the whole company. "Maud Daniels also played a very cute trick on a fellow in St. Paul. You know Maud is a beautiful girl and very talented, too, and of course she has been annoyed by the attentions of young men who like to be able to say that they know 'Miss So-and-So, the actress.' One day she got a letter from a fellow who seemed to be an original. 'I don't believe I'd know you agaiD,' he said, 'but when you were pointed out to me last night I thought you were a beaut. Can't you do something to­ night that will cause me to recognize you?' Maud concluded to have a little quiet fun, so she answered the note, telling him she would disport her bands in a negligee fashion in front of her. 'There will- be one girl in the march in the second act who will hiive her hands crossed in front of her. That will be your much-flattered Maud, she added. Well, you know we all wear our hands in negligee fashion during that march, so you can imagine how that fellow felt when he saw twenty editions of Maud Daniels with hands orossed coming on the stage--he, he, excuse me, I must laugh once more--May Baker, too, is quite a 'stringer.' It would require a volume to describe the tricks she has ' Slaved on fresh fellows. What, me? io. indeedy, not I! I've got to go on and do my little act now. So long I"-- Cincinnati Times-Star. - m'i - *1 3 1 \ I w. s)"i w I : Miil. " "i ili SUITOR (to her father)--Si* I lo*» the very ground your daughter walks on. Father (grimly) -- WTell, yonng man, yon ain't the first party that has had an attachment for it; liow* urn ever, if yon love it well enough to come here and help pay up the mortgage on it» yon can many Sanh. *< * m :• t: 'i wy -%

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